00:00Wait, that's not how it works.
00:02Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we're counting down our picks for the top 10 things movies get wrong about sex.
00:15Before we begin, we publish new videos every day, so be sure to subscribe for more great content.
00:21For this list, we're looking at those tropes that always pop up in Hollywood sex scenes,
00:25which make movie sex appear vastly different from the real thing.
00:29Yeah, we were just talking.
00:31Hi.
00:32Hi.
00:33We gotta go.
00:34Now?
00:35Number 10, people aren't clumsy in movies.
00:38It's close enough.
00:40Not full of eyes, you wouldn't mind.
00:42If there's one thing movie characters appear to have much more of than the average person,
00:47it's grace in the bedroom.
00:49You'll rarely see people on screen having trouble unclasping a bra, unless it's to add some comedy,
00:54or getting their shirt stuck on their head or tripping over their crumpled pants.
00:59What's even more impressive is when a film couple passionately makes out on their way to the bedroom,
01:07or in a cramped space without stubbing a toe, tripping over furniture,
01:11or banging their heads despite being a little preoccupied.
01:18Number 9, no one ever talks about wanting to have sex.
01:22So what do you think, should we have sex tonight?
01:24Ugh, sounds awful.
01:27Of course there are outliers to this rule, like Knocked Up's Pete casually and nonchalantly asking for sex while brushing his teeth,
01:34but overall, people in movies rarely have an actual conversation about wanting to have sex with their partner.
01:40Usually a scene will smash cut from seductive looks and winks to a squeaking bed,
01:44or a couple will just start passionately making out for seemingly no reason.
01:49I cried like a baby at the Keller wedding.
01:58Even new couples never seem to discuss it,
02:00as a scene usually progresses from an innocent and inexperienced kiss,
02:04to clothes being taken off within a matter of seconds.
02:19Next time you see a sex scene in a movie, pay attention to what the characters do afterwards.
02:23Chances are they'll simply roll over and start a conversation,
02:26go to sleep, smoke a cigarette, or some combination of those three.
02:30Movie people, you be nasty.
02:32Want a beer?
02:34Yeah.
02:35Is that all you can say?
02:37Yeah.
02:38Characters never have to do the things we mortals do.
02:41You know, like dispose of condoms, clean themselves up, or visit the bathroom.
02:45Things that are usually priority number one in the real world.
02:48No matter how great it was, there is always something practical to do after sex in real life.
02:53Penny for your thoughts.
02:59No awkward or graphic positions.
03:01Movie sex scene 101 only show the missionary position and absolutely nothing else.
03:11Movie couples rarely experiment with sex in different positions,
03:15cause that'd be too awkward to film and watch, right?
03:17Movies also rarely show anything more graphic than the missionary position,
03:21as that would border on the pornographic and possibly upset the more innocent members of the audience.
03:26Instead, we always see the man on top scenario, because it's safe, easy to film, and passionate,
03:33despite it being only one of many options available in a real bed.
03:37Number 6. Clothes get ripped off.
03:44You'll see it often in movies during a passionate make-out session.
03:47One half of the couple takes the other shirt in their hands and literally rips it from their body,
03:52with the sounds of fabric tearing and buttons bouncing off the floor to follow.
03:55While it may look hot on film, this act would result in nothing but yells of,
04:00why did you do that? And that was my favorite shirt.
04:03Also, physically ripping a shirt, especially off someone else's body, is incredibly difficult.
04:09And you'll look pretty foolish if you attempt and fail.
04:12Now you did! Yes, I did!
04:18Bitch!
04:20Number 5. Everyone orgasms very easily and quickly.
04:24Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
04:29Yes!
04:30Movies make sex look like the easiest thing in the world,
04:33as a passionate session never seems to last more than a minute.
04:36Morality sucks.
04:44Not only do partners always seem to finish simultaneously,
04:47which is quite an achievement on its own,
04:49but also it's always done extremely quickly and efficiently,
04:53with minimal effort from either party.
04:55Men usually finish within literal seconds for comedic reasons,
04:58think of Jason Biggs in American Pie,
05:00and women are usually not far behind.
05:03Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!
05:07There are never any problems regarding motivation or performance for either sex,
05:11unless it's a plot point. And that is some grade A BS.
05:23Number 4. Hair and makeup remain perfect.
05:26It's no surprise that movie producers want their stars to look as gorgeous as possible.
05:31But when we see perfect hair and makeup on screen after sex,
05:34we can't help but chuckle.
05:36While the man may be a little sweaty, the woman remains practically perfect.
05:40Her hair isn't frizzy or sticking in every direction,
05:42she doesn't have any sweat beads,
05:44and her makeup is in pristine condition without so much as some smudged lipstick.
05:49It's just a fact that after that much exercise,
05:52you won't look perfect getting out of bed.
05:55But it's a fact that movies just don't seem to want to acknowledge.
06:02Number 3. No mention of condoms.
06:06Only sailors use condoms, baby.
06:08Unless it's integral to the story,
06:10like Ben failing to put one on and knocked up,
06:12there's almost zero mention of condoms in the history of sex scenes.
06:17No one ever mentions having a condom,
06:19no one ever mentions putting one on,
06:21and no one ever takes one off after finishing.
06:23Despite condoms being a fairly important and integral aspect to having safer sex,
06:28especially with a stranger you just met at a sleazy nightclub,
06:31movies almost never mention them,
06:33and characters always seem to just jump right into the action without a second thought.
06:38God, just do it already.
06:40Okay.
06:42Number 2. Blankets are conveniently placed.
06:45Good thing I'm drunk. This is lasting forever.
06:48I just had sex with this guy, and now we're laying in bed.
06:52Better cover up my breasts so we can't see them.
06:54These are the apparent thoughts of every post-coital movie lady.
06:58This, of course, is the ever-present conveniently placed blanket trope,
07:02which sees that a cover, comforter, or other type of bedding covers nude body parts,
07:06or the act itself, so that viewers are unable to see anything too explicit.
07:11It's dumb, and if it were anything like real life,
07:14the blanket would be in a crumpled heap on the floor.
07:17Also see women who get out of bed after sex and immediately put on a bathrobe.
07:22I think it's high time we had another look.
07:28Before we unveil our number one pick, here are some honorable mentions.
07:31I can't feel anything.
07:44All right.
07:45Does that feel good?
07:46I still can't feel anything.
07:48Okay, because it hurts, mate.
07:50Number 1. Sex in the shower is enjoyable.
07:53I like you better without your burrata.
07:55In the movies, there's nothing more romantic or mood setting than shower sex.
08:00It's hot, literally, and it looks sensual as hell.
08:03Unfortunately, shower sex is probably the most annoying thing you can attempt with your partner in the real world.
08:09One of you will slip and hurt and or embarrass yourself.
08:12The height difference makes things difficult.
08:14One of you will be freezing cold.
08:16Water does not make the greatest lubricant.
08:18Having sex standing up is damn near impossible.
08:20Should we go on?
08:21Seriously, don't let the movies fool you.
08:24Shower sex is the worst.
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