- 6 months ago
When a young man decides he is fed up of being a loner, he yearns to feel more attractive. In his quest for love he purchases a pill that promises his attraction to others. However, he gets more than he bargains for when his safety becomes compromised by the mesmerizing effect he now has on women.
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Love. I mean as in romantic love. That's what we're going to study today, class.
00:00:29We're going to ask ourselves that age-old question, where exactly does love come from?
00:00:35Now most of us in this classroom have experienced some degree of love. At least I hope you have.
00:00:40But if not, I'm sure you've been exposed to the expressions of love in poems, songs, plays, books, movies, in celebrations, in tragedies, or passionate days.
00:00:56However, no matter what we've experienced, or how beautifully it's been described to us, like some mysterious force of the spirit, no one has ever explained what ignites those passionate flames of love.
00:01:09At least, they haven't explained it scientifically.
00:01:14Could it be a peculiar way our potential made walks or talks? Or maybe, just maybe.
00:01:30It has nothing to do with them at all.
00:01:40All I wanted was just a night with you, so don't keep me waiting.
00:01:52So if somehow, Cupid smiles upon us and shoots his arrow through our heart, we get the reward.
00:02:02One floor.
00:02:04One floor.
00:02:05And I really like the cozy war.
00:02:08The day was better on my battle floor.
00:02:11If you know what I mean now.
00:02:15True.
00:02:17You're feeling that like the new thing.
00:02:18Are you all my intentions?
00:02:19You're feeling very much.
00:02:20Three.
00:02:21As I know what I mean now.
00:02:22Chim chiner.
00:02:23You're feeling very much.
00:02:24You're feeling more beautiful.
00:02:25I'm feeling and exposed.
00:02:26You're feeling very much.
00:02:27Of course.
00:02:28Big Durchs.
00:02:29It's a couple.
00:02:30So you're feeling so.
00:02:31You're feeling so.
00:02:32It's a little bit.
00:02:33All I wanted was just a night with you.
00:02:34A night with you.
00:02:35Baby.
00:02:36All I wanted was just a night with you.
00:02:37So don't keep me waiting.
00:02:38You're feeling very much.
00:02:40Yeah.
00:02:41I wanted was just a night with you.
00:02:47But as we all know it's not every day that one falls in love or that special
00:03:07person falls in love with you, and please believe me, how well do I know that?
00:03:17Any questions?
00:03:18No.
00:03:19No.
00:03:20Shocking.
00:03:21All right folks, get out there and get that reward, cause that's what it's all about, right?
00:03:27And I will see you on Thursday, and Friday, and every day, cause I love you.
00:03:35Go get them.
00:03:36Professor, he's a little odd, don't you think?
00:03:39Who rhymes?
00:03:40He seems normal to talk about.
00:03:42I don't know.
00:03:43He's not very professional.
00:03:44Kinda goofy.
00:03:45You say goofy like that's a bad thing.
00:03:48I'm goofy.
00:03:49That's different.
00:03:50You're my boyfriend, not my professor.
00:03:53I mean, making fun of animals, having sex.
00:03:56Speaking of which, I want to go back to your place for some of that monkey love.
00:04:01Shut up.
00:04:03Miss Ellis.
00:04:04Yeah.
00:04:05Could I speak to you for a second please?
00:04:09Sure.
00:04:10You need to call me.
00:04:16I do, do I?
00:04:18Yeah, you do.
00:04:19Do you have a name?
00:04:20You'll learn everything about me tonight.
00:04:24Overdrinks, my place.
00:04:26Well, whoever you are, I'm sorry, but I'm already involved with somebody.
00:04:32Oh, of course.
00:04:33I'm sure you are involved with someone else, but that's only because you haven't been with
00:04:38me yet.
00:04:39I'll take that.
00:04:41Listen, .
00:04:42I don't know what you've been smoking, but I'll tell you right now, there's no way I'll
00:04:47ever hook up with you.
00:04:49I wouldn't be too sure about that.
00:04:51Ugh.
00:04:53Sorry about the ****, bro.
00:04:54Hey, man.
00:04:55She's all yours.
00:04:56What'd you need, Professor Grimes?
00:04:58Ooh.
00:04:59Please don't call me that.
00:05:00Professor Grimes.
00:05:01No, that puts way too much pressure on me to actually know a lot of stuff.
00:05:06Billy's fine.
00:05:07Okay, Billy.
00:05:08Uh, I see you submitted an application for teacher's assistant in this department.
00:05:20Aren't you a first-year?
00:05:21Yeah, I know it's a long shot in all being a first-year, but I thought I'd...
00:05:25No, no, no.
00:05:26That's okay.
00:05:27I, I was just recently transferred to this university myself, so technically I'm a first-year
00:05:31as well.
00:05:32And I like first-year assistants because they don't know enough to know that I don't know
00:05:37enough.
00:05:38Do you have a second?
00:05:39Can you talk to me in my office?
00:05:41Um.
00:05:42Just a second.
00:05:45Yeah, I, I, I have a minute.
00:05:48Come on.
00:05:50Okay, so that would basically make us both outsiders, which, uh, you know, could be a good thing,
00:05:58at least for my research.
00:06:00Considering it's primarily, uh, you know, thinking outside of the box, at least as far as
00:06:04the neurological community is concerned.
00:06:07What is it you're researching?
00:06:09Ah, that is information, uh, that is for me and my research team, which I hope to have
00:06:14you a part of soon.
00:06:16But before we can do that, I need to get your inoculation shots updated.
00:06:19Inoculation shots.
00:06:21Does your research have something to do with some new infection or, like, virus I should be worried about?
00:06:27Uh, not really.
00:06:28No, this is more like insurance stuff.
00:06:29Bureaucratic red tape.
00:06:30That sort of thing.
00:06:31You know, you have to have your health records updated.
00:06:32Right?
00:06:33TB, hepatitis, that sort of thing.
00:06:34Anyway, I want you to go down to the health clinic tomorrow morning.
00:06:35You better get there kind of early because it gets very crowded.
00:06:36Kids clamoring for free flu vaccines and, uh, you know, birth control pills, that sort
00:06:38of thing.
00:06:39Go ask for a guy named Miller, okay?
00:06:41He's gonna take you right to the front of the line.
00:07:00Who is Miller?
00:07:01Miller is my, uh, rather rotund assistant, heh.
00:07:06How many assistants do you have?
00:07:09Um, pretty much just Miller, yeah.
00:07:12But he's pretty advanced in his training,
00:07:14so I've got him handling most of the ugly stuff.
00:07:17Like giving out the shots?
00:07:20Yeah, like giving out the shots.
00:07:27You know, I know it would be a great opportunity
00:07:28to work with you, Professor.
00:07:31Really.
00:07:34But I would really have to know more about your research
00:07:36before I could commit.
00:07:39I'm sorry, but I've got to go.
00:07:46That's okay. I understand.
00:07:48I mean, committing on your spare time to a project
00:07:52that you know absolutely nothing about,
00:07:53I doubt I could do that either.
00:07:55But I will tell you this.
00:07:58This project is going to make this planet
00:08:00a much better place to live in.
00:08:01That's a promise.
00:08:03So in case you don't get any better offers or whatever,
00:08:07you take this.
00:08:07and call me.
00:08:12Call me, Salas.
00:08:26I'm just a little nervous about this, Sam.
00:08:28That's all I'm saying.
00:08:29Alan, no one forced you to accept my offer to move in.
00:08:32I know that.
00:08:34Then what are you whining about?
00:08:39I don't know.
00:08:40I...
00:08:40I've been in a really sweet living situation.
00:08:45I wouldn't call sleeping on a dorm room floor
00:08:47with three guys addicted to beer and video games
00:08:49because it was a really sweet living situation.
00:08:52Yeah, but it had its advantages.
00:08:56Oh, uh, advantages being what?
00:08:59Waking up next to them instead of waking up next to me?
00:09:02Well, of course not.
00:09:07All I'm saying is, you know,
00:09:08it allowed for us to have a place to go
00:09:10be by ourselves every now and then.
00:09:11That's all.
00:09:13Well, I'm sure your ex-room mates will let you visit.
00:09:16Sam,
00:09:20this just seems kind of rushed.
00:09:25That's all I'm saying.
00:09:26I mean, are we being rational about this?
00:09:28Are you 100% sure?
00:09:34100% sure about living with you full time?
00:09:38No.
00:09:39I'm not.
00:09:42Since when does love have to be rational?
00:09:44It'd be kind of boring, don't you think?
00:09:46Anyway,
00:09:47the point is,
00:09:49the point is,
00:09:52I am so deeply in love with you.
00:10:01And,
00:10:02this is so odd for me to say this to anybody,
00:10:05but,
00:10:06I'm just
00:10:08so incredibly immersed in
00:10:11your soul,
00:10:13your aura,
00:10:14your whatever,
00:10:15that when we're apart,
00:10:17it's like my world's a little darker,
00:10:22a little dimmer,
00:10:24a little more
00:10:25a little lonely.
00:10:33Really?
00:10:33you said you felt the same way about me,
00:10:40didn't you?
00:10:42Yeah, but damn,
00:10:43I didn't,
00:10:44I didn't put as cool as you just did.
00:10:46so,
00:10:47so,
00:10:49forget being 100% sure,
00:10:52and stop having these
00:10:53frat boy panic attacks,
00:10:55and grow up.
00:10:58And just enjoy us being together,
00:11:00while we are together,
00:11:01okay,
00:11:02okay?
00:11:10Okay.
00:11:11You know,
00:11:12who knows,
00:11:13I might get sick of your
00:11:15cologne,
00:11:16and throw your ass on the floor
00:11:17with your buddies.
00:11:19Really?
00:11:20And then you'll miss out
00:11:22on the best part
00:11:23of moving in with me.
00:11:24Oh yeah?
00:11:26Hmm,
00:11:26what's the best part
00:11:27of moving in with you?
00:11:29Well,
00:11:30why don't you take a guess,
00:11:32Margot?
00:11:35Mad monkey love?
00:11:38Good man,
00:11:40you just got an A.
00:11:40What?
00:11:51What do you mean what?
00:11:54Something's bothering you,
00:11:55what is it?
00:11:57How do you know
00:11:57something's bothering me?
00:12:00Because whenever
00:12:01something's bothering you,
00:12:02you just lie,
00:12:02they're looking at the ceiling.
00:12:04Really?
00:12:06Yeah,
00:12:07really.
00:12:08So you want to tell me?
00:12:10I got an offer today
00:12:14to be a teacher's assistant.
00:12:17Isn't that supposed
00:12:18to be a good thing?
00:12:18I mean,
00:12:19you've been hoping
00:12:20for that for your resume.
00:12:22Yeah,
00:12:22but
00:12:22it's with Professor Grimes.
00:12:26So what's wrong with that?
00:12:27He seems pretty cool.
00:12:29Not really.
00:12:32I don't know,
00:12:33there's something,
00:12:34something I don't trust
00:12:36about him.
00:12:38He gives me
00:12:39this weird vibe,
00:12:40like there's
00:12:41something else
00:12:42going on.
00:12:43Something,
00:12:44something not so nice.
00:12:49Well,
00:12:49maybe you're just
00:12:50scared of the unknown.
00:12:52I mean,
00:12:53do you always have to know
00:12:54100% what someone's
00:12:55motives are?
00:12:57I mean,
00:12:58everybody's got some
00:12:58kind of mystery to them.
00:13:02When did you get so deep?
00:13:05Oh,
00:13:06sorry,
00:13:06I know how you prefer
00:13:07your men dumb and all that.
00:13:08Yeah,
00:13:08I like them dumb
00:13:09and cute,
00:13:10so I guess
00:13:11we'll have two of them.
00:13:19Excuse me.
00:13:20Hello,
00:13:20excuse me.
00:13:21Excuse me.
00:13:23I don't believe this.
00:13:25I just,
00:13:25I just ran into this long
00:13:27line at the clinic
00:13:28and I have to meet
00:13:29Jeff in half an hour.
00:13:30Hey Erica!
00:13:32Come here.
00:13:33I'll take you.
00:13:36I'll call you back.
00:13:49How you doing?
00:13:51Can you please
00:13:52not talk to me?
00:13:53Oh,
00:13:57this shot is not
00:13:58administered in the arm.
00:14:00You've got to be
00:14:01kidding me.
00:14:02I don't kid
00:14:03when it comes to science.
00:14:05Well, listen,
00:14:05you are not
00:14:06putting that in my ass.
00:14:08I bet I'm the first guy
00:14:09you ever told that to.
00:14:12Check this picture out.
00:14:13This is what the virus
00:14:14is capable of doing
00:14:16to your genitalia
00:14:17and
00:14:17So turn around,
00:14:27drop your pants,
00:14:28bend over the table.
00:14:46Hi,
00:14:47do you know
00:14:48where I can find
00:14:48someone named
00:14:50Miller?
00:14:59Hi,
00:14:59are you Miller?
00:15:01That's me.
00:15:02Professor Grimes
00:15:03sent me.
00:15:05Oh yeah,
00:15:06you must be Sam.
00:15:07Yeah,
00:15:07he just called.
00:15:08He said you decided
00:15:09to be his assistant
00:15:09with me.
00:15:11Cool.
00:15:12Hey,
00:15:13can you give me a minute?
00:15:13I need to finish up
00:15:14in here first.
00:15:17Oh,
00:15:18we're not done yet.
00:15:20What?
00:15:21Just one more procedure.
00:15:23What?
00:15:23No way,
00:15:24my ass is on fire.
00:15:26Oh,
00:15:27we'll talk about that later.
00:15:28But this,
00:15:29it's for your nose.
00:15:30My nose?
00:15:31Sure you don't want me
00:15:45to take you back
00:15:46to the clinic?
00:15:47No,
00:15:47it's just a reaction
00:15:48to the inoculations.
00:15:50It'll pass.
00:15:52Is your arm still
00:15:52sore from the shot?
00:15:55That's not just my head,
00:15:57like around my sinuses.
00:15:59Your sinuses?
00:16:01Yeah,
00:16:01they gave me
00:16:02some kind of nasal spray.
00:16:04What for?
00:16:06I don't know.
00:16:08He said it was
00:16:09a new procedure.
00:16:12He was kind of creepy.
00:16:13I didn't really care.
00:16:14I just wanted
00:16:14to get out of there.
00:16:15You'll be okay.
00:16:21You sure?
00:16:22Mm-hmm.
00:16:22I'm here.
00:16:23I'm not leaving you.
00:16:24Promise?
00:16:25I promise.
00:16:31So when I didn't see you
00:16:32last week,
00:16:33I thought you'd probably
00:16:33change your mind
00:16:34or something.
00:16:35Oh,
00:16:35I was kind of sick.
00:16:37Nothing serious,
00:16:38are you?
00:16:39Not at all.
00:16:40I think it was
00:16:41a mild reaction
00:16:42to the nasal spray.
00:16:44Oh.
00:16:45Camacho?
00:16:48Wow.
00:16:49They're like the largest
00:16:50medical research company
00:16:51on the planet.
00:16:53Are you involved with them?
00:16:54Not officially.
00:16:56You know,
00:16:56they're always trying
00:16:56to get me caught up
00:16:57in their corporate BS,
00:16:58but don't worry
00:16:59about that right now.
00:17:00Before we get started,
00:17:01I just want to make sure
00:17:02we're clear on one thing.
00:17:03You know,
00:17:04whatever takes place
00:17:05here in the lab
00:17:05has to stay here in the lab.
00:17:07That's standard procedure,
00:17:08Professor.
00:17:10Billy.
00:17:12Billy.
00:17:13Thank you,
00:17:13good.
00:17:13I just want to make sure
00:17:14I'm the same thing.
00:17:15Angie.
00:17:21Wow.
00:17:22This is by the lab.
00:17:25Pretty different
00:17:26from the other ones
00:17:26on campus.
00:17:27It works.
00:17:28You know,
00:17:29it does its job.
00:17:31So,
00:17:33then I,
00:17:33how can I explain
00:17:34what I'm doing?
00:17:36My research concerns love
00:17:38and the scientific
00:17:40basis behind it.
00:17:42That's a lofty goal.
00:17:47Yes,
00:17:48it is.
00:17:49But I've always been
00:17:50interested in what it is
00:17:52that makes one person
00:17:54fall in love
00:17:54and the other person not.
00:17:56You know,
00:17:56that sort of thing.
00:17:57If you could figure that out,
00:17:59you'd be like
00:17:59the richest person
00:18:00in the world.
00:18:01It was that.
00:18:03But,
00:18:03you know,
00:18:05to tell you the truth,
00:18:07my relationships
00:18:07always end up
00:18:08kind of sad.
00:18:09You know,
00:18:10a little bit ugly.
00:18:11Pretty much like,
00:18:12uh,
00:18:13most of the people
00:18:13out there.
00:18:15And I just
00:18:16wanted to figure out,
00:18:19uh,
00:18:20what that is.
00:18:22You know,
00:18:22what is it
00:18:23that makes us
00:18:23choose one partner
00:18:24or what it is
00:18:27that chooses that
00:18:28for us.
00:18:30That'd be nice to know.
00:18:33Certainly would.
00:18:35What about you?
00:18:35Are you in a relationship?
00:18:38Yeah.
00:18:39I,
00:18:39I just started one.
00:18:42How's that going?
00:18:45Great.
00:18:47Just great?
00:18:48Great.
00:18:48Well,
00:18:53it's a,
00:18:54it's an
00:18:54incredibly
00:18:55fantastic relationship.
00:18:59You think it's
00:19:00going to remain
00:19:01incredibly fantastic
00:19:02forever?
00:19:05I don't know.
00:19:08Incredibly fantastic
00:19:09is a good start,
00:19:10don't you think?
00:19:12It certainly is.
00:19:14I wouldn't
00:19:15it be cool
00:19:15if it would remain
00:19:16incredibly fantastic.
00:19:18forever.
00:19:20Or at least
00:19:20as long as
00:19:21you choose it to be.
00:19:26Yeah,
00:19:27then,
00:19:27that would be
00:19:29pretty cool.
00:19:31That would be
00:19:31very cool.
00:19:43Okay.
00:19:44I gotta get to the
00:19:45library.
00:19:45I got some research
00:19:46to do,
00:19:46but why don't you
00:19:47make yourself
00:19:47acquainted?
00:19:48And if you're not
00:19:49here when I get back,
00:19:50I'll see you Friday.
00:19:51Friday.
00:19:51Friday.
00:20:07Tell me what's
00:20:08going on.
00:20:09Rather,
00:20:09what's not
00:20:10going on.
00:20:10I don't know.
00:20:11I don't know.
00:20:16I'm just
00:20:17not feeling it.
00:20:21It?
00:20:22You're not
00:20:23feeling it?
00:20:26What,
00:20:27our sex life
00:20:28gets some kind
00:20:28of demotion
00:20:29from
00:20:29mad monkey love
00:20:31to
00:20:31it?
00:20:32that's18889898989898989897121ζISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISIIISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISISIS
00:21:02However, in my case, I've been cold for a long time now.
00:21:06Even when I'm by myself, I tend to fall asleep during-
00:21:08Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, I don't need that image in my head right now.
00:21:11My bad.
00:21:13What about him?
00:21:19Your type?
00:21:21Well, he's tall, good looking, zero body fat.
00:21:27No, not my type at all.
00:21:30You see, the same rules apply in the world.
00:21:32Hotties like him hook up with other hotties, but non-hotties like me hook up with-
00:21:38Well, we hook up alone.
00:21:40Thomas, how many times have I told you about that oddier league stuff, man?
00:21:43You just gotta go for it.
00:21:45I always do.
00:21:45I know, and I did at the gym.
00:21:47I said hello, but he must have some kind of super-
00:21:52Just told me he was straight and walked away.
00:21:54So what, man?
00:21:55Play the odds.
00:21:57Ask every hot guy you meet and someone will say yes.
00:22:00Wait a minute.
00:22:01Why should I take advice on being confident from you?
00:22:04A guy who's stressing over a girl like some little schoolboy?
00:22:09I mean, just one night, Sam's not in the mood for
00:22:11all of a sudden having a panic attack.
00:22:13It wasn't that she was just not in the mood for sex.
00:22:15She didn't respond to anything that had to do with me.
00:22:18It was like I was this unwelcome guest or something.
00:22:21Is it that time of the month?
00:22:24No.
00:22:25Trust me, that's never an issue with her.
00:22:27I don't know.
00:22:28I just get this weird vibe like she's into someone else.
00:22:33Great.
00:22:34Now you're paranoid.
00:22:35Well, I mean, she has been spending a lot of time up with one of her professors with
00:22:41his research project.
00:22:42Dude, listen to me.
00:22:43You are totally falling apart here.
00:22:45And I think it's because for the first time in your life you've made a big commitment
00:22:49to one girl.
00:22:50And you're worried you've made a big mistake.
00:22:53Which leads to doubt.
00:22:54Which leads to suspicion that she's better or something.
00:23:00You think she is?
00:23:03Okay, before I lose all respect for you as a man, just do this.
00:23:08Girls are big in the whole nesting thing.
00:23:11So go home, clean the place up, fix her a nice dinner, and she'll be back tomorrow.
00:23:16I can't cook.
00:23:18Doesn't matter.
00:23:20It doesn't matter. Order takeout and say that you made it.
00:23:24The point is, is it's just a little bump in the relationship road and you've got to learn
00:23:28how to deal with it without getting paranoid.
00:23:30You know all about how relationships work because...
00:23:34I watch Oprah.
00:23:50It's just you and me, pal.
00:23:56I remember little things that you said
00:24:00Like baby we get along
00:24:04Better than my girlfriend
00:24:08I remember paying you no mind
00:24:14Said you two are doing fine, you're doing fine
00:24:19Yeah baby, yeah Erica
00:24:27Yeah
00:24:29It's a daddy, it's a daddy baby, yeah
00:24:33Oh yeah, oh yeah
00:24:37Right there, right there, oh yeah
00:24:41In the dark I'm reaching out for you
00:24:45You start to roll over
00:24:49And I feel you dream over
00:24:55I gave all my love to
00:24:57You were the one
00:24:59I shouldn't have one too
00:25:01You were the one
00:25:02Who made me hate myself
00:25:05Such a dark sweet hell
00:25:07You were the one
00:25:09I stayed up and fly for
00:25:11You were the one
00:25:13I can't be happy for you
00:25:15You were the one
00:25:17Hey
00:25:19Hey
00:25:21What's this?
00:25:23Just thought I'd get us a nice dinner
00:25:25This little thank you for asking me to move in and everything
00:25:29I'm sorry but you didn't tell me you had plans
00:25:33I'm sorry but you didn't tell me you had plans
00:25:38I'm sorry too you didn't tell me you were going to work late with your professor
00:25:43I don't think I like that tone Alan
00:25:46What tone is that?
00:25:48Childish, hostile, accusatory
00:25:51Let me know if I miss something
00:25:53You're right I am all those things right now
00:25:57My being that way fits the situation
00:26:01I have no dignity left
00:26:05Might as well ask you
00:26:07Are you messing around with your professor?
00:26:13If you're asking me whether I'm fucking him or not
00:26:18The answer is no
00:26:20How dare you confront me like some jealous teenage boyfriend
00:26:26That's what I am
00:26:28I mean I'm not some teenager but we live together Sam
00:26:31And jealousy feels rather appropriate
00:26:34I'm not talking
00:26:35Sam
00:26:36What?
00:26:37I don't particularly like all this drama but I gotta know straight out
00:26:40Are you even thinking about messing around with your professor?
00:26:49You know I don't like coming into my apartment and being
00:26:51Sam you didn't answer the question
00:26:53Now I need to know
00:26:55Are you messing around with your professor or not?
00:27:10You know you said you wanted me to move in here because you wanted to build this cool relationship
00:27:14I know
00:27:21Then what happened between you and him?
00:27:23I don't know what happened between us
00:27:27It's just when I'm around him I get this nice feeling
00:27:33So basically everything you said about us about me was just all bullshit
00:27:39No no I meant what I said about you I swear
00:27:43If you swear then how could you just go be with somebody else Sam?
00:27:47Do you want me to move out?
00:27:48Do you want me to move out?
00:27:49Do you want me to move out?
00:27:54Do you want me to move out?
00:27:57Do you want me to move out?
00:28:01I don't know you want me to stay.
00:28:08You want me to stay?
00:28:19Fuck me.
00:28:31Geez, I always thought that romantic dinner thing would actually work.
00:28:36I don't have to sue Oprah.
00:28:40Yeah, I don't get it, man.
00:28:42It doesn't make any sense to me, you know?
00:28:45It's like she said that she was so in love with me, so happy,
00:28:50making all these plans, talking about the future,
00:28:54and then one day she meets one of her professors and that's it.
00:28:57You know? We're no more.
00:29:00This is kind of sad, man.
00:29:02I mean, a confident ladies man like yourself falling apart like this?
00:29:07Maybe finally getting dumped by someone is some sort of
00:29:11karmic payback or something like that.
00:29:14No.
00:29:16I've been telling plenty of times, man, believe me.
00:29:19It's usually because I screwed up or the chick was psycho.
00:29:22But this...
00:29:25This is too bizarre, man.
00:29:30I mean, I was the perfect boyfriend.
00:29:34No way I could have read her wrong.
00:29:37And that she would dump me for one of her professors?
00:29:41A guy that weirded her out?
00:29:44I mean, she said there was something about him she didn't even trust.
00:29:53He doesn't matter.
00:29:55Whether you did right or wrong doesn't matter.
00:29:58What matters is she left.
00:30:02And you need to man up.
00:30:13Hey, Thomas.
00:30:15What do you want, Roger?
00:30:17Oh, nothing.
00:30:18I was just...
00:30:19I was passing by and I was wondering if you were busy.
00:30:22Or anything right now.
00:30:23Because I just thought I saw someone...
00:30:25A guy come in here and I was wondering if...
00:30:28You are such a s***!
00:30:34Wow, that was embarrassing.
00:30:36Sorry.
00:30:37What was his problem?
00:30:39When I first moved in here, I gave a housewarming party.
00:30:42Invited everyone from the computer department.
00:30:44I proceeded to get incredibly drunk and he and I ended up...
00:30:50You know.
00:30:52With him?
00:30:54He's right, you are a s***.
00:30:56Yeah.
00:30:57Me a s***.
00:30:58Me the thunk.
00:31:00Unfortunately, when I told him it was just a one night thing,
00:31:03he went psycho stalker, moved right across the hall where he can keep an eye on me.
00:31:08I hope you don't plan on going off on Sam like that.
00:31:15Don't lie, I'm so not like that.
00:31:24You know.
00:31:25Might not have anything to do with me or Sam.
00:31:28Might have something to do with that professor.
00:31:31Professor Grimes.
00:31:35Okay.
00:31:36You're beginning to scare me.
00:31:37Look, just do me a favor.
00:31:39Oh, no.
00:31:40Just use whatever magical computer powers you have and just check into him.
00:31:43I'm the professor.
00:31:44Oh, Alan, come on.
00:31:45Come on, just do me this one little favor, man, and if everything checks out...
00:31:49I'm so done with Sam.
00:31:52I find that hard to believe.
00:31:54Who knows?
00:31:56I'm like a s***.
00:31:57Great.
00:31:58More competition for the hot guys.
00:32:00So who are we to question what wants?
00:32:10What chemistry brings together?
00:32:11And isn't there some sort of natural order to things that we don't understand anyway?
00:32:16Nor do we need to understand.
00:32:22So I ask you, and I ask you, and I ask you, and I ask all of you, who are we to question what Mother Nature desires?
00:32:33And please believe me, folks, this world never suffered so much since us humans decided to come down from the trees and use our opposable thumbs to develop technology.
00:32:46Think about that.
00:32:49And we will discuss thumbs next week.
00:32:52I want you to read chapters 10 through 13 over the weekend.
00:32:56Keep the wheels spinning, folks.
00:32:58Okay?
00:32:59I had a good time today.
00:33:00I'll see you later.
00:33:06Sam.
00:33:08Alan.
00:33:10It's good to see you.
00:33:11How have you been?
00:33:12I'm okay considering a breakup and everything.
00:33:16You gonna be okay?
00:33:18Yeah, I'll be fine.
00:33:20I just wonder when I get the rest of my stuff.
00:33:23Anytime.
00:33:24Just call before you come.
00:33:26Why?
00:33:29You gonna have company?
00:33:33I really hope you get over this, Alan.
00:33:35How can you get over this so fast?
00:33:36You were the one that wanted us to get together and everything.
00:33:38I know that.
00:33:40Look, I'm really happy now.
00:33:42Isn't that important?
00:33:44No.
00:33:46I mean, I'm not happy.
00:33:49Sam, you ready?
00:33:53Really?
00:33:55This is Alan.
00:33:58Oh, hey.
00:34:00Sam has said some wonderful things about you.
00:34:04I guess I'll be too wonderful as soon as she dumped me for you.
00:34:12Okay.
00:34:14That's, uh...
00:34:16That's an uncomfortable moment.
00:34:18Um, I'm gonna let you two...
00:34:24Listen, uh...
00:34:26She's worried about you.
00:34:28Okay?
00:34:29Uh, quite frankly, so am I.
00:34:31You're worried about me?
00:34:33Ha!
00:34:34I'm fine.
00:34:35I should be worried about you too.
00:34:37Why would you be worried about us?
00:34:39Because you...
00:34:41Well, because...
00:34:42Well, we did...
00:34:43She was worried about you...
00:34:45She was worried about us to get over the way.
00:34:50I wanted her to go...
00:34:52Wow!
00:34:54It hasn't started yet.
00:34:58Hmm...
00:35:00It doesn't, though.
00:35:02Shhh!
00:35:04It doesn't...
00:35:06It's not...
00:35:10Why didn't you make other friends when you were growing up?
00:35:30Man, just one more night, I promise.
00:35:31Never again.
00:35:32Right, never again.
00:35:33Look, why don't I just give you an extra key for when you never do this again?
00:35:37You know, I had some time, so I actually did a search on your competition.
00:35:50Professor Love Rocket?
00:35:52Bang buddy?
00:35:53Bang buddy.
00:35:54Nice.
00:35:55Listen, it's kind of interesting.
00:35:56I found a lot of information about him as classified by chemotrope.
00:36:01Chemotrope?
00:36:02Whoa.
00:36:03Yeah, whoa.
00:36:05Whoa.
00:36:07Well, did you hack into it?
00:36:11Right, Alan.
00:36:12I'm gonna try and break into one of the biggest mess-secure computer networks in the world,
00:36:15risk being thrown in prison just so you can learn more about who's banging your ex-girlfriend.
00:36:21Did you break in or not?
00:36:22Yeah, of course I did.
00:36:26I mean, chemotrope recruits nerds out of my computer department.
00:36:33In fact, Mugi and Joe, a couple guys I used to party with, were hired to redesign chemotrope's
00:36:39whole security system.
00:36:40Mugi and Joe?
00:36:42Yeah, Mugi and Joe got hired by chemotrope based on the algorithms I came up with.
00:36:47So, if I can compromise their work and tell chemotrope about it, I'll get a little payback,
00:36:53it'll look good on a resume, and chemotrope might replace them with me.
00:36:58Yeah, that's great, but did you find out anything about the professor?
00:37:01Well, it's kind of interesting.
00:37:02Chemotrope's official website, there's just one mention of Grimes, but that link is heavily
00:37:07secured on the shadow network.
00:37:08So, when I probe deeper...
00:37:14Shit, are you gonna get in trouble?
00:37:16No way, I'm completely stout.
00:37:22Here it is.
00:37:23At his last job, there was this one incident with a female student, apparently caused quite
00:37:27a controversy.
00:37:28Wow.
00:37:29What?
00:37:30Wow, what?
00:37:31Got her pregnant and he killed her?
00:37:32What?
00:37:33They shut me out of the system.
00:37:34I've never been shut out of any system.
00:37:36Well, how are we gonna find out about this female student?
00:37:52I don't know.
00:37:54But I gotta admit, for totally egotistical reasons, I hate the thought that Mugi and Joe
00:37:59are developing any kind of system.
00:38:01I can't compromise, so...
00:38:06Take this modified thumb drive.
00:38:11It'll give us a backdoor connection to his data files.
00:38:13Just plug it into an empty port anywhere behind Grimes' computer, like this.
00:38:18What?
00:38:20Break into his office, are you kidding me?
00:38:22Look, if you're serious about finding out about this guy, then you gotta take some risks.
00:38:27With this, we can suck out every bit of information he has, okay?
00:38:31And...
00:38:36I programmed this card to open up pretty much every security door on campus.
00:38:39It should get you into his office.
00:38:44This pretty much makes me a stalker, doesn't it?
00:38:46Oh, this is well beyond stalking, my friend.
00:38:49You are totally pushing the envelope of psychotic behavior.
00:38:55Oh, go all the way, why go all right?
00:38:57Erica!
00:38:58Whoa!
00:38:59Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?
00:39:03It's about time!
00:39:04Erica, what the f***?
00:39:05Where have you been?
00:39:06Where the f*** have I been?
00:39:07Where the f*** have you been?
00:39:08Where the f*** have you been?
00:39:09Where the f*** have you been?
00:39:10Where the f*** have you been to ask me that question?
00:39:12You f***ing someone else, huh?
00:39:13Oh, listen, listen.
00:39:14You know what?
00:39:15You got the f***ing bad case of the crazies or something.
00:39:16You know that?
00:39:17Oh, f***ing ow!
00:39:18Ah!
00:39:19Oh, f***!
00:39:20Ah!
00:39:21Oh, f***!
00:39:22I got the f***, how the f*** have you been?
00:39:23Where the f*** have you been?
00:39:24Where the f*** have you been?
00:39:25Where the f*** have you been to ask me that question?
00:39:26You f***ing someone else, huh?
00:39:28Oh, listen, listen.
00:39:29You know what?
00:39:30You got the f***ing bad case of the crazies or something.
00:39:32You know that?
00:39:33Oh, f***!
00:39:34Oh!
00:39:48Let's go.
00:40:18You know what's weird? I definitely got a creep vibe from being around that professor.
00:40:23And I'm sure it has nothing to do with him banging your ex.
00:40:27There's other words besides banging?
00:40:29But they're not as colorful.
00:40:31You find anything?
00:40:33Nothing out of the ordinary.
00:40:35Kinda boring stuff.
00:40:37Lectures, homework assignments, something called Cupid's arrow.
00:40:42What? Let me see that.
00:40:45Wow, talk about information overload.
00:40:48Must be over a thousand files. Where do we start?
00:40:51I don't know.
00:40:54A lot of these files are cryptically encoded.
00:40:58Wow, looks like Moogie and Joe's programming.
00:41:01It would take a while to break it, I can tell you that.
00:41:04But...
00:41:06Looks like some of these files are open.
00:41:08Like these pictures.
00:41:10It's an animal's vomeronasal organ.
00:41:13We studied it in class.
00:41:14Grimes called it the Cupid's gland.
00:41:17It turns airborne pheromones into signals that trigger the sex drive.
00:41:21It's kinda like when a dog...
00:41:22When a dog's in heat. You know? That kind of thing.
00:41:25What?
00:41:29I just never pegged you as someone who could pay attention in class.
00:41:32Let alone retaining anything you'd hear.
00:41:34Thanks.
00:41:35Open that one. The one that says TRP2. The movie file.
00:41:42Pheromone receptor. TRP2.
00:41:45Ion channel gene. Clone from a gerbil.
00:41:48Oh my god, he's done it.
00:42:04Done what? What is all this?
00:42:08He's cloned Cupid's arrow.
00:42:11Grimes has hijacked a circuitry that causes people to fall in love.
00:42:17No way.
00:42:21According to this data, yes way.
00:42:28Sam.
00:42:30Search female subjects.
00:42:42Well this is kinda creepy.
00:42:44She's not there.
00:42:47Who?
00:42:48Sam. Why isn't she there?
00:42:53Wait, you think the nutty professor pumped your ex full of this love juice and that's what made her dump you and jump into bed with him?
00:43:01Yeah, I kinda think he did.
00:43:04You know, you chemistry majors are stranger than any computer geek I've ever known.
00:43:19I mean, we deal in intangibles.
00:43:22Like, internet , but you Dr. Frankensteins deal in weird, disturbing science fiction mutations and crap.
00:43:30What's your problem, Thomas? We need to figure out what's going on here.
00:43:33Oh I do know what's going on.
00:43:35An Uber corporation like Chemetrope is involved in weird, illegal experiments on human love glands.
00:43:43I mean, come on now, that's some f***ing f***ing for forgetting about Sam.
00:43:47Sam? You're talking about helping out your ex-girlfriend?
00:43:50Thomas, she might be in danger.
00:43:52The same ex-girlfriend is now f***ing your teacher?
00:43:54Is that the girl you want me to risk being erased by Kimotropes' private security?
00:43:59Uh-uh. You're on your own.
00:44:02What's wrong with you, man?
00:44:04I quit.
00:44:06Thomas!
00:44:13What?!
00:44:30Sam.
00:44:31Alan, what are you doing here?
00:44:33Look, I know it's really late. I know it seems weird. Can you just give me a second, please?
00:44:37Can we just- Sam?
00:44:38Don't ever-
00:44:39Okay, alright, alright, I'm sorry.
00:44:41Just- give me a second. Just hear me out, please.
00:44:44What?
00:44:46Grimes has been experimenting on pheromones.
00:44:50What is that?
00:44:51It's from his computer. It's his research.
00:44:54Alan, you- did you break into his computer?
00:44:56That's not the point, okay? He's gone off the f***ing deep end and he's been experimenting on humans.
00:44:59No, Alan, you've gone off the deep end by breaking into somebody's computer in a jealous rage.
00:45:03Okay, Sam, look. I think there's a good chance that he's experimented on you.
00:45:08You know, I think he's giving you some serum that's made you fall in love, or at least seem like you fell in love.
00:45:20Love potion, eh?
00:45:21You know, no offense, Sam, but if I did have such a- such a serum, I would have possibly shared it with the entire cheerleading squad.
00:45:30You know what I'm saying?
00:45:33Don't be inside.
00:45:35First thing tomorrow, I'm getting a restraining order against you.
00:45:40And if you ever bother me again, I will have you thrown into jail.
00:45:49Okay, how long ago?
00:45:52When- no, I'm here now.
00:45:54Okay? Just call me if- if you got any problems, just call me, okay?
00:46:01What's this thing about some bleach?
00:46:03I was in the middle of a massage.
00:46:06Not bleach, okay, genius?
00:46:08Breach.
00:46:09We got a little breach of security, so go down to your lab and wait for some help.
00:46:12W-what do you mean, help?
00:46:14I just spoke to some people who were gonna run a scan on their computers and check for leaks, so go to your lab.
00:46:18Now, tonight, I got someone waiting for me back in my crib.
00:46:24I don't care what you have waiting for you.
00:46:25If you want to keep banging chicks way above your tax bracket and gene pool, you're gonna do as I say.
00:46:30Go.
00:46:41Hold on.
00:46:45What?
00:46:46Hello, Thomas.
00:46:48Moogie?
00:46:49Joe?
00:46:50We need to talk.
00:46:52About what?
00:46:54Did you use one of these on Professor Grimes' computer?
00:46:59F*** you.
00:47:00Come on, Thomas, you gotta let us in!
00:47:02No, I don't!
00:47:03We work with Chematrope now.
00:47:05Oh, like I give a s***.
00:47:07Look, look.
00:47:08We just want to make a deal with you.
00:47:10A deal?
00:47:11Yeah, a deal.
00:47:13A really cool deal.
00:47:15Like what?
00:47:16Like you working for Chematrope.
00:47:17Like you working for Chematrope.
00:47:18Like you working for Chematrope.
00:47:19Oh, I'm sorry.
00:47:20No, no.
00:47:21Yeah.
00:47:22No, no.
00:47:23No, no, no.
00:47:30Oh, no.
00:47:31Oh, no, no.
00:47:32Excuse me, is Dean Jeffries in?
00:47:47Yes, but he's in a meeting.
00:47:49Do you have an appointment?
00:47:57Sir, excuse me, young man.
00:47:59Dean, do you have a moment?
00:48:00I'm sorry, Dean.
00:48:01He just ran in here.
00:48:02It's okay, Nora.
00:48:03I can take care of this.
00:48:04You sure?
00:48:06Absolutely.
00:48:07Hold my calls for a little while.
00:48:10Thanks, Dean.
00:48:11I really appreciate you seeing me.
00:48:12I know it seems kind of weird.
00:48:15Yeah, it's kind of weird.
00:48:17But it seems urgent, so what's up?
00:48:20Well, I think Professor Grimes has been conducting experiments
00:48:27on unsuspecting subjects, like students.
00:48:31Alan, I'm concerned about you.
00:48:40Concerned about me?
00:48:42I've been receiving reports all morning about your behavior.
00:48:46My behavior?
00:48:47My behavior?
00:48:48From who?
00:48:50Well, Professor Grimes.
00:48:52He just filed a complaint that you broke into his computer,
00:48:57which is not only a violation of university policy,
00:49:01but the law as well.
00:49:03No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:49:05Okay.
00:49:06He's upset because I found him out, okay?
00:49:07I've discovered what he's been up to.
00:49:09I've just received a phone call from a Thomas Floyd.
00:49:12A friend, right?
00:49:14Thomas, yeah, he's a friend.
00:49:16Well, Mr. Floyd informed me you came to him,
00:49:20and in retaliation for the professor having an affair with your ex-girlfriend,
00:49:24you asked him to help you fabricate and plant information
00:49:30about fictitious experiments on Professor Grimes' computer.
00:49:34That's b******, okay?
00:49:36Thomas would never lie about me, all right?
00:49:38A faculty member fraternizing with a student is against university policy,
00:49:43and Professor Grimes will be dealt with on this matter.
00:49:47But your actions are more severe.
00:49:55So I'm deciding what's in the best interest of the university
00:49:58and your best interest.
00:50:00And, you know, perhaps that's treatment.
00:50:08Treatment?
00:50:09Are you kidding me?
00:50:11Alan, wait.
00:50:11Don't leave.
00:50:19Maybe he left campus.
00:50:20No, he's got to be around here somewhere.
00:50:22Ladies?
00:50:25Let's go check out the science building.
00:50:26All right.
00:50:27I'll call it in.
00:50:28Cool.
00:50:28Did that girl have a Jamaican accent?
00:50:30She's definitely had a Jamaican boobie.
00:50:31It's fine.
00:50:33Hey, I'm the way over.
00:50:34Can you give some balls?
00:50:38Excuse me.
00:50:40Yeah?
00:50:41What's with all the cops?
00:50:43The campus is in lockdown.
00:50:45Something about some psycho guy with a gun stalking his ex-girlfriend.
00:50:50Well, that doesn't sound too good.
00:50:51Good.
00:50:51Good.
00:51:00What's with you?
00:51:22Damn, Alan, you scared the s*** out of me.
00:51:39I'm sorry, man.
00:51:40Just things have gotten a little weird out there for me.
00:51:43Oh, really?
00:51:45Yeah.
00:51:46I'm going to tell you about it, but I got to use the bathroom, bro.
00:51:48It's occupied.
00:51:52Uh, what'd you want, anyway?
00:52:00I don't know.
00:52:01I just need a place to chill.
00:52:03You know, it seems like everybody's turned on me.
00:52:06Is that right?
00:52:07Yeah.
00:52:08And Dean Jeffrey said that I made you plant evidence in Grimes' computer.
00:52:16Alan, you need to leave.
00:52:22Thomas, did you rat me out or something?
00:52:25I mean it.
00:52:25You got to go.
00:52:28You did.
00:52:30Just get out.
00:52:32Why, Thomas?
00:52:33Did they threaten you?
00:52:35I mean, just tell me.
00:52:35Alan, leave her.
00:52:36I'm calling security.
00:52:38You okay, Thomas?
00:52:39You say the word, don't kick his ass.
00:52:49No, Tony.
00:52:50It's okay.
00:52:52He's leaving.
00:52:55My God.
00:52:57This is your price, Thomas?
00:52:58This is what it takes for you to sell your best friend out.
00:53:06Man, how many times in a grown-up did I save your ass from getting kings?
00:53:09I gotta warn you, pal.
00:53:11You should leave all your kings, because if not, you're going to regret it.
00:53:15I'm not gonna warn you.
00:53:16Once whatever Thomas gave you wears off, you're gonna regretting that shit, fucking stuff, pal.
00:53:20I always had your back, man.
00:53:32I'm sorry.
00:53:40You're missing one elbow party in there, man.
00:53:50We're in the dormitory now.
00:53:52Excuse me.
00:53:53Did you see a white rail coming from here?
00:53:57About your height, 5'10".
00:53:59I'm wearing a brown t-shirt.
00:54:01No.
00:54:18Sorry about that, Roger.
00:54:20How'd you know my name?
00:54:25What did that **** Thomas say about me?
00:54:27Not much, really.
00:54:30Don't **** Alan.
00:54:32What did he say?
00:54:34How do you know my name?
00:54:39Your face is all over the campus website.
00:54:48Armed and dangerous?
00:54:49Where'd they get that?
00:54:51Yeah, don't worry.
00:54:53You know, they said the same thing about me in my last school?
00:54:56That's why I had to change my identity to come to this university.
00:55:01You're a computer major, right?
00:55:04Yeah, well, I was.
00:55:06Until those jealous **** kicked me out,
00:55:09because I had more computer skills than **** than they had in their whole **** part.
00:55:13Wait a minute.
00:55:14You didn't tell me what that **** said.
00:55:15Answer me.
00:55:17Well, if I did tell you what he said, he kicked my ass just on principle.
00:55:21So, no.
00:55:23Yeah, I probably would.
00:55:24So, what'd he say?
00:55:31Well, to put it bluntly, he said you're a neurotic ****, and you're horrible in bed.
00:55:39Horrible in bed?
00:55:47How would he know he was passed out most of the time?
00:55:57Hey, man.
00:55:58I'm just telling you what he said.
00:56:00I'll kill that ****.
00:56:07You know, you kind of screwed me over, too.
00:56:11Really?
00:56:15Did you sleep with him?
00:56:18No.
00:56:20No, man.
00:56:21It's a personal thing.
00:56:24But I think there's a way
00:56:25we both
00:56:26can get some revenge.
00:56:29Revenge is good.
00:56:35I'm so in.
00:56:41What's on this?
00:56:43It contains incriminating information
00:56:45about Thomas' work with Professor Grimes.
00:56:47I can't decipher it.
00:56:48It's all in code, and it's impossible to break.
00:56:51There ain't nothing that Thomas can do
00:56:53that I can't undo.
00:56:57There it is.
00:56:58How's that for neurotic?
00:57:00B***h.
00:57:10Can you search by name?
00:57:12Yeah, whatever you want.
00:57:14Sam.
00:57:16Samantha Ellis.
00:57:17Oh, that's weird.
00:57:26There's no documents or video clips?
00:57:29Nothing?
00:57:30No.
00:57:31Let me see.
00:57:34No.
00:57:34I don't think so.
00:57:35Not that I can see.
00:57:36Nothing.
00:57:36Okay.
00:57:39Okay.
00:57:42Search
00:57:43Cupid's arrow
00:57:47side effects.
00:57:49Jesus Christ.
00:58:00What?
00:58:01Well, the detrimental side effects
00:58:03includes depression, paranoia,
00:58:05leading to...
00:58:06S***ing behavior.
00:58:17Okay.
00:58:17Search female student romantic relationship.
00:58:20Okay.
00:58:21Search female student romantic relationship.
00:58:24Yes.
00:58:35Wait a minute.
00:58:36Thomas took these?
00:58:37He's so not into s***.
00:58:38These aren't his, they belong to Professor Grimes.
00:58:42Oh yeah, that guy's a total perv.
00:58:45I mean, all professors are, but.
00:58:46Okay, search female student, romantic relationship.
00:58:53Let's see, behavior.
00:59:03Here we go.
00:59:08Regina Hagerty, freshman, age 19, committed s**t, just last year.
00:59:29Okay, um.
00:59:36What the hell is going on?
00:59:38Grimes developed this drug that controls who people fall in love with, and I'm convinced
00:59:49to give it to my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend.
00:59:55A love potion?
00:59:58I'm wasting my time over a love potion?
01:00:01No, your girlfriend found someone that she likes to f**k more than you, and you're jealous.
01:00:05No.
01:00:06Don't go there.
01:00:07I'm not jealous.
01:00:08This isn't about revenge or anything like that.
01:00:12I'm just worried about the dangers you might be in with these, these side effects.
01:00:19I'm sorry.
01:00:20I'm sorry.
01:00:21What are you gonna do?
01:00:26What can I do?
01:00:29I can't go anywhere.
01:00:30I can't go warn her.
01:00:31The cops are outside looking for me.
01:00:36Okay, I think I know somebody who can help us, and I think I got a way to get you across
01:00:48campus undetected.
01:00:49You're not gonna like it.
01:00:53What plan is that?
01:00:55You know you're kinda creepy, right?
01:01:07Yeah.
01:01:08Come on.
01:01:09No.
01:01:10Come on.
01:01:11No, man.
01:01:12Goddammit.
01:01:13Get out here.
01:01:14This is never gonna work.
01:01:15Looking like a cracked out s**t.
01:01:16Stop it.
01:01:17You look great.
01:01:18There.
01:01:19Are you sure your friends can help me, man?
01:01:20Honestly, I have no idea.
01:01:21But do you have any better options?
01:01:22No?
01:01:23Then let's go.
01:01:24This is so cool.
01:01:25Grimes has taken our barely functional feral receptor system and supercharged it by replacing
01:01:31a missing piece here and mapping up something there.
01:01:35And he didn't just create any old feral receptor.
01:01:38He's gonna get a good idea.
01:01:40No?
01:01:41No.
01:01:42No.
01:01:43No.
01:01:44No.
01:01:45No.
01:01:46No.
01:01:47No.
01:01:48No.
01:01:49No.
01:01:50No.
01:01:51No.
01:01:52No.
01:01:53No.
01:01:54No, this one's designed to react to a specific pheromone.
01:01:56But a specific pheromone only worn by professor Grimes.
01:02:00We're gonna get so many girls.
01:02:04Look, I don't care how many girls you guys get.
01:02:06What's important is helping my friend Sam.
01:02:08You serious about these morons?
01:02:09Morons.
01:02:10What the?
01:02:11Whoa!
01:02:12Whoa!
01:02:13Whoa!
01:02:14Gentlemen, would you care to educate this fool?
01:02:19We're even weak, chump.
01:02:20We're the youngest and smartest of our class.
01:02:22class and already turned down office one of the world's largest pharmaceutical companies.
01:02:26So you got anyone more qualified to help her with this? Go ahead and waste their time.
01:02:32Okay, okay. Look, I'm sorry. I just need you to help her, that's all.
01:02:38Well, what you want us to do is not that simple. You see,
01:02:41Grimes is causing her brain to release dopamine into her system.
01:02:44And that's a fatal flaw in his research. He's unable to control the artificial
01:02:48flood of dopamine. So like what happened to the other girl, the dopamine will slowly increase
01:02:53into her brain. More what the brain can handle. So her brain begins to overheat and overload itself
01:02:58with crazy thoughts and agitated paranoia sets in. Agitated paranoia? Cool term. Agitated paranoia
01:03:05sets in and she'll go postal. Only way to relief from her madness.
01:03:13So what do we have to do? Well, you guys don't have to do squat.
01:03:18Yeah. What we have to do is really not that simple.
01:03:24We have to plug that dopamine pipeline into her brain, but we gotta do it safely.
01:03:30What do you mean safely? Safely? I mean we deal with a brain stem which controls vital functions.
01:03:37Like breathing? Hello. One mistake, one oops, and your girlfriend's an instant organ donor. Oops?
01:03:45What do they mean by oops? Alan, don't worry. These guys are the best chemists at the university.
01:03:51In the world. In the universe.
01:04:01Hey Sam. Alan, why are you dressed like that?
01:04:04Oh, this? It's a disguise. I don't know if you heard or not, but I'm, uh, I'm the new America's
01:04:11most wanted. Did you break into my apartment? Well, not technically. I, uh, I used the keys that you
01:04:17gave me. Get out. Sam, listen to me. Not only am I going to call the cops, but I'm going to pay them to
01:04:22beat the out of you. Look at these, Sam. Grimes has experimented on other girls. Look, look, look.
01:04:29Here. From his last teaching job, here. Regina, a student like you, who he was involved with,
01:04:35like you, who eventually committed . I'm worried about you.
01:04:40Yeah, Billy told me about her. She was unstable. Yeah, she was unstable because of his experiments.
01:04:44Look, here's the proof. These are his research papers. Look. He infected her without her knowledge.
01:04:49Which led to her depression and vengeful . Probably aren't even his documents.
01:04:53What? Billy's been worried that one of his interns,
01:04:58Miller, was using his computer to store information. Those are probably his.
01:05:03Sam, listen to you. It's like Grimes is this mad cult scientist leader and you're, you're one of his-
01:05:10Hey! I told you to never lay a hand on me. Hey genius! Who are you?
01:05:16You want to go ahead and use the chloroform or do I have to watch the lady kick your ass all night?
01:05:29Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Enough!
01:05:33Use too much of that shit, it'll get into her liver where it'll metabolize into a phos gene.
01:05:38You know, they used that chemical weapon in World War One.
01:05:45I know things.
01:05:54You son of a , don't you ever cheat on me! I will kill you!
01:05:59What's her problem? Hold it right there.
01:06:06What the hell's going on here?
01:06:09Well, we just came from a costume party in our, uh, our friend here.
01:06:12She just had too much to drink. We're just taking her home.
01:06:15Are you sure you're not taking her somewhere to assault her?
01:06:17Oh, please.
01:06:20You really think she's our type?
01:06:21Yeah, well, uh, just make sure you get her home safely, okay?
01:06:32And next time, tell her to watch her alcohol intake.
01:06:35Will do, officer.
01:06:37Oh, and, uh, nice legs, man.
01:06:41Thanks.
01:06:42That's your type, baby.
01:06:44That's all you.
01:06:47You ever kiss me again, I'll rip your heart out.
01:06:49Don't worry, your pheromones taste like s**t.
01:06:56All we have is do is take Brian's special pheromone,
01:06:58and link that to ricin toxin, bada bing, bada boom.
01:07:01Easier than mix of Long Island iced tea.
01:07:04Yeah, but have you ever done that before?
01:07:06Yeah, just Saturday night, the ladies love my Long Island.
01:07:10No, I'm talking about the bottle of toxin you're about to shove up her nose.
01:07:13Are you qualified?
01:07:13Alan, we just drugged and kidnapped your ex-girlfriend.
01:07:20If we stop now, we're going to jail.
01:07:22She's eventually going to blow her brains out, okay?
01:07:25Now, if we let them try this, we might not go to jail,
01:07:29and she might not blow her brains out.
01:07:31Is that supposed to make me feel better?
01:07:35Yeah.
01:07:35How long would you do that?
01:08:01How long will it take?
01:08:06I'm not sure.
01:08:08Now do we know if it works?
01:08:11I mean, how do we know if she's no longer under her spell?
01:08:16The only way to find out if someone's still attracting someone
01:08:19is to put both of them together and see what happens.
01:08:31Hey, Professor. I didn't think you were going to come, man.
01:08:52Why wouldn't I?
01:08:54I didn't figure out the courage to answer for your diabolical experiments, man.
01:08:59You make me sound like I'm some crazy scientist in some cheesy sci-fi movie.
01:09:08But isn't that what you are?
01:09:12Where's Sam?
01:09:14Over there, in the basement.
01:09:22You brought the police?
01:09:24Smart move, Grimes. You really want the world learning of your experiments, man?
01:09:28What makes you think they're the police?
01:09:33Oh.
01:09:36Take care of this.
01:09:58You okay, Alan?
01:10:03Yeah, I think so.
01:10:07Too bad.
01:10:10Hey.
01:10:11What's going on, man?
01:10:23What's going on, man?
01:10:24We're in a fucking cage. That's what's going on, man.
01:10:27We never signed up for this when we agreed to help you.
01:10:29Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
01:10:30You injected an experimental drug into an unconscious girl without her previous consent,
01:10:34and you act like you did nothing wrong?
01:10:35No. We do tons of stuff wrong.
01:10:37But we're smart enough to never get caught.
01:10:38Okay, guys, what are we going to do? Can we please focus on that?
01:10:39Do you have any bright ideas?
01:10:41I don't know. Where are we?
01:10:43We're in a cage, dumbass.
01:10:44I know that, but where is this cage? Are we still on campus?
01:10:46Well, we tell you about to put a hood over our head when they grabbed us.
01:10:49Where's Sam?
01:10:50Where's Sam?
01:10:51Where's Sam?
01:10:52Where's Sam?
01:10:53Where's Sam?
01:10:54Where's Sam?
01:10:55Where's Sam?
01:10:56Where's Sam?
01:10:57No, we do tons of stuff wrong.
01:10:58But we're smart enough to never get caught.
01:10:59Okay, guys, what are we going to do? Can we please focus on that?
01:11:02Do you have any bright ideas?
01:11:04I don't know. Where are we?
01:11:06We're in a cage, dumbass.
01:11:07I know that, but where is this cage? Are we still on campus?
01:11:09Well, we tell you about to put a hood over our head when they grabbed us.
01:11:14Where's Sam?
01:11:17I'm sorry, man. Those guys had guns, okay? They had...
01:11:32Wait a minute. Those guys had guns.
01:11:34Yeah?
01:11:35So?
01:11:36So, if we can overpa...
01:11:39If we can overpower one of the guards and get their guns...
01:11:46We can shoot our way out of here.
01:11:49Roger, you lost your fucking mind, man. We're all gonna...
01:11:52I'm down with that.
01:11:53Hell yeah. This show was...
01:11:55What's wrong?
01:12:04Hello? Somebody? We need your help, please. My friend is really sick. Please. Somebody, come on, please.
01:12:10Oh, thank you so much. Thank you.
01:12:12I'm sorry, my friend. He's right there. He's just really sick.
01:12:15If you think I'm s***ing enough to fall for that s***, I'll blow your s***ing skull apart just for insulting.
01:12:21Hey, Alan.
01:12:31Where's Sam?
01:12:36Trust me. I'm working on that.
01:12:40Roger, did you decipher Grimes' cryptic files in, what, a second?
01:12:49I don't know what you're talking about.
01:12:51We went through your room and found all your deciphering equipment.
01:12:57Pretty impressive.
01:13:01Derek, Darren, you two have been keeping busy.
01:13:04There isn't one research project the two of you have ever been involved in that would be considered even remotely legal.
01:13:12Sir, you are mistaken. You must be confused with someone else.
01:13:16Impressive work, gentlemen.
01:13:19Thomas, where's Sam?
01:13:22Let's go get her.
01:13:24Uh, I'm sorry. Uh, what the hell?
01:13:53They do in here.
01:13:55Chemitrope requested it.
01:13:57Since when have you become so tight with Chemitrope?
01:14:00Well, since I convinced them they could run their research department a lot more efficiently than they're currently doing.
01:14:06So, what are you implying?
01:14:08I'm implying I found out how much you've gone over budget on this Cupid's Arrow project,
01:14:13and how it might have caused a girl suicide, and possibly an ugly publicity nightmare for the company.
01:14:19So what?
01:14:20My company's made a killing on spinning bad press.
01:14:24Well, probably so.
01:14:26But they're also concerned about the profitability of what research they're covering up,
01:14:30and yours is looking like a bad investment.
01:14:33Now, whoa.
01:14:34Well, my work and research is coming along fine.
01:14:37In fact, it's progressing right on schedule.
01:14:39Is it?
01:14:40You sure your research hasn't hit a wall?
01:14:42I mean, it has according to my friends. Isn't that right, gentlemen?
01:14:46Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
01:14:48In fact, Professor, it's the twins that came up with the missing element that corrected the flaws in your research.
01:14:53They developed a way to control the side effects as well as a way to turn off Cupid's Arrow.
01:14:58And figure it out in seconds.
01:15:00Even faster than that.
01:15:01Exactly.
01:15:02And if they did overcome their problems in your research, then Chematrope would be interested in meeting them.
01:15:07Yeah, that's ridiculous, okay?
01:15:09There's no proof they understood or even comprehended my research, let alone manipulated it.
01:15:13All right.
01:15:14You want the proof?
01:15:15I'll show you the proof.
01:15:17We'll just ask her.
01:15:18We'll ask her how she feels.
01:15:19Really?
01:15:20Sam.
01:15:21Sam, wake up.
01:15:22Sam.
01:15:23Sam.
01:15:24Sam.
01:15:25Sam, wake up.
01:15:26Sam.
01:15:27How do you feel?
01:15:33Sam. Sam, wake up.
01:15:37Sam.
01:15:49How do you feel?
01:15:53My head hurts. Your cologne isn't helping either.
01:15:57Sam.
01:16:05Do you love me?
01:16:09Ellen.
01:16:13I already told you I found somebody else.
01:16:17I know you found somebody else, but did you really find somebody that could replace me?
01:16:21Somebody that makes you feel the way I make you feel?
01:16:25I'm sorry, kid.
01:16:45Hey, that's disgusting, okay? Clearly she's still a little drugged up from whatever the hell you injected her with.
01:16:51Sam.
01:16:53I'm sorry, okay? It's gonna be alright.
01:16:57I'll take care of you.
01:16:59I'll take care of you.
01:17:01I'll take care of you.
01:17:07Oh, ah!
01:17:09Sorry.
01:17:11Kissing you just sort of makes me nauseous.
01:17:13Sorry. Kissing you just sort of makes me nauseous.
01:17:30You know, Professor, it's not nice to mess with Mother Nature.
01:17:34You know what? Mother Nature.
01:17:36Okay, what is that bitch about love?
01:17:39Jesus Christ. For, for, since the beginning of time,
01:17:42she's been bringing together couples that have no business being together.
01:17:46Yeah, that's right. People who just drive each other nuts
01:17:50and who make each other's lives miserable.
01:17:53All I'm trying to do, for God's sakes,
01:17:56is bring a little order to romance people.
01:17:59Is that so wrong? Huh?
01:18:02A little rational thought to the people that we want to spend the rest of our lives with?
01:18:07Rational thought in love?
01:18:11Sounds kind of boring to me, Professor.
01:18:15Yeah. Boring to you, I'm sure it is.
01:18:25Well, I don't know. It was like this overwhelming craving for him.
01:18:32Well, I've got to tell you, it kind of hurt me a little bit.
01:18:36All it took was a drug for you to fall in love with someone else.
01:18:41You could look at it like that.
01:18:43Or, you could look at it like, I would have to start taking drugs to fall in love with someone else.
01:18:49Hey, Alan.
01:18:53Can I bother you for a second?
01:18:59Be right back.
01:19:07How's your secret chemotrope society doing?
01:19:09You make it sound like a bad thing.
01:19:12Yeah, but how'd you get away with it?
01:19:14I mean, how'd you keep all the witnesses quiet?
01:19:17It was easy.
01:19:18We hired them.
01:19:26And what about Roger?
01:19:27I ate your guts.
01:19:39Well, that makes sense.
01:19:42Alan, I'm...
01:19:46I'm sorry I sold you out.
01:19:47I guess I had a momentary lapse of priorities.
01:19:57Believe me, I've never forgotten you've always had my back.
01:20:02You have to know that I'll always have yours.
01:20:07Okay?
01:20:17What was that all about?
01:20:24It's nothing.
01:20:25Just, uh, two friends talking.
01:20:30You know, with everything that's going on, I've been meaning to ask you something.
01:20:36How exactly did you fall in love with me in the first place?
01:20:42Alan, does it really matter why?
01:20:45Remember from class?
01:20:48Love is an irrational, primitive thing.
01:20:52Don't try to figure it out.
01:20:54Just enjoy it.
01:20:58What's D?
01:21:01That's love.
01:21:14So don't you believe it?
01:21:15Oh...
01:21:17It's just a real time.
01:21:19Just stay
01:21:44We both know you want a little taste
01:21:48And I just don't have the time to waste
01:21:51On subtlety, baby
01:21:54True
01:21:56I'll stay if you ask me to
01:22:01I'm not gonna lie to you
01:22:04I really need a night with you
01:22:08Yeah
01:22:09All I wanted was just a night with you
01:22:14A night with you, baby
01:22:16All I wanted was just a night with you
01:22:21So don't keep me waiting
01:22:23All I wanted was just a night with you
01:22:27A night with you, baby
01:22:29All I wanted was just a night with you
01:22:34So don't keep me waiting
01:22:36Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't keep me waiting
01:22:43One floor
01:22:50And I really like the cozy war
01:22:54But they look better on my bathroom floor
01:22:58If you know what I mean now
01:23:01True
01:23:03I'll stay if you ask me to
01:23:08I'm not gonna lie to you
01:23:11All I wanted was just a night with you
01:23:14All I wanted was just a night with you
01:23:16A night with you
01:23:17So don't keep me waiting
01:23:20All I wanted was just a night with you
01:23:22A night with you, baby
01:23:24All I wanted was just a night with you
01:23:26So don't keep me waiting
01:23:28All I wanted was just a night with you
01:23:30So don't keep me waiting
01:23:32All I wanted was just a night with you
01:23:34A night with you, baby
01:23:36All I wanted was just a night with you
01:23:38All I want is one's just a night with you
01:23:44So don't keep me waiting
01:23:46Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't keep me waiting
01:23:52Don't keep me, don't, don't keep me waiting
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