- 6 weeks ago
D3ath Race 2000 (1975) is a cult classic action satire produced by Roger Corman and directed by Paul Bartel. Set in a futuristic society, the story follows drivers competing in a cross-country race filled with outrageous characters, wild vehicles, and dark humor. Starring David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone, this 1970s favorite blends action, comedy, and social commentary, earning its place as one of the most iconic cult films of its era.
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00:00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:01:30And sports fans everywhere.
00:01:34Today we inaugurate the 20th annual transcontinental road race.
00:01:39Today the five bravest young men and women in this bravest of nations
00:01:46will risk their lives in the greatest sporting event since the day the Spartacus.
00:01:52Three days hence a new American champion will be crowned for all the world to behold in awe,
00:02:02in respect, in fear.
00:02:04All right, all right.
00:02:07This is Junior Bruce, your buddy, buddy, and mine.
00:02:11And I'll be giving you the blow-by-blow, play-by-play,
00:02:14when the kings and queens of the open road roar onto the track.
00:02:19Do I hear the sound of engines?
00:02:21It's Calamity Jane Kelly, queen of the road, at the wheel of that mean old ornery stud boy.
00:02:28Danie Janey, winner of this year's trials at Watkins Glen, placed second in 1998,
00:02:38and led in last year's second lap until she went out with gear trouble.
00:02:42Her fans and lovers everywhere wish Janey better luck this year.
00:02:47My fans can wish me all the luck they want.
00:02:50If my luck with my lovers gets any better, I'll miss the race completely.
00:02:53Isn't that right, Pete?
00:02:56At the start of the race, only a heartthrob away,
00:02:59this is Grace Pander on the spot, as usual,
00:03:03to welcome the greatest racer of all time and a very dear friend of mine.
00:03:09Yes, in just a moment, he will be coming through the doors.
00:03:17There is no cause for alarm.
00:03:23The patient has been flown in from abroad in a state of suspended animation
00:03:26in order to facilitate the healing of his recent limb transplants.
00:03:31He should be coming around any moment now.
00:03:37Oh, I don't believe it.
00:03:39Frankenstein, can you give me an exclusive?
00:03:49How are things abroad?
00:03:50How is Mr. President?
00:03:52Is he still in Moscow?
00:03:54Mr. President is in his summer palace in Peking.
00:04:00He loves everybody.
00:04:02And everybody loves him.
00:04:04We are him!
00:04:06Here she is, that adorable swastika sweetheart,
00:04:11Matilda the Hun from Milwaukee,
00:04:14and her lovable Nazi navigator,
00:04:17Herman the German Fox.
00:04:29Matilda, Herman,
00:04:30do you think this is your turn
00:04:32to be first and foremost in sunny California?
00:04:35Today, California.
00:04:37Tomorrow in the world.
00:04:38Hiya, Herman.
00:04:41I hope your buzz bomb has a little more juice
00:04:44in its warhead this year.
00:04:49Whoever named your car the bull
00:04:52was only half right.
00:04:55Frankenstein, will Mr. President fly in
00:04:57to crown the winner of the race?
00:04:59Yes.
00:04:59Is it true that with your new mechanical arm,
00:05:02you can shift gears in less than a twentieth of a second?
00:05:05Would you care to comment on that?
00:05:07No.
00:05:08How do you feel about going into the race
00:05:10with a navigator you've never met?
00:05:12You'll love Annie.
00:05:13She's a red-hot sexpot.
00:05:15She better be a red-hot navigator.
00:05:17No more questions.
00:05:22It's the lion.
00:05:23And at the wheel,
00:05:25Ray Nero the hero Lodigan.
00:05:28Never has finished the transcontinental,
00:05:30but three big wins in the provinces this season,
00:05:33plus a brand new beast,
00:05:35means Nero's not fiddling around.
00:05:38Sit still, Cleopatra, and stop blocking me.
00:05:41My fans want to see me.
00:05:44They've never seen a has-been before?
00:05:53Annie Smith?
00:05:55Mr. Frankenstein.
00:05:57I've checked out the car,
00:05:58and everything seems perfect.
00:06:00I have the route maps right here.
00:06:02I will check them in a minute.
00:06:06We will roll.
00:06:08And everything seems perfect.
00:06:11To me.
00:06:12I've, uh, packed some high-protein capsules
00:06:15and as many adrenaline tablets as I could find.
00:06:17And I've also assembled a medical kit,
00:06:20just in case.
00:06:21I'm trained as a nurse.
00:06:22I don't need a nurse.
00:06:24I need a navigator.
00:06:26Mr. Frankenstein,
00:06:28you're very good at what you do,
00:06:30and I'm very good at what I do.
00:06:33We'll see.
00:06:36And you know
00:06:38there's only one person
00:06:40who guns an engine like that.
00:06:42It's gotta be the roughest,
00:06:44tough guy of them all,
00:06:46Machine Gun Joe Viterbo!
00:06:51Here he comes,
00:06:52Machine Gun Joe,
00:06:54loved by thousands,
00:06:56hated by millions.
00:06:57Only living previous winner,
00:06:59except for Frankenstein.
00:07:01Highest lifetime score after Frankenstein.
00:07:03And he's certainly
00:07:05getting the welcome he deserves.
00:07:10Joe doesn't look too happy,
00:07:12but you just can't keep
00:07:14those Frankenstein fans down.
00:07:17Lousy son of a bitch.
00:07:20Frankenstein!
00:07:21Give it to them, Joe.
00:07:22What, Frankenstein?
00:07:24I'll give it, Frankenstein!
00:07:25Here he comes! Here he comes!
00:07:34Frankenstein!
00:07:36Frankenstein the legend!
00:07:38Frankenstein the indestructible!
00:07:40Sole survivor of the Titanic pileup of 95!
00:07:44Only two-time winner of the transcontinental road race!
00:07:48Frankenstein!
00:07:49Ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed and reamed!
00:07:53A dancer on the brink of death!
00:07:57Frankenstein!
00:07:58Who lost a leg in 98, an arm in 99!
00:08:01With half a face and half a chest and all the guts in the world, he's back!
00:08:07God only knows what he looks like under that mask, but he is back!
00:08:12In the name of Mr. President, America loves you, Frankenstein!
00:08:16Frankenstein!
00:08:23You will regret that, Joe.
00:08:36Stay tuned, racing fans.
00:08:38T-Video Satellite will bring every mile of thrills and spills into your living room.
00:08:43All five cars are in starting position here at New York Memorial Raceway, ready to roll!
00:08:50Now, we take you to the Summer Palace and Mr. President.
00:08:55My children, whom I love so dearly,
00:09:14It has been my duty in the long and difficult years since the world crash of 79 to serve you as best I could.
00:09:26Never before in history have the masses forgotten all comfort so that the spirit of genius might thrive
00:09:34And seek the golden key to a new time of plenty in the fertile field of minority privilege.
00:09:42And now, my children, the drivers are ready, the world is waiting.
00:09:47Once more, I give you what you want.
00:10:04Good morning, Americans.
00:10:06Once again, the race is underway, with 12-hour pit stops scheduled at St. Louis and Albuquerque, home of the American Indian Museum.
00:10:16At this very moment, the cars are howling through the streets of Manhattan, but no points have been scored as yet.
00:10:23Take it away, Junior Bruce.
00:10:26They're coming out of the Lincoln Tunnel now, with Frankenstein and Joe running neck and neck.
00:10:31Then it's the Lion, driven by, pass by, Calamity Jane in the ball, moving into third place.
00:10:56Keen, You, come back!
00:10:59Take it away!
00:11:01No!
00:11:02You never've been being here!
00:11:04No!
00:11:06I never've been in the field now!
00:11:07I never've been in the field now!
00:11:13Yeah!
00:11:14Yeah!
00:11:15Yeah!
00:11:16Ah!
00:11:18That's right!
00:11:20Hey, yawanna!
00:11:21Hey, yawanna!
00:11:23Oh, yawanna!
00:11:25All right, and hey, hey, hey, the cars have split up.
00:11:46The driver's taking off on their favorite routes.
00:11:49Frankenstein's still out in front, headed due west,
00:11:52with Nero the hero on his tail,
00:11:54hoping to pick up his leftovers.
00:11:56Calamity James on a northwest hack.
00:11:58Matilda's buzz bomb is trying to catch up with Machine Gun Joe,
00:12:02now streaking southwest.
00:12:04Once again, Mr. President.
00:12:06I have made the United Provinces of America
00:12:09the greatest power in the known universe.
00:12:13I have also given you the most popular sporting event
00:12:17in the history of mankind,
00:12:20the transcontinental road race,
00:12:21which upholds the American tradition of no-holds-barred.
00:12:27No-holds-barred.
00:12:30That's how he got to be president.
00:12:32Hypocrite pig.
00:12:33What about our ultimatum?
00:12:35He's been laughing us off for 15 years.
00:12:38Passive resistance means nothing to him.
00:12:40Pick up that flag, young man.
00:12:42It's time for action.
00:12:44It is not a time for violence.
00:12:46Mrs. Payne, I love Annie as much as you do.
00:12:48But she's no match for Frankenstein.
00:12:51And we can't risk letting him get away.
00:12:53Frankenstein is the biggest target in the world
00:12:55and a personal friend of Mr. President's.
00:12:57That, Lieutenant Fury, is exactly why they'll call off the race.
00:13:02To save his life.
00:13:03My granddaughter will succeed.
00:13:04Hey, don't you ever take off that mask?
00:13:07No.
00:13:08Don't you know about my face?
00:13:10I've heard stories.
00:13:14Nobody's ever seen it, have they?
00:13:16Except I know they're navigators.
00:13:18And they're all dead.
00:13:21So they are.
00:13:26They say you lost most of your jaw at the crack of 92.
00:13:29And my right eye at 95.
00:13:34And my nose and my left eye at 97.
00:13:37And most of my cranium at 98.
00:13:39I'm held together with patches of plastic.
00:13:42Steel plates.
00:13:44It's not a pretty sight.
00:13:47You want to see?
00:13:49Why not?
00:13:50I've seen everything else.
00:13:52Remember, you're doing this on your own.
00:13:55I take no responsibility.
00:13:59What do you expect?
00:14:11Another pretty face?
00:14:17They really love you, Joe.
00:14:20Yeah?
00:14:21How come they ain't down there on the road proving it?
00:14:25Hey, you better make this left turn.
00:14:27You'll shave off about two miles that way.
00:14:29Yeah, all right.
00:14:50All right, all right.
00:14:52And yes-siree.
00:14:54A clean hit.
00:14:55A perfect hit.
00:14:57And no pain for the target.
00:15:00Too bad the guy was only 38.
00:15:02Just two years older, he'd have been worth three times the points.
00:15:05But for the second year in a row,
00:15:07Machine Gun Joe has splattered the scoreboard first.
00:15:12How's it like that, huh?
00:15:14Get off with that one, Myra, baby.
00:15:15What's the matter with this engine?
00:15:20I don't know.
00:15:21Sounds fine to me.
00:15:23Amateurs.
00:15:25Get back there and retard the spark for, uh, three degrees.
00:15:28I don't know.
00:15:29I don't think it might be.
00:15:30I don't know.
00:15:31Also, Compton ...
00:15:33Sponsor 3
00:15:35Let's go.
00:16:05I'm glad to see you were able to find your way back.
00:16:19As the cars roar into Pennsylvania, the cradle of liberty, it seems apparent that our citizens are staying off the streets,
00:16:28which may make scarring particularly difficult even with this year's rule changes.
00:16:34To recap those revisions, women are still worth 10 points more than men in all age brackets,
00:16:43but teenagers now rack up 40 points, and toddlers under 12 now rate a big 70 points.
00:16:52The big score, anyone, any sex, over 75 years old, has been upped to 100 points.
00:17:02As always, how fast you move determines how long you've lived.
00:17:08Hold on.
00:17:18Hold on.
00:17:20Hold on.
00:17:25Hold on.
00:17:31A beautiful kill, a neat kill.
00:17:58No calamities for Jane today, no, sir.
00:18:01And you can bet she'll be getting both ears for that one.
00:18:17What is that?
00:18:19Euthanasia day at the geriatrics hospital.
00:18:21We do it every year.
00:18:23Here he comes! He's coming!
00:18:31Frankenstein scores!
00:18:49Frankenstein scores at last!
00:18:52But what kind of a score, boys and girls?
00:18:55Just 110 points out of a possible big 700!
00:18:59What do you think about that, Gracie?
00:19:01Well, those doctors, dear friends of mine,
00:19:05have been pretty smug all these years setting up the old folks.
00:19:09Frankenstein must have decided it was their turn.
00:19:12Which only goes to show that even the fearsome Frankenstein
00:19:16has a 100% red-blooded American sense of humor.
00:19:21Annie saved those old people.
00:19:24And she'll deliver Frankenstein.
00:19:27Meanwhile, innocent people are being slaughtered on our highways.
00:19:31Ah, they're like Christians being thrown to the gladiators.
00:19:35But just remember, the Christians won!
00:19:38Did they, Mrs. Payne?
00:19:40I take it from your attire
00:19:42that your sabotage operations are being carried out
00:19:45despite my wishes?
00:19:47Mrs. Payne?
00:19:51We're set to hit them with everything we've got.
00:19:53Then, in the name of humanity,
00:19:56let Operation Anti-Race begin!
00:19:59What in the hell are we supposed to score in this graveyard?
00:20:10You're the navigator. That's your problem.
00:20:12You better think of something pretty soon
00:20:14or else you're gonna be out in your ass.
00:20:16It isn't my fault everyone scored before us.
00:20:19You should have gone after that Boy Scout camp like I told you.
00:20:22Try the goddamn Boy Scout camp.
00:20:24You know how fast those Boy Scouts move?
00:20:27Now, here's something more you're seeing.
00:20:32It's gonna be at least 200 points.
00:20:35If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother.
00:20:39Come on! Come on!
00:20:43Go for the baby! The baby!
00:20:46That's it. Come get baby.
00:20:49Bye-bye, baby. Hello, 70 points.
00:20:57Hey, I'm off the air! I'm off the air!
00:20:59Sit down, sit down.
00:21:00Would you please take your places?
00:21:01Don't, I can't.
00:21:02Take your places.
00:21:03You're missing me.
00:21:04Grace, I'm with an interview right now.
00:21:05Hello, ladies.
00:21:06Isn't this just the most exciting race in years?
00:21:09I certainly think so.
00:21:12And guess what?
00:21:13I have a surprise for you.
00:21:15Mrs. Rhonda Bainbridge in person on my show.
00:21:19The widow of Edward Bainbridge, whom, as we all know,
00:21:25was machine gun Joe Viterbo's first score.
00:21:30Welcome to my home.
00:21:32And may I call you Rhonda.
00:21:35Oh, please do, Mrs. Pander.
00:21:37Are we about ready here?
00:21:38Yeah, just about.
00:21:40So we're gonna have to go right away.
00:21:42Okay.
00:21:46As the widow of the race's first score,
00:21:49you have won a high-style two-room apartment in Acapulco.
00:21:55Start the jam!
00:21:56And next year, you will be watching the race
00:22:14on a 50-inch, three-dimensional, octophonic T-video set.
00:22:19Very oppressed Americans.
00:22:22The execution of the barbarian killer Nero the Hero
00:22:26is the people's first stroke
00:22:29against the evil and corrupt regime of Mr. President.
00:22:35I am Thomasina Paine,
00:22:37founder and commander of the Army of the Resistance.
00:22:41For 20 years, Americans have been told
00:22:45when to eat and when to sleep,
00:22:47when to laugh and when to hate.
00:22:51The age of obedience is over.
00:22:55In the names of George Washington,
00:22:58Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman,
00:23:02I call upon you to stand up for your inalienable rights.
00:23:06We declare war upon the bipartisan party,
00:23:10on Mr. President,
00:23:12and on that most inhuman desecration of life and liberty,
00:23:17the transcontinental road rape.
00:23:21I thank you.
00:23:23What the hell was that?
00:23:26I have no information.
00:23:28Is this race still on?
00:23:30I have no information.
00:23:31Well, what do you think?
00:23:32About what?
00:23:33About that speech.
00:23:35Add spice to the race.
00:23:37Spice?
00:23:38They've killed Nero.
00:23:40Yeah, they would have got more points for me.
00:23:42Don't you understand?
00:23:44They've declared war on the race and on you.
00:23:47Aren't you worried?
00:23:48The only thing that worries me
00:23:49is machine gun Joe for terrible.
00:23:51He's winning all you care about.
00:23:53Yes.
00:23:54It's the only standard of excellence left.
00:23:57Come on.
00:24:02Here they come.
00:24:03About finished.
00:24:04Come on.
00:24:10Look at that stupid hole right in the middle.
00:24:12They won't get through there.
00:24:19It's me!
00:24:21...converge from all their roots
00:24:22and head for the first pit stop in St. Louis.
00:24:25Machine gun Joe is still leading the field
00:24:28with Frankenstein second, Calamity Jane third.
00:24:31Leaving Matilda the Hunt in fourth position
00:24:33and Calamity Jane facing another Calamity.
00:24:36Right now, Frankenstein's score points
00:24:39put him just ahead of Joe.
00:24:41Hey!
00:24:42Get off the rope!
00:24:43Jesus Chrysler!
00:24:44Get off the rope!
00:24:45...arriving first in St. Louis.
00:24:48Hey, dummy.
00:24:49Come on over and hold the lance.
00:24:55The sacrifice.
00:25:00Where's the one that says welcome Joe for terrible?
00:25:04Score in the center of a bitch, Joe.
00:25:05You need every point you can get.
00:25:12I'll rematch him slightly.
00:25:14Put him out of his misery, Joe.
00:25:16Hey, is that fair?
00:25:17Yeah.
00:25:18Hey!
00:25:19Should I let him go?
00:25:20Fair's always right.
00:25:22There's always right.
00:25:52One thing before we begin.
00:26:14The government would like it if nobody said anything about Nero.
00:26:17Understand? He hit a tree, and that's it.
00:26:20Got it?
00:26:20We don't want to depress anybody, but...
00:26:23Hey, hey.
00:26:24Everybody knows he was blown up by the resistance, you schmuck.
00:26:27It was on television.
00:26:29If you want to drive again next year, Mr. Viterbo, you'll keep those opinions to yourself.
00:26:34Okay, go ahead.
00:26:35This is Grace Pander from St. Louis, where Matilda, a dear friend of mine, is receiving a well-deserved rubdown.
00:26:44Tell me, Tilly, darling, what can we expect from you when the cars go back on the road?
00:26:49You can expect a victory by a member of the master race, a woman.
00:26:55Oh, Tilly, darling, that certainly is showing a lot of confidence for someone who's lying fourth out of four.
00:27:02She doesn't mind as long as she's lying somewhere.
00:27:04Look, when I'm through with you, you're going to be line of state, lady.
00:27:07Listen, miss, if anybody is going to Boot Hill, it's you and your biz bag.
00:27:10Buzz bomb.
00:27:10Shut up. Look, you just leave my navigator over.
00:27:14Girls, girls, girls, remember you're on TV land.
00:27:18Pete, how do you like being a navigator?
00:27:20Well, Junior, I'd like it more if I was in the driver's seat.
00:27:26You'll get what's coming to you on the road.
00:27:29Oh, yeah?
00:27:29Well, what's coming to me is the final solution to the cowgirl problem.
00:27:34Frankenstein, can you tell us when you're going to make your move?
00:27:37Are you going to take any off-road chances for scores?
00:27:39Or are you driving all out to be first in the new L.A.?
00:27:43It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
00:27:47Frankenstein, a dear friend of mine.
00:27:49Frankenstein, tell me how it feels when at that electric instant driving at 200 miles an hour,
00:27:54life and death coexist at the moment of scoring.
00:27:56You stand in the middle of Route 66 tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock
00:28:01and you can answer that question for yourself.
00:28:17What are you doing? Get away from me, Joe. Go nuts.
00:28:21Just tell him I was whispering sweet nothing in your ear.
00:28:26Tell us what he said to you.
00:28:32Well, Myra, what did Frankenstein have to say to you?
00:28:35He didn't say anything.
00:28:37What did he say?
00:28:38Nothing.
00:28:38What did he say?
00:28:39Nothing.
00:28:40Look, I'm not playing games here, Myra.
00:28:42I want to know what he said.
00:28:43He said there was nothing sweet in my ear.
00:28:48In my ear.
00:28:49What do you want?
00:29:04My name is Laurie, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:29:07I'm head of Chapter 7, St. Louis Lovers of Frankenstein.
00:29:10I was chosen from over 100 girls.
00:29:12You offer me your body? Is that it?
00:29:14You want to make love to me because I drive a monster and wear this costume?
00:29:19No, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:29:21Well, that wouldn't be fair to your navigator.
00:29:23It's taken her years of hard work to earn that privilege.
00:29:26Besides, we understand your feelings.
00:29:30What do you know of my feelings?
00:29:32Everything, like, like why you're afraid of falling in love?
00:29:39And why winning the race means everything to you.
00:29:42How do you know these things?
00:29:45From my dreams, partly.
00:29:47And from letters I get from other fans.
00:29:51Plus, the club subscribes to an astrology service.
00:29:54Well, if you're not here to offer me your body, I do.
00:29:57I wanted to meet you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:00I wanted you to know who I am.
00:30:02So it would have meaning.
00:30:05I don't understand.
00:30:07So what would have meaning?
00:30:09We love you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:11I know just saying it doesn't mean much.
00:30:14Why do you love me?
00:30:15Because I kill people?
00:30:17Scoring isn't killing, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:19It's part of the race.
00:30:21You're a national hero.
00:30:23And we want you to know we're with you 100%.
00:30:26Good night, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:30:32I didn't hear you come in.
00:30:44What were you expecting, Machine Gun Joe?
00:30:48I thought I could trust you.
00:30:50You really just don't want to give me a chance, do you?
00:30:56I was trying to help you.
00:31:00I'm sorry.
00:31:03You're what?
00:31:07Sorry.
00:31:08You wanted to know our route, so I told him to go down 54 through the Cimarron Valley.
00:31:1854 is a dead end.
00:31:21It means nowhere.
00:31:22That's right.
00:31:24And if Joe takes it, he's sunk.
00:31:28The only way Joe will take that road is if he sees us do it first.
00:31:32Or if he's ahead of us.
00:31:36Is that the arm that came off in 98?
00:31:39Mm-hmm.
00:31:41And which one of those obviously perfect legs came off in 99?
00:31:48The right.
00:31:49And the left one was just broken in six places and burned down to the bone.
00:31:54Is that right?
00:31:55Mm-hmm.
00:31:57It's a miracle you can still walk.
00:32:02Do you like to dance?
00:32:03Yes.
00:32:04Good.
00:32:04Don't you like to dance?
00:32:05Do you like to dance?
00:32:07Say it in 99 times.
00:32:07Don't you like to dance?
00:32:38Those Swiss mechanics sure did a good job on you.
00:33:04What else did they replace?
00:33:08Wait a minute, and I'll show you.
00:33:13Oh, Mr. President, bless thy children and make them strong.
00:33:26Bless thy daughters, Matilda and Jane, and thy son, Joe.
00:33:31And bless thy beloved son, the immortal Frankenstein, who has given so much pleasure to so many.
00:33:40To hell with Frankenstein. What about Joe Viterbo?
00:33:42The flag is down and they're away with machine gun Joe blasting into the lead on this second lap of the great transcontinental road race.
00:34:02Frankenstein is making a left turn splitting early from the pack. Look out, all you folks just south of here.
00:34:08Gee, Joe, there's nobody even close behind us.
00:34:11Shh, shh, shh.
00:34:12Where's he going? What's he doing?
00:34:14Hey, what are you doing? Where are we going?
00:34:17I dropped my glove.
00:34:18Let not the ruin of thy robes destruct the tires of thy...
00:34:23Hey, Chrysler!
00:34:26Ladies and gentlemen, by a bizarre accident, Frankenstein has killed our cherished colleague, the deacon of the bipartisan party.
00:34:34I think you did that on purpose.
00:34:37I have to give the fans something to talk about.
00:34:40It's my obligation as a national hero.
00:34:43Frankenstein scores now. Does that score count, Harold?
00:34:46An interesting point, Junior, and one that may set a significant precedent.
00:34:52Can a racer's score erase the bishop?
00:34:55Oh, and after all those nice things he said about him.
00:34:58It don't matter. It don't count. You can't score religious personalities.
00:35:03The word, deacon, has been handed down to us from the ancient...
00:35:08The, uh...
00:35:09Frankenstein score has been approved for 50 points.
00:35:13The confirmation has just been handed to me.
00:35:16Why, you know what that means, Junior?
00:35:18That means that the race officials from coast to coast will be falling like flies.
00:35:23Oh, shit!
00:35:24Frankenstein scores! I hate him! I hate him!
00:35:28He's elevating!
00:35:29He's elevating!
00:35:29He's elevating!
00:35:30He's elevating!
00:35:31He's elevating!
00:35:32He's elevating!
00:35:33He's elevating!
00:35:34He's elevating!
00:35:35He's elevating!
00:35:36He's elevating!
00:35:37He's elevating!
00:35:38He's elevating!
00:35:39He's elevating!
00:35:40He's elevating!
00:35:41He's elevating!
00:35:42He's elevating!
00:35:43He's elevating!
00:35:44He's elevating!
00:35:45He's elevating!
00:35:46He's elevating!
00:35:47He's elevating!
00:35:48He's elevating!
00:35:49He's elevating!
00:35:50He's elevating!
00:35:51He's elevating!
00:35:52He's elevating!
00:35:53He's elevating!
00:35:54He's elevating!
00:35:55He's elevating!
00:35:56He's elevating!
00:35:57He's elevating!
00:35:58Oh, why did she do that?
00:36:17Show me she loves me.
00:36:25Here they come, let's get picked.
00:36:28Chicken guy, chicken in a basket, chicken in a casket.
00:36:46Oh, shit.
00:36:55Hey, hey, who got the last lap there, huh?
00:37:10The turn off, it's coming up.
00:37:18Should I take it?
00:37:20Who gives a goddamn shit?
00:37:22Should I?
00:37:23She says I shouldn't, so I should, right?
00:37:24Or should I?
00:37:25I don't know.
00:37:26What?
00:37:27Well, I don't think you should.
00:37:28I think it's definitely a trick.
00:37:29I'll do it.
00:37:30I'll do it.
00:37:31I won't do it.
00:37:32I'd be a schmuck to do it.
00:37:35I did it!
00:37:36I'm no schmuck!
00:37:38That's your story.
00:37:39That's right.
00:37:40That's right.
00:37:41If I see you mess with Frankenstein again, I'm really gonna bust your eyes.
00:37:45What do you mean, really?
00:37:47I'll have an almost unlimited score possibility, but it's pretty far down the road.
00:38:02District Penitence Compound.
00:38:04All those old congressmen chained up, it'd be like sitting ducks.
00:38:08Yeah, and all I gotta do is drive through a cyclone fence.
00:38:11Uh-oh.
00:38:12Look, the farther west we go, the fewer targets there'll be.
00:38:16Hey, come on.
00:38:17Joe's already on his way to a dead end, and the other two...
00:38:24Okay.
00:38:28Take the next ride.
00:38:31Now, as soon as the car gets within range, I shall give the signal.
00:38:35We'll have just under a minute after they reach the turnoff.
00:38:38Uh-huh.
00:38:39Lieutenant Fury figures...
00:38:40Lieutenant Fury has nothing whatever to do with this.
00:38:44I want none of his surprises here.
00:38:46I could stand for a surprise, like if Frankenstein didn't show up.
00:38:50Don't worry. He'll show.
00:38:56What's our estimated time of arrival in Albuquerque?
00:38:59Well, I'm not sure.
00:39:00I mean, this detour's gonna make a difference.
00:39:02Haven't you calculated our time of arrival?
00:39:04Well, of course I did, but I couldn't take into consideration then.
00:39:07Take what into consideration?
00:39:09Frankenstein, stop the car!
00:39:11Hold on.
00:39:16What the hell?
00:39:17Keep going!
00:39:18Don't stop now.
00:39:19What are you doing?
00:39:20What are they doing?
00:39:25Sorry, brother.
00:39:26If that's the best ambush the Resistance can come up with, we've got nothing to worry about.
00:39:42I guess not.
00:39:43One thing I can't figure out, is why would they bother to dress that guy up to look like me?
00:39:49Maybe he was a fan.
00:39:50Who built this stinking road?
00:39:51If I ever get my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out!
00:39:56I mean it!
00:39:57I'm sick of this race, and I'm sick of you!
00:39:59I guess it must have been Joe that set us up for that ambush, don't you think?
00:40:03Got in touch with those guys somehow and told them where we were going?
00:40:04I guess it might have been.
00:40:05But then how the hell did Joe know we were going to take a detour?
00:40:09Maybe it was those guys on the pit crew in St. Louis.
00:40:10Took your book out of the car while you were getting massaged.
00:40:15I didn't leave my book in the car.
00:40:16You didn't, huh?
00:40:17No.
00:40:18Well, then I guess it couldn't have been them.
00:40:19Who do you think it was?
00:40:20I have no idea.
00:40:21Why do you care, as long as they didn't get you?
00:40:22Us.
00:40:23They didn't get us.
00:40:24We're a team, remember?
00:40:25We're a team, remember?
00:40:55Come on over to my side.
00:40:58You're going to drive for a while.
00:41:01Why?
00:41:02I'm not trained as a driver.
00:41:04Never mind why.
00:41:05Just do as I tell you.
00:41:16I'm counting on you to make a nice big score for us.
00:41:19Sure.
00:41:22Is there anything special in mind?
00:41:24Nothing will turn up.
00:41:27I'm sure that it will.
00:41:44Jesus H. Christ!
00:41:45I killed that friend!
00:41:46What did I do?
00:41:47Shake your face!
00:41:51Hey Cornball, what's the fastest way through here?
00:41:53Well, actually, the only way we do it is we get a bulldozer.
00:41:57We trim this edge down here and we drive through, but...
00:42:00No, no.
00:42:01What's the fastest way between here and Albuquerque?
00:42:02You've got to go back to the main highway, really.
00:42:04But I lose 45 minutes!
00:42:06I've seen you before.
00:42:07I'm one of your greatest fans.
00:42:09You know that?
00:42:10I follow all of the races.
00:42:12I got pictures of you all over the outhouse.
00:42:14I named my favorite dog after you, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:42:17I did.
00:42:18Lousy, stinking dirt bar.
00:42:19You've got two seconds to live!
00:42:21I'll give her the lips!
00:42:51Come on, Pete, honey. You gonna take all day with that?
00:43:06I want to get on the road, make a few more scores. My bloodlust is fading.
00:43:10I'm almost finished, Calamity, sweetheart. We'll be back on the road in no time.
00:43:14Then we'll cream that Nazi's ass for her.
00:43:16What'd you say?
00:43:18Lipstick!
00:43:19Ha-ha!
00:43:20You lazy bitch! I'll kill you for that!
00:43:24Nobody scores my navigator and gets away with it.
00:43:45Uh-oh. Here she comes. And boy, is she pissed.
00:43:49Well, what does she expect? You leave your navigator lying around?
00:43:52Naturally, somebody's gonna run over them.
00:43:55You lazy bitch. And boy, he's minuscule-party
00:43:58All right.
00:44:00Huh-ha!
00:44:01Who has it just valve eyes?
00:44:03Who has it so that's right?
00:44:04Well, I've missed.
00:44:05And I've sc pacing.
00:44:06I'll be béard.
00:44:08This way is free.
00:44:08I've missed glasses.
00:44:09I'll be back.
00:44:10See you later.
00:44:11She's gaining on us, Mama, and she's got murder on her mind.
00:44:40Mach schnell, meine kleine Fassbaum.
00:45:10That's good.
00:45:12All right, three, one, two, three.
00:45:15Put it.
00:45:16Easy.
00:45:17Steady she goes.
00:45:18Here they come.
00:45:20A deter.
00:45:21I really needed that right now.
00:45:26Go!
00:45:27Go!
00:45:28Go!
00:45:29Go!
00:45:30Go!
00:45:31Go!
00:45:32Here they come!
00:45:35A deter.
00:45:37I really needed that right now.
00:45:47Holy shit.
00:46:14A special bulletin.
00:46:15There's been an accident, an explosion.
00:46:18It looks like Matilda has been blown totally...
00:46:25Correction!
00:46:28Matilda has made an impressive score.
00:46:31Stand by.
00:46:36Don't you want to take over now?
00:46:38I'm afraid of making us lose an awful lot of time.
00:46:41You're doing just fine.
00:46:45It looks like an easy score.
00:46:46Yeah.
00:46:47Yeah, it does.
00:46:48It's always best to start small.
00:46:52I missed it.
00:46:53Take some practice.
00:46:54Before it comes easy?
00:46:55It never comes easy.
00:46:56Keep your eyes on the road.
00:47:02How far is it to the penitence compound?
00:47:03Oh, maybe 20 miles.
00:47:09Stop the car.
00:47:10Get in.
00:47:11Get in.
00:47:12Get in.
00:47:13Get in.
00:47:14It never comes easy. Keep your eyes on the road.
00:47:21How far is it to the penitence compound?
00:47:25Oh, maybe 20 miles.
00:47:30Stop the car.
00:47:40Get out.
00:47:42Out.
00:47:45Come to the other side.
00:47:51Around the front.
00:48:06Where is the penitence compound?
00:48:11It's in Japan.
00:48:12Get in.
00:48:17Get in.
00:48:18I can just put you out of this car and pick up a quick 30 points.
00:48:30Who are you? Who are you working for?
00:48:35I'm Thomas Hena Payne's granddaughter.
00:48:39I'm honored.
00:48:40I'm honored.
00:48:43So you were gonna capture me and replace me with that goon back there.
00:48:47What for?
00:48:49He was going to deliver our ultimatum to Mr. President.
00:48:52Your life in exchange for the permanent abolition of the race.
00:49:01what?
00:49:02He was a great dear friend of mine.
00:49:10That's it.
00:49:11He was a great dear friend of mine.
00:49:14He was a great dear friend of mine.
00:49:16She was a great dear friend of mine, and I shall remember her forever howling down that
00:49:36freeway in the sky, knocking over the angels.
00:49:41The valiant Hun's demise was, in fact, caused by enemies of the people.
00:49:49There will be a special broadcast by Mr. President at 1,900 hours.
00:49:54Stay tuned to find out how you can help Mr. President preserve our way of life.
00:50:01Clementine, turn off the television.
00:50:03Hey, you guys, you want to stop playing that song, please?
00:50:06Look, what we got here is a race, a sport independent, not some kind of daredevil stunt.
00:50:11I want some kind of protection.
00:50:12You should have given us an escort right after Nero got it.
00:50:14Go on, don't score any escort, wouldn't you, baby?
00:50:17You want to zip your lip, Myra?
00:50:19Huh?
00:50:20Now, are you going to cover me or not?
00:50:21Look, Mr. Viterbo, if you're afraid to go on with the race, why don't you quit?
00:50:25You're calling me a turkey?
00:50:27If you ask me, you're all just making excuses for poor driving.
00:50:30Poor driving?
00:50:31Listen, honey, Matilda the Hun was a champion driver.
00:50:34Ain't nobody could have scored my navigator and gotten away with it.
00:50:37And he's talking about poor driving.
00:50:40I'd like to see you out there.
00:50:41Yeah.
00:50:42I've been driving for 10 years.
00:50:43Nobody talks to me like this.
00:50:44You know you're an idiot.
00:50:45It's all on account of the rebels.
00:50:46Who mentioned anything about rebels?
00:50:48There are no rebels.
00:50:50Understand?
00:50:51Well, then, who was that old lady on the television?
00:50:54Thomasina Payne.
00:50:55She's a heartless lunatic.
00:50:56Would you please come outside, sir?
00:50:57We'd like to ask you a few questions.
00:50:59Come on, Annie.
00:51:00Alone, if you don't mind.
00:51:01Mr. President will explain those accidents during his address to the nation tonight.
00:51:07How did she jam the networks?
00:51:08How'd she bump off our friends?
00:51:09She didn't bump off anybody.
00:51:10She walked into a television station waving a gun, forced them to put her on the air.
00:51:15Now, we've taken her back to the asylum, and that is the end of it.
00:51:17You know, I've got just two words to say about that.
00:51:18Oh?
00:51:19Bullshit!
00:51:20Hey!
00:51:21I told you to stop playing that song!
00:51:22You seem to forget, Joe, that I'm a representative of Mr. President's government.
00:51:24I happen to hold the power of life and death.
00:51:25Yeah?
00:51:26I happen to hold the clamp saw.
00:51:27Look out, Viterbo.
00:51:28You may be the same person, but I'm not a man.
00:51:29I'm not a man.
00:51:30I'm not a man.
00:51:31I'm a man.
00:51:32I'm a man.
00:51:33I'm a man.
00:51:34I'm a man.
00:51:35I'm a man.
00:51:36I'm a man.
00:51:37I'm a man.
00:51:38I'm a man.
00:51:39I'm a man.
00:51:40I'm a man.
00:51:41I'm a man.
00:51:42I'm a man.
00:51:43I'm a man.
00:51:44Look out, Viterbo.
00:51:46You may be the second biggest clown in this circus, but if I want you dead, you're dead.
00:51:53Sit down and eat!
00:51:55I don't need to stop blowing that mute!
00:52:02Were they armed, or did they expect the fire in the ditch to be enough to stop you?
00:52:06I don't know what they expected.
00:52:07We just ran through it all and kept on going.
00:52:10Just one more question, Mr. Frankenstein.
00:52:13Did you take that particular road on your own initiative
00:52:16or on the advice of your navigator?
00:52:22On my own initiative.
00:52:24Thank you, Mr. Frankenstein. That will be all.
00:52:29There has been a lot of talk about American rebels.
00:52:33We have positive proof that it was none other than the treacherous French.
00:52:39Who have been sabotaging our great race.
00:52:43Just as they and their stinking European allies
00:52:47have undermined and destroyed our great national economy.
00:52:53It is no coincidence, my dear children,
00:52:55that the word sabotage was invented by the French.
00:53:00Where's Annie?
00:53:01I don't know. Hey, did you hear the news?
00:53:04Mr. President said it was the French who knocked off Nero and Matilda.
00:53:08Gallant heroes.
00:53:09Watch out for the creeps who's in.
00:53:11Lamedy, Jane Kelly, Machine Gun Joe Viterbo, and Frankenstein
00:53:15as they begin the last lap of their long and difficult journey
00:53:21toward new Los Angeles.
00:53:28Drop your keys.
00:53:30I was just looking for something I lost.
00:53:33The race?
00:53:35Look, Joe.
00:53:37I threw you off course.
00:53:39Okay?
00:53:40All's fair in love and war?
00:53:42I'm glad to hear you say that, Annie,
00:53:44because what we've got going here definitely ain't love.
00:53:48Well, then why don't we just forget about it?
00:53:51You know, Annie,
00:53:53it's too bad things ain't like they were in the old days
00:53:56and we just take somebody in an alley and blow the brains out.
00:53:59You know?
00:54:01Joe, please.
00:54:02Go ahead and scream, Annie.
00:54:04You're hurting me, Joe.
00:54:05There's nobody to hear you.
00:54:08Huh?
00:54:13How does it feel to know
00:54:15that you're going to spend the rest of your life in pain?
00:54:18The rest of your life?
00:54:19It's about a minute and a half.
00:54:24Hey, Frankie.
00:54:25Frankie, I'm glad you told me I caught your navigator
00:54:27trying to screw around with the car,
00:54:29so I thought I'd come out and have a look
00:54:31at what was going on, you know what I mean?
00:54:33Hey, come on.
00:54:34Frankie!
00:55:01Come on.
00:55:31Come on.
00:55:32Come on.
00:55:33Come on.
00:55:34Come on.
00:55:35Come on.
00:55:36Come on.
00:55:37Come on.
00:55:57Off the streets.
00:55:58So much for a fair fight.
00:56:00fight. Next chance I get you're dead. What were you doing down there? Getting more
00:56:14secret instructions from the lunatic fringe? Why don't you just turn me in and
00:56:24get it over with? No need to. You're blowing your cover? You're no threat to me. Anyway,
00:56:32you're not someone I would throw away. I have a job to do. Your job is a waste of
00:56:38time. The world doesn't want to be saved. I'm giving you a chance to save one small
00:56:44part of it. Yourself. Who are you anyway? Nobody. I was brought up in a government
00:56:55training center to be just what I am. Frankenstein. The best driver on earth this
00:56:59year. They use one up, they bring in another. But I will be the last of the line.
00:57:06Oh, who's kidding who? I never kid.
00:57:36Why don't you ever take off that glove? What's underneath it? That's my secret. You
00:57:48and the Swiss doctors again? There are no Swiss doctors. Just Native American. No one.
00:57:59I don't want to hear. Have you checked the oil? Yes. Checked the hydraulics. An hour
00:58:10ago. Brakes, tires, water? Yeah. They're okay. Everything's okay. Don't worry. I'm not going to do it all.
00:58:16Have you checked the oil?
00:58:21Yes.
00:58:22Have you checked the hydraulics?
00:58:23An hour ago.
00:58:24Brakes, tires, water?
00:58:26Yeah, they're okay.
00:58:27Everything's okay.
00:58:28Don't worry.
00:58:29I'm not going to do anything to sabotage the car.
00:58:35You get a load of that face?
00:58:36Yeah, I wonder if somebody got points for that eye.
00:58:41Listen, Frankenstein, there's just you, me, and Joe left in the race.
00:58:44Listen, well, I just want you to know that whoever wins or whatever happens,
00:58:50it's been really grand racing with you folks.
00:58:53I also want to say that I think you make a real nice couple.
00:58:56Thank you, Kate.
00:58:58Good luck.
00:59:06Joe, Myra, I just want to say, whatever happens, whoever wins...
00:59:12They save it for the French.
00:59:14The cars are started, lined up, and ready to roll on the last lap.
00:59:21They're off.
00:59:22Frankenstein, holy crap.
00:59:24Joe has just scored his own pit crew.
00:59:27You love me, son of a bitch.
00:59:28You love me, too.
00:59:32Machine gun Joe Viterbo, that funny man from Chicago,
00:59:36has scored his own mechanics for 40 points
00:59:39and is off to catch Calamity Jane Ann Frankenstein.
00:59:52Screw you, Joe Viterbo and your mother!
00:59:55We'll see you get to New L.A. first with the highest score, too.
00:59:59It's coming up on the left.
01:00:00Forget it, I'm keeping Frankie in my sights.
01:00:05He's got five minutes on us, and he's stretching it.
01:00:08So what?
01:00:09If there's trouble up ahead, he'll find it first.
01:00:11Oh, yeah, take a look at your face.
01:00:14You'll find it first.
01:00:18You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute.
01:00:21But me, I think you're one very large baked potato.
01:00:24Roaring down Motorway 66 towards California,
01:00:28Frankenstein looks certain to be first across the line.
01:00:31But Machine Gun Joe is still way ahead on points,
01:00:36and he could win the race even by arriving second in New Los Angeles.
01:00:40What's your prediction, Grace?
01:00:43You know, Junior, when Machine Gun Joe was just a little boy in Chicago,
01:00:49he had a pet snake that he used to love to ride over with his tricycle.
01:00:54He'll be right back.
01:01:24Oh, my God.
01:01:54Oh, my God.
01:02:24Oh, my God.
01:02:54Oh, my God.
01:03:24Oh, my God.
01:03:25Oh, my God.
01:03:26Oh, my God.
01:03:27Oh, my God.
01:03:28Oh, my God.
01:03:29Oh, my God.
01:03:30Oh, my God.
01:03:31Oh, my God.
01:03:32Oh, my God.
01:03:33Oh, my God.
01:03:34Oh, my God.
01:03:35Oh, my God.
01:03:36Oh, my God.
01:03:37Oh, my God.
01:03:38Oh, my God.
01:03:39Oh, my God.
01:03:40Oh, my God.
01:03:42Oh, my God.
01:03:43Oh, my God.
01:03:44Oh, my God.
01:03:45Oh, my God.
01:03:46Oh, my God.
01:03:47Oh, my God.
01:03:48Oh, my God.
01:03:49Oh, my God.
01:03:50Oh, my God.
01:03:51Oh, my God.
01:03:52Oh, my God.
01:03:53Oh, my God.
01:03:54Oh, my God.
01:03:55Oh, my God.
01:03:56Oh, my God.
01:03:57Oh, my God.
01:03:58North part, my love.
01:04:01Even the country will know we must be taken seriously.
01:04:02Judy, wait.
01:04:03I'm coming with you.
01:04:04No, Mrs. Paine.
01:04:05It's too dangerous.
01:04:06Nonsense.
01:04:07I've waited 20 years for this moment.
01:04:08Oh, I know I can't join you on the mission,
01:04:09But I want to see you pull it off with my own eyes.
01:04:14A couple of turn offs coming up.
01:04:17What's the quickest way to U.L.A.?
01:04:19That's funny.
01:04:20What?
01:04:21I can't seem to focus my eyes on the map.
01:04:27I think we stay on Sam. I feel like I'm going to pass out.
01:04:32Look at that.
01:04:37It's Sam, isn't it?
01:04:39Please stop the car.
01:04:41Sorry. We're at a race.
01:04:53Frankenstein, stop right now. We want to talk to you.
01:04:58Stop before I force you to.
01:05:13I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to.
01:05:28Annie, help me! Turn off the engine!
01:05:34Annie's dead, Mrs. Payne. He must have killed her.
01:05:39Now I'm really going to let him in the afternoon.
01:05:41No!
01:05:51Look at that. The Rebels are sure giving it to Frankenstein.
01:05:55Thank you, Rebels.
01:05:57Baby, I think we got this race won.
01:06:00Aren't we going to help him, Joe?
01:06:01What, are you nuts or something?
01:06:02I'm getting my ass out of here before they decide to make emergency landing.
01:06:06Come on, sit down.
01:06:08Atta girl.
01:06:31You're coming!
01:06:33You're coming!
01:06:35We're coming!
01:06:36Let's go!
01:06:37No!
01:06:38No!
01:06:40You're coming!
01:06:42No!
01:06:45Yes!
01:06:47No!
01:06:49No!
01:06:51No!
01:06:52Oh, my God.
01:07:22Oh, my God.
01:07:52Oh, my God.
01:08:02Well, America, there you have it.
01:08:04Frankenstein has just been attacked by the French Air Force,
01:08:08and he's whipped their derrieres.
01:08:10His point total for this one will be something astronomical.
01:08:14Machine Gun Joe better watch out.
01:08:16Right on schedule.
01:08:24Hey, what happened?
01:08:26I slipped you a 30-minute sleep ex.
01:08:28Didn't want you doing something back there we would both regret.
01:08:31Did they attack us?
01:08:33According to the radio, we were attacked by the French Air Force.
01:08:36Was the plane shot down?
01:08:38Even those Swiss doctors couldn't have helped.
01:08:41I'm sorry.
01:08:42I know they were your people.
01:08:45But I can't let anything stop me now.
01:08:47They didn't expect you to give up easily.
01:08:49They were prepared for whatever happened.
01:08:52Oh, my God.
01:08:53You've been hit.
01:08:54I'll make it.
01:08:55I'm sorry.
01:08:59Things worked out this way.
01:09:01It's not over yet.
01:09:03I'm afraid it is.
01:09:05Hey!
01:09:06Hey!
01:09:07Hey!
01:09:08Hey!
01:09:09Hey!
01:09:10Hey!
01:09:11Hey!
01:09:12Hey!
01:09:13Hey!
01:09:14Hey!
01:09:15Hey!
01:09:16Hey!
01:09:17Hey!
01:09:18Hey!
01:09:19Hey!
01:09:20Hey!
01:09:21Hey!
01:09:22Hey!
01:09:23Hey!
01:09:24Hey!
01:09:25Hey!
01:09:26Hey!
01:09:27Hey!
01:09:28Hey!
01:09:29Hey!
01:09:30Hey!
01:09:31Hey!
01:09:32Hey!
01:09:33Hey!
01:09:34Hey!
01:09:37What the hell do you think you're doing?
01:09:39It doesn't make any difference what happens to me.
01:09:41Now that is the dumbest, sorriest thing I've ever heard you say.
01:09:45I don't believe you've got a drop of Thomasina Payne's blood in your whole body.
01:09:48body. The minute things get rough, you close your eyes and try to drive us off a cliff.
01:09:53If you just stop trying to kill me for a minute, I need your help. How can you possibly expect me to
01:10:00help you? You're my navigator. You're the only one who knows where you're going. I mean, whose side
01:10:06are you on, anyway? I thought the only thing you cared about was winning the race. Sure. Only the
01:10:13winner of the race is to shake hands with Mr. President. Is that a grenade? A hand grenade.
01:10:20That handshake is all I've lived for for as long as I can remember. Now, wait a minute. I don't want
01:10:28you to die. It's my life's work.
01:10:43I don't want you to die.
01:11:13Why do you want to win this race so bad? Why do I want to win this race in the name of
01:11:21hate? One big victory for hate.
01:11:43one big victory for hate. Not so bad.
01:11:46I don't want you to die. Might be a gun.
01:11:49com.
01:12:00I don't want you to die.
01:12:02Oh, my God.
01:12:32Oh, my God.
01:13:02Give me your hand.
01:13:06Give me your hand.
01:13:21Oh, my God.
01:13:24Will you stop the car?
01:13:25Shut up.
01:13:25What is this?
01:13:26Give me your hand.
01:13:26No.
01:13:27It's your hand.
01:13:28Will you stop the car?
01:13:29Stop the car.
01:13:30Stop the car.
01:13:32Stop it.
01:13:32You're going to have to shift the gears for me now.
01:13:45The only thing that worries me is how am I going to shake hands with Mr. President.
01:13:53Mr. President is the one who should be worried now.
01:13:56He's coming.
01:14:18Can you hear that engine?
01:14:19Still in perfect tune.
01:14:22Here he is.
01:14:23The one and only three-time winner and sole survivor of the 20th annual transcontinental road race.
01:14:31None other than Frankenstein himself.
01:14:34And now, Mr. President.
01:14:37Our enemy, the French, have destroyed nearly all our gallant races, just as they have crippled
01:14:47our once great economy, and wrecked our telephone system.
01:14:52But even they, in all their evil power, were unable to destroy Frankenstein, who is the embodiment
01:15:01of our national virtue, and therefore, indestructible.
01:15:07It is fitting that Frankenstein should be the one chosen by your president to lead you in
01:15:13this war against the French, which I now decree.
01:15:20Frankenstein has been shot.
01:15:22There is a French spy in our midst.
01:15:24God, seize that woman.
01:15:27Frankenstein, are you all right?
01:15:41Eddie.
01:15:43Robert drove the men.
01:15:56David.
01:16:09David.
01:16:10David.
01:16:11Eddie.
01:16:13Mr. and Mrs. President Frankenstein, dear friends of mine, can you tell us what your first official acts will be?
01:16:38I plan to pension off the secret police, restore free elections, end minority privilege, and move the seat of government back to New Los Angeles.
01:16:47The country has been governed from abroad long enough.
01:16:49Mr. President Frankenstein, is it true that you are now accepting rebels into your government?
01:16:55Well, since I have accepted one into my house...
01:16:59President Frankenstein has appointed my great-grandmother, Thomasina Payne, in view of her experience in the field, as the Minister for Domestic Security.
01:17:07And I plan to deal very harshly with rebels.
01:17:12Anybody who is unhappy with happiness can go find someplace else to live.
01:17:17What about the race?
01:17:19The race is abolished.
01:17:21Abolished?
01:17:22That's right.
01:17:23We feel that the country no longer needs this gratuitous display of violence to show the world that its virility is still intact.
01:17:29Right.
01:17:30But, Mr. President Frankenstein, isn't it true that, as a racer, your popularity depended entirely on violence?
01:17:36I'm afraid I shall have to let my press secretary answer that question.
01:17:41Stop annoying Mr. President with important questions, Junior.
01:17:44It's the race, man.
01:17:47President Frankenstein, you can't call off the race.
01:17:50The American people won't stand for it.
01:17:52Get out of the way, Junior.
01:17:53The race is the symbol of everything we hold dear.
01:17:57Our American way of life.
01:17:59Sure it's violent, but that's the way we love it.
01:18:01Violent, violent, violent.
01:18:03And that's why we love you.
01:18:05Frank, do we have to listen to this?
01:18:07Be violent.
01:18:08No.
01:18:08As to this matter of violence, the technique of violence was first developed in 2 million B.C. by the Australopithecines,
01:18:28a tribe of four-foot primates who had no brains to speak of, but who, nevertheless, invented the tomahawk and used it on each other.
01:18:38This practice led to the enlargement of the brain, another useful weapon.
01:18:44Yes, murder was invented even before man began to think.
01:18:49Now, of course, man has become known as the thinking animal.
01:18:54The belong to the jaw of theé † of the tree.
01:18:56The cradle is of the root of the tree.
01:18:59What is that?
01:19:00The cradle is of the ascent.
01:19:02The cradle is of the pureness.
01:19:03Whereas the cradle is of the name of the tree.
01:19:05The cradle is of the 1-3-2-4-2-3-3-5-3-4-3-4-3-4-3-2-4-3-3-4-5.
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