00:00I was very confused. The sat-nav said, turn left. I knew it should be right. My wife shouted, go straight home. I turned round to tell her to shut up, turned back and saw a lollipop lady sitting on me bonnet.
00:15Oh dear, I'm grateful. And I've got to tell you, this is a true story. Last November night, a cat just in front of me, chased by a dog. I braked, but it was too late. I ran over a zebra crossing and hit the sighters.
00:45Coming round a sharp bend, I saw a cow grazing in the middle of the road. Sadly, I hit it full on and ejaculated through the sunroof.
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