00:00I'm actually full psycho and I don't sleep with a pillow.
00:05Yeah, full vampire situation, just straight on my bike.
00:13Hello AD, I'm Riz Ahmed and today I'm showing you what it is like to live at home with me.
00:21If your home had a personality, how would you describe it?
00:25So I've got to be honest here and say that I'm basically extremely nomadic.
00:31You'd be shocked if you found out how many places I've rented in the last like five years alone.
00:37Yeah, I don't really have one base for most of my adult life.
00:40I've been bouncing around a lot.
00:42So when I do get home and put down roots, I'm sure that'll be nice but also a bit weird for me.
00:47What scent is home to you?
00:49Man, the scent of home to me is my mouth just watered.
00:57It's dal.
00:58It's a really nice dal, the dal darqa, you know, which is when you take the cumin and fry it and you throw that in oil on top of the dal.
01:06It's like lentils basically.
01:08Just curry, just curry in general.
01:10You know, my mom's an amazing cook.
01:12My wife's not a bad cook either.
01:13I think I'm a good cook but everyone tells me I'm crap.
01:16Are you a shoes-on or shoes-off household?
01:22Shoes-off.
01:23Just don't bring that filth in the house, do you know what I mean?
01:25Like, are guests allowed to sit on your bed?
01:28No, of course not.
01:30You're sitting on the subway, you're wearing your jeans.
01:32We don't know what happens on the subway.
01:33Actually, we do know what happens on the subway.
01:35And so bringing that onto the bed, I just think there's a hygiene issue.
01:38There's a hygiene issue.
01:40What's the perfect house temperature?
01:42Who's in charge of the thermostat?
01:44The perfect house temperature is, I'd say, 22.5 degrees centigrade.
01:48I don't know what that is in Fahrenheit.
01:50Maybe we can run the numbers on that for our global audience.
01:53Who's in charge of it?
01:55I am.
01:56Yeah, I'm in charge of the thermostat.
01:58I think my wife, being from California, I think is much more used to air conditioning.
02:03Hasn't quite adjusted to the fact that in the UK it's generally cold.
02:06So you don't need to turn any of that one.
02:08And also save the planet and whatnot.
02:12Throw pillows, yay or nay?
02:14I'm familiar with this as a concept that some people engage in, but I do not.
02:18Even one pillow on the bed is too much for me, to be honest.
02:21And I'll tell you one thing about throw pillows.
02:23You just end up throwing them on the floor.
02:27And then they go back on the bed.
02:29Hygiene.
02:30What is your alarm?
02:33My child.
02:34Wakes me up in the morning, way before I like to be woken up.
02:37What lives on your nightstand?
02:40Something I try and keep by my nightstand is a journal.
02:45Try and just write down some things at the end of every night, just to clear out my head.
02:48Moving on.
02:49Blackout blinds or wake up with sun.
02:52Blackout blinds if I can get them.
02:54One of the best presents someone gave us when we had a kid was a white noise machine.
02:59And now, I can't sleep without a white noise machine because I'm used to my kids sleeping
03:05to the white noise machine.
03:06So I love those things, man.
03:07If you want to make money, upload a YouTube video of white noise.
03:12Uninterrupted, 10 hours.
03:13Billions of times I watch that.
03:15How often do you change the sheets once a week?
03:18Is that right?
03:19That's a normal amount, right?
03:20Suddenly felt very, very vulnerable sharing that.
03:23What's the best thing about your bedroom?
03:24As I said, I move around a lot.
03:27The place I'm in right now, there isn't much to it other than a bed.
03:31A boring answer, but just the bed.
03:35And I just want to keep the bedroom for nothing but just sleeping.
03:41What makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning?
03:45Endless.
03:48Deep.
03:52Exhaustion.
03:54So the bathroom, are you a bath or a shower person?
04:00I'm going to be honest and say, I grew up without a shower.
04:03We would bathe in a bhaaldi, which is an old school Indian thing to do.
04:07You fill up a bucket with water and you have a thing, a little jug called a lota,
04:10and you wash yourself very efficiently.
04:12Toilet seat up or down?
04:15Toilet seat definitely down.
04:16And here's another thing.
04:17When you are flushing, you have to flush with the toilet seat down.
04:21Hygiene.
04:22Again, I realise I'm sounding like a bit of a germaphobe.
04:26Maybe I am.
04:27Do you sing in the shower?
04:29I don't really sing in the shower, but I do talk to myself out loud.
04:32I do have imaginary conversations with myself and imaginary conversations with other people.
04:37I don't know why I do that.
04:38And it's my wife who drew my attention to that habit.
04:41But I stand by it.
04:43Bidet, yay or nay?
04:45I don't have a bidet.
04:46I do respect Japanese toilets.
04:49I was reading an article about how it's become a, you know, it's going global now.
04:52But growing up, we would use Lortas.
04:55If you don't know what a Lorta is, look it up.
04:58If you do know, then you know.
05:00Lorta is the OG B-day.
05:04What do you have the most of in your closet?
05:08Jackets.
05:08Got too many jackets.
05:10You know, it's the thing that you keep on in London as well.
05:12That was the, like, flashiest thing you could get.
05:14New fake Versace jacket from Wembley Market.
05:18What's the most nostalgic item in your closet?
05:21I think the most nostalgic item is a Shirvani that my dad wore.
05:25Shirvani is kind of South Asian formal where it's white raw silk Shirvani that my dad got married in.
05:31And I got married in that same Shirvani.
05:36Coffee or tea?
05:37I never touched caffeine.
05:39After becoming a dad, it's like, okay, I will, I have to have caffeine.
05:43So I've started defaulting to just a classic black tea.
05:47I just take it with nothing else.
05:49Hits the spot.
05:50How long is it okay to leave dirty dishes in the sink?
05:53Well, it depends who you ask.
05:55If you ask my wife, she'll say a week.
05:57If you ask me, I'll say a day.
05:59I think, man, after two days, it's, something's up.
06:04Do you know what I mean?
06:05Like, emotionally, something's up.
06:06And other than running the dishes, you need maybe to speak to a therapist.
06:11Home-cooked meal or takeout?
06:13I love home-cooked meals.
06:16I love it when we do get a chance to cook.
06:19Embarrassing.
06:19I used to just be like, protein powder, avocado, banana, almond butter, a couple of berries, random vegetable.
06:26Put it in a blender.
06:27That's my meal.
06:28And then I met my wife, and she said, this has to stop.
06:33What do you do most in this space?
06:36TV, read, party, nap, board games.
06:41Let me tell you what I would love to do in my living room.
06:44I would love to play games, play mafia.
06:46My dream, like, night is, like, dinner at home, cooked meal, dinner at home with friends,
06:51and then intense mafia session where everyone falls out with each other by the end of it.
06:58Do you have any special mementos from your films slash albums?
07:03You know, the thing I kept from Relay was a jacket.
07:06There's a very nice kind of multicolored leather jacket in the film
07:11that accidentally found its way into my closet.
07:13Do you listen to music throughout the house?
07:15If so, how?
07:17I love having some music on.
07:19In the morning, it really helps me wake up.
07:20And right now, I'm listening to a lot of kind of 1970s Lollywood,
07:24like Pakistani film music from the 70s,
07:27and kind of Bollywood disco from the 80s.
07:29Artists like Asha Bosley, Nahe Dukhtar, Taffo Brothers.
07:34There was just this amazing kind of psychedelic, crazy, neon kitsch.
07:39The office slash studio.
07:40Do you have a home office or music studio?
07:42I don't right now.
07:44I would love to.
07:45I guess less of an office because I don't like the idea of like sitting down.
07:48And I'd like a space where I could just walk around and prepare my work,
07:52put my script on like, print it out in like double size font
07:55and put it on a music stand so I can read it from further away.
07:58And I'd like to move around when I'm preparing my work.
08:01So that would be a dream.
08:03And that's a good idea, AD.
08:05Thank you so much, AD.
08:09Hopefully that's given you a little bit of an insight into my nomadic life.
08:12So if you ever do stop by, you know the rules.
08:15Shoes off.
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