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Reezax
  • 2 weeks ago
Good Girls Gone Wild
Transcript
00:00:00Not bad.
00:00:30Hello? Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:34I mean, it's only two days away and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:38So, I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:42Me too. Um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:46Um, I think I'm gonna spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:49Uh, I'm gonna lose my virginity to him. You know, I wanna surprise him.
00:00:54What? But you can't. I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:00Besides, you can't do that to us. You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:04This is bad. You know, I'm gonna tell Lexi. She's gonna be very unhappy about this.
00:01:16Come on, Lexi.
00:01:30So girls, what are we gonna do for our birthday?
00:01:34Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something in.
00:01:38But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:40I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:44But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:47So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:49Mushrooms?
00:01:51No, not like that. Like something nice.
00:01:54Like maybe a trip.
00:01:56Like a mushroom trip?
00:01:58No.
00:02:01Sorry, Sue. I have a date.
00:02:03So do I.
00:02:05Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:08Oh, flowers. Are these from you?
00:02:21Yeah, sure.
00:02:23Here you go.
00:02:25No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:28I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:30I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:36Oh, Jake.
00:02:41Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:44Uh, no, Jake. Not yet.
00:02:46When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:48The best night of my life.
00:02:50It will be. I promise.
00:02:52It'll always be amazing. With you and me. Together.
00:03:00Jake, no. I have to go. I have to work on my art project.
00:03:07You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:10but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:13Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:17This Saturday?
00:03:18Of course.
00:03:22Thanks.
00:03:25Okay. Bye.
00:03:30Oh, baby. You're so hot. I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:40Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:41Yeah.
00:03:42What was your name again?
00:03:43Right.
00:03:44Sex guy.
00:03:49Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:52Yeah, right. I bet.
00:04:00Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:04Oh, no.
00:04:05Does not compute.
00:04:07Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:13Oh, huh. Hi.
00:04:16When did you go home?
00:04:17So, is it true?
00:04:18Yes, it is.
00:04:20It's just...
00:04:21It's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:24I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:04:29and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:31So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:34Lexi, tell her.
00:04:35Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:37we should all face together.
00:04:39On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:41Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,
00:04:43or maybe even, like, our 28th.
00:04:47Maybe.
00:04:48Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but...
00:04:53I'm sorry.
00:04:57I know it's tradition, but...
00:04:59I'm sorry.
00:05:05But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:08We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:11Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:14It's not Jake.
00:05:16It's the male ideal.
00:05:18Like...
00:05:19a Greek god, or...
00:05:21Sue's dad.
00:05:22Right.
00:05:24Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:26I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:27I'm not really an artist.
00:05:28Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:30Point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:33on the same day.
00:05:34And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:36I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:38And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:39Look, I can go either way.
00:05:41I mean, I'm fine with just...
00:05:4369, 79, anal...
00:05:46I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:49Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:52But, if you want to do it this year, then...
00:05:56Maybe we all should.
00:05:58You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:04Where are you going if it's 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:07To church.
00:06:08To pray for you.
00:06:09Wanna be first in line.
00:06:11I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:14Yeah, me too.
00:06:23Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:26It's been four days since my last confession.
00:06:28I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:30Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:06:36It's about sex.
00:06:37I mean, not me.
00:06:41I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:43I've never even seen a guy as...
00:06:47Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:50But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:54But there was nothing there.
00:06:58Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:00My best friends.
00:07:02They're gonna do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:04Okay.
00:07:05Third base.
00:07:06What?
00:07:07No.
00:07:08Like, sex.
00:07:09Like, intercourse?
00:07:10With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:11I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:12If you know what I mean.
00:07:13All the way.
00:07:14Go all the way.
00:07:15What are you?
00:07:16How could you do so?
00:07:17You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:18What?
00:07:39Yes, yes.
00:07:40Run, run!
00:07:44Damn it. Fucking Yankees. Sorry.
00:07:50Come on.
00:08:12Sue, it is 1pm. Would you have a little consideration? I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:18Geez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:22I have an announcement to make. I want to do it. Do you hear me? I want to do it.
00:08:29This weekend. On our birthday. Do what?
00:08:34It. Screw. Screwing. Boning. Making the beast with two backs. Shagging. Fucking.
00:08:43You do. But what about all your religious stuff? And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:50Oh, I got a sign. At church.
00:08:52Really? Well, okay, great. We're all in then. So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there. Right?
00:09:03I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:15Hey, Frank.
00:09:17Oh, hi, Sue.
00:09:19Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:21I don't know. Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:23Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:25Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:31Let me be back.
00:09:33Hey. Um, I was wondering. We're throwing this party tomorrow night. It's for our birthdays. Do you want to come?
00:09:40Do you think he can see up my shore?
00:09:51Well, the house looks done. Tomorrow's a big day. We finally turn 18. And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:03Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:06So, okay. We know who Cheryl's gonna do it with. Jake. And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:11But Sue, who are you gonna pick?
00:10:13To pop your chain.
00:10:14That's easy. I've known for the past six years. Ever since Catechism.
00:10:18What the fuck is Catechism?
00:10:22I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:24Sure.
00:10:33My soulmate.
00:10:36Chris?
00:10:38Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup. I mean...
00:10:43What? No, Chris is perfect. He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:48Plus, his name's Chris. It's a sign.
00:10:50Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:10:55What? He does not. Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:10:59He looks just like Justin Bieber. With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:05Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:07Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:10Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:13See you in the morning.
00:11:15I knew it would happen someday. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:25Cool.
00:11:27Tалиy Bhattом
00:11:28Sniper
00:11:29One
00:11:30Two
00:11:31Five
00:11:33Big
00:11:35Big
00:11:38Big
00:11:39Big
00:11:40Big
00:11:41Pig
00:11:42Big
00:11:43Big
00:11:45Big
00:11:46Big
00:11:46Big
00:11:48Big
00:11:50Six
00:11:51Big
00:11:53You're so perfect.
00:12:23I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:48Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:52Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:22Oh my gosh, they're coming.
00:13:28Lexi!
00:13:29Cheryl!
00:13:30Hurry!
00:13:31Ew!
00:13:32Why?
00:13:33It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:37It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:38I'm gonna suppress him.
00:13:39You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:41He's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:43It's stupid.
00:13:44Just screw him.
00:13:45That's what he wants.
00:13:46That's what all guys want.
00:13:47Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:49Oh, Christ.
00:13:50And I have your mouth, too.
00:13:52Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:13:57You're an idiot.
00:13:58A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:02Guys, seriously, come on.
00:14:03Hurry up.
00:14:04Oh!
00:14:05Oh, what a cool bracelet!
00:14:08I love it!
00:14:09Um...
00:14:10You should put that down, though, because it's like-
00:14:12It's very fragile.
00:14:13Yeah.
00:14:14Okay.
00:14:15Set it down.
00:14:16Hurry up!
00:14:17Bye!
00:14:18Those are your anal beats, right?
00:14:19Yeah.
00:14:20Okay, that's how.
00:14:21Hurry up!
00:14:22Bye!
00:14:23Yeah.
00:14:24Those are your anal beats, right?
00:14:25Yeah.
00:14:26Okay, that's how.
00:14:27Woo!
00:14:28It's putting it down!
00:14:29Oh, jeez!
00:14:30Whoa!
00:14:31Hold up!
00:14:32Oh, jeez!
00:14:33Oh, jeez!
00:14:34Whoa!
00:14:35Hold up!
00:14:36Oh, jeez!
00:14:37Oh, jeez!
00:14:38Oh, jeez!
00:14:39Oh, jeez!
00:14:40Oh, jeez!
00:14:41Oh, jeez!
00:14:42Oh, jeez!
00:14:43Oh, jeez!
00:14:44Oh, jeez!
00:14:45Oh, jeez!
00:14:46Oh, jeez!
00:14:47Whoa!
00:14:48Hold up!
00:14:49Oh, we're gonna have some fun!
00:14:51Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts!
00:14:52Nice!
00:14:53Nice!
00:14:54Good studies!
00:14:55Oh!
00:14:56Oh!
00:14:57Oh!
00:14:58Oh!
00:14:59Oh!
00:15:02Happy birthday, Lex!
00:15:04Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:08That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:12And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:15Oh, how did you know?
00:15:17I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:18I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:19Oh, no!
00:15:24Bless you, you're such a cutie!
00:15:26Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:28Okay, sorry.
00:15:29Are you okay now?
00:15:30Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:31You too.
00:15:32Okay.
00:15:33See you later.
00:15:34All right.
00:15:35I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:37This is seriously...
00:15:38Oh, wait, I have to...
00:15:39Jake!
00:15:40Hi!
00:15:41Hey, babe.
00:15:42Happy birthday.
00:15:43Happy birthday.
00:15:44Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:48What?
00:15:49You want a beer?
00:15:53No.
00:15:57Oh, hon.
00:15:58Yeah.
00:15:59I have your present here.
00:16:03I'll give it to you later.
00:16:04The time's right.
00:16:05Aw.
00:16:06You didn't have to get me anything.
00:16:08And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:13Hey, bro.
00:16:14We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:18A little bet.
00:16:20All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:24Hey.
00:16:25Hey.
00:16:26How you doing?
00:16:27Good.
00:16:36Check it out!
00:16:39Dare me?
00:16:43Look at the doggies.
00:16:44Oh, dude, look at those.
00:16:45Are those real?
00:16:46I don't...
00:16:47Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:16:48Hey!
00:16:49Ah, dude, move!
00:16:50Come on, lame!
00:16:51Oh, all right.
00:16:52Okay.
00:16:53I'll see you guys later.
00:16:54Go do some push-ups or something.
00:16:55Aw, the moves.
00:16:5620 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those titties.
00:16:58Yeah!
00:16:59Yeah!
00:17:00They're fake anyways.
00:17:01Who cares?
00:17:02Okay.
00:17:03Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:04I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:06Sue, no!
00:17:07It's your birthday.
00:17:08Here, let me.
00:17:09Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:17:10What?
00:17:11I win.
00:17:12Okay.
00:17:13I win.
00:17:14I'm not.
00:17:15I'm not.
00:17:16You're not.
00:17:17I'm not.
00:17:18I'm not.
00:17:19I'm not.
00:17:20I'm not.
00:17:21I'm not.
00:17:22I'm not.
00:17:23I'm not.
00:17:24I'm not.
00:17:25I'm not.
00:17:26I'm not.
00:17:27I'm not.
00:17:28I'm not.
00:17:29I'm not.
00:17:30I'm not.
00:17:31I'm not.
00:17:32I'm not.
00:17:33I win.
00:17:36Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:38I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:42Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:43I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:44He just, like, disappeared.
00:17:58Are these real?
00:17:59Of course they are.
00:18:01How come I haven't met you before?
00:18:04I don't know.
00:18:05Maybe you just don't be around.
00:18:06Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:07Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:10Maybe upstairs.
00:18:11I don't know.
00:18:12Oh.
00:18:13Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:15That's probably where he went.
00:18:17Oh, well.
00:18:21Liquid Courage?
00:18:22Yeah.
00:18:23Atta girl.
00:18:27Vodka Cranberry?
00:18:28Shirley Temple.
00:18:31Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:33I can go meet her dad.
00:18:35Sue?
00:18:36Are you okay?
00:18:37Sue?
00:18:38Relax.
00:18:40They're just my eyes.
00:18:41Okay.
00:18:42Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:43Seriously.
00:18:44Gonna be fine.
00:18:45Is Chris here?
00:18:51Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:53No.
00:18:54He does not have gay face.
00:18:56I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:18:58I'm gonna do it.
00:18:59I'm gonna do it.
00:19:00I'm gonna do this.
00:19:01Come back.
00:19:02Oh, God.
00:19:03Hey, you can do this.
00:19:04Just act like a slut.
00:19:05Oh.
00:19:06Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:07I'm gonna do it.
00:19:08I'm gonna do it.
00:19:09I'm gonna do it.
00:19:10I'm gonna do this.
00:19:11Come back.
00:19:12Oh, God.
00:19:13Hey, you can do this.
00:19:14Just act like a slut.
00:19:16Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:17Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Glory.
00:19:19Chris.
00:19:20Hi.
00:19:21Can I talk to you?
00:19:22Uh-huh.
00:19:23In private?
00:19:24Oh.
00:19:25Oh.
00:19:26Oh.
00:19:27Oh.
00:19:28Oh.
00:19:29Oh.
00:19:30Oh.
00:19:31Oh.
00:19:32Oh.
00:19:33Oh.
00:19:34Oh.
00:19:35Oh.
00:19:36Oh.
00:19:37Oh.
00:19:38Oh.
00:19:39Oh.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:41Oh.
00:19:42Oh.
00:19:43Oh.
00:19:44Hey, Lexi.
00:19:45Hey, Lexi.
00:19:46Hey, Lexi.
00:19:47What?
00:19:48Chris.
00:19:49You're so sexy.
00:19:50Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:09And I really want to...
00:20:12Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:15Is that wrong?
00:20:16Sue!
00:20:17What's gotten into you?
00:20:18Nothing.
00:20:19I'm sorry.
00:20:20I don't know how to do this.
00:20:21Sue.
00:20:23Sue.
00:20:24Sue.
00:20:26I understand these urges.
00:20:30And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:34Really?
00:20:35You do?
00:20:36I do.
00:20:37I really do.
00:20:39I like you too.
00:20:40I do.
00:20:41Really?
00:20:42You do?
00:20:43I do.
00:20:44I really do.
00:20:45It's just...
00:20:47I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:51Right.
00:20:52Lexi said you were...
00:20:53Jesus.
00:20:54Oh.
00:20:55That man.
00:20:56Of course.
00:20:57What did you think?
00:20:59Oh, nothing.
00:21:00So we can still do this then?
00:21:03Oh, Sue.
00:21:05You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loin cloth, growing so hot.
00:21:34I'm so sweaty under that hot, hot sun.
00:21:40I just feel such compassion.
00:21:43I think about those things too.
00:21:45So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:49Not really.
00:21:50I just find it too hard.
00:21:52It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:00It's so...
00:22:01You're going to go out there, right?
00:22:02Andy, we're going to tell him to be fun.
00:22:03Jake.
00:22:04Hey, hi.
00:22:05Whoa!
00:22:06Have you seen Jake?
00:22:07Uh, no.
00:22:08No.
00:22:09No.
00:22:10Okay.
00:22:11Okay.
00:22:12Okay.
00:22:13All right, focus, focus, focus.
00:22:19Oh, there he is.
00:22:33Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:46How could he?
00:22:47Sue, what happened?
00:22:48Did you guys do it?
00:22:49Sue?
00:22:50He doesn't want me.
00:22:51Because he's gay.
00:22:52No, he's not.
00:22:53He just really loves Jesus.
00:22:54Oh, come on, Sue.
00:22:55The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:00Look, the only way you are going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know what kind of woman you really are, deep inside.
00:23:05What?
00:23:06Come with me.
00:23:07Where?
00:23:08Where?
00:23:09To meet your dark side.
00:23:10Lead everything.
00:23:11Lead everything.
00:23:12Out.
00:23:13Everyone out.
00:23:14No.
00:23:15No.
00:23:16No.
00:23:17No.
00:23:18No.
00:23:19No.
00:23:20No.
00:23:21No.
00:23:22No.
00:23:23No.
00:23:24No.
00:23:25No.
00:23:26No.
00:23:27No.
00:23:28No.
00:23:29No.
00:23:30No.
00:23:31No.
00:23:32No.
00:23:33No.
00:23:34No.
00:23:35No.
00:23:36No.
00:23:37No.
00:23:38No.
00:23:39No.
00:23:40No.
00:23:41No.
00:23:42No.
00:23:43No.
00:23:44No.
00:23:45No.
00:23:46No.
00:23:47No.
00:23:48No.
00:23:49No.
00:23:50No.
00:23:51No.
00:23:52No.
00:23:53No.
00:23:54No.
00:23:55No.
00:23:56No.
00:23:57No.
00:23:58No.
00:23:59No.
00:24:00No.
00:24:01No.
00:24:02No.
00:24:03No.
00:24:04No.
00:24:05I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:10I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:15Sue?
00:24:16Can you see it?
00:24:18Sue?
00:24:22I'm almost...
00:24:24I'm almost there.
00:24:30What?
00:24:32What?
00:24:33Sue, what happened? What did you see?
00:24:35A raccoon?
00:24:36What?
00:24:38You overshot it. Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:47I can't. Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:50Okay, fine. Fine.
00:24:52I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:55What?
00:24:56You really need an orgasm.
00:24:59Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else
00:25:02when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:25:04This really has to be your first step.
00:25:06Les, I'm waiting.
00:25:08Coming.
00:25:09Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:11Just find it and use it.
00:25:13Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:16It's black. It vibrates.
00:25:20Come on, Rod. Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:23Don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:26Come back.
00:25:27Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:28Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:29Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:30Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:31Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:32Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:33Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:34Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:35Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:36Bum-ba-dum.
00:25:37Hey cutie. Cutie.
00:25:43Ah!
00:25:44Bums-eye!
00:25:46Ha. Ha. Ha.
00:25:48Yay!
00:25:51Hang... bang, bang.
00:25:54Good boy.
00:25:55Straighten up!
00:25:56Good boy, good boy.
00:25:59He knows over 100 commands.
00:26:02I'm just sorry. He can't see anything.
00:26:04That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:06What a bitch.
00:26:08Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:34Oh, shit.
00:26:43What's wrong with this thing?
00:27:02Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:03Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:06He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:10For sure?
00:27:11I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:15That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:18I know. It's awful.
00:27:20I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:28It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:31Okay.
00:27:33Uh, he's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:36Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:38Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:40No, you can't just leave.
00:27:42Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:46No. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again. Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:27:53I'm leaving.
00:27:55I'm leaving.
00:27:56Revenge sex.
00:27:57Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:27:59It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:06Revenge sex.
00:28:07Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:10It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:14But he- I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would- he's just into other girls.
00:28:20Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:22Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him. To his ego. To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:30Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:34No, I- I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's- there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:40Eric! He's perfect!
00:28:43Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:28:45I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:28:49Really? And what type is that?
00:28:51Slutty.
00:28:53Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this very tongue ring.
00:28:58Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:29:02Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else. Someone that I haven't.
00:29:07Fooled around with him.
00:29:11Okay, what does it matter that I've fooled around with him? I mean, I think you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:16No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:18Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:23to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:29:28and you chose not to do it, go ahead. But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:35I don't know.
00:29:39But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:43I don't know.
00:29:44Trust me. It's going to work.
00:29:51I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:55Bye, Cheryl.
00:29:57Oh, no!
00:29:59Hey.
00:30:12Happy birthday.
00:30:14Thanks.
00:30:29Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:42So...
00:30:44Happy birthday.
00:30:47Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:51But it's actually from us. U.S.
00:30:54America?
00:30:55United States?
00:30:58I know where we live.
00:30:59Right.
00:31:00Of course.
00:31:05I know where we live.
00:31:06Right.
00:31:07Of course.
00:31:12Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:15Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:16Yeah, no, I can totally move. I just...
00:31:18No, you're fine.
00:31:19You're fine.
00:31:31Jake!
00:31:34So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:37Oh, I'm sorry. It? What, um...
00:31:41It. Like monkey boning and like pigs in a blanket. Get real nasty.
00:31:46Oh! Oh, you mean like, uh...
00:31:51Right now?
00:31:53I mean, well, yeah. You know, the sooner the better.
00:31:57Yeah, sure. I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:32:00Um, I just never realized that you...
00:32:02I mean...
00:32:04Whew.
00:32:06Uh...
00:32:08It's just...
00:32:10You're so...
00:32:12You're so beautiful.
00:32:13Okay, um...
00:32:15Hmm?
00:32:16Uh, no cuisine.
00:32:18Right, um...
00:32:20Of course.
00:32:21Sorry?
00:32:24So, um...
00:32:26Do you wanna unwrap me?
00:32:29Oh, wow. Uh...
00:32:31You're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket, or...
00:32:33Leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:35Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:37You're fresh.
00:32:39You're fresh.
00:32:41Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:43Uh, you're fresh.
00:32:45Organic.
00:32:47Yep.
00:32:49So, the wrap.
00:32:50Right.
00:32:52Um...
00:32:54Where's the, uh...
00:32:56It's, uh, the end that I just like right over here.
00:32:57Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:32:58Yeah.
00:32:59That's where I see it.
00:33:00Um, let me just, uh...
00:33:02Ow, ow, ow!
00:33:03Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:33:04I, um...
00:33:06It's okay.
00:33:07Do it again.
00:33:09Sorry, I, uh...
00:33:10I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult to...
00:33:12You know what?
00:33:13Let me just...
00:33:14Lay on the bed.
00:33:16Okay.
00:33:21Uh...
00:33:22Let me just...
00:33:23See...
00:33:25Oh, here it is! I got it!
00:33:26Alright, um...
00:33:28Let me just...
00:33:30Oh, gee! Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:35You okay?
00:33:36Uh...
00:33:39Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:42Oh, jeez!
00:33:43Uh...
00:33:45Uh...
00:33:47Uh...
00:33:49Well, that was stupid.
00:33:53Yeah.
00:33:54Uh...
00:33:55Ha!
00:33:56Ha!
00:33:58How you doing, Snud?
00:33:59Good, Jake.
00:34:00You having a good time?
00:34:01Yeah?
00:34:02Good?
00:34:03Jake!
00:34:04I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:06What?
00:34:07I can't hear you!
00:34:09You need another beer.
00:34:11Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:12Jake!
00:34:13So are you weird?
00:34:14Up...stairs!
00:34:15Yeah.
00:34:16Hold on.
00:34:17Take a piss.
00:34:18Much beer.
00:34:19Yeah!
00:34:20Bad girl, you got a...
00:34:21Bad brain
00:34:23Running brown pills
00:34:24I've been down in it's head
00:34:26No, you're buying a bottle
00:34:27What the hell do you do?
00:34:28You just cry for one
00:34:30And see what makes it take me away
00:34:32Oh!
00:34:33Oh!
00:34:34Ah!
00:34:35Ah!
00:34:36Ah!
00:34:37Ah!
00:34:38Ah!
00:34:39Ah!
00:34:40Ah!
00:34:41Ah!
00:34:47Finally!
00:34:48I, uh...
00:34:50Let me just get the blinds
00:34:51Oh!
00:34:52No, no, no!
00:34:53Um...
00:34:54Don't worry about it
00:34:55What?
00:34:56I mean, I want us to be able to see each other
00:35:00Oh!
00:35:02Well, okay
00:35:03Okay?
00:35:04Okay
00:35:18Finally!
00:35:19I, uh...
00:35:20Let me just get the blinds
00:35:22Oh!
00:35:23No, no, no!
00:35:24Um...
00:35:25Don't worry about it
00:35:26What?
00:35:27I mean, I want us to be able to see each other
00:35:31Oh!
00:35:33Well, okay
00:35:34Okay
00:35:35Mmm...
00:36:02What are you doing?
00:36:03Uh...
00:36:04I think it's time...
00:36:05You know, to...
00:36:06Do it
00:36:07Um...
00:36:08Not yet, more foreplay
00:36:09Huh?
00:36:10Oh!
00:36:11Oh!
00:36:12Oh!
00:36:13Oh!
00:36:14Oh!
00:36:15Oh!
00:36:16Oh!
00:36:17Oh!
00:36:18Oh!
00:36:19Oh!
00:36:20Oh!
00:36:21Oh!
00:36:22Oh!
00:36:23Oh!
00:36:24Oh!
00:36:25Oh!
00:36:26Oh!
00:36:27Oh!
00:36:29Ah!
00:36:30Oh!
00:36:31Gold, aah!
00:36:32Ah!
00:36:33It's so good.
00:36:40Oh.
00:36:42Yep.
00:36:43Oh, my God.
00:36:45Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:47What? What?
00:36:48Ah, ah, oh.
00:36:49Ah, dear.
00:36:51Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:52Is that even a thing?
00:36:55I don't know.
00:36:57Ah.
00:36:58Are you okay?
00:36:59No, no, no, no, it's, uh, it's fine.
00:37:04I'm just, uh, embarrassed.
00:37:07It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:37:13You sure you're okay?
00:37:15Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:16Okay, great. Have fun.
00:37:18Oh.
00:37:21Ah.
00:37:23Now. Now, let's do it now.
00:37:25No, no, not yet, not yet.
00:37:26Oh, no.
00:37:29I'm gonna come.
00:37:30No, no, not yet, not yet.
00:37:32No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:34No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:35Lexi! Lexi!
00:37:37Oh, shh!
00:37:38Ugh!
00:37:41Oh, no.
00:37:41No, no, no, not yet.
00:37:42Lexi! Lexi!
00:37:44Oh, shh!
00:37:46No news, no!
00:37:48Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:49I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:37:50It's been a really long time,
00:37:52and I just haven't masturbated for anything.
00:37:57Uh-uh.
00:37:59Oh, hey Jake.
00:38:01How you doing?
00:38:03How you doing?
00:38:05How's it going? Good.
00:38:07Eric? Help!
00:38:09Eric, help me! I'm glad I can't see anything!
00:38:13Yippie!
00:38:17Cheryl's in here!
00:38:23Sup, bruh?
00:38:25What the fuck is-
00:38:27Hey, wait!
00:38:29Lex, a minute. Still waiting.
00:38:37Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:41Damn it.
00:38:43I'm gonna save something to that bitch.
00:38:45Hey, you!
00:38:47You better stop making fun of the blind
00:38:49or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:51Help!
00:38:53I'm so sorry!
00:38:55I'll never make fun of the blind again!
00:38:57Hey!
00:38:59Hey!
00:39:01Hey!
00:39:03Hey!
00:39:05Hey, what the hell?
00:39:07Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:23This party's ass.
00:39:27Yeah.
00:39:31This just isn't working.
00:39:34Nothing.
00:39:35It's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway.
00:39:41Try to get rid of the logistics.
00:39:43Spark it up.
00:39:44All right.
00:39:45Yes.
00:39:48Oh, man.
00:39:50I love this game.
00:39:51Where's the controllers?
00:39:51We got to play here, here, here, here.
00:39:53OK, I think I'm in a little.
00:39:57Woo!
00:39:59Look at this.
00:40:03Oh, man.
00:40:04Get that thing away, jeez.
00:40:05Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:40:09Ah.
00:40:10Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:40:14Spark it down.
00:40:15Look at me.
00:40:20Whoa, whoa, nice.
00:40:23Are you sitting on that or something?
00:40:25Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:40:27Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:29Nice, nice.
00:40:30Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:41Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:43Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha?
00:40:47Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:40:52Whoa!
00:40:53You are the controller.
00:40:54No, I just.
00:40:55I didn't, I swear, I.
00:40:59You know?
00:41:00All right.
00:41:10She came over right and was like, don't leave.
00:41:12Hey, Sue.
00:41:13Come on, man.
00:41:17It's okay.
00:41:18Hey, Sue.
00:41:19Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:31Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:33Oh, sure.
00:41:35Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:40You were?
00:41:42You mean...
00:41:44Yeah.
00:41:46So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:51Could we go get a drink?
00:41:55Wow, your toilet's really...
00:41:59You know what?
00:42:01I gotta go.
00:42:02Happy birthday.
00:42:03No, Chris.
00:42:04No, there wasn't...
00:42:05I didn't...
00:42:06God, never mind.
00:42:16Yes.
00:42:19Please.
00:42:20This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:22Never going to have sex.
00:42:24Ow.
00:42:25I should go out.
00:42:26Okay.
00:42:44Hello?
00:42:45A little attention here.
00:42:47Oh yeah, sorry.
00:42:48Sorry.
00:42:54Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:56Alright. Sorry.
00:43:10Jeez.
00:43:12Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:14Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:16Screw it.
00:43:46Stop.
00:43:48Stop.
00:43:50Stop.
00:43:52Stop.
00:43:54Oh.
00:43:56Oh.
00:43:58No. That was bad.
00:44:00That was so bad.
00:44:02Oh.
00:44:14Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:18I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:22Hey.
00:44:24Does your name start with a J?
00:44:26Yes, it does.
00:44:28So you're JJ?
00:44:30Uh-uh.
00:44:32Uh-oh.
00:44:34Oh.
00:44:36Oh.
00:44:38Hello.
00:44:40Welcome to 1-900 Confess.
00:44:42Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:44:44A nun.
00:44:46Please punch in your credit card number.
00:44:48Please hold.
00:44:501-900 Confession.
00:44:52How may I be of service?
00:44:54It's been one day since my last confession.
00:44:56Hello.
00:44:57Welcome to 1-900 Confess.
00:44:58Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:00A nun.
00:45:01Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:07Please hold.
00:45:131-900 Confession.
00:45:14How may I be of service?
00:45:16It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:18I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:20One day?
00:45:28Is that too long?
00:45:30I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:32Go on.
00:45:34Um, okay.
00:45:35Well, I've been touching myself.
00:45:37Inappropriately.
00:45:38Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:45:40What's her problem?
00:45:42A washing machine touched her.
00:45:46Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:49Alright, freak.
00:45:50Time's up.
00:45:51What?
00:45:52But what do I do?
00:45:53Just unplug the thing.
00:45:54No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:45:57Well, then be happy.
00:45:59You found the perfect man.
00:46:01I'm serious!
00:46:02Look, honey.
00:46:03You seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:06I'll tell you this.
00:46:08Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:11No contritions?
00:46:13You broke no covenant with God.
00:46:14It's not in the Bible.
00:46:15So, the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:19Like, morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:22Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:24Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:27Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:30Huh.
00:46:31God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:33He sure is.
00:46:34Now run along.
00:46:36Wow.
00:46:37How do you know all that?
00:46:42Because I'm a nun.
00:46:43Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:46Huh.
00:46:47Accidental masturbation.
00:46:48Who'da thunk?
00:46:49Revenge sex.
00:46:50What a stupid fucking idiot.
00:46:51God, I'm getting out of here.
00:46:52Yeah, admit it.
00:46:53I've got no game.
00:46:54I guess I just get to eat.
00:46:55I guess I don't feel good.
00:46:57You know?
00:46:58Fucking douchebag.
00:46:59Damn it.
00:47:00I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:01You go, girl.
00:47:02What?
00:47:03What?
00:47:04What?
00:47:05What?
00:47:06What?
00:47:07What?
00:47:08What?
00:47:09What?
00:47:10What?
00:47:11What?
00:47:12What?
00:47:13What?
00:47:14What?
00:47:15What?
00:47:16What?
00:47:17What?
00:47:18What?
00:47:19What?
00:47:20What?
00:47:21What?
00:47:22What?
00:47:23What?
00:47:24What are you doing here?
00:47:27We needed someplace private.
00:47:29But hey, listen.
00:47:30If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:32Yeah?
00:47:33If you want someone great.
00:47:34I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:38No offense.
00:47:40Frank.
00:47:41The blind guy?
00:47:42Really?
00:47:43I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:46I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:49It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:52It was like we used all our senses.
00:47:55Everything.
00:47:58If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:01Alright.
00:48:08What about him?
00:48:09Jeremy.
00:48:10Jeremy.
00:48:11Oh yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:13Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:15I don't know his last name though.
00:48:17It's Jones.
00:48:19Jeremy Jones.
00:48:20This all makes sense.
00:48:22Excuse me.
00:48:23Jeremy!
00:48:24Hi.
00:48:25Hey.
00:48:26Who's on the phone?
00:48:28Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:30You'll meet her.
00:48:31I'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:33Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:48:35Yeah.
00:48:40Oh.
00:48:41Hi, Frank.
00:48:42Sit.
00:48:43Oh, you meant...
00:48:58You meant the dog.
00:49:00Relax.
00:49:01You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:10Oh, I'm, I'm relaxed, I'm fine.
00:49:15Then why are you biting your nail?
00:49:17I'm not.
00:49:21How did you know that?
00:49:25Corner.
00:49:29Sit.
00:49:31Roll over.
00:49:35Oh, you mean me?
00:49:38Roll over.
00:49:40Oh, you mean me?
00:49:43Oh, how do you, how do you want me to...
00:49:46Just like that.
00:49:47I know, I...
00:49:58Oh, oh.
00:49:59I shouldn't even be doing this, but considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:04Okay.
00:50:08Oh.
00:50:11See me with your hands.
00:50:16Alright.
00:50:17Uh...
00:50:24You know, I should really, I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:27Really.
00:50:28Oh.
00:50:29Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:41Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:56Frank.
00:50:57Frank.
00:50:58Oh.
00:51:01Oh, Frank.
00:51:02You know what, man?
00:51:03Look, give me a chip.
00:51:17My chips, phone boy.
00:51:18Dude, give me a chip, man.
00:51:19My chips.
00:51:20Dude.
00:51:21My chip.
00:51:22Dude, give me a chip.
00:51:23Dude, give me a chip, phone boy.
00:51:24Dude, give me a chip, phone boy.
00:51:25Dude, give me a chip, man.
00:51:26Dude, give me a chip, man.
00:51:27My chips.
00:51:29Dude.
00:51:30My chip.
00:51:31Dude.
00:51:32Give me a chip.
00:51:33Dude.
00:51:34Give me a chip.
00:51:35Dude.
00:51:36My chips.
00:51:38Guys.
00:51:39Why are you making such a mess?
00:51:41Sorry.
00:51:42It's just a case of accidental masturbation, that's all.
00:51:52I don't want to let me do this.
00:51:57Go ahead.
00:51:58I got it.
00:51:59No, I got it.
00:52:00No, really.
00:52:01Please.
00:52:02I want to help.
00:52:03Please.
00:52:04Okay, everybody out.
00:52:06Leave.
00:52:07I have to vacuum.
00:52:09You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:22They're over here.
00:52:23I see some dust over here.
00:52:26It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:32It's a dirty floor.
00:52:35It's such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:39And I just...
00:52:56Okay.
00:52:57I think I got all that.
00:52:58I'm just gonna...
00:52:59I'll see you.
00:53:00Oh, dude.
00:53:01We got it.
00:53:02Oh, here's the chips.
00:53:03Oh, Frankie.
00:53:04Oh, my.
00:53:05Oh.
00:53:06What was that?
00:53:07What?
00:53:08Oh, shit.
00:53:09Oh, man.
00:53:10We got a smoke.
00:53:11Oh, we can smoke it here.
00:53:12Stop.
00:53:13Frank.
00:53:14Stop teasing Frank.
00:53:15Oh, my.
00:53:16What was that?
00:53:17What?
00:53:18Oh, shit.
00:53:19Oh, man.
00:53:20We got a smoke.
00:53:21Oh, we can smoke it here.
00:53:22Stop.
00:53:23Frank.
00:53:24Stop teasing Frank.
00:53:25Oh, shit.
00:53:26Sorry, man.
00:53:27We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:28Oh, I heard something.
00:53:29You want to join us?
00:53:30Uh, no.
00:53:31Come on.
00:53:32You got to do it.
00:53:33Come on.
00:53:34Seriously.
00:53:35Where's your dog, man?
00:53:36What's it like being blinded?
00:53:37It's tripping.
00:53:38Frank?
00:53:39Frank?
00:53:40Are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:42Bro, you are...
00:53:44too...
00:53:45too...
00:53:46too...
00:53:47too...
00:53:48too...
00:53:49too...
00:53:50too...
00:53:51too...
00:53:52too...
00:53:53funny.
00:53:54Thanks, man.
00:53:55Ooh, this is some good stuff.
00:53:56I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:53:57Dude.
00:53:58I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:53:59Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:54:00I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:01Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:02This is some good shit.
00:54:03This is some good shit.
00:54:04Oh, no.
00:54:05You're the devil.
00:54:06Oh, no.
00:54:07You're the devil.
00:54:08No more.
00:54:09You're the devil.
00:54:10No more.
00:54:11No more.
00:54:12JJ.
00:54:13I...
00:54:14Jeremy.
00:54:15You have to remember that amazing time we had to come.
00:54:17You're the devil.
00:54:18No more.
00:54:19You're the devil.
00:54:20No more.
00:54:21JJ.
00:54:22I...
00:54:23Jeremy.
00:54:24You have to remember that amazing time we had to come.
00:54:26Don't you?
00:54:27Please.
00:54:28Lex.
00:54:29I can't.
00:54:30I mean...
00:54:31I've got a girlfriend.
00:54:32I really like this girl.
00:54:33Fine.
00:54:34It's just so sad.
00:54:35Because I'm wearing this...
00:54:36coupless bra.
00:54:37And I also have on crotchless panties.
00:54:39With just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:54:43Oh.
00:54:44Oh.
00:54:45Oh.
00:54:46Oh.
00:54:47Oh.
00:54:48Oh.
00:54:49Oh.
00:54:50Oh.
00:54:51Oh.
00:54:52Oh.
00:54:53Oh.
00:54:54Oh.
00:54:55Oh.
00:54:56Oh.
00:54:57Oh.
00:54:58Oh.
00:54:59Oh.
00:55:00Oh.
00:55:01Oh.
00:55:02Oh.
00:55:03Oh.
00:55:04Oh.
00:55:05Oh.
00:55:07Oh.
00:55:09We've got like thirty minutes before she gets here.
00:55:11Perfect.
00:55:16Before she gets here.
00:55:17Perfect.
00:55:27Oh.
00:55:28Oh.
00:55:29Oh, yeah.
00:55:30Oh, yeah.
00:55:31Let's do it.
00:55:32Fuck me.
00:55:33Fuck me now.
00:55:34Oh.
00:55:35What? What's wrong?
00:55:38I can't... I can't get it in.
00:55:41It's too dry down there. It's a desert down there. It's sandpaper.
00:55:46Okay, I get the picture. Just try it again.
00:55:51No. Why is this happening?
00:55:54We fooled around before. I was dripping wet. I came like four times, remember?
00:55:59Just do what you did then. Go on.
00:56:01I already did my thing. I already tried.
00:56:04What?
00:56:05What is different this time?
00:56:08I don't know.
00:56:09Last time...
00:56:11I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:15What?
00:56:17You're not JJ?
00:56:19But your name is Jeremy Jones. How can you not be JJ?
00:56:23Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:26Where are you going? We're not done here.
00:56:29I can still do this. I just need a little bit of fork.
00:56:31I can do this.
00:56:33I don't need JJ. I don't need anyone else.
00:56:35We can do this.
00:56:37Go team.
00:56:42What? Just keep going.
00:56:49Shit.
00:56:49Where's Jeremy?
00:57:00We were just, you know, from here.
00:57:04Hey babe. Just working out.
00:57:07How could you, you bastard?
00:57:16You might want to...
00:57:17What?
00:57:19What?
00:57:24Mariela!
00:57:26Mariela!
00:57:26You know those aren't mine.
00:57:29At least not all of them.
00:57:30What is wrong with you?
00:57:36What is wrong with you?
00:57:39You used to be so pure.
00:57:42Well, no more.
00:57:43That's it.
00:57:44Really, that's the last one.
00:57:45Oh, I'm going to...
00:57:46You need to...
00:57:59I'm going to...
00:58:00Oh.
00:58:01I'm going to...
00:58:01I'm going to...
00:58:02Oh.
00:58:05Cheryl?
00:58:15Cheryl?
00:58:19What is it?
00:58:21What are you doing down here?
00:58:23Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:27What?
00:58:28Why?
00:58:29Nothing, just this lying guy and his dog and...
00:58:33Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:36No, it's not okay.
00:58:38God.
00:58:39And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:41I'm sorry.
00:58:42It's Jake's. Jake's fault.
00:58:44That lying, cheating bastard.
00:58:47Yes.
00:58:48He is such a dickwad, you need to confront him.
00:58:51Yeah.
00:58:52Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:54I mean, it's my birthday, and where is he anyway?
00:58:56Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:58:58You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:01Yeah, a big piece, a big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:04A big piece of it.
00:59:05Yeah.
00:59:06You know, you might want to...
00:59:09You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:11Yeah, you're right.
00:59:12Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:14I don't know.
00:59:15I'm sorry.
00:59:16I'm sorry.
00:59:17I'm sorry.
00:59:18I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:21I got no game.
00:59:23It's not important.
00:59:24Hey, um...
00:59:25Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:26No, no, no.
00:59:27No, no, no.
00:59:28I really need to talk to you.
00:59:29Really, Eric, I can't right now.
00:59:30No, no, no.
00:59:31I'm sorry.
00:59:32I'm sorry.
00:59:33I'm sorry.
00:59:34I can't talk right now.
00:59:36I can't talk right now.
00:59:37No, no, no.
00:59:38I really need to talk to you.
00:59:39Hey, um...
00:59:50Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:52No, no, no, I really need to talk to you.
00:59:54Really, Eric, I can't right now.
00:59:56No, no, no, no, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier,
01:00:00and I'm just embarrassed, and I want to make it up to you.
01:00:03Eric, really?
01:00:04I don't care. It's fine.
01:00:06No, but I do.
01:00:07I mean, I do.
01:00:08I do. I care.
01:00:10I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:13Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:15But I was wondering, or hoping,
01:00:18that we could go out sometime.
01:00:22Soon.
01:00:23Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while,
01:00:24and it would be nice to go out.
01:00:26Really?
01:00:27Eric, you're shy.
01:00:28You have no game.
01:00:31No, not really.
01:00:34Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:00:38Okay.
01:00:40All right.
01:00:41I, uh...
01:00:42Happy birthday, then.
01:00:45Oh, I'm sorry.
01:00:57I was trying to kiss you.
01:00:58Oh, I'm sorry.
01:00:59I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:02Here I come, baby.
01:01:20You're ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:25Oh, Eric, stop.
01:01:26Um, we can't do this.
01:01:28Oh, don't do it.
01:01:29Not again.
01:01:29Oh, no, um...
01:01:30Cheryl, honey, happy...
01:01:31What the fuck is this?
01:01:35Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:36Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:41Cheryl.
01:01:42Baby.
01:01:42Baby.
01:01:43What is this?
01:01:45Oh, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:47Here.
01:01:49I've been looking for you all night,
01:01:50and you've been...
01:01:51Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:53You couldn't find me?
01:01:55What about all those girls' vaginas you were in,
01:01:58or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:00Cheryl, honey.
01:02:01No, no.
01:02:02We can work this out.
01:02:03Baby, I love you.
01:02:05Jake, no.
01:02:05You have to go.
01:02:06Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:08I promise.
01:02:09No, Jake.
01:02:09I can't do this.
01:02:10I'm sorry.
01:02:12Cheryl, come on.
01:02:13No, Jake, please.
01:02:14Just go.
01:02:14Just go.
01:02:15I'm sorry.
01:02:16You're a heartless bitch!
01:02:18How can you do?
01:02:19Yay!
01:02:20You did it.
01:02:21I'm so proud of you.
01:02:22You got your revenge sex.
01:02:24You left him in your shell of a man.
01:02:26Revenge sex?
01:02:29It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:31Right.
01:02:33It all makes sense now.
01:02:36Wow.
01:02:37I feel really stupid.
01:02:39Eric, I'm really...
01:02:40I'm really sorry.
01:02:42Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:45And you used me.
01:02:47Eric, please don't go.
01:02:48Please, Eric!
01:02:49Eric, aren't you happy?
01:02:54Well, no.
01:02:55That's not exactly what I was supposed to feel like.
01:02:57You mean the sex?
01:02:58Was it...
01:02:59Yeah?
01:03:00No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:01Oh.
01:03:02You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:04Really?
01:03:04I just never found the right guy.
01:03:06Or guys.
01:03:09Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:10People are starting to leave.
01:03:12I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:13I don't know.
01:03:13I don't know.
01:03:14I don't know.
01:03:19I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:26This is bullshit.
01:03:29Oh!
01:03:30Oh!
01:03:31Suck it!
01:03:33God, I'm out of here!
01:03:35Yeah!
01:03:36He has good hair, though.
01:03:41Don't you puke on me.
01:03:44And don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:45Might says, Frank, that I might need a vacation.
01:03:53Take this information through your head.
01:03:58Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:04:01Was it from sex?
01:04:02Did you pop your cork?
01:04:03I don't think so.
01:04:05Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:07Oh, don't ask.
01:04:08Every possible object.
01:04:10It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:12It was like...
01:04:13Transformers.
01:04:14They just all became vibrators.
01:04:16I told you.
01:04:18It's addicting.
01:04:20So what about Chris?
01:04:22Well, last time I saw him, he was running away through dear life.
01:04:24I told you he was gay.
01:04:26Oh.
01:04:26Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:28Oh.
01:04:29Cramp.
01:04:30Oh.
01:04:31Oh.
01:04:32I think it's broken.
01:04:33So wait.
01:04:35None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:41Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:43Okay.
01:04:44So I was going to go grab some food.
01:04:46Can I go?
01:04:47No.
01:04:48I think I should finish up here.
01:04:51Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:53No.
01:04:55I don't know.
01:04:56For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:04:59Or something.
01:05:01Why?
01:05:01Do you know him?
01:05:03Sort of.
01:05:04Oh.
01:05:04Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:08Leave everything behind.
01:05:15Love him.
01:05:16Shut it.
01:05:16You want to do it?
01:05:17I don't want to hear it from you.
01:05:17I want to get married.
01:05:18You want to do it?
01:05:19Zip it.
01:05:19All right.
01:05:20All right.
01:05:20All right.
01:05:20All right.
01:05:20um no no way
01:05:50oh well there's always next year
01:06:20it's you
01:06:28i've been waiting for you
01:06:31jj
01:06:32johanna
01:06:35you
01:07:05and when the heat is on
01:07:18you'd never take it away
01:07:22wow
01:07:35that's amazing
01:07:38yeah i didn't know i had it in me
01:07:41i guess something inspired me
01:07:44he really captured his expression and his eyes
01:07:49yeah even that little callic he has in his hair
01:07:52who's eric's
01:07:56well it's him right
01:07:57oh
01:08:00yeah
01:08:02i have to go see him
01:08:05well i think you know what we should do
01:08:111-900 confess
01:08:22sister therese
01:08:25yeah hon
01:08:27um there was a problem with your credit card
01:08:29i just need the last three numbers in the back
01:08:31oh sure
01:08:33it's 271
01:08:35um sister i know this isn't a confession but
01:08:39can i ask your opinion on something
01:08:41do you think if you do something bad that
01:08:43god will forgive you
01:08:45like take you back
01:08:46sure hon
01:08:48why not
01:08:49as long as you're on the right path
01:08:51well how do you know if you're on that path
01:08:54i always look for some kind of sign
01:08:56from the universe
01:08:58something to let me know that it's
01:09:00all gonna be okay
01:09:02sister
01:09:03can i get up now
01:09:05i really gotta pee
01:09:07no hush your trap
01:09:09okay honey
01:09:12i really need to get back to work
01:09:13but call back anytime
01:09:15i will
01:09:16thanks
01:09:17sister
01:09:21shut up or i'll punish you hard you sheep
01:09:23fucker
01:09:24mwah
01:09:25eric wake
01:09:41cheryl
01:09:44eric um
01:09:47look i am so sorry about
01:09:50everything i was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning but then at the end i wasn't
01:09:56i just didn't want to do that with you the revenge part not the sex part um i i do want to go out
01:10:07with you and i didn't realize that until this morning i mean you're a completely different
01:10:13guy than jake is and he's all over here mom i gotta get going oh wow um cheryl uh this is
01:10:23my sister tina tina cheryl hi nice to meet you
01:10:28um so um you mind if i call you in a few days when i get back yeah sure
01:10:43oh sorry no kissing right no kissing oh
01:10:48hey did you ever uh get those flowers i sent you
01:11:07i don't even care that you hooked up a plexi wait what i never did that
01:11:14i mean you don't have to lie about it she told me all about your pierced tongue
01:11:19she must have me mixed up with someone else
01:11:25i wonder who it was
01:11:28at least this birthday's over
01:11:55dear lord please forgive me i mean if you could just i don't know like send me a sign
01:12:07you
01:12:25excuse me excuse me uh you know where the church is it's on fountain street
01:12:43um yeah that's the truth i go to or used to go to um it's straight up that way and then left
01:12:50thank you you're more than welcome to come with me if you like oh um i don't know
01:12:57well that's pretty powerful oh 250 horsepower 225 pounds of torque
01:13:11like i said you're more than welcome to hop on
01:13:15i don't think so but thanks what's your name sue what's yours jesus
01:13:23really see
01:13:26maybe i could use a ride
01:13:41really see
01:13:42what's your name sue
01:13:46really see
01:13:48you
01:13:50really see
01:13:54yeah
01:13:57yeah
01:13:58it's
01:13:58yeah
01:13:59you
01:14:01i
01:14:03i
01:14:05i