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00:00¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:30¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:00¡Suscríbete al canal!
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01:28¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:30¡Gracias!
02:00¡Gracias!
02:30¡Gracias!
02:32¡Ah!
02:34¡Nada más allá!
02:36¡Dale la dispensación!
02:38¡Gracias por ahí!
02:40¡Gracias por ahí!
02:42¡Gracias!
02:44¡Find us another spot!
02:48¡O bit por aquí!
02:50¡Gracias por ahí!
02:52¡Gracias por ahí!
02:54¡Suscríbete al canal!
03:24¡Suscríbete al canal!
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05:16He's giving his big speech shortly. Please head to Hall H now.
05:19Shit, it's almost starting. Find a way in.
05:35Oh, sorry. Polycon is at capacity. No entry allowed at this point.
05:40How do we get into Polycon?
05:41Oh, I'm sorry. We're at capacity.
05:43Can't let you in unless you're working the event, in which case I'd tell you to go through the maintenance area below the entrance.
05:49Hmm, sounds like sneaking into that maintenance area will lead us straight into Polycon.
05:57Sorry, the service elevator's broken. Can't let anyone on right now.
06:02What do you want? I said the elevator's broken. You'll have to wait.
06:07Uh, we're actually repairmen sent here to fix the elevator.
06:11What? Really? Why didn't you say sooner? Get in there. I've been waiting all day for you.
06:19Look! You've got no idea what's wrong with it.
06:21Oh, look!
06:23Holy shit! Are you guys okay?
06:26I think so, but we're stuck.
06:29I told you guys this thing was a death trap.
06:31I knew you had no idea what you were doing.
06:35Hold on. Hold on. Let me see if I can help.
06:38God, I'm gonna lose my job.
06:40Okay, let's see. We'll try a system reboot.
06:44Go push the up button down and hold it down until I tell you to stop.
06:51And whatever you do...
06:52Don't jump or shoot anything. This thing's barely holding on by a thread.
07:15That's great! Now keep it held down.
07:19Trust me, it just needs a few seconds.
07:22Great! Now I need you to keep it held down and press the down button as well with your other hand.
07:30Gotta press them both at the same time.
07:32What's wrong?
07:40You can't press both buttons at once.
07:42Oh my god. Is it because you're holding that stupid talking gun?
07:46Hey, watch it!
07:47They never put us down unless they absolutely half-fine.
07:51Then we're gonna have to get into the electrical pen.
07:54You got any tools to pry it open?
07:58Yeah, I'm a healthy tool.
08:00Nice work!
08:01Okay, now do you see the button in there?
08:04I need you to press it once.
08:06Then count to exactly 20 seconds and press it again.
08:09Got it?
08:12Okay, perfect!
08:14One, two, three...
08:18Oh, sorry. I'll just let you count.
08:21Remember, hit it again right at 20 seconds.
08:24Nine? You're probably at nine, right?
08:27Ten?
08:28Shit, okay.
08:30You probably know better than I do.
08:31Just keep counting.
08:32What are you doing?
08:33It hasn't been 20 seconds yet.
08:35Fuck you.
08:36We got lucky.
08:37It didn't break yet.
08:39Let's try that again and be extra certain you've counted to 20 this time.
08:51How's that counting going?
08:53Oh, shit!
08:54Oh, my God!
08:59There were maintenance workers at the bottom of the shaft!
09:02You killed them all!
09:04That's not our fault!
09:05You ruined me!
09:07Nobody will ever hire me again!
09:10And I love having a job!
09:11Hey there, it's me, Sudo, again.
09:14Pretty funny stuff with that elevator, right?
09:16I hope you liked it.
09:17We're not sure if it's that funny yet, but we're just crossing our fingers, and if you laugh, that's good.
09:21We'll keep it in the game.
09:21If you don't, we're cutting it.
09:22It's gone.
09:23So let me just skip you right ahead to the boss now.
09:26Oh, shit.
09:26This isn't it.
09:27God damn it.
09:28Well, that's okay.
09:29Hey, this is good stuff, too.
09:30You're going to like it.
09:31You should see this.
09:32And that is why we must legalize humans for resistive abuse.
09:36Do not take the shot.
09:38I repeat, do not take the shot.
09:40They've got a security system that'll take you out.
09:43Oh, damn.
09:43Got it.
09:44We'll make it work.
09:45We'll make it work.
09:45We'll make it work.
09:47Without any druggy side effects.
09:48And lucky for us, they're barely tensed.
09:52This is their purpose.
09:54And it's crucial that we be allowed to volunteer them for our resistive abuse.
09:59We'll be able to volunteer them for our resistive abuse.
10:01Fuck, you got the pain out of the palm of his greasy hand.
10:05We'll wait forward somewhere.
10:07Maybe there's a luck blob around there you can use.
10:09We'll hide a reality.
10:10The dates of the underprivileged working class cartel members going to prison for life.
10:16For merely trying to alleviate your life.
10:17Where's all this goop coming from?
10:19We'll be over.
10:24With the help of free apartments, we'll be able to volunteer them for our resistive abuse.
10:29Because 93 years of protection in Greece, they have a safety and defeat.
10:33Remember how to keep blood loss, right?
10:35You can pick them up.
10:36Move them or I can suck them towards you.
10:38Run.
10:39Humans are prone.
10:41With your help, we can pass this new law.
10:44They make you through all the streets.
10:47They're a danger to themselves and others.
10:49They're a rabbit species.
10:50Look at the numbers.
10:51They don't lie.
10:53This is West West, the nameless species.
10:55You got this.
10:56What will put all of this human drug trafficking behind us?
10:58And do it the right way.
11:01It seems that luck flops gain mass when under great temporal stress.
11:05So sweetly time bubbles makes them grow.
11:07And their epidermal layer is highly elastic, which means...
11:10Jump on that little fat fucker to get out of here.
11:14As we enter a new era.
11:16The era of virtual mass approach.
11:19The era of big armor.
11:21The era of Senator Duffy Hill.
11:25And their message, here we go!
11:31What was...
11:32Oh!
11:38Hey, what's happening?
11:40Did you get him?
11:42You.
11:42You ruined...
11:43All right, is this...
11:44All right.
11:45What?
11:45Ah, shit.
11:46Nope, nope, it's not.
11:47But that's okay.
11:50This is good stuff.
11:50You should see this.
11:51Yeah, you're going to need this guy.
11:53His name is Sheeth.
11:54He's a really cool, professional hitman.
11:55And you just beat the shit out of him.
11:57You just completely pummeled him.
11:58And, well, maybe you can get him to join your team somehow?
12:01Trust me, you're going to want him on your team.
12:03He could be your new friend.
12:04Sheeth, great new character.
12:05You're going to love him.
12:06He's like a battle rifle from, like, another game with guns.
12:09Except this one talks.
12:10Because that's what we do here at Ion Life.
12:12He's voiced by Ralph Inneson.
12:14You ever see the bitch?
12:15What a voice.
12:16Very deep.
12:16The opposite of my voice.
12:17Anyway, I'll shut up.
12:18I'll let you guys meet.
12:19We can't just leave him like this.
12:23Do it.
12:24Kill me.
12:25Look, dude.
12:26I think we're on the same side here.
12:28We both want Muppie-Dude dead.
12:30Were you trying to save humans, too?
12:32I'm just a hitman.
12:33My name is Sheeth.
12:35This was just another job for me.
12:38The client was just another politician who wanted the competition out of the picture.
12:44I know nothing of this human nonsense.
12:48All right, Sheeth.
12:49Here's the deal.
12:50You're worried about your perfect record, right?
12:53We can use the extra help.
12:54You want me to join you?
12:57We need your help.
12:59My perfect record is still time to restore it, but...
13:04But no, no, look at me.
13:06Look at the state I'm in.
13:09But no, no, you're right.
13:11I've never failed a mission before.
13:13And I'm not going to fail one now.
13:14I'll do whatever it takes.
13:16Carve me out of here with your knife.
13:18What?
13:18Really?
13:20You want us to carve you up?
13:22Yes.
13:22The rest of my body is already dead.
13:24Only my head matters now.
13:26God.
13:26I'll explain more as you go.
13:28That's all right.
13:29You're not playing a joke on me.
13:30I'm sure.
13:31All right.
13:32And no takebacks now.
13:33Let's do this.
13:34All right.
13:36This is an intense procedure.
13:38Let me explain this very carefully.
13:40You'll need to sever my anterior cephalic nerve.
13:46You didn't even wait for me to finish explaining.
13:50Are you actually doing everything correctly?
13:53I'm a natural.
13:54This is what I was born to do.
13:58Keep going.
13:59This body has become a coffin.
14:02But there is another way.
14:04You didn't even wait for me to finish explaining.
14:11Are you actually doing everything correctly?
14:15That's right.
14:16I know everything there is to know about carving people up.
14:22Separate my head from my torso.
14:25And I will myself become the deadliest of weapons.
14:29It might require a moral trip for you to come to the end of it.
14:33Explaining, but yeah, okay.
14:34You see, it's got the hang of it.
14:53All right.
14:54Wow, you really just did all of that without any instructions at all.
15:05I kind of can't believe it.
15:08All right, then.
15:10Looks like the security system has shorted out.
15:12But fear not.
15:13I'm certain we can lower the barrier with an electrical overcharge.
15:16You'll find that my spike ability may be able to help with that.
15:18First, find an electrical power source and use my spike to connect it to the fuse box.
15:23Go ahead.
15:24Try it.
15:25You're going to enjoy this.
15:28All right, good.
15:29Do you see any amplifiers?
15:32Great work.
15:33That's going to help.
15:34But we need to amplify it even further.
15:37It seems this fuse box will need at least two charges.
15:39Wow, you are very good at this.
15:43You did that so quickly.
15:44Now connect it to the fuse box there.
15:46You see how it indicates the amount of charges needed?
15:48We should have enough.
15:50Yeah, I'm very good.
15:51You're a natural bomb.
15:53You're a good thing after all.
15:56Remember who signed your paychecks, guards.
15:58Now kill the assassin!
15:59Now you challenge sheath reborn.
16:09Brought back from the cusp of death like Lazarus himself.
16:13Where I live, you shall now perish.
16:16I give to you the very death I refused.
16:20Try to kill it fast!
16:22I'm impressed.
16:31We make a good team.
16:33Perhaps it truly is fate that brought us together.
16:35I'm still working on getting Muppies' new location.
16:37Don't worry.
16:38If you're quick, we won't lose him.
16:41Okay, let's just speed things along again.
16:44And is this it?
16:45Fuck.
16:45Fuck.
16:45No, it's not.
16:46Well, that's okay.
16:47This is also a good spot.
16:48The game's perfect, so any spot I stop at is good.
16:51You're going to love this.
16:51You're chasing some of them up you do now,
16:53and you got that new gun sheath with you.
16:55So cool.
16:55Have fun.
16:56I love you.
16:57Target's frozen.
16:58Damn, drinking tag.
17:00Oh, God.
17:01Oh, God.
17:02Security.
17:03Help me.
17:04Ah, let it roll, then.
17:05We carry security guards in 25.
17:07No.
17:10Stay back.
17:13I have an idea.
17:16You can use my spawner from your gun.
17:18I don't know why.
17:18I don't know why.
17:20¡Suscríbete al canal!
17:50¡Suscríbete al canal!
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19:00¡Suscríbete al canal!
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19:10We're on high alert and you're the last attendee I'm allowed to let in.
19:13I'm just going to need you to read and sign this waiver.
19:15Come on, we don't need to read through all that.
19:17Just sign it.
19:18This is all that stands between me and a beautiful heavenly bloodbath.
19:22You know, this is actually a very special year for MurderCon.
19:25Brutus Von Leer is back.
19:26You know Brutus, right?
19:28MurderCon legend.
19:28I signed it.
19:29Brutus, Brutus, Brutus.
19:33He's dead.
19:33He's scary.
19:35He's definitely going to kill you.
19:37Run for your fucking life.
19:39Oh, I'm so excited.
19:42I must have learned how I'm excited.
19:43Get your tickets now.
19:50Ladies and gentlemen, a new contestant has entered the MurderCon.
19:54Oh, yeah.
19:56Let's get ready.
19:57Let's go.
19:57Oh, I can't wait.
19:59Oh, I can't wait.
20:00Oh, I can't wait.
20:02Oh, shit.
20:03Oh, shit.
20:04Oh, shit.
20:07Here's the major motivation.
20:08Oh, you gorgeous, sexy murderers out there.
20:12What someone's with you kill, record.
20:15You'll get to fight this year's special guest, reigning champ, Brutus Von Leer.
20:20You hear that?
20:21We can set shit up.
20:23I want to find Brutus.
20:24He's a bloody living legend.
20:26You're quite good at handling me.
20:29What a thrill.
20:30What a thrill.
20:34I'm in cover cabbie, William, your split-six, run to one twig.
20:38What a...
20:38I'm moving to the leaderboard.
20:40What a melee round.
20:43Yes, yes, yes.
20:46I'm the main character of the game.
20:49Yes, yes.
20:50I'm going to murder you till you die.
20:53Oh, thank you, God.
20:55Thank you for this.
20:58What are you doing?
21:01Use me.
21:02I thought you're either a loser weapon.
21:08Get ready to bleed.
21:10Yes, bleed.
21:11Everybody bleed.
21:12All right, we're going up in the power.
21:14Wowie-zowie, the engine with unintelligible handwriting
21:18and the crazy-talking knife
21:20is racking up hills like crazy.
21:22Keep an eye on for this promising young newcomer.
21:25That's right.
21:26Watch out for me, not me.
21:28You heard the knife.
21:30Watch out for knifey, everybody.
21:32He's adorable.
21:33Watch out for all of us.
21:35All right, who likes animals?
21:38I just let the hammer birds loose in there.
21:41Ha, ha.
21:42Go nuts.
21:42These hammer birds will make a powerful blood force weapon.
21:46Grab a lot and swing it like a blood chip, quick.
21:48Quick health count update, folks.
21:50Combatant Knifey is quickly crunching
21:53on the full-time record of our champion.
21:55Grab it!
21:58All right, all right.
21:59All this excitement.
22:00Let's go through the helmet.
22:02This one goes out to all new levels.
22:05Prepare.
22:06Grab your strong armor.
22:07Settle in for a slow-man.
22:10Go be your ears.
22:11Ignore the music.
22:12It's psychological warfare.
22:13Keep up the good work.
22:14We're getting closer to the top of the board.
22:17If we keep on killing like this,
22:19we're going to win this thing!
22:20And now here's the end champion level!
22:29This is unprecedented, folks!
22:32What an upset!
22:32Thank you everyone for believing in me.
22:37She's taken all my credit.
22:43It's time for more burdering.
22:46That was nice actually.
22:48It was a nice change of pace because it makes you, you know, saving the murder parts more.
22:55I've done this, bitch.
22:56Stop it.
22:57We've done this, bitch.
23:02¡Suscríbete al canal!
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28:08It's spotted.
28:10Time to finish our mission.
28:22Who are you? Why are you trying to kill me?
28:24I'm just a paid killer.
28:26But now that I've spent some time with this human, it's personal.
28:30I don't like the way you talk about that kind.
28:38The target has punctured my gun.
28:40Oh, that's what I'm going to do.
28:43I don't know how the goal is fighting.
28:45Get him to read me yourself. What are we all done?
28:48You're a human. You're braided.
28:50It's not your fault. You don't even know what they're doing.
28:58I got faith in you, buddy.
29:02You don't know how to go.
29:04You can hit me with the center of my head.
29:05You can hit him with those guards in the way.
29:07Yeah, hopefully he runs out of stuff to pull out of his fanny pack.
29:09Just keep up the pressure. I'll crack his contents for you.
29:12Think of it like a health bar for his fanny pack.
29:28Destroy that turret!
29:29Ah, where's that plan?
29:31Look at him.
29:32I got a prep disc over here.
29:34Bye-bye!
29:35Freaking gone!
29:36Can't you see I'm trying to help humans?
29:37I just want them to be taken care of.
29:38You'll all be sent to a wonderful farm in the country where we make other people.
29:41We can climb down with the little pills.
29:42niżFlu.
29:43He's fanny packin' Johns.
29:44Don't come off.
29:45You're shrinking!
29:46You're buffy!
29:47Thank you!
29:48You're buffy.
29:49I'm going to help them.
29:50You're buffy.
29:51I'm gonna be happy.
29:52I'm Akimah!
29:53I'm going to be happy.
29:54You're buffy.
29:55I got a prep disc over here.
29:56¡Suscríbete al canal!
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36:14¡Suscríbete al canal!
36:16¡Suscríbete al canal!
36:20¡Suscríbete al canal!
36:22¡Suscríbete al canal!
36:24¡Suscríbete al canal!
36:26¡Suscríbete al canal!
36:28This is bad! This is really bad the only way to get him is to click it !
36:34OH MY GOOOOOOODD
36:37Ieeeewww
36:58Gracias por ver el video.
37:28Gracias por ver el video.
37:58Gracias por ver el video.
38:30Gracias por ver el video.
39:01Oh, that looks like it hurt.
39:03Don't do that again.
39:05Goddammit, he's nimble.
39:07Back the fuck up, Senator.
39:09Oh, yeah, I can confirm it.
39:20Muppidoo is dead as hell.
39:21What's going on in there?
39:22I'm losing your signal.
39:23Oh, shit.
39:24Yeah, your vitals are looking pretty bad, actually.
39:26The Senator has been dealt with, so don't worry about him.
39:29But the human, they're failing fast.
39:31They need immediate medical assistance.
39:32Shit, we're on our way.
39:34Gene, step on it.
39:35Are you kidding me?
39:37I just farted!
39:38I'm quitting our location to you now.
39:40Chief, thank you.
39:42No, thank you.
39:43I feel that you lot may have, well, I feel I've finally regained my sense of purpose.
39:49Just keep them conscious till we get there, okay?
39:50Stay with me, human.
39:52I haven't properly thanked you yet for helping me finish my mission.
39:55For showing me that I don't have to work alone.
39:58For...
39:59Hey, wake up.
40:01Wake up.
40:01All right, well, how about that?
40:04Did you have a good time with the demo?
40:05It's me, Sudo, again, by the way.
40:07I'm here to just wrap this up and make sure you had a good time.
40:09Yeah, yeah, that was great, right?
40:11Yeah, here's the next steps for you.
40:12You're going to go on your phone or your laptop or whatever you got,
40:15and you're going to start seeing really positive things about this demo
40:17to anyone who's going to listen to you, okay?
40:19You're going to do it on Twitter, Blue Sky, Truth Social, LinkedIn, Zonkshu,
40:22the Jeremy Renner app, everything.
40:24Every app you can think of, okay?
40:25We deserve this, okay?
40:26We really do.
40:27And you're not going to fuck this up for us, okay?
40:28You're not going to ruin everything.
40:29You're not going to topple Squanch games at its peak.
40:32I'm sorry.
40:32I'm sorry.
40:33I don't know.
40:34I lost my cool there for a second.
40:35I keep doing that.
40:36It's kind of the reason I'm on a personal improvement plan in the first place.
40:39Well, one of many reasons.
40:40Let's just say I have a history of kidnapping Microsoft execs
40:43and demanding that they put our games on the front page.
40:46And honestly, can I be honest?
40:48It works every time.
40:50Every developer should be doing the kidnapping scheme.
40:52It's great.
40:53Anyway, thank you.
40:54Thank you so much.
40:55We really appreciate you playing the demo.
40:57Everyone at Squanch really, really appreciates it.
40:59And all of us who have families and kids and animals to feed,
41:01we just, from the bottom of our heart, thank you so much.
41:04Because, you know, without positive journalism,
41:06let's just say the well dries up, kids go to bed hungry, animals die,
41:10and we don't want that to happen, do we?
41:11We don't want that blood on your hands.
41:13So just think about that when you're writing up your little demo review
41:17and, you know, just have a good night or morning.
41:19I don't know what fucking time it is where you are.
41:21Wouldn't it be cool if I was programmed to say whatever time it actually was
41:24on the internal clock?
41:25What if we recorded a voice line for every single minute of the day
41:27and then a.m. p.m.?
41:28Wouldn't that be great?
41:29We didn't do that.
41:30But let's just say it's 2.48 p.m.
41:31Central European summertime, whatever the fuck that is.
41:34That's probably not a real time zone.
41:35But, hey, maybe it is.
41:36I really don't know.
41:37I'm not a real computer.
41:37I'm a voice actor in a booth.
41:38My name's Alec Robbins.
41:39I'm the narrative director for the game,
41:40and I'm just rambling now.
41:42So thank you so much for playing the demo.
41:45Have a great rest of your day.
41:46Don't play any other demos.
41:47I'm going to try to...
41:48No voice anymore.
41:48Now this is just me.
41:49I'm just talking to you.
41:50Thank you so much.
41:55Just move on.
41:55Go and do something else.
41:56There's probably a bunch of other cool stuff here that you can play.
41:58All right.
41:58See ya.
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