- 3 months ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:02CastingWords
00:01:04CastingWords
00:01:06CastingWords
00:01:08But we live in a permissive society.
00:01:10Not on this street, we don't.
00:01:12Everybody's at it.
00:01:14Not with me, they're not.
00:01:16Girls are supposed to be crying out for it.
00:01:18Not this one.
00:01:20I'm the silent majority.
00:01:22It's only manners these days.
00:01:24Total strangers do it now instead of shaking hands.
00:01:27God is long.
00:01:30Jesus.
00:01:38We've never seen him in real life, though.
00:01:58Oh, he's picturing the papers.
00:02:01Oh, come on, Sandra, let's go.
00:02:03No, I don't want to.
00:02:04Oh, that's standing out here.
00:02:05It's stupid.
00:02:06But he might come in a minute.
00:02:08He waited ages yesterday and he never turned up there.
00:02:10But that was yesterday.
00:02:11He might be here today.
00:02:12Oh, that little birdie dad's standing here.
00:02:14Come on, you're supposed to be going shopping.
00:02:16But he might come.
00:02:17Please, let's go.
00:02:22Oh, no.
00:02:23I told you so, didn't I?
00:02:25I feel a right twit now.
00:02:27I don't fancy yours.
00:02:30Which is mine?
00:02:31Any except the blonde.
00:02:34Oh, good.
00:02:36Who are being stared at?
00:02:38Where?
00:02:42Don't fancy yours.
00:02:45Which is mine?
00:02:47Any.
00:02:48Except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs.
00:02:52Thanks.
00:02:54Neither do I.
00:02:54Fancy the one with the twitch.
00:03:00About as much as Mountsy-Tung's granddad, with all due respect.
00:03:04To his granddad.
00:03:06Ask him if they do a turn.
00:03:08You.
00:03:09I thought we were giving sex up.
00:03:11There's a protest at never getting any.
00:03:14Ignore them.
00:03:14Hi.
00:03:23Hi.
00:03:24Hi.
00:03:26Hi.
00:03:27Hi.
00:03:33Peace, ma'am.
00:03:34Were you, er, hoping to see Georgie Best?
00:03:37He's in Majorca.
00:03:39Come on, then.
00:03:41May only get an hour for lunch.
00:03:42It's a discotheque in Albert Square.
00:03:52Come on.
00:03:54I thought we were going for tights.
00:03:58It's our lunch hour.
00:04:01It's ours.
00:04:02We were going for lunch.
00:04:08Shall I tell you something pretty mind-blowing about Majorca?
00:04:10It's one place I've never been.
00:04:15Pardon?
00:04:17I'm, er, Geoffrey.
00:04:20I don't happen to be attached.
00:04:22I'm Beryl.
00:04:23I don't happen to be surprised.
00:04:25Don't you worry, love and rainy weather may sound funny, but they go together fine.
00:04:52Every single time.
00:04:54Every single time.
00:05:01First you're up there on another plane and then you're nowhere.
00:05:08And the tears are raining down.
00:05:11And the tears are raining down.
00:05:14It's a run around.
00:05:19Love and rainy weather.
00:05:24Sure can get you down.
00:05:27Not going twisting tonight, then?
00:05:38That's the modern name for it, isn't it?
00:05:40For what?
00:05:41Cutting a rug.
00:05:44Pardon?
00:05:44Grooving, Mildred.
00:05:45Grooving, Mildred.
00:05:46It's called grooving nowadays.
00:05:47Grooving and or freaking.
00:05:49Right?
00:05:50What I'm not doing tonight.
00:05:51Right.
00:05:54Right on.
00:05:55You're staying in tonight, then?
00:05:57Tonight?
00:05:58Tomorrow night?
00:05:59Every night.
00:06:01They might sell me overcoat.
00:06:03Life's not all pleasure, you know.
00:06:04Mildred, don't hassle the lad.
00:06:08Hassle.
00:06:10It's a different world today, Mildred.
00:06:13We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this Finney Haddy cost.
00:06:17They do their own thing.
00:06:19The usual 1,300 weight?
00:06:24Now, that's the new world that we work for.
00:06:26And fought for.
00:06:28Full page advert for contraception.
00:06:31It's his birthright.
00:06:34I'm not hungry.
00:06:37What's that supposed to mean?
00:06:39It's the hip way cool people say I'm not hungry.
00:06:56I'm not hungry.
00:06:59I enjoy staying and chatting of an evening.
00:07:03I find it fantastically enjoyable.
00:07:06No, really.
00:07:07I really do.
00:07:09Some people don't.
00:07:12I do.
00:07:14Beryl, please take my word for it.
00:07:16Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell and invite you to the pictures.
00:07:19Paul McCartney who?
00:07:21He doesn't know you've been faithful to him ever since our day's night.
00:07:23And please don't say Paul McCartney who.
00:07:26I sacrificed too much for your 6-0 levels.
00:07:30You were terrific in the pictures.
00:07:33I never touched you.
00:07:35Terrific self-control.
00:07:41What did you say your name was?
00:07:53Mind you, just a weekend I'd do with you, Paul.
00:08:05Not a dirty weekend.
00:08:08A disgusting one.
00:08:13Night-night, Percy Filth.
00:08:24Have you always been insatiable?
00:08:28It's not my fault.
00:08:30It's just that I don't like blondes.
00:08:36It's psychosomatic.
00:08:40I'm sorry.
00:08:41I'm sorry.
00:08:42I'm sorry.
00:08:46Ah...
00:09:03Sandra...
00:09:05It is almost blonde in this light.
00:09:07what's wrong? just being brave. what about? ending it all before we hurt each other too
00:09:21much. it's our first date. probably wasted your entire evening haven't I?
00:09:30not yet. not if your parents aren't back till midnight. don't you think you're too
00:09:38old for this sort of thing? straight from Stanley Matthews to Bridgette Bardo you
00:09:44went overnight. that was when you were too young for this sort of thing. it's
00:09:49artistic mother. like your Tutankhamen butter dish.
00:10:00what? got it. got what? you now ask if I never want to see you again. I say I do.
00:10:10you then stop crying quick as a flash and say something like how about Sunday
00:10:15half seven outside Central Library? no I don't. tomorrow half seven outside Central
00:10:21Library. then when I say okay does your zip miraculously undo? it does not.
00:10:29thought it did. not till you've unfastened the press stood.
00:10:35I can see her doing your ironing and cooking and cleaning. you wouldn't need to
00:10:40book for the Christmas pantomime. I don't intend to marry her mother in case it
00:10:44interferes with my career. we're just good friends. good night.
00:10:59Miss Bardo. marry me. you know what they say? once you've had a Manchester lad you never
00:11:13touch anything else.
00:11:29About time and all.
00:11:31Aye.
00:11:32Aye.
00:11:33Peace, man.
00:11:36Did you have a good time last night?
00:11:38Great.
00:11:39Is it you?
00:11:40Satisfied.
00:11:41I stayed in for a change.
00:11:44Did you get much?
00:11:47Did you?
00:11:52Did you know that raping Princess Anne was a capital offence?
00:11:55Not that I have done.
00:11:57I stayed in for a change instead.
00:12:18Ticket.
00:12:19I ain't got me ticket.
00:12:20We're late already.
00:12:23See you behind the goal then.
00:12:27Ticket.
00:12:28Ticket.
00:12:29Ticket.
00:12:30Ticket.
00:12:31Ticket.
00:12:32Ticket.
00:12:33Ticket.
00:12:34Ticket.
00:12:35Ticket.
00:12:36Ticket.
00:12:37Ticket.
00:12:38Ticket.
00:12:39Ticket.
00:12:40Ticket.
00:12:41Well, tonight's beauty sleep's done nothing for her.
00:12:44Snooty old bag.
00:12:46Ticket.
00:12:47Ticket.
00:12:49Trendy. Crimson shoes with bottle green socks.
00:12:54Must be going steady with a set of traffic lights.
00:12:57Still, who else would have him?
00:13:00Anyway, they're all the same in the dark, rumour has it.
00:13:11Different girl every night, you can tell the type.
00:13:15Probably an omen seeing her before the match.
00:13:18Bet we lose 3-1.
00:13:21Well, I'm certainly not making the first move.
00:13:24At least I've got me proud.
00:13:26Oh, hello.
00:13:28Oh, hi.
00:13:29Hi.
00:13:30Didn't see you.
00:13:31No, Normie.
00:13:33Are you going that way?
00:13:35Yeah. Not especially, no.
00:13:38Are you going that?
00:13:40Yeah, well, no. I was sort of...
00:13:44Are you going to the football match?
00:13:45Are you?
00:13:46Shopping.
00:13:53I'm probably going to the pictures tonight.
00:13:55I am.
00:13:56Which?
00:13:57Which are you?
00:13:58Any.
00:13:59I am.
00:14:06See you then.
00:14:07Tonight?
00:14:08Pardon?
00:14:09Oh.
00:14:10Oh, I...
00:14:11All right, then.
00:14:12Right.
00:14:19Super socks.
00:14:24Did you see that?
00:14:25They're all on drugs.
00:14:26A lot of them.
00:14:27A lot of them.
00:14:45Did he score?
00:14:46Losing. 3-1.
00:14:48Excuse me.
00:14:49I...
00:14:50...
00:14:54Excuse me.
00:14:55Excuse me, I only go to restaurants with deaf waiters.
00:15:25Ah.
00:15:29Hi.
00:15:31Hello, mate.
00:15:33Peace man.
00:15:34Surprise, surprise.
00:15:35Surprise.
00:15:36In anywhere controversial?
00:15:38Pictures.
00:15:39The boyfriend.
00:15:40She's slim.
00:15:41I'm just going to the...
00:15:42Oh, I'll come with you.
00:15:46Are you and Beryl, um...
00:15:48You know.
00:15:50You know.
00:15:53Oh.
00:16:03Would you, uh...
00:16:05What do you sort of reckon?
00:16:06She's a...
00:16:08Fair sort of bird.
00:16:10Sort of.
00:16:12She's all right.
00:16:14I mean, nothing sensational, obviously.
00:16:17Geoffrey.
00:16:18She's a bird.
00:16:21You having a coffee with us?
00:16:24No thanks, kid.
00:16:25Neville's ravenous.
00:16:26You've just eaten.
00:16:27Oh, of course.
00:16:28Yeah.
00:16:29Sorry.
00:16:30You see.
00:16:31What I thought Ken was always trying to do...
00:16:32By implication.
00:16:33Probably by implication.
00:16:34It was to allow the images to provoke a moral response from our own aesthetic judgment.
00:16:47You see?
00:16:48Yes.
00:16:49Was he the errand boy?
00:16:52Was who the errand boy?
00:16:53Ken Thingy.
00:16:54He directed it.
00:16:56Oh.
00:16:57Yes.
00:16:58I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol.
00:17:02Probably.
00:17:07You're not like other boys at all, are you?
00:17:10Well, probably a little more mature, that's all.
00:17:13It's over 200 yards from the cinema.
00:17:15And you talk to me the whole way, like a person.
00:17:22Other boys seem to have one-track minds these days.
00:17:25Sex?
00:17:26Marriage.
00:17:27Pardon?
00:17:28The number of boys that asked me to marry them.
00:17:31A couple of dates and pal they want to get married.
00:17:34I want to live a bit before I get married.
00:17:37I suppose I just don't have a hang-up about it.
00:17:40Get married?
00:17:42Hmm.
00:17:43No.
00:17:48Actually, I find girls, or most girls, that is, a bit obsessed these days.
00:17:54Not marriage.
00:17:55No.
00:17:56Sex.
00:17:59Percy Filth?
00:18:03Sex.
00:18:04That's what I said.
00:18:06Oh.
00:18:07Well, I'm not like that.
00:18:09Not Percy Filth motivated?
00:18:11No.
00:18:12No.
00:18:14No.
00:18:27Did you want to say any more about Andy Warhol?
00:18:29Ken Russell?
00:18:30Yeah.
00:18:31No.
00:18:32No.
00:18:37This is it.
00:18:39I won't come in with it being our first date.
00:18:41No.
00:18:42Oh.
00:18:43Anywhere my mum's gone to bed, we'd be on our own.
00:18:45Is that a reason for me not coming in, though?
00:18:47Yes, Geoffrey.
00:18:48Oh.
00:18:49Oh.
00:18:50Oh.
00:18:51Oh.
00:18:52Oh.
00:18:53Oh.
00:18:54Oh.
00:18:55Oh.
00:18:56Oh.
00:18:57Anywhere my mum's gone to bed, we'd be on our own.
00:19:00Is that a reason for me not coming in, though?
00:19:02Yes, Geoffrey.
00:19:03Oh.
00:19:04Oh.
00:19:05Oh.
00:19:06Nice house.
00:19:0825-year mortgage.
00:19:09Well, thanks for seeing me home.
00:19:10Funny, isn't it?
00:19:11First date with someone.
00:19:12It always leads to one of three things.
00:19:14Either nothing, or something, or everything.
00:19:41Don't think about Percy Filth at this stage, Beryl.
00:19:45You're not.
00:19:47No, I'm not.
00:19:50Night-night. God bless.
00:20:03I won't give you my phone number in case you think I'm one of those scheming females.
00:20:07What is it?
00:20:09Three, two, seven, double, four, two, one.
00:20:11The easy way to remember it is the three and the two make five, which is two less than seven,
00:20:15then two fours, and half of four, which is two, and half of two, which is one.
00:20:19But you mustn't ring me if you don't want.
00:20:21No. But you can if you do.
00:20:23Do you want me to?
00:20:25Not if you'd rather not.
00:20:27Three, two, seven, double, four, two, one.
00:20:29Night.
00:20:39Well, hello, Mrs. Battersby. Beryl's brought you up a cup of tea.
00:20:51Oh, they all have a past life flashed before me then.
00:20:53Can't be Mother's Day. You'd have forgotten.
00:20:57Has there been any clips?
00:20:59Mum, I want the benefit of your experience.
00:21:03What do you think of Andy Warhol?
00:21:05You see, Geoffrey has this theory that by implication...
00:21:07Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:09Of course, Geoffrey knows about these things.
00:21:10These things. Everything.
00:21:11Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:12He's fantastically intelligent.
00:21:14He's got a lucky day.
00:21:15He's got a lucky day.
00:21:16He's got a lucky day.
00:21:17What's the lucky day?
00:21:18He's got a lucky day.
00:21:19Uh huh.
00:21:20What do you think of him?
00:21:21What do you think of Andy Warhol?
00:21:24Um, well, that's a lucky day.
00:21:25Can't be Mother's Day.
00:21:26You'd have forgotten.
00:21:27Has there been any clips?
00:21:28Mum, I want the benefit of your experience.
00:21:31What do you think of Andy Warhol?
00:21:32You see, Geoffrey has this theory that by implication...
00:21:34Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:35He's statistically intelligent. See, Geoffrey's idea...
00:21:39BELLOR OUZE Geoffrey!
00:21:42Oh, no-one.
00:21:48No-one's special.
00:21:53His name's Geoffrey.
00:21:59How did this Beryl Bird turn out last night?
00:22:02What Beryl Bird? I told him.
00:22:05Did she, er...
00:22:07Does she, er...
00:22:09What?
00:22:11Wow!
00:22:14She doesn't, then.
00:22:17You don't listen, do you? I said...
00:22:19How about Sandra?
00:22:27Chips. Chums. Sod.
00:22:30Not seeing him tonight, then.
00:22:40Who?
00:22:45I've rather better things to do, thank you.
00:22:56Said he was no-one special.
00:22:59Have they got a phone here?
00:23:01Why?
00:23:04They haven't, have they?
00:23:06Did you want to get some nookie lined up or something?
00:23:08If I did, do you think I'd be playing darts with you two?
00:23:11Look, are you fed up here?
00:23:14Are you?
00:23:15No.
00:23:16We'll split after this game.
00:23:17Anything you say.
00:23:18And go for a few at the King's Head.
00:23:19Great.
00:23:21And that ends our pro...
00:23:23Well, Monday tomorrow.
00:23:25Hallelujah.
00:23:26Pardon?
00:23:28I don't know what you're paying for that phone, but whatever it is, you're being done.
00:23:32Good night.
00:23:33Good night.
00:24:00Morning.
00:24:01Morning.
00:24:03Chalton for Pope. Long may he reign. Amen.
00:24:13What's going on? Pound's up again.
00:24:17Oh, God. Today's special. Bloody travellers, Jax.
00:24:22Here. Suddenly everyone's going on holiday.
00:24:25Except those. Enjoy yourself while you're young.
00:24:33Why do we always do that? 93 times a day?
00:24:50We never see anything.
00:25:03Only one morning just as the sun was rising.
00:25:12I heard a maiden singing in the valley.
00:25:16My timing not disturbing your singing, I hope.
00:25:19See Geoffrey on Sunday.
00:25:22Oh, Geoffrey. That neville's the greatest.
00:25:26Is he dishy or is he dishy?
00:25:35I'm considering packing Geoffrey in.
00:25:39One date was enough.
00:25:41Why?
00:25:43He's cancer and I'm Libra.
00:25:45Is that bad?
00:25:47Hopeless.
00:25:49Actually, I'm slightly off the male gender at the moment.
00:26:01Five.
00:26:02Five.
00:26:03Which is...
00:26:04Which is...
00:26:05Three and two's five.
00:26:06Which is two less than seven.
00:26:08Which is...
00:26:10Oh.
00:26:12I see the Spanish police are throwing your lot out of Ibiza.
00:26:17Bank clocks.
00:26:18Your lot.
00:26:19Football supporters.
00:26:21Hippies.
00:26:23Oh.
00:26:24My lot.
00:26:25At the third stroke, it will be 7.22 and 40 seconds.
00:26:31That's it then.
00:26:42Fate.
00:26:43All over by 7.23 precisely.
00:26:46So what?
00:26:49Plenty more where she came from.
00:26:52Is that the speaking clock?
00:26:57Is that Geoffrey?
00:26:58Is that Beryl?
00:27:00Yes.
00:27:01Yes.
00:27:02Hi.
00:27:05Hi.
00:27:24It's terrifically exciting, isn't it?
00:27:26Getting to know a person.
00:27:27Fantastic.
00:27:30I want to know all about you.
00:27:33That's what it's all about.
00:27:35For example, with things in common already.
00:27:37Definitely.
00:27:38About what?
00:27:39We're enormously fond of animals.
00:27:40Right.
00:27:41And we're both from Manchester.
00:27:43Have you ever been abroad?
00:27:44No.
00:27:45Have you?
00:27:46No.
00:27:47Have you?
00:27:48No.
00:27:49Unless you count Istanbul.
00:27:50Istanbul?
00:27:51Istanbul?
00:27:52Istanbul?
00:27:53Was it beyond belief?
00:27:54I don't know.
00:27:55I was only three.
00:27:56Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:27:57Sometimes.
00:27:58I do.
00:27:59What now?
00:28:00No.
00:28:01No.
00:28:02Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:28:03Sometimes.
00:28:05I do.
00:28:06What now?
00:28:07No.
00:28:08Just sometimes.
00:28:09Yes, I do.
00:28:10Such a lot.
00:28:11Is there?
00:28:12Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:13No.
00:28:14No.
00:28:15Just...
00:28:16Just sometimes.
00:28:17Yes, I do.
00:28:18Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:19In getting to know others.
00:28:20Mm.
00:28:21He was live and easy.
00:28:22I was live and easy in the world.
00:28:23I was live and easy.
00:28:24No.
00:28:25I was alive.
00:28:26Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:28:27Sometimes?
00:28:28I do.
00:28:29What now?
00:28:30No.
00:28:31Just...
00:28:32Just sometimes.
00:28:34Yes, I do.
00:28:35Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:36In getting to know others.
00:28:37Yeah.
00:28:38Yes, I do.
00:28:39Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:40In getting to know others.
00:28:42Mm.
00:28:43He was lithe and easy-limbed, his stride quietly casual, his eyes clear and confident and
00:28:57his strong mouth ready to break into a relaxed, assured, lopsided grin.
00:29:07You know, Geoffrey, you have a really lopsided grin.
00:29:10Really? You know, lopsided.
00:29:15I don't think I have.
00:29:17It's in the eye of the beholder.
00:29:21See?
00:29:23Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot.
00:29:27He holds it down with his little finger.
00:29:30It must be marvellous being a man.
00:29:34It's OK, I suppose.
00:29:35Men can do anything. Conquer Everest. Do heart transplants.
00:29:41Become leader of the opposition. Anything!
00:29:53Geoffrey, NO spells no!
00:29:54It's good for your circulation, Beryl. Read any women's magazine. It's good for theirs, too.
00:30:01I'm not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays.
00:30:04I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
00:30:07Or Saturdays.
00:30:08Beryl.
00:30:10Beryl.
00:30:12Beryl.
00:30:14Oh, Beryl.
00:30:16Oh, Geoffrey Bubblesbomble.
00:30:18Oh, Beryl.
00:30:20Oh, Geoffrey!
00:30:21Oh, Beryl!
00:30:23Are you all right? What exactly happened? Don't tell me.
00:30:26I just had a sharp achak of dramatic irony.
00:30:29Pardon?
00:30:30Come back.
00:30:35They're better.
00:30:36It's better.
00:30:37I'm OK.
00:30:41I told you, it's going to port.
00:30:44It's not!
00:30:48Urgh!
00:30:52It's only the angels crying.
00:30:56I know how they feel!
00:30:58Well, don't blame me. I haven't done anything.
00:31:01That's true!
00:31:03That's not true, Beryl. I have apologised.
00:31:06I keep going down on me knees when I'm talking to you.
00:31:09Independent observers think I'm training to be a Cossack dancer.
00:31:12It must be a bad line. I can't hear you.
00:31:15You'd better apologise again.
00:31:18I apologise again.
00:31:21Gosh, this lousy line!
00:31:24I wonder if Geoffrey would like to come to tea on Sunday?
00:31:28Pardon?
00:31:30Pardon?
00:31:32Is that who I think it is?
00:31:34No, dear.
00:31:46Well, isn't this nice?
00:31:51Sardine sandwich.
00:31:53Is it all sardine?
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:56She's got her own trawler.
00:32:04Isn't it awful?
00:32:06What?
00:32:07I was speaking to Geoffrey.
00:32:09What's happening in the world?
00:32:10I blame the politicians.
00:32:12What for?
00:32:13What's happening in the world?
00:32:18Talk to her.
00:32:21I can't speak Portuguese.
00:32:24Tasty.
00:32:26They're in oil.
00:32:28They're nice in oil.
00:32:29She's got a bad leg.
00:32:32The bread's extremely wholesome.
00:32:34I have this little baker down the road.
00:32:35He does something with the bleach.
00:32:40Yes.
00:32:47Can't do long conversations about sardine sandwiches.
00:32:50Your mind goes blank.
00:32:54Start thinking about life after death.
00:32:56Oh, that Neville, honestly.
00:33:02Number of hearts he must have broken.
00:33:06Every girl in Manchester nearly.
00:33:08Geoffrey definitely has.
00:33:11Probably even more.
00:33:13Air hostesses.
00:33:15All sorts.
00:33:17Tell me about your terrible past, Geoffrey.
00:33:20I haven't had one yet.
00:33:22White man speak with forked tongue.
00:33:24Actually, I was hoping more for a terrible future.
00:33:29Wow, is that the time?
00:33:34At this moment in time.
00:33:36What have I done?
00:33:38Is Neville the insanely jealous type?
00:33:40Quite in the slightest.
00:33:42You're lucky.
00:33:44Why, it's Geoffrey.
00:33:46Wow.
00:33:47You're not jealous of all my ex-flames, are you?
00:33:50Of course not. Why should I be?
00:33:52Please stop interrogating me, Geoffrey. Forget it.
00:33:56That's all in the past.
00:33:59Then, nothing to be jealous about.
00:34:04Who needs drama?
00:34:07So I shouted back at her.
00:34:09No shop assistant shouts at me, I shouted.
00:34:11In the end, Neville nearly bolted me for swearing.
00:34:14He thumped you.
00:34:15No.
00:34:17I said nearly.
00:34:19You'll never thump me, will you?
00:34:21Like Neville does Sandra.
00:34:23She adores it.
00:34:25Of course not.
00:34:27No.
00:34:29Geoffrey, Percy Filth isn't the only thing in life.
00:34:31It isn't even one of the things in mine.
00:34:32He used to talk to me.
00:34:33All right.
00:34:34Let's talk.
00:34:35Geoffrey, I've just had the most super idea.
00:34:36Why?
00:34:37Is your mum going out?
00:34:38May as well pack in, really.
00:34:39Why?
00:34:40Why not?
00:34:42Good thinking.
00:34:44Thanks for a stimulating few weeks.
00:34:46You too.
00:34:47It was real.
00:34:48Psychedelic.
00:34:49You can keep me grateful dead, LP.
00:34:50It was scratched, anyway.
00:34:51You can keep me grateful dead, LP.
00:34:52It was scratched, anyway.
00:34:53It's been a gasp.
00:34:54Groovy.
00:34:56I won't wave from the wind.
00:34:57What am I going to say?
00:34:58Why?
00:34:59Why not?
00:35:00Good thinking.
00:35:02Thanks for a stimulating few weeks.
00:35:08You too.
00:35:09It was real.
00:35:10Psychedelic.
00:35:11You can keep me grateful dead, LP.
00:35:12It was scratched, anyway.
00:35:13It's been a gasp.
00:35:14Groovy.
00:35:15I won't wave from the wind.
00:35:17Daddy, I won't wave from the wind.
00:35:18You won't wave from the wind.
00:35:21小ice.
00:35:22I won't wave from the window.
00:35:25Oh, I won't look back anyway.
00:35:27Good.
00:35:28It's been a gasp.
00:35:29You've said that once.
00:35:40You're well red barrel, there's plenty more fish in the sea.
00:35:45About three very lonely sardines.
00:35:48Mother, please don't try raising one eyebrow at me.
00:35:53You know you can't do it.
00:36:00You'll never thought of me, will you, Geoffrey?
00:36:03Ow!
00:36:04Beryl, I just had the most super idea.
00:36:07Are we going to put it up?
00:36:08No.
00:36:09We're going to pack it in.
00:36:10Don't say that.
00:36:11Please don't say that.
00:36:12That.
00:36:15Sandra.
00:36:16Sandra.
00:36:17Your Sandra?
00:36:19Mine.
00:36:23Two months?
00:36:24Two months, nine days.
00:36:28Is she positive?
00:36:29The test was.
00:36:30What are you going to do?
00:36:32She'll think of something.
00:36:34Sandra, it's stupendous.
00:36:37Congratulations, I hope you'll both be very happy.
00:36:41Oh, thanks, kid.
00:36:42Sandra, I don't know how you do it.
00:36:44Often.
00:36:45I don't know how you do it.
00:36:47Often.
00:36:48I don't know how you do it.
00:36:49Often.
00:36:50Firks.
00:36:51Nice.
00:36:52Engaged.
00:36:53Wah.
00:36:55Behind.
00:36:56Holli.
00:37:10Over.
00:37:11Food.
00:37:12Let's go.
00:37:42John for Pope, among my reign.
00:37:50Aren't you, er...
00:37:52Yeah.
00:37:55And you're, er...
00:37:56That's right.
00:37:59Going somewhere incredible.
00:38:00I'm meeting my parents.
00:38:02Taking them to see Fiddler on the roof.
00:38:04That's pretty incredible.
00:38:06Your mummy and daddy.
00:38:08Er...
00:38:10Oh, hell no, that's tomorrow.
00:38:13If I'm in the mood.
00:38:16Where you are.
00:38:18Depends where you take me.
00:38:30All I was saying about your friend with the glasses...
00:38:33Roland.
00:38:34Roland.
00:38:34Is that I found him intellectually unaware and psychologically incredibly boring.
00:38:39It's not bad at snooker.
00:38:40And how are you and little Beryl?
00:38:46Didn't she tell you?
00:38:47I don't work there anymore.
00:38:50I packed her in.
00:38:50Did she turn you off?
00:39:00Beryl?
00:39:01Beryl?
00:39:01Beryl.
00:39:02Beryl.
00:39:03Beryl.
00:39:03Beryl.
00:39:04Beryl.
00:39:04Beryl.
00:39:04Beryl.
00:39:04Beryl.
00:39:04Beryl.
00:39:05Beryl.
00:39:06Beryl.
00:39:06Beryl.
00:39:07Beryl.
00:39:07Beryl.
00:39:08Beryl.
00:39:08Beryl.
00:39:09Beryl.
00:39:10Beryl.
00:39:10Beryl.
00:39:11Beryl.
00:39:12Beryl.
00:39:13Beryl.
00:39:14Beryl.
00:39:15Beryl.
00:39:16Beryl.
00:39:17Beryl.
00:39:18Beryl.
00:39:19Beryl.
00:39:20Beryl.
00:39:21Beryl.
00:39:22Beryl.
00:39:23Beryl.
00:39:24Beryl.
00:39:25Beryl.
00:39:26Beryl.
00:39:27Beryl.
00:39:28Beryl.
00:39:29Beryl.
00:39:30Beryl.
00:39:31Beryl.
00:39:32Beryl.
00:39:33Beryl.
00:39:34Beryl.
00:39:35Beryl.
00:39:36Beryl.
00:39:37Beryl.
00:39:38Beryl.
00:39:39Beryl.
00:39:40Beryl.
00:39:41Beryl.
00:39:42Beryl.
00:39:43Beryl.
00:39:44Beryl.
00:39:45Beryl.
00:39:46Beryl.
00:39:47Beryl.
00:39:48Beryl.
00:39:49Beryl.
00:39:50Beryl.
00:39:51Joan of Arc never married, yet she led a full and happy life.
00:39:57Or am I thinking of someone else?
00:39:59Mother, I don't happen to be interested in boys.
00:40:02I happen to be interested in having early nights
00:40:04and writing poetry in bed with me Moe Felt-tip pen.
00:40:06It's run out of ink. I used it for me laundry list.
00:40:10My God, your generation's got a few things to answer for.
00:40:13Mmm. Mmm. Mmm, please. Mmm, don't.
00:40:17Mmm, please. You can't ravish a girl on her own doorstep.
00:40:21Mmm. Well, let's go inside, then.
00:40:25Mmm. Smooth-talking bastard.
00:40:33It is me birthday.
00:40:36What about the boy with the freckles from Shakespeare Crescent?
00:40:40I don't believe that question.
00:40:42You used to be crazy about him.
00:40:45I was 11 years old. He used to let me chalk on his tortoise.
00:40:51What's your name again?
00:40:55What's yours?
00:40:56What's yours?
00:40:56Rock.
00:40:57That's not your real name.
00:40:59No. Stephen.
00:41:01Mm.
00:41:02what's your name again what's yours rock that's not your real name no Stephen
00:41:27when I first met you in the street I thought just a quiet drink and a chat shows you the art of
00:41:44conversation ain't dead don't move a muscle however gorgeous
00:41:57testing testing Jeffrey Milleup returns to the day I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself
00:42:25I'm fed up
00:42:43who are you who are you what are you fed up about teachers don't have to do homework
00:42:53no they just mark it anyone can mark it they've got the answers
00:43:00do you know it's after two o'clock what's he doing here then
00:43:09well this is your uncle Stephen this is my revolting brother Jeremy
00:43:19how do you do don't me mum and dad know he's here Jeremy bed I could always wake him up and tell him
00:43:28Jeremy little boys need sleep
00:43:33even big astronauts do you know where babies come from
00:43:39do you say no no I do say yes shall I tell you he knows the man has this male organ and some blood
00:43:51cells and erectile glands and there's these 500 million spermatozoas in these testes that he has
00:43:57as well and they go through his male organ into the female uterus that the lady has
00:44:02who told you that then they go to the fallopian tubes after that one of them fertilizes with the
00:44:08female egg the others don't bother anyway that's what you have to do then you have a baby
00:44:15did they teach you that at school they do woodwork in the next class
00:44:20people can only make babies at certain times of the year
00:44:24but animals like dogs and cats and giraffes I think
00:44:28do it all the time no that's people what is well people do it all the time
00:44:41whenever they feel like it
00:44:46in the next class you can do metal work if you don't like woodwork
00:44:53good night Jeremy 25 p 50 50
00:45:12good night uncle Steven
00:45:23we would have done that wouldn't we and how
00:45:50you can't win them all can you anyway do you good going without for a change
00:46:05still there's always another day tomorrow
00:46:08no
00:46:09tomorrow's another day
00:46:10shh
00:46:11not unless you happen to be in Plymouth
00:46:13where
00:46:15I'm joining the wrens for three years
00:46:18what wrens
00:46:21the Royal Navy's wrens
00:46:23this time tomorrow I'll be in barracks with about 50 other girls and 30,000 sailors
00:46:30hope I like it
00:46:32thanks for nearly everything
00:46:38we definitely would have done wouldn't we
00:46:42well obviously
00:46:43we
00:46:44we
00:46:45as good as dead in a way really
00:46:46almost
00:46:47just keep telling yourself and we will have
00:46:50only better
00:46:51good night love
00:46:53try a barrel
00:46:55good morning previous generation
00:47:16Morning, previous generation.
00:47:26What's for breakfast?
00:47:31You knew it was your mother's birthday.
00:47:33What we'd like to know is where were you while we were fiddling on the flaming roof?
00:47:37I'm sorry, Mum. I'll take you out another night. Something cropped up.
00:47:41Like what?
00:47:43Dad, you understand.
00:47:46I don't, Geoffrey.
00:47:49Well, you always say you do.
00:47:51Geoffrey, you're at it every night.
00:47:54Yes, Dad. And we don't complain. No, Dad.
00:47:57But last night was different. I knew you'd understand.
00:48:16I knew you'd like to be a good one.
00:48:18I knew you'd like to know.
00:48:20It's true.
00:48:21I knew you'd like to know.
00:48:22I knew you'd like to know.
00:48:24CHALTON FOR POPE
00:48:30CHALTON FOR POPE
00:48:32what's going on?
00:48:34pounds down again
00:48:36up and down like a pair of knickers
00:48:38you should know
00:48:40or me
00:48:42you know what I mean?
00:48:44what a night
00:48:46wow
00:48:48a lot
00:48:50including action replays in slow motion
00:48:53hey lads I picked up a bit of spare last night
00:48:59who didn't?
00:49:00no it's true
00:49:02yes Geoffrey
00:49:04it is
00:49:06yes Geoffrey
00:49:12bloody is
00:49:16poor Geoffrey
00:49:17Beryl please it's Neville's engagement party as well
00:49:20you had to invite him
00:49:22he'll see me
00:49:23it's cruel
00:49:24he'll see other girls
00:49:26I shan't take him back Sandra
00:49:28I shan't
00:49:30it's been two weeks he may have got over you by now
00:49:33don't know much about men do you love?
00:49:37it was doing him a kindness really
00:49:38finally splitting up
00:49:39it was doing him a kindness really
00:49:43finally splitting up
00:49:44he only had one ambition in life
00:49:45send my knickers to Oxfam
00:49:49send my knickers to Oxfam
00:49:50good job she hasn't joined a rent
00:49:55the entire navy had gone strike
00:49:56I expect he's sorry now
00:49:57I won't even consider taking him back if he isn't
00:49:59I won't even consider taking him back if he isn't
00:50:03she might have changed of course
00:50:04if she has I might have let her have the old orgy now and again
00:50:05I won't even consider taking him back if he isn't
00:50:09he's got to accept we've finally split up otherwise I definitely won't take him back
00:50:17well I'm certainly not making the first move
00:50:18at least I've got me back to the old orgy now and again
00:50:23I'm not sure you've got to get me back to the old orgy now and again
00:50:28good job she hasn't joined the rent the entire navy had gone strike
00:50:33I expect he's sorry now
00:50:35I won't even consider taking him back if he isn't
00:50:38she might have changed of course
00:50:41if she has I might have let her have the old orgy now and again
00:50:43he's got to accept we've finally split up
00:50:45otherwise I definitely won't take him back
00:50:46I left with Beryl, baby.
00:50:49Oh, hi. Didn't see you. No, nor me.
00:50:54And how's Manchester City doing without me cheering them on, then?
00:50:57United. We're winning every game now.
00:51:00Oh, good.
00:51:02And what's new with Geoffrey, then?
00:51:09Er, I asked you what was new with him.
00:51:16Did you? Need I say more?
00:51:20Pardon? How's Beryl, baby, getting on, then?
00:51:23Geoffrey, I'm not all that ecstatic about you calling me Beryl, baby.
00:51:27It isn't like you. Say that again, Beryl, baby.
00:51:33What's your name, handsome?
00:51:36You laugh. Everybody laughs. It's the story of my life.
00:51:41You tell it like it is, Chuck.
00:51:50She's putting on an axe.
00:51:53What do you care?
00:51:55I don't have all babies.
00:52:02Is she going to get into bed with him now?
00:52:06Probably.
00:52:10Geoffrey always looks half asleep these days.
00:52:12Well, it's very exhausting.
00:52:16What is?
00:52:18Working in a bank.
00:52:19Oh.
00:52:20I had this bad scene, this chick, and decided to split.
00:52:33So I cut out, man, like there's no tomorrow.
00:52:39This cat gets it together where he's at, man.
00:52:42What?
00:52:44Love's a beautiful bag, baby.
00:52:47So if you want a piece of the action,
00:52:50don't cool it.
00:52:53Dig?
00:52:55Hm?
00:52:57I'm sorry, I no understand English.
00:53:07Gesundheit.
00:53:09I thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one.
00:53:13She has.
00:53:15And which is her husband?
00:53:16Neither.
00:53:17Neither.
00:53:22It's warming up, isn't it?
00:53:31Great beat, isn't it?
00:53:33Great to dance to.
00:53:35Do you agree that life's an onion?
00:53:40Pardon?
00:53:42If so, what's death?
00:53:44Erm...
00:53:46A banana.
00:53:48Yes, I expect it is when you think about it.
00:53:50Have you read Schopenhauer's Concept of Existence?
00:53:53Erm...
00:53:55No.
00:53:56But I've seen the film.
00:53:58Are you married?
00:54:00No.
00:54:02Grab yourself an adage.
00:54:04Marriage is a cabbage.
00:54:06Are you a poet?
00:54:08Never ask the questions.
00:54:09Ask the answers.
00:54:11You are a poet.
00:54:13To any manager, Marks and Spencers.
00:54:16Good job.
00:54:27I really dirt you.
00:54:30Now he's taking his clothes off.
00:54:34What's on ITV?
00:54:36This.
00:54:38What's on BBC?
00:54:43Casinova.
00:54:45What's that like?
00:54:47This.
00:54:49Oh, come on now.
00:54:51You know that's not where it's at.
00:54:53Let's get this.
00:54:54What's the word?
00:54:55Let's get it clear.
00:54:57Let's get down to the real nitty grittiesville.
00:54:59Okay?
00:55:00Mm.
00:55:09Women's lip is not about burning brass.
00:55:13Papers, yeah.
00:55:15What papers?
00:55:16A marriage certificate.
00:55:17A marriage certificate.
00:55:18A dog's licence.
00:55:19Whatever you prefer to call it.
00:55:21Look, let's be basic about this, Enid.
00:55:23All girls want marriage.
00:55:24And a white wedding.
00:55:26Really basic?
00:55:27You want to be really basic?
00:55:28Utterly basic.
00:55:29Utterly basic.
00:55:30Bulls.
00:55:32Grass?
00:55:34Enid.
00:55:36When Sandra says every girl, she means most girls.
00:55:39Well, like herself.
00:55:41Not me, of course, because I incredibly value my independence.
00:55:44But most girls definitely want...
00:55:46Bulls!
00:55:48If you can't conduct an intelligent conversation without recourse to...
00:55:51I'm not recourseing to anything.
00:55:52I'm merely telling you what girls want.
00:55:55Bulls!
00:55:57Would you please stop saying that?
00:56:00You believe in free love, right?
00:56:02Wrong!
00:56:03I believe in free everything.
00:56:04Freedom from all male chauvinists.
00:56:05Pig domination.
00:56:07Honestly, don't you understand?
00:56:09Excuse me, you've got your hand on me.
00:56:10If we're liberating society for the future, I'm sure.
00:56:12No, thank you.
00:56:13Excuse me, excuse me, you've got your hand on me.
00:56:15No!
00:56:17Oh, sorry.
00:56:19Well, I'm sorry.
00:56:21It's all right.
00:56:22Oh, gee.
00:56:23It's a pleasure.
00:56:24Grass?
00:56:25Geoffrey, if not to.
00:56:26Why not?
00:56:27I said don't, you're not to smoke it.
00:56:29Oh, wow.
00:56:39We're as liberated as you, Enid.
00:56:42We've equal importance as individuals.
00:56:44Neither of us is boss.
00:56:46It just doesn't arise.
00:56:48We'll make some coffee, kid.
00:56:50You see, what we believe is...
00:56:51Now!
00:56:55You see...
00:56:56Where are one?
00:56:57I can see there's only one way to get through.
00:57:05What are you doing?
00:57:06Lighting everybody's fire.
00:57:11Burn my bra.
00:57:12Right.
00:57:13That's it.
00:57:18Finished.
00:57:19The end.
00:57:20Full stop.
00:57:22We've finally split up.
00:57:24Neville, Sandra wants you.
00:57:26I should imagine.
00:57:29Sad, isn't it?
00:57:33Pathetic.
00:57:34Well, I can't follow plays these days.
00:57:41It's just showing real life, that's all.
00:57:43Good girl.
00:57:48I once thought I'd found her.
00:57:51The perfect girl.
00:57:53Red hair.
00:57:55Not too skinny.
00:57:56Yeah.
00:57:57Very gentle and shy.
00:58:02Passionate when roused.
00:58:03Yeah.
00:58:06She packed me in for picking my teeth with a matchstick.
00:58:09You're very sweet, Roland.
00:58:12I've always thought you were.
00:58:13Did you know you very nearly have a lopsided grin?
00:58:17It's just I'm a bit tired.
00:58:18No, it's nice.
00:58:20I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:21I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:22No, it's nice.
00:58:25It's nice.
00:58:40I don't think I've washed that one.
00:58:42Oh, sorry.
00:58:55Do you know...
00:58:56What, Beryl?
00:58:57She can ask me anything.
00:58:59Do you know where Geoffrey's got to?
00:59:04He's upstairs, I think.
00:59:05Is it true they're dry on their own?
00:59:15Usually.
00:59:22I hate to be any trouble, but I think I'm dying.
00:59:25You'll be all right, honest.
00:59:27She said I shouldn't smoke it.
00:59:30Who?
00:59:31She said...
00:59:32Geoffrey?
00:59:35Geoffrey?
00:59:38Geoffrey?
00:59:45Sorry.
00:59:52Geoffrey?
00:59:57Move up a bit, Geoffrey.
00:59:59Put your legs...
01:00:01That's better.
01:00:05It's because it's your first time, isn't it?
01:00:13Call Dr. Weisberg.
01:00:15Quilmslow Road.
01:00:21It wasn't marijuana, you know.
01:00:26What was it then?
01:00:27Grass.
01:00:28Grass.
01:00:30Grass is marijuana.
01:00:32This grass wasn't.
01:00:36It was the real thing.
01:00:39From the front lawn.
01:00:40Is that you, Beryl?
01:00:54Had a nice time?
01:00:56Even though it's three o'clock in the morning.
01:00:59Not that I mind, if you've had a nice time.
01:01:02Even though I've been in bed since ten, having a good night's worry.
01:01:05Did you see Geoffrey?
01:01:06That's good.
01:01:07Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard?
01:01:08Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard?
01:01:09I didn't try at all.
01:01:10Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard?
01:01:11I didn't try at all.
01:01:12Gave me to rest.
01:01:13Do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard?
01:01:17I didn't try at all.
01:01:18Gave me to rest.
01:01:19I'm right off, birds.
01:01:20I am.
01:01:21I'm right off, birds.
01:01:22I am.
01:01:23I am.
01:01:24For good.
01:01:25Is that what you ought to get?
01:01:26The man?
01:01:28Really?
01:01:29You're coming.
01:01:30I was trying to get the feeling you're trying too hard.
01:01:34I'm not trying to get the feeling you're trying too hard.
01:01:37I didn't try at all.
01:01:40Gave me to rest.
01:01:44I'm right off, birds.
01:01:47I am.
01:01:48For good.
01:01:50Me too.
01:01:52And me.
01:02:12Good morning.
01:02:14Your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel.
01:02:16Can I?
01:02:46Good morning.
01:02:48Good morning.
01:02:50Good morning.
01:02:52Good morning.
01:02:54Good morning.
01:02:56Good morning.
01:02:58Good morning.
01:03:00Good morning.
01:03:02Good morning.
01:03:04Good morning.
01:03:06Good morning.
01:03:08Good morning.
01:03:10Good morning.
01:03:12Good morning.
01:03:14Good morning.
01:03:16Good morning.
01:03:18can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you oh Beryl oh Geoffrey oh God
01:03:33hello
01:03:43will you be required in the room again sir because we're thinking of taking bookings for the next pop
01:03:50festival in Madrid I don't know who he takes after
01:04:03hello it's me who my god that's symbolic oh hello Beryl I'm just ringing to tell you I never want
01:04:12to see you again if you have a phone or call please don't because I shan't be in tonight or
01:04:17any other night anyway tonight I'm helping me mum at the school jumble sale
01:04:33a small world
01:04:49good evening Mrs Battersby I was looking for a nice lampshade
01:04:56oh probably this one definitely magic in satin oh certainly Geoffrey who's here in his nice
01:05:06crimson shoes you'd like some nice fancy random paper wouldn't you
01:05:14I'm a child of the universe Beryl I have a right to be here I'm afraid we don't sell marijuana on
01:05:21Sundays try the co-op Beryl listen if you can smell burning it's just that the vicar's been
01:05:25around burning his jock strap Beryl listen have you got that in another colour no madam I'll leave it then
01:05:32listen to what for heaven's sake don't matter what doesn't you wouldn't anyway wouldn't what
01:05:48go to the match with me on Saturday me a football match with 40,000 skinheads and you told you
01:05:58who are they playing
01:06:01Huddersfield town in the cop I've always wanted to watch Huddersfield town
01:06:12the fourth from the bottom shows you
01:06:20away from home they've won three drawn five and lost 12
01:06:28drawn five
01:06:30so what do you think
01:06:35I think I nearly love you
01:06:38never mind it's only a game
01:07:05I thought you said you nearly love me
01:07:08I don't recall Grace Kelly enticing Prince Rainier by going to watch United I may be wrong
01:07:22Grace who?
01:07:24we live in a permissive society Beryl read any colour supplement
01:07:27mother you're supposed to be my mother
01:07:30I am love and it wasn't through going to football matches
01:07:33you are the same mother that makes me tug my skirt down every time I stand up even if he's only on the phone
01:07:38yes so well uh boys are very safe and I am your mother
01:07:43that's what I said
01:07:45I don't mean uh permissive permissive
01:07:50see
01:07:52romantic
01:07:53pardon
01:07:55kissing
01:07:57cuddling
01:07:57things of that nature
01:08:00oh we do
01:08:03do what?
01:08:05what you just said
01:08:06good
01:08:07not too much I hope
01:08:09oh god
01:08:10boys are very funny
01:08:11they're novices compared to mothers
01:08:13did I tell you that two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains?
01:08:22oh
01:08:23two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains
01:08:29fantastic
01:08:32the cowgills
01:08:39mr and mrs cowgill
01:08:41married couple
01:08:43newlyweds
01:08:45not long married
01:08:47you go bald doing that
01:08:50doing what?
01:08:52you go bald doing that
01:08:53doing what?
01:08:54you go bald doing that
01:08:55doing what?
01:08:56I tell you 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains
01:09:08living in sin
01:09:10can you say one single sentence without the word marriage in it?
01:09:20if I said to you do you think cassius clay would have beaten rocky marciano would you say what's it matter so long as they're happily married?
01:09:27I don't think so
01:09:28I don't think so
01:09:29I don't think so
01:09:30I don't think so
01:09:31Beryl would
01:09:34given you a bad time is she?
01:09:37oh
01:09:38I wouldn't say that
01:09:39I haven't even mentioned the word
01:09:45what word
01:09:46what word?
01:09:47goodness me
01:09:48a single person can have a relationship with another single person without everyone thinking she's automatically
01:09:52I never said you were
01:09:54you think it
01:09:55all right Geoffrey
01:10:10I hereby promise never to utter the word again
01:10:15marriage?
01:10:16never
01:10:18well
01:10:19until I am
01:10:20if I ever do
01:10:21which I fervently hope I never will
01:10:23for someone who's not uttering something when's your old pee coming out?
01:10:30no two people have a divine right to happiness Geoffrey
01:10:34you mustn't feel guilty about me
01:10:37sorry
01:10:38no one can say you've completely ruined me life
01:10:43not yet
01:10:49what are you staring at?
01:10:55hello?
01:10:56you all right son?
01:10:57terrific
01:10:58why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat then?
01:11:01your mother's theory is you're overworking
01:11:03hmm
01:11:04my theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird
01:11:08oh
01:11:09what's your theory?
01:11:10indigestion
01:11:12oh
01:11:14what's yours Sundance?
01:11:17hasn't he said anything at all?
01:11:19he has said one thing
01:11:20oh what's that?
01:11:21if god had meant sardines to be in oil it had given them dipsticks all right
01:11:26the weeks and months drag by and with neither side willing to compromise we still have deadlock
01:11:34her majesty's government have consistently tried to find a way out of this dilemma
01:11:39another wild night learning what NO spells and how many of us school pals are getting married
01:11:44and what NO spells
01:11:46and what NO spells
01:11:47great
01:11:49i might as well go bald and open me own monastery
01:11:52and so society that's you and me says end this dispute
01:11:58end it now
01:11:59good night
01:12:00hear hear
01:12:02good weren't i?
01:12:03terrific
01:12:05especially when he said good night
01:12:08we're just enjoying ourselves
01:12:10having a good time
01:12:12just having fun
01:12:14being happy
01:12:16take two a day
01:12:18after meals
01:12:19and one if you find yourself crying your heart out again in the middle of a zebra crossing for no reason at all
01:12:23you're sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend?
01:12:29absolutely positive
01:12:33that was the first film we ever saw together
01:12:37make that three a day after meals
01:12:49look Beryl
01:12:50how's this for a peace plan?
01:12:51you join a marriage bureau
01:12:54and i'll get a job on the stage
01:12:56twice nightly in Denmark
01:12:58then we'll both be happy
01:13:00right?
01:13:01right
01:13:02good jesus christ superstar
01:13:03amen
01:13:06oh hell
01:13:07arms up again
01:13:08see you tomorrow
01:13:10where do you think you're going?
01:13:17Geoffrey i'll get the sack
01:13:18it's important
01:13:21what is
01:13:22what is?
01:13:24i keep asking you what is
01:13:28what is?
01:13:30to be on our own
01:13:32what?
01:13:34so's we can talk
01:13:36what?
01:13:37i've had an old speech worked out on the bus this morning
01:13:47the only bit i can remember is
01:13:49and that's what i think
01:13:51last night i dreamt i was in goal for manchester united and grace kelly kicked nine goals past me
01:13:56grace who?
01:13:57she was playing for united as well
01:14:00weird isn't it?
01:14:09the main thing is
01:14:12we do communicate
01:14:14oh we do
01:14:15what?
01:14:16so what?
01:14:17i'm going to see you
01:14:18what?
01:14:19i think
01:14:20what was i thinking?
01:14:21see what i think
01:14:22see what i think?
01:14:23see what i think?
01:14:24see what i think?
01:14:25go on
01:14:26no you, mine wasn't important
01:14:29no mum wasn't
01:14:30Your mum wasn't.
01:14:41Beryl?
01:14:45Are you...
01:14:48happy? Of course.
01:14:50Very.
01:14:53I am.
01:14:55No-one is every second of every minute of every day.
01:15:00No.
01:15:03I'm not.
01:15:08Do you think it's because we love each other, do you think?
01:15:16Probably.
01:15:17I've not actually said the words often.
01:15:20Well, not in so many words.
01:15:22Mostly in words to that effect.
01:15:30Is there anything you don't love about me?
01:15:40No. I don't think so.
01:15:43Honestly, no.
01:15:44Nothing.
01:15:45Nothing.
01:15:46If there is, you just tell me and I'll stop doing it.
01:15:48There isn't anything.
01:15:49Honest.
01:15:50Good.
01:15:54It wouldn't upset me.
01:15:55It would just make me a better human being to deserve your love.
01:16:03Like, you know, crimson shoes and bottle green socks.
01:16:10Well, you don't wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks, Beryl.
01:16:13If I did, I'd stop.
01:16:14To please you.
01:16:19I see.
01:16:25There's no need to be sensitive, Jeffrey.
01:16:27In a meaningful relationship, you must like even what you don't.
01:16:30Your mother.
01:16:33Pardon?
01:16:34I like your mother.
01:16:35Please don't sulk, Jeffrey.
01:16:36Hand her lampshades.
01:16:37Sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person.
01:16:41Well, you ought to know. You've almost made it an art form.
01:16:45Anything else at random?
01:16:46You've got 24 hours to spare.
01:16:48After all, I'm no Bridgette Bardot.
01:16:51According to reliable sources in Saint-Tropez, she's 105 next birthday.
01:16:54Over 98% of the male population of Manchester and Salford can tell the difference between Bridgette Bardot and Beryl Battersby.
01:17:00Ask any opinion poll. I'm much fatter for a start.
01:17:03You're not all that fat, Beryl.
01:17:04I am.
01:17:05Start slimming.
01:17:06Men like something to get hold of.
01:17:08If they're allowed to get hold of it.
01:17:10You always succeed in getting back to Percy Filth in the end, don't you? Always.
01:17:14No, I don't, Beryl. You do. I always fail.
01:17:17Do you know what some girls find extremely likeable?
01:17:19The extremely likeable way some boys stare at every girl they see.
01:17:23Boys like it when girls tell them what N-O spells.
01:17:26Especially for the 600th time. That they really dig.
01:17:29You never say dig.
01:17:31I did then.
01:17:33Your passionate, unrequited love for 11 boring men kicking a ball about.
01:17:37That's really lovable.
01:17:39I never knew you thought that.
01:17:42Neither did I.
01:17:44Do now, though.
01:17:53I used to say dig before I met you.
01:17:59I used to say all sorts of things.
01:18:05There's a lot about me I can't even remember.
01:18:23I used to say all sorts of things.
01:18:29Thinking what I'm thinking.
01:18:33I think so.
01:18:35We just don't like each other.
01:18:38At all.
01:18:39Oh, goodbye then.
01:18:53Good luck.
01:18:55Peace, ma'am.
01:19:00St Anne's Square.
01:19:01St Anne's Square, please.
01:19:13So that just leaves a cot, two matinee coats, two romper suits.
01:19:20And what else do I need?
01:19:22Oh, yes, a ring.
01:19:24Teething ring?
01:19:26Wedding ring.
01:19:27Of course.
01:19:29Oh, they have gorgeous plans in the shops these days.
01:19:32No wonder everyone's at it.
01:19:35Oh, sorry.
01:19:37What about?
01:19:38Skip it.
01:19:40About time, too.
01:19:42A bit of sympathy.
01:19:44Not that I need any, actually.
01:19:45I've never been as happy in me life.
01:19:47But she doesn't know that.
01:19:49If I'm looking miserable, Sandrick,
01:19:51it's because I'm feeling happy for you.
01:19:53Yeah.
01:19:58We know what you must be thinking.
01:19:59Of course we do.
01:20:01How to pop the pink without going in off.
01:20:08Ace.
01:20:11She used to wear pink, you know.
01:20:13I won't tell you where.
01:20:14Yeah.
01:20:17A hell of a lot more where hers came from.
01:20:19Wow.
01:20:24Did you want the chalk, Geoffrey?
01:20:27I know, spells no.
01:20:30Super day for it.
01:20:32Hmm, sin being inside a day like this.
01:20:36Well, Sandra, this is it.
01:20:39Yep.
01:20:40The big day.
01:20:41Yep.
01:20:42Coming to the crotch.
01:20:44Crunch.
01:20:46I dare say it'll hardly break my heart in the slightest,
01:20:48seeing him again.
01:20:50You mustn't think I'll be crying inside,
01:20:52because I most definitely won't be.
01:20:55And what's more, no one will know that I am.
01:20:58Because I shan't.
01:21:00Truly.
01:21:02Sandra, please, you've enough to think of.
01:21:05It's a big day for you as well, really, isn't it?
01:21:14And now one of the bride and groom on their own.
01:21:18Do you mind stepping back, sir?
01:21:20Eh, fine.
01:21:22This is fine enough.
01:21:23Here?
01:21:24About there, lovely.
01:21:26You can kiss the bride on this one, sir.
01:21:28Wow.
01:21:29Official permission to actually kiss her.
01:21:30Ow!
01:21:33Oh, sorry.
01:21:35That's right.
01:21:36Hold it.
01:21:38Lovely.
01:21:40Right, now, a nice family group of the parents, please.
01:21:43Bride parents and the bride.
01:21:45I remember the Friday lunchtime they first met.
01:21:48How have you been?
01:21:50Absolutely great.
01:21:52You?
01:21:53Never better.
01:21:54Ever.
01:21:55That's it, hold it like that.
01:21:57It's all over now.
01:21:59Bar the salmon salad.
01:22:02It's tuna fish.
01:22:04It's life.
01:22:12See, President Nick.
01:22:13Somewhere to China, then.
01:22:15That was before we ever met.
01:22:17I know.
01:22:18Why?
01:22:19Has something happened about it?
01:22:21No.
01:22:22Could I trouble you for the salad cream, please?
01:22:24Hmm.
01:22:27Speaking personally, I think there are enough problems to sort out on Earth without going to the moon.
01:22:32Nixon?
01:22:34Why is he going?
01:22:36No.
01:22:38The astronauts.
01:22:39Oh.
01:22:41It's the wives and sweethearts I feel sorry for.
01:22:46We never really talked, did we? About things that matter.
01:22:50Good, isn't it?
01:22:51Shows with friends.
01:22:52Now that we know we don't like each other.
01:22:55Everybody thinks we're broken hearted.
01:23:01We've really grown up, haven't we?
01:23:03My mother's convinced herself we split up because we had too much Percy filth.
01:23:07I'm right off it myself.
01:23:09I've been able to walk off buses perfectly normally for the past few weeks.
01:23:13Aw.
01:23:14I expect it's only temporary.
01:23:16I hope not.
01:23:17It's marvellous.
01:23:18Good.
01:23:19I don't fancy you in the slightest now.
01:23:22Thank you, love.
01:23:26Still off the food, I noticed.
01:23:32And we've learnt a fantastic amount for the future.
01:23:35Fantastic.
01:23:36For example, say I finally did marry someone like you, only someone I love.
01:23:41I bet I'd now let him wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks every night.
01:23:45You better bet.
01:23:50And you'll probably meet some little fatty who's never even heard of Kenny Warhol and marry her three days later.
01:23:59We probably won't see each other at all now, we're pals.
01:24:02I expect you're going to the match this afternoon.
01:24:04Oh, yeah.
01:24:06I'm helping Sandra Packer go in a way case.
01:24:08Where's she going?
01:24:09Hospital.
01:24:13Well, we'll bump into each other sometime.
01:24:17Well, we'll be gettingitaries at the next time.
01:24:49Oh, hello, Mrs. Battersby.
01:24:59You won't remember me.
01:25:01Good afternoon, Geoffrey.
01:25:04Oh, um, is, uh, is Beryl there, please?
01:25:08She's gone to the football match.
01:25:12There is no football. It's cricket now.
01:25:15Well, it's the same thing, isn't it?
01:25:19Oh, hello.
01:25:39Hi.
01:25:40When's the kick-off?
01:25:44In about three months. Football season's over now, Beryl.
01:25:48What on earth did you want to come for?
01:25:52I forgot. I'm not all that interested these days.
01:25:58Where will you go now, then?
01:26:00I don't know.
01:26:04I could always go inside and practise booing for next season.
01:26:10Where will you?
01:26:12Might go and get a new pair of tights.
01:26:14Hey, it's like the countryside, isn't it, when it's empty?
01:26:17Fancy a stroll in the country?
01:26:19May as well, if you like. Don't mind. Why not?
01:26:24Just as friends.
01:26:26Oh, I meant just as friends. Yeah, I did.
01:26:35Wish we had a ball.
01:26:38I could play shooting in.
01:26:42You could go in goal.
01:26:49Amazing how people change, isn't it?
01:26:51Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.
01:27:08We'll be even happier with someone else.
01:27:11Anyone, really.
01:27:12There's millions to choose from.
01:27:13All nearly exactly right for us.
01:27:15You'll find someone, Geoffrey.
01:27:16You'll find someone, Geoffrey.
01:27:17Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.
01:27:23Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.
01:27:25We'll be even happier with someone else.
01:27:26Anyone, really.
01:27:27There's millions to choose from.
01:27:37All nearly exactly right for us.
01:27:41You'll find someone, Geoffrey.
01:27:44You will, Beryl.
01:27:46Just a matter of keeping your eyes open, really.
01:27:49Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:57USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
01:28:27And you'll find sometimes, love and rainy weather can turn out fine.
01:28:38Getting wet together's fun, when the crying's dark.
01:28:46Love and rainy weather are followed by the sun.
01:28:57Love and rainy weather.
01:29:00Love and rainy weather.
01:29:05Love and rainy weather are followed by the sun.
01:29:22Love and rainy weather.
01:29:25Love and rainy weather.
01:29:30Love and rainy weather.
01:29:32Love and rainy weather.
01:29:33Love and rainy weather is safety good for you.
01:29:34Love and rainy weather.
01:29:38Love and rainy weather.
01:29:40Love and rainy weather.
01:29:41Bye.
01:29:43Love and rainy weather.
01:29:44Get everybody ready for you.
01:29:45Come on.
01:29:46Bye.
01:29:47Bye.
01:29:48Cheers, propels me.
01:29:50Bye.
01:29:52Let's look at the Holy Miss
01:29:54appart��我說 sk 상 nah.
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