- 3 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:02CastingWords
00:01:04CastingWords
00:01:06CastingWords
00:01:08But we live in a permissive society.
00:01:10Not on this street we don't.
00:01:12Everybody's at it.
00:01:14Not with me they're not.
00:01:16Girls are supposed to be crying out for it.
00:01:18Not this one.
00:01:20I'm the silent majority.
00:01:22It's only manners these days.
00:01:24Total strangers do it now instead of shaking hands.
00:01:26God is Lord.
00:01:29Jesus.
00:01:31Jesus.
00:01:32We've never seen him in real life though.
00:01:58Oh, he's picturing the papers.
00:02:01Oh, come on, Sandra, let's go.
00:02:03No, I don't want to.
00:02:04Oh, I'm standing out here. It's stupid.
00:02:06But he might come in a minute.
00:02:08Somebody waited ages yesterday and he never turned up there.
00:02:10But that was yesterday. He might be here today.
00:02:12Oh, that little birdie dust standing here.
00:02:14Come on.
00:02:14Come on, you're supposed to be going shopping.
00:02:16Oh, wait.
00:02:17Oh, please, let's go.
00:02:22Oh, no.
00:02:23I told you so, didn't I?
00:02:25I feel a right twit now.
00:02:26I don't fancy yours.
00:02:30Which is mine?
00:02:32Any except the blonde.
00:02:34Oh, good.
00:02:36Who are being stared at?
00:02:38Where?
00:02:41Don't fancy yours.
00:02:45Which is mine?
00:02:47Any.
00:02:48Except the blonde or the one with the yellow legs.
00:02:52Thanks.
00:02:54Neither do I.
00:02:54Fancy the one with the twitch.
00:03:00About as much as Mountsy-Tung's granddad, with all due respect.
00:03:04To his granddad.
00:03:06Ask him if they do a turn.
00:03:08You.
00:03:09I thought we were giving sex up.
00:03:11There's a protest at never getting any.
00:03:14Ignore them.
00:03:14Hi.
00:03:24Hi.
00:03:26Hi.
00:03:26Hi.
00:03:27Hi.
00:03:33Peace, ma'am.
00:03:34Were you hoping to see Georgie Best?
00:03:37He's in Majorca.
00:03:39Come on, then.
00:03:41May only get an hour for lunch.
00:03:42It's a discotheque in Albert Square.
00:03:52Come on.
00:03:53I thought we were going for tights.
00:03:58It's our lunch hour.
00:04:01It's ours.
00:04:02We were going for lunch.
00:04:08Shall I tell you something pretty mind-blowing about Majorca?
00:04:11It's one place I've never been.
00:04:15Pardon?
00:04:17I'm Geoffrey.
00:04:20I don't happen to be attached.
00:04:22I'm Beryl.
00:04:23I don't happen to be surprised.
00:04:25Don't you worry.
00:04:43Love and rainy weather may sound funny, but they go together fine.
00:04:53Every single time.
00:04:55Every single time.
00:04:59Love and rainy weather.
00:05:01First you're up there.
00:05:04On another plane and then you're nowhere.
00:05:08And the tears are raining down.
00:05:13It's a run around.
00:05:15It's a run around.
00:05:19Love and rainy weather.
00:05:25Sure can get you down.
00:05:32Now, going twisting tonight, then?
00:05:34That's the modern name for it, isn't it?
00:05:40For what?
00:05:41Cutting a rug.
00:05:44Pardon?
00:05:45Grooving, Mildred.
00:05:46It's called grooving nowadays.
00:05:48Grooving and or freaking.
00:05:50Right?
00:05:51What I'm not doing tonight.
00:05:53Right.
00:05:54Right on.
00:05:56You're staying in tonight, then?
00:05:57Tonight.
00:05:58Tomorrow night.
00:05:59Every night.
00:06:01They might sell me overcoat.
00:06:03Life's not all pleasure, you know.
00:06:06Mildred, don't hassle the lad.
00:06:09Hassle.
00:06:11It's a different world today, Mildred.
00:06:13We had a week's honeymoon in Blackpool for what this finny haddy cost.
00:06:18They do their own thing.
00:06:19The usual 1,300 weight.
00:06:24Now, that's the new world that we work for.
00:06:27And fought for.
00:06:29Full-page advert for contraception.
00:06:31It's his birthright.
00:06:33It's his birthright.
00:06:33It's his birthright.
00:06:35I'm not hungry.
00:06:37What's that supposed to mean?
00:06:39It's the hip way cool people say I'm not hungry.
00:06:42I enjoy staying in Chattingham an evening.
00:07:03I find it fantastically enjoyable.
00:07:06No, really.
00:07:08I really do.
00:07:09Some people don't.
00:07:12I do.
00:07:14Beryl, please take my word for it.
00:07:16Paul McCartney's never going to ring that doorbell and invite you to the pictures.
00:07:20Paul McCartney who?
00:07:21He doesn't know you've been faithful to him ever since our day's night.
00:07:24And please don't say Paul McCartney who.
00:07:27I sacrifice too much for your six-old levels.
00:07:30You were terrific in the pictures.
00:07:34I never touched you.
00:07:35Terrific self-control.
00:07:37What did you say your name was?
00:07:43Mind you, just a weekend I do with you, Paul.
00:08:05Not a dirty weekend.
00:08:07A disgusting one.
00:08:10Night-night, Percy Filth.
00:08:24Have you always been insatiable?
00:08:26It's not my fault.
00:08:30It's just that I don't like blondes.
00:08:35It's psychosomatic.
00:08:40I'm sorry.
00:08:41Oh, Sandra.
00:09:04It is almost blonde in this light.
00:09:07what's wrong just being brave what about ending it all before we hurt each other too much
00:09:22it's our first date
00:09:24probably wasted your entire evening haven't i not yet not if your parents aren't back till midnight
00:09:37don't you think you're too old for this sort of thing straight from stanley matthews to bridget bardo
00:09:43you went overnight that was when you were too young for this sort of thing it's artistic mother
00:09:50like your tut and carmen butter dish
00:09:53what got it got what you now ask if i never want to see you again i say i do you then stop crying
00:10:12quick as a flash and say something like how about sunday half seven outside central library
00:10:17no i don't tomorrow half seven outside central library then when i say okay does your zip
00:10:25miraculously undo it does not i thought it did not till you've unfastened the press stud
00:10:36i can see her doing your ironing and cooking and cleaning you wouldn't need to book for the
00:10:40christmas pantomime i don't intend to marry her mother in case it interferes with my career
00:10:46we're just good friends good night
00:11:02miss bardo
00:11:06marry me
00:11:06you know what they say once you've had a manchester lad you never touch anything else
00:11:29about time and all hi hi hi peace man
00:11:36did you have a good time last night great did you
00:11:39satisfied i stayed in for a change did you get much did you
00:11:52did you know that raping princess anne was a capital offense
00:11:55not that i have done played him for a change instead
00:12:06k
00:12:18ticket i ain't got my ticket we're late already see behind the goal then
00:12:28it
00:12:32You are dead! You are dead!
00:12:36You are dead!
00:12:41Well, tonight's beauty sleep's done nothing for her, snooty old bag.
00:12:50Trendy. Crimson shoes with bottle green socks.
00:12:54Must be going steady with a set of traffic lights.
00:12:58Still, who else would have him?
00:13:00Anyway, they're all the same in the dark, rumour has it.
00:13:11Different girl every night. It's all the type.
00:13:15Probably an omen seeing her before the match.
00:13:18Bet we lose 3-1.
00:13:21Well, I'm certainly not making the first move. At least I've got me proud.
00:13:26Oh, hello.
00:13:28Oh, hi.
00:13:29Hi.
00:13:30Didn't see you.
00:13:31No, Normie.
00:13:34Are you going that way?
00:13:35Yeah. Not especially, no.
00:13:38Are you going that?
00:13:40Yeah, well...
00:13:42No. I was sort of...
00:13:44Going to the football match?
00:13:46Are you?
00:13:47Nothing.
00:13:54I'm probably going to the pictures tonight.
00:13:55I am.
00:13:56Which?
00:13:57Which are you?
00:13:58Any?
00:13:59I am.
00:14:00No.
00:14:01No.
00:14:06See you then.
00:14:08Tonight?
00:14:09Pardon?
00:14:10Oh, I...
00:14:11All right then.
00:14:13Right.
00:14:20Super socks.
00:14:21Did you see that?
00:14:22They're all on drugs.
00:14:23The lot of them.
00:14:24Did you see that?
00:14:25They're all on drugs.
00:14:26The lot of them.
00:14:27They're all on drugs.
00:14:28The lot of them.
00:14:46Did he score?
00:14:47Losing.
00:14:48Three-one.
00:14:49Excuse me.
00:15:17Excuse me.
00:15:18They only go to restaurants with deaf waiters.
00:15:25Ah.
00:15:29Hi.
00:15:31Hello, mate.
00:15:32Oh, um...
00:15:33Peace man.
00:15:34Surprise, surprise.
00:15:35Surprise.
00:15:36Been anywhere controversial?
00:15:37Pictures.
00:15:38The boyfriend.
00:15:40She's slim.
00:15:41I'm just going to the, um...
00:15:42Oh, I'll come with you.
00:15:43I'll come with you.
00:15:46Are you and Beryl, um...
00:15:48You know.
00:15:52You know.
00:15:53Oh.
00:15:54What do you, uh...
00:15:55What do you, uh...
00:15:56What do you sort of reckon?
00:15:57She's a...
00:15:58Fair sort of bird.
00:15:59Sorry, sorry.
00:16:00She's all right.
00:16:01I'm sorry.
00:16:02She's all right.
00:16:03I mean, nothing sensational, obviously.
00:16:04Geoffrey.
00:16:05She's a bird.
00:16:06You having a coffee with us?
00:16:07No thanks, kid.
00:16:08Neville's ravenous.
00:16:09You've just eaten.
00:16:10Oh, of course, yeah.
00:16:11Sorry.
00:16:12I'm sorry.
00:16:13I'm sorry.
00:16:14I'm sorry.
00:16:15She's all right.
00:16:16I mean, nothing sensational, obviously.
00:16:18Geoffrey.
00:16:19She's a bird.
00:16:24You having a coffee with us?
00:16:25No thanks, kid.
00:16:26Neville's ravenous.
00:16:28You've just eaten.
00:16:31Oh, of course.
00:16:32Yeah.
00:16:33Sorry.
00:16:36You see...
00:16:37What I think Ken was always trying to do...
00:16:39By implication.
00:16:40Probably by implication.
00:16:42It was to allow the images to provoke a moral response from our own aesthetic judgment.
00:16:47You see?
00:16:48Yes.
00:16:51Was he the errand boy?
00:16:52Was who the errand boy?
00:16:53Ken Thingy.
00:16:55He directed it.
00:16:57Oh, yes.
00:17:00I was probably thinking of Andy Warhol.
00:17:02Probably.
00:17:08You're not like other boys at all, are you?
00:17:11Well, I'm probably a little more mature, that's all.
00:17:14It's over 200 yards from the cinema.
00:17:16And you talk to me the whole way, like a person.
00:17:22Other boys seem to have one-track minds these days.
00:17:25Sex?
00:17:26Marriage.
00:17:28Pardon?
00:17:29The number of boys that asked me to marry them.
00:17:32A couple of dates and pal they want to get married.
00:17:35I want to live a bit before I get married.
00:17:37I suppose I just don't have a hang-up about it.
00:17:41Get married?
00:17:42Hmm.
00:17:44No.
00:17:48Actually, I find girls, most girls, that is, a bit obsessed these days.
00:17:55Not marriage.
00:17:57No.
00:17:58Sex.
00:18:00Percy Filth?
00:18:03Sex.
00:18:04That's what I said.
00:18:06Oh.
00:18:08Well, I'm not like that.
00:18:10Not Percy Filth motivated?
00:18:12No.
00:18:14No.
00:18:25Did you want to say any more about Andy Warhol?
00:18:29Ken Russell?
00:18:30Yeah.
00:18:31No.
00:18:38This is it.
00:18:39I won't come in, with it being our first date.
00:18:55No.
00:18:56Oh.
00:18:57Anywhere my mum's gone to bed, we'd be on our own.
00:19:00Is that a reason for me not coming in, though?
00:19:02Yes, Geoffrey.
00:19:04Oh.
00:19:09Nice house.
00:19:1725-year mortgage.
00:19:23Well, thanks for seeing me home.
00:19:27Funny, isn't it?
00:19:29First date with someone.
00:19:31It always leads to one of three things.
00:19:35Either nothing,
00:19:37or something,
00:19:40or everything.
00:19:43Well, don't think about Percy Filth at this stage, Beryl.
00:19:46You're not.
00:19:49No, I'm not.
00:19:52Night-night. God bless.
00:19:53I won't give you my phone number in case you think I'm one of those scheming females.
00:20:09What is it?
00:20:10327-4421.
00:20:12The easy way to remember it is the three and the two make five, which is two less than seven,
00:20:16then two fours, and half of four, which is two, and half of two, which is one.
00:20:20But you mustn't ring me if you don't want.
00:20:22No.
00:20:23But you can if you do.
00:20:25Do you want me to?
00:20:26Not if you'd rather not.
00:20:28327-4421.
00:20:30Night.
00:20:49Well, hello, Mrs. Battersby. Beryl's brought you up a cup of tea.
00:21:04Oh, they all have a past life flash before me then.
00:21:10Can't be Mother's Day. You'd have forgotten.
00:21:14Has there been any clips?
00:21:17Mum, I want the benefit of your experience.
00:21:22What do you think of Andy Warhol?
00:21:24You see, Geoffrey has this theory that by implication...
00:21:27Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:28Of course, Geoffrey knows about these things.
00:21:31These things.
00:21:33Everything.
00:21:34Who's Geoffrey?
00:21:35He's fantastically intelligent.
00:21:37See, Geoffrey's idea...
00:21:39Beryl, who's Geoffrey?
00:21:42Oh, no one.
00:21:48No one's special.
00:21:53His name's Geoffrey.
00:21:54Oh, Geoffrey.
00:21:59How did this Beryl Bird turn out last night, then?
00:22:02What Beryl Bird?
00:22:03I told him.
00:22:05Did she, er...
00:22:07Did she, er...
00:22:09What?
00:22:12Wow!
00:22:15She doesn't, then.
00:22:17You don't listen, do you?
00:22:18I said...
00:22:19How about Sandra?
00:22:25Chips.
00:22:27Chips.
00:22:28Chips.
00:22:29Sod.
00:22:34Not seeing him tonight, then.
00:22:40Who?
00:22:45I've rather better things to do, thank you.
00:22:47Said he was no one special.
00:22:49Have they got a phone here?
00:22:51Why?
00:22:53They haven't, have they?
00:22:55Do you want to get some nookie lined up or something?
00:22:57If I did, do you think I'd be playing darts with you two?
00:22:59Look, are you fed up here?
00:23:01Are you?
00:23:03We'll split after this game.
00:23:04Anything you say.
00:23:05You can go for a few of the King's Head.
00:23:06Great.
00:23:08And that ends our probe.
00:23:10Well, Monday tomorrow.
00:23:12Hallelujah.
00:23:13Pardon?
00:23:15I don't know what you're paying for that phone, but whatever it is, you're being done.
00:23:19Good night.
00:23:21Good night.
00:23:22Well, Monday tomorrow. Hallelujah. Pardon?
00:23:27I don't know what you're paying for that phone, but whatever it is, you're being done. Good night.
00:23:52Good morning. Good morning.
00:24:10Charlton for Pope. Long may you reign. Amen.
00:24:14What's going on? Pounds up again.
00:24:18Oh, God.
00:24:20Today's special. Bloody travellers, Jax.
00:24:23Yeah. Suddenly everyone's going on holiday.
00:24:26So does.
00:24:28Enjoy yourself while you're young.
00:24:31Why do we always do that?
00:24:4893 times a day.
00:24:50We never see anything.
00:24:52No.
00:24:53No.
00:24:54No.
00:24:55No.
00:24:56No.
00:24:57No.
00:24:58No.
00:24:59No.
00:25:00No.
00:25:01No.
00:25:02No.
00:25:03No.
00:25:04No.
00:25:05No.
00:25:06No.
00:25:07No.
00:25:08No.
00:25:09No.
00:25:10No.
00:25:11No.
00:25:12No.
00:25:13No.
00:25:14No.
00:25:15No.
00:25:16No.
00:25:17No.
00:25:18No.
00:25:19No.
00:25:20No.
00:25:21No.
00:25:22No.
00:25:23No.
00:25:24No.
00:25:25No.
00:25:26No.
00:25:27No.
00:25:28No.
00:25:29No.
00:25:30No.
00:25:31No.
00:25:32No.
00:25:33No.
00:25:34No.
00:25:35No.
00:25:36No.
00:25:37No.
00:25:38No.
00:25:39No.
00:25:40No.
00:25:41No.
00:25:42No.
00:25:43No.
00:25:44No.
00:25:45No.
00:25:46No.
00:25:47No.
00:25:48No.
00:25:49Actually, I'm slightly off the male gender at the moment.
00:26:01Five. Five, which is... which is...
00:26:05Three and two is five, which is two less than seven.
00:26:09Which is...
00:26:13I see the Spanish police are throwing your lot out of Ibiza.
00:26:17Bank clerks. Your lot.
00:26:20Football supporters. Hippies.
00:26:23Oh. My lot.
00:26:27At the third stroke, it will be 7.22 and 40 seconds.
00:26:36It will be 7.22 and 50 seconds.
00:26:40That's it then. Fate.
00:26:43All over by 7.23 precisely.
00:26:47So what?
00:26:50Plenty more where she came from.
00:26:52PHONE RINGS
00:26:55Is that the speaking clock?
00:26:57Is that Geoffrey?
00:26:58Is that Beryl?
00:27:00Yes.
00:27:01Yes.
00:27:02Hi.
00:27:03Hi.
00:27:04It's terrifically exciting, isn't it? Getting to know a person.
00:27:18Fantastic.
00:27:19I want to know all about you.
00:27:20That's what it's all about.
00:27:21For example, with things in common already.
00:27:23Definitely.
00:27:24Like what?
00:27:25We're enormously fond of animals.
00:27:26Right.
00:27:27Right.
00:27:28And we're both from Manchester.
00:27:30And we're both from Manchester.
00:27:32Have you ever been abroad?
00:27:33No.
00:27:34No.
00:27:36Have you?
00:27:37Have you?
00:27:38No.
00:27:39Have you?
00:27:40No.
00:27:41Unless you count Istanbul.
00:27:42Istanbul?
00:27:43Istanbul?
00:27:44Istanbul?
00:27:45Was it beyond belief?
00:27:46No.
00:27:47No.
00:27:48Have you?
00:27:49No.
00:27:50Unless you count Istanbul.
00:27:51Istanbul?
00:27:52Was it beyond belief?
00:27:53I don't know.
00:27:54I don't know.
00:27:55I was only three.
00:27:56Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:27:57No.
00:27:58Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:27:59No.
00:28:00Right.
00:28:01And we're both from Manchester.
00:28:02Have you ever been abroad?
00:28:03No.
00:28:04Have you?
00:28:05No.
00:28:06Unless you count Istanbul.
00:28:07Istanbul?
00:28:08Was it beyond belief?
00:28:09I don't know.
00:28:10I was only three.
00:28:11Do you ever get the feeling you've been somewhere before?
00:28:21Sometimes.
00:28:22I do.
00:28:23What?
00:28:24Now?
00:28:25No.
00:28:26Just...
00:28:27Just sometimes.
00:28:28Yes, I do.
00:28:29Such a lot, isn't there?
00:28:30In getting to know others.
00:28:31Hmm.
00:28:32He was live and easy.
00:28:34I know.
00:28:35I know.
00:28:36I know.
00:28:37I know.
00:28:38I know.
00:28:39I know.
00:28:40I know.
00:28:41I know.
00:28:42I know.
00:28:43I know.
00:28:44I know.
00:28:45I know.
00:28:46I know.
00:28:47I know.
00:28:48I know.
00:28:49He was live and easy-limbed.
00:28:52His stride quietly casual.
00:28:54His eyes clear and confident.
00:28:57And his strong mouth ready to break into a relaxed, assured, lopsided grin.
00:29:03You know, Geoffrey?
00:29:04You have a really lopsided grin.
00:29:06Really?
00:29:07You know, lopsided.
00:29:08I don't think I have.
00:29:09It's in the eye of the beholder.
00:29:10See?
00:29:11Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot.
00:29:13He holds it down with his little finger.
00:29:14It must be marvellous, being a man.
00:29:16It's OK, I suppose.
00:29:17Men can do anything.
00:29:18Conquer Everest.
00:29:19Do heart transplants.
00:29:20Become leader of the opposition.
00:29:21I don't think I have.
00:29:22I don't think I have.
00:29:23It's in the eye of the beholder.
00:29:24It's in the eye of the beholder.
00:29:25See?
00:29:26Geoffrey doesn't need someone else when he's tying a knot.
00:29:27He holds it down with his little finger.
00:29:28It must be marvellous, being a man.
00:29:30It's OK, I suppose.
00:29:31Men can do anything.
00:29:33Conquer Everest.
00:29:34Do heart transplants.
00:29:35Become leader of the opposition.
00:29:37Anything.
00:29:42Geoffrey, no spells no.
00:29:44Good for your circulation, Beryl.
00:29:47Read any women's magazine, it's good for theirs, it's all right.
00:29:49What?
00:29:50What?
00:29:51Geoffrey, N-O spells no.
00:29:55It's good for your circulation, Beryl.
00:29:58Read any women's magazine. It's good for theirs too.
00:30:01I'm not sure they recommend Percy Filth on Tuesdays.
00:30:04I only see you on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
00:30:07All Saturdays.
00:30:09Beryl.
00:30:14Beryl.
00:30:16Oh, Geoffrey Bobble's bonbon.
00:30:18Oh, Beryl.
00:30:19Oh, Beryl.
00:30:21Oh, Beryl.
00:30:22Are you all right? What exactly happened? Don't tell me.
00:30:25I just had a sharp achak of dramatic irony.
00:30:28Pardon?
00:30:34Come back. They're better. It's better. I'm OK.
00:30:41I told you, it's going to pour.
00:30:43It's not.
00:30:45It's only the angels crying.
00:30:54I know how they feel.
00:30:57Well, don't blame me. I haven't done anything.
00:31:00That's true.
00:31:02That's not true, Beryl. I have apologised.
00:31:05I keep going down on me knees when I'm talking to you.
00:31:08Independent observers think I'm training to be a Cossack dancer.
00:31:11It must be a bad line. I can't hear you.
00:31:14You'd better apologise again.
00:31:17I apologise again.
00:31:20Gosh, this lousy line.
00:31:22I wonder if Geoffrey would like to come to tea on Sunday.
00:31:28Pardon?
00:31:29Pardon?
00:31:31Is that who I think it is?
00:31:33No, dear.
00:31:35Well, isn't this nice?
00:31:51Sardine sandwich.
00:31:52Is it all sardine?
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:55She's got her own trawler.
00:31:57Isn't it awful?
00:31:58What?
00:31:59I was speaking to Geoffrey.
00:32:00What's happening in the world?
00:32:01I blame the politicians.
00:32:02What for?
00:32:03For what's happening in the world.
00:32:04Talk to her.
00:32:05I can't speak Portuguese.
00:32:06Tasty.
00:32:07They're in oil.
00:32:08They're in oil.
00:32:09She's got a bad leg.
00:32:11The bread's extremely wholesome.
00:32:14I have this little baker down the road.
00:32:17He does something with the bleach.
00:32:19What?
00:32:20What's happening in the world?
00:32:21What's happening in the world?
00:32:22I blame the politicians.
00:32:23What for?
00:32:24For what's happening in the world.
00:32:25Talk to her.
00:32:26I can't speak Portuguese.
00:32:27Tasty.
00:32:28Very in oil.
00:32:29Very nice in oil.
00:32:30She's got a bad leg.
00:32:32The bread's extremely wholesome.
00:32:33I have this little baker down the road.
00:32:35He does something with the bleach.
00:32:37I can't do long conversations about sardines so much as your mind goes blank.
00:32:51Start thinking about life after death.
00:33:00Oh, that Neville, honestly.
00:33:03Number of hearts he must have broken. Every girl in Manchester nearly.
00:33:09Geoffrey definitely has. Probably even more.
00:33:13Air hostesses. All sorts.
00:33:18Tell me about your terrible past, Geoffrey.
00:33:20I haven't had one yet.
00:33:22White man speak with forked tongue.
00:33:25Actually, I was hoping more for a terrible future.
00:33:33Wow, is that the time, at this moment in time?
00:33:36What have I done?
00:33:38Is Neville the insanely jealous type?
00:33:40Quite in the slightest.
00:33:42You're lucky.
00:33:43Why, it's Geoffrey.
00:33:45Wow.
00:33:47You're not jealous of all my ex-flames, are you?
00:33:50Course not. Why should I be?
00:33:52Please stop interrogating me, Geoffrey. Forget it.
00:33:56That's all in the past.
00:33:59Then, nothing to be jealous about.
00:34:03Who needs drama?
00:34:06So I shouted back at her.
00:34:08No shop assistant shouts at me, I shouted.
00:34:10In the end, Neville nearly bolted me for swearing.
00:34:13He thumped you?
00:34:15Walloped you on?
00:34:17No.
00:34:18I said nearly.
00:34:20You never thumped me, will you?
00:34:24Like Neville does Sandra.
00:34:26She adores it.
00:34:28Course not.
00:34:29No.
00:34:31Geoffrey, Percy Filth isn't the only thing in life.
00:34:36It isn't even one of the things in mine.
00:34:38You used to talk to me.
00:34:39All right, let's talk.
00:34:41Geoffrey, I've just had the most super idea.
00:34:46Why? Is your mum going out?
00:34:52May as well pack in, really.
00:34:56Why?
00:34:58Why not?
00:35:02Good thinking.
00:35:09Thanks for a stimulating few weeks.
00:35:11You too. It was real.
00:35:13It's psychedelic.
00:35:15You can keep me grateful dead, LP.
00:35:17I was scratched anyway.
00:35:19It's been a gasp.
00:35:21Groovy.
00:35:24I won't wave from the window.
00:35:25No, I won't look back anyway.
00:35:27Good.
00:35:28It's been a gasp.
00:35:29You've said that once.
00:35:31You're well red-barred.
00:35:32There's plenty more fish in the sea.
00:35:46About three very lonely sardines.
00:35:50Mother, please don't try raising one eyebrow at me.
00:35:53You know you can't do it.
00:36:00You'll never thump me, will you, Geoffrey?
00:36:02Ow!
00:36:04Beryl, I've just had the most super idea.
00:36:07Are we going to put it up?
00:36:08No.
00:36:09We're going to pack it in.
00:36:10Don't say that.
00:36:11Please don't say that.
00:36:12That.
00:36:15Sandra.
00:36:16Sandra.
00:36:18You're Sandra.
00:36:19Mine.
00:36:23Two months.
00:36:24Two months, nine days.
00:36:28Is she positive?
00:36:29The test was.
00:36:31What are you going to do?
00:36:33She'll think of something.
00:36:35Sandra, it's stupendous.
00:36:39Congratulations.
00:36:40I hope you'll both be very happy.
00:36:42Oh, thanks, kid.
00:36:44Sandra, I don't know how you do it.
00:36:48Often.
00:37:02Lots of ladies.
00:37:04One night.
00:37:05Two, three, four.
00:37:06Two, three, four.
00:37:07Two minutes.
00:37:08Godízis.
00:37:10Three, four, seven, eight.
00:37:12Firmish.
00:37:13One, two.
00:37:15One, two, three.
00:37:17Two, three.
00:37:19Four, three, four.
00:37:20Four, six, five.
00:37:22Seven, six, one, eight.
00:37:23Two, five.
00:37:25Two, seven, six.
00:37:27Five, four, seven.
00:37:28Two, six, seven, eight.
00:37:30One, two, six.
00:37:32John for Pope. Long may reign.
00:37:50Aren't you, uh...
00:37:52Yeah.
00:37:55And you're, uh...
00:37:56That's right.
00:37:58Going somewhere incredible.
00:38:00I'm meeting me parents.
00:38:02Taking them to see Fiddler on the roof.
00:38:04That's pretty incredible.
00:38:06Your mummy and daddy.
00:38:08Uh...
00:38:10Oh, hell no, that's tomorrow.
00:38:13If I'm in the mood.
00:38:16Where you are.
00:38:18Depends where you take me.
00:38:20All I was saying about your friend with the glasses...
00:38:33Roland.
00:38:34Roland.
00:38:35Is that I found him intellectually unaware and psychologically incredibly boring.
00:38:39It's not bad at snooker.
00:38:40And how are you and little Beryl?
00:38:46Didn't she tell you?
00:38:47I don't work there anymore.
00:38:50I packed her in.
00:38:50Did she turn you off?
00:39:01Beryl?
00:39:02Yeah.
00:39:06I haven't really looked.
00:39:09Seen one, you've seen them all.
00:39:11Not quite all.
00:39:15I'll go and get me coat.
00:39:23Must be my birthday.
00:39:24Boys aren't the only thing in life, Beryl.
00:39:31I do wish you'd find one.
00:39:34They aren't all after Percy, Philse.
00:39:40Yes, they are.
00:39:42Mmm.
00:39:44Oh, you were terrific, on the bus.
00:39:46Wasn't it?
00:39:48Mmm.
00:39:50Terrific self-control.
00:39:53Joan of Arc never married, yet she led a full and happy life.
00:39:57Or am I thinking of someone else?
00:39:59Mother, I don't happen to be interested in boys.
00:40:01I happen to be interested in having early nights
00:40:04and writing poetry in bed with me Moe Felt-tip pen.
00:40:06It's run out of ink.
00:40:07I used it for me laundry list.
00:40:10My God, your generation's got a few things to answer for.
00:40:13Mmm.
00:40:15Mmm.
00:40:15Mmm, please.
00:40:16Mmm, don't.
00:40:18Please.
00:40:19You can't ravish a girl on her own doorstep.
00:40:23Well, let's go inside, then.
00:40:26Smooth-talking bastard.
00:40:31It is me birthday.
00:40:37What about the boy with the freckles from Shakespeare Crescent?
00:40:40I don't believe that question.
00:40:42You used to be crazy about him.
00:40:45I was 11 years old.
00:40:47He used to let me chalk on his tortoise.
00:40:49Me, woman.
00:40:57You used to let me do it forth.
00:41:06You used to help her out, so I did not lie.
00:41:07I did not lie but at this time.
00:41:12what's your name again what's yours rock that's not your real name no Stephen
00:41:27when I first met you in the street I thought just a quiet drink and a chat shows you the art of
00:41:44conversation ain't dead don't move a muscle however gorgeous
00:41:57testing testing Jeffrey Milleup returns to the day I wish you everything you've ever wished yourself
00:42:27I'm fed up who are you who are you what you fed up about teachers don't have to do homework
00:42:53no they just mark it anyone can mark it they've got the answers
00:43:00do you know it's after two o'clock what's he doing here then
00:43:09well this is your uncle Stephen this is my revolting brother Jeremy
00:43:19how do you do don't my mum and dad know he's here Jeremy bed I could always wake him up and tell him
00:43:28Jeremy little boys need sleep
00:43:33even big astronauts do you know where babies come from
00:43:39do you say no no I do say yes shall I tell you he knows the man has this male organ and some blood
00:43:51cells and erectile glands and there's these 500 million spermatozoas in these testes that he has
00:43:57well and they go through his male organ into the female uterus that the lady has
00:44:02who told you that then they go to the fallopian tubes after that one of them fertilizes with the
00:44:08female egg the others don't bother anyway that's what you have to do then you have a baby
00:44:15did they teach you that at school they do woodwork in the next class
00:44:20people can only make babies at certain times of the year but animals like dogs and cats and giraffes I think
00:44:28do it all the time
00:44:29no that's people
00:44:34what is
00:44:36well people do it all the time
00:44:41whenever they feel like it
00:44:46in the next class you can do metal work if you don't like woodwork
00:44:53good night Jeremy
00:44:5625p
00:44:5850
00:45:0050
00:45:0250
00:45:03good night uncle Stephen
00:45:13in the morning a friend of Jeremy's he's going now
00:45:41good night love
00:45:44good night love
00:45:48we would have done that wouldn't we
00:45:49and how
00:45:50you can't win them all can you
00:45:55anyway do you good going without for a change
00:45:58still there's always another day
00:46:05tomorrow
00:46:07tomorrow's another day
00:46:09shh
00:46:11not unless you happen to be in Plymouth
00:46:13where
00:46:15I'm joining the wrens for three years
00:46:17what wrens?
00:46:19the Royal Navy's wrens
00:46:20what wrens?
00:46:21the Royal Navy's wrens
00:46:26this time tomorrow I'll be in barracks with about 50 other girls and 30,000 sailors
00:46:30hope I like it
00:46:32well thanks for nearly everything
00:46:39we definitely would have done wouldn't we
00:46:42well obviously
00:46:43well we
00:46:44we're as good as dead in a way really
00:46:46almost
00:46:47just keep telling yourself and we will have
00:46:50only better
00:46:51good night love
00:46:53try a barrel
00:47:16morning previous generation
00:47:18what's for breakfast?
00:47:31you knew it was your mother's birthday
00:47:33now what we'd like to know
00:47:34is where were you while we were fiddling on the flaming roof
00:47:37I'm sorry mum
00:47:38I'll take you out another night something cropped up
00:47:41like what?
00:47:43dad
00:47:44you understand
00:47:45I don't Geoffrey
00:47:48well you always say you do
00:47:50Geoffrey you're at it every night
00:47:53yes dad
00:47:54and we don't complain
00:47:55no dad
00:47:56but last night was different
00:47:58I knew you'd understand
00:48:13then
00:48:14tell me
00:48:15what's going on?
00:48:28the pound's down again
00:48:30up and down like a pair of knickers
00:48:31you should know
00:48:32or me
00:48:33you know what me?
00:48:35open down like a pair of knickers you should know or me know me what a night
00:48:48a lot including action replays in slow motion
00:48:57hey lads i picked up a bit of spare last night who didn't no it's true
00:49:01yes jeffrey it is yes jeffrey
00:49:12bloody is
00:49:16poor jeffrey beryl please it's neville's engagement party as well he had to invite him
00:49:22he'll see me it's cruel see other girls i shan't take him back sandra
00:49:29i shan't it's been two weeks he may have got over you by now
00:49:36don't know much about men do you love
00:49:50it was doing him a kindness really finally splitting up he only had one ambition in life
00:50:09send my knickers to oxfam
00:50:16good job she hasn't joined the rent the entire navy had gone strike
00:50:20i expect he's sorry now i won't even consider taking him back if he isn't
00:50:26she might have changed of course if she has i might let her have the old orgy nine again
00:50:33he's got to accept we've finally split up otherwise i definitely won't take him back
00:50:42well i'm certainly not making the first move
00:50:44he's still got me pride i left with beryl baby oh hi didn't see you no nor me
00:50:54and how's manchester city doing without me cheering them on then united we're winning every game now
00:50:59oh good and what's new with jeffrey then
00:51:10i asked you what was new
00:51:16did you did i say more
00:51:18how's beryl baby getting on then jeffrey i'm not all that ecstatic about you calling me beryl baby
00:51:28it isn't like you say that again beryl baby
00:51:33what's your name handsome
00:51:36you'll laugh everybody laughs it's the story of my life you tell it like it is chuck
00:51:48she used to put them on an axe
00:51:53what do you care
00:51:56i don't have a baby
00:52:02is she going to get into bed with him now
00:52:07probably
00:52:10jeffrey always looks half asleep these days well it's very exhausting
00:52:15it is
00:52:19working in a bank
00:52:26i had this bad scene this chick and decided to split
00:52:33so i cut out man like there's no tomorrow
00:52:39this cat gets it together where he's at
00:52:41man
00:52:44lots of beautiful bag baby
00:52:47so if you want a piece of the action
00:52:50don't cool it
00:52:53dig
00:52:58sorry i no understand english
00:53:06gesundheit
00:53:07i thought she'd only just been to bed with the other one
00:53:13she has
00:53:15and which is her husband
00:53:17neither
00:53:22it's warming up isn't it
00:53:31great beat isn't it
00:53:34great to dance to
00:53:37do you agree that life's an onion
00:53:44if so what's death
00:53:47um
00:53:50a banana
00:53:52yes i expect it is when you think about it
00:53:56have you read schopenhauer's concept of existence
00:54:00um
00:54:02no
00:54:02but i've seen the film
00:54:05you're married
00:54:08no
00:54:08grab yourself an adage
00:54:11marriage is a cabbage
00:54:14are you a poet
00:54:16never ask the questions ask the answers
00:54:19you are a poet
00:54:22to any manager marks and spencers
00:54:24yes
00:54:26what's that
00:54:28i'm really dirt
00:54:29you
00:54:29now he's taking his clothes off
00:54:34what's on itv
00:54:35this
00:54:37what's on BBC
00:54:39Casinova
00:54:43what's that like
00:54:46this
00:54:47oh come on now
00:54:50you know that's not where it's at
00:54:52let's get this
00:54:53what's the word
00:54:54let's get it clear
00:54:57let's get down to the real nitty grittiesville
00:54:59okay
00:55:00women's lip is not about
00:55:11burning brass
00:55:13papers yeah
00:55:14what papers
00:55:16a marriage certificate
00:55:18a dog's license
00:55:19whatever you prefer to call it
00:55:20look let's be basic about this Enid
00:55:23all girls want marriage and a wide wedding
00:55:25really basic
00:55:27you want to be really basic
00:55:29utterly basic
00:55:30balls
00:55:31grass
00:55:33Enid
00:55:35when Sandra says every girl
00:55:38she means most girls
00:55:39well like herself
00:55:40not me of course
00:55:41because I incredibly value my independence
00:55:43but most girls definitely want
00:55:46balls
00:55:46if you can't conduct an intelligent conversation
00:55:50without recourse to
00:55:51I'm not recourseing to anything
00:55:52I'm merely telling you what girls want
00:55:54what
00:55:55balls
00:55:56would you please stop saying that
00:55:59you believe in free love right
00:56:01wrong
00:56:02I believe in free everything
00:56:04freedom from all male chauvinist pig domination
00:56:07honestly don't you understand
00:56:09excuse me you've got your hand on me
00:56:10no
00:56:12excuse me excuse me you've got your hand on me
00:56:15no
00:56:16oh
00:56:16oh sorry
00:56:18wow man sorry
00:56:20it's all right
00:56:20oh gee
00:56:21it's a pleasure
00:56:22grass
00:56:23jeffrey you've not to
00:56:25why not
00:56:26I said don't you not to smoke it
00:56:28we're as liberated as you Enid
00:56:42we've equal importance as individuals
00:56:44neither of us is boss
00:56:46just doesn't arise
00:56:47we'll make some coffee
00:56:49you see
00:56:51what we believe
00:56:52now
00:56:52you see
00:56:56wow one
00:56:57I can see there's only one way to get through
00:57:02what you doing
00:57:06lighting everybody's fire
00:57:08burn my bra
00:57:12right
00:57:17that's it
00:57:18finished
00:57:19the end
00:57:20full stop
00:57:21we've finally split up
00:57:24Neville
00:57:24Sandra wants you
00:57:26I should imagine
00:57:27sad isn't it
00:57:30pathetic
00:57:34well I can't follow plays these days
00:57:40it's just showing real life that's all
00:57:43I once thought I'd found her
00:57:50the perfect girl
00:57:52red hair
00:57:54not too skinny
00:57:56very gentle and shy
00:57:59passionate when roused
00:58:03she packed me in for picking my teeth with a matchstick
00:58:08you're very sweet Roland
00:58:10I've always thought you were
00:58:14did you know you're very nearly have a lopsided grin
00:58:19it's just I'm a bit tired
00:58:22no it's nice
00:58:23I don't think I've washed that one
00:58:49oh
00:58:50sorry
00:58:50do you know
00:58:55what girl
00:58:56you can ask me anything
00:58:57do you know where Jeffrey's got to
00:59:01he's upstairs I think
00:59:05is it true they're dry on their own
00:59:13usually
00:59:16usually
00:59:16I hate to be any trouble
00:59:23but I think I'm dying
00:59:25you'll be alright
00:59:26honest
00:59:26she said I shouldn't smoke it
00:59:29who
00:59:30she said
00:59:31Jeffrey
00:59:35Jeffrey
00:59:38Jeffrey
00:59:39move up a bit Jeffrey
00:59:58put your legs
01:00:00that's better
01:00:02it's because it's your first time isn't it
01:00:08call Dr. Wiseberg
01:00:15Quilmslow Road
01:00:17it wasn't marijuana you know
01:00:23what was it then
01:00:27grass
01:00:28grass is marijuana
01:00:31this grass wasn't
01:00:34it was the real thing
01:00:37from the front lawn
01:00:39from the front lawn
01:00:40like you Beryl
01:00:50had a nice time
01:00:56even though it's three o'clock in the morning
01:00:59not that I mind
01:01:01if you've had a nice time
01:01:03even though I've been in bed since ten
01:01:05having a good night's worry
01:01:06did you see Jeffrey
01:01:09that's good
01:01:13do you ever get the feeling you're trying too hard
01:01:35I didn't try at all
01:01:38gave it to rest
01:01:40I'm right off birds
01:01:45I am
01:01:47I am
01:01:48for good
01:01:50me too
01:01:52and me
01:01:54good morning
01:02:14your mother would like to know if you have a reservation at this hotel
01:02:17can I
01:02:18go
01:02:22go
01:02:27go
01:02:27go
01:02:31go
01:02:36go
01:02:38go
01:02:38go
01:02:39go
01:02:44go
01:02:46A barrel, a barrel.
01:03:16Geoffrey, can I rip your trousers off and have my way with you?
01:03:24Oh, Beryl.
01:03:27Oh, Geoffrey.
01:03:30Oh, God.
01:03:42Hello.
01:03:44Will you be required in the room again, sir?
01:03:48Because we're thinking of taking bookings for the next pop festival.
01:03:52You're a bugger.
01:03:54I don't know who he takes after.
01:04:03Hello?
01:04:05It's me.
01:04:06Who?
01:04:07My God, that's symbolic.
01:04:09Oh, hello, Beryl.
01:04:11I'm just ringing to tell you I never want to see you again.
01:04:13If you have a phone or call, please don't,
01:04:15because I shan't be in tonight or any other night.
01:04:17Anyway, tonight I'm helping me mum at the school jumble sale.
01:04:21Good.
01:04:24A small world.
01:04:27Thank you, Frank.
01:04:31Oh, thank you.
01:04:35a small world
01:04:49good evening mrs battersby i was looking for a nice lampshade oh
01:04:57probably this one definitely magic in satin oh certainly jeffrey
01:05:04who's here in his nice crimson shoes
01:05:11you'd like some nice fancy random paper wouldn't you
01:05:17i'm a child of the universe beryl i have a right to be here i'm afraid we don't
01:05:21sell marijuana on sundays try the co-op
01:05:23beryl listen if you can smell burning it's just that the vicar's been around
01:05:25burning his jock strap beryl listen have you got that in another
01:05:29color no madam i'll leave it then
01:05:34listen to what for heaven's sake
01:05:43don't matter what doesn't you wouldn't anyway wouldn't what
01:05:49go to the match with me on saturday me
01:05:53a football match with 40 000 skinheads and you told you
01:06:00who are they playing
01:06:02what does feel town in the car i've always wanted to watch
01:06:11uddersfield town
01:06:17the fourth from the bottom
01:06:19shows you away from home they've won three drawn five and lost 12
01:06:28drawn five
01:06:34so what do you think
01:06:37i think i nearly love you
01:06:49i don't recall grace kelly and time
01:06:57i don't recall grace kelly and time
01:07:03prince rania by going to watch united i may be wrong
01:07:18grace who we live in a permissive society
01:07:25read any color supplement
01:07:27mother you're supposed to be my mother
01:07:29i am love and it wasn't through going to football matches
01:07:33you are the same mother that makes me tug my skirt down every time i stand up
01:07:37even if he's only on the phone
01:07:39yes so well uh boys are very safe and i am your mother
01:07:44that's what i said
01:07:47i don't mean uh permissive permissive
01:07:52romantic
01:07:55pardon kissing cuddling things of that nature
01:08:02oh we do do what what you just said
01:08:06good not too much i hope
01:08:09oh god boys are very funny
01:08:12they're novices compared to mothers
01:08:18did i tell you that two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains
01:08:23oh
01:08:27two new people have moved into the house opposite with the green curtains
01:08:32fantastic
01:08:32the cowgills mr and mrs cowgill
01:08:41the cowgills mr and mrs cowgill married couple newlyweds not long married
01:08:47i'll tell you 28 stockbrokers have moved into the office opposite with the dirty curtains
01:09:06living in sin
01:09:08can you say one single sentence without the word marriage in it
01:09:18if i said to you do you think cassius clay would have beaten rocky marciano would you say what's it matter so long as they're happily married
01:09:23i don't think so
01:09:28i don't think so
01:09:29a barrel would
01:09:35giving you a bad time is she
01:09:35i wouldn't say that
01:09:43i haven't even mentioned the word what word
01:09:47goodness me a single person can have a relationship with another single person without
01:09:51everyone thinking she's automatically i never said you were you think it
01:10:09all right jeffrey i hereby promise never to utter the word again
01:10:15marriage never
01:10:17well until i am
01:10:21if i ever do which i fervently hope i never will
01:10:24for someone who's not uttering something when's your lp coming out
01:10:31no two people have a divine right to happiness jeffrey you mustn't feel guilty about me
01:10:38sorry
01:10:40no one can say you've completely ruined my life not yet
01:10:47you're staring at
01:10:55hello you all right son terrific
01:10:58why did you throw your sponge pudding at the cat then your mother's theory is you're overworking
01:11:04hmm my theory is you're overdoing it with some dolly bird
01:11:08oh what's your theory indigestion oh
01:11:12what's your sundance
01:11:17hasn't he said anything at all he has said one thing oh what's that if god had meant sardines to
01:11:23be in oil it had given them dipsticks all right
01:11:27the weeks and months dragged by and with neither side willing to compromise we still have deadlock
01:11:34her majesty's government have consistently tried to find a way out of this dilemma another wild night
01:11:41learning what i know spells and how many of us school pals are getting married and what no spells
01:11:46and what no spells great i might as well go bald and open my own monastery and so society that's you and me
01:11:54who says end this dispute end it now good night here good one day terrific especially when he said good night
01:12:08we're just enjoying ourselves having a good time just having fun
01:12:13be happy take two a day after meals and one if you find yourself crying your heart out again in the
01:12:21middle of a zebra crossing for no reason at all
01:12:27you're sure this has nothing to do with a boyfriend absolutely positive
01:12:33that was the first film we ever saw together
01:12:38make that three a day after meals
01:12:43a day after meals
01:12:49look beryl how's this for a peace plan
01:12:52you join a marriage bureau and i'll get a job on the stage twice nightly in denmark then we'll both
01:12:58be happy right right good jesus christ superstar amen
01:13:05oh hell hands up again see you tomorrow
01:13:08where do you think you're going
01:13:17jeffrey i'll get the sack it's important
01:13:22what is i keep asking you what is
01:13:28what is to be on our own
01:13:33what so as we can talk
01:13:35that old speech worked out on the bus this morning
01:13:48the only bit i can remember is and that's what i think
01:13:51last night i dreamt i was in gold for manchester united and grace kelly kicked nine goals past me
01:13:56grace who she was playing for united as well weird isn't it
01:14:05the main thing is
01:14:12we do communicate
01:14:14oh we do
01:14:24see what face
01:14:24see what i think
01:14:26go on
01:14:27no you mine wasn't important
01:14:30her mom wasn't
01:14:35her mom was in the house
01:14:36she was in the house
01:14:37she was in the house
01:14:38she was in the house
01:14:41beryl
01:14:45are you
01:14:48happy
01:14:48of course
01:14:51very
01:14:54i am
01:14:55no one is every second of every minute of every day
01:14:57no
01:15:03i'm not
01:15:08do you think it's because we love each other do you think
01:15:17probably
01:15:17i've not actually said the words often
01:15:19well not in so many words
01:15:23mostly in words to that effect
01:15:38is there anything you don't love about me
01:15:42no i don't think so
01:15:43honestly no
01:15:45nothing
01:15:46if there is there isn't you just tell me and i'll stop doing it
01:15:49there isn't anything
01:15:50honest
01:15:51good
01:15:54it wouldn't upset me it'd just make me a better human being to deserve your love
01:16:03like you know crimson shoes and bottle green socks
01:16:10well you don't wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks beryl
01:16:13if i did i'd stop to please you
01:16:20i see
01:16:25there's no need to be sensitive jeffrey
01:16:27in a meaningful relationship you must like even what you don't
01:16:33your mother
01:16:33pardon
01:16:34i like your mother
01:16:35please don't sulk jeffrey
01:16:37handle lampshades
01:16:37sulking isn't the most endearing quality in a person
01:16:40well you ought to know you've almost made it an art form
01:16:45anything else at random you've got 24 hours to spare
01:16:48after all i'm no bridgette bardo
01:16:51according to reliable sources in san trapez she's 105 next birthday
01:16:54over 98 of the male population of manchester and salford can tell the difference between
01:16:58bridgette bardo and beryl battersby ask any opinion poll i'm much fatter for a start
01:17:03you're not all that fat beryl i am start slimming men like something to get hold of if they're
01:17:09allowed to get hold of it you always succeed in getting back to percy filth in the end don't you
01:17:14always no i don't beryl you do i always fail do you know what some girls find extremely likable
01:17:20the extremely likable way some boys stare at every girl they see boys like it when girls tell them what
01:17:25no spells especially for the 600th time that they really dig you never say dig i did then
01:17:33your passionate unrequited love for 11 boring men kicking a ball about that's really lovable
01:17:39i never knew you thought that neither did i do now though
01:17:53used to say dig before i met you
01:17:59used to say all sorts of things
01:18:01there's a lot about me i can't even remember
01:18:19there's a lot of things
01:18:20there's a lot of things
01:18:29thinking what i'm thinking
01:18:33i think so
01:18:35we just don't like each other
01:18:38at all
01:18:49so that just leaves a cart two matinee coats two romper suits
01:19:20and what else do i need
01:19:22oh yes a ring
01:19:24teething ring
01:19:26wedding ring
01:19:27of course
01:19:29oh they have gorgeous plans in the shops these days
01:19:32no wonder everyone's at it
01:19:35oh sorry
01:19:37what about
01:19:38skip it
01:19:40about time too
01:19:42with her sympathy
01:19:43not that i need any actually i've never been as happy in me life
01:19:47but she doesn't know that
01:19:49if i'm looking miserable sandra it's because i'm feeling happy for you
01:19:54yeah
01:19:58we know what you must be thinking of course we do
01:20:01how to pop the pink without going in off
01:20:03peace
01:20:11she used to wear pink you know
01:20:13i won't tell you where
01:20:14a hell of a lot more where hers came from wow
01:20:24did you want the chalk jeffrey
01:20:26no spells no
01:20:30super day for it
01:20:32hmm sin being inside a day like this
01:20:36well sandra
01:20:37this is it
01:20:39yep
01:20:40the big day
01:20:41yep
01:20:42coming to the crotch
01:20:44crunch
01:20:45i dare say it'll hardly break my heart in the slightest seeing him again
01:20:49you mustn't think i'll be crying inside because i most definitely won't be
01:20:55and what's more no one will know that i am because i shan't truly
01:21:02sandra please you've enough to think of
01:21:04it's a big day for you as well really isn't it
01:21:16and now one of the bride and groom on their own
01:21:19do you mind stepping back sir
01:21:20is this fine enough here about there lovely you can kiss the bride on this one sir wow official
01:21:29permission to actually kiss her
01:21:34oh sorry
01:21:36that's right hold it
01:21:39lovely thank you right now a nice family group with the parents please
01:21:43funny i remember the friday lunch time they first met
01:21:47how have you been absolutely great you never better ever
01:21:58it's all over now bar the salmon salad
01:22:02it's tuna fish it's life
01:22:12see president nixon went to china then
01:22:14that was before we ever met
01:22:17i know
01:22:18why has something happened about it
01:22:21no
01:22:21oh could i trouble you for the salad cream please
01:22:27speaking personally i think there are enough problems to sort out on earth without going to the moon
01:22:33nixon
01:22:34why is he going
01:22:36no
01:22:38the astronauts
01:22:39oh
01:22:41it's the wives and sweethearts i feel sorry for
01:22:46we never really talked did we about things that matter
01:22:50good isn't it shows we're friends now that we know we don't like each other
01:22:55everybody thinks we're broken hearted
01:22:57we've really grown up haven't we
01:23:04my mother's convinced herself we split up because we had too much percy filth
01:23:07i'm right off it myself
01:23:09i've been able to walk off buses perfectly normally for the past few weeks
01:23:13oh i expect it's only temporary i hope not it's marvelous
01:23:18good i don't fancy you in the slightest now thank you love
01:23:22still off the food i noticed
01:23:32and we've learned a fantastic amount for the future
01:23:35fantastic
01:23:36for example say i finally did marry someone like you only someone i love
01:23:41i bet i'd now let him wear crimson shoes and bottle green socks every night
01:23:44in bed a bit
01:23:51and you'll probably meet some little fatty who's never even heard of kenny warhol
01:23:55and marry her three days later
01:23:59we probably won't see each other at all now we're pals
01:24:02i expect you're going to the match this afternoon oh yeah
01:24:05i'm helping sandra packer going away case
01:24:07where should you go in hospital
01:24:13well we'll bump into each other sometime
01:24:29thank you
01:24:35Oh, hello Mrs. Battersby, you won't remember me.
01:25:01Good afternoon, Geoffrey.
01:25:04Is Beryl there, please?
01:25:08She's gone to the football match.
01:25:11There is no football. It's cricket now.
01:25:14Well, it's the same thing, isn't it?
01:25:34Hi.
01:25:41When's the kick-off?
01:25:44In about three months. Football season's over now, Beryl.
01:25:48Oh, what on earth did you want to come for?
01:25:52I forgot. I'm not all that interested these days.
01:25:57Where will you go now, then?
01:26:00Don't know.
01:26:02Could always go inside and practise booing for next season.
01:26:07Where will you?
01:26:10Might go and get a new pair of tights.
01:26:12Hey, it's like the countryside, isn't it, when it's empty?
01:26:16Fancy a stroll in the country?
01:26:18May as well, if you like. Don't mind. Why not?
01:26:23Just as friends.
01:26:25Oh, I meant just as friends.
01:26:27Yeah, I did.
01:26:28Wish we had a ball.
01:26:38Could play shooting in.
01:26:42You could go in goal.
01:26:49Amazing how people change, isn't it?
01:26:58Well, we're certainly much happier without each other.
01:27:19We'll be even happier with someone else.
01:27:24Anyone, really.
01:27:27There's millions to choose from.
01:27:36All nearly exactly right for us.
01:27:40You'll find someone, Geoffrey.
01:27:43You will, Beryl.
01:27:45Just a matter of keeping your eyes open, really.
01:27:48Picking one out of the crowd.
01:27:51But if由 you came to your captain to your Ōtik, there's no honour to do.
01:27:52They made a feeling unable to defend you.
01:27:57Justice.
01:28:10Justice.
01:28:11Justice.
01:28:12Justice.
01:28:14And you'll find sometimes
01:28:33Love and rainy weather can turn out fine
01:28:38Getting wet together's fun
01:28:41When the crying's dark
01:28:47Love and rainy weather
01:28:51Are followed by the sun
01:28:57Love and rainy weather
01:29:00Love and rainy weather
01:29:05When the crying's dark
01:29:12Love and rainy weather
01:29:16Are followed by the sun
01:29:21Love and rainy weather
01:29:25Love and rainy weather
01:29:32Love and rainy weather
01:29:34Love and rainy weather
01:29:36Love and rainy weather
01:29:37Love and rainy weather
01:29:38Love and rainy weather
01:29:39Love and rainy weather
01:29:40Love and rainy weather
01:29:41Love and rainy weather
01:29:42Love and rainy weather
01:29:43Love and rainy weather
01:29:44Love and rainy weather
01:29:45Love and rainy weather
01:29:46Love and rainy weather
01:29:47Love and rainy weather
01:29:48Love and rainy weather
01:29:49Love and rainy weather
01:29:50Love and rainy weather
01:29:51Love and rainy weather
01:29:52Love and rainy weather
Recommended
1:30:50
|
Up next
1:24:28
1:25:23
1:06:34
1:33:55
1:58:07
1:32:38
36:37
41:32
49:48
1:54:08
1:07:39
1:01:20
48:53
56:30
1:29:25
45:12
1:59:57
1:31:15
1:17:34
49:56
Be the first to comment