Anime Man (parody of George Carlin's "Modern Man")

Cosplay Joe

If you wanna go straight to the skit, go here: 2:36 . But I would advise you to listen to the intro to get the full explanation.  Originally made in July 2016 (just as an FYI)

Transcript

00:00Hey everyone, CosplayJoe here.

00:02Now before I get to the actual skit itself, I just have a couple quick things I need to

00:06share with you.

00:07Uh, first of all, excuse the lighting, uh, there's a tree outside my window, it's in

00:12the morning and it just keeps, you know, swaying, you know, back and forth, like in between

00:16the lights.

00:17And the reason why I'm recording this in the morning is because I had to turn my AC off

00:21because it affects the sound quality.

00:23I don't, I just wanted to record this before it gets too hot.

00:27And speaking of sound quality, my camera is actually angled, uh, this way because, uh,

00:32it's actually on a table right now and I'm sitting down because I tried recording it from

00:37like across the room from before and saw how the sound quality came out and I was not satisfied

00:42with it.

00:43So, instead you're just gonna get like this, like you won't be able to see like all like

00:48the gestures that I make during the skit, but I hope that won't be a problem.

00:54Three, I'm not cosplaying because I'm like sitting down right now and it's in the morning

00:59and plus the cosplay won't have anything to do with the skit that I'm doing.

01:04It's this skit that you keep wondering about, well, it's called Anime Man and it's a parody

01:09of George Carlin's Modern Man, but don't worry, there won't be any profanity or anything

01:14like that.

01:15There wasn't any profanity in his original skit either.

01:17So, in case you're offended by that or concerned about that or anything like that, you don't

01:23have to worry about that.

01:26I printed this out and I was just gonna rehearse it and then do it, um, by memory, but it was

01:32just, as much as I tried to memorize this, like I just couldn't.

01:36So when they, you see me go down like this looking at the, the skit, that's the reason

01:40why.

01:41And the last thing, um, you're actually wondering, well, why are you doing this, don't you usually

01:44do Christmas skits, uh, well, I decide, I'm deciding to expand my horizons, to broaden

01:51my horizons, uh, because you can only do Christmas videos like one or two months out of the year

01:59and I want to be able to make videos all year round and I'm actually gonna be doing more

02:03of that in the future, more on that, uh, in future videos in the coming weeks and months.

02:08And one final, final note and I promise I'll get to this skit, uh, the word denjin is my

02:13alternative word for the word otaku.

02:16Now, otaku is basically the positive attributes of otaku, it literally means electric person

02:22or electric race.

02:23So you don't have to keep wondering, what does the word denjin mean, why does he keep saying

02:28that, that's the reason why he keeps saying that.

02:29So, okay, now without further ado, I present to you Anime Man, so here we go.

02:37I'm an anime man ever since the millennium, a Y2K kid, a computer-loving, internet-browsing,

02:42cartoon-watching, costume-wearing, otaku, denjin, and sometimes gaijin.

02:46I probably do some nihongo, but comprende a lot of English, so I watch subtitles that don't

02:50make me cringe, and when it comes to series, I like to binge.

02:53I binge watch, but I don't binge drink, when it comes to that stuff, I like to think.

02:57I got no wish to pull the plug, because anime is MY anti-drug.

03:01I'm a man for the east, not one of the yeasts, sometimes like a beast, and I will never cease.

03:06Cease to be kind, cease to explore, cease to amaze, or cease to be awesome.

03:10I'm perennial, a premillennial, and a wannabe centennial.

03:13I'm an otaku-slash-denjin, an enthusiast-slash-fanboy, a watcher-slash-creator, and a japanese-slash-american.

03:19What do I love?

03:20Which one do I love?

03:21Does it fit like a glove?

03:22Is it from up above?

03:23Because this is heavenly, heaven-like, heaven-born, and I'm sure heaven-bound.

03:26It's an all-inclusive, no-string-contached, nothing left out, or a unique package deal.

03:30A high-standing, high-quality, clinically tested built today has contributed to the human

03:34experiment.

03:35That's anime, I say, and there's no way that I won't stay.

03:38Stay for more, stay for seconds, stay for sequels, and yes, stay for the movies.

03:41Well, maybe it's not anime.

03:43Maybe you're a gamer.

03:44It's of course fine, so long as you're not a flamer.

03:46So my eyes roll when I see the trolls.

03:48I got no stake at promoting hate.

03:50I like to keep it cool, keep it clean, chill out, mellow out, and be a cool customer.

03:53I have no problems with what you like.

03:55I'll never tell you to take a hike.

03:57But I like super-powered, super-sexy, super-awesome, and of course, Super Saiyans.

04:01It's over-the-top, over-muscular, over-filler, and over 9,000!

04:07But I saw other shows, too.

04:09I watched Naruto, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Ranma, Auron, Gundam Wing, Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball,

04:13Fruits Basket, Kill la Kill, Gurren, Log and Code, yes, Spice and Wolf, Full Metal, Death Note,

04:17Angel Beats, FLCL, and of course, there's Inuyasha, too.

04:22That's a lot of shows, just so you know, and there's a lot of foes that I want to see go.

04:26Go away, go somewhere else, go by the wayside, and sometimes go to hell.

04:29But when it comes to the many spaces, I myself like to go to many places.

04:33I go to cons, I go to means, I go to stores, and I go to cyberspace.

04:36My favorite place is in outer space, and I'm fast-paced in my database,

04:39so I'm international, interactive, and often I'm interstellar.

04:42While I still have the mic, let me tell you about some things I like.

04:45I like deep-plotted, interconnected, meaning-based, well-thought-out stories.

04:48I like interesting, complex, well-meaning, thought-provoking characters.

04:51So, with that said, I like Kira, Kiki, Kiba, Kira, Kikiyo, Kimi, Hiro, Kiro, Go, Kiko, Kibagumi, Kisune, Kiryu, Kiyone, Kisanagi, Kiyoko, Kiyo, Kiyon, Kiyo, and the older brother Kitan.

05:09So, I'd like to thank you all for coming this way and I hope that all of you have a

05:15great day.

05:16May you go home and not get gray and stand together throughout the fray.

05:18Like Niengari, I hope you slay all the demons and be A-OK.

05:21Or also like our Kagome, after she studies and gets an A. So stay on the path and do

05:26not stray because there are many things that will cause you to sway and there are many

05:29reasons I would like to stay but for now that is all I have to say.

05:39Alright thank you very much for listening to me and staying throughout and just like the

05:44skit says.

05:45I hope that all of you have a great day everyone.

05:47Alright take care.

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