00:00Dating.
00:01It's a you.
00:02Sex.
00:03It could be the first date, yeah.
00:06The first I love you.
00:07I think in a week.
00:09We're taking a look at how and when young Europeans approach the big milestones in a relationship,
00:15from the first date to moving in together.
00:18What actually counts as a milestone, though?
00:20And when does it even become a relationship in the first place?
00:23Opinions vary widely on that.
00:25So, we asked around, first young Europeans on the street, then a trained professional.
00:31So, what does it take for a date to officially become a relationship?
00:35Officially, I think like after this third date.
00:39I would personally want to be asked officially.
00:43It can be soon.
00:45It did happen like after a week, it happened after six months.
00:49I would say for me, I probably have that talk early on.
00:52That just suits me, my personality, I want to know.
00:55Like, who are you seeing?
00:56Are you seeing anyone else?
00:57Is it just me?
00:58I never felt the need to have like a talk like, okay, so what are we?
01:03Because I always went with the flow.
01:05And it was always very natural.
01:07If you had been consistently meeting with a person for like three months maybe,
01:12then you could call it a relationship.
01:15We took those answers to psychologist Shilan Derin.
01:18As a couples therapist, she knows that people have very different ideas about how relationships begin
01:24and what might influence those ideas.
01:27I think social media constructs a picture or a certain idea, an imagination of how a relationship should look like,
01:39how it should be, what are the green flags, what are the red flags.
01:43Once you've officially made it into a relationship, next up are a lot of exciting firsts,
01:49like the actual first time, the first I love you, or meeting each other's friends and family.
01:55When's the right time for all of that? We asked our young Europeans.
02:00Manuel, when did we say I love you? First day? No, I'm joking.
02:06Maybe like two months.
02:08Couple of months, yeah.
02:09I think definitely I would say in the first week, yeah. Really, yeah, I would say.
02:13I will wait usually for the other person to like declare first.
02:18I think for me family is very important, so I think I would do it fast because I really like that my parents are comfortable with it.
02:31Yeah, I think it's like it took maybe one year to introduce to my family.
02:36What could explain the differences?
02:38It's probably connected also to values or maybe even traditions.
02:45In the southern countries in Europe, it is more common to live with the parents for a much longer period of time than it is for example in Germany.
02:58That also implies that introducing the partner to the parents probably happens a bit earlier when living with them together.
03:12What about the next milestone, moving in together?
03:15Moving in, that's a tough one. Maybe half a year, but more towards a year definitely.
03:21Maybe after a year, a year and a half.
03:24So it's several years at least, I think. Unless the person has a huge flat so that I can have my own room, my own space.
03:34When to move in together also depends on culture. In southern Europe, say Italy, Spain or Croatia, many people live with their parents until well into their thirties.
03:44By contrast, northern Europeans usually move out in their early twenties. So when you get your own place together depends on the region.
03:53Once you're past all these relationship milestones, there's cause to celebrate. Like on Valentine's Day, though that date's met with varying degrees of enthusiasm across Europe.
04:04Most Italians celebrate it. In Germany and Denmark, it's often ignored. What about anniversaries?
04:11I always used to feel a lot of pressure because I'm very bad at memorizing dates and stuff like that. But I realized it's just a really nice way to appreciate the person and to show your love for them.
04:24I cannot get, I'm so hard on those days. I mean, birthday and Valentine's Day, you know, like, I've never done some things, you know.
04:33I don't mind flowers. But it's not something very critical.
04:39Me and my girlfriend, we've even forgotten our anniversary, so we don't know which day that is anymore.
04:43However, we've just decided to take the birthday of a friend of ours just as an excuse to celebrate our relationship as well.
04:52When are you taking the next steps in your relationship?
04:59Bye.
05:00Bye.
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