00:00Who should pay on the first date?
00:02The one that invites me in.
00:04And what can you do?
00:06Honestly, I don't mind going out for a few drinks.
00:08And is sex on the first date okay?
00:11Sex would be fine.
00:12Hold on, we'll get to that.
00:14So back to the first date.
00:16How would it typically go in Europe?
00:18And what are the absolute no-goes?
00:20We asked the pros on the ground and in offices with diplomas on the wall.
00:24Very basically, what do you do on the first date?
00:27Well, I am from Italy, so we have the aperitivo culture.
00:31So usually we go out at seven and drink.
00:34So that's the perfect hour.
00:36I think I would like to go out and just walk around a bit in the park.
00:41I prefer doing an activity, bowling, a little bit competitive.
00:45You've got to see if they can handle it or not.
00:47Something simple because if it doesn't work, I don't want to escape.
00:53We ran these answers past psychologist Shilan Dedin.
00:57As a couples therapist, she's had lots of experience analyzing many relationships.
01:03It's quite common in Europe, especially more in the northern countries,
01:09that people meet for a first date less formal, so to say, a bit more laid back.
01:17And in Germany, for example, there's no word for dating.
01:22People say, I'm going to meet someone.
01:25Saying, I'm going to meet someone, could mean anything.
01:28It could mean, I'm going to meet a friend, a colleague.
01:31But it could also mean, I'm going to meet my potential partner.
01:37Language shapes the culture.
01:39And Europeans have never been in the habit of using a term corresponding to the English date.
01:45Instead, they'll usually go out together informally as just friends.
01:49And over half of all relationships began as casual friends.
01:53One question has been coming up for debate more often.
01:56Who pays on the first date?
01:58The one that invites me in, so most of the time the man, I would say.
02:04Yeah, because I take my time to go on a date, so yeah.
02:08Especially if I'm going on a date with a man, I like to pay so that I feel like I have some power in that dynamic.
02:15Like, I would never expect somebody to pay for me.
02:17I think both parties should offer.
02:19I would prefer to split a bit.
02:22Every man needs to be a gentleman.
02:24I think the man should pay on the first date.
02:28Who should pay generally comes down to people's concept of gender roles.
02:32In this regard, Southern and Eastern Europe seem a bit more conservative than the North and West.
02:38But things are changing.
02:41There's a lot of exploration also, I think.
02:44Also, when it comes to gender roles, like, where are the boundaries?
02:49And what makes me feel maybe empowered or what makes me feel strong?
02:54Since we live in a society where autonomy and individualism is still very much promoted also.
03:02As gender norms change, personal autonomy gains importance.
03:07But certain no-goes are universal in Europe.
03:10We want to know what's unacceptable on the first date.
03:13Maybe I stay with the phone or something.
03:17Well, getting too touchy, I think this is really weird.
03:20But rudeness.
03:21Take me to meet their family or parents or something.
03:25Don't bring up previous relationships, I'd say.
03:27And assuming the date is going quite well, how far would Europeans go on the first date?
03:33Well, how far as I can get.
03:36Oof, I think sex not.
03:38And I think a kiss would be stepping a lot out of my comfort zone.
03:43I don't really have, like, a no-go.
03:45I wouldn't sleep with someone on the first date, in my opinion.
03:48If I were to do that, it's in a slightly different category in my head.
03:53Make someone wait, potentially for a kiss, like a peck, but only if they're lucky.
03:58Kiss would be fine, yeah.
04:00Sex would be fine.
04:01Maybe a first kiss, but even that, I'm, like, very taking it slow.
04:06But these answers are only a sampling.
04:09In Germany, 40% of men think sex on the first or second date is okay, but only half as many women do.
04:16Our expert sees a pattern there.
04:19People who generally are looking for someone to date for a longer period of time, they tend not to have sex on the first date.
04:30No matter where the first date may lead, it's basically about having a good time together.
04:35Someone might find a partner for the long term or just get to know a new friend.
04:40Or is it possible that this man will have sex on the next date?
04:43Or is there gonna download anything, that perhaps don't have sex on the third date?
04:49I would tell you that your frienduka would like to get one month away on the first date.
04:52That's not possible by the year 2009.
04:53I would tell you that this is something that you have melted or two times on the second date.
04:54I don't think that TT2 is a big mistake or what I would like for a year please.
04:59I would tell you about whether this might taste your friend could probably feel like.
05:04I would tell you about it.
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