- 7 weeks ago
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00:00Betty White, in Life with Elizabeth, featuring Del Moore.
00:19The number one in the life of Elizabeth occurred some time ago.
00:24I believe it was the occasion of one of Mama's rare visits to the home of her daughter.
00:30Elizabeth, how are you tonight?
00:37Moving the furniture again?
00:41You're making the den over into a bedroom?
00:43Why?
00:48Mama's coming to visit.
00:50Oh, I get it. You need the den as a spare room for Mama.
00:54Well, why don't you get Alvin to help?
00:58Alvin doesn't know?
01:00You're going to make the room over and then tell him, is that it?
01:05Oh, honey, that was a wonderful dinner. Just wonderful.
01:10Now, a few minutes with the crossword puzzle, then we'll watch television together.
01:14Alvin, why don't you go outside and...
01:16Oh, no, honey, it's a little too chilly out there beside...
01:19Where's the television set?
01:20Uh, uh, the picture tube went out.
01:25Honey, it's only been in there two weeks.
01:28That's what I told the man.
01:29He said, lady, the picture tube's gone out.
01:31And I said, now, isn't it a little young for that?
01:33It's a joke.
01:35I made it all the time.
01:40It's in the living room.
01:46How in the world did you get it in the living room?
01:48It weighs a ton.
01:49I had on a light movie.
01:54Oh, brother.
01:57Say, speaking of things weighing a ton, how's your mother these days?
02:01Mama?
02:01Oh, Mama's fine.
02:04That's good.
02:05Hey, you know, we do an awful lot of joking about her, but she's really a swell person.
02:10Sweetheart, what would you say if Mama were to come and visit us for a couple of...
02:14Well, I'd say swell, except we don't have a spare room.
02:19Well, maybe I could arrange something.
02:21No, you might as well forget it, honey, because we would...
02:24For how long, did you say?
02:26Oh, with the outside, maybe a couple of...
02:29Now, try it again.
02:34Darling, here I am just chattering away when you're trying to finish your puzzle.
02:39Elizabeth, I was trying to...
02:40You're always so ready to forgive your chatterbox, wife.
02:42Now, you go right back to your puzzle.
02:43I want to straighten up around here.
02:45Okay.
02:46I may have to yell for help.
02:48You might have a line sooner or later you will.
02:50Oh, yes.
02:58Let it work.
02:59Hey, honey, what's a four-letter word meaning, not here?
03:08Uh, gone.
03:11Gone.
03:20I need a six-letter word meaning, uh, disappear.
03:24Oh, how about, um, how about vanish?
03:30Vanish?
03:32Yeah.
03:37That's a pitch.
03:38Alvin, uh, I found the only way to really work a crossword puzzle is to concentrate completely.
03:45Don't even look up.
03:46What'd you say?
03:48I, I said I, I talk too much.
03:51Well, I'm going to really concentrate on this and do it good.
03:55Good.
03:55Must say, you're taking it pretty good about your mother.
04:04I thought you might try one of your tricks.
04:07Alvin.
04:10Hey, what are you doing back there?
04:11I can't see you.
04:12Jeff, weren't you puzzled?
04:14Oh.
04:18You know, sometimes I think we really ought to build a guest room.
04:23Look at the overhead.
04:25Oh, overhead.
04:26Elizabeth, sometimes I think you're off your rocker.
04:29The rocker off me?
04:31Huh?
04:31I, I, I said you're not concentrating.
04:34Oh, that's right.
04:37Seventeen-letter word meaning huh.
04:41Seventeen.
04:47Hmm.
04:47Uh, see if you can move from that chair into this without breaking your train of thought.
04:53Sure.
04:53Sweetie, without breaking your train of thought, how would you move a heavy bookcase without asking somebody to help you?
05:23I'd get the roller skate Kathy left here on our last visit.
05:27Go on.
05:28Lift up one end of the bookcase, slide it underneath, wheel the whole thing out.
05:38That's it.
05:41Yeah.
05:41I like that.
05:46Honey, what's the, what's a five-letter word meaning stupid?
05:51Help.
05:53Hey, I'm doing pretty good so far.
05:58That's A-L-V-I-N.
06:00Got it.
06:03All right, it says here that some guy completed one of these things in ten minutes.
06:08Maybe he just wasn't concentrating.
06:11Honey, what's a, what's a word for a base of mountain?
06:16Foot.
06:16Foot.
06:17Foot.
06:18Foot.
06:20Well, I'm almost through now.
06:29Can you imagine anyone saying that he can work one of these things in ten minutes?
06:34Guy ought to be hanged.
06:37Well, whatever you say, dear.
06:38Hey, where I am, I'm almost through.
06:44Oh, my.
06:44I can't get over anybody saying he can do one of these in ten minutes.
06:49That's a lot of funk.
06:50It has to be free.
06:51It's for Mama.
06:52Hmm?
06:53Oh, my God.
06:53Just wait a second.
06:54Oh, my God.
06:54Just wait a second.
06:55I can't get over anybody saying he can do one of these in ten minutes.
07:00That's a lot of funk.
07:01It has to be free.
07:02It's for Mama.
07:03Hmm?
07:04Can you move over some place else without breaking your train of thought?
07:20I want to straighten up the room a little.
07:22Yeah, yeah.
07:23Here, I'll move here on a bit.
07:24Oh, my God.
07:25Oh, my God.
07:26Oh, my God.
07:27Oh, my God.
07:28Oh, my God.
07:29Oh, my God.
07:30Oh, my God.
07:31Oh, my God.
07:32Oh, my God.
07:33Oh, my God.
07:35Six.
07:39Hey, honey, have you changed the bedroom around?
07:41No.
07:41I just made it in.
07:43Yeah.
07:44Do you like it?
07:46Yeah, and just take a little getting used to.
07:49That's all.
07:50I'll be right back.
07:52I'm going into the den for a minute.
07:55Yeah.
07:57Hey, honey, what's a five-letter word meaning shock?
08:01Alvin.
08:02Sonny, what's the matter?
08:04I can't find the den.
08:06You can't find the den?
08:07It was here a minute ago.
08:09Elizabeth, this smells like one of your tricks.
08:11What do you mean you can't find it?
08:14While you were concentrating, I changed the den into a spare room.
08:17Mama's going to pay us a visit.
08:19You check.
08:21Well, I shall leave you at this point, Elizabeth.
08:24Why?
08:26She sent a wire. She can't make it.
08:28That's why I thought I'd change it into a spare room with it.
08:32Mama, she can't make it.
08:36What do you mean she can't make it?
08:37She just can't make it, that's all.
08:39Here.
08:43Dear Elizabeth, I can't make it.
08:46By the way, Elizabeth, what's a nine-letter word meaning, not too bright?
08:52Elizabeth.
08:52Thank you. Good night, Elizabeth.
08:56Elizabeth, aren't you ashamed?
08:59I've been meaning to talk to you about that in the first place.
09:02Elizabeth, aren't you ashamed?
09:09Incident number two in the life of Elizabeth occurred in the summer of last year.
09:14Anyway, it was a swell day for a picnic, and Elizabeth managed to borrow two bicycles from somewhere,
09:20and away they went.
09:22That's a nice little scene.
09:27We may as well wait right here until Elizabeth and Alvin come gliding up.
09:31Alvin, come on, honey.
09:46I think I've found a pretty place.
09:49Hurry up.
09:50Hurry up.
09:52Oh, my God.
09:53Oh, my God.
09:57Hi.
09:58Hold on.
10:01He's a boy.
10:02I've got his way.
10:07I've got that.
10:07will you put that oh you got a few miles that bicycle you discover muscles you
10:22didn't even know existed well it's not those muscles that bother me I've got
10:27pretty out here yeah Elizabeth why did you get me a bicycle with a front wheel
10:32it won't turn it won't even budge look at this bearing must be frozen maybe if you
10:42leave it in the Sun for a while it'll fall when it comes to things mechanical you're
10:48a nudnik well then explain to me how a bear could freeze in weather like this
10:53not a bear a bearing it's in here for the first five miles this wheel was turning
10:58fine then somebody forgot to oil it the bearing got hot and it froze it got hot
11:04and froze that's right when we get home remind me to boil up a few ice cubes
11:12anyway if I can get this wheel off I think I can fix it okay while you do that I'll
11:18fix lunch breaking my back how would you like some nice tuna sandwiches I brought
11:28some tuna mayonnaise pickles tonight's coffee honey you didn't have to bring any
11:36pliers did you oh well a bobby pin no look at me like that I don't carry pliers in my
11:44hair you know you know this place is absolutely ideal for a picnic no ants no
11:53flies no bees and no rain yeah you just wait we'll find something it'll make us
11:59miserable before the day is over oh and I don't be like that honey I didn't bring
12:05much food I just brought tuna and mayonnaise and pickles and iced coffee yeah well
12:10that's fine I just get this wheel off now everything would be complete
12:17yeah I can't get over it
12:19no ants no flies no bees and no rain
12:23I'll take that bobby pin after all
12:25oh now you come running
12:27hey by golly you're right
12:29no ants no flies no bees and no rain
12:32and no bobby pin why not I don't know I guess they must have jarred loose when I hit that tree back there
12:39oh this is a fine kettle of fish I don't have the kettle but I do have the fish
12:45I brought tuna mayonnaise pickles and iced coffee
12:49yeah that's fine but I can't enjoy a meal knowing I have to carry this thing back to town
12:53how about that no ants no flies no bees and no friends
13:02yes and I have no pliers no wrench and no cooperation from you
13:06well how did I know the bear was gonna freeze
13:10Elizabeth don't you have anything in this basket I can get that wheel off with
13:13no honey all I brought was tuna mayonnaise pickles and iced coffee
13:19now do you want to tell me again about the ants and the flies
13:22well it's true no ants no flies no bees and iced coffee
13:26uh no rain
13:28let's eat I'll fix the bite later
13:31good
13:32hey that isn't poison oak over there is it
13:34mm-mm
13:35darling would you get the bread I think I left it in the other basket
13:38hey no bread over here
13:45you sure
13:47funny
13:48huh
13:49guess I must have jarred loose when I hit that tree back there
13:51well we can spread the tuna on the pickle
13:52oh that sounds great
13:54what's this
13:55oh you asked if that was poison oak over there
13:58that isn't but this is
13:59see you can tell by the leaves
14:00that's your mind
14:03Albert don't look so horrified
14:05the doctor told us we weren't allergic to poison oak
14:08that's the baby we've got to be careful of
14:10why
14:11poison ivy
14:12look you can tell the difference between
14:14let's eat we'll have the botany lesson later
14:18okay
14:19you open the thermos
14:21okay
14:22and I'll open the pickles
14:23here you are
14:25little iced coffee Elizabeth
14:28mm-hmm
14:30squeeze it
14:43honey let's face it you brought the wrong thermos jug
14:48I'm sorry
14:49see if you can open the pickles
14:51it's no use I can't open it
15:01why don't we just have to put the tuna
15:03on our
15:04on the mayonnaise
15:06that ought to be good
15:07see if you can open the mayonnaise
15:08what do they do weld these things on?
15:17it's no use I can't do it
15:21we just spread the tuna on our hands
15:23oh what now
15:27I can't find the can opener
15:29don't tell me
15:30it bounced out when you hit the tree back there
15:32maybe if we punched a hole in the top with a rock
15:36we could drink it through straws
15:38we haven't got any straws
15:40you've been sitting in the sun a little bit too long
15:44some picnic
15:47it's fine
15:51Alvin
15:52yes
15:53here come the ants
15:55poor little fellows will starve to death
15:58I've got news for you
16:00the flies and the bees are arriving
16:03there's no rain
16:05pivot time
16:07Alvin I have an idea
16:10Elizabeth I no longer trust you
16:12I think your brains bounced out
16:14when you hit that rock
16:15the tree back there
16:16I'm talking about the tree back there
16:18the can opener
16:19the bread
16:20the bobby pin
16:21they're all by that tree
16:22and it's only a couple of miles back
16:23by golly you're right
16:24you're right
16:25come on
16:26let's go
16:27I'll be sure about it
16:28you get the bicycle
16:29and I'll get these things right here
16:30I'll turn this one around
16:31well we can do this
16:32if we just go back and different
16:33hurry on
16:34sure we will
16:35will that fun yet huh
16:37come on
16:38come on
16:39come on
16:40come on
16:41come on
16:42come on
16:43I told you to fall
16:44I told you to fall
16:45you
16:47don't worry about the
16:52don't worry about the
16:59Albert
17:00yes here I am
17:01yes
17:02come on
17:03you know
17:04Albert
17:05come on
17:06just a minute
17:11incident number three in the life of Elizabeth occurred the first time she met Mrs. Skinridge
17:17you may be interested to know that their relationship as neighbors started off very badly
17:22and then rapidly
17:24deteriorating
17:41root rot
17:42root rot
17:43I could tell clear over from my yard these plants had root rot
17:46what kind of root rot
17:48red
17:49red root rot
17:50red root rot
17:51how do you get rid of red root rot
17:53can't
17:54just get rid of the plants
17:57would you care to sit down and Mrs. Skinridge
18:00Skinridge
18:01Chloe Skinridge
18:02I'm your neighbor from the other side Elizabeth
18:04uh
18:05where is Alvin
18:06oh he's in the house
18:07he
18:08how did you know his name
18:09I am what is known as a nosy neighbor
18:12well you're certainly frank about it
18:15no point in being any other way
18:17people say I talk funny
18:19isn't true
18:20I talk a lot
18:22well now why in the world would they say you talk funny
18:24I haven't the least idea
18:26oh can I help you empty the thrash
18:28the thrash?
18:30the thrash is a waste paper basket here
18:33oh this thrash
18:34I can get it I'll be right back
18:37alright
18:39oh
18:40this is a nice suit of furniture you have Elizabeth
18:43when the movers was carrying it in I thought it was Roth iron
18:46you thought it was what?
18:47Roth iron
18:48it's just the right height
18:50do you mind if I make a joke on that?
18:53I'm always making up jokes
18:55don't tell me you have a sense of humor
18:58sense of humor
18:59you too?
19:00oh
19:01I've been waiting for this
19:03me too
19:04why only last night I said to Pierre
19:06I hope for goodness that girl Elizabeth has a sense of humor
19:08I said
19:09I was wrenching out some of his clothes at the time
19:12I turned to him and I said
19:14I may be a nosy neighbor
19:15but I'll say one thing for me
19:18I'm a funny nosy neighbor
19:23now you go on
19:24you tell me the joke
19:25oh no I forgot it
19:27oh we were talking about the Roth iron furniture
19:30oh yes well it's
19:32it isn't funny now
19:34go on tell it anyway
19:36no it takes too much build up
19:38go on tell it anyway
19:40well
19:41you were just saying about the Roth iron
19:43and I was going to say that I didn't know Mr. Roth made irons
19:47go on tell it anyway
19:48oh hello Albert
19:52how do you do?
19:53and this is Mrs. Skinridge she lives next door
19:55she came over to kind of
19:57she
19:58hmm
19:59pretty nice
20:00where do you want me to put the paper?
20:03why don't you put them in the thrash can?
20:05yeah
20:06what?
20:07what?
20:08you heard her
20:09over there by the palm tree
20:11instead I think I'll put them over by the palm tree in the trash can
20:15Elizabeth
20:16what part of the country is he from?
20:17his accent is fantastic
20:20well he spent quite a bit of time in Detroit
20:22hey who's been tearing up the plants?
20:23Mrs. Skinridge, honey
20:24she says they have rot roots
20:25root rot
20:26root rot
20:27they also have stale stems
20:29see that?
20:30they break off like that
20:31because they belong to the begonia family
20:32yes
20:33yes
20:34yes
20:35yes
20:36yes
20:37yes
20:38yes
20:39yes
20:40yes
20:41yes
20:42yes
20:43yes
20:44yes
20:45yes
20:46yes
20:47yes
20:48yes
20:49yes
20:50yes
20:51maybe we ought to give them back
20:54see how brittle they are?
20:56no I didn't mean that
20:57I mean you said the begonia family
20:58and I
20:59I said about that
21:00Elizabeth she doesn't mean people
21:01she means plants
21:04et too Brutus?
21:05my lamb
21:06you both have an accent
21:10Elizabeth do you want her to think we're stupid?
21:12it isn't et
21:13it's eaten
21:15I'll remember that darling
21:17yes
21:18have you eaten too Brutus?
21:19that'll come in real handy if I meet a fellow named Brutus who hasn't had lunch
21:25sure it will
21:29Alvin
21:30Robert
21:31you're teasing me
21:33I'm freezing here
21:35now tell me about rot root Annie
21:38well sweetie she has no sense of humor and she's a fantastic gossip
21:41fantastic gossip
21:44how do you know she's a gossip?
21:46she seems to be proud of it
21:47she knew my name as well as yours
21:48and I came out
21:49she was poking around in the plant
21:51you hoo
21:52I'm back
21:53I've been looking through your trash can
21:55you can find out a lot about people that way
21:57almost as good as a party line
21:59boy are we gonna lead a life
22:01don't let her bother me
22:02she doesn't do any good to whisper
22:04I also read lips
22:05Mrs. Skimridge
22:09why don't you sit down and tell us about yourself
22:12yeah
22:13well
22:15everybody calls me Chloe
22:17but my real name is Chloe
22:19Chloe?
22:21oh but you changed it because they kept throwing you in the pool
22:24we didn't have a pool
22:26no
22:27well even as a child I loved to gossip
22:29so Papa bought me a telescope when I was nine
22:31when I was nine
22:33or was it then?
22:35you smile people?
22:37all day
22:38except when I practiced my saxophone of course
22:41saxophone
22:43naturally
22:44I knew I was going to like you folks
22:47the minute I washed Elizabeth's face
22:49you washed my face?
22:51when Alvin kissed you goodbye
22:52I washed your face
22:54and Annette
22:56oh
22:58you scared me for a minute
22:59she washed my face through the telescope
23:02the telescope
23:04get two naps
23:06she washed my face
23:07and then she washed you get in the car
23:09and we both washed you drive away
23:11then I went right into the house
23:13and exploded some breakfast food
23:15went right into the house and exploded
23:18don't look like that
23:20I always explode my own breakfast food
23:23excuse me
23:25just a second
23:26that time
23:27oh my land
23:28it's time to take my poob-a-lesson
23:34Mrs. Skinridge
23:36Mrs. Skinridge
23:38why are you deliberately trying to make yourself obnoxious?
23:43these plants definitely haven't rot
23:48are you hoping we'll move away?
23:51they have stale stem too
23:52hey she's pretending to be a stinker so we'll move away
23:56welcome to the party Alvin
23:58well Mrs. Skinridge
24:01I have a little dog
24:03and he barks
24:05so what?
24:07not so what Alvin
24:08it's what difference does that make
24:09so what Mrs.
24:11what about your little dog Mrs. Skinridge
24:13well the last people that lived here kept reporting him as a nuisance
24:16I thought you might do the same
24:18well that's no problem
24:22listen just a moment
24:24Humphrey
24:25here boy
24:26Humphrey
24:28I'll see
24:29Mrs. Skinridge
24:31Storm
24:32Stormy
24:35well we'd better get these plants back on the ground
24:38why?
24:39there's no such thing as root rot
24:40really?
24:41I've got an older stale stem
24:42then why is so getting easier
24:43I thought when you said you were a good dog
24:45that was a good dog
24:47hey
24:49hey
24:50say goodbye to the people
24:52goodbye everybody
24:53goodbye everybody
24:54that's the funniest thing you said though
24:56the law
24:57you
24:59why?
25:00you
25:05who
25:07who
25:08who
25:11good of all
25:12for ya
25:13before
25:15im
25:16the
25:17nd
25:18vs
25:21if
25:24they
25:25you
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