- 3 weeks ago
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00:00Let's follow the path of Dusty's Trail, oh, Dusty's Trail, Dusty's Trail.
00:07A stage and a wagon are heading west, part of a wagon train lost from the rest.
00:16Dusty's the reason for their plight, thanks to Dusty, nothing's right.
00:23Only the wagon master's hand keeps them a-rollin' to the promised land.
00:31Oh, the goin' gets mighty rough, but they don't seem to mind.
00:37It's California, eh, that's the place they must find.
00:43Deserts and rocks are in their way, but they won't stop, come what may.
00:50The mountains and hills that they must scale, but they know they'll make it
00:55cause they just can't fail on Dusty's Trail.
01:03I don't know, it's supposed to be buffalo country, I haven't seen one.
01:06I saw one.
01:07Why didn't you shoot him?
01:08I didn't want to make him mad.
01:09You ever see the horns on one of those fellas?
01:10Yeah.
01:11Well, I guess we ought to get on back.
01:19The rest of them ought to be awake by now, huh?
01:21I kind of hate to leave this place.
01:23It's so peaceful.
01:24Yeah, it sure is.
01:28I think we got company.
01:33What, are you crazy?
01:34Nobody around here for miles and miles and miles.
01:36Oh, hi, neighbor.
01:38Nice day, isn't it?
01:38Start traveling.
01:39Hey, I'd be careful where you're pointing those guns, fellas.
01:42Mr. Calican's kind of touchy.
01:43Yeah, I don't like nobody pointing guns at me till I've been proper introduced.
01:56Well, now, here, I'm certainly glad to make a point, sir.
01:59Yes, sir, that's it.
02:02Oh, yes, whatever.
02:04Yes, sir.
02:09Oh, hey, listen, are you guys after money?
02:23I mean, I got some in the bank in Kansas City.
02:25I'd be happy to go get it for you.
02:27I'll help him carry it.
02:28Mister, one more step and your wife will be a widow.
02:31Oh, I'm not married.
02:32I wasn't even stepping anyway.
02:34Then your wife will be a widow.
02:35I'm not even engaged, but I'm not stepping either, see?
02:38Yes, sir.
02:40You're just the guys we're looking for.
02:42Well, if you're not after money, what do you want?
02:44You might do something to cheer up our sisters.
02:47Poor Elvira and Cleo.
02:48Practically to the altar.
02:50When Clarence and Harvey up and cashed in their chips.
02:55Oh, that's too bad.
02:56What did they die of?
02:57You might say it's a bad case of lead poisoning.
03:00Accident?
03:01Nope.
03:02It's more like on purpose.
03:03Oh, yeah, well, I can see how your sisters would eat some cheering up.
03:08Sure enough, losing their grooms like that, huh?
03:10Yeah, we'd be happy to cheer him up.
03:11Mr. Callahan can tell him jokes.
03:13Oh, he does great turkey gopher.
03:14He does it so good we almost lost him on Thanksgiving.
03:18That's not exactly what we had in mind.
03:20We were thinking about words, you might say.
03:23Words would make them gals happy again.
03:26What words?
03:27Just two short ones.
03:29I do.
03:29You don't...
03:30We do.
03:30Listen, we don't even know your sisters.
03:34They've got to be kidding.
03:36They're not kidding.
03:40Is anything wrong?
03:45Callahan and Dusty aren't here.
03:47Oh, well, last night, they said they were going hunting this morning.
03:50And the horses are all here.
03:52They must have gone on foot.
03:54Well, now, in that case, we ought to be able to track them.
03:56Hey, here's some footprints leading away from the wagon.
04:02Hey, what do you say we follow them, Mr. Brookhaven?
04:04Sir, I'm a banker, not a bloodhound.
04:08Come on, sir.
04:10Oh, very well.
04:14We'll just wait right here while Buck gets the girls.
04:18You're about to meet up with two pretty fillies.
04:21Pretty what?
04:21Careful, mister.
04:22You're talking about my sisters.
04:24I was only joking.
04:26I mean, you ask us to be cheerful.
04:28Yeah, that's what we are.
04:29Careful.
04:30Then how about a smile?
04:32Yeah, we're smiling, but from the inside.
04:34Yeah, well, just from the outside, we're miserable.
04:37I'll give you something to be happy about.
04:39In about two minutes, you're going to be popping the question.
04:41And Elvira and Cleo will be saying yes.
04:45Yeah, well, maybe they won't say yes.
04:46Maybe they won't even like us.
04:48Oh, they'll like you all right.
04:50Well, what if we don't like them?
04:51You'll like them.
04:54We'll like them.
04:55We'll like them.
05:03I think I kind of envy those guys out there under the dirt.
05:06I think they took the easy way out.
05:08Elvira, meet up with...
05:10Callahan.
05:11My name is Call...
05:12This is Dusty.
05:14Howdy.
05:15Howdy.
05:15Howdy.
05:16Howdy.
05:17Come on, Clint.
05:17Wars come and six is a crowd.
05:19The boys here have something to ask you.
05:23We'll be right outside.
05:25I kind of like the big one.
05:27Oh, all right.
05:28Then I'll take the shrimp.
05:31Come on, boys.
05:31Let's sit down.
05:32Let's sit down.
05:33Oh, yes.
05:34Yes.
05:36Buck says you have something you want to ask us.
05:38Ask him?
05:38No, I can't think of anything that we...
05:40Can you think of anything that we were going to ask?
05:41I can't think of anything I'd ask him.
05:43I'm sure Clint said you had a question you all wanted to ask us.
05:48Oh, that question.
05:49Yes.
05:49Yeah.
05:49Well, the boys told us that we had to ask...
05:52I mean, they told us that we wanted to ask...
05:54Ask you if...
05:56Well, we couldn't all have a drink.
05:58That's the question.
05:59Right.
06:00Say, that sounds like a good idea.
06:03Yeah.
06:04Help us all get better acquainted.
06:07Let's get out of here while we're still alive and single.
06:15Come on.
06:18We're alive, free and single.
06:19Stop talking.
06:20Let's start running.
06:25Going somewhere?
06:27Well, we was just going out for a little air.
06:29You see, it was warm in there.
06:32Warm, was it?
06:33I can put a few holes in you to cool you off.
06:37You don't have to tie us up.
06:44We're not going anywhere.
06:45Bet you're booching or not.
06:47You fellas might as well know the truth.
06:49Buck and me, we're desperate.
06:51We won't get to California.
06:53Make us a fortune.
06:54But we promised Plop on his deathbed
06:56that we wouldn't leave the gals less than they was hitched
06:59and had somebody to take care of.
07:00Yeah, well, why us?
07:01Why not somebody else?
07:02Because you're here and somebody else ain't.
07:05He's got a plate there.
07:06Hey, who's the side of you?
07:07We had two other guys all set,
07:09but they tried to run out of us.
07:11So you see, you ain't got much choice.
07:14It's either marrying or joining Clarence and Harvey out there.
07:17Oh, yeah.
07:18Well, the more I think about it,
07:19the more attractive those ladies get, huh?
07:21What you thinking, mister?
07:23Yeah.
07:23Yeah.
07:24Three.
07:26Three.
07:30Three.
07:31Three.
07:31Why did you say that?
07:32I'm not marrying either one of those girls in my life.
07:34Depends on me.
07:34Neither am I.
07:35I'm just trying to give ourselves a breathing spell
07:37till we can break out of here.
07:38Oh, you had me worried for a minute.
07:40Hey, listen.
07:41See if you can reach the knots down on my wrist, will you?
07:43Okay.
07:44Oh, I think I've got it.
07:46Yeah?
07:46Yeah.
07:47Good.
07:47Yeah.
07:47I've got it.
07:48Yeah.
07:48Yeah.
07:48No, I'm working on it.
07:50Yeah.
07:50There.
07:50I'm getting it.
07:51I'm getting it.
07:52Nope.
07:53No?
07:53No?
07:53What happened?
07:54I've been tugging on my thumb.
07:57Okay, good.
08:00Listen, there's just one little latch on that door.
08:02Maybe if we can kind of jump over there, you know?
08:05Oh, okay.
08:06All right, let's give it a try.
08:07Here you go.
08:09There.
08:10There.
08:11There.
08:12Oh, now, wait.
08:13Whoa, whoa, whoa.
08:14Wait, we're not getting nowhere this way.
08:15Uh-uh.
08:16Have you ever been to Papoose?
08:18Papoose?
08:18Yeah, you know how they carry them Indian kids on the back.
08:22Hang tight.
08:22Hang tight.
08:29Oh, yeah.
08:31Yeah, get to the door.
08:33No more.
08:34No more.
08:34Over this way.
08:35That's it.
08:35Come on.
08:36I got it.
08:36There it is.
08:37Oh, listen.
08:38We're free.
08:38We're free.
08:39I don't know how I'm going to thank you, Mr. Callahan, for saving my life.
08:41Will you stop blubbering?
08:42Let's just get out of here.
08:48That a boy, Mr. Callahan.
08:49Keep going.
08:55What's the matter?
08:58That's the matter.
09:03Do you see what I see?
09:05I do.
09:07But I don't believe it.
09:08Getting some more fresh air?
09:10No, we were trying to escape.
09:12Doctor.
09:12Don't know why you fellas are carrying on so.
09:15We ain't asking you to love them gals.
09:17All you got to do is marry them.
09:19Yeah, but we'd make lousy husbands.
09:21We like to be bachelors.
09:22Yeah, yeah.
09:23Every man likes being a bastard.
09:25We all got to go sometime.
09:27This time, everything's going to be done proper-like.
09:30First to courting.
09:31Then hugging.
09:33Then proposing.
09:35First to courting.
09:36Then hugging.
09:36Then proposing.
09:37Uh, in that order.
09:39In any order.
09:40You name it.
09:41Maybe we ought to jump them.
09:43Are you joking?
09:44Either one of those monstrous brutes could tear us in half.
09:47Well, we can't stand by and do nothing.
09:49I have no intention to.
09:50I was about to propose a very definite plan of action.
09:53What?
09:53Let's go back to the wagon and tell the ladies we're in trouble.
09:56Let's go back to the wagon and tell the ladies we're in trouble.
10:03Yeah, well, I thought I'd want you ladies to think we're too forward, but when you see beauty that's so overpowered, it just makes your heart hammer, well, there's just nothing you can do but come out and say so.
10:17Now, that's a mighty fine speech.
10:19I agree.
10:20You do?
10:21Yep, that was a mighty fine speech.
10:22You know, I was about to say the same thing myself.
10:24You two girls are something else.
10:26A few minutes ago, you acted like you could hardly wait to get out of here.
10:30Yeah, well, we were just overcome by emotion.
10:32You know, we just couldn't go on and speak out.
10:35Yeah, we never met two girls like you before.
10:39Dusty, don't pay these girls compliments like that.
10:41They just must be hearing them all the time.
10:42Now, Papa used to say our eyes was prettier than the heifer's.
10:47But don't you think I'm a little too...
10:49What, well, plump?
10:50Why, fiddlesticks.
10:51I mean, a girl with a figure like yours, what, the extra 30, 40 pounds, don't hard to show.
10:57You boys certainly know how to sweet-talk a girl.
11:00No, that ain't sweet-talk.
11:01I mean, not when you've got a proper inspiration.
11:03Yeah, and we've got plenty of inspiration.
11:06Uh, listen, would you, uh, would you pardon us this minute?
11:09Dusty, come in.
11:12Well, that's the moment of truth.
11:16Which one you want?
11:17It's like having a choice between being trampled by an elephant or eaten by a buzzard.
11:21Yeah, well, I'll take the elephant.
11:23I'll take the buzzard.
11:27Well, now, Elviry, I haven't known you for very long, but there's something that I've got to ask you.
11:32Big boy, if you're proposing, the answer is yeah!
11:37Yeah, yeah, yeah, well...
11:38Leo, there comes a time in every man's life when he wishes he was dead.
11:41I mean, he wishes he was dead right when he chooses his girl, and I guess I'm...
11:45Sweetheart, I accept.
11:58I've got it.
11:59I've got just the thing.
12:01Andy, what is it?
12:02Well, I remember reading in a new scientific journal about a chemical discovery.
12:07I think I've succeeded in duplicating the formula.
12:09Andy, this is no time to be playing mad scientist.
12:13Callahan and Dusty are in trouble.
12:15If this chemical does just half of what it's supposed to do, Callahan and Dusty will soon be free as birds.
12:22Bachelor birds.
12:23Welcome to the family, brothers-in-laws.
12:33Well, not just yet.
12:35I mean, you see, we believe in long engagements.
12:37Oh, that's all right with us.
12:38Right, Clint?
12:39Sure.
12:40Till tomorrow.
12:42Tomorrow?
12:42Yep.
12:43The Marian preacher's coming by to hitch the gals up with Clarence and Harvey.
12:47There'll be a change in names, that's all.
12:49If you're nice to know, the preacher won't be coming for nothing.
13:01Those two men are still on guard.
13:04Are you sure this will work?
13:06It's called chloroform.
13:09And according to that article I read, a couple of whiffs of this and those two bruisers will be hearing rock-a-bye baby.
13:14The jumping horned toad are there.
13:44I must have died and gone to heaven.
13:48Howdy.
13:48Hi.
13:50We saw the house and we thought we'd say howdy.
13:53We hope you don't mind.
13:55Shucks, we don't mind.
13:57Can we glance?
13:57Heck no.
13:58Best thing that's happened around here since the sheriff fell off his horse and broke his leg.
14:02Well, we was thinking of opening up a dance school nearby and, uh...
14:10A dancing school?
14:11Yeah.
14:12And I'll bet you I could teach you to do the waltz in just one little old lesson.
14:16Yeah.
14:17Come here.
14:21Now, why don't you take those big arms and put them around my little waist and watch my feet.
14:26Ready?
14:26One, two, three.
14:29One, two, three.
14:31You sure have a wonderful physique.
14:33Pretty good muscles, too.
14:36Hey, you smell good.
14:37Oh, it's not me.
14:39It's my flowers.
14:41See?
14:42Well, this waltz in furious fun.
14:44I, uh...
14:49I, uh...
14:51Betsy!
15:08Lulu!
15:09Hey, you're just in time!
15:10Yeah, the preacher's coming tomorrow to marry us.
15:12Not if we can help it.
15:14Oh, hey, yeah.
15:16Oh!
15:17Yeah, thank you.
15:19Oh!
15:20Oh, boy, I tell you.
15:21Hey, how'd you get past the guards?
15:23Don't worry about them.
15:24They're in slumberland.
15:25Yeah, now, listen.
15:26We'll go first to make sure the coast is clear.
15:28And when you hear an owl hoot, you come a-run it.
15:31Come a-run it.
15:31Right.
15:32Owl.
15:32There we got you.
15:33You got that.
15:33Uh-huh, yeah.
15:34Oh, I'll never forget Lulu and Betsy for this.
15:36They saved us from a faint worsted.
15:39Hey, that sound like an owl to you.
15:44What are you stopping for?
15:50I just thought of a way to show her our appreciation to Betsy and Lulu.
15:52Oh?
15:55I'll give these to Betsy.
15:57Hey, that's a good idea.
15:58I'll give these to Lulu.
15:59Oh, I bet they really like these, huh?
16:00Hey, they smell good, don't they?
16:02Huh?
16:03Yeah.
16:03We better get going before it's too new.
16:05Hey, Dusty, there's no time to take it.
16:07Na-na-na-na-na-na.
16:16Oh, my God.
16:30And then Dusty and Callaghan smelled the flowers and passed out.
16:34Now, you mustn't blame yourselves, my dears.
16:37Perhaps you can try again tomorrow.
16:39Tomorrow will be too late.
16:41The preacher comes tomorrow to tie the knots.
16:44That soon?
16:45Yeah, just 24 little hours.
16:51Suppose the preacher were to arrive before tomorrow,
16:55like today, for example.
17:04Howdy, brother.
17:24Don't let me stop your work.
17:26He who cuts his own wood is twice bled.
17:31Amen.
17:32Amen.
17:32You weren't expecting preacher Waldo till tomorrow.
17:35I'm afraid the good brother was gone to his justice earth.
17:38Gone?
17:40Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
17:43Amen.
17:44Amen.
17:45Reverend Brookhaven is my name, brother.
17:48And this here is my helpmate in joy and sorrow,
17:51Mrs. Reverend Brookhaven.
17:53Pleased to meet you.
17:55You regular reverend.
17:56Ordean by this book for preaching, funeralizing, and baptizing.
18:01How about weddings?
18:03And when the reverend joins them, you can't separate them with a crowbar.
18:06Reverend, I think you and us can do some business.
18:11I just know I'm going to cry.
18:14I always cry at weddings.
18:17I know a couple men are going to cry at this wedding.
18:19Which reminds me, I'd better go get the grooms.
18:21Sure lucky thing for us reverend, King.
18:26Well, here come the bride.
18:33It's a bean.
18:36This is cruel and inhuman punishment.
18:39Thank you, sir.
18:40It was beautiful.
18:42I've been practicing it for a long time.
18:47Smell, dain you.
18:53Brother Ross, I want you to meet the man that's going to do the honor.
18:57Reverend Brookhaven.
18:58Wait a minute.
18:58He's not a...
18:59Don't be nervous, friend.
19:00Just leave it to the reverend.
19:02As good book says,
19:03E Pluribus Unum and Caveat Emto.
19:08Amen.
19:09Amen.
19:10All right, everybody.
19:12Not hitching time.
19:13Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here
19:15to usher four people into the holy bombs of matrimony.
19:20Get on with it, reverend.
19:22These gals ain't getting any younger.
19:24According to the assets and liabilities
19:26and with the power vested in me by the chairman of the court,
19:30Callaghan, Dusty, Cleo, Elvira,
19:36in sickness and in health,
19:39and Richard,
19:40I now pronounce you man and wife.
19:42I now pronounce you man and wife.
19:44Glory be!
19:46Hallelujah!
19:46Thank you, sir.
19:48I ain't gonna be here.
19:49So far so good.
19:51I just hope Mr. Brookhaven doesn't turn out to be a real reverend.
19:53Wait a minute.
19:54We know we're nothing, but they don't.
19:56They're not gonna let us get away.
19:57Don't worry about that.
19:58Now, listen.
19:58Well, aren't you going to kiss your bride?
20:10Sure, I can't wait.
20:11Well, I can't get certain.
20:13Hold it!
20:15You are kissing the wrong girl.
20:19I married him to her and her to him.
20:24Well, unmarry him and start over again.
20:26I can't.
20:27I'm authorized to marry people, not to unmarry him.
20:31Well, do you mean to tell me that he is married to my daughter, Elvira?
20:34I'm afraid so.
20:37Well, you're just a no-good skunk.
20:38You planned this for purpose so that you could steal my beautiful bride.
20:41You mangy polecat, you fixed it up so you could steal my beautiful Cleo.
20:44You are just a no-good varmint.
20:46That's what you are.
20:47Well, you're nothing but a no-good double O'Dowd.
20:48Why, nobody can talk to me like that.
20:51This calls for a duel.
20:53I just happen to have some pistols in my wagon.
20:55Now, just a minute.
20:56Can't we talk this over?
20:57No chance.
20:59He's demanded satisfaction.
21:00Shall we say 20 paces and fire at will?
21:06Make that 10 paces.
21:08I'll want to shoot that wife's stealing varmint right between the eyes.
21:11Make that five paces.
21:12My honor's at stake.
21:13Five paces it is.
21:15One, two, three, four, five.
21:20They got me.
21:23I'm a goner goodbye, cruel world.
21:26He got me.
21:28Right in the guzzard.
21:29Guzzard?
21:30Yeah, guzzard.
21:32They're just wounded.
21:34And we can nurse them back to hell.
21:36Julie, they're cold as mackerel.
21:39Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
21:41And...
21:42Amen.
21:44We sure weren't married long, Cleo.
21:46Well, at least ways.
21:47Now we can tell folks we're widows.
21:49Come on, Buck.
21:52Let's get the shovels.
21:54No, no.
21:55It's all my fault.
21:56We'll take them to the nearest town and see if they get a fitting burial.
22:19Don't mourn, brothers and sisters.
22:30Wherever they are, they're thinking of us.
22:34We'll take them to the nearest town and see if they get a little sleep, please.
22:49We don't.
22:53I don't.
22:53I don't.
22:54I don't.
22:55I don't.
22:56That, that, that, that, that, that's me.
22:58You shut up.
22:59Huh?
22:59What?
22:59You get a little sleep, please.
23:01What?
23:02Well, you keep out on I don't, I don't, you know.
23:05Oh, I was having the most terrible dream.
23:07My dream was being married to Cleo and she kept saying, I do, I do.
23:10And I kept saying, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.
23:40I don't.
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