- 5 months ago
Holiday Engagement
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Us, Hillary.
00:02I don't think we're gonna work.
00:04What?
00:06Look, I need a partner in life.
00:09A wife who's going to go where I need to go and do what I need to do and be excited about my accomplishments.
00:14I can't get dragged down by somebody who's out saving dogs and cats.
00:17God knows what else.
00:19Jason, is this about moving to Pittsburgh? I'll move to Pittsburgh.
00:26A new VP position opened up in our Pittsburgh office, and I guarantee I am the top pick for this position.
00:32We have a life here.
00:34What am I gonna do with Pittsburgh?
00:38Look, I just, I have to stay focused and mobile to advance in my career.
00:42I gotta keep my priorities straight.
00:44Believe me, this is one of those tough decisions, but it's for the best.
00:48For both of us. I just, I can't make a mistake.
00:51Not now.
00:56What did I become a mistake?
01:03Just...
01:05I have to get this. Just, just, just...
01:07Go for change.
01:10No, no, no, that is exactly how you...
01:14He's a jerk. I knew he was too good to be true.
01:17Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I let him keep one foot out the door.
01:20Alright, it's time to pick the winner for this week's KJWM Weekly Holiday Vacation Giveaway.
01:25And the lucky winner is...
01:27Hillary Burns!
01:28Oh my God, you won!
01:29We are finally in the running for a trip to Mexico. It could be our honeymoon!
01:34What?
01:35All of my sisters found perfect men, and I can't even get one in the door.
01:41Is that it?
01:42Is that what would make you happy right now, to bring home a man for Thanksgiving?
01:46I just can't go home all alone. I just can't face it. I can't do it. Not now.
01:50Okay. Look, all you have to do, just post this with a flirty little intro video of your pretty face, and voila.
01:58All you have to do is click.
02:00I'll help you do the video.
02:02You really think it's a good idea to bring a stranger home, or possibly a psycho to my parents' house for Thanksgiving?
02:09Hillary, I just wanted you to know I planned a small family gathering at the house for when you and Jason arrive.
02:17Do it.
02:18What?
02:19Of course, if he preferred white.
02:22Hi.
02:23Hi.
02:24Hi.
02:25Hi. My name is Hillary.
02:27I need to hire a fake fiancé to bring home to my family for Thanksgiving.
02:32In return, you will receive two free first class tickets to Playa del Carmen, Mexico.
02:37So just record a quick video intro, post it to this page, and we'll get back to you.
02:46Whoa!
02:47What? Who is it? Come in.
02:48I can't believe it.
02:49Look at all of these.
02:50All right.
02:51Mexico has got some sweetest waves, man.
02:52I mean, after the weekend's over here, we can just serve, sun, serve, eat, serve, and then serve some more.
02:54I do have irritable bowel syndrome.
02:55I really need to get to Mexico.
02:59Oh.
03:00Oh.
03:01Oh.
03:02Oh.
03:03Oh.
03:04Oh.
03:05Oh.
03:06Oh.
03:07Oh.
03:08Oh.
03:09Oh.
03:10Oh.
03:11Oh.
03:12Oh.
03:13Oh.
03:14Oh.
03:15Oh.
03:16Oh.
03:17Oh.
03:18Oh.
03:19Oh.
03:20Oh.
03:21Oh.
03:22Oh.
03:23Oh.
03:24Oh.
03:25Oh.
03:26Oh.
03:27Oh.
03:28Oh.
03:29Oh.
03:30Oh.
03:31Oh.
03:32Oh.
03:33Oh.
03:34Oh.
03:35Oh.
03:36Oh.
03:37Oh.
03:38Oh.
03:39Oh.
03:40Oh.
03:41Hello.
03:42Hi, is everything okay over there?
03:44Depending on what you mean by okay, everything's great.
03:47Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?
03:49Oh, okay.
03:50My name is David.
03:51I'm an actor.
03:52Hey, wait, I know you.
03:54Hey, wait, I know you.
03:56You're the cell phone guy in the costume.
04:00That's just sad.
04:01He's our first interview.
04:03Come on, let's go.
04:04Hi, excuse me.
04:06I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
04:09Hi, I said acting is my full-time job, and today I'm playing a large cell phone.
04:14Oh, crap.
04:15I knew it.
04:16Come on, we gotta go back to Seattle.
04:17That's right.
04:18And you're the reporter?
04:20Yeah.
04:21I was sorry to hear about the newspaper shutting down.
04:24Did you lose your job, or...?
04:25What do you think?
04:26Right, sorry.
04:28Obvious.
04:29For what it's worth, I got fired playing a big red cell phone, so...
04:34Oh, I'm sorry.
04:36Don't be.
04:37You should help me save my very last shred of dignity.
04:39I mean, if I can't book a job playing a fake fiance for a weekend, I should probably call
04:44it quits.
04:45Are you free to meet Hillary tomorrow, face to face?
04:48Sure thing.
04:49Hey.
04:50Okay, so, I Facebooked him, he hasn't responded, and when you Google him, the only thing that
04:57comes up are a few photos of him on Flickr with some chick named Lindsay on a beach.
05:02So, looks like he's not a psycho.
05:04He's just another out-of-work loser actor.
05:06You sound like my agent.
05:07Oh.
05:08Hi.
05:09Hi.
05:10Um, you two have fun.
05:12Great.
05:15Hi.
05:18So, I checked out?
05:20Yeah, seems like it.
05:21Do you think that Jason is more of a corporate lawyer type?
05:25Corporate.
05:26What kind of car do you drive?
05:27Uh, 98, Jeep Grand Cherokee, fully loaded.
05:30We'll take my car.
05:31Okay.
05:32Okay, I'm gonna friend you on Facebook, accept my request, click on all my family photo albums,
05:36memorize all the names, everybody's clearly marked.
05:38Okay, will do.
05:39Okay.
05:40Well, I guess I'll pick you up here, tomorrow, 8 a.m. sharp.
05:45Sounds good.
05:47Okay.
05:52Um.
05:56Sorry, I don't know what's going on here with the thing, the hair.
06:00I'll take care of it.
06:01Yeah?
06:02Okay, good.
06:03I guess I'm gonna buy your coffee.
06:20You clean up real good.
06:23You look nice yourself.
06:26And don't forget, my parents are very excited that you are a lawyer.
06:30About that, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to pull that off.
06:34You're an actor.
06:36Act.
06:41Okay, hit me with the family breakdown.
06:43Okay.
06:44Uh, Meredith.
06:45Mother, housewife extraordinaire.
06:47Roy, dad, councilman.
06:49Uh, your youngest sister is Trish.
06:51Joy.
06:52Right, right.
06:53Trish is the middle one.
06:54And, uh, her husband is Gil.
06:55And Joy's fiance's name is?
06:57Uh, John.
06:58Paul.
06:59Peter.
07:00You gotta get these straight.
07:01They're all gonna be at the party.
07:02Party?
07:03Yeah.
07:04It's no big deal.
07:05Just family.
07:06How long were you and Jason engaged?
07:07Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:08We were engaged for two.
07:10Wow.
07:11What happened?
07:14He's, uh, he's under a lot of pressure.
07:16Really stressed.
07:17He got this big job promotion offer in Pittsburgh.
07:19So.
07:20Oh, look.
07:21Here we are.
07:22Okay.
07:23Just remember, say as little as possible and follow my lead.
07:27Okay.
07:28Here we go.
07:29Here we go.
07:30Oh, honey, honey, honey.
07:31You're finally here.
07:32Oh, sweetie.
07:33Come here.
07:34Oh.
07:35Oh, honey, honey, honey.
07:36You're finally here.
07:37Oh, sweetie.
07:38Come here.
07:39Oh.
07:44You know you could wash that car every once in a while.
07:46What about Jason's Tesla?
07:48I wanted a ride in there.
07:49Oh, that was my fault.
07:50I wanted to save my mileage, so we took the Jetta instead.
07:54Oh, well.
07:55At least we finally get to meet Jason.
07:58Oh.
07:59Oh.
08:00You're practically part of the family now.
08:03Yeah.
08:04Okay, well, let's go in.
08:05Okay.
08:06Everybody's looking forward to meeting you.
08:08Okay, come on in here.
08:11Oh, my God.
08:13I thought you said this was family only.
08:16I didn't want the whole town to think that you were going to be a spinster forever.
08:21Everyone, this is Hillary's fiance, Jason.
08:25Hi.
08:26Hi.
08:27How's it going?
08:28Oh, hey.
08:29Oh, yeah.
08:30Oh, Jason?
08:31Yeah.
08:32You were that firm that's defending that schmuck, Shorman.
08:35Shorman?
08:36Yeah, man.
08:37He's as guilty as they come if you ask me.
08:39Pilking all those suckers out of their life savings.
08:41You know, Frank, I think everybody's considered innocent until proven guilty.
08:44I mean, isn't I right, Mr. Jason?
08:47Jason?
08:48Yeah.
08:49Mr. Burns.
08:50Call me Roy.
08:51Yes.
08:52Pleasure to meet you, Roy.
08:53You know what they say?
08:54How does it feel to be defending a crook like that?
08:57Well, I...
08:58You know what?
08:59Frank?
09:00Why don't you get yourself some eggnog?
09:01I just whipped up a fresh batch.
09:02Oh, that's a good time.
09:03Thanks, man.
09:04Frank just comes for the eggnog.
09:05Yeah.
09:06So listen, uh, what kind of cases do you do?
09:08Do you do, um, I don't know, fraud or extortion or money laundering?
09:12Uh, yeah.
09:13Yeah, I do all of those.
09:15Come on, Dad.
09:16Leave poor Jason alone.
09:17He's spent enough time in the office already.
09:19Yeah, give me all that lawyering.
09:21Do you play?
09:23Uh, yes, but quite badly.
09:25No.
09:26Oh, you're great.
09:27That...
09:28Mind if I don't?
09:31You know, when Hillary was young, she used to sing.
09:35Oh?
09:36Mm-hmm.
09:37No.
09:38Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
09:46Okay, everybody, it's time to show the engagement ring.
09:50Wait till you see this beauty.
09:53Ta-da!
09:54So...
09:57I, I, I, I...
10:00I, I, I, I...
10:01I, I, I...
10:02I...
10:03I went up in the ring.
10:04I went up in the ring.
10:05That's a funny story, actually, right?
10:07Sweetie, it turns out Hillary lost a few pounds,
10:10and the ring doesn't fit her anymore.
10:12Right.
10:13And this morning, she's taking a shower, she gets out of the shower,
10:15and the ring falls off her finger into the toilet.
10:18She calls me hysteric.
10:19Crazy.
10:20I was crazy.
10:21Crazy.
10:22She was freaking out.
10:23I get there.
10:24So, what do I do?
10:25I've got to man up, right, Roy?
10:26Yeah.
10:27I've got to do it.
10:28It's go time.
10:29So I get down there on my knees, and I, and I, I go in there.
10:31I go in there.
10:32I go in deep.
10:33I can feel it.
10:34I can feel it right there.
10:35It gets away, then I have to, I have to go a little bit deeper,
10:36and I'm reaching for it, and...
10:38No, deeper, deeper.
10:39Deeper.
10:40Yes, really.
10:41Small hands.
10:42It's disturbing, actually.
10:43I can feel it.
10:44I can feel it.
10:45Right on the edge of my finger.
10:46It's right there.
10:47It's right there, and...
10:48I got it.
10:49Got the ring.
10:50Got the ring.
10:51So cute.
10:52Oh, God.
10:53We decided to leave it home until we get it resized.
10:55Yeah.
10:56It's better safe than sorry.
10:57Right, sweetie?
10:58Mm-hmm.
10:59Mm-hmm.
11:00Heh heh.
11:01I'm gonna get a drink.
11:04Hey.
11:05Hell, isn't it?
11:07I thought you quit.
11:09I did.
11:11So, is my fiancé boring yours with his foot talk yet?
11:15No.
11:16But I think David's got his hands pretty full.
11:20Did I say David?
11:22Yeah.
11:23Jason.
11:24Of course.
11:25David's a friend.
11:26I was on the phone.
11:27Oh.
11:28Hey.
11:29Well, I guess we better go back in there.
11:31If Mom has anything else to surprise me with, can you please tell me?
11:34Deal.
11:36Good to see you.
11:37Oh.
11:38My sweetie.
11:39Look at this.
11:40Your picture's taken.
11:41The family photo.
11:42Yes, we are.
11:43We're together here.
11:44Hey, everybody.
11:48Don't worry, I could show Jason his room.
11:50Well, honey, don't be silly.
11:52The inn is full.
11:53Besides, I don't expect you to have separate rooms.
11:56Just separate beds.
12:00And if you need extra pillows or blankets, just ask me.
12:05That's okay, Mom.
12:06I think I know where everything is.
12:08Okay, well, you take it tonight.
12:09I'll take it tomorrow night.
12:10Whatever you want.
12:11Okay.
12:12I'm gonna go get a change for bed.
12:14Okay.
12:23Sorry.
12:24Um...
12:25No, I'm sorry.
12:26I thought you were still in the...
12:27Pajamas, please?
12:28Uh...
12:29No, I don't, uh...
12:30I don't wear...
12:31pajamas.
12:32I didn't bring it.
12:33Okay, that's fine.
12:34I'll just find...
12:35See if my dad has some...
12:36Great.
12:37Daddy.
12:38Daddy.
12:39Daddy.
12:40I plead not guilty.
12:41Sorry?
12:42What?
12:43Sorry?
12:44I came to ask you if Jason could borrow some pajamas.
12:46Oh, I don't have any.
12:47Your mother and I sleep in the wrong.
12:48Ugh.
12:49Since when?
12:50Oh, since Joy went off to college.
12:51Been crying around naked for a week.
12:52You should have seen your mother.
12:53Oh, no, no, no.
12:54I don't hear it.
12:55This guy, uh...
12:56This Jason, he treats you right, does he?
12:57Yeah, yeah, of course.
12:58What?
12:59Do you love him?
13:00No.
13:01No.
13:02No.
13:03No.
13:04No.
13:05No.
13:06No.
13:07No.
13:08No.
13:09No.
13:10No.
13:11No.
13:12No.
13:13No.
13:14No.
13:15You love him?
13:16What?
13:17It's an easy question.
13:18Should be an easy answer.
13:19Dad, I'm marrying the guy.
13:21So?
13:22Do you love him?
13:24Yes, I do.
13:30Hey.
13:31He was right after all.
13:33All you need is love.
13:36I just wanted to let you know that I may have locked into some tickets to
14:05the last of a comment. And, um, I don't know, I thought maybe you might want to go. You know, um, call me.
14:17Good morning. Good morning, sweetheart. Where's Trish and Gil? Trish has sold the hotel. Gil hasn't shown up yet.
14:38Why are they staying at a hotel when there's plenty of room here? Well, with Emma and the nanny,
14:42maybe they felt they'd be a bother. I don't even know why Trish has a nanny. I mean, come on.
14:48I felt like she's ever had a job. But it's nice that her husband can afford to give her whatever
14:53she wants. He's just never around. How about Jason? How much does he earn? Mom. Oh, sweetie,
15:01I just want to make sure that you're cared for. Oh, come on, Mom. It is the 21st century.
15:06We don't need to be cared for. We have our own jobs. Right, Hill? Actually, the newspaper I was
15:13working for shut down. Oh, honey, not again. Well, it's not my fault. Nobody reads newspapers
15:18anymore. Everything's on the internet. I know. Well, just in time, I want you to tell me if my
15:26yam casserole is sweet enough. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not a fan. Yes, you are. You're such a joker.
15:33He's such a joker. He loves yams. Like I said, he loves yams. Okay. I made that with Splenda
15:45instead of sugar. Maybe just a little more time. He is really funny. He is. He really
15:56is. He's so funny. He's such a kidder. Well, I just hope he's more serious when it comes
16:01to setting a wedding date. Please don't start. Honey, I'm sorry if I seem a little anxious.
16:09It's just that I have been deprived of planning the weddings for not one, but two of my daughters.
16:18Here we go. Can't you girls understand that a mother wants to plan her daughter's weddings?
16:24Oh, since you were babies, I've dreamed of this. And then to find out that Tricia eloped to
16:31an island. Well, what about Joy? Joy's engaged. Yes. Joy's engaged. Yes, she is. And has
16:38been for two years. I will be six feet under by the time she sets a date.
16:43I'm sorry if I'm a little upset. But, but honey, it's come down to you. You're the only one
16:54I can count on. I'm, I'm, uh, December 21st. I'm, I'm, uh, December 21st. I didn't want
17:03to tell you. I wanted to, we were going to surprise you at dinner, but that's it. December
17:0721st. You're getting married on December 21st? Yes. Oh my God. It's kind of soon, but it's
17:15fabulous. Oh my darling girl. Oh, this is fantastic. Oh, did you hear? I'm so happy. Well, okay,
17:25I have to book see the community hall and, and call Gayle's greenery. I don't even know
17:29the number. We wanted something small.
17:37What are they doing out there? Well, your father got it in his head that he was going
17:46to deep fry the turkey this year. Once we get this baby boiling, you just rig the bird
17:52up to this line, just drop it in the oil, huh? Whatever you say. All right, let's fire
17:56this bad boy up. All right. Get that, would you? Yeah. Let me ask you something. Uh-huh.
18:00You ever, uh, represent a councilman or a politician or anything? No, not personally. But you could,
18:06huh? Sure. Good to know. Good to know. Uh, wait, don't you want to wait until the oil
18:13eat top? Come on, we're missing the gate. It's not going to take half an hour for it to get
18:17boiling. Come on. Oh, God. Okay. So, it's me. No, things are not going well at all. I
18:24just told my mom that David and I are getting married in a month. You're marrying David now?
18:28That was quick. No, no, no. Me and Jason. I just, I blurted it out that we're getting
18:32married on December 21st. Wait, what? This is nuts. We're putting you on speaker.
18:36Well, no, because what if Jason really did get cold feet and he's going to come back
18:40to me because I mean more than, more than Pittsburgh. And then the wedding is already planned, which
18:44is, which is actually not that crazy. No, it's crazy, Hill. It's super crazy. I know.
18:50That's crazy. What am I going to do? Look, I don't know. Surf's up. Greg's going to be here
18:5530 minutes. I got to go. What? Yeah, just listen to your heart. Just ride the wave. Just ride
19:02the wave. What? I don't know. Sophie. Sophie. You know, Roy, I think it's probably been 30
19:12minutes. Should we go check on the pot? Do you know, I could use a little, you know, legal
19:18counsel. Oh, well, you're a councilman, right? I'm sure you have a great lawyer.
19:24Peter, he's a little too involved. You know what I mean? Anyway, what would be better
19:31than keeping it in a family? Hmm. All right, well, I guess I better go. Drop that bird
19:36in the aisle. Oh, uh, are you sure you don't need a hand with that? No, no, I got it, Kirk.
19:42Uh, ticklish. Hi. It's beeping. Thank you. Um, Peter, can I have my foot back?
19:54Manly. Oh, of course. Thank you. You're welcome.
19:58Okay.
20:01Oh, look at the replay right there. The quarterback faked him out.
20:13Anything important?
20:14What? Oh, no. No, nothing important.
20:24Oh. Oh.
20:24Oh.
20:38Oh. Oh.
20:39Roy? Oh. For the love of...
20:50Well, this isn't so bad.
20:56Oh, um, I asked for seltzer. This looks like tap water with cheese floating in it.
21:04Sorry, Mrs. Burns.
21:07I can see that your old boyfriend hasn't amounted to much.
21:12Hi.
21:12Hi.
21:13Sorry we're late.
21:14Hey.
21:14Hi.
21:15Where's Gil?
21:16Uh, the benefit that he was attending ran late, so now he snowed in. In New York.
21:23Well, that's too bad.
21:24I know. If he were here, he could have gotten us a table at the golf club. Then we wouldn't
21:28have to eat in this dump.
21:29Hey, it's not snowing in New York.
21:32Hmm.
21:34You know, Gilbert has a platinum membership to all the best clubs.
21:36Well, I'm not a big golf fan, so this place suits me just fine.
21:42This is fine. This is great. I...
21:46No?
21:49I thought you said that you met Jason at a charity golf tournament.
21:54That you were covering for that paper?
21:56That's right. Yeah. But I'm not a fan of the golf. But, you know, like a spectator.
22:04But I just play.
22:04But very, very badly.
22:05Very, very badly. That's why they gave you a car.
22:09Yeah.
22:10A Tesla, right?
22:11Yes.
22:12He won the car at the tournament.
22:13And then you interviewed the winner.
22:15Look at me.
22:16He forgets everything. Right, honey?
22:18Crazy.
22:18Yeah.
22:19I think you're sandbagging, aren't you?
22:21No.
22:21I know an alpha.
22:22Sand.
22:22I see my...
22:22Oh, thank God.
22:24My name is Paco, and I'll be your server this holiday evening.
22:27Would you like to hear about our specials?
22:29Ah, seguro.
22:31Okay, well, basically what we have is anything that's chicken, pollo, we switch that out for guajolote.
22:39Guajolote?
22:42Guajolote.
22:42That means turkey.
22:44And that turkey tacos are particularly delicious tonight.
22:48David?
22:49Yes?
22:51Hey!
22:52It's Julian!
22:53Hi, Julian!
22:54Hey!
22:55Hey there!
22:55Hi there!
22:57But my name is Jason.
22:59Jason?
23:00Jason is my name.
23:01No, it's not.
23:02Really?
23:03Yeah, it's Jason.
23:04But my...
23:05David is my middle name, so there's confusion sometimes.
23:09Oh, okay.
23:10Alrighty.
23:11Well, I mean, it's been a while since we did that bus and truck tour pair together.
23:16Oh, God, you look good.
23:17Are you still in the biz?
23:18Yes.
23:20So, what are you doing?
23:21Oh, you're looking at it.
23:22It's a nightmare, yeah.
23:23I had to move back in with my parents to get a more stable career going on.
23:26So, here I am.
23:27All right, I hear you.
23:29Gracias.
23:30De nada.
23:30I'll be there.
23:31It never stops.
23:32Anyway, I'll be back in a minute to get your orders.
23:35Just word to the wise, don't get the huevos rancheros.
23:38I had them for breakfast.
23:38I feel like there's a knife in my colon.
23:40Happy Turkey Day, everyone.
23:41Olé!
23:42Hey!
23:47Julian.
23:49So, Jason, David, what biz are you still in?
23:54Oh, I'm in the law.
23:56I do a little pro bono work.
24:01I'm charity.
24:04And I represented a few theater companies a few years back.
24:09So, theater people are so...
24:11I'm crazy.
24:13I do some salsa.
24:16He's a giver.
24:17Mmm.
24:20How could you forget?
24:21We went over that at least a half a dozen times.
24:23I've never played golf before.
24:25It's not a part of my repertoire.
24:26And what was all that with the crazy waiter in the diner?
24:28We were in a production of hair eight years ago.
24:30How was I supposed to know we'd end up in...
24:32Where are we, anyway?
24:33Is everything okay?
24:35As we were just talking about the mix-up of the diner.
24:39Oh, what mix-up?
24:41Well, I'm pooped.
24:42Oh, I'm pooped, too.
24:44It's not every day that we blow up a turkey around here.
24:46You know, dinner was actually kind of fun, and the Mexican food wasn't half bad.
24:51Oh, it was good.
24:52Not as good as your turkey dinner would have been.
24:54It wasn't even close.
24:57You know, if Hillary doesn't take me to the curb, maybe I'll be lucky enough to try it next time.
25:01Well, you know, I didn't want to deep-fry that turkey in the first place, but when Roy gets an idea stuck in his head, we've got stuffing, three pies, and my yam casserole, which is always better on the second day anyway.
25:17That is so true.
25:19You know, it's getting late.
25:21So you go to bed, get a good night's sleep, and we'll see you in the morning, okay?
25:26Good night.
25:27Your turn to sleep on the cot.
25:32I'm sorry.
25:36No.
25:37No, it was me.
25:40I dropped the ball.
25:42I just, I don't know why you're doing this.
25:44I mean, I know you want the tickets, but there's got to be an easier way to get to Mexico.
25:50Playa del Carmen.
25:54It's where I met my girlfriend.
25:55Or, rather, my ex-girlfriend.
25:59I guess I thought that if I took her back to the resort where we met, and, I don't know, it might read Night the Spark or something.
26:09But I didn't have enough money for the ticket, so...
26:12Well, I'm sure it'll work.
26:13I hope so.
26:17I mean, she's kind of dating this other guy right now.
26:23But who does she call every time they break up?
26:26Me.
26:27So, obviously, she, deep down, she really doesn't want to be with him.
26:33Oh.
26:34So you're the get-back guy.
26:36What?
26:38What, man?
26:41The get-back guy?
26:43You know, the guy she calls to get back at her ex.
26:46No, I'm not that guy.
26:47He's that guy.
26:48Well, when you met her, was she seeing him?
26:49No, they just broken up.
26:51See?
26:53No, no, no.
26:54It's not like that.
26:55No, they broke up.
26:56Uh-huh.
26:56And then we met.
26:58And then we were, you know, together.
27:01Like a couple.
27:02For how long?
27:03Uh, four, maybe, five weeks.
27:09And then she went back to him?
27:11Yeah, but she keeps calling me.
27:13Uh, all right, it may look like I'm the get-back guy,
27:17but I know that all she needs to do is get away from that hold he has on her,
27:24and then she can realize that what she really wants is me.
27:29Okay.
27:31Trust me.
27:32I know.
27:33She's materialistic and sentimental.
27:36So this could work.
27:38Maybe.
27:39I mean, the ticket.
27:43Are you hungry?
27:47You know, I was bummed when the post closed down.
27:50That was my Sunday morning read.
27:51I love that funky rag.
27:52I know.
27:54The end of an era.
27:55So are you going to find another gay reporting or something?
27:58I don't know.
27:59I mean, the only reason why I got that job was because my friend Sophie worked there,
28:02and I needed it, and I thought I'm very good at it.
28:05You wrote that article a few weeks back about the animal shelter, right?
28:10Yeah, that was me.
28:11Well, you must have some talent.
28:13I mean, it's thanks to you that I am now the proud owner of the same dog you were hugging in that photo.
28:18You rescued Skittles from the animal shelter because of what I wrote?
28:21Yeah, only his name's Whiskey now.
28:25Yeah, I'm going to miss the post.
28:28I mean, I get all the news I can handle online, but I want to hold something, you know?
28:34Not just my laptop, but an actual newspaper.
28:37Yeah, I love print.
28:38Who says print is dead?
28:39Let's start a revolution.
28:40Be the print.
28:43Nice.
28:45What about you?
28:46This and that cell phone gig are the only paying jobs I've had in a while.
28:50Hmm.
28:53Uh, look at the pair of us.
28:54Jumped, unemployed, and eating sugar and carbs at midnight.
28:57Right.
28:58Oh.
29:02Who is it?
29:06I don't know.
29:07We should take this upstairs.
29:10Great idea.
29:11Only two more days to go.
29:13Free Lilo.
29:14Just go with it.
29:16I think we can totally get through this.
29:18No, let's not pressure Lilo.
29:20Let's get out of here and go sightseeing or something.
29:22I'm fine.
29:28Wow.
29:29No.
29:30Oh, sorry.
29:31Oh, you startled me.
29:33It's beautiful.
29:35Oh, well, it will be.
29:37You do this all yourself?
29:38Every year.
29:39Um, can I help you at all?
29:41No.
29:42Oh.
29:44I'm sorry.
29:47Uh, okay.
29:49There is a wreath over there that I had designed for the mantle.
29:53Yes.
29:54Here?
29:54Pick it up very carefully, and it belongs right on the mantle in the center.
29:59Okay?
30:00Watch yourself on that ladder.
30:01Oh, I got it.
30:04Thank you, Jason.
30:06Don't worry about it.
30:08It's a little crooked.
30:10There.
30:11No, I mean, thank you for Thanksgiving and for being such a good sport today.
30:18And thank you for loving my daughter.
30:23She loves you very much, you know.
30:31I can see it in her face.
30:34Well, I love her, too, Mrs. Burns.
30:41Oh, call me Meredith.
30:43Please.
30:44Or, or Mom, if you like.
30:47Listen, uh, can I give you a hand with anything else, or?
30:55After 20-some years, I've got it down to a science.
30:59All right.
31:01I'll, um, head up to bed now.
31:06Good night, Jason.
31:07Good night.
31:16Good night, Mom.
31:28Hey, Hillary.
31:30Yeah.
31:31You seen this?
31:32Oh, yeah.
31:33My mom does this every year after Thanksgiving.
31:35It's her tradition.
31:36When we were little, we used to think it was elves or something.
31:45Just the two I was looking for.
31:53I know you're only here for a few more days,
31:55but we have to find the perfect wedding dress
31:58and pick the china and the linens and the cake.
32:03Oh, I think you should go, hon.
32:05I mean, go with it.
32:07Isn't that what brides are supposed to do?
32:09Go dress shopping with their mothers?
32:10Yes, of course.
32:12Yeah.
32:12But you really think it's a good idea
32:14to go shopping on Black Friday?
32:16Let's go shopping!
32:18Let's go shopping!
32:19Yay!
32:20Come on, look.
32:32Oh, it's beautiful.
32:35Dum-dum-dum-dum.
32:37Here, hold my purse.
32:39Thanks.
32:40Here.
32:41Here.
32:42Okay.
32:43Thanks.
32:43Are you almost ready?
32:50Oh!
32:51Oh!
32:52Oh!
32:53Hillary, it looks beautiful.
32:56Yeah?
32:56Oh, honey, you look beautiful.
32:57Beautiful.
32:58Pretty.
32:59Thank you very much.
33:02Oh, darling, I love you.
33:04Yeah?
33:04Yeah.
33:05Yeah.
33:05Oh!
33:05So what's going on with you and Jason?
33:12Nothing.
33:13My point exactly.
33:15We're two young lovebirds.
33:17I don't see much affection.
33:21No kiss, no hug.
33:22Mom, he's just not a touchy-feely guy.
33:24Don't worry about it.
33:25Well, I just want to be able to see
33:26your marriage succeed, you know.
33:30Most marriages fall apart first
33:32in the bedroom.
33:34You know, your father and I
33:36make love three times a week.
33:38Ah!
33:38My ears are bleeding.
33:39Jason's a good catch.
33:42A little odd and nervous, I guess,
33:44but I like him.
33:47He's good for you.
33:54Pretty.
33:55Oh!
33:57Pretty.
33:58Oh!
33:59Is she getting married?
34:00Well, yes, of course.
34:01I'm not.
34:02Oh.
34:02My therapist says that I should
34:05visualize what I want
34:06and it will manifest itself.
34:07Well, that sounds like, um,
34:09a very good strategy.
34:12I want that dress.
34:13I'll take it.
34:16That's beautiful.
34:18Nice.
34:19Oh!
34:19Oh, ma'am.
34:20Ma'am, that is my fiancé's dress.
34:22I saw it first and it's mine.
34:24Okay, can I have you, please?
34:25No.
34:25Look, of your way!
34:26Pretty!
34:27Oh, my God.
34:31Who dressed my bride?
34:38Just between you and I,
34:39how would you advise a client to proceed
34:41if it was discovered that, let's say,
34:43he was getting money for selling, I don't know,
34:46boats?
34:47I would probably advise that person
34:48to stop talking about it
34:50and definitely not.
34:51Tell me the honor, kid.
34:52Hey, there's no one.
34:53Gotcha.
34:54Gotcha.
34:56Hey, so what do you like better,
34:57cups or mugs?
34:58I don't know.
34:59I think we get better
35:00when you set a mug.
35:01What do you think?
35:01Table setting for eight or 12?
35:04Hillary, can I talk you outside for a minute?
35:05Yeah.
35:06Okay.
35:06You do realize
35:12that we're not actually getting married, right?
35:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:18Yeah.
35:19But what if Jason actually did get cold feet?
35:21I mean, a lot of people think
35:23they want to move to Pittsburgh
35:24and then they change their mind.
35:26Hey, look sharp, kid.
35:28There is someone here to see you.
35:29Oh, Father Macy,
35:37what are you doing here?
35:38Well, sweetie,
35:39your wedding is in less than a month.
35:40You really should have met
35:41with Father Macy weeks ago,
35:43so I invited him over.
35:45Oh, hi.
35:46Oh.
35:48Hello, I'm Father Macy.
35:49Hi, Father.
35:51Jason.
35:52So, is there somewhere
35:53we could go and talk?
35:55Well, it's a beautiful day.
35:56Why don't you take a walk?
35:57Perfect.
35:58So, Jason,
35:59you're going to marry Hillary.
36:02That's what they keep telling me.
36:03I would like to make sure
36:04that you're both headed
36:05on the same path,
36:07that you share the same ideals
36:08and beliefs,
36:09for if not,
36:09the marriage could suffer.
36:12So, Jason,
36:13tell me,
36:14which church were you raised in?
36:16Well, I didn't actually go to church.
36:20No worries.
36:20Are you Roman Catholic?
36:22No.
36:23Protestant?
36:24Mm-hmm.
36:24LDS?
36:25Jewish.
36:27Jewish.
36:29Well,
36:30I see.
36:32I'm sure you understand,
36:33then,
36:33that I would not be able
36:34to perform on the ceremony.
36:35No, we talked about this,
36:37and Jason has no problem
36:37with converting.
36:39Actually, I...
36:40Oh,
36:41I have a wonderful idea.
36:43We could have Jason baptized
36:44at the same time as Emma.
36:46Oh, I don't...
36:47No, Trish,
36:47I don't...
36:48Yeah, that could...
36:50Wow.
36:51Oh, no way.
36:52No way I'm getting baptized.
36:53Come on.
36:54It's just a formality.
36:55It's not that big a deal.
36:56I'm Jewish.
36:57You're not that Jewish.
36:59What are you even talking about?
37:00My...
37:00My grandma,
37:01Turtletop,
37:02would roll in her grave
37:03if she knew I was doing this.
37:04My mom would be so disappointed
37:05if we don't have a wedding
37:06at her church.
37:07What wedding, Hillary?
37:09We're not really getting married.
37:10Quiet.
37:11Shh.
37:11Oh.
37:12Oh, my God.
37:15I'm so sorry.
37:18This is so stupid.
37:20You're right.
37:21This is so stupid.
37:22What am I doing?
37:22This is so stupid.
37:24I mean,
37:25here I am
37:26trying to do everything
37:27to make my mother happy.
37:28And for what?
37:29To set her up
37:30for my greatest disappointment ever.
37:32That's so foolish
37:33to think Jason
37:34is actually coming back.
37:35He's not coming back.
37:36I mean,
37:36he's in Pittsburgh.
37:37He's happy to be rid of me.
37:42Here.
37:49Just give the voucher numbers
37:50to the airline
37:51for your tickets.
37:55Take them.
37:57You earn them.
37:58But the...
38:00The weekend's
38:00not even over yet.
38:02Please.
38:03I couldn't expect you to stay
38:04when the crap hits the fan.
38:06I mean,
38:07God knows you've been
38:07thrown up already.
38:09I don't know.
38:10Yeah.
38:12So, uh...
38:13This is it.
38:14Engagement's off?
38:16Yes.
38:17Yeah.
38:18Engagement's off.
38:24Um...
38:24Is there a train
38:28or something
38:28I should catch?
38:30Yeah.
38:32Um...
38:32You missed the 5.30,
38:33but I think
38:33there's an 11.30.
38:36One...
38:36That's...
38:37That's better.
38:38I should probably
38:38wait to leave
38:39until after everyone's
38:40gone to bed.
38:40So...
38:42Thanks.
38:43Sure.
38:43Sure.
38:56Well,
38:57that was, uh,
38:58fun.
38:59Right?
38:59Yeah.
39:01Good luck with, uh,
39:03everything.
39:04I hope you find
39:05the spark in Mexico.
39:08Thanks.
39:08Uh...
39:09There, he says.
39:38I'll call you tomorrow.
39:40I'll call you tomorrow.
39:43Joy, is that the waiter
39:44from the diner?
39:45Yeah.
39:46Stu and I dated
39:47for a couple months
39:47before Mom set me up
39:49with the foot man.
39:50She thought Stu
39:51wasn't good enough,
39:52so...
39:53She worked her magic,
39:54and the next thing I knew,
39:56Stu was out of the picture,
39:58and I was engaged
39:59to Pete the podiatrist.
40:01Is that why you haven't
40:02set a date?
40:02Don't get me wrong.
40:06Pete's a good man.
40:08A little weird,
40:09but good guy.
40:12I just don't love him.
40:16Not like I love Stu.
40:18What's really going on
40:20with you and Jason?
40:22Jason dumped me
40:23a week ago,
40:24so I hired
40:27an actor named David
40:28to play
40:29my fiancé
40:30for the weekend.
40:33You what?
40:35Wait.
40:36Wait.
40:38Okay,
40:38so
40:39where did
40:40Jason or
40:41David
40:42go?
40:43Left.
40:43Just...
40:45I don't know.
40:49You just left.
40:50It's...
40:50I don't know.
40:52Oh, wow.
40:55But...
40:55You like him.
40:57David,
40:57you like David.
40:58I...
40:58What?
40:59I don't like David.
41:00I don't even know David.
41:01It's crazy.
41:02I like David.
41:04Okay,
41:04yes.
41:05There's something
41:06I have to tell you
41:06about Jason.
41:09He dumped me.
41:11I am well aware
41:12of what's going on.
41:13You are?
41:14Yes,
41:15I saw him leaving
41:15last night.
41:17Oh,
41:17that's just part of it
41:19that's not...
41:19Hilary Jean,
41:21I have to say this.
41:22Sweetheart,
41:23when are you
41:23going to get serious?
41:25You are not
41:26a spring chicken anymore.
41:2830 is in the
41:29rearview mirror.
41:30And you have
41:31nothing to show for it.
41:33No career,
41:34no direction,
41:35and now I guess
41:35no Jason.
41:36Guess again?
41:38I found him
41:39sitting in his car.
41:39I thought I'd invite him in.
41:42Long story,
41:43Tyler.
41:43They're still on.
41:44They're still on.
41:46Just so everyone
41:47knows,
41:48for the record,
41:48none of this
41:49is Hilary's fault.
41:50Oh, no.
41:51Okay.
41:52So,
41:52don't you two
41:53get a kiss
41:54and make up?
41:56Go on.
41:57Go on.
41:59Okay.
41:59Should I call
42:19Father Macy?
42:19I don't know.
42:21I don't know.
42:23No, no,
42:24that's fine.
42:24Call him.
42:25Call him.
42:26Call him.
42:27I got it.
42:29I should go unpack.
42:34Told ya.
42:44Hey,
42:46we had a deal,
42:46right?
42:49So,
42:49is your,
42:49is your
42:50ex or whatever,
42:51is she going to Mexico?
42:53Yep.
42:54Well,
42:54that's nice.
42:55You guys should have
42:55a good time.
42:57I don't know about me,
42:59but I'm sure she and Peggy
43:00will have a great time.
43:01What do you mean?
43:04She thought I was
43:05giving her the tickets.
43:06Oh,
43:07ow.
43:08She was just using me.
43:09It's the story of my life.
43:11Always the get-back guy,
43:12never just the guy.
43:13You know,
43:14don't give her those tickets.
43:19Hi,
43:19Liz.
43:20So,
43:21do the tickets?
43:23Yeah,
43:23about that.
43:24Um,
43:24you know,
43:25when I told you
43:25about these tickets,
43:26I was kind of hoping
43:27that you and I
43:27would go and have
43:29a really nice day.
43:29Wait till Matt
43:30finds out that
43:31I'm going to Mexico.
43:33Right.
43:33Can we not
43:34talk about Matt,
43:35maybe?
43:35Oh,
43:36my God,
43:36he's gonna be so pissed.
43:38Sweetie,
43:39hi.
43:40Hi.
43:41Oh,
43:41I'm so sorry,
43:42Emily.
43:43I had to meet
43:43the caterers
43:44and I had
43:45another dress fitting.
43:47I'm sorry,
43:48and you are,
43:49you are,
43:51Lindsay.
43:53Lindsay?
43:56Lindsay,
43:57David told me
43:57all about you
43:58and Playa del Carmen.
43:59God,
43:59I guess I'm lucky
44:00he's not into
44:01party girls,
44:01huh?
44:02Did you send her
44:03an invite to our wedding?
44:05Wedding?
44:06You didn't send her
44:07an invite?
44:08It happened so fast,
44:09though.
44:10That's right.
44:11It was just boom,
44:12like that.
44:13Love at first sight.
44:14Isn't that right,
44:15too?
44:17Thank you,
44:18but can I just
44:18have the tickets,
44:19please?
44:21David,
44:22that's actually
44:23why I'm here.
44:24I have to admit,
44:24when he first told me
44:25about your thing
44:26in Mexico,
44:27I was jealous.
44:28I was.
44:29In the heat of the moment,
44:30I told him to give
44:31the vouchers away,
44:32right?
44:32Because it's not like
44:33we're going to have
44:33a honeymoon
44:33where he met
44:34some girl.
44:35But then,
44:36I woke up this morning
44:37and I was like,
44:39no.
44:40You know what?
44:40The past is the past.
44:41The heck with it.
44:42I mean,
44:43he's marrying me,
44:43not you.
44:44So I went online,
44:45I traded in the vouchers,
44:46and surprise!
44:48Honeymoon in Playa del Carmen!
44:49You didn't!
44:49I did!
44:50Oh, come here.
44:54Bye, Lindy.
44:55Bye, Lindy.
45:25Singing on the plains
45:29Bye, Lindy.
45:37Bye ya!
45:41In excelsis Deo
45:47Oh, that was wonderful.
46:02Honey, I haven't heard you sing for so long.
46:05And the two of you together, just beautiful.
46:08Just beautiful.
46:15Jason.
46:17What are you doing here?
46:23I wanted to see you.
46:25Who is it, honey?
46:28Oh.
46:30Mom, Dad.
46:33Everybody.
46:36This is Jason.
46:38Happy holidays, everybody.
46:39Mom, Mom, I'm sorry.
46:48I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't want to disappoint you.
46:50So you bring a total stranger into my house.
46:52I would never, ever have believed that you would be capable of doing something so despicable.
46:58What were you thinking?
46:59Peter and I are breaking up.
47:05Sorry, dude.
47:06Is there any chance you might still be a lawyer?
47:20No.
47:22Hillary, can we talk?
47:24I'm so sorry about David.
47:28I don't know.
47:28I think I might have lost my mind.
47:30I'm so confused.
47:31I don't know anything.
47:32I don't understand.
47:33You do?
47:35Because I don't.
47:37People do crazy things when their hearts have been broken.
47:40Besides, harboring grudges is no way for us to start our future together.
47:44Our future?
47:45Peter, you said I was a mistake.
47:49And I don't know if I want to move to Pittsburgh.
47:51There is no Pittsburgh.
47:54Sharpell gave the promotion to his idiot nephew.
47:57But none of that matters anymore.
48:00Because now we can be together.
48:14David?
48:16What are you doing?
48:17Well, actually, I was just going to go talk to Hillary.
48:19I think that's a bad idea.
48:20In fact, I'm very surprised to see that you're still here.
48:24Weren't you the one that was paid to fill Jason's shoes?
48:27And now that Jason is here,
48:29I really don't think there's any reason for you to stay.
48:33But I...
48:33Don't.
48:34Don't hurt Hillary's chances.
48:36Okay.
48:38No, no, no.
48:39You know what?
48:40You may think that Jason is the perfect son-in-law, but he's not.
48:44He walked out on Hillary.
48:47She's the one who's perfect.
48:48She's kind.
48:49And she's beautiful.
48:50And she's a gifted writer.
48:51Have you ever even read one of her articles?
48:54She can talk to this whole thing
48:56just because she's terrified of disappointing you.
49:03All she wants is to keep you happy.
49:08And Meredith,
49:08I'm sorry that I deceived you.
49:12I truly am very sorry.
49:15And it's fine if you think that Jason will make her happy.
49:18But have you ever
49:19asked Hillary what will make her happy?
49:23Have you?
49:24Kiss me.
49:42Hmm?
49:43Kiss me.
49:44I really have to get this done.
49:45Kiss me like...
49:46like the future Mrs. King.
49:47Kiss me like you love me.
49:48Hillary,
49:49I really don't think your parents asked the place for this.
49:51You two love me, right?
49:52Go for King.
49:58Bill is going to be fine.
49:59No.
50:00Gary will get him to me.
50:06I have a question.
50:08Does...
50:08Um...
50:09Jason.
50:11The real Jason,
50:12not the fake Jason.
50:13Does he have any other talents
50:15besides being a good lawyer?
50:18What do you mean?
50:20Can you rig a turkey?
50:21Maybe play a tune?
50:23Jason?
50:25I don't think so.
50:28What do you make you?
50:29Sing?
50:30Like you did earlier tonight?
50:35You know,
50:36I know it doesn't seem like it.
50:38But your mother really just wants you to be happy.
50:41Maybe it's time you
50:42told her what you want.
50:45If you know what you want.
50:47Mom.
50:48Oh, Hillary.
50:52I'm so sorry, honey.
50:55You sent all these beautiful articles,
50:57and...
50:59I'm sorry,
50:59I didn't read them.
51:01You've always been a gifted writer.
51:03And...
51:03And all of those wonderful things
51:05that David yelled at me.
51:08Do you...
51:09love...
51:11Jason?
51:12Not...
51:12Not...
51:13I mean,
51:13you know,
51:13the real Jason.
51:14Oh, I know what you mean.
51:20No.
51:24I think I hate him.
51:27Me too.
51:31Do you love David?
51:32David?
51:36I hate him.
51:37I've got to buy you a car.
52:00Thanks.
52:02I have four copies right...
52:04What?
52:06You...
52:06You sent my car?
52:08Hillary, what?
52:09Are you...
52:10Where are you going?
52:30I'll call you a cab.
52:31I'll call you a cab.
52:31Hi.
52:40How did you...
52:41I borrowed Jason's car.
52:45You and Jason?
52:46Nope.
52:48Jason is a total jerk,
52:49you're right.
52:50And a big mistake.
52:52Huge mistake.
52:55Huge mistake.
52:57Okay.
52:59You're here now.
53:00You're here.
53:03Mm-hmm.
53:07What does that make me?
53:09Not a mistake.
53:10Not a mistake.
53:30He�érence сыng.
53:30You're here.
53:34...
53:38You're here.
53:45You're here.
53:46You're here.
53:48You're here.
53:49You're here.
53:49Come on.
53:52You're here.
53:55You're here.
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