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TVTranscript
00:00This is the Fat Albert Christmas Special!
00:30The Dental
01:00Hey, Rudy, throw that straw on the stable floor, not on me.
01:12Now, let's see.
01:14Who are the wise men?
01:16Now, we gotta have stable animals.
01:19Where's the beast?
01:20Here I am!
01:22Here I am, too.
01:24Hey, Fat Albert, when does the angel come in?
01:28Right away.
01:29Get it, Rudy?
01:36Hey, you dumb angel!
01:38Let me know!
01:42No!
01:50Come on, you clowns.
01:51We gotta get back to rehearsing.
01:54Okay, Bill.
01:54You the Christmas angel.
01:56Yep.
01:57That's me.
01:59I just flew in from the hillside where I was laying this message on these shepherds.
02:04What's the message?
02:06Hey, wise men.
02:07Shh, shh, shh.
02:08Gather round.
02:10Uh, uh.
02:12Behold.
02:13Got it.
02:14Behold.
02:14Oh, I bring you wise men tidings of great joy.
02:18You know that star you've been tailgating?
02:21Well, this is the place.
02:24Shortly, a young man and his wife will come here so she can give birth to the Savior.
02:30They're here!
02:31Hold up the door!
02:31Hold up, you kids!
02:32Hold up, you kids!
02:33Hold up, you kids!
02:34Hold up, you kids!
02:35That don't sound like no savior to me.
02:38Hold up, you kids!
02:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, take my Tyrone.
02:49How many times have I told you kids you've got to tear down this clubhouse?
02:52I don't know.
02:53We thought you were keeping score.
02:56I'm very patient with you, you whippersnappers.
02:59But, Mr. Tyrone, us kids really aren't doing anything wrong.
03:04Ha!
03:04That's what you say!
03:05Every day you're here in the market value of my junkyard property goes down!
03:09Please, Mr. Tyrone, we...
03:11What are you supposed to be?
03:12Well, um, I'm the Christmas angel.
03:15Christmas angel?
03:16Yeah.
03:16We're just acting out the Christmas story.
03:19Christmas?
03:20Sentimental tummy rot!
03:21I'm having this clubhouse bulldozed to the ground!
03:24You're not out of here by tonight!
03:25Ah!
03:26Get away!
03:28Ah!
03:29Hey, hey, hey.
03:36Well, I guess that blows our show.
03:39Sudden criticism it is going to be me.
03:42I just can't believe we really got to give up all this.
03:48Oh, yeah!
03:49Oh, yeah!
03:50Oh, yeah!
03:51Come on, man, look out!
03:55Nobody here.
04:05Oh, yeah?
04:07Uh, excuse me.
04:09My name is Marshall, and, uh...
04:12How you doing, Marshall?
04:14Not so good.
04:16Me and my mom and dad, we're in an awful jam.
04:20We're from out of town, and everything's gone wrong since we got here.
04:26The job my dad was supposed to get fell through, and we got no place to stay, and my mom's gonna have a baby any time now.
04:36What's the matter, Marge?
04:37I guess it's just a false alarm.
04:41What's the matter, Marge?
04:44I...
04:44I guess it's just a false alarm.
04:47You sure?
04:47Yeah.
04:48I'm okay.
04:49Is it time for the baby to come, Dad?
04:53No, not yet, son.
04:55Would you folks like to come in out of the cold?
04:57It's only a clubhouse, but it's not too bad.
05:00Much obliged.
05:04Hey, buddy, what's the deal here?
05:07That lady's not coming in here, is she?
05:09Oh, no!
05:11You know, aren't all he-men, no woman allowed, clubhouse?
05:14Just make yourself comfortable, ma'am.
05:27Huh.
05:30Now, where's the nurse's hospital?
05:32Bill, why don't you take the man over there, okay?
05:35Okay, come on.
05:36I'll be back soon, dear.
05:40Hey, Fred Albert, what's the big idea of bringing a lady in here, man?
05:44I mean, you got no coos at all.
05:49Coos, smooth.
05:50You listen to me, flapjack.
05:52Those people are in bad trouble.
05:55Oh, my gosh.
05:56Now what?
05:57I just remembered.
05:58Hold tight while Tyrone is gonna smash the clubhouse down to the ground.
06:03You take charge till I get back.
06:05Where are you going?
06:06I gotta see a man by a bulldozer.
06:08We're gonna get some customers in here.
06:31Ah, madam.
06:32I have just the thing for you.
06:34Let go, Mom, you old turkey.
06:35Crazy old coot.
06:40The old rat.
06:42Excuse me, Mr. Tyrone.
06:44What do you want, fat Albert?
06:46It's about the clubhouse.
06:49Ah, don't bother me.
06:50That clubhouse is coming down.
06:52And that's that.
06:53But, Mr. Tyrone, please.
06:56Go away.
06:57Did you see I'm busy?
06:57Please, Mr. Tyrone, it's not just for us kids.
07:04Bah!
07:04Uh, uh, you see, there's just families in big trouble.
07:08And the father has no job and the mom is gonna have a baby.
07:11Caesar is great, sir.
07:13Would you care to contribute to the destitute lighthouse keeper's mission house?
07:19Get away from me, you old freeloader.
07:22All right.
07:23All right.
07:24But you're the only man in this old block who turned me down.
07:30You'd get a dime if you weren't wearing that moth-eating old Santa Claus suit.
07:34Just remember, you don't get nothing in this world unless you give something first.
07:40Hey, hey, hey, that's what I've been trying to say.
07:46Now, about the clubhouse.
07:48Clubhouse, eh?
07:49Is that Albert?
07:50Ahem.
07:52I've got a little deal for you.
07:54Well, it isn't really me.
07:55See, it's this family.
07:57Yes, yes, yes.
07:59Now, here's my proposition.
08:02Hey, hey, hey, step this way for Tyrone's big Christmas giveaway.
08:08Hey, keep it up, Petal.
08:11You are working wonders.
08:13Yeah, but I wonder how that poor family at the clubhouse is doing.
08:18Ah, nurse, excuse me.
08:19Oh, doctor, I...
08:20Ahem.
08:21Later.
08:21I'm very busy.
08:26Why don't we ask...
08:28Excuse me, miss.
08:31My wife is going to have a baby.
08:34Well, what's this?
08:35Fill out the form, please.
08:36Now, let me see your insurance card.
08:38I don't have any insurance.
08:40I'm sorry, but charity cases are handled at the city hospital.
08:48Here you are, Mrs. Franklin.
08:50Thank you very much.
08:54Marge, are you okay?
08:55Fine now, Ray.
08:56Where's Marshall and the other boys?
08:58Well, they went out to get some firewood and food.
09:01What about the hospital?
09:03They won't take us.
09:04We've got to go to the city hospital.
09:06But, gee, that's such a long way.
09:09Then we'd better get going.
09:11Oh!
09:12Oh!
09:13What's the matter?
09:14Oh!
09:15Oh!
09:16Ray, Ray, I just can't make it.
09:18Oh!
09:19Oh!
09:21Oh!
09:21Oh!
09:24Hey, hey, hey.
09:26It's Tyrone's big Christmas giveaway.
09:29Hey, hey, hey.
09:30Well, what do we got here?
09:33Mr. Sellout.
09:35You're working for the enemy.
09:36Seven paddles.
09:38What if the big idea is...
09:39Cool it.
09:40Now, just cool it.
09:42You dudes better get your facts straight before you mess them up.
09:45Oh!
09:46Ah, boo!
09:47I'm working out a deal with Tyrone to save our clubhouse.
09:52All I'm trying to do is get customers in the store with these free gifts.
09:56Free gifts, man!
09:57Hey, hey, hey.
09:59Get away.
10:00Hey, hey, hey.
10:01Give me that nice nice.
10:03That's all I'm trying to do.
10:04Hey, give it back.
10:06What's the meaning of this?
10:10You see, Mr. Tyrone, it's like this.
10:13I see you giving away my merchandise to your no-good hoodlum friends.
10:19But, Mr. Tyrone...
10:21You're fired!
10:22Turn in your Santa Claus suit!
10:23Your face reminds me of a cat eating lemons.
10:28Cat eating lemons?
10:30Yeah, a sourpuss!
10:32Get out!
10:33Get out!
10:34Clubhouse is coming down!
10:35Quick as I can get a bulldozer there!
10:38Give me that suit!
10:39Come on!
10:39Come on!
10:40Just a second.
10:42Mudfoot Brown, get your hands off me!
10:44Well, I've known you for a long years, and I've just got one question for you.
10:49What is it?
10:49How did you ever get to be the meanest, cheapest, onerous, skin-flintless, spitefulest, hard-hearted
10:59old goat ever-draw breath?
11:02Huh?
11:03Well, just a minute.
11:04Uh, uh, Mudfoot?
11:06Mr. Tyrone really ain't all that bad a dude.
11:09What?
11:09We talking about the same mean old coot?
11:12Well, it just could be that he acts so mean because maybe nobody's around to be nice to
11:18him since his wife died.
11:20I don't understand that kid.
11:25Of course not.
11:26Life is a matter of give and take.
11:29Fat Albert Sagira, you're a taker.
11:31What do you mean?
11:32I've got a lot to give.
11:33Yeah, one of the trouble is nobody wants to take what you've got to give.
11:37I don't have to listen to this.
11:39You're gonna listen.
11:40Ever since your wife Martha died, you've been impossible.
11:45You've been shortchanging your customers.
11:47You've been snapping at everybody.
11:49But...
11:50You've got so mean, even the bill collectors won't come near you.
11:54Now, what do you think Martha would say if she could see you now?
11:59Well, life hasn't been worth much since she's gone.
12:03No, you haven't been worth much since she's been gone.
12:07You only got one chance left, Tyrone.
12:09See you around.
12:11Wait a minute.
12:12What's my chance?
12:13What's the difference?
12:15You won't do it?
12:16I will.
12:16I will.
12:17What is it?
12:18Nah, you wouldn't do a good deed.
12:20You wouldn't know how.
12:23Good deed?
12:31Oh, man.
12:33Oh, Lee, that's Christmas.
12:35I'm losing our clubhouse.
12:36Oh, Christmas, man.
12:37Me and old Tyrone.
12:38Oh, I've never had a Christmas slut.
12:41Hey, Fred Albert.
12:43Ooh, hey.
12:44Wow, Lee.
12:45Come here.
12:45Get out of the way, man.
12:46The baby, the baby.
12:49You've got to do something.
12:50Marshall's mom is going to have a baby any second.
12:53Okay, dudes, here's the game plan.
12:56Rudy, you take them down, get Doc Mercy, bring him back to the clubhouse.
13:00Now, the rest of you dudes, come back with me to the clubhouse.
13:04I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby, and I'm going to have a baby.
13:18you feeling better honey yes what a mess i failed you no job
13:48no place to stay we just can't make it with another mouth to feed no ray it isn't your fault but it is
13:56i don't make enough to even feed poor little marshall don't worry mom and dad i'm cutting out
14:03you didn't have the baby yet did you mrs franklin no not yet we got old doc muncie coming over okay
14:23a doctor yeah it's a real good one he delivered me hey hey hey that's right it took him two trips
14:31where's marshall i thought he was with you kids oh uh yeah uh he's outside playing someplace i guess
14:38um we'll go get him won't we gang how are we gonna do that we don't even know what
14:43yeah we'll go find him right away
14:47russell you remind me of school at vacation time oh at vacation time yeah no class
14:59come on gang spread out we gotta find marshall fast
15:03marshall's missing
15:09poor mom and dad i'll go far away where they'll never have to worry about me again
15:22marshall marshall marshall marshall marshall marshall marshall hey hey hey don't run away
15:38your mom wants you
16:08you
16:10you
16:14you
16:18you
16:28you
16:30you
16:34Help! Help!
16:36Grab my hand.
16:41Hang on to my ankles, men.
16:53Marsha, where do you want to go running off like that for?
16:56Because my parents are too poor with me.
17:00Don't you know they'd be all that poor without you?
17:05Come on, gang. Back to the clubhouse.
17:07Marsha, give me your hand.
17:18Marsha! Marsha!
17:20Ray?
17:21Hey, hey, hey. What can you say?
17:36Hey, hey, hey. What can you say?
17:44Ooh, wow. Check it out.
17:47Hey, all right.
17:50Hey, where's Marshall?
17:51Oh, well, I guess I haven't seen him.
17:54I don't know where he is.
17:56Open up in there.
17:57Uh-oh. Looks like the end.
18:00Don't open the door, Fat Albert.
18:02He's going to hit us with a wrecking ball.
18:11Marshall!
18:12Hey, Marshall!
18:12Hey, Marshall!
18:13Hey, Marshall!
18:14I thought I'd never catch him.
18:16And I can't even...
18:16Come on and see the baby, Marshall.
18:19You are now a brother.
18:21Or is he a sister?
18:26What's this?
18:27Mrs. Franklin has just given birth to a baby.
18:31A baby? On my property?
18:33That's right.
18:34Now, I don't know what we would have done without this clubhouse or the help of these boys.
18:37Baby?
18:38Please, Mr. Tyrone, don't throw the baby out in the snow.
18:44What?
18:44These folks don't have no home, no job, nothing.
18:48You can put us guys in jail, hit us with your cane, do anything you want to do.
18:54But please, don't hurt the baby, please.
18:59But this is no place for a baby.
19:02I'll get you to the hospital in my car and ask for a place to stay and a job.
19:07I have a few important associates in this community who can help.
19:12All right, now, okay, all right!
19:15And as for this clubhouse, I'm a lie.
19:18Well, now that it's a landmark, I couldn't tear it down now.
19:23Could I?
19:23Hey, all right, I'm all okay, Mr. Tyrone, all right!
19:27Hey, Kang, gather round.
19:30I'm a little stranger, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great,
19:34I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great.
19:37Um, us dudes have a few little Christmas birthday gifts we want to lay on the baby here.
19:45Well, what do you want?
20:04Here, this is for you.
20:07What's that?
20:07Mr. Tyrone, that only happens to be his bestest, favoritest thing in the whole world.
20:15A genuine brown hornet secret magnetized Dakota compass.
20:19Merry Christmas, Mr. Tyrone!
20:22Merry Christmas, Mr. Tyrone!
20:24Thank you, and a Merry Christmas to all of you!
20:28How am I doing, Martha?
20:45With American Dreams.
20:47It's drama interlaced with real life.
20:50My dad makes time to watch American Dreams with us.
20:53They're all there to support each other.
20:55Don't take any garbage from anyone.
20:56Every family has their conflict.
20:59They care very much about each other.
21:01And you know, love is the bottom line.
21:04If here, it's everything that I would hope for for my family.
21:07The family is the heart.
21:09Oh.