Step into the mysterious world of Gormenghast Castle in Episode 1 of the 2000 cult fantasy TV series based on Mervyn Peake’s legendary novels. With stunning gothic visuals, eccentric characters, and dark political intrigue, this epic story introduces the heir Titus Groan and the cunning kitchen boy Steerpike. Dive into a world where tradition rules, secrets lurk, and rebellion brews. A must-watch for fans of dark fantasy, Game of Thrones, and classic British TV.
#funny #comedy #lol #memes #Gormenghast #FantasyTV #GothicFantasy #BritishDrama #TitusGroan #ClassicTV #2000sSeries #FantasyWorld #EpicTV #CultClassic #TVSeries2000 #FantasyCastle #Steerpike #DarkFantasy #UKDrama #GormenghastSeries #MervynPeake #BBCDrama #FantasyAdventure #FantasyFans #FantasyFiction #EpicFantasy #TVFantasy #FantasyRealm #PeriodDrama #Gormenghast2000 #BritishTV #FantasySaga #GormenghastEpisode1 #FantasySeries
#funny #comedy #lol #memes #Gormenghast #FantasyTV #GothicFantasy #BritishDrama #TitusGroan #ClassicTV #2000sSeries #FantasyWorld #EpicTV #CultClassic #TVSeries2000 #FantasyCastle #Steerpike #DarkFantasy #UKDrama #GormenghastSeries #MervynPeake #BBCDrama #FantasyAdventure #FantasyFans #FantasyFiction #EpicFantasy #TVFantasy #FantasyRealm #PeriodDrama #Gormenghast2000 #BritishTV #FantasySaga #GormenghastEpisode1 #FantasySeries
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FunTranscript
00:00:01Hold fast to the law of the last cold tomb
00:00:10Where the earth of the truth lies thick upon the page
00:00:18And the loom of faith in the ink long fled
00:00:23From the drone of the nip flows on
00:00:29To the last of the first gay part
00:00:34And the least of the past is dust
00:00:39And the dust, the dust is lost
00:00:49My first common dust
00:00:58Heave, your ladyship
00:01:08As the brute fellow in pursuit of the oval boar
00:01:11Shut up, squalor, shut up
00:01:13Heave, heave ho, as the magelo with the hempen rope
00:01:18Heave, prune squalor, will you shut up
00:01:21I see, genitalia, it is of a sex, ladyship
00:01:28What kind?
00:01:29It was fine sex
00:01:30Which one, you idiot?
00:01:31A brand new grown ladyship
00:01:33Squalor, what is it?
00:01:35It's by testiclea, and there or thereabouts is also to be found a tinkle
00:01:39It's a...
00:01:40It's an heir, ladyship
00:01:42An heir to the glory of Gormengar
00:01:44Gormengar
00:01:45It's a boy!
00:01:46It's a boy!
00:01:47It's a boy!
00:01:51It's a boy!
00:01:52It's a boy!
00:01:57It's a boy!
00:01:58It's a boy!
00:01:59It's a boy!
00:02:00It's a boy!
00:02:01It's a boy!
00:02:03It's a boy!
00:02:04It's a boy!
00:02:05It's a boy!
00:02:06It's a boy!
00:02:08It's a boy!
00:02:09It's a boy!
00:02:10The ninth day of the month.
00:02:25The ninth, you folks. Didn't I say the ninth?
00:02:28It's blue. The air should be blue, not red.
00:02:34The ninth, you lordship.
00:02:36Eleven o'clock, release of the five hawks from the northeast, turret.
00:02:43One-fifteen, groaning of the dungeons with your daughter, Lady Fuchsia.
00:02:51Four o'clock, blessing the meteorites.
00:02:56Six.
00:02:56It's a boy! It's a boy!
00:02:59Dammit, what is that racket?
00:03:00It's a boy! It's a boy! A son for groan!
00:03:06It's a boy!
00:03:08A new world! The 77th!
00:03:14Born on the ninth.
00:03:19No! I don't want a brother.
00:03:23Who says I want a brother?
00:03:24A little lordship.
00:03:26Oh, Nani! Why didn't anyone ask me?
00:03:30Oh, no, we can't.
00:03:32I can't wait to see him and love him and squeeze him all to death.
00:03:36You're a silly old fool!
00:03:37Why doesn't anyone understand me?
00:03:43My own little boy.
00:03:44Don't just stand there.
00:03:46Get me some food!
00:03:48I'm furious!
00:03:49I'm going to have a dream.
00:03:53And it's going to be a long one.
00:03:56Why do I always have to wait till doomsday?
00:03:58I am only the daughter of the Earl of Groan, aren't I?
00:04:03All right, then.
00:04:05I'll starve.
00:04:06I could smuck him already.
00:04:14Hitch a boy!
00:04:15I can't wait!
00:04:24I can't wait.
00:04:28Come hither, come hither!
00:04:54Come hither, we celebrate!
00:05:00Close ranks, my little ones.
00:05:04Tell me, my stenching little cherub.
00:05:10Tell me extra quickly and I will sing song to you.
00:05:15Who am I?
00:05:18I'm the wise well, sir.
00:05:20The Father Wraithers of Hensley.
00:05:22Correct!
00:05:23My...
00:05:25Oh, fairy boys.
00:05:28I am your Dada.
00:05:31I am your flower of flatulence.
00:05:35Your gorgeous, gaseous bud.
00:05:47Where is he?
00:05:49Where is he?
00:05:51Where is that slug of summer?
00:05:54That stench of goat, Steerpike?
00:05:57Where is he?
00:05:59This is this!
00:06:01Where is he?
00:06:02Where is he?
00:06:03Where is he?
00:06:04Where is he?
00:06:06Steerpike!
00:06:07My ray of addle sunshine.
00:06:09Why should I sing to you?
00:06:11A creature of no more consequence than a stoat's shit.
00:06:16Why don't I just crush you in my paw?
00:06:20Why don't I smash you into pieces?
00:06:22Put down boy!
00:06:23Mr. Fly!
00:06:24Mr. Fly!
00:06:25The spidery servant on his measly legs.
00:06:28Drop boy!
00:06:29Oh, Mr. Fly!
00:06:30Oh, Mr. Fly!
00:06:31Is the time come?
00:06:32Is it?
00:06:33Drop boy!
00:06:34Chef of...
00:06:35Chef of...
00:06:36Chef of...
00:06:37Chef of scum!
00:06:38Chef of scum!
00:06:39You are in my kitchen kingdom fervent!
00:06:40This is the domain of Swelta!
00:06:41Oh, Mr. Fly!
00:06:42Oh, Mr. Fly!
00:06:43Oh, Mr. Fly!
00:06:44Oh, Mr. Fly!
00:06:45Is the time come?
00:06:46Is it?
00:06:47Drop boy!
00:06:48Chef of...
00:06:49Chef of...
00:06:50Chef of...
00:06:51Chef of scum!
00:06:52Chef of scum!
00:06:54You are in my kitchen kingdom fervent!
00:07:06This is the domain of Swelta!
00:07:08How...
00:07:09How...
00:07:10...day you?
00:07:11Flay!
00:07:12Man's servants to the earth.
00:07:15How...
00:07:16...day you?
00:07:17How...
00:07:18How...
00:07:19...day you?
00:07:20How...
00:07:21...day you?
00:07:22How...
00:07:24...day you?
00:07:25How...
00:07:27...day...
00:07:28The fire's falling!
00:07:33No respect for stones.
00:07:43Vile thing.
00:07:45You, Ihre...
00:07:47...day you!
00:07:51No!
00:07:52Vile thing?
00:07:55C'mon!
00:07:56C'mon!
00:07:58C'mon!
00:08:00C'mon!
00:08:01C'mon!
00:08:02C'mon!
00:08:03C'mon!
00:08:04C'mon!
00:08:05C'mon!
00:08:06C'mon!
00:08:07Ah, ah, ah, ah!
00:08:37One of Swelter's striped rats.
00:08:46Yes, sir.
00:08:48You help me, sir.
00:08:50Help?
00:08:51You?
00:08:52Yes, sir.
00:08:53You told him to drop me.
00:08:56Please.
00:08:57I'm lost and I'm dying of heat from the kitchens.
00:09:00Don't want Swelter slug in stone lanes.
00:09:02Go.
00:09:03Please, sir.
00:09:05Show me daylight and I'll go.
00:09:08Please, help me leave the vile swelter.
00:09:11Vile?
00:09:12I say vile.
00:09:14What you done?
00:09:16Done, sir.
00:09:17When?
00:09:19Nothing, sir.
00:09:20Nothing at all.
00:09:22I'm unhappy, sir.
00:09:24Unhappy?
00:09:26This rebellion?
00:09:27No, sir.
00:09:28No rebellion, sir.
00:09:29None at all.
00:09:30I am loyal to my castle.
00:09:33Only rebellion against the vile swelter.
00:09:36Swelter!
00:09:37Leave his name in fat and grease.
00:09:39Never swelter in stone lanes.
00:09:41Hold your tongue.
00:09:42Teach you to be unhappy when grown is born.
00:09:48A grown, sir.
00:09:50Let me see.
00:09:55Let me see.
00:09:56Please.
00:09:57Let me see a grown.
00:10:00See a grown?
00:10:02You!
00:10:04You!
00:10:05Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:10:08Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:10:15So, you, kitchen rat.
00:10:20See what you've never seen.
00:10:24Forward, swelter slug!
00:10:26Slug this cat room
00:10:41Whose are they?
00:10:44Show you
00:10:47Name? Steerpike, sir.
00:10:49Queerpike? Steerpike, sir. Steerpike
00:10:53Square-tog, square-tog. Twice. Four. Once in a pocket, you think?
00:11:04Whose are they, sir?
00:11:05Ladyship. Sea. Ladyship room.
00:11:16Did you notice anything unusual about the boy?
00:11:19Oh, structurally a sound child, my lord. Sound as a bell.
00:11:22Damn the structure. Did you see his face?
00:11:24I noticed his face, sir. I definitely noticed it. If that's of any help.
00:11:28Did you notice anything strange?
00:11:30You needn't be afraid to speak out.
00:11:32Strange, Lord.
00:11:34The face, prune scholar, the face.
00:11:37Speaking professionally, I should say his face was irregular, sir, but not...
00:11:41Unnatural?
00:11:42I'd say irregular, sir.
00:11:43Ugly?
00:11:44I'd say unnatural.
00:11:45Doctor, when I say ugly, have the goodness to use the word.
00:11:48Have you ever delivered a more hideous child?
00:11:52Never, my lord! Never!
00:11:54And he has such extraordinary eyes.
00:11:57Eyes?
00:11:59What's wrong with them?
00:12:00They are violet, my lord.
00:12:02I've seen enough grass.
00:12:03These are not for you.
00:12:04Back to Elm.
00:12:05And Swelta.
00:12:06No, sir.
00:12:07Please.
00:12:08Not the kitchens.
00:12:09Where you belong.
00:12:10He's ugly, sir.
00:12:11I heard it.
00:12:12The new lordships are natural.
00:12:13Lord Grom says, sir.
00:12:15So?
00:12:16Not the kitchens.
00:12:17Please?
00:12:18Spit it out, sink boy!
00:12:19If I go back to Swelta, I'll tell them all what I heard his lordship say.
00:12:24You heard nothing.
00:12:25All the apprentices will know.
00:12:26His little lordships.
00:12:27He's not lost, sir.
00:12:28No, sir.
00:12:29No, sir.
00:12:30Please.
00:12:31No, sir.
00:12:32No, sir.
00:12:33No, sir.
00:12:34Please.
00:12:35No, sir.
00:12:36Not the kitchens.
00:12:37Where you belong.
00:12:38He's ugly, sir.
00:12:39I heard it.
00:12:40The new lordships are natural.
00:12:41Lord Grom says, sir.
00:12:42So?
00:12:43Not the kitchens.
00:12:44The Lordship's hideous.
00:12:46You'll say nothing.
00:12:48I'll fix you.
00:12:54Little Lordship, ugly,
00:12:56hideous.
00:12:58Teach you, sweater rat.
00:13:06No rebellion here.
00:13:08No insult
00:13:10to these stones
00:13:12from you.
00:13:26At least it's not the kitchens.
00:13:28Oww.
00:13:30Oww.
00:13:32Oww.
00:13:34Oww .
00:13:36Cres.
00:13:38Oww.
00:13:40Oww.
00:13:42A-.
00:13:44A-.
00:13:46A-.
00:13:48Who sees all this?
00:14:06Taitas groon!
00:14:09Taitas!
00:14:12Taitas!
00:14:16Bring him in now, you idiot!
00:14:21Here, here, over here!
00:14:24Here!
00:14:26There!
00:14:28Over there, by his lordship!
00:14:31This is a naming woman, not a tea dance!
00:14:35Your lordship, as the 76th earl of groan, it is written that you shall now accompany your
00:14:54son there to the iron bowl of mout water!
00:15:01Here!
00:15:02To the bowl!
00:15:03This!
00:15:04This!
00:15:05Does it look like a bowl?
00:15:06Does it hold water like a bowl?
00:15:07Then it's just a bowl, isn't it?
00:15:09Here, woman!
00:15:11Down, down into the pages of the book, it is written, and it shall be adhered to, that
00:15:30between these pages, where the flax is grey, with the wisdom, the firstborn male child
00:15:37of the house of groan, shall be lost.
00:15:40Why does he get all the glory?
00:15:41Why not us?
00:15:42Why not us?
00:15:43Why not us?
00:15:44Why not us?
00:15:45Why not us?
00:15:46...directed towards water, and that these pages, heavy air with these, the words of ritual
00:15:56ceremony, and his future life, shall be bent in and around him, so that he is in self
00:16:08Why's she got all the power, anyway?
00:16:10It's ours!
00:16:11Groom's our brother, isn't it?
00:16:13And he is as one, with the inviolable Lord!
00:16:17How much longer?
00:16:32No!
00:16:33Like rubber, your lady, shape every ounce of ounce!
00:16:37What are you talking about, you idiot?
00:16:39I was referring to a child who has just fallen to the floor, your ladyship.
00:16:42Has he?
00:16:43Where?
00:16:44He's here, your ladyship.
00:16:45Oh.
00:16:46We're going for a walk.
00:16:48Fifteen minutes on the lawn.
00:16:51Master chalk could do with the air.
00:16:54Can't you, dear?
00:16:55Come along, my precious.
00:16:56He's ugly.
00:16:57So are you.
00:16:58I like him better now he's ugly.
00:17:11Where have you been for the past fifteen years?
00:17:26We've been in the south wing.
00:17:28We've been thinking.
00:17:30About what?
00:17:31Power.
00:17:32Shh!
00:17:33Inheritor of the powers I hold.
00:17:48Continuer of the bloodstock of the stones.
00:17:51Approach now the purity of the stream of Gormungast.
00:17:55Where, named and fated, you shall be consecrated as Titus.
00:18:02Seventy-seventh Earl of Grown and Lord of Gormungast.
00:18:03Ah!
00:18:04Ah!
00:18:05Ah!
00:18:06Ah!
00:18:07Ah!
00:18:08Ah!
00:18:09Ah!
00:18:10Ah!
00:18:11Ah!
00:18:12Ah!
00:18:13Ah!
00:18:14Ah!
00:18:15Ah!
00:18:16Ah!
00:18:17Ah!
00:18:18Ah!
00:18:19Ah!
00:18:20Ah!
00:18:21Ah!
00:18:22Ah!
00:18:23Ah!
00:18:24Ah!
00:18:25Ah!
00:18:26Ah!
00:18:27Ah!
00:18:28Ah!
00:18:29Ah!
00:18:30Ah!
00:18:31Ah!
00:18:32Ah!
00:18:33Ah!
00:18:34Ah!
00:18:35Ah!
00:18:36Ah!
00:18:37Ah!
00:18:38Ah!
00:18:39Ah!
00:18:40Ah!
00:18:41Ah!
00:18:42Ah!
00:18:43Child, welcome to the vastness.
00:18:55Maidens!
00:19:02Come along, ladies. Come along.
00:19:07Oh, irresistible. You've barbarised one, Senor Svelta.
00:19:11You positively barbarised one.
00:19:14Oh, Mr Flea, Mr Flea.
00:19:17Don't just walk out as if you haven't got a friend in the world.
00:19:20Allow me to introduce you to some of my boys.
00:19:23After all, they are your own sort from the grubs and the gutters.
00:19:26They're my ickle spittle boys.
00:19:29Yes. Now, come along.
00:19:32Permit me to introduce to you Master Springers.
00:19:35Master Springers, Mr Flea.
00:19:38Mr Flea, Master Springers.
00:19:40This is Master Rattle.
00:19:47Master Rattle, Mr Flea.
00:19:49Mr Flea, Master Rattle.
00:19:52Hmm? Hmm?
00:19:54Ah!
00:19:56Kingdom Scum!
00:19:59Isn't he sweet, your ladyship?
00:20:04Oh.
00:20:06His little HD ship, his ladyship.
00:20:09Good Lordship, you ladyship.
00:20:12What do you want me to do with him?
00:20:14He's had his bath.
00:20:15What about it?
00:20:17Go away.
00:20:19Bring him back when he's six.
00:20:22WHISTLE BLOWS
00:20:23Where's the chalk?
00:20:25Where are you?
00:20:39What do you want me to do with him?
00:20:53Go on and gasp.
00:20:59Hmm.
00:21:05Who are you then?
00:21:09He's not so bad after all.
00:21:21Pinched nose, flat head, weird, weird eyes.
00:21:27No, no.
00:21:28Not so bad.
00:21:29Not so bad.
00:21:30Is he?
00:21:35He is my little brother.
00:21:37Oh.
00:21:38Oh.
00:21:39Oh, little lord.
00:21:40Oh, Nanny.
00:21:41Oh, Nanny.
00:21:42Oh, Nanny.
00:21:43I love him.
00:21:44Oh?
00:21:45And you.
00:21:46Hmm?
00:21:47They've dropped him on his head and he is so ugly.
00:21:50Oh.
00:21:51Oh.
00:21:52Oh.
00:21:53Oh.
00:21:54Oh.
00:21:55Oh.
00:21:56Oh.
00:21:57Oh.
00:21:58You need a good smack.
00:21:59I think I will see him every fortnight.
00:22:00Oh, my poor language and my weak heart.
00:22:01And her ladyship says, go and get a wet nurse from the village.
00:22:04How am I going to go down all them steps of my age?
00:22:07Oh.
00:22:08Oh.
00:22:09Getting me to go out at this time of night is not right.
00:22:12Oh.
00:22:13Oh.
00:22:14Oh.
00:22:15Oh.
00:22:16Oh.
00:22:17Oh.
00:22:18Oh, you have to touch me deaf.
00:22:19Keeper.
00:22:20Open it up.
00:22:21Good day, little creature.
00:22:22Slow as a snail.
00:22:23Hurry up.
00:22:24I'm cold.
00:22:25Too old for all this.
00:22:28Oh.
00:22:29Don't you know how far it is to the Woodgarver's village?
00:22:34Up there with the birds?
00:22:36I've got an important announcement.
00:23:06Calvars, low servants at the castle, lowest of the low.
00:23:24I haven't come to talk about the ceremony of the bright carbines.
00:23:29That is as it is and always will be.
00:23:32That is the business of higher people.
00:23:36Higher than me, I mean.
00:23:39I have come to give you some wonderful news.
00:23:44A new little groan has been born.
00:23:47A boy of the blood.
00:23:50A new master.
00:23:52I am in charge, of course, as per usual.
00:23:55And I want a wet nurse for him to come back with me at once.
00:24:08Who are you?
00:24:10I said, who are you?
00:24:12Answer me at once.
00:24:14Kida.
00:24:15I am with child.
00:24:18I don't want to stay here.
00:24:21I have no man.
00:24:23I want to come.
00:24:25Please, I am strong.
00:24:29Please take me.
00:24:32Your due.
00:24:33A new babys asse sensor of an abyss teacher.
00:24:39Oh, he's veryonerated.
00:24:39I know.
00:24:40I know, my son.
00:24:42A new, josé, CAPTGood EUROPE.
00:24:42Coulda's quit him?
00:24:44I want to move almost out of all the rest.
00:24:44You wanna move this lady.
00:24:45I want to get started.
00:24:46I don't know.
00:25:16I don't know.
00:25:46A young ladyship never eats.
00:25:52How's she going to grow?
00:25:54And how's he going to?
00:25:55You don't feed him.
00:25:57Take it, lordship.
00:25:59Take it.
00:26:00This is your little sister's milk.
00:26:03Sister?
00:26:03What do you mean, sister?
00:26:04I'm carrying his foster sister, aren't I?
00:26:07How do you know it's a girl?
00:26:08I know.
00:26:09I don't care what you know.
00:26:10Boy or girl, that is no sister to a grown.
00:26:13He's already got a sister he has, the Lady Fuchsia.
00:26:15This is her breakfast.
00:26:17A foster child won't go near him.
00:26:19He's a little lordship.
00:26:20She's carver.
00:26:21He's them.
00:26:22She's you.
00:26:23Her father was a great man.
00:26:26He was the best carver.
00:26:28And he's dead.
00:26:29And the carvers won't have his jar there because it'll be born out of wedlock.
00:26:32That's why, isn't it?
00:26:33How dare you talk like that, mixing up the Lord of Gormenghast with the little bastard?
00:26:40You can think what you like, but she's mine, whatever she is, whatever you want to call her.
00:26:45Don't you talk to me like that in the presence of his little lordship.
00:26:48I won't stand it, you stupid, stupid girl.
00:26:52I've got my work to do.
00:26:53I'm not going to do my work with my bad chest if you upset me.
00:26:57His little lordship will never, never get mixed up with a...
00:27:00He'll be where he belongs.
00:27:01And so will she, and everybody else, in the right place.
00:27:05I'm too old.
00:27:08I'm too old for all this.
00:27:11I know it.
00:27:13She will be your little sister.
00:27:18And you will love her.
00:27:31Go away.
00:27:36You've got to eat.
00:27:37How are you going to grow up?
00:27:39You are the naughtiest girl.
00:27:42Go away.
00:27:43I'm going to have an adventure.
00:27:44Doctor Prune has got a present for you.
00:27:50I don't care.
00:27:51What is it?
00:27:52Let me in, and I'll tell you.
00:27:56When I am queen, I am going to burn down the castle.
00:28:01What did you say?
00:28:02Open the door.
00:28:03You are the naughtiest girl.
00:28:08You are the most fuchsia.
00:28:13I am fuchsia.
00:28:20I am me.
00:28:22Don't be frightened.
00:28:25Wait and see.
00:28:27You are the naughtiest girl.
00:28:57I am.
00:29:28Go away.
00:29:30What are you doing here?
00:29:32The lady fuchsia grown, I believe.
00:29:33Nobody comes here.
00:29:35This is mine.
00:29:36I hate you.
00:29:39Madam.
00:29:40Go away.
00:29:49Madam, I have seen such things.
00:29:51This is private.
00:29:53Forgive me, madam.
00:29:55But your book that I couldn't help but glance at.
00:29:58The adventures in there are nothing to what has happened to me.
00:30:01I mean, really happened.
00:30:05You wouldn't believe me anyway.
00:30:08Believe what?
00:30:09I have seen a great pavement in the sky.
00:30:19I've been colder than ice.
00:30:21I've had no food or sleep.
00:30:25Lady fuchsia, I am a rebel.
00:30:26I come for sanctuary.
00:30:29Sanctuary?
00:30:30Like the knights of old, your ladyship.
00:30:33You're wearing kitchen clothes.
00:30:37That's where I escaped from.
00:30:38My name is Stairpike.
00:30:42But I cannot tell you where the pavement in the clouds lies.
00:30:45Not yet.
00:30:46Oh, why not?
00:30:46Madam, there are a great many mysteries in this world.
00:30:49And some may be too strong
00:30:50for the delicate heart of a lady such as yourself.
00:30:54You are an adventurer.
00:30:56That's exactly what I am.
00:30:58I am a man of purpose.
00:31:01Hide me, I beg you.
00:31:03Find me useful employment,
00:31:05and I will never let you down.
00:31:06I swear it.
00:31:07You will swear an oath.
00:31:10I am yours to do with as you will.
00:31:16What is that awful stink?
00:31:19It's the filthy dregs you poured over me, madam.
00:31:22Oh, well, you'd better wash, hadn't you?
00:31:25Yes, Lady Shepard.
00:31:27Well, don't just stand there kneeling.
00:31:30Follow me.
00:31:31Oh.
00:31:36Don't forget.
00:31:39You promised to introduce me to someone
00:31:40who might employ me, you, Lady Shepard.
00:31:41I did not promise.
00:31:42How dare you tell such lies?
00:31:45I apologise, madam.
00:31:46You are my queen.
00:31:48My absolute queen.
00:31:49I'm in your hands.
00:31:55You're minstrel, Stairpike.
00:31:57Oh, God.
00:32:00Oh, God.
00:32:01Oh, God.
00:32:02Oh.
00:32:06Come on.
00:32:19Come on.
00:32:20You're my queen.
00:32:50Go away.
00:33:20i'm not here now it's dr prue i told you he's got a present for you my present i forgot my present
00:33:29your clown madam
00:33:33please don't ever forget your clown
00:33:34the doctor's waiting ladyship in a minute nanny i'll come to your room
00:33:57good good a kitchen boy from the kitchens how could you shame yourself quiet nanny
00:34:03i want my present good morning well well say you've brought a little friend with you have
00:34:10your future my dear child master steerpike sir at your service i don't know about at my service
00:34:16i wouldn't have any service left if every young gentleman was suddenly at it in my service would
00:34:23perhaps be immeasurably preferable that's all right then because he's come for a job where's my present
00:34:28my dear mr slag
00:34:42i've always been fascinated by those who want to work
00:34:46what do you fancy future my dear child elderberry something to tide you over
00:34:56what's my present dr prune ah your present
00:35:00dear child i saw the diamante in your teardrops the day your baby brother was born diamante
00:35:06what is it is it diamonds
00:35:10and you young sir what will you have and what in the name of hosiery is that you're wearing this
00:35:15says a kitchen jacket these are kitchen trousers and these are kitchen shoes all about me is kitchen
00:35:21which is as absurd upon me as it is insulting if you don't mind me saying so i'll take your brandy
00:35:24thank you i see and if my dear boy you are not kitchen what is it that we find beneath that fetid
00:35:32attire huh are you a problem case or are you a young gentleman with no ideas at all with your
00:35:37permission sir neither i have plenty of ideas though at the same time plenty of problems too
00:35:43my first and most immediate is to impress you with my talent so it may be put to your service in any
00:35:47form at all my well what maladress what enormity of service you tantalize me in a pleasant sort of
00:35:56way master stearbank but whether i want you hanging about my house is another kettle of fish
00:35:59altogether i never hang about sir it's the one thing i never do you hung about in my room he
00:36:05climbed there he's very clever doctor kitchen boy in my less ambitious moments it's as a dispenser i
00:36:10see myself do you have any knowledge of the pharmacuticals may i venture to remark under your guidance
00:36:15i could learn anything what a diabolically clever little monster uh-huh you don't mind me saying so
00:36:23sir your service is a bit slow perhaps i might be allowed to pep it up a little i'm bored talking
00:36:29about him what about my present of course my dear master stearpite while i speak to her ladyship would
00:36:35you be so good would you be so good good it's me
00:36:49may i open the door for you you look as if you're having a little difficulty doing it yourself
00:37:10not so good let's try to tell you for help
00:37:15fe beautiful mouth
00:37:31save that
00:37:33save that
00:37:38save that
00:37:40No more kitchens for me.
00:38:01It's almost too easy.
00:38:04Thank you, Dr. Proulx.
00:38:07Ah, leadership.
00:38:08Take care, my dear.
00:38:11Happy dreams.
00:38:15I'm afraid I'm still here, doctor.
00:38:17What is that?
00:38:18What is that?
00:38:19That, my dear sister, is Master Steerpike, who wishes to serve us.
00:38:23Did he go upstairs just now?
00:38:25Did he go upstairs?
00:38:25I heard feet.
00:38:26And what is wrong when you boil the matter down with feet?
00:38:29I've always found mine most useful, especially when walking.
00:38:32One might almost imagine they had been designed for the very purpose.
00:38:35You were drunk with your own levity.
00:38:37I heard feet, I tell you, in our own upstairs, and you take no notice.
00:38:41I also heard something, madam.
00:38:42You did?
00:38:42I was here in the hall waiting for the doctor to decide in what capacity he was to employ me
00:38:46when I heard what sounded like feet.
00:38:48I told you so, Alfred.
00:38:50So I crept to the top of the stair.
00:38:52But there was no one there, so I returned.
00:38:53Well, thank you, Mr...
00:38:57Steerpike, and you're welcome.
00:39:00And may I say that standing before me in your exquisite gown of darkness...
00:39:04Exquisite gown of darkness?
00:39:06Oh, that's good.
00:39:07I have an overwhelming and instinctive desire to serve you.
00:39:10A great and bounteous lady like yourself may be unwilling.
00:39:12I can understand that.
00:39:13But tomorrow, if I may, I shall remove that stain I see on the hem of this exquisite gown that so becomes you.
00:39:21Well, exquisite, bounteous, and albeit stained, begowned, sister.
00:39:28I think we shall dress him in pale grey.
00:39:37Yes.
00:39:40Where shall I sleep?
00:39:44I heard a winter tree in song
00:39:48Its leaves were birds
00:39:52A hundredth strong
00:39:55When all at once
00:39:58It ceased to sing
00:40:01For every leaf
00:40:04I'd taken wing
00:40:07Titus
00:40:16You will be free
00:40:18Titus
00:40:28Wait
00:40:29My god
00:40:30Wait
00:40:30You will be free
00:40:32Titus
00:40:32Wait
00:40:35I'll see
00:40:36How long
00:40:38It's
00:40:39So
00:40:40It's
00:40:42So
00:40:44of
00:40:44You ei
00:40:45You
00:40:46Know
00:40:47You made me late, you wicked boy.
00:41:17Come on, come on, the ceremony of the bright carvings, from the sunrise to the night of the
00:41:35moon, in eternal day and eternal night.
00:41:41What has been, has always been, and will always be, Gormenghast!
00:41:55Carvers, create beauty for the delectation of the Lord.
00:42:08His lordship will now select the best carvings.
00:42:13The rest will be banned.
00:42:38Well, they've all got to go sooner or later.
00:42:45Which one first?
00:42:52Oh!
00:42:53Oh!
00:42:55Oh!
00:42:57Oh!
00:42:58Oh!
00:42:59Oh!
00:43:00Oh!
00:43:02Oh!
00:43:03Oh!
00:43:04Oh!
00:43:05Oh!
00:43:36We have been doubly privileged, your ladyships.
00:44:01First, the ceremony, and then a visit from your good selves.
00:44:06Who's he?
00:44:08I am your servant, madam.
00:44:10Madam?
00:44:12Was he here for...
00:44:14Only your gracious patronage, ladyships.
00:44:17Only your favour.
00:44:18What was that? Say it again.
00:44:19Only your gracious favour.
00:44:22We'll give it to him.
00:44:23No, we won't. Not yet.
00:44:24We will. You can take us home.
00:44:27I am honoured.
00:44:29Climbs faster than Virginia Creeper.
00:44:31All this could be ours.
00:44:34All of it. The whole place.
00:44:36We had a hundred servants once.
00:44:38And delivery. And coaches.
00:44:40And she stole them.
00:44:42What did he say?
00:44:44Say it again.
00:44:45Lady Gertrude stole them.
00:44:47Everybody knows.
00:44:48Wait.
00:44:54Wait.
00:44:55Mr. Stearpike.
00:44:57Your apartments, ladyships.
00:44:59But forgive my honesty.
00:45:00Not apartments that are fit for ladyships.
00:45:02What did he say?
00:45:03It makes me mad, my lady.
00:45:08My lady.
00:45:09It makes me mad, mad, mad.
00:45:12I am in such a fury.
00:45:14How can such gracious, bountiful, generous, beautiful, superior...
00:45:22As ladies be the victims of such rascals and thieves?
00:45:26It makes me mad.
00:45:29I am your servant.
00:45:31With your permission, I pledge my life.
00:45:33And honour to restoring you to your privileges.
00:45:36Our privileges?
00:45:37Does he mean our servants?
00:45:38Our livery.
00:45:38Our coaches.
00:45:39And our thrones.
00:45:40We never had thrones.
00:45:41We did.
00:45:42All of it.
00:45:43Livery.
00:45:44Thrones.
00:45:44Servants.
00:45:45Coaches.
00:45:46The lot.
00:45:47But what about Gertrude?
00:45:50Tell no one what we've said.
00:45:51And you can leave it to me.
00:45:53We did have thrones.
00:45:55I remember.
00:45:56Lady Clarence.
00:45:58Cora.
00:45:59Lady Cora.
00:46:00You must try and concentrate on what I'm saying.
00:46:03I have made a pledge.
00:46:07Do you want your power back?
00:46:09Oh, yes.
00:46:10Then I shall return.
00:46:13Good night, my sweet ladies.
00:46:15What did he say?
00:46:24Sweet ladies.
00:46:27Hmm.
00:46:28What's up, my little sweetness?
00:46:34Oh, are you damp, my little adorable?
00:46:37Come, quick.
00:46:38Come.
00:46:39I'll be your good little lordship.
00:46:41You're going to see your papa.
00:46:43Oh, don't cry.
00:46:44Don't cry.
00:46:45Ooh, shh.
00:46:58Put him here.
00:46:59I found these for him sit with him nurse on the rug I have in mind a family
00:47:14gathering to confirm what is it nurse I am so tired my lord then lie lie down this
00:47:25day week at eight o'clock dress the boy in his christening robes and bring him here inform
00:47:30those concerned if they are surprised it doesn't matter I want to do it a gathering
00:47:37to arrange and confirm a breakfast for my son the countess lady fuchsia their ladyships
00:47:47Clarice and Cora and perhaps a prune squatter and his sister yes lordship let me see him
00:48:01he has improved I'm not so hideous he's a gorgeous little one though shit and still
00:48:16into him his time his birthplace his heritage and a respect for all his fathers
00:48:29will you perhaps he won't like it do it for me nurse
00:48:41flay take mrs. slag back you need not return tonight have my room ready lordship
00:49:03my son
00:49:19oh my son
00:49:21oh my son
00:49:25oh my son
00:49:27oh my son
00:49:33oh my god
00:49:39oh my god
00:49:47mad all mad
00:49:51all mad
00:49:55oh
00:49:59oh
00:50:01mmm
00:50:08mmm
00:50:13About time, too, you miserable old groaner.
00:50:28Where'd you get that?
00:50:30Shame to let it rust, don't you think?
00:50:33Such wasters they are.
00:50:35That is not for you to say, kitchen boy.
00:50:38Doctor's dispensary, Clark, as a matter of fact, slag.
00:50:41And don't go trying to be superior with me.
00:50:44We're from the same place.
00:50:46Out of me way. Drainage.
00:50:49And talking of places, I know exactly the one you're going to right now.
00:50:52How can you know that?
00:50:53That is the business of his lordship and Mr. Flay.
00:50:57Oh, I'd say you were about to visit the Simple Sisters.
00:51:00Halfway Clarice, the halfway Cora.
00:51:03Or is it the other way around, slag?
00:51:04How dare you!
00:51:06How are you feeling, slag?
00:51:08Heart bad?
00:51:10Legs weak?
00:51:11Well, it's about another mile past the South Wing and further.
00:51:16I'd say you should thank me.
00:51:18How for?
00:51:19I've done it for you.
00:51:21I told them.
00:51:22Eight o'clock next Friday.
00:51:24His lordship mentioned it to me.
00:51:27He didn't think you were up to it.
00:51:29To tell you the truth,
00:51:32he wasn't sure whether you were fit enough to look after his son, either.
00:51:35Oh!
00:51:36He's not fit.
00:51:38With his little lordship.
00:51:41Don't worry.
00:51:43I saved your bacon.
00:51:44I told him you had years in your ear.
00:51:46Oh!
00:51:46Look what I've done for you already.
00:51:50Us from the sewer should stick together, I'd say.
00:51:52Oh, by the way.
00:51:57Gladys and Cora can't make it.
00:52:00Illness is the cause, I believe.
00:52:02Oh.
00:52:02What is it dementia?
00:52:04Anyway, pass it on to Flay, would you?
00:52:07And he'll think you made the journey yourself.
00:52:09Good morning, slag.
00:52:10The young prince, with stars for eyes and a half moon for a mouth, was asleep and didn't know that the dwarf with brass teeth was creeping towards him.
00:52:26Master Chalk!
00:52:29Have you come to ask forgiveness for being away so long?
00:52:35What is it, Master Chalk?
00:52:38What's wrong?
00:52:39All of this.
00:52:44Look, there.
00:52:46The Tower of Flint's in the West Wing.
00:52:48The Blue Dome in the East.
00:52:50And the North Wing and the Great Library over there.
00:52:52Gormenghast Mountains and the Wilderness as far as the eye can see.
00:52:58All.
00:52:59All and everything.
00:53:01What else is there but Gormenghast?
00:53:03So who does it belong to?
00:53:06That's obvious.
00:53:08Brother Grown.
00:53:08Who should it belong to?
00:53:10That's obvious.
00:53:11Us.
00:53:12Hmm.
00:53:13Let's think about this.
00:53:16Your brother has control over it all.
00:53:19That's true.
00:53:20But is it right?
00:53:21And proper?
00:53:23Is it just?
00:53:25Do you believe in justice?
00:53:27Is it justice that he has taken everything that is yours?
00:53:31Do you believe this injustice should be destroyed?
00:53:36So then how do you destroy your brother?
00:53:39How has he done this to you?
00:53:42Why is he so clever?
00:53:45He reads it all in books.
00:53:47Exactly.
00:53:49If he didn't have his books, he wouldn't be so clever, would he?
00:53:51If he wasn't so clever, you could defeat him, couldn't you?
00:53:56What's the best way to destroy books?
00:53:58Um, I would burn them.
00:54:02So would I.
00:54:03With fire.
00:54:05Hmm.
00:54:06Books are in the library.
00:54:07Oh.
00:54:08Well, we ought not to burn the library.
00:54:10Oh, no.
00:54:11Lady Clarice.
00:54:13Lady Cora.
00:54:15I told you I come in serious errand.
00:54:18Listen to this.
00:54:22At the end of next week, his lordship, your brother, is holding a gathering for the family to discuss a breakfast for Titus.
00:54:30A gathering for the family.
00:54:32Oh, he can wear purple.
00:54:33No, the green.
00:54:34Purple.
00:54:34Green.
00:54:34Purple.
00:54:35Green.
00:54:35You're not invited.
00:54:38Even Prune Squalor and his silly sister have been invited.
00:54:41But not Lady Clarice.
00:54:44And not Lady Cora.
00:54:45Not invited.
00:54:46Lady Clarice.
00:54:47Lady Cora.
00:54:48Not invited.
00:54:49Not invited.
00:54:52Personally, I think your plan to burn down the library is genius.
00:54:56We want to do it.
00:54:58So do I.
00:54:59Burn it.
00:54:59Burn it.
00:55:00Burn it.
00:55:01Burn it.
00:55:01Sit down.
00:55:02At once.
00:55:03I am pledged to help you.
00:55:06Am I not?
00:55:07If it is your desire, I will give you instructions on how to burn down the library when it is empty.
00:55:13But only if it is your desire.
00:55:18Can we watch it burn?
00:55:20Do you want to be caught?
00:55:22No.
00:55:23Then you can watch it from here.
00:55:25You'll be quite safe.
00:55:26You'll be quite safe.
00:55:56A red flower.
00:56:20A red flower for my son.
00:56:37Tell me.
00:56:41Once more.
00:56:42We've been indoors all the time.
00:56:46We've been indoors all the time.
00:56:51We've been indoors all the time.
00:56:55We've been indoors all the time.
00:56:59We've been.
00:57:00The library is now empty.
00:57:03It's time we started, your ladyships.
00:57:04These nights, that the owls in the Tower of Flint, seek their prey as heretofore.
00:57:18And although against all the usual tradition and log and rhythm of the castle, his lordship shall speak the matter on his mind.
00:57:30It is for my son that I rewind the ritual, a breakfast for him, for him, for me.
00:57:39Is it too much to ask?
00:57:41It shall be done, Master Secretary.
00:57:42I say this day, Tomb Bubs.
00:57:51Where is he?
00:57:54He said to wait here.
00:58:02Now.
00:58:03Congratulations, my ladies.
00:58:15You've never been braver or more brilliant.
00:58:18Will we get our coaches?
00:58:19Of course.
00:58:20But you must do as I've told you.
00:58:21Or will we get our thrones?
00:58:23You will have everything.
00:58:25Now go back to your apartments and wait.
00:58:27Servants?
00:58:27Everything.
00:58:28Now go.
00:58:30At once.
00:58:32Everything coaches.
00:58:34Everything friends.
00:58:35Everything servants.
00:58:37Everything power.
00:58:39Everything.
00:58:41As I say, Master Secretary,
00:58:45Nanny's land.
00:58:47The child.
00:58:58All right.
00:59:07Come on.
00:59:08Go.
00:59:08Come.
00:59:10Come on.
00:59:12Come on.
00:59:17Come on.
00:59:20Come on.
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