- 5 weeks ago
Rapture-Palooza (2013) is a comedy that imagines a chaotic world following a major global event. The story follows two friends as they navigate unusual challenges and meet a variety of quirky characters along the way. With humor, satire, and clever situations, the film delivers a fun and entertaining experience while exploring friendship, resilience, and unexpected adventures.
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Rapture-Palooza 2013, Rapture-Palooza movie, comedy 2013, satirical comedy films, fun adventure movies, humorous movies 2013, friendship comedy films, lighthearted comedy 2013, quirky character movies, amusing adventure films, clever comedy 2013, entertaining comedy movies, comedic story films, modern comedy 2013, comedy with adventure, feel good comedy films, laugh out loud movies, contemporary comedy films, 2013 funny movies, playful comedy films, unusual adventure comedy, comedic escapade movies, must watch comedy 2013, character driven comedy films, humorous journey movies, fun and adventure films, comical story movies, entertaining 2013 films, imaginative comedy movies, quirky comedy adventure
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00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00Now the book of Revelations tells us the rapture is the literal, physical, bodily coming of Christ in the clouds to snatch out of this world all believers, the dead and living who were in Christ our Lord. Amen.
00:01:15Those sinners who remain on earth shall face torments and suffer beyond their wildest nightmares.
00:01:22Who are these people?
00:01:23Well, we all know them.
00:01:25Musicians.
00:01:26Gays.
00:01:27Gay musicians.
00:01:28The entire 1997 Denver Broncos and all of Hollywood.
00:01:32Gays.
00:01:33Gays.
00:01:34Gays.
00:01:35So, it was incredibly freaky.
00:02:04To me, anyway.
00:02:06I always say that Ben sort of saved the world.
00:02:09He's that amazing.
00:02:10He, well, he says that I saved the world.
00:02:13But he's probably just being nice.
00:02:15It doesn't matter.
00:02:16That's me looking fairly shocked.
00:02:20But honestly, not that shocked,
00:02:22because the truth is a lot of crazy stuff had already gone down.
00:02:27Wow.
00:02:30Maybe I should back up a little.
00:02:33See, it all started with the rapture.
00:02:41It was league night.
00:02:43I had just gotten a strike.
00:02:47Oh, yeah.
00:02:48Oh, my God.
00:02:49And Ben was even more excited than me.
00:02:51He usually is, which is why I love him.
00:02:57Anyway, um, then all of a sudden,
00:03:02half the world was totally gone.
00:03:08Well, now, you better run.
00:03:12And when I hear somebody's calling you,
00:03:14and you better run.
00:03:16And when I say somebody's calling you,
00:03:18and you better run.
00:03:20Run, run, run, run, run.
00:03:22Somebody's calling you, I feel like my time ain't long.
00:03:26Time ain't long.
00:03:28Time ain't long.
00:03:30Well, you better run.
00:03:32And when I hear somebody's calling you, you better run.
00:03:34Run on, brother.
00:03:36Somebody's calling you, you better run.
00:03:38Somebody's calling you, you better run.
00:03:40Somebody's calling you, I feel like my time ain't long.
00:03:44Time ain't long.
00:03:46Time ain't long.
00:03:48Well, now, meet me.
00:03:50Good Lord, meet me.
00:03:52To meet me in the middle of the air.
00:03:54One more.
00:03:55Cause now, if these two wings fail me,
00:03:58ought I want to hinge on another path.
00:04:01Well, you better run.
00:04:03I'm gonna hear somebody's calling you, you better run.
00:04:07And when I say somebody's calling you, you better run.
00:04:11Somebody's calling you, I feel like my time ain't long.
00:04:16Time ain't long.
00:04:18Long time ain't long.
00:04:20Well, now, Shadrach say to Meshach.
00:04:23And they said to Abednego.
00:04:26My good Lord.
00:04:27Don't you see how they done, poor old Daniel.
00:04:31We better count up our cause and...
00:04:33Well...
00:04:36The people who went to church and prayed and missed out on a lot of fun stuff got sucked straight up to heaven.
00:04:54And the rest of us...
00:04:55What the fuck?
00:04:56Well, we were screwed.
00:04:59We weren't believers, so I guess that's why we weren't taken.
00:05:03Both my mom and Ben's mom went to church religiously.
00:05:15Well, that's the only way you can go to church.
00:05:17The point is they both got raptured.
00:05:23But, in the only recorded case of such a thing happening,
00:05:26my mother was sent back the very next day.
00:05:30Mom?
00:05:34Laura.
00:05:35I, uh...
00:05:38What happened?
00:05:39I don't know.
00:05:40I wasn't having...
00:05:42Wait, you got sent back?
00:05:44So God, like, returned you?
00:05:46Well, I guess so, yes.
00:05:49Oh.
00:05:50I was just in line.
00:05:52Uh-huh.
00:05:53They were giving out massages.
00:05:54And a guy butt in front of me.
00:05:56He probably didn't butt.
00:05:58He barged right in front of me and he said,
00:06:01I need something in the shoulder.
00:06:03Were you in the right line?
00:06:04I was in the right line.
00:06:05Honey, you're almost never in the right line.
00:06:07Listen to me.
00:06:08It was unprofessional.
00:06:09It was poorly organized.
00:06:11You have this backwards.
00:06:12You go up there to be judged.
00:06:14You don't do the judging.
00:06:15I don't want to be here.
00:06:24All right, Huggy, you just smell like shit.
00:06:27Did anybody vacuum while I was...
00:06:30We all vacuumed.
00:06:32We all vacuumed all the time.
00:06:35Lots of vacuum.
00:06:39And then the torments started.
00:06:43First came these little locusty things.
00:06:46Ow!
00:06:47I hate those little things.
00:06:49Suffer!
00:06:50Suffer!
00:06:51I am suffering.
00:06:52You little butt-
00:06:53Suffer!
00:06:54You're not going anywhere, you little fuckers!
00:06:58If you're wondering,
00:06:59they were impervious to most butt sprays.
00:07:02Suffer!
00:07:03I got an idea!
00:07:06How about you suffer?
00:07:07Suffer!
00:07:08Suffer!
00:07:10What?
00:07:11The apocalypse is killing me!
00:07:14What?
00:07:15What?
00:07:16What?
00:07:17I don't know why!
00:07:18You Jesus freak!
00:07:19Why did you ask God?
00:07:20Oh yeah, I forgot!
00:07:21He doesn't like you!
00:07:23What?
00:07:24What?
00:07:25It's my parents, you guys.
00:07:26I can't stand it anymore!
00:07:28Good times.
00:07:29Then, God in his infinite wisdom did this really gross thing.
00:07:39It just seemed so unsanitary, you know?
00:07:43What is that?
00:07:44Is that?
00:07:45I think it's raining blood.
00:07:47Blood?
00:07:48It's raining blood!
00:07:50That's not disgusting.
00:07:52What the fuck is the point of that?
00:07:54There's no point!
00:07:55Wipers don't work for shit.
00:07:58Try the sprayer thing.
00:07:59Sprayer thing?
00:08:00Oh, well, that's great.
00:08:02Now it's all smeared.
00:08:10The wraiths showed up about a year ago.
00:08:12They were like a nightmare come to life.
00:08:14They went all around the world wrecking everything and killing people.
00:08:18Holy cow.
00:08:20Monsters, man.
00:08:22Real monsters.
00:08:25Without the costumes.
00:08:27Because the costumes are real, you know?
00:08:30So, a lot of people died during the apocalypse.
00:08:34The only one I know who came back was my neighbor, Mr. Murphy.
00:08:40We all thought it was weird that instead of chasing us around trying to eat our delicious brains,
00:08:49all he did was mow his lawn.
00:08:52Maybe it was on his mind when he died.
00:08:54I don't know.
00:08:59Finally, this neighbor got so sick of it that he stole the mower.
00:09:05But then Mr. Murphy just walked around without the mower.
00:09:09This is sad.
00:09:12Hello, Mr. Murphy.
00:09:14Your lawn looks really nice.
00:09:17Have a good day, Mr. Murphy.
00:09:24And just as the Bible predicted, the Antichrist finally showed up.
00:09:28Nobody thought his name would be Earl Gundy, though.
00:09:31Certainly not that he'd be from Idaho.
00:09:33I might take you to rock bottom, but I'm gonna bring you back up.
00:09:35And I guess not really a surprise that the Antichrist was a politician first.
00:09:38Because I'm Earl Gundy, and we can make it.
00:09:41And then he gets invited to the White House.
00:09:44He poisons everyone's sandwiches.
00:09:46And then just starts using our missiles to make everyone in the world obey him.
00:09:52He blew up a bunch of cities.
00:09:53Chicago, Tokyo, London.
00:09:56You know, just to make everybody scared of him.
00:09:59Oh, come on!
00:10:01Not Orlando!
00:10:03Oh, man!
00:10:04Come on!
00:10:05Think of all those ride operators.
00:10:08They're just kids.
00:10:09Oh, and he makes everyone call him the Beast.
00:10:12Because he thinks it makes him sound cool.
00:10:16Everyone thought he was gonna live in some palace in the Middle East.
00:10:19But he settled right here in my hometown.
00:10:22Not biblically referenced Seattle.
00:10:29Overall, I'd say the Book of Revelations got most of what's happened pretty much right.
00:10:33There were some things that happened that weren't predicted.
00:10:36Like the foul-mouthed crows, for instance.
00:10:38Let's start right here.
00:10:39Oh, nice!
00:10:40That's right.
00:10:41Hey, you!
00:10:42Yeah, you!
00:10:43Fuck you!
00:10:44Ha!
00:10:45Ben, baby, just ignore that.
00:10:46Man, I hate those guys.
00:10:47I mean, why do we just let them insult us like this?
00:10:48I know.
00:10:49Hey, shit!
00:10:50Fucker!
00:10:51Hold up.
00:10:52Nope.
00:10:53Mm-mm.
00:10:54Not worth it.
00:10:55Hey, homie!
00:10:56And don't forget the balls!
00:10:57Ha!
00:10:58Yeah, don't forget my balls, you stupid crow!
00:10:59I'm sorry.
00:11:00You're right.
00:11:01It's not worth it.
00:11:02Yeah, walk away, pussy!
00:11:03Ha!
00:11:04Ha!
00:11:05Ha!
00:11:06Ha!
00:11:07Ha!
00:11:08Ha!
00:11:09Ha!
00:11:10Ha!
00:11:11Ha!
00:11:12I just don't think that that bird knows what he's saying.
00:11:13Yeah, I...
00:11:14Belching, he doesn't know what that means.
00:11:15It's just a noise coming out of their mouth.
00:11:16Ha!
00:11:17Ha!
00:11:18Fuck them!
00:11:19No, no, no, no.
00:11:20Fuck!
00:11:21Fuck!
00:11:22Fuck!
00:11:23Fuck!
00:11:24Fuck!
00:11:25Ah!
00:11:30Ben and I had this idea of starting our own sandwich cart.
00:11:32Yeah.
00:11:33Because, you know, people appreciate a good sandwich,
00:11:35even when the world is ending.
00:11:37Maybe, especially when the world is ending.
00:11:40Oh, that one's better.
00:11:42It's the horseradish.
00:11:43Mmm.
00:11:44I couldn't find any mustard, though.
00:11:45I think it goes well with it.
00:11:46Oh, truly.
00:11:47I'm trying to make that play.
00:11:49Stay calm.
00:11:50It's okay.
00:11:51After a while, you just get used to the locusts and the blood rain and...
00:12:02Oh, and the fiery rocks falling from the sky.
00:12:07Is that Trevor Burdick?
00:12:10Oh, yeah, I think it is.
00:12:15Trevor, get inside, man!
00:12:17I ain't scared!
00:12:19Bring it out!
00:12:21Wow, he's so dumb.
00:12:22An idiot.
00:12:23Trevor!
00:12:24Trevor!
00:12:25Trevor!
00:12:45That was horrible.
00:12:47Yeah.
00:12:48Well...
00:12:49What?
00:12:50No, it's horrible.
00:12:51It's terrible.
00:12:52What were you gonna say?
00:12:53Nothing.
00:12:54What were you gonna say?
00:12:56I mean, come on.
00:12:57The guy's standing there with his hands up, yelling, bring it on.
00:13:01He's stupid.
00:13:02He's an idiot.
00:13:03Am I wrong?
00:13:04No, that's not funny.
00:13:05That's a...
00:13:06It's human life, you know.
00:13:07Dumb, dumb human life.
00:13:09No, that's not funny, Ben.
00:13:10That's sad.
00:13:11He's a dummy.
00:13:12You want to, uh...
00:13:15Yeah.
00:13:16Later, baby.
00:13:17My parents are gonna be home any second.
00:13:19Later?
00:13:20Like...
00:13:21No.
00:13:22No?
00:13:23See?
00:13:24Come on.
00:13:25Kill me.
00:13:26The therapy helping your mom at all?
00:13:29Yeah, she seems to be crying a lot less.
00:13:31She still says why a lot, though.
00:13:32Oh, that's good.
00:13:34Rocked.
00:13:35Baby.
00:13:36Come on.
00:13:37Sounds close.
00:13:38You go upstairs.
00:13:39He kicks you right back down.
00:13:40You might as well have the...
00:13:49Dad!
00:13:50Dad!
00:14:10Why?
00:14:11Why?
00:14:12Why?
00:14:13Why?
00:14:14Why?
00:14:15Why?
00:14:16Oh, my...
00:14:17My eggs!
00:14:18My eggs!
00:14:19That day was the worst day of my life.
00:14:23Which is saying something in the apocalypse.
00:14:26I didn't know how to feel.
00:14:33The apocalypse was hard and stressful for everybody.
00:14:36Well, not everybody.
00:14:37My brother, Clark, and his idiot friend, Fry, were actually into it.
00:14:42But I think that's because they were idiots before the rapture, so...
00:14:46Where are you going, Clark?
00:14:48Oh, uh, Fry and I go hide the blood river.
00:14:50I don't think that's a good idea, Clark.
00:14:52Whatever.
00:14:53Clark!
00:14:55Hey, Clark.
00:14:56Come on.
00:14:57Hey, buddy.
00:14:58Be careful out on the river, okay?
00:15:00Because your mom could seriously not handle anything bad.
00:15:03Dude!
00:15:04Suck it.
00:15:05Keep any open wounds covered.
00:15:07I'm going to have an ass wipe.
00:15:08I don't know why.
00:15:09Be careful of the wraiths, Clark!
00:15:13The wraiths have been here a while now, and they're still bad, I guess.
00:15:17Like, some of them still work for the beasts.
00:15:19But a lot of them are basically unemployed, and they don't really have anything to do.
00:15:23Hey, Clark.
00:15:24So, a lot of them have become serious potheads.
00:15:27You know, joints or a bag.
00:15:31Dude, forget it.
00:15:32You sold me here for the last bag.
00:15:33Look, I'll pay you.
00:15:34No, forget it.
00:15:35I will destroy you.
00:15:38We will destroy you.
00:15:40Wow, I'm so scared right now.
00:15:41Just one joint, man.
00:15:42Fuck, fine.
00:15:43Here you go.
00:15:44Thanks, man.
00:15:45Bro.
00:15:55You still seeing Catherine?
00:15:56Yeah.
00:15:57She's intense.
00:15:58You shouldn't let bitches push you around.
00:16:01Everyone was struggling to get by now, except the people who made a deal with the devil.
00:16:06I mean, they were on his payroll.
00:16:08Like Ben's dad.
00:16:09And you've recently split from your wife of eight years, Kimberly.
00:16:12Why?
00:16:13Well, she's kind of a stupid vapid whore, Liz.
00:16:16I'm just kidding.
00:16:17No, I'm not.
00:16:18And now she's off in Los Angeles trying to be an actress.
00:16:22Good luck.
00:16:23I prefer to be right here in Seattle.
00:16:26Go Mariners.
00:16:27Are there any romantic prospects released?
00:16:30Well, the problem with most of the women, I mean, is that they're all sluts.
00:16:35You know, and I'm looking for somebody who's, you know, old-fashioned.
00:16:40The girl next door.
00:16:42You know, with a nice rack and a nice round.
00:16:44Ah.
00:16:45See?
00:16:46Right there.
00:16:47Can't see you.
00:16:48I'm right there, behind him.
00:16:49Right there, with a mustache.
00:16:50Oh, yeah.
00:16:51Yeah.
00:16:52Not bad, huh?
00:16:54Your old man's on global TV there, Benjamin.
00:16:57You know, if you ask my opinion, the guy's gotten a bad rap.
00:17:02He's the antichrist, Ted.
00:17:04Ugh.
00:17:05He's the antichrist.
00:17:06He's the antichrist.
00:17:07I'm just saying.
00:17:08He's done a couple of good things, so sue me.
00:17:11Like what?
00:17:12Seriously.
00:17:13Like what?
00:17:14Okay, well, for instance, um, he abolished the penny.
00:17:17He's the most evil individual who's ever lived, Mr. H.
00:17:19Wow, you know what?
00:17:20The most evil individual who's ever lived is paying the bills around here.
00:17:24Whatever.
00:17:25I'm just saying.
00:17:26He's not as bad as everybody says.
00:17:27That's all.
00:17:28He blew up Chicago, Mr. H.
00:17:30I'm not saying I support everything he's done, Lindsey.
00:17:33I was against that.
00:17:34I was totally against that.
00:17:36And I said so at the time.
00:17:37There's no good reason to blow up Chicago.
00:17:40Except for the food, the weather, and the people.
00:17:42Okay, now you're defending him blowing up Chicago.
00:17:44No, I'm not, Ben.
00:17:45I'm just providing context.
00:17:49You know what?
00:17:50You guys should come work with me.
00:17:52Then you'd see the deal.
00:17:53No, we're not gonna be beastly guards, Dad.
00:17:56You don't have to be a beastly guard.
00:17:57You could work in the, uh, the shop.
00:18:00And you could do the kitchen with the other gals.
00:18:02Yeah, a couple guys just quit.
00:18:04Well, they didn't quit, per se.
00:18:07They were laid off.
00:18:08Let go.
00:18:10Killed.
00:18:11Sounds great.
00:18:12Look, they were working against him, Ben.
00:18:14I mean, what's he supposed to do?
00:18:16Give him a raise?
00:18:18You're so morally lost.
00:18:20Hey, kiddo, I'm just saying that's the way the world works.
00:18:23And, hey, you're not exactly raking in the dough at the homeless shelter.
00:18:27Somebody has to help those people, Mr. H.
00:18:29Are you trying to be good or something so that you get raptured?
00:18:32Because I'm telling you, kids, that was a one-time dealie, okay?
00:18:36And this one up here.
00:18:39Forget about it.
00:18:40You're not going anywhere.
00:18:41With all the carrying on in your room, you'd think masturbating powered the lights around here.
00:18:47Hey, I'm not going anywhere either, Ben, okay?
00:18:49Your mommy's gonna be up there all by her lonesome.
00:18:52Miss you, babe.
00:18:53We're gonna work on the sandwich cart.
00:18:55Uh-huh.
00:18:56Hey, health insurance.
00:18:57Dental.
00:18:58They cover acupuncture, Lindsay.
00:19:00Thanks for the pizza.
00:19:01I never liked you.
00:19:05Kids.
00:19:06Whoa, it's an embarrassing rapture.
00:19:08The rapture show's on.
00:19:09Get him.
00:19:10What the ?
00:19:11This guy's on a toilet.
00:19:13I saw it coming and I still left.
00:19:26You know, I was thinking if this goes well and we make a little money, I think we should
00:19:34move out of our parents and get a place together.
00:19:37Yeah?
00:19:38Yeah.
00:19:39Maybe get married and start a family.
00:19:42I mean, would you really want kids?
00:19:47In the world like this?
00:19:50Things are bound to get better at some point, right?
00:19:53So, maybe that point's right now.
00:20:02Just humor me.
00:20:03I'll humor you.
00:20:04Come on, come inside.
00:20:12Are you kidding me?
00:20:23What the fuck?
00:20:25I'm fucking done with this shit!
00:20:29No, come on.
00:20:30Are you okay?
00:20:31Are you okay?
00:20:32I'm sorry.
00:20:33I really, really loved that food cart.
00:20:35I did, Ben.
00:20:36I did.
00:20:37I did.
00:20:38I did.
00:20:39I very much wanted to see you kids succeed at that.
00:20:41But, I mean, let's not kid ourselves here.
00:20:42It is not easy to make money these days.
00:20:43Well, we're only going to do it until we have enough money to rebuild the cart, Dad.
00:20:44Absolutely.
00:20:45Absolutely.
00:20:46A month max.
00:20:47Mm.
00:20:48But, you know, people are taking cardio all the time, and, uh...
00:20:50There he is.
00:20:51Hey!
00:20:52How's it going today?
00:20:53Oh, let's see.
00:20:54Oh, this is yours.
00:20:55Yeah.
00:20:56Dickhead.
00:20:57Nah.
00:20:58Choose it right there.
00:20:59That's not what it says.
00:21:00What are these?
00:21:01This is my son and his girlfriend.
00:21:02Just...
00:21:03Oh, let's see.
00:21:04Oh, let's see.
00:21:05Oh, let's see.
00:21:06Oh, let's see.
00:21:07Oh, let's see.
00:21:08Oh, this is yours.
00:21:09Yeah.
00:21:10Dickhead.
00:21:11Nah.
00:21:12Choose it right there.
00:21:13That's not what it says.
00:21:14What are these?
00:21:15This is my son and his girlfriend.
00:21:17Just...
00:21:18Bringing them to work today.
00:21:19Father's an asshole.
00:21:20So you know.
00:21:25We have fun.
00:21:26No, we don't.
00:21:27He's just having fun.
00:21:28No, I'm not.
00:21:29A real joker, this one.
00:21:30Not with this guy.
00:21:34Got a minivan coming in.
00:21:36Not a minivan.
00:21:37It's soccer mom coming through.
00:21:38Not a minivan.
00:21:42Okay, well...
00:21:43Fuck you.
00:21:44Fuck me.
00:21:45Fuck you.
00:21:46You're a real asshole.
00:21:55The Beast isn't here, so...
00:21:56He's kind of chill.
00:21:58And pretty cool your old man to be showing you around on his day off, huh?
00:22:02I am gonna put you kids by the pool area.
00:22:03It's a very quick back assignment.
00:22:04You're gonna love it.
00:22:05Hey, Margie.
00:22:06Flowers look great.
00:22:07Now, don't look anybody in the eye, okay?
00:22:08I'm serious.
00:22:09Don't look anybody in the eye.
00:22:10Okay.
00:22:11This is it.
00:22:12This is the pool.
00:22:13Gorgeous, huh?
00:22:14You gotta be careful, because there are landmines all over the place.
00:22:15Holy dick and balls.
00:22:16What is it?
00:22:17The Beast.
00:22:18He's coming down.
00:22:19What for?
00:22:20What?
00:22:21I have no idea.
00:22:22Okay, but listen.
00:22:23Whatever he says, you just say yes.
00:22:24Let's go, guys.
00:22:25Line it up.
00:22:26So don't say anything.
00:22:27Don't even say yes.
00:22:28Okay?
00:22:29I'll say yes.
00:22:30Hey, Morgan.
00:22:31No matter what happens, you say yes.
00:22:33I know the deal.
00:22:34We know the deal.
00:22:35I know the deal.
00:22:36I know the deal.
00:22:37What?
00:22:38And you gotta be careful, because there are land mines all over the place.
00:22:41There's a landmines all over the place.
00:22:43Holy dick and balls.
00:22:44What is it?
00:22:45The Beast.
00:22:46He's coming down.
00:22:47What for?
00:22:48What?
00:22:49I have no idea.
00:22:50Okay, but listen.
00:22:51Whatever he says, you just say yes.
00:22:53Let's go, guys.
00:22:54Line it up.
00:22:55We know the deal.
00:22:57All clear here, boss!
00:23:25This is my son, Little Beast.
00:23:39Well, what a treat for me.
00:23:41Delightful to meet you, young man.
00:23:42A real chip off the old block.
00:23:44You are handsome and intelligent.
00:23:45Little Beast has some special requirements for the pool area.
00:23:49Uh, I'm sorry?
00:23:50The pool area.
00:23:52You heard me say pool area, right?
00:23:54Yes.
00:23:54Where are we standing right now?
00:23:55The pool area?
00:23:56Yeah.
00:23:56The motherfucking pool!
00:23:57Shut up!
00:23:58Okay.
00:23:59But, uh...
00:24:00Yeah.
00:24:01I'm not...
00:24:01Are you dumb or just stupid?
00:24:05Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
00:24:07The pool area.
00:24:07What, uh, what can I do you for?
00:24:09Tell them what you want, Little Beast.
00:24:10The Beast!
00:24:11Hey, Earl!
00:24:12Ah!
00:24:13You never called me back.
00:24:14Kim.
00:24:14I have done so much...
00:24:15Kim, slow down.
00:24:16Tell them what you want.
00:24:17I'm not one of your little...
00:24:18Kim, stop.
00:24:18I want a big slide.
00:24:20Kim.
00:24:20Okay.
00:24:21Hey, Earl!
00:24:21My name is not Earl, okay?
00:24:24It's Beast.
00:24:25Do the shit what you want to call yourself.
00:24:27You're still an asshole.
00:24:28I will fuck your shit up!
00:24:30Goodbye, Kimberly.
00:24:31Don't you fucking hang up on me.
00:24:33Don't you fucking...
00:24:33Anything else, Little Beast?
00:24:36I hate you.
00:24:37I wish you were dead.
00:24:38Ah-ha!
00:24:38Ha-ha!
00:24:39Very funny.
00:24:40Right back at you, kid.
00:24:41We'll need this done by next week.
00:24:42You got it?
00:24:43Yes, of course.
00:24:44Back to the cart, Little Beast.
00:24:46Next week.
00:24:47No!
00:24:47Who's your assistant contractor?
00:24:52Huh?
00:24:53Oh, nobody.
00:24:53That's my son, Ben.
00:24:55No.
00:24:55Not Rachel Maddow.
00:24:57That is his girlfriend, Lindsay.
00:25:11I'm a pool contractor now.
00:25:12Shut your mouth.
00:25:13What am I supposed to do?
00:25:18This is what I do with every day.
00:25:20Welcome, Lindsay.
00:25:22Uh, thank you.
00:25:23Can I get you anything?
00:25:24Some iced tea?
00:25:27Mocha latte?
00:25:28Hot dog?
00:25:30Corn on the cob?
00:25:31Sausage?
00:25:32Other dick-shaped food?
00:25:35No, thank you.
00:25:36I'm fine.
00:25:37Yes, yes, you are.
00:25:38He's a children's asshole, but he's an asshole.
00:25:43You son of a bitch, not for leaving me out to dry.
00:25:45Want to go for a walk around the premises?
00:25:48Oh, I just...
00:25:51I'm not a man you want to say no to, my dear.
00:25:55Oh.
00:25:56Come on, come.
00:25:57Come.
00:25:58No pun intended.
00:26:00Okay, pun very much intended.
00:26:02I won't bite you.
00:26:03Come on.
00:26:04Okay.
00:26:05Back to work, contractor.
00:26:10Yes, sir.
00:26:11Back to the house, little beast.
00:26:12But, Dad!
00:26:14Get the fuck back in the house now!
00:26:17You fucker.
00:26:19Fuck.
00:26:20We are traveling.
00:26:21We are traveling.
00:26:22Fuck.
00:26:25Fuck.
00:26:26This is bullshit.
00:26:27Don't.
00:26:28Don't.
00:26:28No.
00:26:29Don't.
00:26:29Don't.
00:26:33Listen, these people will kill you as soon as last.
00:26:35Look at you.
00:26:35I'm not going to let the antichrist steal my girlfriend, Dad.
00:26:37Oh, come on!
00:26:38What are you going to do?
00:26:40Challenge him to a fight?
00:26:41I don't know.
00:26:42But I'm going to do something.
00:26:43No, you're not.
00:26:44No, you're not.
00:26:45Look, they're just talking.
00:26:46You need to believe in me, Dad.
00:26:48Believe in you, Ben?
00:26:49Really?
00:26:50Yes.
00:26:51Come on.
00:26:53You are delicious.
00:26:54You know that?
00:26:55I bet your vagina tastes like pistachio mint ice cream.
00:26:59Oh.
00:26:59No fat.
00:27:00So tell me, Lindsay, what's a gorgeous girl like yourself doing in a job like this?
00:27:07Well, my boyfriend, Ben, and I were...
00:27:09Ex-boyfriend.
00:27:11I'm just kidding.
00:27:12Not really.
00:27:13Go ahead.
00:27:15Yeah, we were starting this sandwich business, and our cart got crushed by one of those falling
00:27:20rocks.
00:27:21Oh!
00:27:22Bad luck.
00:27:23Right, so now we're just working with his dad.
00:27:27Bad luck for you, but good luck for me.
00:27:30Huh?
00:27:31You know who you look like?
00:27:32You look like a cross between, like, Scarlett Johansson and Hilary Swank.
00:27:37Anybody ever tell you that, Lindsay?
00:27:39No.
00:27:40You've got to be kidding me.
00:27:42Look, you.
00:27:43Who she look like?
00:27:44What'd you say?
00:27:45Scarlett Johansson and Hilary Swank.
00:27:46Fucking, yeah.
00:27:47Shut up.
00:27:48Both lovely, lovely ladies with lovely, lovely racks, like yourself.
00:27:51I have a wonderful, spontaneous idea.
00:28:00Let's have sex in these bushes right here.
00:28:02What?
00:28:03Yeah.
00:28:03What you think?
00:28:05Don't fight the impulse now, Lindsay.
00:28:07No, I don't.
00:28:07That's okay.
00:28:08I don't.
00:28:08No, thank you.
00:28:09I really don't want to do that.
00:28:12What?
00:28:12I don't want to do that.
00:28:13Why not?
00:28:14Why not?
00:28:15I think you do.
00:28:16I, no, I...
00:28:18Come on, why not?
00:28:20So many reasons.
00:28:21I, uh, I just don't...
00:28:23You don't want to do that.
00:28:24I don't, I don't...
00:28:25What are you, a virgin?
00:28:29You are?
00:28:32Really?
00:28:34Well, yeah.
00:28:35Whoa, a virgin?
00:28:37Whoa!
00:28:38You hear that?
00:28:39That's hard to find.
00:28:40Winner, are you a virgin?
00:28:42That's great.
00:28:43Honey, needed a slap.
00:28:44Girl's gonna give it up to you, sir.
00:28:46Shut your mouth!
00:28:47I'm so sorry.
00:28:49Where are your sunglasses?
00:28:49Mine fell in the koi pond.
00:28:53It's not like, it's not a big deal.
00:28:55No, it is to me.
00:28:57Yeah.
00:28:58You gotta take it through the hole, sir.
00:28:59Mm-hmm.
00:29:01I probably shouldn't have said anything.
00:29:02No, no, I get it, I get it.
00:29:04You want your first time to be special, beautiful.
00:29:09Yeah.
00:29:11And so it will be.
00:29:12I promise you, your first time, no anal.
00:29:15This way, my dear.
00:29:20I don't care, Dad.
00:29:22I'm gonna punch that guy in the face.
00:29:24Ben, come on, be reasonable.
00:29:26No, I am.
00:29:27What the hell?
00:29:30Oh, shit.
00:29:36We just met, though, so...
00:29:37I know.
00:29:39And at first, I swear, I thought you were just another hot piece of ass, but a virgin.
00:29:43Oh, that is really something.
00:29:45Man, fuck y'all.
00:29:54That's rude.
00:29:56You know, I'm...
00:29:56I'm no good at this type of thing, but fuck it.
00:30:01Marry me, Lindsay.
00:30:02Marry me and become the mother of my evil offspring.
00:30:05What?
00:30:05I know!
00:30:06Call me impetuous, call me an incurable romantic,
00:30:09but something in my gut tells me you're the one for me.
00:30:13Okay, you...
00:30:14Well, you already have a son, though, so...
00:30:15Little Beast is a dud.
00:30:17I need more children.
00:30:19A minibus full, you know?
00:30:22You all right, Ben?
00:30:27You hit me with a shovel?
00:30:29Only a little bit?
00:30:33You having reservations, aren't you, my dear?
00:30:36Yes.
00:30:36I can tell.
00:30:37This is a horse.
00:30:38It's big.
00:30:39I want to show you something, Lindsay.
00:30:41Not that, not yet.
00:30:44You will see my penis later.
00:30:45Oh.
00:30:48I'm gonna get that guy.
00:30:49Ben, come on!
00:30:51What, you're gonna hit me again?
00:30:52Come on.
00:30:54Shit.
00:30:55Shit.
00:30:57Ah, gotta get out of here.
00:31:00I know exactly what you're worried about, Lindsay.
00:31:03You do?
00:31:04But, Mr. Beast, as much as I'm attracted to you, and I am, the truth is, I'm scared.
00:31:12Ow.
00:31:12If I marry you and become your evil queen, won't people despise me?
00:31:16Won't I become a target, just like you?
00:31:19And unlike you, if I'm killed, I won't return as Satan.
00:31:23Why am I using the air cords?
00:31:26I will be Satan.
00:31:29Yeah, um, actually...
00:31:30Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:31:32You will become a target, but there's a weapon here that very few people know about.
00:31:38That's a...
00:31:40That's a real, live, XGL, TL, GL, laser beam, or something.
00:31:52Right?
00:31:52See, there's this rumor going around, this prediction of sorts, that before long, someone
00:31:58who shall remain nameless, Jesus, is gonna come down from the sky and vanquish me.
00:32:05Oh.
00:32:05Yeah, but I don't think so.
00:32:07Oh, oh, wow.
00:32:11See that crow?
00:32:12Fuckers, top-line salad!
00:32:15Okay.
00:32:17Primer, set.
00:32:20Oh, shit!
00:32:22Yeah!
00:32:24Yeah!
00:32:26Bam!
00:32:28Yeah!
00:32:29Toss my salad, crow!
00:32:31Suck my balls!
00:32:32That big motherfucker up there has no idea who he's dealing with.
00:32:36I call it my you-know-who buster.
00:32:40Uh-huh.
00:32:41Excuse me.
00:32:42Oh.
00:32:43So, you see, my dear, you would be perfectly safe here with me.
00:32:50Huh.
00:32:50Uh, so what'd he say?
00:32:53No.
00:32:56Um, fine.
00:32:59I understand.
00:33:02Um, of course I gotta kill everyone you know, starting with your boyfriend and his father.
00:33:09What?
00:33:10Your choice, my dear.
00:33:12No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:33:13Uh, if I could just have, like, a little time to think about it.
00:33:18Of course.
00:33:19You have eight hours.
00:33:22And in that time, if you're not back here ready to marry me and bear my evil children, I'll kill everyone you know.
00:33:27Sound fair?
00:33:30Okay.
00:33:31Oh, I feel so good about this.
00:33:34Don't you?
00:33:36Take the rest of the day off, Lindsey.
00:33:39Get ready for tonight.
00:33:40Paint your toenails, trim your bush, bleach your asshole, douche, whatever.
00:33:45Eight hours, remember?
00:33:47Oh!
00:33:48Don't kill me bush too much now.
00:33:50Okay.
00:33:52I do, Lindsey.
00:33:54I do.
00:33:56Bye.
00:34:00Toodaloo!
00:34:00Slow this bitch down!
00:34:04Fucker with my vertigo, motherfucker.
00:34:08Jesus, Dad.
00:34:09I'm not saying it's good or right, Benjamin.
00:34:12I'm just saying he's the Antichrist here, and you're you.
00:34:16You know what I'm saying.
00:34:17He's like a god, which is ironic, if you think about it.
00:34:22Maybe, maybe Lindsey will like it.
00:34:24Huh?
00:34:24Lindsey's not gonna like it.
00:34:25How do you know?
00:34:26Because she likes me, right?
00:34:28You don't like him.
00:34:29Hey, hey.
00:34:29How do we know anything?
00:34:31No, I know she likes me.
00:34:33Why would you like me?
00:34:34That's what you sound like right now.
00:34:35Why would you mock me?
00:34:36You're such a terrible father.
00:34:40Hey, Lindsey.
00:34:42Um, I just wanted to say that, uh, you know, ever since your father was, well, squashed by
00:34:49a big, giant rock, I feel like a father to you, you know?
00:34:53And as your father, I feel like I just have to say, I just think you have to go with the
00:34:59beast here.
00:35:00Thanks for the advice.
00:35:01And of course, if you don't, and he kills Ben and I, and not to mention your mom and
00:35:04your brother, and who knows who else, then as long as you're happy with that, that is
00:35:09all that matters, you know?
00:35:12Because that means your honor was more important to you than we are.
00:35:16She's not going to go with the beast, Ed.
00:35:18I know, Ben.
00:35:19I know.
00:35:21Mm-hmm.
00:35:24Your mom's going to have a meltdown, you know.
00:35:27Maybe not.
00:35:27We're cursed, Lindsey.
00:35:30Cursed.
00:35:32Why?
00:35:32Why, Lindsey?
00:35:33Why are we so cursed?
00:35:35Why?
00:35:36Why?
00:35:36Why?
00:35:37Why?
00:35:38Maybe because you're, like, so annoying.
00:35:40I am not annoying.
00:35:42Clark, I am a woman with feelings.
00:35:45Oh, my God.
00:35:45I'm going to be in love with the antichrist.
00:35:48Poor me.
00:35:49I like to cry all the time.
00:35:50I hate Clark.
00:35:51Mom, just do with it, okay?
00:35:52God.
00:35:53Why?
00:35:54Be nicer to Mom.
00:35:57Good, man, it's about your problem.
00:35:58This is what you've got to do.
00:35:59You go with this beast guy, you have a great night out,
00:36:00and at the end, you fucking knife the shit out of him.
00:36:03If I knife him, he comes back as Satan.
00:36:05Okay, then fucking knife Satan, too.
00:36:06I don't know.
00:36:06Just keep on knifeing.
00:36:07Don't stop.
00:36:07That's not going to work.
00:36:08Oh, what's up, man?
00:36:09What's up, dude?
00:36:09Oh, my sister's supposed to marry the beast.
00:36:11Oh, congrats, man.
00:36:12That's great.
00:36:12No, we're going to kill him.
00:36:13Hey, she should knife him.
00:36:15Yeah, I just said that.
00:36:16She should fucking knife him.
00:36:16Fucking knife him.
00:36:17Just grab a knife and just start fucking knifeing him.
00:36:19I need some weed, man.
00:36:30You've got a serious problem with pot, you know that, Ray?
00:36:32What?
00:36:33Me?
00:36:34Come on, guys.
00:36:36It's me, Vic.
00:36:37When was the last time you went, like, one day without weed?
00:36:40Uh, yesterday.
00:36:41Really?
00:36:42Okay, never.
00:36:44If you're going to do this much, you should really get a vaporizer, okay?
00:36:46I know.
00:36:47It's a cry for help, and you know it.
00:36:55Mommy, are you okay?
00:36:57I mean, I just, uh...
00:36:59Do it, Lindsay.
00:37:01Do it, the beast.
00:37:02Please.
00:37:03Please.
00:37:03Please.
00:37:04Please.
00:37:04Mom!
00:37:05Please!
00:37:05I can't stand another bad thing happening to this family.
00:37:07I can't stand it!
00:37:08I can't stand it!
00:37:09I can't stand it!
00:37:10Oh!
00:37:11I'm not marrying that evil idiot, okay?
00:37:13He's not killing everybody I love.
00:37:14There is a plan to deal with this,
00:37:16and Ben and I are going to think of it.
00:37:17Okay.
00:37:17Okay?
00:37:18Okay.
00:37:18If you're going to stand there crying and being a drama queen,
00:37:20at least do it while you're making us coffee, okay?
00:37:22Okay.
00:37:23I love you.
00:37:24I'm sorry I hit you.
00:37:26Bye.
00:37:27Bye, Ben.
00:37:29I'm going to make coffee!
00:37:32What about that guy you knew?
00:37:33Uh, the mob guy, Gina Pagano?
00:37:35It's a good idea.
00:37:36He got raptured, though.
00:37:37He did?
00:37:38I'm starting to think that maybe we should have just gone to church with our moms.
00:37:42Believed, you know?
00:37:43Yeah, but if you don't, you don't, you know?
00:37:45What if we really are cursed?
00:37:46We're not.
00:37:47But what if we are?
00:37:48We're not.
00:37:48We have gotten through a lot.
00:37:50We're going to get through this.
00:37:51Uh-huh.
00:37:52Because we just are.
00:37:52Yeah, yeah.
00:37:53And if I have to fucking kick the antichrist ass myself, I will.
00:37:56I know.
00:37:57I'll do it.
00:37:57I know.
00:37:59Did you find anything?
00:38:00Well, we definitely can't kill him because of the hole possessed by Satan.
00:38:02Right.
00:38:03The only ones who can kill, kill him are Jesus and God, right?
00:38:05Right, but it does seem like he could be locked up.
00:38:08Really?
00:38:09Yeah, that's what's going to happen, apparently.
00:38:11It's going to be locked up for a thousand years.
00:38:12By God.
00:38:13Yes.
00:38:14Why for just a thousand years?
00:38:15Why not forever?
00:38:16That's just what it says.
00:38:17See, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
00:38:18Makes no fucking sense at all.
00:38:20You have him.
00:38:21Why would you let him go?
00:38:22I don't know.
00:38:23This shit, it just seems so pieced together.
00:38:26You know, did anyone think it through?
00:38:28Wait, why couldn't we do this?
00:38:30Do you what, lock him up?
00:38:34Sure.
00:38:35How?
00:38:38Okay, well, you remember how Buster was like a total escape artist and my dad had to build
00:38:42in that completely escape-proof kennel?
00:38:47Yeah.
00:38:53Wouldn't he yell?
00:38:54Fuck you!
00:38:55You will suffer forever!
00:38:56Well, even if he did, you know, nobody likes him.
00:38:59He's the Antichrist, who'd help him.
00:39:01That's true, that's true.
00:39:02What if he got out, though?
00:39:03We just have to be incredibly careful that he didn't.
00:39:06Yeah, like tell everybody-
00:39:07Remember to always-
00:39:09Always.
00:39:09Always keep the Antichrist locked up.
00:39:12Yeah.
00:39:15You know, maybe over time, we could, like, turn him good.
00:39:20How?
00:39:20We could get him, like, a little pet.
00:39:22You know what you're doing on my books?
00:39:25You adorable little scamp.
00:39:26I think after, like, 50 years, he's not even gonna be that bad.
00:39:30Chocolate chip cookies, kids?
00:39:32Yeah.
00:39:34Thank you, Uncle Beast.
00:39:36You hungry little motherfuckers.
00:39:39Wait, Linz.
00:39:40No.
00:39:41How are we gonna do this?
00:39:42What do you mean?
00:39:44Well, think about it.
00:39:44I mean, I'd have to get onto the property, right?
00:39:48Past all the wraiths and the beastly guards.
00:39:50Right, and the beastly guards kill everybody they see.
00:39:52Everybody.
00:39:53We'd need someone who couldn't be killed.
00:39:55And who can't be killed.
00:40:07Excuse me, Mr. Murphy?
00:40:08Oh.
00:40:10Hi.
00:40:10We're wondering if we could just talk to you for a minute.
00:40:15Just mowing my lawn here.
00:40:17Right, and it looks great, as always.
00:40:19But, um, we were wondering.
00:40:21Well, we actually need your help, sir.
00:40:24What?
00:40:25Yeah, see, you're really the only one who can help us,
00:40:27because you're dead.
00:40:29Dead?
00:40:31Uh.
00:40:31Who's dead?
00:40:34Uh.
00:40:34Nobody.
00:40:36He isn't.
00:40:37Uh.
00:40:37I'm just mowing my lawn here.
00:40:38Right, but we were wondering.
00:40:41Just mowing my lawn here!
00:40:45Dude, you're dead.
00:40:47You're dead.
00:40:48Plus, you have no lawnmower.
00:40:50You're pushing nothing.
00:40:51Mm-hmm.
00:40:53Mr. Murphy?
00:40:55Okay?
00:40:56I don't think it's helping.
00:40:58You're dead.
00:40:59You're dead.
00:40:59Wait, stay here.
00:41:00I have an idea.
00:41:01I'm going to run out of here.
00:41:03I can't.
00:41:07Hey.
00:41:09Hey, Dad.
00:41:11What are you doing?
00:41:13Can I borrow the truck, Dad?
00:41:15Yeah, what for?
00:41:17To take Lindsay to the beasts.
00:41:20Yeah.
00:41:21She's going with him.
00:41:21Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!
00:41:24Ah!
00:41:26Bitch!
00:41:28Oh!
00:41:30Oh, God!
00:41:32I'm so proud of you!
00:41:34I'm so relieved.
00:41:36I'm so relieved she's gonna fuck him.
00:41:38Yeah.
00:41:39Good for her.
00:41:41So, uh, what's, uh, what's all this?
00:41:45Oh.
00:41:46Thing is, he's demanding a dowry.
00:41:49A dowry?
00:41:50Yeah, isn't that weird?
00:41:51Yeah, well, uh, it's old-fashioned, for sure.
00:41:55Uh, but nice.
00:41:56Exactly.
00:41:57So.
00:41:58Hey, uh, Ben?
00:41:59Yeah?
00:42:00So you're gonna give him the mower?
00:42:03Well, what do you get the guy who has everything?
00:42:07Yeah.
00:42:09What's really going on here?
00:42:11Nothing.
00:42:12Like, I mean, the dowry.
00:42:14Yeah, I don't believe you.
00:42:17We're gonna fight him.
00:42:19Oh, God!
00:42:20Ben!
00:42:21No.
00:42:22Don't be ridiculous!
00:42:23No, listen.
00:42:24We have a plan.
00:42:25Oh!
00:42:26Oh!
00:42:27Oh!
00:42:28You have a plan!
00:42:29What is it?
00:42:30We're gonna lock him in a kennel.
00:42:31You can do that.
00:42:32You can keep him prisoner for a thousand years.
00:42:34Oh!
00:42:35Oh!
00:42:36Oh!
00:42:37I didn't know.
00:42:38I didn't know that you could lock the Antichrist in a fucking kennel!
00:42:47For a thousand years!
00:42:49You dumb, empty, retarded, mongoloid, idiot child!
00:42:54Dad, it's gonna work.
00:42:55Well, what if it doesn't work?
00:42:56Huh?
00:42:57You have a backup plan?
00:42:58It will work.
00:42:59It won't work!
00:43:00You don't have a backup plan!
00:43:02I don't need one.
00:43:03Stop it!
00:43:04Well, I can't let you do this, Ben.
00:43:07Well, you're gonna have to, so...
00:43:09Oh, I'm gonna have to, huh?
00:43:10Yeah.
00:43:12Put down the shovel, Ben.
00:43:14You gonna hit me with a rake now?
00:43:15Come on.
00:43:16Put it down.
00:43:17Oh!
00:43:18Oh!
00:43:19Oh!
00:43:20Oh!
00:43:21Oh!
00:43:22Oh!
00:43:23Oh!
00:43:24Oh!
00:43:25Oh!
00:43:26Oh!
00:43:27Oh!
00:43:28Oh!
00:43:29Oh!
00:43:30Oh!
00:43:31Oh!
00:43:32Oh!
00:43:33Oh!
00:43:34Oh!
00:43:35Oh!
00:43:36Oh!
00:43:37Oh!
00:43:38Oh!
00:43:39Oh!
00:43:40Oh!
00:43:41Oh!
00:43:42What's he doing now?
00:43:43He got really freaked out after you left, and he just started doing that.
00:43:47Mr. Murphy, sir!
00:43:48Nope!
00:43:49Not talking to you!
00:43:50Can I show you something?
00:43:51Nope!
00:43:52I think you'll like it.
00:43:53Nope!
00:43:54Nope!
00:43:55Nope!
00:43:56Nope!
00:43:57Nope!
00:43:58Nope!
00:43:59Nope!
00:44:00He smells really bad.
00:44:06You like it?
00:44:09Tears if you want it.
00:44:10All you have to do is keep mowing.
00:44:24Yeah.
00:44:25Oh!
00:44:26Nah.
00:44:27Unnecessary.
00:44:28He's super gross.
00:44:29He's really gross.
00:44:30This was our plan.
00:44:31Number one.
00:44:32Clark and Frye help Ben get past the wraiths with their plot.
00:44:34Number two.
00:44:35Number two.
00:44:36I use the beast's obsession with my lady bits to distract and drug him.
00:44:37Number three.
00:44:38Get our zombie neighbor to draw away the guards.
00:44:39And number four.
00:44:40Bring the drugged out beast back and lock him up in Buster's place.
00:44:41Number three.
00:44:42Get our zombie neighbor to draw away the guards.
00:44:43And number four.
00:44:44Bring the drugged out beast back and lock him up in Buster's place.
00:44:46Good planning.
00:44:47Almost nothing can go wrong.
00:44:48Almost nothing can go wrong.
00:45:08Oh my god.
00:45:21You look so slutty.
00:45:23Thanks.
00:45:25Wow.
00:45:26Okay.
00:45:27Um.
00:45:30Maybe this isn't a good idea.
00:45:33Well.
00:45:34What else are we gonna do Ben?
00:45:36I don't know.
00:45:37I don't know.
00:45:38Are we sure this is a good plan?
00:45:40Yeah.
00:45:41It is.
00:45:42And it's the only one we have.
00:45:43Besides me having sex with him.
00:45:44Which is not gonna be the plan.
00:45:47No.
00:45:48You know.
00:45:49So I'm gonna take care of him and the guards.
00:45:51Alright.
00:45:52I'll deal with the wraiths.
00:45:53And um.
00:45:54We'll use Mr. Murphy to deal with the perimeter guards.
00:45:56How soon can you get to me?
00:45:58By nine.
00:45:59For sure.
00:46:00Can you handle him for that long?
00:46:01Oh yeah.
00:46:02Totally.
00:46:03He's so dumb Ben.
00:46:04Good.
00:46:05Okay.
00:46:06Right?
00:46:07Yeah we can.
00:46:08Right?
00:46:11I love you.
00:46:12I love you.
00:46:13I'll see you in a couple hours.
00:46:15Okay.
00:46:16Awesome.
00:46:17I love you mom.
00:46:19I love you too honey.
00:46:20Have fun.
00:46:21Call or text if you're gonna be really late.
00:46:24Yeah.
00:46:25So when do we leave Benjamin Franklin?
00:46:39Five minutes.
00:46:40Okay if one's a problem here's what we do.
00:46:41Let me guess.
00:46:42Knife him?
00:46:43Five minutes.
00:46:45Okay, if we're into a problem, here's what we do.
00:46:46Let me guess. Knife him?
00:46:48Yeah, totally.
00:46:49Yeah, stab him in the fucking gut, right?
00:46:50Yeah, or the neck of his leg.
00:46:52All the way to the fucking gut.
00:46:53The inside's falling out.
00:46:54Stop. This is extremely important,
00:46:55and you're acting like morons.
00:47:03Revelations tells us what's going to happen next.
00:47:06Spoiler alert.
00:47:07Jesus is going to come down on a white horse
00:47:10and smite the Antichrist
00:47:11before God sets up his kingdom here on earth.
00:47:17Blow me!
00:47:18Asshole!
00:47:19Rimmed off!
00:47:20Bucket!
00:47:20Pack up!
00:47:21Pack up!
00:47:21Pack up!
00:47:22Pack up!
00:47:22Pack up!
00:47:23Pack up!
00:47:24Pack up!
00:47:25Pack up!
00:47:26Pack up!
00:47:27Pack up!
00:47:28Pack up!
00:47:33Who is a sexy beast?
00:47:35I am a sexy beast.
00:47:38Who is a sexy beast?
00:47:40I am a sexy beast.
00:47:42Who is a sexy beast?
00:47:43Turn the mirror!
00:47:44I am a sexy beast.
00:47:46Who is a sexy beast?
00:47:49I am a sexy beast.
00:47:50Ooh, you a sexy beast.
00:47:53You a sexy beast.
00:47:54Yeah.
00:47:55You a sexy beast.
00:47:56You.
00:47:57Is that a turn on?
00:47:58Turn off.
00:47:58That's a turn on, sir.
00:47:59You like that?
00:48:00Fuck yeah.
00:48:01I'm going deep tonight.
00:48:02Ooh.
00:48:03I'm going deep tonight.
00:48:04Oh, shit.
00:48:05You want to do it?
00:48:06Yeah.
00:48:07You want to do it?
00:48:07Huh?
00:48:08Oh, my pussy's so wet.
00:48:09Huh?
00:48:10What?
00:48:14I didn't say that.
00:48:16I didn't say anything.
00:48:37Wow.
00:48:40Nancy, you look, look at those titties.
00:48:46So lovely.
00:48:48Did you, uh?
00:48:55Yup.
00:48:56Champions!
00:48:58Ow!
00:49:03Sorry?
00:49:03That was me getting an erection.
00:49:05Oh. That's nice.
00:49:07Thank you. Service it?
00:49:09No!
00:49:10Now's the time for romance.
00:49:14These are from him.
00:49:16Coronations.
00:49:18Thank you. You have such good taste.
00:49:21I know.
00:49:23Lindsay, I cannot imagine a lovelier receptacle
00:49:28from a evil seed than you.
00:49:31So much seed.
00:49:38Just wait here for a second.
00:49:42If you break his heart, I'll be super pissed.
00:49:47Alright, let's go.
00:49:52He will join you in the parlor.
00:49:58Yep.
00:50:01Welcome to where we're gonna do it.
00:50:08I wanna touch a booty all night long.
00:50:17I wanna touch a booty and stick my dick in you, girl.
00:50:23Stick my, stick my dick in yo. Stick my dick in yo. Stick my dick in yo. Stick my dick in yo. Stick my dick in yo. Yeah, booty.
00:50:29Stick my dick in yo. Stick my dick in yo. Yeah, booty.
00:50:38Stick my dick in yo booty.
00:50:42That was so good.
00:50:43That was something I was working on right here. Eggnog blender drink, my dear?
00:50:46Uh, actually, I would love to pour this for you, sir.
00:50:50Of course, my dear.
00:50:52So, um, you like eggs there?
00:50:56Fuckin' love eggs. They remind me of titties.
00:50:59Good to know.
00:51:00Chocolate eggs, easter eggs.
00:51:01Any type of eggs. You put some eggs in that, I'm eatin' that shit. You know what I'm sayin'?
00:51:05Yeah.
00:51:06I love jelly beans, too.
00:51:08But I hate peeps. I despise them. Putting those assholes out of business. Promise.
00:51:13Sure.
00:51:14Fuckin' hate them.
00:51:15I'ma take that whole company down. Put them out of business. Tomorrow, as a matter of fact.
00:51:20Marshmallow-ass chicken? Feel the power of the fuckin' beast. Pico! Kick so much ass, my feet need condoms.
00:51:28So, how's the gay boyfriend taking all of this, my dear?
00:51:35You know, like, badly. Like a, like a bitch.
00:51:40Please don't leave me. No. I'm with the beast now, tiny, little, tiny boy.
00:51:46But please, I love you. No. Get away from me with your chicken baby penis.
00:51:52Ooh, please! I want beast cock! Please, beast cock! Please, beast cock!
00:51:59Something like that?
00:52:00It was just like that.
00:52:01Hmm. What can I say? I'm a beast. I know these things.
00:52:05Hmm. This is for you.
00:52:08Thank you much.
00:52:09I... I feel so silly. This is so embarrassing.
00:52:14Wait, wait, wait.
00:52:15I was hoping that...
00:52:18Yeah.
00:52:19Maybe we could get, like, all the beastly guards in here.
00:52:22Freaky.
00:52:23Anyway, and, um, and have them come in this room and propose a toast to me.
00:52:28Thought you had a challenge.
00:52:31Beastly guards!
00:52:34You will now come to me and join me in toasting your new queen.
00:52:39This is Morgan on the PA system. All beastly guards, please report to the dining area.
00:52:44I'm not tricking you that shit.
00:52:46Noxzema is away at birth.
00:52:49Oh, well, well, well, the prodigal asshole returns.
00:52:52Huh. That's funny.
00:52:53Um, I'm here to make a delivery to Walt House, the asshole.
00:52:57Yeah, well, uh, not on the list.
00:52:59He promised me that I'd have no problem getting this.
00:53:02Oh, God, that's so sad.
00:53:04Oh, that's a sad story, man.
00:53:05So you're just gonna be impossible about this?
00:53:07We are. Get your vehicle, turn it around, get the fuck out here.
00:53:10All right. Fine.
00:53:12Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:53:14What's that smell?
00:53:18What smell?
00:53:19You know that smell.
00:53:23What's happening, Rose?
00:53:24You want some?
00:53:26No.
00:53:29I don't mention this yet.
00:53:31I got a fucking pillow.
00:53:32He's got a fucking pillow.
00:53:34Come with me.
00:53:36Leave the car running. Come on.
00:53:38Come, beastly guards. Get your fat asses in here.
00:53:47Drink the nectar of eggs.
00:53:50Toast your new queen.
00:53:52Make sure everybody gets some.
00:53:54Go, go, go.
00:53:55To you, my dear.
00:53:59God damn it.
00:54:04I promised little beast I'd go say goodnight.
00:54:07I'd be crying if I don't.
00:54:09Um, do you want the drink, though?
00:54:11It looks so good.
00:54:12I made it.
00:54:13Don't worry.
00:54:14We'll fuck soon.
00:54:15Duty calls.
00:54:16Get your fucking ass in the bed, little beast.
00:54:25No!
00:54:26Don't be a dud, little fucker.
00:54:29Kids, did I say anything that deserves that?
00:54:34So much.
00:54:35What a dud.
00:54:36That's not a nice thing to say about your son.
00:54:38Oh, my sweet, protective mother hen.
00:54:42He's still a dud, though.
00:54:43He won't be like our children.
00:54:46Here's another idea.
00:54:47Let's have sex on his bed right now.
00:54:48Let's wait until after dinner.
00:54:51Of course.
00:54:52Okay.
00:54:54I gotta take a poop anyway.
00:54:57Dude.
00:54:58Oh, this is gonna be fantastic.
00:55:01Oh, excellent weed, guys.
00:55:04You sure I can't make that delivery?
00:55:07Really quick.
00:55:08Hold on one second.
00:55:09I forgot.
00:55:10What did you want to do?
00:55:11It was so hot.
00:55:12What do you think?
00:55:13Yes.
00:55:14Wait, what?
00:55:15Wait, what?
00:55:16What?
00:55:17No, I think that's a bad idea.
00:55:18No, dude.
00:55:19Don't be so fucking paranoid, man.
00:55:20I'm not being paranoid?
00:55:21No, what if it's a fucking great idea, man?
00:55:23No, that's why I'm sorry.
00:55:24I'm sorry.
00:55:25I'm sorry.
00:55:26I'm sorry.
00:55:27I'm sorry.
00:55:28I'm sorry.
00:55:29I'm sorry.
00:55:30I'm sorry.
00:55:31I'm sorry.
00:55:32I'm sorry.
00:55:33No, that's what I'm saying.
00:55:34I don't know.
00:55:35All I'm saying is it's a good idea.
00:55:37Get out of here.
00:55:38Yeah, do it.
00:55:39All right, yeah.
00:55:40Okay.
00:55:41Do it.
00:55:54Do any other ace want to party, man?
00:55:56You should call him up.
00:55:57Let's go to Highville.
00:56:03Want to blow up something?
00:56:04Let's blow up Helsinki.
00:56:06Um.
00:56:07Buenos Aires.
00:56:08Listen, I want to blow up the whole world tonight.
00:56:12How do you feel about that?
00:56:13What?
00:56:14Yep.
00:56:15The whole world?
00:56:16Kind of.
00:56:17Oh, that's sexy.
00:56:18It is sexy.
00:56:19You're not the girl I thought you were, huh?
00:56:20Nope.
00:56:21You little vixen.
00:56:22You gonna blow up the world, will you?
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:25I'm gonna do that tonight.
00:56:26Yeah, we're gonna bust the world up.
00:56:28I'm gonna bust all over your face.
00:56:30Oh.
00:56:31Is that too much?
00:56:47Ready to cut some grass, Mr. Murphy?
00:56:49Yeah.
00:56:50Stop.
00:56:51Now remember, there's a lot that needs to be cut.
00:56:53So don't stop till you get all of it.
00:56:54What?
00:56:55And don't let anybody stop you.
00:56:57What?
00:56:58You do know how to drive one of these things, right?
00:57:02Nope.
00:57:03Hey, you!
00:57:04Shit.
00:57:05Shit.
00:57:06All right, just mo.
00:57:08Oh!
00:57:13Oh!
00:57:14Fuck!
00:57:20Use your push mower!
00:57:25Hey!
00:57:26Hey!
00:57:27Hey, asshole!
00:57:28What are you doing?
00:57:44I will kill you with murder!
00:57:46I'm just cutting the grass.
00:57:48All right, take him out.
00:57:49How do you like that?
00:57:50How?
00:58:01Go check him.
00:58:09Oh.
00:58:10I found a lot of here!
00:58:12I found a lot of here!
00:58:16I need everybody at day 2.
00:58:17I got some sort of undead, lawn mowing, dead zombie motherfucker.
00:58:24Stop your vehicle!
00:58:29What was that?
00:58:32Did you guys hear that?
00:58:34Dude, I don't hear anything, man.
00:58:37Yeah, dude, you're being paranoid.
00:58:39You being paranoid?
00:58:41Yeah.
00:58:43Dude, you're being paranoid.
00:58:45You being paranoid?
00:58:46Yeah.
00:58:47Dude, you're being paranoid.
00:58:53Hello.
00:58:58Damn, this is good.
00:58:59Damn!
00:59:01You look like a shrimp and mushroom mama, am I right?
00:59:04Um...
00:59:05What was that, my dear?
00:59:06Your ex-wife.
00:59:08God, I just... I can't even believe I did that.
00:59:12I was young and stupid and seduced by a natural blonde.
00:59:15You know what I mean?
00:59:16I think I do, yeah.
00:59:17Her pubes were blonde.
00:59:19Her pubes, yeah.
00:59:20Her pubes are black.
00:59:21As you'll find out...
00:59:24No secret to shrimp, you gotta check out the dark line in the back.
00:59:27That's their poo.
00:59:29I poop a lot.
00:59:30Three or four times a day.
00:59:31That's why I'm so healthy.
00:59:32Good, that's impressive.
00:59:33I'm glad you told me.
00:59:36Uh...
00:59:37Are those guards around me have any more of that eggnog left?
00:59:40Eggnog left so thirsty.
00:59:42So, where do you want to go for our honeymoon?
00:59:46Um...
00:59:47Not that it matters because you've been getting face-fucked the whole time, am I right?
00:59:50Hey, let's stay here and just have intercourse.
00:59:55And watch movies.
00:59:56I love intercourse, I love movies.
00:59:57Are you a Vin Diesel fan?
00:59:59I love Vin Diesel.
01:00:01I knew it!
01:00:02Fucking Chronicles of Riddick!
01:00:03Are you kidding me?
01:00:04It's the best.
01:00:05It's so...
01:00:06Like...
01:00:07Underrated.
01:00:08See?
01:00:09You see?
01:00:10I do.
01:00:11We connected.
01:00:12I'm right here with you.
01:00:14Let's go make the beast with two backs.
01:00:16Get it, the beast with two backs?
01:00:18Cause I'm the beast and...
01:00:19I got it back and you gotta...
01:00:21It's not that funny.
01:00:22Come on, let's go.
01:00:23Um...
01:00:24Yeah.
01:00:25We could, um...
01:00:26We should...
01:00:27We should go to the Jacuzzi.
01:00:32Jacuzzi?
01:00:33Sounds sexy.
01:00:36It's gonna be.
01:00:40Oh, shit.
01:00:44Dude, what the fuck are they doing?
01:00:46I think I saw them take some shirts, bro.
01:00:49We should fucking knife them.
01:00:50Fucking knife them?
01:00:51Yeah.
01:00:52Fucking knife the shit out of them.
01:00:53Oh, shit.
01:00:54If I was a dinosaur, I guess what kind of dinosaur I'd be.
01:00:55What?
01:00:56A Lickolotipus.
01:00:57You get it?
01:00:58That's so funny.
01:00:59I do get it.
01:01:00That's so funny.
01:01:01Cause I'd be licking your vagina all the time.
01:01:02I get it.
01:01:03Oh.
01:01:04Oh.
01:01:05Oh.
01:01:06Oh.
01:01:07Oh.
01:01:08Oh.
01:01:09Oh.
01:01:10Oh.
01:01:11Oh.
01:01:12Oh.
01:01:13Oh.
01:01:14Oh.
01:01:15Oh.
01:01:16Oh.
01:01:17Oh.
01:01:18Oh.
01:01:19Oh.
01:01:20Oh.
01:01:21Oh.
01:01:22Oh.
01:01:23Oh.
01:01:24Oh.
01:01:25Oh.
01:01:26Oh.
01:01:27Oh.
01:01:28Oh, what you looking for, baby?
01:01:29I'm right here.
01:01:30Um, Ben.
01:01:33You calling your boyfriend?
01:01:35Come on, Ben!
01:01:36Baby!
01:01:37I thought we had something.
01:01:40This hurts.
01:01:41I thought we had a moment.
01:01:45Ben!
01:01:46That's cool.
01:01:48I didn't really like you that much.
01:01:50Whatever.
01:01:51Okay, Ben!
01:01:53Seriously!
01:01:55Ben!
01:01:56Let her go, Antichrist!
01:02:00This is... this is who you screaming for?
01:02:03This Frodo-looking motherfucker?
01:02:05He even walks gay!
01:02:06I'm the beast, baby!
01:02:08Beastly guards!
01:02:10Most of them are chasing a dead guy on a lawnmower.
01:02:13Okay, what does that mean?
01:02:16Race, come to me!
01:02:21Fucking useless potheads.
01:02:23Just let her go, man.
01:02:24Or what?
01:02:26Or I'll kick your evil ass.
01:02:29Ooh.
01:02:30Oh, that's... that's... that's a good one.
01:02:33Hey, I got a good one, too.
01:02:34How about you do like this?
01:02:35To my booty hole!
01:02:37I'm warning you, Earl.
01:02:38My name is Beast.
01:02:41What are you gonna do to me anyway, huh?
01:02:43What, you gonna kill me?
01:02:45I'm gonna lock you in a dog kennel.
01:02:48I don't even know how to respond to that.
01:02:51But you know what?
01:02:52Seeing as I have better things to do,
01:02:54like make it with your lady.
01:02:57How about I shoot you?
01:02:59Oh!
01:03:03Back up!
01:03:04Back up!
01:03:05No!
01:03:06Fuck!
01:03:08I killed Jimmy Neutron!
01:03:14Back up.
01:03:15What?
01:03:16What you gonna do, huh?
01:03:17You don't wanna shoot me.
01:03:19Unless you want me to come back as Satan!
01:03:23Don't push me.
01:03:24Okay, Earl?
01:03:26I'm really sick of this crap.
01:03:28And honestly, you in particular.
01:03:29You are so lame.
01:03:31I'm lame.
01:03:32I'm lame?
01:03:33You dating Peter Brady?
01:03:34I've been letting you say this gross shit to me all night.
01:03:36I'm not afraid of you.
01:03:37The fact that anybody is afraid of you is incredible.
01:03:40If they knew what a child...
01:03:41It doesn't matter!
01:03:42I will shoot you!
01:03:43I will...
01:03:44I will...
01:03:45Totally shoot you!
01:03:46Whatever!
01:03:52That's for being an asshole.
01:03:54Let's party, baby.
01:03:59Let's party, baby.
01:04:12See you later, baby.
01:04:17Oh, shit.
01:04:20Baby!
01:04:21Why do I keep getting hit in the head?
01:04:25I don't know.
01:04:26I'm sorry, baby.
01:04:27I shot him.
01:04:28Baby, I killed him.
01:04:29Where?
01:04:30I'm serious.
01:04:31Right here.
01:04:40I am unstoppable!
01:04:44Now what do we do?
01:04:46Just keep killing him.
01:04:47Until what?
01:04:48Maybe it'll take at some point.
01:04:49Maybe.
01:04:50We need more guns.
01:04:51Okay, I'm on it.
01:04:54That really hurt.
01:04:55Ah, damn!
01:04:57Ben?
01:04:58Yeah?
01:05:01Will you stop shooting?
01:05:03Fuck you!
01:05:06This can't be linked!
01:05:08Ben?
01:05:09Yeah?
01:05:11I know what you think.
01:05:14Quick question.
01:05:15I'm getting pretty good at this, baby.
01:05:17I'm getting it!
01:05:18No!
01:05:20Motherfucker!
01:05:21Ah!
01:05:31What you gonna do now, fool?
01:05:33What time is it?
01:05:34You don't seem like the type...
01:05:35No.
01:05:37No, that won't work either.
01:05:38Go to bed, little beast, little fucker.
01:05:39But I have an idea.
01:05:40I have an idea.
01:05:41I have an idea.
01:05:43I have an idea.
01:05:45How does this go down?
01:05:46How does this go down?
01:05:47I have an idea.
01:05:48I have an idea.
01:05:49I need a screwdriver or something.
01:05:50What is that?
01:05:51What is that?
01:05:52I have an idea.
01:05:53I have an idea.
01:05:54It's coming right at us.
01:05:55Ben!
01:05:56It's coming right at us!
01:05:57Ben!
01:05:58Wait!
01:05:59Ben, wait!
01:06:00Ben, wait!
01:06:01Ben, wait!
01:06:02What?
01:06:03I don't see.
01:06:04I have a clue.
01:06:05I have an idea.
01:06:06I have an idea.
01:06:07I'm gonna see when I need a screwdriver or something.
01:06:09I have an idea.
01:06:10I don't see.
01:06:11What is that?
01:06:12How does this go down?
01:06:13I need a screwdriver or something.
01:06:15What is that?
01:06:16What is that?
01:06:21It's coming right at us!
01:06:23Ben, wait! Ben, wait!
01:06:46Oh, no.
01:06:55Oh, no.
01:06:57It's so bad, baby.
01:06:59I didn't know. I didn't know, Linz.
01:07:01I thought it was a rock...
01:07:03Fuck.
01:07:04This is, like, incredibly bad, Ben.
01:07:07Okay, okay. Can we do CPR? Maybe?
01:07:10You laser-beamed him, baby.
01:07:12I don't think CPR's gonna work.
01:07:14I can't believe I did this!
01:07:15Oh!
01:07:16How could I have been so fucking stupid?
01:07:18Oh, I feel really sick, Ben.
01:07:20My dad's right!
01:07:21Uh...
01:07:23I'm a fucking idiot!
01:07:24Oh.
01:07:45Is that it?
01:07:54What?
01:07:55Is that it?
01:07:56Idiots!
01:07:58What have you done?
01:08:00I, uh...
01:08:02Um...
01:08:03Okay.
01:08:04Okay.
01:08:05Well...
01:08:06Yeah.
01:08:07Answer me!
01:08:08Right.
01:08:09Okay.
01:08:10We sort of killed the Antichrist at first.
01:08:13Or we did.
01:08:14It was not nearly as hard as you might think.
01:08:17Right.
01:08:18Yeah, we just, like, shot him with a regular gun, and then we were hitting him...
01:08:22Ben was hitting him with a shovel.
01:08:23Bonked him.
01:08:24That was it.
01:08:25You barbecued my son.
01:08:27I...
01:08:28I saw this thing coming from the sky.
01:08:32I had no idea what it was.
01:08:33It could have been bad.
01:08:34Like, he didn't know.
01:08:35It could have been bad.
01:08:37I panicked.
01:08:38And I...
01:08:39I...
01:08:40Yeah.
01:08:41I laser-beamed him.
01:08:42I beamed Jesus.
01:08:43I'm so sorry.
01:08:44It was a total accident, though.
01:08:46Yeah.
01:08:47Total.
01:08:48Do you two have any idea what you've done here?
01:08:52Um...
01:08:53Well...
01:08:54No.
01:08:55There was a plan.
01:08:57A rather detailed and specific plan.
01:09:01Involving the final chapter of all human existence.
01:09:06Do you understand that that plan is completely ruined?
01:09:11We didn't mean to.
01:09:12We are so...
01:09:15Just incredibly sorry, sir.
01:09:17It's...
01:09:18It's a gaffe.
01:09:19Just...
01:09:20Ugh.
01:09:21It was a mistake.
01:09:22Ding.
01:09:23That's all I needed to hear.
01:09:24Hey, you're sorry.
01:09:25I forgive you.
01:09:27I don't want to do.
01:09:29It's all good.
01:09:30We'll just start over.
01:09:31It's no big deal.
01:09:32It's not like I spent a lot of time on this.
01:09:34Only 4,000 fucking years.
01:09:37You proud of yourselves?
01:09:38You pathetic little shits.
01:09:42Fuck you, dude.
01:09:43Oh.
01:09:44Don't.
01:09:45No.
01:09:46That's...
01:09:47You don't have to be so mean.
01:09:48I'm sorry, but...
01:09:49You don't have to be so mean.
01:09:51What did you say, Owen?
01:09:53You heard me, man.
01:09:55I said fuck you.
01:09:56You're being a dick.
01:09:57God to God.
01:09:58You're a dick.
01:10:00You're like a bug to me.
01:10:03You made her.
01:10:04Yeah.
01:10:05So...
01:10:06Good God, baby.
01:10:07Well, you made her.
01:10:08So...
01:10:09He doesn't talk like that.
01:10:10I'm not Southern.
01:10:11You talk exactly like that, Ben.
01:10:12That is how I made you.
01:10:13He doesn't have a pinched nose.
01:10:14What is that?
01:10:15You sound exactly like that.
01:10:17No, I don't.
01:10:18Give me that sweater.
01:10:19Don't do it.
01:10:20Just give me the fucking sweater.
01:10:21Cause I'm fucking God.
01:10:22Give it to me.
01:10:23Don't do it, baby.
01:10:24Do it.
01:10:25Don't.
01:10:26He has a jacket.
01:10:27Don't.
01:10:28I want a sweater.
01:10:29God, wait.
01:10:30Look behind you.
01:10:31You actually expect me to fall for that trick?
01:10:33No, no.
01:10:34It's not a trick.
01:10:35Uh, it's not a trick.
01:10:36It's, uh...
01:10:37You're so stupid.
01:10:38Ah!
01:10:39Oh, Earl!
01:10:40What the fuck, man?
01:10:42That's right, big boy.
01:10:44Okay, this isn't about you, Earl.
01:10:46Okay?
01:10:47Oh, it's all about me.
01:10:48And my official name is Satan.
01:10:51So none of this Earl bullshit.
01:10:53Okay, let me smite these fuckers down, and then we can talk, alright?
01:10:56You think I want to talk?
01:10:58No, no, no, no, no.
01:10:59All I want to do is kick your candy ass.
01:11:04What the fuck you think?
01:11:06Yeah.
01:11:07You want to go, Fat Prince?
01:11:08Let's do it.
01:11:09Thou shalt whoop your ass.
01:11:13It's on.
01:11:17Ow!
01:11:18Come on, bitch.
01:11:19That's all you got?
01:11:20You want some?
01:11:21Happy meal?
01:11:22You like that?
01:11:29Okay, no, no.
01:11:30Time out?
01:11:31No, you fresh out of time out, bitch.
01:11:35Who are we rooting for?
01:11:36They both want to kill us.
01:11:37Right.
01:11:40Revelations, bitch.
01:11:41Maybe we should get out of here.
01:11:42It is a pretty unusual thing to be watching when you think about it.
01:11:45Oh, okay.
01:11:46Yeah.
01:11:47You win.
01:11:48Ah!
01:11:49Oh!
01:11:54Ow!
01:11:55You called me tattooed?
01:11:57Now what?
01:11:58What the fuck you think you fucking with?
01:12:00Abraham?
01:12:01I.
01:12:02I.
01:12:03Am.
01:12:04The.
01:12:05Love!
01:12:06Ah!
01:12:07Mama!
01:12:08Not me, you little fucker!
01:12:12I'm gonna have your shit up!
01:12:15Come on, Confucius.
01:12:16I'm gonna follow you, motherfucker!
01:12:17Fuck you up!
01:12:18Fuck you, Earl!
01:12:19You're already my ass!
01:12:20Ah!
01:12:21You're a terrible father!
01:12:22You wanna talk?
01:12:23Too shit!
01:12:24Earl!
01:12:25My name is Satan!
01:12:26I had enough of this shit!
01:12:27Ah!
01:12:28Ah!
01:12:29Ah!
01:12:30Ah!
01:12:31Ah!
01:12:32Ah!
01:12:33Ah!
01:12:34You're a terrible father!
01:12:35Ah!
01:12:36You wanna talk?
01:12:37Too shit!
01:12:38Earl!
01:12:39Earl!
01:12:40My name is Satan!
01:12:41Ah!
01:12:42I had enough of this shit!
01:12:44Ah!
01:12:50Shit.
01:12:56I had enough of this shit.
01:13:13Whoa!
01:13:15Oh!
01:13:17Well, I definitely didn't think that was...
01:13:20possible, right?
01:13:21You'd of thought that God would have seen that coming.
01:13:23Yeah.
01:13:24You know?
01:13:25His plan was to get electrocuted in a jacuzzi.
01:13:28Most of it didn't make a lot of sense to me.
01:13:30So it's possible.
01:13:42They shot on me!
01:13:45You fucking idiots!
01:13:47I should spank you both!
01:13:49Wow! You did it!
01:13:52You killed him!
01:13:55I knew you could do it!
01:13:56No, you didn't.
01:13:57You just had to apply yourself, Benjamin. That's all.
01:13:59You said the opposite.
01:14:00You're not a loser anymore.
01:14:02Good for you.
01:14:04And who's that right there? Is that, uh...
01:14:07Yeah.
01:14:08It's tiny, huh?
01:14:10So...
01:14:12Wow.
01:14:14I mean, huh? Right?
01:14:16A lot of questions.
01:14:17There he is! Dead zombie motherfucker!
01:14:19Stop that fucking lawnmower!
01:14:21Stop it!
01:14:25What the fuck?
01:14:29You killed him?
01:14:40Oh, thank God.
01:14:41It's over.
01:14:42Right.
01:14:43I'm free!
01:14:44We did it! We killed him!
01:14:45We killed him!
01:14:46Oh!
01:14:47No more beatings!
01:14:48Ha-ha!
01:14:49No more rapings!
01:14:50Yeah.
01:14:51Oh!
01:14:53I guess that means I'm in charge.
01:14:55Yeah.
01:14:56I will take that leap.
01:14:57That's a big leap.
01:14:58I'm the leader of the world.
01:15:00Bow down before me!
01:15:02No.
01:15:03What?
01:15:04Woo!
01:15:05No?
01:15:06How come all of a sudden you're in charge?
01:15:07I mean, there's as much reason for me to be in charge as there is for you to be in charge.
01:15:10Fuck!
01:15:11No!
01:15:12He thought you were the pool guy.
01:15:13He used to rape you.
01:15:14You have a massive head wound.
01:15:16That is a brain injury.
01:15:17So what?
01:15:18You look like a jerk.
01:15:19So what?
01:15:20I could still-
01:15:21You have a mustache.
01:15:22Look at your world rulers look like jerks.
01:15:24Who cares?
01:15:25What?
01:15:26You guys, um, awkward.
01:15:27Um, I just feel like, you know, probably nobody's in charge.
01:15:32No.
01:15:33Well, everybody's in charge.
01:15:35Everybody's in charge.
01:15:36So it's a good thing.
01:15:38We're all in charge.
01:15:39We can be grown-ups.
01:15:42Everybody okay with that?
01:15:43Yeah.
01:15:44You're definitely not in charge though.
01:15:46So what do we do now?
01:15:49Just live.
01:15:52That's what we're gonna do.
01:15:54Right?
01:15:55That's deep, baby.
01:15:57Yeah.
01:15:58Just live.
01:16:00Let's go make out.
01:16:02All right.
01:16:03You kids be safe.
01:16:05We're gonna live.
01:16:08Yeah, I might, uh, I might go back to school.
01:16:12Yeah?
01:16:13Yeah.
01:16:14I never, I never went to college.
01:16:17I know.
01:16:18I know.
01:16:19It's over.
01:16:20Okay.
01:16:21Okay.
01:16:24So nice to be held.
01:16:27Okay.
01:16:28Okay.
01:16:29Oh, you're so strong.
01:16:31Okay.
01:16:32Okay.
01:16:33All right.
01:16:34I got those big arms, don't you?
01:16:35Don't make this into something that's not, okay?
01:16:37Huh?
01:16:38Don't make this into something that's not.
01:16:39You didn't feel anything?
01:16:40No.
01:16:41Let's just live.
01:16:42Live our lives.
01:16:43Right.
01:16:44All right.
01:16:45I thought with the mustache and everything.
01:16:47I won't.
01:16:48No.
01:16:49No.
01:16:50You're sending a real message there.
01:16:52No.
01:16:53Put a dick in here.
01:17:04Whoa.
01:17:06Look at that.
01:17:07Look at that.
01:17:08Mm-hmm.
01:17:09Life goes on, man.
01:17:11Yeah.
01:17:12Life goes on.
01:17:13After that night, things sort of went back to normal.
01:17:20Good sandwiches went from a smashed lunch cart to a popular lunch destination.
01:17:26Overall, I'd have to say the future looks really, really bright.
01:17:32Okay, that sounded really corny, but whatever.
01:17:36I killed God and the Antichrist, man.
01:17:38Do whatever I want.
01:17:40The rocks stopped falling out of the sky.
01:17:43The rates were still around, but Mom made some new friends.
01:17:47And calmed down a little bit.
01:17:49You guys are hungry later.
01:17:50I made an amazing pot of beans last night.
01:17:53They've been hanging out in the crock pot for almost 12 hours at a low setting.
01:17:57And I'll tell you what.
01:17:58I soaked those guys overnight.
01:18:00And, uh...
01:18:09It's better than the quick soak.
01:18:10Some things didn't go back like before.
01:18:12Like Mr. Murphy.
01:18:13Still dead.
01:18:14Or undead.
01:18:15But Ben and I stole his lawnmower back for him.
01:18:17He loves it.
01:18:18Doesn't seem to notice we broke the motor either.
01:18:20This used to be the devil's mansion!
01:18:22It's ours now!
01:18:24Ha ha!
01:18:25Ben's dad now lives at the Beast's mansion.
01:18:27I'm not sure that he should, but he's gonna kick him out.
01:18:30Ah!
01:18:31I put PCP in the salsa!
01:18:35This is gonna get fucking crazy!
01:18:38Fucking crazy!
01:18:41Hey!
01:18:42Hey!
01:18:43Hey!
01:18:44Hey!
01:18:45Hey!
01:18:46Let's go to Mexico!
01:18:47Who is sexy beast?
01:18:50I am sexy beast.
01:18:52Who is sexy beast?
01:18:53I am sexy beast.
01:19:02Who is sexy beast?
01:19:06Go deep tonight.
01:19:30Go deep tonight.
01:19:31Go deep tonight.
01:19:34Go deep tonight.
01:20:05You like that?
01:21:05You like that?
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