- 5 weeks ago
The Movie is a fun comedy starring Mamrie Hart, Grace Helbig, and Hannah Hart. The story follows a woman whose friends throw her an unforgettable 30th birthday party that quickly spins out of control in the most hilarious ways. Filled with outrageous humor, quirky characters, and laugh-out-loud moments, this indie comedy celebrates friendship, growing up, and embracing life’s unexpected turns.
Mamrie Hart films, Grace Helbig movies, Hannah Hart movies, comedy movies 2016, hilarious indie comedies, funny birthday party movies, friendship comedy films, women led comedies, laugh out loud movies, quirky comedy films, feel good comedy movies, indie comedy gems, birthday party gone wrong movies, outrageous comedies, friendship stories in film, ensemble comedy films, must watch comedies 2016, female friendship movies, fun indie movies, modern comedy films, comedy movies about turning 30, hilarious movies 2016, lighthearted comedies, cult comedy movies, comedy classics of 2010s, independent comedy cinema, fun and uplifting movies, laugh filled comedies, movies about growing up, unforgettable party comedies
Mamrie Hart films, Grace Helbig movies, Hannah Hart movies, comedy movies 2016, hilarious indie comedies, funny birthday party movies, friendship comedy films, women led comedies, laugh out loud movies, quirky comedy films, feel good comedy movies, indie comedy gems, birthday party gone wrong movies, outrageous comedies, friendship stories in film, ensemble comedy films, must watch comedies 2016, female friendship movies, fun indie movies, modern comedy films, comedy movies about turning 30, hilarious movies 2016, lighthearted comedies, cult comedy movies, comedy classics of 2010s, independent comedy cinema, fun and uplifting movies, laugh filled comedies, movies about growing up, unforgettable party comedies
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:02:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:02:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:03:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:03:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:04:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:04:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:05:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:05:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:06:29Transcription by CastingWords
00:06:59Transcription by CastingWords
00:07:29P.S. Ashley Driscoll can eat shit
00:07:32Classy.
00:07:34Oh, Ashley Driscoll.
00:07:35You know, my first day at Lincoln High,
00:07:37she told me my bowl cut looked like a turtle was sitting on my head and then she threw lettuce at me.
00:07:42Well, you still have a bowl cut, but it's an edgier bowl cut.
00:07:46It's a bowl cut in my heart.
00:07:47She called me the same way so she called me a academics, but she's a combination of the word tumor, but she called her in the same day uhm, she was a British and she was a woman but she dated.
00:07:55Yeah, she was a bitch but she dated Peter Finch, Peter Finch was so hot.
00:07:59Wow.
00:08:01Oh, that's my ride.
00:08:03Did you still want us to drop you off?
00:08:05Yeah, yeah, I should go.
00:08:07Todd hates it when I'm late.
00:08:08All right, well, I'll see you guys later.
00:08:10See you this weekend at the party, party, party,
00:08:12party, party, party, party.
00:08:15Yeah, I can't do it.
00:08:16That was wet.
00:08:17Sorry.
00:08:20So I can throw you a party, right?
00:08:22Nope.
00:08:23Got it.
00:08:25I found with the dishes.
00:08:27Our gift to you.
00:08:29Hey, Kate, congrats on surviving till 30.
00:08:44You go, girl.
00:08:45You will be a super successful orthodontist
00:08:47with your own practice.
00:08:49There will be a little one to take care of,
00:08:51or at least a bun in the oven.
00:08:54You'll have the greatest guy in the world.
00:08:56He'll be handsome and sweet and funny.
00:08:58You will have the most incredible life.
00:09:01I'll see you then.
00:09:10Excuse me.
00:09:13My card wasn't working.
00:09:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:09:15I can't let you into the building.
00:09:16What?
00:09:17I have no proof that you work here.
00:09:19No, I have a card.
00:09:20But it doesn't work, so it could be a fake.
00:09:23I'm sorry.
00:09:24Are you Ashley Driscoll?
00:09:26Yes.
00:09:27If you want to schedule an appointment,
00:09:28you can call my office.
00:09:29No, um, it's Kate Fields.
00:09:31From Lincoln High.
00:09:34Brace Face?
00:09:37Brace Face!
00:09:38Oh, my God!
00:09:39Look at you!
00:09:40You look, you know, so much older.
00:09:42Thanks.
00:09:43I did not know you worked in the building.
00:09:46Yeah.
00:09:47My real estate business got too big for my old office,
00:09:50so now I have the whole top floor.
00:09:52I feel like Oprah.
00:09:53Whole floor?
00:09:54Mm-hmm.
00:09:55Cool.
00:09:56Anyway, it was good to see you.
00:09:57You too.
00:09:58Oh, I'm sorry.
00:09:59I still can't let you in the building.
00:10:02Are you serious?
00:10:03It's building policy.
00:10:04You have to have a working card.
00:10:05It opens in 20 minutes, though.
00:10:07Anyway, it was really good to see you.
00:10:08Don't be a stranger.
00:10:10Bye!
00:10:21So, how did the date go?
00:10:26Kate.
00:10:28Kate.
00:10:29Hey, how was your date the other night?
00:10:32It's just that usually there's a kid's menu.
00:10:34Kate.
00:10:35Can't do crunchy stuff because of the ham tooth.
00:10:37Yeah.
00:10:38Ham tooth.
00:10:39Sob it down.
00:10:40Get it soggy.
00:10:41Oh, well, that's an interesting ring out there.
00:10:43Oh, very perceptive of you, m'lady.
00:10:45Very good.
00:10:46Um, on the weekends, I go goth.
00:10:48I'm sorry?
00:10:49On the weekends, I go goth.
00:10:50Goth.
00:10:51Goth.
00:10:52Goth?
00:10:53I go goth.
00:10:54People still go goth?
00:10:55Oh, yeah.
00:10:56Really?
00:10:57Yeah.
00:10:58I host a rave in my mom's basement like every second Saturday.
00:11:00Full goth.
00:11:01Full goth.
00:11:02Yeah.
00:11:03Um, I know that Richard may seem to be milquetoast and boring and plain,
00:11:06but on the weekends, he hatches into Raven.
00:11:11Raven.
00:11:12Raven.
00:11:13Raven.
00:11:14Raven.
00:11:15Raven?
00:11:16A little more roundness to it.
00:11:17Should feel like Raven.
00:11:18Raven.
00:11:19A little bit more bass in there.
00:11:20That's as low as I can go.
00:11:21Okay.
00:11:22Okay.
00:11:23Is this a problem for you?
00:11:24No.
00:11:25Well, because that is my social life.
00:11:26And a lot of people get intimidated because it's so cool and I'm so...
00:11:29Oh, God, no.
00:11:30Great.
00:11:31Because this is going fabulously, so if you're okay with...
00:11:32Okay, no.
00:11:33Richard, really quick.
00:11:34Raven.
00:11:35Okay, sorry.
00:11:36I'm sorry.
00:11:37Raven.
00:11:38Uh, my ex-boyfriend just walked through the door.
00:11:39Oh.
00:11:40Yeah, so I'm just gonna expose myself.
00:11:41Say no more.
00:11:42You're coming in to touch the shoulder.
00:11:43Nope.
00:11:44Nope.
00:11:45Nope.
00:11:46Nope.
00:11:47Okay.
00:11:48Whoa, saucy lady.
00:11:49No, you really want to make him jealous.
00:11:50It's our anniversary.
00:11:51Not a big...
00:11:52Whoop.
00:11:53Hey, listen.
00:11:54Kate, I think he's gone.
00:11:55He took her to the patio, so...
00:11:56What?
00:11:57Hi.
00:11:58Hi.
00:11:59He took her to the patio, so I think you're in the clear.
00:12:00Let's go.
00:12:01Yeah.
00:12:02Let's go.
00:12:03Are you sure?
00:12:04Whoa.
00:12:05That was awesome.
00:12:06Look, so, uh, I don't feel like I really get along with most people in life.
00:12:09Really?
00:12:10Yeah.
00:12:11Well, I do feel like you and I are on the exact same exact wavelength.
00:12:15Um, so, congratulations.
00:12:18You're getting another date.
00:12:20Nope.
00:12:21That's...
00:12:22You're supposed to ask me if I want another date.
00:12:24You don't just tell me.
00:12:26You know?
00:12:27My litmus test is like, what would Nathan Fillion do?
00:12:29And would Nathan Fillion ask politely?
00:12:32Or would he say...
00:12:33You know what?
00:12:34I think he would.
00:12:35Would he?
00:12:36Yeah, he seems like a really nice guy.
00:12:37Look, I don't know.
00:12:38I'm just a... his doppelganger, so I can't really say...
00:12:39Fridays are no good for me because those are my falconry Fridays where I play with my falcons.
00:12:42Saturday is DD&D Saturday.
00:12:44Um, the third D, of course, for...
00:12:46Drinking?
00:12:47Domino's.
00:12:48Got it.
00:12:49Every single Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, however, until 2019...
00:12:52Why don't...
00:12:53Birthday!
00:12:55Thank you, chef.
00:12:56I like to tell him it's my birthday for the free cake.
00:13:01Gauze.
00:13:02Cake.
00:13:03Hmm?
00:13:04Gauze.
00:13:05Oh.
00:13:06You almost choked on your own blood, but, uh...
00:13:08Don't worry, we gotcha.
00:13:09Sorry.
00:13:19Sparkling grape juice?
00:13:21Just in case there's a miracle brewing in there.
00:13:24Todd, I'm proud of you.
00:13:26As of today, Todd was promoted to Vice President of Paralegal Management at Jones & Associates.
00:13:31All right.
00:13:32Hear, hear.
00:13:33Hear, hear.
00:13:35Oh, that's real crystal.
00:13:36Mmm.
00:13:37Mmm.
00:13:38Mmm.
00:13:39I have an idea.
00:13:40Why don't we all head up to the Mountain House this weekend to do some celebratory skiing?
00:13:45Yes.
00:13:46Yes.
00:13:47I-I've been wanting to break out my new Fisher XCs.
00:13:50Hunter at work is so jealous.
00:13:52I can't wait to test those puppies out on the powder.
00:13:54Babe, it's Kate's birthday this weekend.
00:13:57Evie, how often do I get a promotion?
00:14:00Every six months, it's your dad's company.
00:14:03Exactly.
00:14:04So just try to be a little bit more considerate.
00:14:10So, Evie, how is the, uh, fundraising coming along?
00:14:16You know, for the, um, bald llamas?
00:14:19Alpacas with alopecia.
00:14:21Oh, is-is that a thing?
00:14:23Yeah, apparently.
00:14:25Yeah, I had no idea either, but they called me.
00:14:28And, actually, I have already raised over half of their goal.
00:14:33Hear, hear.
00:14:35Well, I think it's very important for housewives to keep their hobbies.
00:14:39Oh, it pays.
00:14:40Because it's my job.
00:14:41So it pays.
00:14:46Oh.
00:14:47Lay off, Mom.
00:14:49Okay?
00:14:50Evie wants to make a little extra spending money.
00:14:52Who am I to stop her?
00:14:54Even though I've offered.
00:14:56So grab a friend and make some plans.
00:15:09Cabins are filling up fast.
00:15:11Michiana, exit 212.
00:15:13Are you ready to get real about real estate?
00:15:17Oh, my God.
00:15:18Hi.
00:15:19I'm Ashley Driscoll.
00:15:21And I'm here to make your dreams a reality.
00:15:24Let's raise the roof on finding you an ideal home.
00:15:28You know, lots of realtors think they can help you find a great house.
00:15:32And I'm here to...
00:15:35Throw me a party.
00:15:36Seriously?
00:15:37Yep.
00:15:38Let's check one thing off that letter.
00:15:40Throw me a damn party.
00:15:41I'll make t-shirts.
00:15:42No.
00:15:43No.
00:15:44Nothing crazy.
00:15:45Let's keep it super casual.
00:15:46Evie, do you even have time to throw this at the last minute?
00:15:50Evie?
00:15:51Evie?
00:15:52Sorry, I blacked out from excitement.
00:15:53Kate, of course.
00:15:54I once put together the Alpha Sigma Tiki mixer in two hours, complete with a full roasted pig.
00:15:58All right.
00:15:59Well, seriously, keep it very small.
00:16:02Classy, even.
00:16:03And Charlie, I'm counting on you to keep Evie in line.
00:16:05Never do.
00:16:06Okay.
00:16:07Cool.
00:16:08I will put it in my calendar.
00:16:09This is going to be really fun.
00:16:11I think I just found us a venue.
00:16:18Go team!
00:16:30Morning, sunshine.
00:16:31Morning.
00:16:32Looks like one of us had some fun last night.
00:16:34You got a pair of panties in your front pocket.
00:16:37Oh, they're my spare pair.
00:16:39Okay.
00:16:40We are starting off fixing a snapped wire on a permanent retainer.
00:16:43Then there's an extraction of Kelly Grossman's back molar.
00:16:46I know.
00:16:47Two braces checkups and a retainer fitting finale.
00:16:51What?
00:16:54You look like the Grinch.
00:16:55What?
00:16:56Dan is our first client.
00:16:58And?
00:16:59Well, he's cute.
00:17:00I think you should invite him to your party.
00:17:03I can't invite a patient to my party.
00:17:05Why not?
00:17:06Because one of us has to keep a level of professionalism around here.
00:17:09Oh, come on.
00:17:10It's one pair of panties.
00:17:12These are not my panties.
00:17:16So, Dan, are you still a little nervous when it comes to the dental stuff?
00:17:19Oh.
00:17:20No, I think you're confusing me with somebody else.
00:17:22Okay.
00:17:23Well, I'm gonna need my arm back to work.
00:17:25Oh.
00:17:26Okay.
00:17:27Okay, Dan.
00:17:28Uh, so it says here that we are giving you a new front grill that says ass and shaker.
00:17:34Oh, no.
00:17:35I, uh...
00:17:36I'm just kidding.
00:17:37I'm fixing the wire on that broken retainer.
00:17:39Relax.
00:17:40All right, I've got good news and bad news for you.
00:17:43The good news is that this is not gonna hurt at all, so you don't even need an anesthetic.
00:17:47But the bad news is that Jules has no medical moral code, so she's gonna let me gas you up.
00:17:52Yeah, let's party.
00:17:53All right, take a deep breath.
00:17:57Good.
00:17:58Oh, thank you.
00:17:59Yeah, I don't know why I got so nervous there.
00:18:01I mean, normally I'm extremely macho and tough.
00:18:05No, but seriously, I'm not even afraid of spiders.
00:18:09Fine.
00:18:10I mean, snakes, however, they can suck a duck.
00:18:16I'm sorry, that was not very chivalrous.
00:18:20Chivalrous.
00:18:21That's a funny word.
00:18:23Mm-hmm.
00:18:24Chivalrous.
00:18:25Maybe I should use that nitrous as my plus one to your birthday.
00:18:27I don't know.
00:18:28I heard he's pretty gassy.
00:18:31Oh, you found your audience.
00:18:34It's your birthday?
00:18:36Happy birthday!
00:18:38Oh, you should come to her birthday tomorrow.
00:18:41Oh, I would love to!
00:18:43Wait, how do we get there?
00:18:47Do you have a car?
00:18:48I do!
00:18:50I can drive there.
00:18:52You are a drug dealer.
00:18:53Yeah, I know.
00:18:55Oh, yes!
00:18:59Phoebe, let's go!
00:19:00You can put your face on in the car!
00:19:10Sorry, guys.
00:19:11It's work drama.
00:19:12Hey, Linda.
00:19:13Just about to roll out for the weekend with the family.
00:19:15What's up?
00:19:17Whoa, Linda, I can't understand you when you're talking so fast.
00:19:19Oh, my God.
00:19:20Oh, my God.
00:19:21Oh, my God!
00:19:22He's gonna be okay, right?
00:19:23What do you mean you can't find him?
00:19:24Oh, I get it.
00:19:25We're lying.
00:19:26Yes!
00:19:27Of course, I will be right there.
00:19:28Yes!
00:19:29I will be there in person.
00:19:30Big ol' lie.
00:19:31Cool.
00:19:32Sounds fun.
00:19:33Okay.
00:19:34Oh, my God.
00:19:35I'm so sorry, you guys.
00:19:36I can't go.
00:19:37Elliot is missing.
00:19:38Who's Elliot?
00:19:39He's the face of the alopecia campaign.
00:19:41So he's a llama?
00:19:42No, Todd.
00:19:43He's an alpaca.
00:19:44He's an alpaca.
00:19:45Oh, Todd.
00:19:46He's an alpaca.
00:19:47Oh, I get it.
00:19:48We're lying.
00:19:49Yes!
00:19:50Of course, I will be right there.
00:19:51Yes!
00:19:52I will be there in person.
00:19:53Big ol' lie.
00:19:54Cool.
00:19:55Sounds fun.
00:19:56Okay.
00:19:57Oh, my God.
00:19:58I'm so sorry, you guys.
00:19:59I can't go.
00:20:00Elliot is missing.
00:20:01Who's Elliot?
00:20:02Look, I am so sorry.
00:20:04I was really looking forward to going cross-country skiing
00:20:07with the skis and the knees.
00:20:10It's okay, honey.
00:20:11I'll just cancel the private lesson I set up for you
00:20:13with the bronze medalist.
00:20:15Let me just make sure I can cancel his flight from Norway.
00:20:18Airlines are so great to deal with.
00:20:25I knew this was gonna happen.
00:20:27I just had a sense.
00:20:29Are you seriously not gonna come?
00:20:31Work needs me.
00:20:32What?
00:20:33What is that?
00:20:34It's just I want a wife who will celebrate my victories with me.
00:20:39But instead, I have one who's running all over town
00:20:41looking for a loose llama.
00:20:44Alpaca.
00:20:45Alpaca.
00:20:46Just give me a kiss so my parents don't think that we're fighting.
00:20:50No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:20:51Those jello shots, they go in the kitchen and the kegs, they go in the man cave.
00:21:05And that lick-or-lose, just wherever it fits.
00:21:06Hi.
00:21:07Oh.
00:21:08Hello.
00:21:09Oh, hello.
00:21:10Are you selling Girl Scout cookies?
00:21:11No, I bring in the mail for the Jones when they're out of town.
00:21:12Oh, cool.
00:21:13Cool.
00:21:14Cool.
00:21:15Well, I'm their son's wife, Evie.
00:21:16Nice to meet you.
00:21:17I'm gonna be staying here this weekend.
00:21:18Cool.
00:21:19Yeah, and you're just throwing a little get-together for a friend.
00:21:2030-year-old birthday party.
00:21:21You wouldn't know anything about that.
00:21:22Oh.
00:21:23Oh.
00:21:24Oh.
00:21:25Oh.
00:21:26Oh.
00:21:27Oh.
00:21:28Oh.
00:21:29Oh.
00:21:30Oh.
00:21:31Oh.
00:21:32Oh.
00:21:33Oh.
00:21:34Oh.
00:21:35Oh.
00:21:36Oh.
00:21:37Oh.
00:21:38Oh.
00:21:39Oh.
00:21:40Oh.
00:21:41Oh.
00:21:42Oh.
00:21:43Oh.
00:21:44Oh.
00:21:45Oh.
00:21:46Oh.
00:21:47Oh.
00:21:48Oh.
00:21:49Not that, right?
00:21:50Or what?
00:21:51College?
00:21:52High school.
00:21:53High school.
00:21:54High school.
00:21:55High school.
00:21:56Mm-hmm.
00:21:57Cool.
00:21:58Well, it's very low-key.
00:21:59You know, small.
00:22:00Nothing that the Jones would need to know or be worried about, so.
00:22:01Cool.
00:22:04Okay, you can invite two friends if you don't say anything about it.
00:22:07I-I don't know if I have two friends.
00:22:10Five.
00:22:11Five friends, but that's it.
00:22:12And it doesn't leave this house.
00:22:13You got it?
00:22:14What just happened?
00:22:15Exactly.
00:22:16Yes.
00:22:17Do you still want me to-
00:22:20Yes, thank you.
00:22:21Right there is great.
00:22:22And can I get six jello shots upstairs, please?
00:22:24Just orange.
00:22:28I stayed up all night doing these.
00:22:30Yeah, I know.
00:22:31That's why I'm paying you time and a half.
00:22:35Rufus, what the hell?
00:22:37Party time.
00:22:39I'm, like, 70% sure that's not how you spell party or time.
00:22:44Okay, I just thought, like, hey, who wants to wear a shirt that's spelled correctly?
00:22:48You know, we live in the digital age.
00:22:51Spelling is, like, subjective.
00:22:54You know?
00:22:56Okay, I did these last night after a guidance counselor show.
00:23:00I was super drunk.
00:23:01Dude, can't keep messing up like this.
00:23:03I mean, remember last week with the All Saints softball shirts you ruined?
00:23:06I changed my band name to the All Taints.
00:23:10We sold out.
00:23:11I know.
00:23:12It's an awesome shirt.
00:23:13But that's not the point.
00:23:14You know, this business, this is my passion.
00:23:17You just need to know that, like, you're in my corner.
00:23:19I am in your corner.
00:23:20Any corner.
00:23:21Pick a corner.
00:23:22I'm in that corner.
00:23:23It's in three hours.
00:23:24Are you kidding me?
00:23:25Fine.
00:23:26Are you okay?
00:23:28Yeah.
00:23:29I know that Kate wanted some classy stuff, so I ordered one of those naked sushi girls
00:23:32for the party.
00:23:33I'm still waiting on that classy part.
00:23:35But she canceled.
00:23:36Just now.
00:23:37Oh.
00:23:38Hi.
00:23:39Hey, lady.
00:23:40I am headed your way.
00:23:42On your way?
00:23:43It's like six o'clock.
00:23:44What are you, seventh grade?
00:23:45Well, I don't know.
00:23:46I thought I could help.
00:23:47What?
00:23:48No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:23:49We have everything under control.
00:23:50Okay, well, I'm gonna grab a coffee.
00:23:51Do you want me to pick anything up?
00:23:52I don't know.
00:23:53Milk.
00:23:54You didn't get milk from my white Russian?
00:23:55I've got to put that on the catering list.
00:23:57Caterers.
00:23:58Evie, this is supposed to be small.
00:23:59It's gonna be very small.
00:24:01Small food, small drinks, small caterers.
00:24:03This party is gonna be so small that you'll hardly see it.
00:24:06Okay, well, I'm headed over.
00:24:07Great!
00:24:09Okay, people.
00:24:10Double time.
00:24:11Red Eagle lands in one hour.
00:24:20Fucking good, Ash.
00:24:21Hey.
00:24:22Could you get me something to eat?
00:24:24Yeah, of course.
00:24:25What do you want?
00:24:26Great.
00:24:27Let me get a cup of coffee, and then barbecue lays, and then like an apple, and then something
00:24:31savory, but you can choose.
00:24:33Anything else?
00:24:34Two crullers, a pack of cigars, maybe like a king-size whatchamacall bar, some gummy bears,
00:24:40and then get yourself something.
00:24:41And then get yourself something.
00:24:47Two crullers, a pack of cigars, and then take a cup of tea.
00:24:48You're a little bit of a drink.
00:24:49Are you okay?
00:24:50Yeah, what do you want?
00:24:51I don't know what it's gonna be.
00:24:52Do you want to take your tea?
00:24:53What if you want to take your tea?
00:24:56I don't know what it's going to be.
00:24:57Oh, I'm not too bad.
00:24:58I don't know what it's going to be.
00:24:59I don't know what it is.
00:25:00I don't know what it's going to be.
00:25:02I don't know what it's going to be.
00:25:03Oh, stupid.
00:25:33Oh, my God.
00:25:59It's actually happening.
00:26:01What's happening?
00:26:02Hey, what the heck are you doing with a picture of my girlfriend on your computer?
00:26:07Mom!
00:26:08Oh, little baby wants to talk to his mom.
00:26:10Tough luck, because she just left to buy me some more push-up pops.
00:26:13What is the deal with this party?
00:26:15My invite must have got lost in the mail.
00:26:17It's an email, so...
00:26:18I don't think Mom would approve of you going to a party with alcohol, would she?
00:26:23Unless, of course, you brought your big brother as a chaperone.
00:26:26Fine.
00:26:27Perfect.
00:26:28Pick me up at eight?
00:26:30Great.
00:26:30You live here.
00:26:34All right, you just keep doing that, buddy.
00:26:37No, kiss me back.
00:26:39Kiss me back.
00:26:40No, kiss me back.
00:26:48No, kiss me back.
00:26:50It was a big time, man.
00:26:53Remember, it ain't been so good.
00:26:55All I said, if you can, then you should.
00:26:57Oh, we are.
00:26:58Oh, we are.
00:27:02Do you try?
00:27:03I am.
00:27:03There she is! The birthday girl!
00:27:26Hi!
00:27:27Um, Evie, I think I said small and tasteful.
00:27:30Uh, Kate, small and tasteful is how you describe your Olsen twin.
00:27:33Not an awesome V-Day blowout bag?
00:27:35Who are all these people?
00:27:37Oh my God, Lucas.
00:27:39The sign to...
00:27:40What is happening, you crazy idiots!
00:27:43Next song, Pumpkin Goats!
00:27:48Okay, so I tried to get you one of those naked girls that's covered in sashimi, but you cancelled.
00:27:53Thank God.
00:27:54So, I improvised!
00:27:56A crotch covered in mini pizzas you shouldn't have, Evie.
00:28:01She really shouldn't have.
00:28:02Here we have Rufus wearing the season's hottest snacks.
00:28:05Perfect for an autumn wedding or to stuff our faces with later when we're drunk.
00:28:09Did you get in trouble at the shop again?
00:28:11It was worth it.
00:28:12Happy birthday.
00:28:14Oh, let me show you the kitchen.
00:28:15Okay.
00:28:16Bye.
00:28:17Excuse me.
00:28:18Do you have any Rihanna?
00:28:19No!
00:28:20Beyonce?
00:28:21No!
00:28:22Bahaman!
00:28:23Oh, who let the dogs out?
00:28:24No!
00:28:25No, no, no!
00:28:26I hold them in the kennel and then I'll play beats!
00:28:27In the kitchen!
00:28:28Oh!
00:28:29Hey!
00:28:30Hey!
00:28:31Hey!
00:28:32Hey!
00:28:33Hey!
00:28:34Hey!
00:28:35Hey!
00:28:36Hey!
00:28:37Hey!
00:28:38Hey!
00:28:39Hey!
00:28:40Hey!
00:28:41Hey!
00:28:42Hey!
00:28:43Hey!
00:28:44Hey!
00:28:45Hey!
00:28:46Hey!
00:28:47Hey!
00:28:48Hey!
00:28:49Hey!
00:28:50Hey, what's going on here?
00:28:51Funnel caking!
00:28:52You funnel a bear and then you eat cake!
00:28:53Hey!
00:28:54You gotta get out more...
00:28:55Apparently!
00:28:56Oh!
00:28:57Hey!
00:28:58Hey!
00:28:59In honor of me finally not being the only one in the 30's club, I'd like to propose a toast...
00:29:02To Evie, for organizing one hell of a party...
00:29:04Thank you!
00:29:05I did!
00:29:06To Charlie, for having friends that I don't have to pretend to like...
00:29:09Yep.
00:29:10...and to Kate...
00:29:11Well, thank you!
00:29:12Cheers!
00:29:13Cheers!
00:29:14Down the hatch?
00:29:15Ah!
00:29:17Woo!
00:29:18Okay, now let's go see who can funnel the cake the fastest.
00:29:20After Kate goes first!
00:29:22I'm terrified!
00:29:23Yes!
00:29:24Aren't you?
00:29:25Let's do it!
00:29:26Pace yourself. Show off.
00:29:28I know you're excited, but I don't want competitive Charlie coming out.
00:29:30Whenever she shows up, it always means a horrible night for me.
00:29:33I am pacing myself.
00:29:35Promise?
00:29:36Yeah.
00:29:37Whoa, you worried?
00:29:38Oh, relax.
00:29:39No one's gonna notice it.
00:29:40I couldn't bring myself to take it off.
00:29:41This thing is amazing.
00:29:42I know, it is amazing.
00:29:43Can we afford it?
00:29:44Hmm?
00:29:45What? Financially?
00:29:46No, but we can afford to be happy.
00:29:49Hmm.
00:29:50Well, okay.
00:29:51Could you go check on Rufus for me?
00:29:53I'm sure he might be cold.
00:29:54Yeah.
00:29:55You chill with your friends.
00:29:56Okay.
00:29:57A little harder.
00:29:59Kate!
00:30:00Kate!
00:30:01Kate!
00:30:02Kate!
00:30:03Woo!
00:30:04Yeah!
00:30:05Oh!
00:30:06Oh my God!
00:30:07That was terrible.
00:30:08Okay, you guys.
00:30:09Remember how we were reminiscing about the glory days?
00:30:11Hold on.
00:30:12Uh, when were our glory days?
00:30:13High school.
00:30:14Okay, if high school were glory days, just take me out back and do an old yeller.
00:30:18Very cute.
00:30:19No, I thought it would be really fun to invite some of the people that we went to high school
00:30:22with tonight.
00:30:23So I got a yes from Leslie Marks.
00:30:25Aw.
00:30:26And from Kelly Evans.
00:30:27And I got a maybe from, are you ready for this?
00:30:30Ben Jenkins.
00:30:32Ben Jenkins?
00:30:33Why would you invite an ex from high school?
00:30:35What?
00:30:36We're all adults.
00:30:37Get real.
00:30:38Look, I just think it's really fun to see some of the people from our past.
00:30:41Something I hope that you might-
00:30:42Guess who?
00:30:43Um, someone who recently ate ham?
00:30:46Oh!
00:30:47Oh!
00:30:48Jesus!
00:30:49Peter Finch!
00:30:50Look at you!
00:30:51Yeah, Evie found me on Facebook, made sure I got an invite.
00:30:52Thanks, Evie.
00:30:53You're welcome.
00:30:54So, uh, what have you been up to the past decade?
00:30:55All sorts of different stuff.
00:30:56Watching football, fantasy football.
00:30:57Been coaching some football over in Jefferson County, but I just moved back to town because-
00:30:58Hold on to your panties.
00:30:59I'm the new sports director at Lincoln High!
00:31:00Thank you for the warning!
00:31:01My panties could have been all-
00:31:02Pew!
00:31:03Pew!
00:31:04Pew!
00:31:05Pew!
00:31:06Pew!
00:31:07Did she just skate shoot her panties?
00:31:08I did indeed.
00:31:09Straight up.
00:31:10You're always so smart.
00:31:11You're always so smart.
00:31:12You're always so smart.
00:31:13So, uh, what have you been up to the past decade?
00:31:14All sorts of different stuff.
00:31:15Watching football.
00:31:16Fantasy football.
00:31:17Been coaching some football over in Jefferson County.
00:31:18But I just moved back to town because-
00:31:19Hold on to your panties.
00:31:20I'm the new sports director at Lincoln High!
00:31:21Thank you for the warning!
00:31:22My panties could have been all-
00:31:23Pew!
00:31:24Pew!
00:31:25Pew!
00:31:26Pew!
00:31:27Pew!
00:31:28Pew!
00:31:29You're always so smart.
00:31:30I'm sure you're doing all sorts of cool things with your life.
00:31:32Um, you know, lots of cool things.
00:31:35Uh, keeping really busy.
00:31:36Hey, I got a quick question about that sports director thing.
00:31:40Um, who makes the uniforms for Lincoln High?
00:31:43Uh, I think that's East Side, Trophy, and Print.
00:31:47Got it.
00:31:48Straight up, Kate, you look fine.
00:31:51You haven't changed a bit since high school.
00:31:54Peter, you look good, too.
00:31:58Hell yeah.
00:31:59Okay, I'm gonna go clean up the funnel cake mess.
00:32:01Yeah, go do that.
00:32:02So glad you're here!
00:32:03It's so good to see you!
00:32:04Peace, girl.
00:32:05So, I'm-
00:32:06Straight up, Evie, you look fine.
00:32:09You haven't changed a bit since high school.
00:32:11Did you go to Lincoln High?
00:32:13Yeah, I was a grade under you.
00:32:16I don't think so.
00:32:17I'd remember if you were ever under me.
00:32:19Okay, I'm gonna go get Kate some new panties.
00:32:24Yeah, sounds good.
00:32:25Peace, girl.
00:32:26Straight up.
00:32:27Panties.
00:32:28Hell yeah.
00:32:29Hey, buddy.
00:32:30Hi.
00:32:31How you doing?
00:32:32Sitting here all by yourself, being overly dramatic?
00:32:34Does it mean for us to come find you?
00:32:36Took you ten minutes.
00:32:37New record, slowpokes.
00:32:38Yikes.
00:32:39Sorry, she mad.
00:32:40No, I'm not mad.
00:32:41I swear, I'm not mad.
00:32:42Even though this is exactly what I did not ask for.
00:32:44That is debatable.
00:32:45But really, and I can't believe I'm about to say this to you guys,
00:32:46I swear, I'm not mad, even though this is exactly what I did not ask for.
00:32:49That is debatable, but really, and I can't believe I'm about to say this to you guys.
00:32:53I'm so mad.
00:32:54If I can't believe I'm not mad at you, I'm so mad.
00:32:56What?
00:32:57I'm gonna be.
00:32:58You got mad at you right here?
00:32:59I'll be a busy last night.
00:33:00Oh, I don't know.
00:33:02I'm so mad at you.
00:33:02Only a little bit.
00:33:03Oh, yes.
00:33:04This is a little bit.
00:33:05No, I've got to be all that.
00:33:09I can't stop thinking about that letter.
00:33:11Oh, my God.
00:33:13Not one thing on that damn letter came true.
00:33:15Uh, except for this party.
00:33:17Yes, thank you.
00:33:19And, okay, who cares about that stupid letter?
00:33:21I'm pretty sure that mine said,
00:33:23I was gonna marry Justin Timberlake
00:33:25and be Oscar-nominated by now.
00:33:27Do you see me practicing my acceptance speech?
00:33:29Oh, yeah, like, all the time. Like, in the car,
00:33:31when you're hanging out, or you think you're alone
00:33:33for even a second. Great, good. It's a great speech.
00:33:35Okay, um, bringing this back to me?
00:33:37For a sec? Mm-hmm.
00:33:38I don't know. That letter was just, like,
00:33:40hey, Kate, your job is super lame,
00:33:43and your fun is just organized clubs,
00:33:47and one day you're gonna get happy hour
00:33:49with your two best friends,
00:33:50and your two friends are gonna order club soda,
00:33:52and you're gonna realize they're pregnant,
00:33:54and they're gonna have kids,
00:33:55and they're not gonna have time for Taco Tuesday,
00:33:57and you're just gonna be this, like, weird, sad,
00:34:00lonely cat lady aunt that sends them
00:34:02over-sexualized birthday cards.
00:34:04Kate, that is ridiculous.
00:34:05I know it is.
00:34:06Cause I hate cats.
00:34:08Yeah.
00:34:09And I'm not gonna compromise this body with pregnancy.
00:34:11Okay.
00:34:12First of all, can we stop saying the P word?
00:34:14I'm pretty sure that my mother-in-law's been
00:34:16slipping prenatal vitamins into my Pinot Grigio.
00:34:18That is scary.
00:34:19Mm-hmm. I know.
00:34:20But second of all, you're just, you're in a rut, Kate.
00:34:22You have all of these little routines
00:34:24and these little schedules,
00:34:26and you just, you never let loose.
00:34:28Look at you.
00:34:29You're dressed like a substitute teacher
00:34:30for your 30th birthday party.
00:34:31Okay.
00:34:32Excuse me.
00:34:33This is faux leather.
00:34:34Leather?
00:34:35Substitutes are fun.
00:34:36Okay.
00:34:37But you need to let loose.
00:34:39Yeah.
00:34:40So tonight, let loose.
00:34:41Yeah. Party time.
00:34:42Yeah. Party time.
00:34:43Party time.
00:34:44What is the deal with these shirts?
00:34:46I don't understand them at all.
00:34:47It's a Rufus thing.
00:34:49But it doesn't matter,
00:34:50because if anyone asks,
00:34:51it's our inside joke.
00:34:52Perfect.
00:34:54I kind of love that.
00:34:56Yes, you do.
00:34:57Uh, party time on three?
00:34:59One, two, three.
00:35:00This is so stupid.
00:35:01Party time!
00:35:03Yeah, woo!
00:35:04Here's yours.
00:35:05Oh, it's my collar.
00:35:06Yeah.
00:35:07You thought you were going to look cute tonight.
00:35:08No way.
00:35:09That's what friends are for.
00:35:10Mm-hmm.
00:35:11It'll look great with leather.
00:35:14Rebecca, you made it!
00:35:16Hey!
00:35:17Oh, oh, Kate.
00:35:18Kate, you remember Rebecca from last year?
00:35:19Yeah, I think we had art together for a few semesters.
00:35:23How you doing?
00:35:24Good.
00:35:25Okay.
00:35:26Oh, man.
00:35:27Poor thing.
00:35:28You know, her entire Instagram feed is just covered
00:35:30in photos of her five kids in matching outfits.
00:35:33You know, tonight might actually be the first night
00:35:35that she's been out of her house since Lincoln.
00:35:37Well, maybe she is super happy.
00:35:40Kate, her newborn wears headbands.
00:35:43That woman is bored to death.
00:35:44Oh, my God, Tommy Hughes is here.
00:35:46I am pretty sure that I gave him an H.J.
00:35:48on the opening night of Pippin.
00:35:49I should get...
00:35:50God, you know, it always shocked me
00:35:51how much ass you theater kids got.
00:35:53Oh, yeah, I mean, second only to youth church groups.
00:35:55Yeah, I'm gonna...
00:35:56I'll meet you guys in there, okay?
00:35:57Hi!
00:35:58Hi!
00:35:59Hey!
00:36:00Yes!
00:36:01Yeah, friends hug.
00:36:02Yeah, let's do it.
00:36:03I am surprised to see you.
00:36:05Was that a throwaway invite?
00:36:07No.
00:36:08I was saying I'm surprised in a good way.
00:36:10Cool.
00:36:11Yeah.
00:36:12Why don't you have a drink in your hand?
00:36:13Guilty.
00:36:14Ooh, problem.
00:36:15Um, well, I'm gonna go get myself and you a drink.
00:36:18A beer, wine.
00:36:20A white Russian?
00:36:21No way.
00:36:22They are delicious.
00:36:23That's my favorite drink.
00:36:24Really?
00:36:25Get out of here.
00:36:26Well, I should let you go do your birthday host thing.
00:36:29Uh, so I will make you drink and then come find you.
00:36:32That is a perfect plan.
00:36:33Okay.
00:36:34Welcome to my party.
00:36:35Thank you for making me feel welcome.
00:36:37You're welcome for feeling...
00:36:39Welcome.
00:36:40With this could go all night.
00:36:41Bye-bye.
00:36:42Hi, I'm Raven.
00:37:06There's somebody under there, dude.
00:37:15Don't mind me.
00:37:17Who did this to you?
00:37:20Are you the victim of a snack avalanche?
00:37:24Uh, nope.
00:37:25This is just my job tonight.
00:37:27Uh, so your job is to be a plate?
00:37:30No.
00:37:31I am a plate.
00:37:33There was acid in that baba ganoush you just ate.
00:37:37This is a hallucination.
00:37:42Ooh.
00:37:50Oh, boy!
00:37:51I hope your necks are made of ice cream cones,
00:37:53because this next track is gonna make your faces made!
00:37:56Yeah!
00:38:02I'm gonna have to see some ID, young man.
00:38:04I...
00:38:05I...
00:38:06I'm just screwing with you.
00:38:07Can I have a sip?
00:38:08What is that?
00:38:09Glenfinich or Glenmorange25?
00:38:13Apple juice.
00:38:14You're trying to kill me?
00:38:17Excuse me.
00:38:19How old are you?
00:38:20Hi.
00:38:21Hey.
00:38:22Thanks for inviting us.
00:38:23Us?
00:38:24Yo!
00:38:25What's up, Timmy?
00:38:29Um, it's Oliver.
00:38:30Yeah, that's what I said.
00:38:31Dude, you know where to get a drink around here for me and my boys?
00:38:33Um, the bar, I guess.
00:38:35Cool.
00:38:36Kents.
00:38:37Some tequila?
00:38:38Eh?
00:38:39I'm good.
00:38:40I just bought her.
00:38:41Lame.
00:38:42Excuse me.
00:38:43Coming through.
00:38:44Beep beep.
00:38:45Watch your feet.
00:38:46Seven.
00:38:47Eight.
00:38:48Nine.
00:38:49Ten.
00:38:50Eleven.
00:38:51Twelve.
00:38:52Thirteen.
00:38:53Fourteen.
00:38:54Woo!
00:38:55Yeah!
00:38:56Woo!
00:38:57Fourteen seconds.
00:38:58That's, uh, it's not bad.
00:38:59It's not bad.
00:39:00Not bad?
00:39:01Let's see what you got.
00:39:04Excuse me.
00:39:08Oh, no, no, no.
00:39:09I don't do yoga four days a week to need a lift.
00:39:11Woo!
00:39:12Go!
00:39:13Go!
00:39:14Go!
00:39:15Go!
00:39:16Go!
00:39:17Go!
00:39:18Go!
00:39:19Go!
00:39:20Go!
00:39:21Go!
00:39:22Go!
00:39:23Go!
00:39:24Go!
00:39:25Go!
00:39:26Go!
00:39:27Go!
00:39:28Go!
00:39:29Go!
00:39:30Go!
00:39:31Go!
00:39:32Go!
00:39:33Go!
00:39:34Go!
00:39:35Go!
00:39:36Go!
00:39:37Go!
00:39:38Go!
00:39:40Go!
00:39:44You have a very lovely spread but do have you none sauerkraut?
00:39:45Betzles?
00:39:47Wiener schnitzel.
00:39:49So, you might want to nix the wiener talk with my current state.
00:39:53Fine.
00:39:55Takedos it is.
00:39:57Who's manning the booth?
00:39:59...the booth...
00:40:00chicken!
00:40:01It's nice catching up, Rebecca
00:40:04Wow!
00:40:07Wow!
00:40:07I didn't recognize me in my weekend mode, did you?
00:40:11I just wanted to say hi
00:40:12I know that it's your birthday
00:40:14And you probably don't want your rad new boyfriend
00:40:17Hanging on you all now
00:40:18Uh, Richard?
00:40:19Raven
00:40:19Raven?
00:40:20Raven, really try and drop it down
00:40:21It should be from your diaphragm
00:40:23Raven, you're not my boyfriend
00:40:24We went on one date
00:40:26And I army crawled away from you
00:40:28Yeah, yeah, I know, I know
00:40:29And it's your upper body strength
00:40:30It's one of the things I love most about you
00:40:32Okay, okay, great
00:40:34Anyway, boyfriend, future boyfriend
00:40:37Whatever you want to call it, my dear
00:40:39Raven will be around
00:40:41Permission to touch thy shoulders
00:40:42Not permissed
00:40:43Raven underscales
00:40:44Raven apologizes
00:40:45Oh, sorry
00:40:46Sorry, Raven is sorry
00:40:48Raven is sorry about that as well
00:40:50That guy just spent 20 minutes trying to sell me a VCR
00:40:55Did you buy it?
00:40:56Well, I wasn't gonna
00:40:56But then he threw in all 10 seasons of Friends
00:40:58Oh, nice
00:41:00Thank you
00:41:01Yeah
00:41:01Oh
00:41:03Just take it through
00:41:04Uh
00:41:06Are you okay?
00:41:09Maybe take these drinks outside
00:41:10Yeah
00:41:10Yeah
00:41:11Warzone
00:41:11I'll be up there in like two minutes
00:41:13Hey, Evie
00:41:17This is gonna sound nuts
00:41:19But did you invite Raven to this party?
00:41:22Raven Samoa?
00:41:22Yeah, of course I did
00:41:23But she never tweeted back
00:41:24I'm sorry
00:41:25It's okay
00:41:26Whoa, whoa, whoa
00:41:27Where did you get this?
00:41:28Mantle
00:41:29This is a 1700s Norwegian ski that a king did something for
00:41:34You know what?
00:41:35Let's just do this
00:41:36I've never met anyone else who will make a white Russian at a party
00:41:41Oh, see, what I do is I rationalize all the vodka I'm drinking because the milk is good for my teeth
00:41:46Yeah
00:41:47What's your excuse?
00:41:50I went through a big Lebowski phase
00:41:52Yikes
00:41:53Yeah, there's way too many photos of me wearing a robe in public from that time
00:41:57But, um, I can pull at 2.30, so there's that
00:42:00I'm impressed
00:42:01I'm the one who's impressed
00:42:04Um, I mean, don't take this the wrong way
00:42:06Oh, that is such a good way to start a sentence
00:42:09I guess I just
00:42:11I didn't think that somebody who owns scrubs
00:42:13With cartoon teeth wearing cowboy hats on them would have such a rager
00:42:17So what do you do? Are you, like, a lumberjack or something?
00:42:22Is that a flannel joke? You know, flannels are in
00:42:25Apparently
00:42:26I wish I did something as manly as lumberjacking
00:42:29I'm in website design
00:42:31Oh, cool
00:42:32So you're a nerd
00:42:34Um, uh, so how does, uh, one fall into
00:42:39The glamorous life of an orthodontist assistant?
00:42:44Uh, well, first you get made fun of for your braces in high school
00:42:47Oh, I had to wear an eye patch in kindergarten to correct a lazy eye
00:42:50In reality, I looked like a pirate
00:42:52And everybody in my class thought it was awesome
00:42:54Cool brag, I guess
00:42:57Yeah, I don't know why I shared that
00:43:00I think I was trying to relate
00:43:02Uh, no, so I actually went to school
00:43:06Dental school to be an orthodontist
00:43:08But, I don't know, I just freaked out
00:43:10When they wanted me to pull a tooth
00:43:12It's really scary
00:43:14Gave me the heebie-jeebies
00:43:15The heebie-jeebies?
00:43:16Ma'am, is this your 90th birthday?
00:43:19Okay, how dare you
00:43:21The heebie-jeebies is a thing
00:43:23People say that, I think
00:43:24No, I'm sorry
00:43:25I shouldn't make fun of somebody
00:43:26Who knows I wear an adult retainer
00:43:27You have the power
00:43:28Cannot wait to abuse it
00:43:30I cannot wait to be abused
00:43:32Okay
00:43:34What are we even talking about?
00:43:37What did we miss?
00:43:49Competitive Charlie is back
00:43:50And she's out of control
00:43:51Claire, this is Dan
00:43:57Dan, Claire
00:43:58I am responsible for all of that
00:44:04All right
00:44:08All right
00:44:08Round three will commence in this room in 15 minutes
00:44:13Okay
00:44:14What happened to our pinky promise?
00:44:16Oh, Claire Bear
00:44:17Everything is under control
00:44:18Hey, Charlie
00:44:19Do you want me to leave the ice in the kiddie pool
00:44:21Or unload it for the sumo challenge?
00:44:22Leave it in the kiddie pool
00:44:23Just trust me
00:44:26Take it easy
00:44:26I don't want to be a widow before we even get married
00:44:28Oh
00:44:28But you look so good in black
00:44:30Yeah
00:44:30Ready to go
00:44:37Can I play?
00:45:00Yeah
00:45:03Yeah, yeah, totally
00:45:03Totally
00:45:04Uh, where's Derek?
00:45:12Uh, having a pissing contest
00:45:15Is he still trying to help push up that short lady?
00:45:18No
00:45:18No, he's literally outside
00:45:20Having a pissing contest with his friends
00:45:24Oh, wow
00:45:24Yeah
00:45:25Um, do you know how to play?
00:45:28Yeah
00:45:28Um, um
00:45:30So the horse can, like, gallop to the other side, right?
00:45:35Like, bailout
00:45:36Not, not traditionally
00:45:38I mean, we can, we can play by different rules or something
00:45:40There's other forms of chess, I think
00:45:43So, um
00:45:44Just
00:45:46I, I, I'm totally kidding
00:45:49Just kidding
00:45:51Oh, wow
00:45:52Uh, checkmate
00:45:55And now I have eight cats
00:46:02Seriously?
00:46:03Kate, no
00:46:03Kate, you have to come see this
00:46:05We started doing body shots
00:46:06And this one girl's belly button can hold, like, eight ounces
00:46:09That is gross
00:46:10I know
00:46:11Uh, Evie, this is Dan
00:46:12Dan
00:46:13Evie
00:46:14She threw me the birthday party
00:46:15Congrats
00:46:16Thank you
00:46:16This is just like parties in high school
00:46:18Thank you
00:46:20Or, at least how I imagine them to be
00:46:22Is I sat at home and played Oregon Trail
00:46:24Yes
00:46:25Alerting children of the dangers of dysentery
00:46:28I was more of a typhoid guy myself
00:46:30You know what?
00:46:30I'd say that about you
00:46:31Well, major flirt alert
00:46:33Don't want to get hurt
00:46:35Object
00:46:35You know, I'm gonna go take that body shot
00:46:39Do you wanna watch this disaster?
00:46:43I'm good
00:46:44Body shots
00:46:45Give me the heebie-jeebies
00:46:46See what you did there
00:46:48You're clever
00:46:49Well, it was for your benefit
00:46:50Something got you down, sad clown?
00:46:59Look at that
00:46:59My girlfriend flirting with some other guy right in front of me
00:47:03She bossed me, then tossed me
00:47:05Shocking
00:47:06The guy in all black is depressed about something
00:47:08That's hilarious
00:47:10Lucky for you, cliches are one of my things
00:47:12Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate
00:47:17Kate!
00:47:18And now I'm gonna go brush my teeth
00:47:20No offense
00:47:21I'm sorry, were you wearing wool earlier today?
00:47:25Totally
00:47:26Okay, me next, me next
00:47:27Okay, go
00:47:28I'll take this one
00:47:35Well, well, well
00:47:36If it isn't the one that got away
00:47:38The Sanny D to my Danny Zuko
00:47:41Well, I'll be damned
00:47:43Ben Jenkins
00:47:45Mmm
00:47:49It's good
00:47:52Okay
00:47:53So look at you, you haven't aged a bit
00:47:57Same for you, except you are super ripped now
00:48:01I'm just trying to make an ex challenge
00:48:04An ex?
00:48:05Oh, bravo
00:48:06So where have you been hiding these days?
00:48:09I don't know
00:48:10I'm here and there and
00:48:12Um
00:48:13Give me a second Ben
00:48:18Don't leave
00:48:19You are like a girl
00:48:22You're so pretty
00:48:23Hi
00:48:24How are you?
00:48:25Great
00:48:25You know what?
00:48:26I don't remember inviting you, Ashley
00:48:28Oh, that's funny
00:48:29I don't remember the fountain being full of puke
00:48:31When I sold this house to Frank and Nancy
00:48:33You know what?
00:48:34Let me just text Nancy really quick to see you
00:48:36You know what?
00:48:37Please
00:48:38Come in
00:48:39Make yourself at home
00:48:40Thank you
00:48:42Mm-hmm
00:48:43Ooh, jello shots
00:48:46Okay, all right
00:48:47Ugh
00:48:47You know, I am starving
00:48:48It is
00:48:54That's awesome
00:48:55How's it going?
00:48:56How are you doing?
00:48:57Hey, girls
00:48:58Hey, Kate
00:48:59Hey, come here for one second
00:49:00One quick second
00:49:01Okay
00:49:01Um, I am calling an official meeting
00:49:04Are we the babysitter's club now?
00:49:06No
00:49:06Oh, but if we were, I would totally be Caucasian Claudia Kishi
00:49:09You know, I see you as more of a don
00:49:11Okay, guys, hey, yeah
00:49:12Sorry, can we move this along?
00:49:13I'm, like, really in the middle of something
00:49:14Okay, um, Ashley's here
00:49:16Ashley Driscoll?
00:49:17Yeah, and I asked her to leave
00:49:19But apparently she knows Todd's parents
00:49:21And, but then I thought about your letter
00:49:24And the P.S.
00:49:25This is a perfect opportunity to cross something off
00:49:27Of that stupid letter
00:49:29Yeah, we can make her eat shit
00:49:30Actually, I'm not really thinking about the letter anymore, guys
00:49:32What do you mean you're not really thinking about the letter anymore?
00:49:36Like, two hours ago, you were gonna have that letter tattooed on your thigh
00:49:40Oh, by the way, if anyone wants to get tattoos tonight, I am so game
00:49:45No, uh, you know that guy Dan I was talking to?
00:49:47Yeah, the guy in the flam?
00:49:50I think I like him
00:49:51He's cute, right?
00:49:53Yeah
00:49:53I would let him wear me like a bonnet
00:49:55I like a boy
00:49:58And the best part is, I think he likes me too
00:50:01It's even better, really
00:50:02I'm having fun tonight
00:50:03You should be
00:50:05Can you guys guess what I'm doing?
00:50:07I have no idea
00:50:08I'm Kate
00:50:09Climbing out of her rut
00:50:10Yeah, but see, that's also how you dance
00:50:13That's why it's confusing
00:50:14Oh, we should do shots to celebrate
00:50:16I will rain check because I'm gonna pace myself tonight
00:50:18Gonna see how things go with Jan
00:50:21Hey, uh, do you guys know the birthday girl, Kate?
00:50:29Of course
00:50:30Uh, what, you think we were like just riding by on our Razor scooters
00:50:34And we're like, hey, there's a party, let's go in there
00:50:36Yeah, and then we accidentally ate some Mediterranean eggplant dipped that had acid in it
00:50:40So now we feel trapped here
00:50:42Okay, uh, well, when she comes back down here
00:50:45Can you let her know that Dan ran out to grab more milk?
00:50:49I'll be back in like ten minutes
00:50:50Sure, man, no problem
00:50:54Was that a human we were talking to?
00:51:01Girl, you look fine
00:51:03You haven't changed a bit since high school
00:51:05I'd rather die
00:51:07Are there any more jello shots?
00:51:12Who put a banister here?
00:51:15This should be an open floor concept, you jackholes
00:51:18You, you aren't thinking of driving, are you?
00:51:22I live six blocks away
00:51:24Okay, that's a relief
00:51:25Of course I'm driving
00:51:26Stupid
00:51:27Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
00:51:30Is that a magic eight ball keychain?
00:51:33Yes
00:51:34It tells me when I should have sex
00:51:36Do you wanna have sex?
00:51:39How about this?
00:51:40I drive your car home for you
00:51:41And then I just walk back here
00:51:43I've had one drink
00:51:44And there's no way I can let you drive
00:51:45Fine
00:51:46But on one condition
00:51:47You get to take me to the quick pick
00:51:49And get me some nachos
00:51:51I was going there anyway
00:51:54Good
00:51:56I don't have any money
00:51:57I want 32 jalapenos
00:51:59One ounce of nacho cheese
00:52:01No more
00:52:01You know what?
00:52:28I will take that shot
00:52:30I don't have any money
00:52:31I don't have any money
00:52:32I don't have any money
00:52:33I don't have any money
00:52:34I don't have any money
00:52:35I don't have any money
00:52:36I don't have any money
00:52:37I don't have any money
00:52:38I don't have any money
00:52:39I don't have any money
00:52:40I don't have any money
00:52:41I don't have any money
00:52:42I don't have any money
00:52:43I don't have any money
00:52:44I don't have any money
00:52:45I don't have any money
00:52:46I don't have any money
00:52:47I don't have any money
00:52:48I don't have any money
00:52:49I don't have any money
00:52:50I don't have any money
00:52:51I don't have any money
00:52:52I don't have any money
00:52:53I don't have any money
00:52:54I don't have any money
00:52:55I don't have any money
00:52:56I don't have any money
00:53:57Do you mind if we sped this up a little bit?
00:54:06I kind of want to get back to the party.
00:54:08Well, now you've gone and distracted me.
00:54:11Added too many jalapenos.
00:54:14Gotta start over.
00:54:15Ladies and gentlemen, men and gentle ladies, in our tie-breaking round, we will test a match
00:54:29of endurance.
00:54:30Peter and I will be lifting these empty kegs above our heads for as long as we can.
00:54:37The first person to break loses.
00:54:41Peter!
00:54:43Are you ready?
00:54:45You're going down.
00:54:46Oh, it's super easy for me.
00:55:04Oh, yes!
00:55:22Eat it, mouse girl.
00:55:24I am the greatest!
00:55:25You guys, you guys, you heard it here first, folks.
00:55:29Peter won.
00:55:31He's, like, way stronger than me.
00:55:34No.
00:55:35Yeah, who knew?
00:55:37I'm going to head home.
00:55:39Can you let Charlie know that she should go ahead and crash here tonight?
00:55:42No problem.
00:55:43Can you scratch my right cheek?
00:55:46Come here.
00:56:02I need to talk to you.
00:56:03Oh, shit.
00:56:05I met someone.
00:56:07That's amazing!
00:56:08Yeah, well, but you guys, you actually have a history with him?
00:56:12Oh, God.
00:56:14Okay, it all started because Raven was really upset about your breakup, and...
00:56:17Raven and I didn't break up.
00:56:19Okay.
00:56:19But he's going to be okay.
00:56:21He just, he needs to lick his wounds.
00:56:24And I really need to lick his face.
00:56:28Jules, I'm happy for you.
00:56:30Really?
00:56:31Yeah!
00:56:31Are you sure?
00:56:32Because I...
00:56:33Go forth and cage that bird.
00:56:35I mean, because, like, girl, like, I'm going to cage it hard, so I just want to make sure
00:56:39that, like, it's cool, like, probably hard.
00:56:41Not, like, prison hard, but like...
00:56:42I really don't need details about it, though.
00:56:44Okay.
00:56:45Please, Lee.
00:56:46Okay, thank you.
00:56:47Oh, my...
00:56:47Oh, yes.
00:56:48Guess what this is.
00:57:12Stop it.
00:57:13Little Levy Dong's junior year is singing an original love song to yours truly.
00:57:20You don't happen to have a dusty, compact display around here, do you?
00:57:28In my car.
00:57:31Let's go.
00:57:34Okay.
00:57:34This is normal.
00:57:44I would do this sober.
00:57:49Not weird.
00:57:50Just a grown woman in a china cabinet.
00:57:53Come on, little dude.
00:57:54Okay.
00:58:02Want more?
00:58:04The answers?
00:58:05Cool.
00:58:06If it doesn't, screw them.
00:58:12Hello?
00:58:12Hi!
00:58:14Luke, it is Kate.
00:58:18Kate, uh, is everything okay?
00:58:21It's, like, one in the morning.
00:58:22Oh, yeah.
00:58:23Uh, I'm actually better than okay, because I just turned 30.
00:58:29It's my 30th birthday.
00:58:32Or it was until, like, an hour ago.
00:58:34Hey, happy birthday.
00:58:36Sorry, it's just, it's late here.
00:58:38Oh, did I wake up, did I wake up the baby?
00:58:40You have a baby!
00:58:42Wow!
00:58:43I have a baby.
00:58:44That is a weird sentence to say.
00:58:47Is it, like, crawling yet?
00:58:49Or teething?
00:58:51They cry, like, so much, I hear.
00:58:53Hey, what's, what's up?
00:58:54Are you okay?
00:58:55That's...
00:58:56Oh, um, you know, I'm sorry.
00:58:58I just wanted, I wanted to ask you one question.
00:58:59Yeah, okay.
00:59:00Just, like, one super quick question.
00:59:02Is that okay?
00:59:03Uh, okay, yeah.
00:59:04What's up?
00:59:04My question is, why wasn't it me?
00:59:09What?
00:59:10Like, all right, we dated for four years,
00:59:14and then we break up, and it's like, boom!
00:59:17Now you're married with a kid,
00:59:19and I'm just wondering, you know,
00:59:21why I wasn't that person.
00:59:25Uh, well, if you remember, Kate,
00:59:27you broke up with me.
00:59:29Yeah, no, I know, I know.
00:59:31Um, I was just wondering...
00:59:33And I don't know if things have changed
00:59:35in the last couple of years,
00:59:36but when we were together,
00:59:37you weren't exactly into marriage so much.
00:59:40That was...
00:59:40Why do you say that?
00:59:42Uh, okay, well,
00:59:44the night at the restaurant
00:59:45when I was gonna propose to you,
00:59:46you ran out like crazy
00:59:47when I was reaching for my wallet.
00:59:51I know, I thought you were reaching for a ring.
00:59:53I know, you did.
00:59:55And that's why I didn't...
00:59:56That's why I never asked you.
00:59:57Well, that and because you broke up with me,
01:00:00like, a week later.
01:00:01Yeah, I know.
01:00:01I mean, I know that.
01:00:03I just, uh...
01:00:04I didn't know that you knew that.
01:00:06But it's fine, right?
01:00:07Everything worked out like it was supposed to.
01:00:12I know, we haven't...
01:00:12We haven't talked in a while.
01:00:13Are you okay?
01:00:14Yeah, of course.
01:00:16Of course.
01:00:17And, uh...
01:00:18Hey, uh...
01:00:20I want you to know that I'm really happy for you.
01:00:22I just...
01:00:23I need you to know that.
01:00:24I really, really am happy for you.
01:00:26Thanks, Kim.
01:00:27Stay out of trouble.
01:00:37Was that my voicemail?
01:00:38Oh, my God.
01:00:39I figured.
01:00:39There's something I gotta tell you, which is...
01:00:41Oh, jeez.
01:00:42She's taking this really hard.
01:00:44She must be Craven the Raven.
01:00:46Oh, my God.
01:00:47Did I just say that my love is deeper than the ocean?
01:00:53Smoother than lotion.
01:00:55That's a beautiful laugh.
01:00:58I can't tell you how excited I was when I saw that invitation in my inbox.
01:01:03Yeah, it's really nice to see everyone.
01:01:05Sort of validated the whole divorce of the drama.
01:01:09Excuse me?
01:01:10What?
01:01:10Oh, Amy, yeah.
01:01:12I've always known that we're supposed to be together.
01:01:15Even when I was married.
01:01:19We're soulmates.
01:01:22You're the Sandy to my Danny.
01:01:25That was a high school play.
01:01:28I just can't believe it's happening now, you know?
01:01:30She was so pissed when I got the tattoo.
01:01:33Tattoo?
01:01:34Oh.
01:01:37Oh, wow, that's me.
01:01:39Yeah.
01:01:40That's your first headshot.
01:01:41That's my first headshot.
01:01:42First headshot, yeah.
01:01:44Yeah, it is.
01:01:46It's like you're resting your head on my chest.
01:01:54Okay.
01:01:56It's there.
01:01:58You know what?
01:01:59Ben, I'm actually going to go check on the party,
01:02:01which is just about over, so you should probably go.
01:02:05We're meant to be.
01:02:06Or not to be.
01:02:12Uh-oh.
01:02:14That is the question.
01:02:15Oh, no.
01:02:16Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
01:02:22or to take arms against a sea of turtles and by opposing end them.
01:02:26Okay, I'm going to go, Ben.
01:02:27Drive safe.
01:02:27To sleep.
01:02:33To sleep.
01:02:35Aye, there's the rub.
01:02:37For in that sleep of death, what dream?
01:02:38So, hey, how are you holding up?
01:02:44Party time.
01:02:46Thanks for doing this, dude.
01:02:48I mean, like, this is really awesome.
01:02:50Yeah, not always a total screw up.
01:02:52Wow.
01:02:53You, like, really sucked down there, didn't you?
01:02:56Excuse me.
01:02:57I'm a grown woman.
01:02:58I'm not here to take insults from, like, a 17-year-old high schooler.
01:03:01Okay, first of all, I'm 19 and a half.
01:03:03And second of all, good for you.
01:03:05I thought you were, like, some loser freshman I didn't know.
01:03:08Anyways, have you seen that brunette hot girl you were hanging out with?
01:03:10She was super hot.
01:03:12I think you mean my girlfriend?
01:03:14Wait, that's your girlfriend?
01:03:16Yeah.
01:03:16Oh, wow.
01:03:17Because if I had one hour with her, no, no, not even.
01:03:20If I had just, like, ten minutes with her, I'd be like, oh, girl, you're so naughty.
01:03:23And I'd be like, oh, what's up, mommy?
01:03:25And then I'd be like, mm, mommy, mm, give it to me, give it to me.
01:03:30Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a falafel.
01:03:33What is going on?
01:03:35Oh, you're so dead, dude.
01:03:37Oh, my God, I just hit a kid.
01:03:41Uh, he's 19 and a half, remember?
01:03:43I just knocked out a teenager.
01:03:45Okay, that's it, that's it.
01:03:47Cut the music, cut the music.
01:03:48I need all of the children to leave this party.
01:03:51Do you hear me?
01:03:52If you're in high school and are too young to know who Vanilla Ice is,
01:03:55you have 30 seconds to get out of this party.
01:04:04My carpet, who did this?
01:04:06This is Ashley Driscoll's name written all over it.
01:04:08I don't think we can just assume that Ashley did it.
01:04:11It says so right here on the koozie.
01:04:13You know what?
01:04:15Ashley Driscoll can eat shit.
01:04:18Homeless or hipster?
01:04:43What?
01:04:45I said homeless or hipster.
01:04:51Oh, yeah, totally hipster.
01:04:53I think he's in that band of guidance counselors.
01:04:55Hmm.
01:05:03You know, you guys, I'm so glad we splurged on DuPly.
01:05:23I am having the best time while simultaneously feeling pretty bad about being so wasteful.
01:05:28This is so cathartic.
01:05:30Yeah.
01:05:31We're queens of the night!
01:05:32Screw you, Ashley Driscoll!
01:05:34I hate my husband!
01:05:38Whoa, dude.
01:05:39That's a little dramatic, Evie.
01:05:41Even for you.
01:05:42It's true.
01:05:43It's true.
01:05:45I hate him.
01:05:47I hate his clothes.
01:05:49I hate his narcissism.
01:05:51I hate his family.
01:05:53Oh, my God.
01:05:54His family.
01:05:56I don't want to go cross-country skiing.
01:05:59What I do want is a divorce.
01:06:03Really?
01:06:09Yeah.
01:06:10Yes!
01:06:13Well, thank God, because we think he sucks.
01:06:15Yeah, it's like the only thing we talk about behind your back.
01:06:18Really?
01:06:19He's the worst!
01:06:20Oh, my God!
01:06:22Wait, you guys.
01:06:23As long as we're putting it out there, I got something I need to say, too.
01:06:27Okay.
01:06:32I'm gay.
01:06:33I hate you.
01:06:35No word!
01:06:36Why?
01:06:37You guys just always guest.
01:06:39Come in.
01:06:42It's kind of hard making it up those stairs with my eyes closed, obviously.
01:06:46Can I open them?
01:06:48Open them, sad clown.
01:06:57Holy crap.
01:06:58I want to bathe you.
01:07:01You're the strangest woman I've ever met.
01:07:03I think I love you.
01:07:07Is that okay?
01:07:09Uh-huh.
01:07:09Holy crap.
01:07:11Okay.
01:07:12Let me just...
01:07:13God dang it.
01:07:13The thing is, these boots are very difficult to take off.
01:07:17The goth lifestyle is worth it, but the fashion is definitely time-consuming.
01:07:20Oh, crap.
01:07:21Oh, crap.
01:07:22Come on.
01:07:23Come on.
01:07:25Oh, God.
01:07:26Snow boot.
01:07:27Jesus Christ.
01:07:29Oh.
01:07:29God damn it.
01:07:30It's just like, the forest doesn't work.
01:07:32Isn't it jokes, people?
01:07:34I'll leave it on.
01:07:35I'll leave it on.
01:07:36Stay right there, you sweet vixen.
01:07:38Just drop it off.
01:07:40God damn it.
01:07:41Come on.
01:07:42Get it off.
01:07:44Come on.
01:07:45Jesus.
01:07:46Yeah.
01:07:47Oh, God.
01:07:48Oh, yeah.
01:07:49Oh, wait a minute.
01:07:50Didn't take the choker into account.
01:07:52Denise is not going to be pleased if this gets scratched.
01:07:55Who's Denise?
01:07:56Denise works at Hot Topic in the mall.
01:07:59Next to the, uh, you know, Denise?
01:08:01Hey, Kate.
01:08:02Are you ready for your birthday baby dance?
01:08:05It's birthday baby dance.
01:08:07The baby, it is you.
01:08:08Please, do not do that.
01:08:10I'm going to pee my pants.
01:08:10I have to pee so bad.
01:08:11Just do it.
01:08:13What, just be in the yard?
01:08:14Yeah, dude.
01:08:15Why not?
01:08:16Okay.
01:08:17Yeah.
01:08:18I'm just going to go.
01:08:19Is, uh, your house the white one with the columns?
01:08:26Mm-hmm.
01:08:27With the round hedges and the maple trees?
01:08:30Mm-hmm.
01:08:31That are currently covered in toilet paper?
01:08:33Mm-hmm.
01:08:34What the what?
01:08:35I'm doing it.
01:08:36Wow.
01:08:37I'm peeing.
01:08:39And I am really hydrated.
01:08:40Good for me.
01:08:46Hi.
01:08:48Hey!
01:08:49You little bitches.
01:08:50Get yourself.
01:08:53Oh, my God.
01:08:54It's Turtle Head and Thea Turd.
01:08:57Okay, you can't talk to them like that, Ashley.
01:08:59Oh, I'm sorry.
01:09:01Who's going to stop me?
01:09:02Me.
01:09:06Kate.
01:09:10Brace face.
01:09:14Brace face?
01:09:16So, what is up, ladies?
01:09:18Oh, is this some sad little revenge plan that I ruined?
01:09:22Oh, you must feel like such a...
01:09:23Oh, no.
01:09:26Oh, my God.
01:09:26She just ate shit.
01:09:28Is she dead?
01:09:29We got to hide the body.
01:09:30Goodbye, bitch girl.
01:09:42Oh, that is bad.
01:09:47That is really bad.
01:09:48Is it bad?
01:09:49Oh, yep.
01:09:50Your left lateral incisor is completely cracked.
01:09:53Is that bad?
01:09:54Well, it's irreparable damage, which means immediate tooth extraction.
01:09:57What does that mean?
01:09:59It means this sucker's coming out right now.
01:10:01She said that she needs to pull your tooth out.
01:10:05Do you understand?
01:10:07Yes, Thea Turd.
01:10:08I'm not having a stroke.
01:10:10Okay, we'll talk about the nickname later.
01:10:11Okay, um, I need some gauze.
01:10:13Or, like, grab some toilet paper.
01:10:15And I need some pliers.
01:10:16Oh, uh, there might be a toolkit in the trunk.
01:10:19You know, you're a toolkit in the trunk, Dan.
01:10:22What?
01:10:23Actually, yes, please.
01:10:23Can you go look?
01:10:24That'd be great.
01:10:25Okay.
01:10:26Hurry.
01:10:26And I need the vodka.
01:10:27Why?
01:10:28Because I need the vodka.
01:10:29Okay.
01:10:29Please.
01:10:31Oh, awesome.
01:10:34Yes.
01:10:35Yes.
01:10:35I already grabbed my keys so much.
01:10:38Right now.
01:10:39Let's do this.
01:10:40Wait, do you know what you're doing?
01:10:42I sure hope so.
01:10:44Oh!
01:10:44Oh!
01:10:45Oh!
01:10:45Oh!
01:10:47Oh!
01:10:49I did it!
01:10:51I did it!
01:10:52I did it!
01:10:54Whoa!
01:10:58I didn't do it!
01:10:59Freeze!
01:11:00Step away from the Asian girl.
01:11:03Dispatch, I think we have a hate crime in progress.
01:11:06My sister, are you okay?
01:11:17Thanks so much for the ride.
01:11:20No problem.
01:11:21Thanks so much for kicking my ass in chess.
01:11:24You're really good.
01:11:25You're right.
01:11:30Can I ask you a question?
01:11:34Yeah.
01:11:35I hope you don't take it the wrong way, but why do you go out with Derek?
01:11:43Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.
01:11:44No!
01:11:46No, I ask myself that question all the time.
01:11:53Um, I don't know.
01:11:57He's the quarterback.
01:11:59I'm the cheerleader.
01:12:00It's what nature wants.
01:12:07But I get what you're saying.
01:12:08I shouldn't be dating someone that I don't really connect with.
01:12:11He's probably wondering where you are.
01:12:25I don't know if you want to go in and give him a call or something.
01:12:29Maybe that would...
01:12:30No.
01:12:31I love this song.
01:12:36Do you guys have anyone I can call for you?
01:12:39Uh, lawyer?
01:12:40Anything?
01:12:40Okay, don't pretend to be a nice guy, Dan.
01:12:43Yeah, we had a connection.
01:12:44And yeah, it's probably the liquor talking that's making me say this, but we probably could have been something.
01:12:48And you blew it!
01:12:49You blew it!
01:12:50Yeah, you blew it!
01:12:52Hey!
01:12:53You totally blew it.
01:13:00Oh, um, hey, you work for Charlie, right?
01:13:04Where can I find her girlfriend?
01:13:05Uh, Claire left.
01:13:06What?
01:13:07Yeah, she wasn't too stoked about Charlie hulking out back there, so she left.
01:13:12She told me to let Charlie know, but I haven't seen her.
01:13:15Uh, that's because she got arrested.
01:13:17Oh, God!
01:13:22Oh, hey, Dan.
01:13:23Hey, how's the retainer?
01:13:24It's good.
01:13:25It's really tight.
01:13:27Uh, I was just wondering if you know where, uh, Charlie's girlfriend, Claire, is.
01:13:30No, no, no.
01:13:31Uh, what about Evie?
01:13:33Does she have a boyfriend I could call?
01:13:34She doesn't have a boyfriend.
01:13:35She's married.
01:13:36Really?
01:13:37Yeah, yeah.
01:13:37Her husband is, like, some lawyer dude named Todd.
01:13:47I am going to get this dipped in gold and put it on a chain.
01:13:51You know, for a minute there, I really thought you were going to go in and get a second one.
01:13:54Oh, it would have made amazing earrings.
01:13:56Oh, I should have done it.
01:13:58Yeah.
01:13:58But you didn't, you finally, you pulled a tooth.
01:14:01Now you can be, like, a full orthodontist.
01:14:04Yeah, you're going to go back to school?
01:14:06You know what?
01:14:08No.
01:14:10Really?
01:14:10I mean, yeah, I like my job.
01:14:14It's low pressure, and I have fun with jewels, and I like it.
01:14:19I'm not scared to do more.
01:14:21I just like it.
01:14:23You know what else?
01:14:24I, I like my organized fun.
01:14:27Like, I don't need to go out to have a good time.
01:14:30You know what I think I do?
01:14:31I put all this pressure on myself because I just assume that other people expect me to be more or to want more.
01:14:38Because I'm, like, an assistant who's a homebody.
01:14:40But I love it.
01:14:42Amen.
01:14:43Get it.
01:14:44I want to be the weird aunt.
01:14:46I do.
01:14:47Oh, this guy's serious.
01:14:50Yeah, and speaking of serious, sorry, are you done with your speech?
01:14:53Yeah, I am.
01:14:55Unnecessary.
01:14:56Got it.
01:14:57Speaking of serious, I'm going to be in serious trouble with Claire if we end up spending the night here.
01:15:01No, you won't.
01:15:02Because Claire is cool.
01:15:04Yeah, she is cool.
01:15:06She's a cool fiancé.
01:15:08What?
01:15:11Seriously?
01:15:12Yeah.
01:15:12Oh, my God!
01:15:13What?
01:15:14That's amazing!
01:15:15Wait, why didn't you tell us?
01:15:17I don't know, because you guys were, like, having nervous breakdowns or whatever.
01:15:20Congratulations.
01:15:21Yeah, thank you.
01:15:22But I really need you guys to act surprised when Claire and I tell you together.
01:15:25I'm an actress.
01:15:27Okay.
01:15:27Got it.
01:15:28Also, I can throw you an engagement party.
01:15:30Oh, my God.
01:15:31No, thank you.
01:15:32Oh, my God.
01:15:33Mm-hmm.
01:16:35We must have fallen asleep when we were talking.
01:16:38Yeah, I get, yeah.
01:16:41That was really fun.
01:16:43It was.
01:16:44Last night was really fun.
01:16:53It's fine.
01:16:54I'm, uh, I'm going to talk to him.
01:16:57It's fine.
01:16:58Hey, Kinsey, if we don't talk again at school, or ever again for that matter, I just want
01:17:04to let you know that I really like you.
01:17:05And the reason I invited you is because...
01:17:06Oliver.
01:17:06Oliver.
01:17:07Yeah?
01:17:11I'm going to handle this.
01:17:14But, uh, yeah, just message me later.
01:17:17Okay.
01:17:18Okay?
01:17:19All right.
01:17:19Okay.
01:17:19Wake up, ladies.
01:17:31I got good news and I got bad news.
01:17:33We will take the good news, please.
01:17:35I didn't ask for your preference.
01:17:37The bad news is you're probably going to get community service for trespassing.
01:17:41That's not that bad.
01:17:42And public urination.
01:17:44The good news is your lawyer's here and he's going to get you out of here.
01:17:48Our lawyer?
01:17:48Todd at Jones.
01:17:53Let's do this.
01:18:05Hi, Todd.
01:18:06Mm-mm.
01:18:06Okay.
01:18:12Evie, what did you do?
01:18:14I'm fine, Todd.
01:18:16Thank you for asking.
01:18:17Evie, why aren't you in bail?
01:18:19Well, some guy named Dan calls me, tells me that you've been arrested, so I take the
01:18:24first flight back.
01:18:26I...
01:18:27I can't believe this.
01:18:29Do you have any idea how bad this makes me look?
01:18:33And that's what you're concerned about?
01:18:36Yes, Evie.
01:18:37Well, I'm a lawyer, so I can't be bailing people out of jail.
01:18:41I spent the night in the drunk tank.
01:18:44I don't ask for a lot.
01:18:45I let you do your little work stuff.
01:18:49I let you hang out with those two idiots.
01:18:53But at the end of the day, I'm the one who takes care of you.
01:18:59What if, uh, I don't need someone to take care of me?
01:19:02What if I can take care of myself?
01:19:14Whoa!
01:19:14Oh, God.
01:19:15You know, prison is not comfortable.
01:19:17Hi!
01:19:18She gave me a word of that.
01:19:21My girlfriend's a criminal!
01:19:25I'm gonna give you a minute.
01:19:26I roll through a song as we're running along into the night.
01:19:40I am so sorry about last night.
01:19:42You're a goddamn maniac.
01:19:43True.
01:19:45But for good reason.
01:19:49Peter Finch, athletic director at Lincoln High School?
01:19:51I told Peter that if I made him look like a total badass at the party last night,
01:19:55that he'd have to give me the entire uniform account of Lincoln High.
01:19:58Huh?
01:19:59It's not bad.
01:20:00You stink real bad.
01:20:03I was in prison.
01:20:04I don't know.
01:20:05I learned all sorts of shit.
01:20:06Oh.
01:20:06Hi.
01:20:07Hey there.
01:20:10So, just so you know, I drove Ashley home so she wouldn't drive drunk.
01:20:14Yeah, no, you do not have to explain yourself.
01:20:16I got crazy last night.
01:20:19A little crazy is when a bachelorette party hires a stripper.
01:20:22Oh.
01:20:22You ripped a tooth out of a woman's jaw.
01:20:25Yeah, I did that.
01:20:26Yeah, you did.
01:20:27Didn't know I was such a badass.
01:20:28Uh, no, I did not know that.
01:20:32Can I give you a ride?
01:20:34Uh, actually, do you want to grab some breakfast?
01:20:39Are you asking me on a date?
01:20:41Are you scared?
01:20:44Eva, can you just relax?
01:20:46No.
01:20:46Are you seriously going to do this?
01:20:48Yes.
01:20:48Hey, guys, can I grab a ride?
01:20:50All right, well, sounds good, then.
01:20:52You just, you take a few nights to cool off.
01:20:54I'll stay with my parents.
01:20:56Wait.
01:20:57Where are your parents?
01:20:58I dropped them off on my way here.
01:21:07Oh, are you guys the butlers?
01:21:12Oh, we will have two full English breakfasts, please, and I'll take my bacon nice and crispy.
01:21:17And did you want to add her?
01:21:18Scotch.
01:21:18It's just a scotch for her.
01:21:23Dear 30-year-old Kate, when this reaches you on your birthday, you'll have the greatest
01:21:29guy in the world.
01:21:31He'll be handsome and sweet and funny.
01:21:34How's this angria?
01:21:35It's nice.
01:21:36Yeah?
01:21:37It's so strong.
01:21:38You'll be a super successful orthodontist with your own practice.
01:21:42You go, girl.
01:21:43I got it.
01:21:44It's in gold.
01:21:45Oh, my God.
01:21:46I know.
01:21:47It looks awesome, right?
01:21:48Yeah.
01:21:48Of course, there's going to be a little one to take care of, or at least a bun in the oven.
01:21:52Hi.
01:21:53Hi.
01:21:53Hi.
01:21:5430-year-old self, I have no doubt that you'll have the most incredible life.
01:22:00Kate.
01:22:00I'll see you there.
01:22:01Kate.
01:22:01Hi.
01:22:02Did you hear what we said?
01:22:03What?
01:22:05We're engaged.
01:22:09Oh, my God.
01:22:11So unexpected.
01:22:13Yeah.
01:22:14Wow.
01:22:15Big news.
01:22:16You told them.
01:22:17I swear to God I didn't.
01:22:20Except for that one time in jail.
01:22:21Yeah.
01:22:22I promise you, it's news to me.
01:22:23Can I be a bridesmaid?
01:22:25You already are.
01:22:26For which one?
01:22:28Oh.
01:22:28Well, congratulations.
01:22:30Thanks.
01:22:30Cheers.
01:22:31Cheers.
01:22:31To love lasting forever.
01:22:33Sorry.
01:22:3430-year-old self, I have no doubt that you'll have the most incredible life.
01:22:39I'll see you there.
01:22:40I'll see you there.
01:23:01We'll see you there.
01:23:01We'll see you there.
01:23:22Bye.
01:23:22Yes.
01:23:24We'll die, but we'll leave our lives with us We'll die, but we'll never die alone
01:23:54We'll die, but we'll die
01:24:24We'll die, but we'll die
01:24:54We'll die, but we'll die
01:25:24We'll die, but we'll die
01:25:54Shaking hands
01:25:56Your fate has turned your will
01:26:01To last and last
01:26:03We've got our kids now
01:26:15We've got our kids now
01:26:19We've got our kids now
01:26:21We've got our kids now
01:26:27And we're sitting out here
01:26:28We've got our kids now
01:26:30We've got our kids now
01:26:32We've got our kids now
01:26:34We've got our kids now
01:26:36We've got our kids now
01:26:38We're not running now
01:26:39P.S. Ashley Driscoll can eat shit.
01:26:51We've got our kids now
01:27:05We've got our kids now
Recommended
1:47:24
|
Up next
1:39:02
1:35:56
1:55:50
1:30:23
1:44:01
1:26:44
1:46:47
1:53:17
2:14:54
1:28:02
1:38:33
1:48:43
14:20
11:31
1:24:31
2:08:47
1:36:26
1:24:52
13:46
1:38:24
1:22:17
29:45
Be the first to comment