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  • 7 weeks ago
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00:00Portrait of a Man at Work
00:20The only work he's ever done
00:22The only work he knows
00:24His name is Henry Francis Valentine
00:26But he calls himself Rocky
00:28Because that's the way his life has been
00:30Rocky and perilous and uphill
00:32At a dead run all the way
00:34He's tired now
00:35Tired of running or wanting
00:38Of waiting for the breaks that come to others
00:40But never to him
00:41Never to Rocky Valentine
00:58Stop! Stop or I'll shoot!
01:18At this time you lousy screw
01:20A scared, angry little man
01:33He thinks it's all over now, but he's wrong
01:36For Rocky Valentine
01:37It's just the beginning
01:39Mr. Valentine
01:56Mr. Valentine
01:59Who are you?
02:17My name is Pip
02:18Can I help you?
02:21How do you know my name?
02:23It's my job to know everything about you
02:25You a cop?
02:29No, no, no
02:30I'm your guide, as it were
02:32Guide
02:37I need like a hole in the head
02:41What happened?
02:50You had a slight action
02:51Oh, but don't worry
02:53You'll be as fit as a new fiddle soon
02:54Now, I'm sure you'd like to change out of those rumpled clothes, eh?
02:58Mr. Valentine?
02:58All right, hold it a minute
02:59I want to know how you know my name
03:03But I've already told you
03:05Told me nothing
03:06Let me clue you, fatso
03:09I don't like games
03:11Oh, but that isn't true, Mr. Valentine
03:13Why, why, you like roulette, blackjack, poker, craps
03:17And between the ages of seven and ten
03:19You were quite fond of Mumble the Peg
03:21What are you after, anyway?
03:29Only one thing, Mr. Valentine
03:31Your comfort
03:32My job is to see to it that you get what you want
03:34Whatever it may be
03:36Yeah?
03:37In exchange for what?
03:39Nothing at all, Mr. Valentine
03:40It's absolutely free
03:42Don't put me on, fatso
03:44Nothing's free, nothing
03:46Anything I ever got in this lousy world
03:48I had to drag out of it
03:50So don't put me on
03:51Now, what's the pitch?
03:54You want me to do a job for you, right?
03:56I'm afraid you don't understand
03:58Well, all right, let's see
04:00All right, give me your wallet, crack
04:01Now, come on, come on
04:02But I don't have a wallet
04:04Come on, Santa Claus
04:05No, no, honestly
04:06Wait, wait, wait, Mr. Valentine
04:07Really, I
04:08It isn't a wallet you want, is it, hmm?
04:10No, no
04:11It's money
04:12Three minutes
04:18Five hundred
04:19Seven hundred bucks
04:22Will that be enough for now, sir?
04:25Got more?
04:26Oh, give me yes, as much as you want
04:28Now
04:28Shall we?
04:32Hey, fast
04:32I don't try anything funny
04:41You, uh, like it?
04:57Yeah
04:58Yeah, some pad, all right
05:01Who's it belong to?
05:03Some phony politician?
05:05Why, it belongs to you, Mr. Valentine
05:07Mm-hmm
05:09Well, that is, if, uh, if you approve
05:13Yeah, I approve
05:18Good, well, of course, we can make any changes you wish
05:21Well, you see, I wasn't too sure about the, uh, high fire right over there, but
05:25You mean, you know, all this gets thrown into the deal?
05:33No, it's already in the deal, as you call it, Mr. Valentine
05:36Look here
05:38You see?
05:48Ah
05:48That is the master bedroom
05:59After you
06:04There
06:09Bathroom's in there
06:23I'm sure you'd like a change of clothing and freshen up a bit, hmm?
06:26Yeah
06:27Yeah, sure
06:29Well, first of all, what's the pitch?
06:35I'm on the pitch, the catch, the gimmick
06:37What do I got to do for all this?
06:38Nothing, I can't tell you more than I have, honestly
06:40I get it, you're just a goon, huh?
06:42You work for somebody else, right?
06:43In a way, yes
06:45All right, when do I meet him?
06:47Who?
06:47The big boy, your boss
06:48Oh, I really couldn't say
06:50All right, goon
06:52I can wait
06:54Any, uh, particular color or style, sir?
07:17No, you figure
07:17Oh, I could hardly presume to do that
07:20However, bearing in mind that you favor a nice check
07:23I thought perhaps
07:24That'll do
07:29Well, now we have quite a wide selection of ties here
07:33And I believe that, uh, yellow is your favorite color
07:36Shit
07:38What's the matter with you?
07:41You got no taste?
07:46Now that's a tie, see?
07:50Hey
07:50Huh?
07:53Ha ha, it fits
07:54Of course
07:55Yes, uh, very, uh, impressive, sir
07:59Yeah, well, I'll say this
08:01Your guy knows clothes
08:03Mr. Valentine?
08:12Where'd that come from?
08:13Well, I thought you might be a little hungry
08:15So I just ordered up something for you
08:16You eat it
08:34Oh, but I don't eat
08:36I haven't eaten in
08:37Oh, it must be two or three centuries
08:39Anything wrong with it?
08:42No
08:42Then eat it
08:43I can't
08:45I've forgotten how
08:46I get it
08:47Give a guy some new clothes
08:49And a bath
08:50And then poison him, huh?
08:51Pretty smart
08:51Pretty smart, fatso
08:52But not smart enough
08:54Oh, bulletproof vest, huh?
09:00Well, let's see how your head holds up
09:02Mr. Valentine, please
09:03I couldn't have missed
09:11It's not at this range
09:13Maybe
09:14Where'd this come from?
09:41This wasn't here before
09:42What's going on here?
09:47Where am I?
09:49Mr. Valentine
09:50Do you remember when we met earlier today?
09:54I told you I was, in a sense, your guide
09:56And you said you needed a guide like a hole in the head
09:58Yeah?
09:59Well, as a matter of strict fact
10:01You had a hole in the head only a short time before
10:03A bullet hole
10:04Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right
10:07The cops, the...
10:10Then I must
10:12I must be dead
10:14Mm-hmm
10:16Well
10:18If I'm dead
10:20Then
10:21Then all of this
10:23The joint
10:24The clothes
10:25The booze
10:26Then I must be in heaven
10:29Yeah, that's it
10:31That's it
10:32I'm in heaven
10:32Right?
10:33And you're my guardian angel
10:34Something like that?
10:35Oh, something like that, yes
10:37Mr. Valentine
10:37Anything I want, eh?
10:39Anything, anything
10:40Yeah, big talk, fatso
10:41Big talk
10:42I want to see an election now
10:43Right now I want
10:45A million bucks
10:46In 5G notes
10:48And, uh
10:49And a chick that won't quit
10:51I mean, uh
10:52I mean
10:52It's like stacked
10:54Like
10:54Like
10:55Like
10:55Like beautiful
10:57Huh?
11:01Well
11:02Well, as for the million
11:04Look in that drawer
11:05Mm-hmm
11:08A million
11:11A million bucks
11:14Hey, but what about
11:17Uh
11:18Huh?
11:34Now I know I'm in heaven
11:36Will there be anything else, sir?
11:38Yeah, there will be, Fats
11:39There will be
11:40Just stick around
11:41Hiya, doll
11:43Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo
11:49Hiya, ho-hoo-hoo
11:56Hiya, ho-hoo-hoo
11:58Hiya, hiya, hiya
12:03Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen
12:08Place your bets
12:09No more bets, please
12:1233 blast
12:14Hey, how about that?
12:18I win again
12:18Hey, Fats
12:19Come here
12:19Come here
12:20Put your money on the table, Fats
12:21Right there
12:22And I'm a 14 red
12:23Rocky is hot tonight
12:25Am I right, y'all?
12:26I'm afraid I don't have any money, sir
12:28You don't have any money?
12:31Gee, what do they pay you?
12:32In halos or something?
12:33Come on
12:33Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen
12:35Place your bets
12:36No more bets, ladies and gentlemen
12:40No more bets
12:4114 reds
12:47Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo
12:48Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo
12:50Mwah
12:50Mwah
12:51Mwah
12:52Mwah
12:52Mwah
12:53What makes what?
12:54What?
12:54$40,000 in an hour
12:56How about it?
12:58Is Rocky hot or is Rocky hot?
13:00No, Rocky's hot
13:01Go trade this in for the old negociates, baby
13:03And I tell you I'm going to buy and sell this joint
13:06Yeah, go get it
13:07Hey, hey, hey, baby
13:09It's 40 grand in there and I count real good, you know what I mean?
13:13All right
13:14I got this table spooked
13:17Let's go see what's shaking with the cubes, huh?
13:20Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen
13:22Here, baby, you'll get me some juice
13:25Hey, look at it, look at it
13:44There must be 600 bucks there, huh?
13:46How about the bets?
13:48Here you are, sweetheart
13:48Go buy yourself a dress for free
13:50Present for Rocky, huh?
13:55Get your corset?
13:55Yeah, it's a pink converter
13:57Be careful of it, will you, kid?
13:58Yes, sir
13:59Something bothering you, Mr. Valentine?
14:09Yeah, him
14:09Lousy screw
14:11Think he's king of the hill
14:13Just because he got a couple of inches on me
14:14Oh, dear, that was indiscreet of me
14:17Is that it?
14:20Yeah
14:20Hey, screw
14:23Come here
14:24You got your hand, crooked trooper
14:27Ready, sir
14:33All right
14:34Come on, get in, girls
14:36All right
14:38There you are, kid
14:44Keep the change
14:46All right, now
14:47Let's open this baby up
14:49And see what she can do
14:50All right, girls
14:58Here we go
14:58Here we go
14:59Into the cracker box
15:00One
15:01Two
15:01Three
15:02It's magic time
15:03Hey, Fats
15:05I want you to get rid of that heap
15:07I've been driving
15:08Well, it certainly goes fast enough
15:09Is something wrong?
15:10Yeah, the ashtrays are full
15:11Hey, girls
15:14Would you wait in here for a minute?
15:16I want to talk to Fats for a minute, all right?
15:18In we go
15:20Hey, Fats
15:23How about tomorrow
15:24We look up some of my old buddies, huh?
15:25Like Matt Gorman
15:26Or Fink Mitchell
15:27Silky Armstrong, huh?
15:29What's the matter?
15:29They didn't make it?
15:30Oh, it's not that, Mr. Valentine
15:31It's, uh
15:32Well, it's rather difficult to explain, really
15:34You see, all of this
15:35It's, uh
15:35Well, it's your own private domain
15:37It was made, uh
15:38Well, especially for you alone
15:40Oh
15:41Well, uh
15:41What about them?
15:42You mean, uh
15:43They're props
15:44Like in a movie?
15:45In a sense, yes
15:46Everything here is
15:46Except, of course, you and me
15:48Look, sit down for a minute, Fats
15:51I want to ask you something
15:52It's been kind of bugging me anyway
15:54I mean
15:55How come they let me in here, huh?
15:57I thought this was only for, like, schoolteachers
15:59And like that
16:00Oh, we have some schoolteachers here
16:01Hmm
16:02Well, there must have been something real good
16:04I'd done sometimes
16:05Something that, uh
16:06That made up for everything else, huh?
16:08Yeah, that's it
16:09But, uh
16:11But what?
16:13See, when did I ever do anything good?
16:18Uh, well, listen
16:18How do I find out about this, huh?
16:20Well, uh
16:21We have a hall of records here
16:22Would you like me to take you there?
16:23Well, is it open at this hour?
16:25I mean, it's almost light
16:26Oh, it's always open
16:27Well, all right
16:28Let's go
16:29Ha, ha, ha
16:30Hey, uh
16:31Dolls
16:31Don't go away
16:32Will you?
16:32I'll be right back
16:33I just want to get something
16:34Cleaned up with Fats
16:35Well, come on
16:40Let's go
16:41Let's go
17:11Henry Francis Valentine
17:21Born 1923, Brooklyn, New York
17:26Age of six, slaughtered small dog
17:29Well, why not? He bit me
17:31Age of seven, stole 14 toys from dime store
17:36Age of eight, organized street gang, the Angels
17:41How about that, huh? That's who we call ourselves, the Angels
17:45There's a great little bunch
17:47Age of nine, broke in the bicycle store
17:51What is this, anyway?
17:56You reckon?
17:58Well, you don't want to give me some mistake, do you?
18:01Not likely
18:02I can't figure it
18:04But if it don't bother him, I ain't gonna let it bother me, you know what I mean?
18:08What are you gonna do now, Mr. Valentine?
18:09Uh, yeah, I don't know
18:13Pull around with the dolls, do some more craps, maybe
18:17I don't know
18:20Well, if you need me for anything, Mr. Valentine
18:22Just dial P.I.P.
18:25Yeah
18:26Thirteen black, ladies and gentlemen
18:41Thirteen black
18:43What about your chips, sir?
18:47Nail them to me
18:48What do you got?
19:09Straight flush
19:10Royal flush
19:12You win again, Mr. Valentine
19:14Yeah, I know
19:16That's all I ever do in this nutty joint
19:18Is win, win, win
19:20Is there anything else I can do for you?
19:23Yeah, get out of here, will you?
19:28I'm sick of looking at you
19:29Come on, out, out
19:30You too
19:30Come on
19:31Out, out, out
19:31Let's go
19:32Come on, come on
19:33Come on, get out of here
19:34Come on, get out of here
19:36Come on, come on
19:38Come on
19:39Keep moving
19:40Step it up
19:40Come on, come on
19:41Out, out, out
19:42Dumb broads
19:43Who needs them?
19:45Hey
20:10Hey
20:11Hey
20:41Yes, Mr. Valentine, what can I do for you?
20:43Will you stop creeping around?
20:45Anything you say, sir.
20:46Anything I say, anything I say, knock it off, will you?
20:50Is something wrong?
20:51No, no, nothing's wrong. Everything is just peachy.
20:54Look, I've been in this dump for a month and I can't stand it anymore.
20:57But I don't understand.
20:59All right, I'll spell it out for you, fats. I'm bored, bored.
21:03I mean, there's no excitement around here, no kicks.
21:06Yeah, but the gambling, I thought you enjoyed that.
21:08I do. But when you win every time, that ain't gambling, that's charity.
21:14Well, I could arrange for you to lose occasion if you'd like. Would that help?
21:17It might.
21:19No, no, it's no good. It ain't the same. I would know.
21:22Ah, perhaps you missed your old vocation, is that it?
21:27Now you're getting it.
21:28Well, there's a nice bank at the corner that you could rob, or would you prefer a jewelry store?
21:33No, no, a bank's okay.
21:34Well, fine, fine.
21:35Now, as to the getaway car, well, we have quite a large variety to choose from.
21:39Something inconspicuous, I imagine.
21:41Wait a minute.
21:42Is there a chance that I could get caught?
21:45Well, of course, if that's what you'd like.
21:47Let me just make a note of it.
21:48Come on, sit down with that. Sit down.
21:50Now, look.
21:52I don't know how to explain this, but it just ain't the same thing.
21:57I mean, what's the kick knocking off a bank if everybody knows about it?
22:01Huh?
22:01And the dames.
22:04I never thought I would get bored with beautiful dames, but...
22:08Look.
22:10Look.
22:11I wouldn't expect an angel to understand this, see, but...
22:14But being a big guy with a chip, it don't mean anything if it's all set up in advance.
22:19And I mean, everything is great here, you see.
22:21Really great.
22:22It's just the way I always imagined it, except that...
22:25That...
22:25What?
22:25Just between you and me, Fats.
22:27I don't think I belong here.
22:29I don't think I fit in.
22:30Oh, nonsense.
22:31Of course you do.
22:32No, I mean it.
22:33I mean it.
22:34It's just somebody must have goofed.
22:35If I gotta stay here another day, I'm gonna go nuts.
22:38Look.
22:39Look.
22:39I don't belong in heaven, see?
22:41I wanna go to the other place.
22:44Heaven?
22:46Whatever gave you the idea you were in heaven, Mr. Valentine?
22:49This is the other place.
23:01A scared, angry little man who never got a break.
23:14Now he has everything he's ever wanted.
23:16And he's going to have to live with it for eternity.
23:20In the Twilight Zone.
23:21The Twilight Zone.
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