- 6 months ago
Holiday Engagement
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Us, Hillary.
00:02I don't think we're gonna work.
00:04What?
00:06Look, I need a partner in life.
00:09A wife who's going to go where I need to go and do what I need to do and be excited about my accomplishments.
00:14I can't get dragged down by somebody who's out saving dogs and cats.
00:17God knows what else.
00:19Jason, is this about moving to Pittsburgh? I'll move to Pittsburgh.
00:26A new VP position opened up in our Pittsburgh office, and I guarantee I am the top pick for this position.
00:32We have a life here.
00:34What am I gonna do with Pittsburgh?
00:38Look, I just, I have to stay focused and mobile to advance in my career.
00:42I gotta keep my priorities straight.
00:44Believe me, this is one of those tough decisions, but it's for the best.
00:48For both of us. I just, I can't make a mistake.
00:51Not now.
00:56What did I become a mistake?
01:03Just...
01:05I have to get this. Just, just, just...
01:07Go for change.
01:10No, no, no, that is exactly how you...
01:14He's a jerk. I knew he was too good to be true.
01:17Maybe my mom was right. Maybe I let him keep one foot out the door.
01:20Alright, it's time to pick the winner for this week's KJWM Weekly Holiday Vacation Giveaway.
01:25And the lucky winner is...
01:27Hillary Burns!
01:28Oh my God, you won!
01:29We are finally in the running for a trip to Mexico. It could be our honeymoon!
01:34What?
01:35All of my sisters found perfect men, and I can't even get one in the door.
01:41Is that it?
01:42Is that what would make you happy right now, to bring home a man for Thanksgiving?
01:46I just can't go home all alone. I just can't face it. I can't do it. Not now.
01:50Okay. Look, all you have to do, just post this with a flirty little intro video of your pretty face, and voila.
01:58All you have to do is click.
02:00I'll help you do the video.
02:02You really think it's a good idea to bring a stranger home, or possibly a psycho to my parents' house for Thanksgiving?
02:09Hillary, I just wanted you to know I planned a small family gathering at the house for when you and Jason arrive.
02:17Do it.
02:18What?
02:19Of course, if he preferred white.
02:22Hi.
02:23Hi.
02:24Hi.
02:25Hi. My name is Hillary.
02:27I need to hire a fake fiancé to bring home to my family for Thanksgiving.
02:32In return, you will receive two free first class tickets to Playa del Carmen, Mexico.
02:37So just record a quick video intro, post it to this page, and we'll get back to you.
02:46Whoa!
02:47What? Who is it? Come in.
02:48I can't believe it.
02:49Look at all of these.
02:50All right.
02:51Mexico has got some sweetest waves, man.
02:52I mean, after the weekend's over here, we can just serve, sun, serve, eat, serve, and then serve some more.
02:54I do have irritable bowel syndrome.
02:55I really need to get to Mexico.
02:59Oh.
03:00Oh.
03:01Oh.
03:02Oh.
03:03Oh.
03:04Oh.
03:05Oh.
03:06Oh.
03:07Oh.
03:08Oh.
03:09Oh.
03:10Oh.
03:11Oh.
03:12Oh.
03:13Oh.
03:14Oh.
03:15Oh.
03:16Oh.
03:17Oh.
03:18Oh.
03:21Oh.
03:23Oh.
03:24Oh.
03:25Oh.
03:27oh i knew this was a bad idea come over here no no no i don't like come on just talk to him he's
03:39cute he kind of looks like jason hello hi is everything okay over there depending on what
03:44you mean by okay everything's great why don't you tell us a bit about yourself oh okay my name is
03:51david i'm an actor hey wait i know you hey wait i know you you're the cell phone guy in the costume
03:57that's just sad he's our first interview come on let's go hi excuse me oh i'm sorry i'm sorry
04:08hi i said acting is my full-time job and today i'm playing a large cell phone oh crap i knew it
04:15come on we gotta go back to y'all that's right and you're the reporter yeah i was sorry to hear
04:22about the newspaper shutting down did you lose your job or what do you think right sorry obvious
04:28for what it's worth i got fired playing a big red cell phone so oh i'm sorry don't be you could help
04:37me save my very last shred of dignity i mean if i can't book a job playing a fake fiance for a weekend
04:43i should probably call it quince are you free to meet hillary tomorrow face to face sure thing
04:49hey okay so i facebook him he hasn't responded and when you google him the only thing that comes
04:57up are a few photos of him on flicker with some chick named lindsey on a beach so looks like he's
05:03not a psycho he's just another out of work loser actor did you sound like my agent oh hi hi um
05:11you two have fun great hi hi so i checked out yeah seems like it do you think that jason is more
05:24of a corporate lawyer type corporate what kind of car do you drive uh 98 jeep grand cherokee fully
05:29loaded we'll take my car okay i'm gonna find you on facebook accept my request click on all my family
05:35photo albums memorize all the names everybody's clearly marked okay will do okay well i guess i'll pick you up
05:42here tomorrow 8 a.m sharp sounds good
05:45okay
05:48um
05:52sorry i don't know what's going on here with the thing the hair
05:58i'll take care of it i'll take care of it yeah okay
06:08i'm gonna buy your coffee
06:20you clean up real good thank you you look nice yourself
06:23and don't forget my parents are very excited that you are a lawyer
06:30about that i don't know if i'm gonna be able to pull that off you're an actor act
06:41okay hit me with the family breakdown okay uh narrative mother housewife extraordinaire roy
06:48dad and councilman uh your youngest sister is trish joy right right trish is the middle one and uh
06:54her husband is gill and joy's fiance's name is uh john paul peter you gotta get these straight
07:00they're all gonna be at the party party yeah it's no big deal just family how long were you and jason
07:06engaged uh we dated for seven months we were engaged for two wow what happened
07:11he's uh he's under a lot of pressure really stressed he got this big job promotion offer
07:18in pittsburgh so oh look here we are
07:24okay just remember say as little as possible and follow my lead
07:27you know you could wash that car every once in a while what about jason's tesla i wanted to ride in
07:49the head oh that was my fault i wanted to save my mileage so we took the jet instead oh well at least
07:56we finally get to meet jason oh you're practically part of the family now yeah okay well let's go in
08:05okay everybody's looking forward to meeting you okay come on in here
08:14i thought you said this was family only i didn't want the whole town to think that you were going to
08:18be a spinster forever everyone this is hillary's beyonce jason hi hi how's it going oh hey
08:28oh jason yeah you were that firm that's defending that uh schmuck shorman shorman yeah man he's as
08:36guilty as they come if you ask me bilking all those suckers out of their life savings you know frank
08:41i think everybody's considered innocent until proven guilty i mean this man right jason yeah
08:49mr burns call me right yes pleasure to meet you roy you you know how does it feel to be defending a
08:55crook like that well uh you know what frank why don't you get yourself some eggnog i just whipped up
09:01a fresh batch thanks frank just comes for the eggnog yeah so listen uh what kind of cases do you do
09:08do you do uh i don't know fraud or extortion or money laundering uh yeah yeah i do all of those
09:15come on dad leave poor jason alone he's spent enough time in the office already yeah give me all that
09:20lawyering do you play uh yes but quite badly no that would be great that you mind if i don't
09:31you know when hillary was young she used to sing oh no oh no no no no
09:38okay everybody it's time to show the engagement ring wait till you see this beauty ta-da
09:53uh so i i i i i i i i i i i i i i that's a funny story actually right sweetie it turns out hillary
10:09lost a few pounds and the ring doesn't fit her anymore and this morning she's taking a shower
10:14she gets out of the shower and the ring falls off her finger into the toilet she calls me hysteric crazy i
10:20was crazy crazy she was she was freaking out i get there so what do i do i gotta man up right
10:26roy i gotta do it it's go time so i get down there on my knees and i and i i go in there i go in there
10:31i'm going deep i can feel it i can feel it right there it gets away then i have to i have to go a
10:35little bit deeper and i'm reaching for it and nope deeper deeper he has really small hands it's
10:41disturbing actually i can feel it i can feel it right right on the edge of my finger it's right there it's
10:45right there and i got it got the ring got the ring yeah it's so cute oh god we decided to leave it
10:52home till we get it resized yeah yeah it's better safe than sorry right sweetie
11:03i'm gonna get a drink hey hell isn't it i thought you quit i did
11:10so is my fiance boring yours with his foot talk yet no but i think david's got his hands pretty full
11:20did i say david yeah and jason of course david's a friend i was on the phone
11:29well i guess we better go back in there if mom has anything else to surprise me with can you please
11:34tell me deal good to see you oh my sweetie oh yes your picture's taken
11:47worry i could show jason his room well honey don't be silly the inn is full besides i don't expect you
11:54to have separate rooms just separate beds and if you need extra pillows or blankets just ask me
12:05that's okay mom i think i know where everything is okay well you take it tonight i'll take tomorrow
12:10whatever you want whatever you want okay okay i'm gonna go get a change for bed okay
12:24sorry um no i'm sorry i thought you were still in the pajamas please uh no i don't uh i don't wear
12:33pajamas i didn't bring it okay it's fine i'll just fine see if my dad has some great
12:46daddy daddy i plead not guilty sorry what sorry i came to ask you if jason could borrow some pajamas
12:55oh i don't have any your mother and i sleep in the wrong oh since when
13:00oh since joy went off to college we ran around naked for a week you should see all right i don't
13:06no no i don't anymore this guy uh this jason he treats you right doesn't yeah yeah of course what
13:15you love him what it's an easy question should be an easy answer dad i'm marrying the guy so
13:22do you love him yes i do
13:25hey beetles are right after all all you need is love
13:47you're right after all you need is love him yes i'm sorry i'm calling someone and uh there's nothing
13:59important but i i i just wanted to let you know that i may have locked into some tickets that might have
14:06common and um i don't know i thought maybe you might want to go you know um call me
14:20good morning morning sweetheart where's trish and gill trish has sold the hotel gill hasn't shown up
14:37yet why are they staying at a hotel when there's plenty of room here well with emma and the nanny
14:42maybe they felt they'd be a bother i don't even know why trish has a nanny i mean come on i felt like
14:48she's never had a job but it's nice that her husband can afford to give her whatever she wants
14:54he's just never around how about jason how much does he earn mom oh sweetie i just want to make
15:02sure that you're cared for oh come on mom it is the 21st century you don't need to be cared for
15:08you have our own jobs right help actually the newspaper i was working for shut down oh i mean not
15:16again well it's not my fault nobody reads newspapers anymore everything's on the internet
15:22wow just in time i want you to tell me if my yam casserole is sweet enough oh i'm sorry i'm not a fan
15:31oh yes you are you're such a joker he's such a joker he loves yams like i said he loves yams okay
15:37i made that with splenda instead of sugar
15:50maybe just a little more time he is really funny he is he really is he's so funny he's such a kidder
15:58well i just hope he's more serious when it comes to setting a wedding date please don't start
16:04honey i'm sorry if i seem a little anxious it's just that i have been deprived of planning the
16:13weddings for not one but two of my daughters here we go can't you girls understand that a mother wants to
16:23plan her daughter's weddings oh since you were babies i've dreamed of this and then to find out
16:29that trisha eloped to an island well what about joy joy's engaged yeah joy's engaged yes he is and has
16:38been for two years i will be six feet under by the time she sets a date
16:43i'm sorry if i'm a little upset but but honey it's come down to you you're the only one i can count
16:55on i'm i'm uh summer 21st i'm i'm uh summer 21st i didn't want to tell you i wanted to
17:04we were going to surprise you at dinner but that's it december 21st you're getting married on december
17:1021st yes oh my god it's kind of soon but it's fabulous oh my darling girl oh this is fantastic
17:20oh did you hear i'm so happy well okay i have to book see the community hall and
17:27and call gail's greenery i don't even know the number we wanted something small
17:40what are they doing out there well your father got it in his head that he was going to deep fry
17:46the turkey this year once we get this baby boiling you just rig the bird up to this line just drop it
17:53in the oil huh whatever you say all right let's fire this bad boy up all right get that would you
17:58yeah let me ask you something uh-huh you ever represent a councilman or a politician or anything no
18:04not personally but you could huh sure good to know good to know uh wait don't you want to wait until
18:13the oil come on we're missing the gate besides it's gonna take half an hour for it to get boiling come
18:18on oh god okay so it's me no things are not going well at all i just told my mom that david and i are
18:26getting married in a month you're marrying david now that was quick no no no me and jason i just i
18:30blurted it out that we're getting married on december 21st wait what this is nuts we're putting
18:35you on speaker well no because what what if jason really did get cold feet and and he's gonna come
18:39back to me because i mean more than more than pittsburgh and then the wedding is already planned
18:44which is which is actually not that crazy no it's crazy hill it's super crazy i know that's crazy
18:51what am i gonna do look i don't know surf's up greg's gonna be here any minute i gotta go what
18:57yeah just listen to your heart just ride the wave just ride the wave what sophie sophie
19:09you know roy i think it's probably been 30 minutes should we go check on the pot do you know i could
19:16use a little you know legal counsel oh well you're a councilman right i'm sure you have a great lawyer
19:24he's a little too involved you know what i mean anyway what would be better than keeping it in the
19:31family all right well i guess i better go drop that bird in the oil oh uh yeah you sure you don't need
19:38a hand with that no no i got it uh ticklish hi it's beeping thank you um peter can i have my my foot
19:54back man oh of course thank you welcome anything important oh no no it's important
20:17oh
20:38oh oh
20:43Roy!
20:45Oh...
20:47For the love of...
20:49Well...
20:51This isn't so bad, is it?
20:56Oh, um...
20:58I asked for seltzer.
21:00This looks like tap water with cheese floating in it.
21:04Sorry, Mrs. Burns.
21:06I can see that your old boyfriend hasn't amounted to much.
21:10Hi!
21:12Sorry we're late.
21:14Hey!
21:15Where's Gil?
21:16Uh...
21:17The benefit that he was attending ran late, so now he's snowed in.
21:22In New York.
21:23Well, that's too bad.
21:24I know.
21:25If he were here, he could have gotten us a table at the golf club.
21:27Then we wouldn't have to eat in this dump.
21:29Hey, it's not snowing in New York.
21:31Hmm.
21:32It's not.
21:33You know, Gilbert has a platinum membership to all the best clubs.
21:36Well, I'm not a big golf fan, so this place suits me just fine.
21:40That's the key.
21:44This is fine.
21:45This is great.
21:46I...
21:47No?
21:48That's...
21:49I thought you said that you met Jason at a charity golf tournament.
21:53Mm-hmm.
21:54That you were covering for that paper?
21:56That's right.
21:57Yeah.
21:58But I'm not a fan of the golf.
22:01But, you know, like a spectator.
22:03But I just play.
22:04But very, very badly.
22:05Very, very badly.
22:06That's why they gave you a car.
22:08Yeah.
22:09A Tesla, right?
22:10Yes.
22:11He won the car at the tournament.
22:13And then you interviewed the winner.
22:14Look at me.
22:15Mm-hmm.
22:16He forgets everything.
22:17Right, honey?
22:18Crazy.
22:19I think you're sandbagging, aren't you?
22:20Oh, my God.
22:21San.
22:22Oh, my God.
22:23San.
22:24Hola.
22:25Oh, thank you.
22:26My name is Paco, and I'll be your server this holiday evening.
22:27Uh, would you like to hear about our specials?
22:29Ah, seguro.
22:30Uh, okay, well, basically what we have is anything that's chicken, ho-yo, we switch
22:35that out for guajolote.
22:37Guajolote?
22:38Guajolote.
22:39Guajolote.
22:40Oh!
22:41Guajolote.
22:42That means turkey.
22:44And that turkey tacos are particularly delicious tonight.
22:47My name.
22:48David?
22:49Yes?
22:50Hey!
22:51It's Julian!
22:52Hi, Julian!
22:53Hey!
22:54Hey!
22:55Hey there!
22:56Hi there!
22:57But my name is Jason.
22:59Jason?
23:00Jason is my name.
23:01No, it's not.
23:02Ja- really?
23:03Yeah, it's Jason.
23:04Look, my- David is my middle name, so there's confusion sometimes.
23:09Oh, okay.
23:10Alrighty.
23:11Well, I mean, it's been a while since we did that bus and truck tour pair together.
23:14Oh, God, you look good.
23:17Are you still in the biz?
23:18Yes.
23:19So, what are you doing?
23:21Oh, you're looking at it.
23:22It's a nightmare, yeah.
23:23I had to move back in with my parents to get a more stable career going on.
23:26So, here I am.
23:27All right, I hear you!
23:29Gracias!
23:30De nada!
23:31I'll be there!
23:32It never stops.
23:33Anyway, I'll be back in a minute to get your orders.
23:35Just word to the wise, don't get the huevos rancheros.
23:37I had them for breakfast.
23:38I feel like there's a knife in my colon.
23:40Happy Turkey Day, everyone!
23:41Olé!
23:42Hey!
23:43Chillin'.
23:44So, Jason David, what biz are you still in?
23:54Oh, I'm in the law.
23:56I do a little pro bono work.
24:01I'm charity.
24:03And I represented a few theater companies a few years back.
24:09So, theater people are so, I'm crazy.
24:13I need some salsa.
24:14Mm-hmm.
24:16He's a giver.
24:17Mmm.
24:18How could you forget we went over that at least a half a dozen times?
24:23I've never played golf before.
24:24It's not a part of my repertoire.
24:25And what was all that with the crazy waiter in the diner?
24:28We were in a production of hair eight years ago.
24:30How was I supposed to know we'd end up in...
24:32Where are we, anyway?
24:33Ah, is everything okay?
24:35As we were just talking about the mix-up of the diner.
24:38Oh, what mix-up?
24:41Well, I'm pooped.
24:42Oh, I'm pooped, too.
24:43It's not every day that we blow up a turkey around here.
24:47You know, dinner was actually kind of fun, and the Mexican food wasn't half bad.
24:51Oh, that's good.
24:52Not as good as your turkey dinner would have been.
24:54Wasn't even close.
24:56You know, if Hillary doesn't take me to the curb, maybe I'll be lucky enough to try it next time.
25:01Mmm.
25:02Well, you know, I didn't want to deep-fry that turkey in the first place.
25:06Mmm.
25:07But when Roy gets an idea stuck in his head...
25:10We've got, uh, stuffing, three pies, and my yam casserole.
25:15Which is always better on the second day, anyway.
25:17Mmm, that is so true.
25:19You know, it's getting late.
25:20Uh-huh.
25:21So you go to bed, get a good night's sleep, and we'll see you in the morning.
25:25And we'll see you in the morning, okay?
25:26Yeah.
25:27Good night.
25:29Your turn to sleep on the cot.
25:32I'm sorry.
25:35No.
25:37No, it was me.
25:40I dropped the ball.
25:41And I just, I don't know why you're doing this.
25:43I mean, I know you want the tickets, but there's gotta be an easier way to get to Mexico.
25:48Yeah.
25:49Mm-hmm.
25:50Playa del Carmen.
25:54That's where I met my girlfriend.
25:55Or, rather, my ex-girlfriend.
25:57I guess I thought that if I took her back to the resort where we met, and, I don't know, it might read Night The Spark or something.
26:09But I didn't have enough money for the ticket, so...
26:11Well, I'm sure it'll work.
26:15I hope so.
26:17I mean, she's kinda dating this other guy, right now.
26:22But who does she call every time they break up?
26:26Me.
26:27So, obviously, she, deep down, she really doesn't want to be with him.
26:33Mm.
26:34So you're the get-back guy.
26:37What?
26:38What, man?
26:41The get-back guy?
26:43You know, the guy she calls to get back at her ex.
26:46No, I'm not that guy. He's that guy.
26:48Well, when you met her, was she seeing him?
26:49No, they just broken up.
26:51See?
26:53No, no, no. It's not like that.
26:55No, they broke up.
26:56Uh-huh.
26:57And then we met.
26:58And then we were, you know, together.
27:01Like a couple.
27:02For how long?
27:04Four, you know, five weeks.
27:09And then she went back to him?
27:11Yeah, but she keeps calling me.
27:13All right, it may look like I'm the get-back guy,
27:17but I know that all she needs to do is get away from that hold he has on her,
27:24and then she can realize that what she really wants is me.
27:29Okay.
27:31Trust me.
27:32I know.
27:33She's materialistic and sentimental.
27:34So this could work.
27:36Maybe.
27:38I mean, the...
27:40The ticket.
27:44Are you hungry?
27:46You know, I was bummed when the post closed down.
27:50That was my Sunday morning read.
27:51I love that funky rag.
27:52I know.
27:54The end of an era.
27:55So are you gonna find another gay reporting or something?
27:58I don't know.
27:59I mean, the only reason why I got that job was because my friend Sophie worked there,
28:02and I needed it, and...
28:04I thought I'm very good at it.
28:06You wrote that article a few weeks back about the animal shelter, right?
28:10Yeah, that's what I mean.
28:11Well, you must have some talent.
28:12I mean, it's thanks to you that I am now the proud owner of the same dog you were hugging in that photo.
28:18You rescued Skittles from the animal shelter because of what I wrote?
28:22Yeah.
28:23Only his name's Whiskey now.
28:25Yeah.
28:26I'm gonna miss the post.
28:27I mean, I get all the news I can handle online, but I wanna hold something.
28:33You know?
28:34Not just my laptop, but an actual newspaper.
28:36Yeah, I love print.
28:37Who says print is dead?
28:39Let's start a revolution.
28:40Be not print.
28:42Nice.
28:45What about you?
28:46This and that cell phone gig are the only paying jobs I've had in a while.
28:53Look at the pair of us.
28:54Jumped, unemployed, and eating sugar and carbs.
28:56At midnight.
28:57Right.
29:02Who is it?
29:06I don't know.
29:08We should take this upstairs.
29:09Great idea.
29:11Only two more days to go.
29:13If we lie low, we just go with it,
29:16I think we can totally get through this.
29:18Now, let's not pressure our love.
29:20Let's get out of here and go sightseeing or something.
29:22I'm planning.
29:26Wow.
29:29No.
29:30Oh, sorry.
29:31Oh, you startled me.
29:33It's beautiful.
29:35Oh, well, it will be.
29:37You do this all yourself?
29:38Every year.
29:39Um, can I help you at all?
29:41No.
29:42Oh.
29:45I'm sorry.
29:46Uh, okay.
29:47There is a wreath over there that I had designed for the mantle.
29:53Yes.
29:54Here?
29:55Pick it up very carefully.
29:56And it belongs right on the mantle in the center.
29:59Okay?
30:00Watch yourself on that ladder.
30:01Oh.
30:02I got it.
30:05Thank you, Jason.
30:06Don't worry about it.
30:08It's a little crooked.
30:10There.
30:12No, I mean, thank you for Thanksgiving and for being such a good sport today.
30:18And...
30:21Thank you for loving my daughter.
30:26She loves you very much, you know.
30:31I can see it in her face.
30:33Well, uh...
30:37I love her, too.
30:38Mrs. Burns.
30:41Oh, call me Meredith.
30:43Please.
30:44Or...
30:45Or Mom.
30:46If you like.
30:48Okay.
30:52Listen, uh...
30:53Can I give you a hand with anything else, or...?
30:55After 20-some years, I've got it down to a science.
30:58All right.
31:00I'll, um...
31:03Head up to bed, then.
31:06Good night, Jason.
31:13Good night.
31:16Good night, Mom.
31:17Good night.
31:18Hey, Hillary.
31:19Yeah.
31:20You see this?
31:21Oh, yeah.
31:22My mom does this every year after Thanksgiving.
31:24It's her tradition.
31:25When we were little, we used to think it was elves or something.
31:38Just the two I was looking for
31:47I know you're only here for a few more days
31:55But we have to find the perfect wedding dress
31:58And pick the china and the linens and the cake
32:02Oh, I think you should go, hon
32:04I mean, go with it
32:06Isn't that what brides are supposed to do?
32:09Go dress shopping with their mothers?
32:11Yes, of course, yeah
32:12You really think it's a good idea to go shopping on Black Friday?
32:16Let's go shopping!
32:18Let's go shopping!
32:19Yay!
32:24Come on, look
32:32Oh, it's beautiful
32:34Here, hold my purse
32:38Thanks
32:40Here, okay, thanks
32:43Are you almost ready?
32:50Oh!
32:51Oh!
32:53Hillary, it looks beautiful
32:55Oh, honey, you look beautiful
32:58You're pretty
32:58Thank you very much
33:01Thank you
33:01Thank you
33:02Oh, darling, I love you
33:04Yeah?
33:04Yeah
33:05Oh!
33:09So what's going on with you and Jason?
33:12Nothing
33:12My point exactly
33:15For two young lovebirds
33:17I don't see much affection
33:19No kiss, no hug
33:22Mom, he's just not a touchy-feely guy
33:24Don't worry about it
33:25I just want to be able to see your marriage succeed
33:28You know
33:29Most marriages fall apart
33:31First, in the bedroom
33:34You know, your father and I make love three times a week
33:38Ah!
33:38My ears are bleeding
33:39Jason's a good catch
33:41A little odd and nervous, I guess
33:44But I like him
33:46He's good for you
33:49Pretty
33:54Oh!
33:57Pretty
33:58Oh!
33:59Is she getting married?
34:00Well, yes, of course
34:01I'm not
34:02Oh
34:02My therapist says that I should visualize what I want and it will manifest itself
34:07Well, that sounds like, um, a very good strategy
34:11I want that dress
34:13I'll take it
34:14That's beautiful
34:17Thank you
34:17Nice
34:18Oh, ma'am
34:20Ma'am, that is my fiancé's dress
34:22I saw it first and it's mine
34:24Okay, can I have it, please?
34:25No
34:25Look, of your way
34:26Pretty!
34:27Oh, my God
34:28Who dressed my bride?
34:32Just between you and I
34:39How would you advise a client to proceed if it was discovered that, let's say, he was getting money for selling, I don't know, boats?
34:47I would probably advise that person to stop talking about it and definitely not tell anyone
34:51I'm not kidding
34:51There's no one
34:53Gotcha
34:54Gotcha
34:54Hey, so what do you like better, cups or mugs?
34:58I don't know
34:59I think, I think we could put a new set of mugs
35:01What do you think?
35:01Table setting for eight or twelve?
35:04Hillary, can I talk you outside for a minute?
35:06Yeah
35:06Okay
35:06What, what, what?
35:11You do realize that we're not actually getting married, right?
35:16Yeah
35:16Yeah
35:17Yeah
35:17Yeah
35:17Yeah
35:18But what if Jason actually did get cold feet?
35:21I mean, a lot of people think they want to move to Pittsburgh and then they change their mind
35:26Hey, look sharp, kid, there is someone here to see you
35:29Oh, Father Macy, what are you doing here?
35:38Well, sweetie, your wedding is in less than a month
35:40You really should have met with Father Macy weeks ago, so I invited him over
35:44Oh, my
35:46Oh
35:46Hello, I'm Father Macy
35:49Hi, Father
35:50Jason
35:51So, is there somewhere we could go and talk?
35:55Well, it's a beautiful day, why don't you take a walk?
35:57Perfect
35:58So, Jason
35:59You're going to marry Hillary
36:01That's what they keep telling me
36:03I would like to make sure that you're both headed on the same path
36:06That you share the same ideals and beliefs, for if not, the marriage could suffer
36:10So, Jason, tell me, which church were you raised in?
36:16Well, I didn't actually go to church
36:19No worries
36:20Are you Roman Catholic?
36:22No
36:22Protestant
36:23Mm-hmm
36:24LDS?
36:25Jewish
36:25Jewish
36:27Well, I see
36:31I'm sure you understand, then, that I would not be able to perform a ceremony
36:35No, we talked about this, and Jason has no problem converting
36:38Actually, I
36:40Oh, I have a wonderful idea
36:42We could have Jason baptized at the same time as Emma
36:45Oh, I don't
36:46No, Trish, I don't
36:48Yeah, that could
36:50Wow
36:51No way
36:52No way I'm getting baptized
36:53Come on
36:54It's just a formality
36:55It's not that big a deal
36:56I'm Jewish
36:57You're not that Jewish
36:58What are you even talking about?
37:00My grandma, Turtletop, would roll in her grave if she knew I was doing this
37:04My mom will be so disappointed if we don't have a wedding at her church
37:07What wedding, Hillary?
37:09We're not really getting married
37:10Stay quiet
37:11Shh
37:11Oh
37:12Oh my God
37:15I'm so sorry
37:16This is so stupid
37:19You're right, this is so stupid
37:21What am I doing?
37:22This is so stupid
37:23I mean, here I am
37:26Trying to do everything to make my mother happy
37:28And for what?
37:29To set her up for my greatest disappointment ever
37:32That's so foolish to think Jason is actually coming back
37:35He's not coming back
37:36I mean, he's in Pittsburgh
37:37He's happy to be rid of me
37:39Here
37:47Just give the voucher numbers to the airline for your tickets
37:52Take them
37:56You earn them
37:58But the
37:59The weekend's not even over yet
38:01Please
38:03I couldn't expect you to stay when the crap hits the fan
38:06I mean, God knows you've been throwing up already
38:08Yeah
38:10So, uh
38:13This is it
38:14Engagement's off
38:15Yes
38:17Yeah
38:17The engagement's off
38:19Um
38:24Is there a train or something I should catch?
38:30Yeah
38:31Um, you missed the 5.30, but I think there's an 11.30
38:34One, that's
38:37That's better
38:38I should probably wait to leave until after everyone's gone to bed
38:40So
38:41Thanks
38:42Sure
38:44Well
38:56That was, uh
38:58Fun
38:59Right?
38:59Yeah
39:00Good luck with, uh
39:02Everything
39:04I hope you find the spark in Mexico
39:06Thanks
39:08Uh
39:09He says
39:38I'll call you tomorrow
39:40Joy
39:43Is that the waiter from the diner?
39:45Yep
39:46Stu and I dated for a couple months
39:47Before Mom set me up with the foot man
39:49She thought Stu wasn't good enough, so
39:52She worked her magic
39:54And the next thing I knew
39:56Stu was out of the picture
39:57And I was engaged to Pete the podiatrist
40:00Is that why you haven't set a date?
40:02Don't get me wrong
40:05Pete's a good man
40:07A little weird
40:08But
40:10Good guy
40:11I just don't love him
40:14Not like I love Stu
40:18What's really going on
40:20With you and Jason?
40:22Jason dumped me a week ago
40:24So I hired an actor named David
40:28To play my fiancé for the weekend
40:31You what?
40:35Wait
40:35Wait
40:36Okay
40:38So
40:39Where did Jason or David go?
40:43Left
40:43Just
40:46I don't know
40:48It's
40:49Left
40:49It's
40:50I don't know
40:51Oh wow
40:53But
40:54You like him
40:56David
40:57You like David
40:58I
40:58What?
40:59I don't like David
41:00I don't even know David
41:01It's crazy
41:02I like David
41:03Yes
41:05There's something I have to tell you
41:07About Jason
41:08He dumped me
41:10I am well aware of what's going on
41:13You are?
41:14Yes
41:15I saw him leaving last night
41:16Oh
41:17That's just part of it
41:19That's not
41:19Hillary Jean
41:20I have to say this
41:22Sweetheart
41:23When are you going to get serious?
41:26You are not a spring chicken anymore
41:2830 is in the rear view mirror
41:30And you have nothing to show for it
41:33No career
41:34No direction
41:34And now I guess
41:35No Jason
41:36Guess again
41:37I'm sitting in his car
41:39I thought I'd invite him in
41:40Long story tell you later
41:43They're still on
41:44They're still on
41:45Just so everyone knows
41:47For the record
41:48None of this is Hillary's fault
41:49Oh no
41:50Okay
41:51So
41:52Don't you two get a kiss and make up?
41:56Go on
41:57Okay
42:03Should I call Father Macy?
42:19I don't know
42:22I don't know
42:23No
42:23No that's fine
42:24Call him
42:25Call him
42:27I gotta
42:28I should go unpack
42:31Told ya
42:34Thank you
42:44Hey
42:45We had a deal, right?
42:49So
42:49Is your
42:49Is your
42:50Ex or whatever
42:51Is she going to Mexico?
42:54Yep
42:54Well that's nice
42:55You guys should have a good time
42:56I don't know about me
42:58But I'm sure she and Penny
43:00Will have a great time
43:01What do you mean?
43:04She thought I was giving her the tickets
43:06Oh
43:07Ow
43:07She was just using me
43:09It's the story of my life
43:10Always the get back guy
43:12Never just the guy
43:13You know
43:14Don't give her those tickets
43:15Hi Liz
43:20So
43:21Did you do the tickets?
43:23Yeah
43:23About that
43:23You know when I told you
43:25About these tickets
43:26I was kind of hoping
43:27That you and I
43:27Would go
43:28Oh my god
43:29Wait till Matt
43:30Finds out that
43:31I'm going to Mexico
43:32Right
43:33Can we not
43:34Talk about Matt
43:35Maybe
43:35Oh my god
43:36He's gonna be so pissed
43:36Sweetie
43:39Hi
43:39Hi
43:40Oh
43:41I'm so sorry
43:42I'm late
43:42I had to meet the caterers
43:44I had another dress fitting
43:46I'm sorry
43:48And you are
43:48You are
43:50Lindsay
43:51Lindsay
43:52Lindsay
43:54Lindsay
43:56David told me all about you
43:58And Playa del Carmen
43:59God I guess I'm lucky
44:00He's not into party girls
44:01Did you send her an invite
44:03To our wedding?
44:05Wedding?
44:06You didn't send her an invite?
44:08It happened so fast though
44:10That's right
44:11It was just boom
44:12Like that
44:13Love at first sight
44:14Isn't that right too?
44:17Thanks David
44:18Can I just have the tickets please?
44:19Please
44:20David
44:22That's actually why I'm here
44:23I have to admit
44:24When he first told me
44:25About your thing
44:26In Mexico
44:27I was jealous
44:28I was
44:29In the heat of the moment
44:30I told him to give the vouchers away
44:32Right?
44:32Because it's not like
44:33We're gonna have a honeymoon
44:33Where he met some girl
44:34But then
44:36I woke up this morning
44:37And I was like
44:38No
44:39You know what?
44:40The past is the past
44:41The heck with it
44:42I mean he's marrying me
44:43Not you
44:44So I went online
44:45I traded in the vouchers
44:46And surprise!
44:48Honey wouldn't buy it on Carmen
44:49You didn't!
44:49I did!
44:50Oh come here
44:50Bye Lindy
44:55Uh huh!
45:00Help!
45:01Ah!
45:03Cheers!
45:05Mm
45:05Oh
45:05Oh
45:06Yeah
45:07Angels we have heard on high
45:23Sweetly singing on the plains
45:29Gloria
45:40In excelsis Deo
45:53Oh that was wonderful
46:02Honey I haven't heard you sing for so long
46:05And the two of you together
46:07Just beautiful
46:08Just beautiful
46:09Jason
46:16Jason
46:19What are you doing here?
46:23I wanted to see you
46:25Who is it honey?
46:28Oh
46:29Mom
46:31Dad
46:31Everybody
46:34This is Jason
46:37Happy holidays everybody
46:40Mom
46:47Mom
46:47I'm sorry
46:48I shouldn't have done that
46:48But I didn't want to disappoint you
46:49So you bring a total stranger into my house
46:52I would never ever have believed
46:54That you would be capable of doing something so despicable
46:58What were you thinking?
47:00Peter and I are breaking up
47:01Sorry dude
47:06Was there any chance you might still be a lawyer with him?
47:20No
47:20Hillary
47:22Can we talk?
47:26I'm so sorry about David
47:27I don't know
47:28I think I might have lost my mind
47:30I'm so confused
47:31I don't know anything
47:32I don't understand
47:33You do?
47:35Because I don't
47:36People do crazy things when their hearts have been broken
47:39Besides
47:40Harboring grudges is no way for us to start our future together
47:43Our future?
47:45You said I was a mistake
47:48And I don't know if I want to move to Pittsburgh
47:51There is no Pittsburgh
47:52Sharpel gave the promotion to his idiot nephew
47:56But
47:57None of that matters anymore
48:00Because
48:00Because now we can be together
48:03David?
48:16What are you doing?
48:17Well actually I was just going to go talk to Hillary
48:18I think that's a bad idea
48:20In fact I'm very surprised to see that you're still here
48:23Weren't you the one that was paid to fill Jason's shoes?
48:27And now that Jason is here
48:28I really don't think there's any reason for you to stay
48:32But I
48:33Don't
48:33Don't hurt Hillary's chances
48:35Okay
48:36No, no, no
48:38You know what?
48:40You may think that Jason
48:41Is the perfect son-in-law
48:43But he's not
48:44He walked out on Hillary
48:46She's the one who's perfect
48:48She's kind
48:48And she's beautiful
48:50And she's a gifted writer
48:51Have you ever even read one of her articles?
48:55She can talk to this whole thing
48:56Just because she's terrified
48:59Of disappointing you
49:01All she wants is to keep you happy
49:05And Meredith
49:08I'm sorry that I deceived you
49:12I truly am very sorry
49:14And it's fine if you think that Jason will make her happy
49:17But have you ever
49:19Asked Hillary
49:20What will make her happy?
49:23Have you?
49:24Kiss me
49:41Kiss me
49:43I really have to get this done
49:45Kiss me like
49:45Like the future Mrs. King
49:47Kiss me like you love me
49:48Hillary
49:48I really don't think your parents asked the place for this
49:50You two love me, right?
49:56Go for King
49:57Bill's gonna be fine
49:59No
49:59Gary will get him to me
50:01I have a question
50:07Does
50:08Um
50:09Jason
50:10The real Jason
50:11Not the fake Jason
50:12Does he have any other talents besides being a good lawyer?
50:18What do you mean?
50:19Can you rig a turkey?
50:21Maybe play a tune?
50:23Jason?
50:25I don't think so
50:26What do you make you sing?
50:30Like you did earlier tonight?
50:35You know
50:35I know it doesn't seem like it
50:37But your mother really just wants you to be happy
50:40Maybe it's time you
50:42Told her what you want
50:44If you know what you want
50:46Mom
50:48Oh Hillary
50:50I'm so sorry honey
50:54You sent all these beautiful articles
50:57And
50:58I'm sorry
50:59I didn't read them
51:01You've always been a gifted writer
51:03And
51:03And all of those wonderful things
51:05That
51:06David yelled at me
51:07Do you
51:09Love
51:10Jason?
51:12Not
51:12Not
51:12I mean
51:13You know
51:13The real Jason
51:14Oh I know you mean
51:16No
51:20I think I hate him
51:26Me too
51:27Do you love David?
51:37I hate him
51:37I got to buy you a car
51:58Thanks
52:01I have four copies right
52:03What?
52:06You
52:06You say my car?
52:08Hillary
52:08What?
52:09Are you
52:10Where are you going?
52:11I'll call you a cab
52:31Hi
52:39How did you
52:41I borrowed Jason's car
52:42You and Jason?
52:46Nope
52:47Jason is a total jerk
52:49You're right
52:50And a big mistake
52:51Huge mistake
52:53Huge mistake
52:56Okay
52:57You're here now
53:00You're here
53:03Mmhmm
53:03What does that make me?
53:09Not a mistake
53:10I'm
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