Dinosaur Island_1994_lusty cave women on a lush island paradise

Watch Free Movies

FULL HOT MOVIE  Five downed pilots must contend with hungry prehistoric beasts and lusty cave women on a lush island paradise.   *  #watchfreemovie  #watcnow  #fullmovie  #watchonlinemovie  #freestreaming  #StreamingNow  #MovieRecommendations  #MustWatch  #ClassicMovies  #Thriller  #Mystery  #WatchOnline  #TopRatedMovies  #CinemaLovers  #DramaFilm  #ForeignFilms  #AwardWinning  #MovieOfTheDay  #InstantClassic  #FeelGoodMovies  #RetroMovies  #MovieClips  #BestCinematography  #StreamingTonight  #LateNightMovies  #RomanticDrama  #Top10Movies  #PopcornTime  #MovieMarathon  #LoveStory  #romanticmovie  #WatchFree  #FreeMoviesOnline  #FilmOfTheYear  #BestMoviesEver  #Comedy  #FunnyMovie  #mustwatchmovie  #Movie  #Film  #filme  #Movies  #FullMovies  #ActionMovies  #ComedyMovies  #HorrorMovies  #DramaMovies  #RomanticMovies  #ThrillerMovies  #EuropeanFilms  #europeanmovie  #FrenchCinema  #SpanishMovies  #ItalianFilms  #GermanMovies  #EuropeanMovieClips  #EuropeanFilmFestival  #BestEuropeanMovies  #TopEuropeanFilms  #ClassicEuropeanCinema  #EuropeanDramaFilms  #EuropeanFilmAwards  #ScandinavianMovies  #EuropeanHorrorFilms  #EuropeanComedyMovies  #EuropeanArtFilms  #EuropeanIndieFilms

Transcript

00:00:00I'll see you next time.

00:00:30You're about to hear one of the strangest stories in military history.

00:00:51I know because it happened to me, Captain Jason Briggs, Army career man for 23 years,

00:00:56no visible scars. At least until that day we were flying some 30,000 feet over a very empty section

00:01:03of the Blue Pacific. Along for the ride was Sergeant Ben Healey, my second command since

00:01:09I was stationed in Seoul. A good tough man, but a royal pain in the ass, sometimes.

00:01:15Corporal Buzz Branigan was up front at the controls, helping me escort three of the

00:01:21sorriest excuses for soldiers it had ever been my displeasure to meet.

00:01:26Private Wilbur Tabowski, or Turbo as the others called him. To me, he was just another prisoner

00:01:31headed for military court in San Diego. They said Private Wayne Kincaid was the brain, but

00:01:37the kid looked as lost as his cohorts. Like Turbo, he was facing charges for going AWOL.

00:01:44And finally, there was Schemer, a pathetic, shiftless recruit who certainly lived up to

00:01:48his name. According to the report from Honolulu Command, he was the mastermind behind the theft

00:01:54of the tank that got Turbo and the brain in hot water. Little did we know that we were all

00:01:59about to find ourselves in hot water, with little hope for survival.

00:02:03What's going on?

00:02:05Better stop it in back there, guys. We're going to have the ditch.

00:02:13What the heck? What is it?

00:02:29Please, God, let it be club man.

00:02:57I wouldn't get your hopes up, John. According to the map, this place doesn't even exist.

00:03:02What are you saying, Lieutenant?

00:03:05What I'm saying is, this island is completely uncharted.

00:03:10Well, men, we made it back to good old Terra Firma, no matter what your charts say.

00:03:15Hey, Cap, look! It's our stuff! How'd it get here?

00:03:18Same way we did, that weird current.

00:03:20What do we do now, sir?

00:03:21First things first. Let's see what kind of supplies survived the crash. Hopefully there's

00:03:26something we can use.

00:03:38Oh!

00:03:39Hey, we got a first aid kit.

00:03:41And K-rations!

00:03:43And weapons!

00:03:46And playpen. This is something we can really use.

00:03:49Here's what I've been looking for.

00:03:51Transmitter.

00:03:52You think it still works?

00:03:52The batteries are still okay.

00:04:01Hey, look!

00:04:03What?

00:04:04I thought I saw something!

00:04:06Where?

00:04:07There! It ain't a cave!

00:04:09What was it?

00:04:11I'm not sure.

00:04:13Whatever it was, I'll flush it out.

00:04:15Hold it, Sergeant.

00:04:16We're too low on ammo for you to waste it.

00:04:19That's an order.

00:04:20Sir.

00:04:20What did this thing live in?

00:04:23I know it's gonna sound crazy, but it looked like a...

00:04:28Nah.

00:04:29It couldn't have been.

00:04:30It must be my imagination.

00:04:34Kincaid!

00:04:35Yes, Captain?

00:04:37How's Buzz?

00:04:38Why don't you ask him, sir?

00:04:39How you doing, soldier?

00:04:47Hey, okay, Cap.

00:04:49Just one thing.

00:04:50What?

00:04:51Sure could use a smoke.

00:04:54Here you go, buddy.

00:05:02What are his chances?

00:05:05Not good.

00:05:06We've got to move him inland.

00:05:07Get him out of the sun.

00:05:08Yeah.

00:05:09Private?

00:05:10Grab some weapons.

00:05:12Healey, give us a hand.

00:05:28Let's move around that point.

00:05:34We're gonna have to go in the drink again.

00:05:36Come on, let's hustle with that.

00:05:38Kencaid?

00:05:40I want you to find the lookout for him.

00:05:41Here, take this.

00:05:42Right, Captain.

00:05:43Come on, let's go.

00:05:46It's all clear.

00:05:47Bring around.

00:05:48Wayne, stay here with Buzz and do what you can for him.

00:06:01We'll scout around and see if we can find something to make a stretcher.

00:06:19Let's go.

00:06:20Stray-looking trees.

00:06:39strange-looking trees never seen anything like them probably poisonous why don't you take a bite

00:06:47and find out sarge why don't you bite my ass skimmer you know according to my map the spot

00:06:52that we're looking for should be right over here is everything a joke to you son just my career

00:06:58sir it won't be after this mission

00:07:09how much farther are we going why did you join this man's army in the first place all you do

00:07:16is bitch i thought it would be more like hogan's heroes or f troop besides i heard you get laid

00:07:21a lot you do

00:07:22captain are you sure arming these men is such a good idea they are under house arrest there's

00:07:42no telling what we'll run into captain can we take a break what's your problem now i gotta go to the can

00:07:49fall out fall down is more like it

00:07:54have you got any water left

00:08:19on your feet man stay alert five bucks says he caught himself in a zipper

00:08:29captain oh captain on the way in here yeah those aren't waves crashing schemer

00:08:36sounds more like splashing

00:08:39it's coming from over there get your stuff

00:08:44yabba-dabba-doo what did i tell you

00:09:10what the hell was that all right back to the beach double time

00:09:24there they are now

00:09:26come on

00:09:28come on let's go

00:09:29make a run for it buzz

00:09:30come on let's go

00:09:33make a run for it buzz

00:09:39oh shit

00:09:54come on let's go

00:09:57come on let's go

00:10:01open fire

00:10:17damn it that's an order

00:10:19give me the gun

00:10:20oh

00:10:27no

00:10:31watch

00:10:35you

00:10:37yeah

00:10:39okay

00:10:41yeah

00:10:43Oh, my God!

00:10:46Oh, my God!

00:11:13You all right, Lieutenant?

00:11:14Yeah, I think so.

00:11:16Guys, what about them?

00:11:19I say we introduce ourselves.

00:11:21Not so fast, Schemer. These women are savages.

00:11:23I'm counting on it.

00:11:24Sergeant is right. We may not be welcome.

00:11:26Who cares? We're the Army.

00:11:28Uncle Sam expects a certain amount of cavorting and pillaging.

00:11:31Surrender.

00:11:33You speak English.

00:11:34Surrender or die.

00:11:36You speak English very well.

00:11:38Which one of you is Uncle Sam?

00:11:40Uncle Sam?

00:11:41The leader you spoke of.

00:11:44What do you want him for?

00:11:45We want to kill him.

00:11:47Well, this is a fine mess you've gotten us into, Sam.

00:11:50Excuse me, ma'am.

00:11:52I'm the leader of this unit.

00:11:54Captain Jason Briggs, United States Army.

00:11:57I do not know these words you speak.

00:11:59You are men. Are you not?

00:12:02Well, I can't speak for everybody, but I'm all man.

00:12:06You must come with us.

00:12:08Excuse me. You don't give orders here. I do.

00:12:10What's so funny?

00:12:17Men giving orders.

00:12:19Everyone knows you are a brainless beast.

00:12:22Sticks and stones will break our bones, but names can never hurt us.

00:12:25We have sticks.

00:12:26And stones.

00:12:27Let's break some bones.

00:12:29Hold it, Healey.

00:12:31We'll go peacefully.

00:12:32I'm sorry I froze back there, Captain.

00:12:46When I give one of my soldiers a direct order, I expect it to be followed.

00:12:48Understood?

00:12:49Yes, sir.

00:12:50It's just that ever since I was a little kid, I've always been afraid of anything.

00:12:51Creepy crawling.

00:12:52Begging your pardon, Captain.

00:12:53Why did you surrender so easily?

00:12:54These women know their way around the island.

00:12:55We may need their help to get off.

00:12:56You can say that again.

00:12:57Will you get a load of that?

00:12:58Unbelievable.

00:12:59Amazing.

00:13:00I've been wondering what the dog was doing with all those bones.

00:13:01Go!

00:13:02Go!

00:13:03Yes, ma'am.

00:13:04Gentlemen, let's proceed.

00:13:05Let's get a load of the variety of trees.

00:13:06You can only show the trees that you've never seen on the island.

00:13:08We might need your help to get off.

00:13:09You can say that again.

00:13:10Will you get a load of that?

00:13:11Unbelievable.

00:13:12Amazing.

00:13:13I've been wondering what the dog was doing with all those bones.

00:13:18Go!

00:13:19Go!

00:13:20Yes, ma'am.

00:13:21Gentlemen, let's proceed.

00:13:23Sorry, let me make a mistake.

00:13:32I'm sorry, what do you make of this?

00:13:34First I watch this on the beach, now this?

00:13:37You got me, Turbo.

00:13:38Ask Kincaid, he's Mr. Know-It-All.

00:13:40I can't explain it either.

00:13:42I mean, could be we just landed on some piece of rock

00:13:44that time just simply forgot.

00:13:45You mean...

00:13:46Yes!

00:13:47This could be...

00:13:48Dun-dun-dun!

00:13:51Dinosaur Island.

00:13:54Look alive, man.

00:14:00Move along, move along.

00:14:01The featherbeats will not hurt you.

00:14:03They only feed on leaves.

00:14:05Come along, come along.

00:14:06I bet they make great pets, too,

00:14:07once you get them housebroken.

00:14:09Let's go.

00:14:14The featherbeats will not hurt you, too.

00:14:16Let's go.

00:14:19You're right there.

00:14:49John, this is Club Net.

00:14:57If anybody wants me, I'll be by the pool.

00:15:01Do not move. I'll put my spear in you.

00:15:04Sounds a little kinky, but hey, I'll try anything once.

00:15:06What's going to happen to us?

00:15:08That is for Queen Morgana to decide.

00:15:11This will decide what happens to me.

00:15:14Queen? Move, go, go.

00:15:16I'm afraid.

00:15:19Neil! Neil, you dogs!

00:15:37Who are you who dares enter my domain?

00:15:41We are soldiers, Your Majesty.

00:15:43Soldiers?

00:15:44Yes, like your warriors.

00:15:48Impossible. You're too small and fleshy to be warriors, or men for that matter.

00:15:53Now wait just a minute.

00:15:56Take away their fire spears.

00:15:57Oh, Mighty Queen, if they are warriors, perhaps they've been sent to us for a reason.

00:16:09And what reason would that be, Princess?

00:16:12Maybe they can save us from the Great One.

00:16:15Jackie Gleason?

00:16:17Do you actually believe that these puny creatures could succeed where our forefathers have failed?

00:16:21No, my queen, I don't.

00:16:30Take these worthless fools from my sight.

00:16:32Put them to work in the pits.

00:16:33What is that the barbecue coming on?

00:16:42I remember a little place in Patterson, New Jersey called the Pit Stop.

00:16:45It's a great little bar.

00:16:47I bet this pit won't be as much fun.

00:16:49That's where you spend the rest of your lives in chains.

00:16:51That's what they said in Patterson, Kill.

00:16:53Wayne?

00:17:10Skeemer?

00:17:13You know, actually, we had nothing to do with this.

00:17:14Captain Briggs is kind of crazy, you know?

00:17:21It's you.

00:17:23A Jew?

00:17:24I resemble that remark.

00:17:25It's you.

00:17:27Me?

00:17:29You bear the mark.

00:17:30The one we've been waiting for.

00:17:33Our savior.

00:17:34Right.

00:17:35It's me.

00:17:37I'm here.

00:17:39Yeah.

00:17:40I'm here.

00:17:41I can't go under the mark.

00:17:43I'm here.

00:17:44It's me.

00:17:53Why do these men still live?

00:17:59Because they are not men, Queen.

00:18:01They are gods.

00:18:02This one has the mark.

00:18:04Courtesy of Win Ray's tattoos, Deuce and Broadway.

00:18:08A trick.

00:18:09Summon the soothsayer.

00:18:10We shall let her decide.

00:18:11Ask your bones whether or not these creatures possess magic.

00:18:28It is true, your highness.

00:18:30These are the gods predicted in the sacred scroll.

00:18:33Sacred scroll?

00:18:35It is in the midst of a terrible famine.

00:18:37The ocean would open up and out would come five strange and one gods.

00:18:41I've been called strange.

00:18:42I've got dibs on wonderful.

00:18:43And my tummy's been growling ever since I got here.

00:18:46They would wear foreign robes and provide us with food.

00:18:50Tic-tac?

00:18:51But most importantly, among them there will be one who the yellow sun smiles on.

00:18:56His magic would be the most powerful of all.

00:18:58For he will be the one, it will be the savior that will deliver us from the great one.

00:19:02Hey, I only deliver within a one mile radius of my house.

00:19:05Schemer.

00:19:06My people are starving.

00:19:08I refuse to place their fate in the hands of these so-called gods.

00:19:12Hey, Queenie, don't be such a sourpuss.

00:19:14Your savior's here.

00:19:15Put on a happy face.

00:19:28Where are you taking us to?

00:19:29We must prepare you for battle.

00:19:31Hey, is that spear loaded?

00:19:42Oh, my God.

00:19:50Oh, my God.

00:19:51That was great.

00:19:56Let's give it a try.

00:20:22This is Sergeant Healy of the United States Army.

00:20:25This is an SOS.

00:20:27Does anybody read me?

00:20:29Come in.

00:20:30Over.

00:20:33It's no use, Captain.

00:20:38The signal's not being picked up.

00:20:40We're gonna have to broadcast from higher ground.

00:20:44Let's wrap it up.

00:20:49We thought you might need your fire spears.

00:20:58We will await word of your victory.

00:21:01I'm dedicating our victory to you.

00:21:06Wait, this is silly.

00:21:07We've got to call you something.

00:21:11I know, from now on, you're Miss April.

00:21:12Miss May.

00:21:13And Miss June.

00:21:14April?

00:21:15May?

00:21:16June?

00:21:17Miss Ashby.

00:21:19This will explain everything.

00:21:22What is it?

00:21:24Our sacred scroll.

00:21:25Is it magic?

00:21:26I don't have no idea.

00:21:27Now, study it hard because we will be giving you a pop quiz later on.

00:21:32Why don't we try going downhill for a while?

00:21:48Because the girl said to follow the sun five leagues past the flowery gnoll.

00:21:52Yeah, and then what?

00:21:53What do you mean?

00:21:54I mean, what's our plan?

00:21:56We kill the Great One and come back conquering Europe.

00:21:58Do you think it's that simple?

00:21:59Absolutely.

00:22:00I don't know, John.

00:22:01I mean, you saw what that thing did to Buzz.

00:22:03Look, it's the worst creature of all.

00:22:08The Sargesaurus.

00:22:20Hiya, Cap.

00:22:21Boy, am I glad to see you guys.

00:22:22Jesus Christ.

00:22:25What are you guys doing here?

00:22:27Trying to signal the rescue party.

00:22:28Rescue party?

00:22:30You don't get it, do you?

00:22:31If we get rescued, the party's over.

00:22:34Party?

00:22:34What the hell is he talking about?

00:22:36And how did you get our weapons back?

00:22:37The women think we're gods.

00:22:39And all we have to do is kill the Great One to prove ourselves.

00:22:43You gotta be kidding.

00:22:44Turbo here couldn't even kill a garter snake, let alone a dinosaur.

00:22:48But if we do, we could spend the rest of our lives living in paradise.

00:22:52I hate to disappoint you, but you three are going back to jail, and I'm going to put you there.

00:22:59You getting anything, Sergeant?

00:23:00Just a hiss.

00:23:01Nothing but static.

00:23:02I hear it, too.

00:23:03But it doesn't sound like static.

00:23:05And I don't think it's coming from the radio.

00:23:07Where is it coming from?

00:23:09Oh, shit.

00:23:16Fire.

00:23:22Fire.

00:23:32Fire.

00:23:34Fire.

00:23:35Fire.

00:23:37Fire.

00:23:38Fire.

00:23:39Fire.

00:23:39No!

00:24:09I do not understand. How is it possible for a god to die?

00:24:24His magic must not have been very powerful.

00:24:27The important thing is that they have slain the Great One.

00:24:30The Queen will be very pleased.

00:24:32This is calls for a celebration.

00:24:33No, not yet. First we have to bury our dead.

00:24:36What's your angle?

00:24:40What are you talking about?

00:24:42You never gave a shit about Hiwi.

00:24:44Why the sudden change of heart?

00:24:47Captain's right, John. I mean, you always thought he was a jerk.

00:24:50But he was our jerk.

00:25:02What is this place?

00:25:04It is heaven.

00:25:05Heaven?

00:25:06That is the war of the missionaries taught us.

00:25:09It means the place you go after you die.

00:25:12It's a burial ground.

00:25:13Get a load of that.

00:25:15Looks like something right out of King Kong.

00:25:21Captain, wouldn't it be easier to bury him at sea?

00:25:24Wayne, how's your arm?

00:25:29It's okay, sir.

00:25:31Give it a rest.

00:25:32I'm fine.

00:25:34That's an order.

00:25:36Turbo, take over.

00:25:37Come on, let's put some muscle in it.

00:25:49You are in pain?

00:25:51Just give me a bullet to bite on and I'll be fine.

00:25:53I do not understand.

00:25:56Yeah, I'm in pain.

00:25:58And eating a bullet will help?

00:26:01I don't think anything on this island is going to help.

00:26:04What about me?

00:26:06You?

00:26:08Come.

00:26:08Hey, Captain, my arm's starting to hurt.

00:26:16Dig.

00:26:23Where are we going?

00:26:25You'll see.

00:26:31Wow.

00:26:31Come.

00:26:36Sit.

00:26:48Ow, ow, ow.

00:26:51Ow, what are you doing?

00:26:53I'm healing you.

00:26:54You could have fooled me.

00:26:59May Almighty God have mercy on his soul.

00:27:01I'm in.

00:27:02I'm in.

00:27:04Where have you been?

00:27:06I'll explain it to you when I understand it.

00:27:09Come, sisters.

00:27:10We must bring word of the Great One's death to the Queen.

00:27:13We'll meet you back at the village.

00:27:24All right, men, let's get the gear and go.

00:27:31There goes the Great One.

00:27:39So much for the Great One.

00:27:40Look a lot, look a lot.

00:27:43Take a good, long look, ladies.

00:27:46It's wonderful.

00:27:47A miracle.

00:27:48This meat will feed many mouths.

00:27:50But where's the Great One?

00:27:54Where's the what?

00:27:55We thought that...

00:27:56Wait, isn't that...

00:27:57This is just a beast of armor.

00:28:00Oh, no.

00:28:01And a baby one at that.

00:28:03Oh, no.

00:28:05The Great One is ten times as big.

00:28:07Uh, what was that?

00:28:16The Great One.

00:28:18Oh, boy.

00:28:20Don't worry.

00:28:21We'll take care of the Great One just like we took care of this guy.

00:28:24That's not going to be so easy without ammunition.

00:28:27And, boys, we're fresh out.

00:28:30You failed, proving once and for all you're frauds, not gods, but mere men.

00:28:50Not so fast, Queenie.

00:28:51Aren't you forgetting something?

00:28:53What?

00:28:54The first part of the prophecy.

00:28:55We produce food in the middle of a famine.

00:28:58They're right, Morgana.

00:28:59The beast of armor will feed the entire village for a week.

00:29:02Nevertheless, I am the lawgiver, and I say that these men can bring only harm to the village.

00:29:07They must all die.

00:29:09No!

00:29:10You dare challenge your queen?

00:29:13April is right.

00:29:14These men have done us no evil.

00:29:16Only helped us in our struggle to survive.

00:29:18My command will still be carried out immediately.

00:29:22No!

00:29:23As written in the Sacred Scroll, I challenge thee to Oma Pa.

00:29:31Oma Pa Pa?

00:29:33Oma Pa.

00:29:34I've heard of it, John.

00:29:35The Druids used it to oppose the laws of their leaders.

00:29:37Very well, then.

00:29:39As it is written, so shall it be.

00:29:42We fight this night in the circle of power.

00:29:45If you win, the men will be spared.

00:29:47But if you lose, you, your traitorous sisters, and these pitiful warriors will all suffer a fiery death in the pit.

00:29:55Well, your majesty, since this is going to happen...

00:30:02What's wrong with him?

00:30:05He's just upset because the transmitter was destroyed.

00:30:07Oh, that's a real shame.

00:30:08It looks like we're stuck on this island with a bunch of beautiful women for the rest of our lives.

00:30:12What about the great ones, stuck with him?

00:30:14And it's not going to be easy killing him with no ammo.

00:30:17He's right, John.

00:30:18I mean, what's going to happen to us once the girls find out the truth?

00:30:22I'll tell you what's going to happen.

00:30:23We're going to end up at the bottom of that pit everyone's been talking about.

00:30:27That's why our first order of business is to end this famine.

00:30:30Yeah, but how are we going to do that?

00:30:32You mean, how are you going to do that?

00:30:34Me? Why me?

00:30:36They don't call you weighing the brain for nothing.

00:30:53You mean to tell me that no fruit-bearing plants will grow here on the island?

00:31:08Oh, yes.

00:31:09We have tried and succeeded.

00:31:11Only the food is always devoured before we can harvest it.

00:31:15By the great one?

00:31:16No, by the small ones.

00:31:19The small ones?

00:31:20Hmm?

00:31:24Oh, gross.

00:31:30Come on.

00:31:32I got an idea.

00:31:32What are you doing?

00:31:46Making a pesticide.

00:31:50Pesticide?

00:31:51Yeah, it's sort of like a potion that will help to protect your harvest.

00:31:59Impossible.

00:32:01Magic is useless against the small ones.

00:32:03This isn't magic.

00:32:05This is chemistry.

00:32:06What is chemistry?

00:32:13Here, I'll show you.

00:32:14All right.

00:32:15I'm taking a little iodine.

00:32:17Okay?

00:32:18I mix this with mosquito repellent.

00:32:22Mm-hmm.

00:32:26Then, I dilute it with water.

00:32:30And finally, I add my secret ingredient.

00:32:34It smells awful.

00:32:39What is it?

00:32:40Dinosaur urine?

00:32:43No.

00:32:44Schemer's aftershave.

00:32:47Will it really keep the small ones away from our crops?

00:32:51I don't see why not.

00:32:53It keeps the women away from Schemer.

00:32:54April, what's your favorite food?

00:33:11Mm, I love pterodactyl.

00:33:13Why?

00:33:14Because I was thinking maybe we could go out for dinner tonight.

00:33:17But we eat out every night.

00:33:19I don't mean outside.

00:33:21I mean out on a date.

00:33:23What is a date?

00:33:26It's when two people want to be alone together.

00:33:29But how can we be alone and together at the same time?

00:33:33I mean, we'll be by ourselves.

00:33:36For what reason?

00:33:38So we can get to know each other.

00:33:41Oh, so you can learn my turn-ons and turn-offs?

00:33:46Who taught you those words?

00:33:49I have been studying your sacred scroll.

00:33:52What do you think of it?

00:33:53Oh, it is very wise.

00:33:54But I do not understand one thing.

00:33:57What is a kiss?

00:34:03I'll show you tonight.

00:34:13Tell me why we're doing this again.

00:34:15Because pterodactyl is April's favorite food.

00:34:20It doesn't slither, does it?

00:34:21No, it flies.

00:34:24And there it is.

00:34:27Oh, that thing has scales.

00:34:30I'm out of here.

00:34:32All right, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.

00:34:38Turbo, you have got to get over this fear of yours.

00:34:40If you won't do it for yourself, do it for June.

00:34:42I don't want to impress June.

00:34:44Creepy crawly things don't scare me half as much as she does.

00:34:47I know she's kind of tough,

00:34:48but it's not what I'm talking about, schema.

00:34:51What are you talking about?

00:34:53I don't exactly have a lot of experience with girls.

00:34:57You mean you're still Cherry?

00:35:07Sorry, I just figured a big, strong guy like you...

00:35:10Girls take one look at me and they get scared.

00:35:13I don't blame them, though.

00:35:14I don't want to go out with a Neanderthal like me.

00:35:17A cavewoman's a pretty safe bet.

00:35:20Besides, I think June is kind of the old-fashioned type.

00:35:22I don't think sloping foreheads or knuckles that drag on the ground

00:35:25are a problem for her.

00:35:26What if I'm bad?

00:35:30Turbo, there aren't any other men on this island.

00:35:33Chances are she won't know the difference.

00:35:35Come on.

00:35:36Maybe we can go get another one.

00:35:56I think I saw one on the hill over here.

00:35:58Come on, let's go.

00:36:15Hey, where's my aftershave?

00:36:17Oh, sorry, John.

00:36:18I needed it to make a pesticide.

00:36:20It better work.

00:36:21We're almost out of dinosaur meat.

00:36:22And whose fault is that?

00:36:26Schemer, tell the captain to stop picking on me.

00:36:28Look, I don't have time for this.

00:36:30Well, actually, you do.

00:36:32I did some tests on the water around here.

00:36:35Just give me the condensed version.

00:36:37Well, the water's volcanic origin

00:36:39gives it amazing regenerative powers.

00:36:42Belonged intake may actually make the body younger

00:36:44and healthier forever.

00:36:46That explains your quick healing

00:36:47and why these dinosaurs are still roaming the island.

00:36:50Yeah, nobody bothered to tell them

00:36:52they're extinct.

00:36:53Yeah, well, it also means

00:36:55these women are a lot older than we think.

00:36:57I mean, they could be one, two,

00:36:59even 3,000 years old.

00:37:00Hey, I've always had a thing for older women.

00:37:02So if you gentlemen will excuse me,

00:37:04I've got a date with the hottest prehistoric babe

00:37:06I've ever met.

00:37:17How's your pterodactyl?

00:37:18I caught it myself.

00:37:20Oh, how brave.

00:37:22I'm not sure.

00:37:27I taste a little like turtle.

00:37:30You know, this place has really gone downhill

00:37:32since the new chef took over.

00:37:35I like turtle.

00:37:37But you, you are not eating.

00:37:39Me?

00:37:40I had a late lunch.

00:37:41But aren't you still hungry?

00:37:48Not really.

00:37:49Well, then why did you try to press your lips to mine?

00:37:53You asked me to show you what a kiss was.

00:37:55You'll like it.

00:37:56I promise.

00:37:57Did the earth move?

00:38:08It did for me.

00:38:12Dear gods!

00:38:13The great one!

00:38:14Hey, I haven't even taken it out yet.

00:38:20Oh, that great one!

00:38:24This way!

00:38:24Here, we can hide in here!

00:38:49That ought to hold him.

00:39:09Would have kicked his ass.

00:39:27You know, this would make a great condo.

00:39:33We could settle down.

00:39:34No, no.

00:39:35This is a terrible place.

00:39:37We must go no further.

00:39:38Why's that?

00:39:39Got plenty of room?

00:39:40Hot and cold running slime?

00:39:42Look at this.

00:39:47Just my luck.

00:39:50Gold.

00:39:51Gold.

00:39:52Gold.

00:39:53Gold.

00:39:54Gold.

00:39:55Gold.

00:39:56Gold.

00:40:00It is not safe to go on.

00:40:01We must turn back.

00:40:02Don't wet yourself, sweetheart.

00:40:04I just need a couple more gold nuggets to make the down payment on that little Malibu

00:40:07beach house I've had my eye on.

00:40:09But the beast of the cave.

00:40:11Surely it will hear us.

00:40:12Beast?

00:40:13You didn't say anything about a beast.

00:40:16You wouldn't let me.

00:40:18What does he look like?

00:40:22Sounds like two words.

00:40:25Big.

00:40:25Hideous.

00:40:29Behind me.

00:40:35EHH!

00:40:36HEY!

00:40:37HiNEUIS!

00:40:38EHH!

00:40:39ENGLANDS AND CLEAN

00:40:40HiNEUR!

00:40:42Come on!

00:41:12Come with me.

00:41:42Go, go, kneel, kneel.

00:42:00Ah, you are the one called captain, are you not?

00:42:08What the hell is going on here?

00:42:10Our culture has an ancient proverb that says my enemy's enemy is my friend.

00:42:15I have been observing you, I believe you to be such a person.

00:42:19Lady, that's what I've been trying to tell you since we got stranded here.

00:42:22And if I could provide you with the way off the island, you would take the others with you, would you not?

00:42:28You can count on it.

00:42:30Many moons ago, a great silver bird crashed into the ocean.

00:42:35A crate filled with strange objects washed ashore.

00:42:38What kind of objects?

00:42:40Objects I've never seen before.

00:42:44But one of them carried voices from far away.

00:42:47You have a transmitter?

00:42:50The voices I heard spoke in a language unlike yours or ours.

00:42:54Where is this crate?

00:42:56This map will guide you to where it is buried.

00:43:00Have you girls got any shovels to go with those spears?

00:43:06I guess he took a powder.

00:43:07It is safe.

00:43:08I wonder what made him so mad.

00:43:21I think I know.

00:43:22It is safe.

00:43:23I wonder what made him so mad.

00:43:24I think I know.

00:43:26It is safe.

00:43:27It is safe.

00:43:28It is safe.

00:43:29It is safe.

00:43:30It is safe.

00:43:31I wonder what made him so mad.

00:43:33I think I know.

00:43:35I am not sure what made him so mad.

00:43:51I am not sure what made him so mad.

00:43:56Wow, look at the size of that egg.

00:43:58It must have gotten too close to her nest.

00:44:01Her? You mean the great one's a girl?

00:44:03Let us go. We must not be here when she comes back.

00:44:06Wait a minute. What about that egg?

00:44:07What about it?

00:44:09It'd make one hell of a Denver omelet.

00:44:20Wayne, look!

00:44:22We are safe from starvation!

00:44:24The food has grown in great abundance.

00:44:27Wow! It's better than all you can eat night at Sizzler.

00:44:30It's truly a miracle.

00:44:31But how could it have grown so fast?

00:44:33There's something in that water.

00:44:35Who cares? Let's eat!

00:44:37Please eat!

00:44:54Peter and you are afraid of trolls.

00:44:56The world and you are the only one who made it to you.

00:44:57Let's eat!

00:45:00You're afraid of people.

00:45:01You're listening.

00:45:02It's better than you're thinking about it.

00:45:03I'm going to eat with有人.

00:45:03Let's go.

00:45:05Bye-bye.

00:45:06Bye-bye.

00:45:07Bye-bye.

00:45:12Bye-bye.

00:45:13Bye-bye.

00:45:14Bye-bye.

00:45:15Bye-bye.

00:45:16Bye-bye.

00:45:17Bye-bye.

00:45:18Bye-bye.

00:45:19Bye-bye.

00:45:20Bye-bye.

00:45:21Bye-bye.

00:45:22Wait, your magic worked.

00:45:29May, I told you, it's not magic, it's chemistry.

00:45:32It must be very powerful.

00:45:34It is.

00:45:35But there's another kind of chemistry that's even more powerful.

00:45:38It's the chemistry between two people.

00:45:41I do not understand.

00:45:44Well, sometimes when two people meet, they have this effect on each other.

00:45:47What kind of effect?

00:45:49Well, for instance, their hearts be faster.

00:45:53Will you show me?

00:45:55I'd love to.

00:46:02Is this chemistry?

00:46:05No, this is magic.

00:46:19Oh, my God.

00:46:49I threw this really good, right?

00:46:50Oh, just for me.

00:46:52The red one, green one.

00:46:54I'm telling you guys, this cave we found is crawling with gold.

00:46:58Yeah, and according to April, it's also crawling with monsters.

00:47:01No big deal.

00:47:01I had him eating spear right out of my hand.

00:47:04You can have your gold.

00:47:05This is the life for me.

00:47:07I hear you.

00:47:08You will come with us.

00:47:09The queen awaits you in her throne room.

00:47:11Again?

00:47:11What now?

00:47:12I'm booked till four.

00:47:14Come.

00:47:14It has come to my attention that the three of you have feelings for these men.

00:47:33It is true, oh, queen.

00:47:35Is that why you brought us here?

00:47:37We would like to ask you for your blessing.

00:47:39My blessing?

00:47:41April and I want to get married.

00:47:43But May and I just thought we'd live together first.

00:47:46And June and I, we just want to go steady.

00:47:49What you ask is not possible.

00:47:53Why not?

00:47:54These girls are the oldest in the village.

00:47:56They're next in line.

00:47:58For the throne?

00:47:59For the altar.

00:48:00That's what we're talking about.

00:48:01Getting a little cave of our own, tar pit in the backyard, having a couple of chrome

00:48:04magnets, becoming fossils together.

00:48:07Not the altar of marriage, you fool.

00:48:10The altar of sacrifice.

00:48:13Sacrifice?

00:48:13Every time the sun crosses the sea and reaches its zenith, we must sacrifice a virgin to the

00:48:19Great One.

00:48:20Wait a minute.

00:48:20You mean you actually feed your people to that thing?

00:48:23If I don't, the beast will come to the village to satisfy its hunger.

00:48:27And then we would all die.

00:48:28Queen Morgana, do you really think the Great One cares whether or not it eats a virgin?

00:48:33It never bothered me before.

00:48:36It didn't.

00:48:37It is our way, as is dictated by the Sacred Scroll.

00:48:41But that's just ancient superstition.

00:48:45It's the same superstition that has proclaimed you as gods.

00:48:49Well, then again, a Sacred Scroll is a Sacred Scroll.

00:48:53Only when you have proven yourselves worthy will I give you my blessing.

00:48:57How do we do that?

00:48:59Oh, it's really quite simple.

00:49:01All you have to do is destroy the Great One.

00:49:04Just bring me his head, and then you can all live happily ever after.

00:49:11Ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:49:13Ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:49:20Destroy the Great One?

00:49:21While we're at it, why don't we melt the Wicked Witch of the West?

00:49:23Well, whatever we do, we better do it fast.

00:49:26I think she was talking about the Spring Equinox, which is only three days away.

00:49:30So now what do we do?

00:49:32I don't know about you guys, but I've already taken April out of the competition.

00:49:35What do you mean?

00:49:36Hey, every schoolboy knows April comes before May or June.

00:49:40Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

00:49:41Well, I hate to admit it, but...

00:49:44Oh, not you too.

00:49:45Sorry, big guy.

00:49:46It was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

00:49:48Oh, so now you're saying it's up to me.

00:49:51Well, it's a big no-go.

00:49:52I'm not doing nothing till I'm ready.

00:49:55But I'm telling you this.

00:49:56I'm tired of running scared on this island from some big overgrown lizard.

00:50:01I say it's time I stopped cowering.

00:50:03Kick some monster ass!

00:50:08You guys with me?

00:50:09Hey, I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

00:50:11But where are we gonna get the firepower?

00:50:12Right here, boys.

00:50:18Now let's snap, too.

00:50:20We got bigger fish to fry.

00:50:21Who wants these?

00:50:31I have provided you with the weapons you have requested.

00:50:59And now it is up to you.

00:51:00If you do not return within two days,

00:51:03we will have no choice but to sacrifice one of our own to the Great One.

00:51:07Don't worry, man.

00:51:09We'll be back.

00:51:11I wish you luck, Captain.

00:51:21Looks like Briggs is getting engaged.

00:51:28Even Briggs can get laid on this island.

00:51:30Let's move it out.

00:51:42So these missionaries are the ones that taught you to speak English?

00:51:45Why, yes.

00:51:45That's it, exactly.

00:51:46Hey, now what?

00:51:48Quiet.

00:51:48Look at that.

00:51:49Is it harmless like the one we saw before?

00:51:58Yes, it's the Thunder Beast.

00:52:00Harmless.

00:52:01Hmm.

00:52:01Yeah, harmless.

00:52:04So, Schemer, you've seen this great one.

00:52:06What was it like?

00:52:08Well, you remember that transvestite hooker that Turbo tried to pick up on in the Philippines?

00:52:11Hey, hey, hey, hey.

00:52:14Well, it was as ugly as that, but bigger and pissed off.

00:52:17So where does this beauty make its home?

00:52:19It lives near the big cave.

00:52:21The one with the gold in it?

00:52:23Same.

00:52:25Lead on.

00:52:26The two with the gold in it?

00:52:38Well, that's all having to put in it.

00:52:42I don't know.

00:53:12Here's where it gets interesting.

00:53:17Captain, will you look at that?

00:53:19My God.

00:53:20Think of the cholesterol.

00:53:27Let's take cover in the cave.

00:53:32Let's not make a meal out of that private.

00:53:42You will not find the great one in there.

00:53:53She's much too big.

00:53:55This looks like a good place to set up camp till it comes back.

00:53:58Turbo, see if you can find some firewood.

00:54:00Yes, Captain.

00:54:01The rest of you take cover in the cave.

00:54:05You never know when Mom will come home.

00:54:08She's probably just out picking up a few things for dinner.

00:54:11I'll take first watch.

00:54:12Pretty good, huh, Captain?

00:54:27Keep it going, Private.

00:54:29It's gonna be dark soon.

00:54:31And I think staying in here is gonna be our best bet.

00:54:34This will keep the riffraff out.

00:54:36Those big lizards still give me the shakes.

00:54:38You think that's something?

00:54:40There was this bimbo actress I was dating back in L.A.

00:54:42What a piece.

00:54:44Almost married her, too.

00:54:46Then I got a look at her mother.

00:54:48Holy mackerel, what a puss on her.

00:54:51I'd rather look at the great one any day.

00:54:53They say if you want to know what a girl's gonna look like after she's married,

00:54:56look at her mother.

00:54:58Is that true, Schemer?

00:54:59That's what I heard.

00:55:02Say, June,

00:55:04was your mother pretty?

00:55:05I bet she was.

00:55:10Come.

00:55:11Let us go for a walk.

00:55:15Private,

00:55:16let's not walk too far from the light.

00:55:18Yes, sir.

00:55:19Yes, sir.

00:55:35What are you looking at?

00:55:51The moon.

00:55:53It is crossing over the ocean.

00:55:55Yeah.

00:55:59You know,

00:56:00if you do not kill the great one,

00:56:02I will be its next sacrifice.

00:56:04Oh, you don't have to.

00:56:07There's, um,

00:56:08another way.

00:56:10Oh, no.

00:56:11I could never dishonor my heritage by doing what my sister...

00:56:14You'd rather give yourself to the great one than to me.

00:56:18It is true.

00:56:20I have never known a man before.

00:56:22Neither have I.

00:56:24Well, there was that one time in Manila...

00:56:25What?

00:56:26I mean,

00:56:26I've never known a girl before.

00:56:28I mean,

00:56:29I've known girls,

00:56:30but I've never known girls.

00:56:33You know?

00:56:35Then you were like me.

00:56:38Yeah.

00:56:40Scared.

00:56:40And then she chased you?

00:57:11And you ran into...

00:57:13Wait, wait, wait.

00:57:13Skip over that part.

00:57:15How's it going?

00:57:16Pretty spooky, Cap.

00:57:17These stones and bones know everything.

00:57:20She's got them telling my whole life story.

00:57:22You think that's suitable for mixed company?

00:57:25Maybe I better change the subject, huh?

00:57:28Very interesting, schemer.

00:57:30But I think it's your turn to stand guard duty.

00:57:32Now go find Turbo and bring him back if you can.

00:57:35There's certainly no future in that.

00:57:37You know,

00:57:43trouble with being a regular army?

00:57:45Since you're always sticking your neck out

00:57:46while the girls are sitting comfy back at home.

00:57:50I'll bet they're kicking back right now

00:57:52with a big bowl of strawberries.

00:57:54I'll bet they're going to be a big bowl of strawberries.

00:58:24Well,

00:58:33it looks like a no-show.

00:58:37Well, it looks like a no-show.

00:58:52She's probably out on a bender.

00:58:53She might not even come back.

00:58:55She will come back.

00:58:56She's the mother.

00:58:57I could say that again.

00:59:00There must be something we can do to bring her around.

00:59:03Any ideas, Kincaid?

00:59:04Yeah, brain.

00:59:05Think of something.

00:59:06Well, I have an idea that might work, but it's a little risky.

00:59:10Risky physically or risky financially?

00:59:14What do you got in mind, Kincaid?

00:59:16Here.

00:59:17I'll diagram it out for you.

00:59:36I hope this works.

00:59:38Don't worry, it will.

00:59:44Quiet.

00:59:45I think I hear something.

00:59:45Come on, let's move.

01:00:10I think I hear something.

01:00:16Help! Help! Help!

01:00:46Die, you dinosaur dick!

01:00:56One of these days, ass!

01:01:01Oh, I could kiss her!

01:01:10Damn it, you did it!

01:01:11I did it?

01:01:12You did it!

01:01:13Come on, let's not make a meal out of this thing. We've got a village to feed.

01:01:34And so, by my authority as queen of this island, I now pronounce you caveman and wife.

01:01:40You may kiss the princess.

01:01:44Well, schemer, I guess you won't have to face that trial I was taking you back to.

01:01:51I still got the old ball and chain, if you know what I mean.

01:01:53I guess that's punishment enough.

01:01:55I'm not.

01:02:05Where have you been?

01:02:06We had some celebrating of our own to do.

01:02:08I was a bad boy.

01:02:09April, is polygamy legal on this island?

01:02:18Captain, I just wanted to tell you how brave I thought you were in battle.

01:02:21Well, thank you very much, your majesty.

01:02:22Well, thank you very much, your majesty.

01:02:23I've never seen a warrior with such strength.

01:02:27It's too bad you wish to leave us.

01:02:29It is?

01:02:30This tribe could you as a king.

01:02:31Well, since you put it that way.

01:02:33Goodbye!

01:02:34Goodbye!

01:02:35Goodbye!

01:02:36Goodbye!

01:02:37Goodbye!

01:02:38Goodbye!

01:02:39Goodbye!

01:02:40Goodbye!

01:02:41Goodbye!

01:02:42Goodbye!

01:02:43Goodbye!

01:02:44Goodbye!

01:02:45Goodbye!

01:02:46Goodbye!

01:02:47Goodbye!

01:02:48Goodbye!

01:02:49Goodbye!

01:02:50Goodbye!

01:02:51Goodbye!

01:02:52Goodbye!

01:02:53Goodbye!

01:02:54Goodbye!

01:02:55Goodbye!

01:02:56Goodbye!

01:02:57Goodbye!

01:02:58Goodbye!

01:02:59Goodbye!

01:03:00Goodbye!

01:03:01Goodbye!

01:03:02Goodbye!

01:03:03Goodbye!

01:03:04Goodbye!

01:03:05Goodbye!

01:03:06Goodbye!

01:03:07Goodbye!

01:03:08Goodbye!

01:03:09Goodbye!

01:03:10Goodbye!

01:03:11Goodbye!

01:03:12Goodbye!

01:03:13Goodbye!

01:03:14Goodbye!

Category

Transcript

Recommended