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Chris tombe éperdument amoureux d'Allison, une femme juive, et veut même l'épouser. Il demande à son ami de l'aider à devenir plus juif.
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Original Title : Finding Mrs Right
Catégorie : Film en Français Complet en VF, VOSTFR, Comédie, Romance, Humour, Emotion, Film Entier
© 2025 - Tous Droits Réservés
🔥 Les nouveautés ici ➤ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpylctLnP9NVC0Lv8HD34xaG1GnDQBTZq
#FilmComplet #BoxofficeNouveautés #FilmsMULTI
💛 Snapchat ➤ https://www.snapchat.com/p/1684933092515270
Original Title : Finding Mrs Right
Catégorie : Film en Français Complet en VF, VOSTFR, Comédie, Romance, Humour, Emotion, Film Entier
© 2025 - Tous Droits Réservés
Catégorie
🎥
Court métrageTranscription
00:44:52Le bar mitzvah.
00:44:53Oi.
00:44:54This is our newest member.
00:44:55I was telling you about Avi.
00:44:56Hi.
00:44:57I'm Avi Rosenberg.
00:44:58Welcome to Beth Jacob, Avi.
00:44:59Thank you, Rabbi.
00:45:00Has Marcy warned you about our little club?
00:45:02Oh, no.
00:45:03Uh, club?
00:45:0418 years ago, a boy named Adam Lipschitz had a panic attack during his bar mitzvah,
00:45:09dropped his trousers, and exposed himself to the congregation.
00:45:14That's messed up.
00:45:15Oh, it is messed up, Avi.
00:45:16What's even more messed up is that to this day, Adam's lewd act has become the rite of
00:45:21passage for every boy who's had his bar mitzvah at our temple.
00:45:24In fact, there hasn't been a bar mitzvah boy since 1993 who hasn't shown his to the entire
00:45:31congregation.
00:45:32I've tried everything.
00:45:33They won't stop.
00:45:34I've seen the penises of 459 young boys.
00:45:38So unless you're really into schlongs, Avi, this ain't the temple for you.
00:45:42He gets excited.
00:45:45Avi, Shlomi and I are so embarrassed that on your very first Saturday morning service with
00:45:51you had to see.
00:45:53Genitals.
00:45:54And we sincerely hope that the fact that our temple has a club won't make you consider
00:45:59joining elsewhere.
00:46:00Not at all.
00:46:01Not at all.
00:46:02What was the name of the young man who started it all?
00:46:04Adam Lipschitz?
00:46:05Lipschitz.
00:46:06I hope I don't run into him, huh?
00:46:08Yes, don't we all.
00:46:09I've seen enough.
00:46:10What a freak.
00:46:11Excuse me, Rabbi.
00:46:12Would you like some fish?
00:46:13Oh, yes.
00:46:14Thank you, uh, Hymen.
00:46:21Thank you.
00:46:22Oi.
00:46:23Wow.
00:46:24I have to say our people have invented a lot of lousy food, but gefilte fish might be
00:46:29the worst.
00:46:31My advice is to get it over with as quickly as possible.
00:46:37Two bites.
00:46:38Wham.
00:46:39Bam.
00:46:40Done.
00:46:41Ah.
00:46:42Shlomi, honey, are you all right?
00:46:46Go away!
00:46:47Damn it, Shlomo.
00:46:48I am coming in now.
00:46:49No, you don't want to see this.
00:46:50It'll change you.
00:46:51It changed me.
00:46:52I'm shitting relatives.
00:46:53Oh, Marcy.
00:46:54I hate to do this to you, Cupcake, but I think I'm gonna have to bow out of the tournament.
00:46:58No.
00:46:59No, no, no, no, no, Shlomo.
00:47:00You are not doing any such thing.
00:47:01Now, this is the finals.
00:47:02If we have to take some sort of slop bucket, then so be it.
00:47:03I'm sorry, Lollipop.
00:47:04But we'll just have to wait another year to beat those damn fleisters.
00:47:06Darn it.
00:47:07What tournament?
00:47:08What tournament?
00:47:09What tournament?
00:47:10What tournament?
00:47:11I'm sorry.
00:47:12I'm sorry, Lollipop.
00:47:13But we'll just have to wait another year to beat those damn fleisters.
00:47:16Darn it.
00:47:17What tournament?
00:47:19What tournament?
00:47:20It is the NBLA Regionals.
00:47:23We are in the finals.
00:47:24It starts in three hours.
00:47:25Oh.
00:47:26But, well, I guess that I won't be going this year.
00:47:30I play bridge.
00:47:32Dear God, all I do is help you.
00:47:35I want to thank all of you for taking part in what is the world's greatest sporting event,
00:47:45Duplicate Bridge.
00:47:47Of course.
00:47:48Stand up.
00:47:49Feel the sun.
00:47:50You know your time has come.
00:47:53All or not.
00:47:54It's time to feel alive.
00:47:56Oh.
00:47:57Oh.
00:47:58Oh.
00:47:59Oh.
00:48:00Oh.
00:48:01Oh.
00:48:02Oh.
00:48:03Oh.
00:48:04Oh.
00:48:05You've made it.
00:48:06Oh.
00:48:07Oh.
00:48:08Oh.
00:48:09Oh.
00:48:10Oh.
00:48:11Oh.
00:48:12Oh.
00:48:13Oh.
00:48:14Oh.
00:48:15Oh.
00:48:16Oh.
00:48:18C'est parti !
00:48:48C'est parti !
00:49:18C'est parti !
00:49:48C'est parti !
00:49:49C'est parti !
00:49:50C'est parti !
00:49:51C'est parti !
00:49:52C'est parti !
00:49:53C'est parti !
00:49:54C'est parti !
00:49:55C'est parti !
00:49:56C'est parti !
00:49:57C'est parti !
00:49:58C'est parti !
00:49:59C'est parti !
00:50:00C'est parti !
00:50:01C'est parti !
00:50:02C'est parti !
00:50:03C'est parti !
00:50:04C'est parti !
00:50:05C'est parti !
00:50:06C'est parti !
00:50:07C'est parti !
00:50:08C'est parti !
00:50:09C'est parti !
00:50:10C'est parti !
00:50:11C'est parti !
00:50:12C'est parti !
00:50:13C'est parti !
00:50:14C'est parti !
00:50:15C'est parti !
00:50:16C'est parti !
00:50:17C'est parti !
00:50:18C'est parti !
00:50:19C'est parti !
00:50:20C'est parti !
00:50:21C'est parti !
00:50:22C'est parti !
00:50:23C'est parti !
00:50:24C'est parti !
00:50:25C'est parti !
00:50:26C'est parti !
00:50:27C'est parti !
00:50:28C'est parti !
00:50:29C'est parti !
00:50:30C'est parti !
00:50:31C'est parti !
00:50:32C'est parti !
00:50:33C'est parti !
00:50:34C'est parti !
00:50:35C'est parti !
00:50:36C'est parti !
00:50:37C'est parti !
00:50:38C'est parti !
00:50:39C'est parti !
00:50:40C'est parti !
00:50:41C'est parti !
00:50:42C'est parti !
00:50:43C'est parti !
00:50:44C'est parti !
00:50:45C'est parti !
00:50:46C'est parti !
00:50:47Il est un pire.
00:50:49Il est un pire, non ?
00:50:51Il est un pire.
00:50:53Il est clair que il est stalking me ?
00:50:55Oh, non.
00:50:57Il est un docteur.
00:50:59Il n'est pas comme si il n'y a pas de temps à stalk.
00:51:01Non, ça c'est un certain type de coincidence.
00:51:03C'est un peu...
00:51:05C'est un peu...
00:51:07C'est un peu...
00:51:09Je ne pense pas que c'est une coincidence.
00:51:13Je pense que ça peut être fate.
00:51:16C'est un peu...
00:51:18...trying to get you two together.
00:51:20Wow.
00:51:21I have never heard you like this.
00:51:22All right.
00:51:23Alison, darling, listen to me.
00:51:24You are 27 years old.
00:51:26And have I ever tried to set you up with anyone?
00:51:29No.
00:51:30And why is that?
00:51:31Because I have never felt that anyone was good enough for you.
00:51:35Until now.
00:51:37Mm-mm.
00:51:46What are you doing?
00:51:47What?
00:51:48I told you to let me get to the altar.
00:51:50Look at me for 15 seconds.
00:51:52Let the tension build.
00:51:53And then slowly pull my veil back.
00:51:55And where is the rabbi?
00:51:56Can somebody get him off the shitter?
00:51:58Okay, fine, whatever.
00:51:59Let's just keep going.
00:52:00No, we can't keep going.
00:52:01We have to keep doing it till we get it right.
00:52:03Adam, your timing was way off.
00:52:04I clocked you pulling back the veil after four seconds.
00:52:06Yeah.
00:52:07That's the least of our problems.
00:52:08You didn't even have tears in your eyes when you lifted up the veil.
00:52:10It's a rehearsal.
00:52:11Who cares if it's a rehearsal?
00:52:13Don't you love my daughter so much that you tear up every time you see her?
00:52:16I can't believe you're being so insensitive.
00:52:17Don't you know that she is still recovering from her surgery?
00:52:21Oh, by the way, Hannah has your new vag.
00:52:23Jill, stop talking about Hannah's vagina.
00:52:26Less ugly?
00:52:27Dennis!
00:52:28Dad!
00:52:29What?
00:52:30Pokey-poo, the Daniels are right.
00:52:31You really need to take this a little bit more seriously
00:52:33because we only have three more rehearsals left till the wedding.
00:52:36Megan, sweetie, your pedal throngs got a little bit sloppy and unfocused.
00:52:40Remember, it's three pedals per step.
00:52:43Screw it up again and you're both out.
00:52:47Okay, so let's take it from the poems.
00:52:49What?
00:52:50The poems?
00:52:51Yes.
00:52:52Oh, honey, you want to do that now?
00:52:53I thought that was going to be a surprise for the wedding day.
00:52:55It's going to be a surprise for the guests,
00:52:57but I need to see how you perform it so I can give you notes.
00:52:59Okay.
00:53:02Hannah.
00:53:04Yes?
00:53:05The day I met you, it was like a dream,
00:53:08even more thrilling than my father's new embroidery machine.
00:53:11Fine.
00:53:12Fine.
00:53:13My feelings towards you are so extreme
00:53:15that sometimes when I'm with you, I just...
00:53:18I just want to...
00:53:20scream.
00:53:21What grade is he in?
00:53:22The thought of being without you words can't explain.
00:53:26If you only knew what was going on inside my brain...
00:53:32Brain. Brain.
00:53:33Brain.
00:53:34I can't believe I'm about to spend the rest of my years with you.
00:53:38Dad.
00:53:40And in just a few minutes...
00:53:42I'm going to say the words...
00:53:45I...
00:53:46I...
00:53:49I...
00:53:51I'm gonna say the words I...
00:53:55What are you doing?
00:53:57What are you doing?
00:53:58I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:00What?
00:54:01Again?
00:54:02I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:03Oh, God.
00:54:04Finally, he says something true.
00:54:05What?
00:54:06I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:07I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:09I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:11I'm not ready to be a man.
00:54:12Adam!
00:54:14Adam!
00:54:15This is why I wanted to rehearse!
00:54:16What the fuck?
00:54:19You're kidding, right?
00:54:20No, no.
00:54:21Because, um...
00:54:23Sex, you know, has a way of complicating things.
00:54:25And I want to get to know you.
00:54:27I want to get to know the real you.
00:54:29I can't believe you're saying this.
00:54:30I've never met a guy who wanted to wait.
00:54:32So, um, I saw your commercial.
00:54:34So I went to the palace, and we've been hanging out ever since.
00:54:37He never said a word to us about this.
00:54:39God forbid he should tell us anything.
00:54:41Have you heard from him at all in the last week?
00:54:43No, no, I've been calling him, too.
00:54:44He hasn't returned any of my calls.
00:54:46What if he was murdered by the homeless meth heads?
00:54:49What if he was blown by a vampire?
00:54:51Did he say anything about Hannah, about the wedding?
00:54:53No, nothing.
00:54:54Daddy!
00:54:55You know what?
00:54:56He probably just got cold feet.
00:54:57I disappeared for six months before my wedding.
00:54:59Right, honey?
00:55:00Uh, that was me.
00:55:01Oh, that's right.
00:55:02How are you a doctor?
00:55:04Oh, God!
00:55:05He's gone forever, and I'm never gonna have a baby!
00:55:10Oh, God!
00:55:13I'm never gonna have a grandchild!
00:55:17Oh, God!
00:55:19No!
00:55:20Goddammit!
00:55:21Do something, Bruce!
00:55:23Oh, no!
00:55:26Oh, no!
00:55:28Oh, no!
00:55:29No!
00:55:30Hello!
00:55:31Oh, no!
00:55:32Oh, no!
00:55:33Oh, no!
00:55:35Oh, no!
00:55:37Oh, no!
00:55:38Oh, no!
00:55:39Oh, no!
00:55:40Oh, no!
00:55:41Oh, no!
00:55:42Oh, no!
00:55:43Oh, no!
00:55:44Oh, no!
00:55:45Oh, no!
00:55:46Oh, no!
00:55:47Oh, no!
00:55:49Now, the doctors at the hospital referred you to Serenity Hills because they felt that Adam required a more intense, hands-on environment for his condition.
00:55:58C'est un condition.
00:55:59C'est un condition?
00:56:00Oh, Adam est souffrant de cause de post-traumatic stress disorder.
00:56:04Oh...
00:56:05What the...
00:56:06I didn't do it.
00:56:07I just don't understand what could have caused all this.
00:56:09Not again.
00:56:10And your fault.
00:56:12Honey, you can still change your mind.
00:56:18What the...
00:56:19Seems fine to me.
00:56:21Get him!
00:56:22Run, get him!
00:56:24Get back here!
00:56:25In a case like Adams, who has a long history of panic attacks,
00:56:29it's not uncommon that he would reach what we refer to as the ha,
00:56:34or the hyper-aroused state.
00:56:39What we are watching are nuts.
00:56:41Numbness.
00:56:42Numbing.
00:56:43Sorry, sorry.
00:56:44Up now.
00:56:45Over the next 21 days...
00:56:4621 days?
00:56:47No, no, no.
00:56:48That is July 2nd.
00:56:49July 2nd is my wedding.
00:56:50Well, you gotta get a matter quicker than that.
00:56:51I got 200 grand in deposits.
00:56:53Do you have, like, an express service?
00:56:54Express service?
00:56:55This is our only son you're talking about!
00:56:57Whoa!
00:56:58We're not putting him in some express service!
00:56:59Whoa!
00:57:00Whoa!
00:57:01Just relax.
00:57:02Breathe.
00:57:03We need 21 days, and if you cannot give us that,
00:57:06then get him out of here!
00:57:08Oh!
00:57:09We can go swimming.
00:57:10I don't know.
00:57:11It's gonna be okay.
00:57:12Look, he looks better on the ladder.
00:57:14Is just me, or does that dolphin look like him?
00:57:17You never did that with me!
00:57:18Ever!
00:57:19You never did that with me!
00:57:20Ever!
00:57:21Give him time!
00:57:22Give him time!
00:57:23It is a nightmare!
00:57:24You, Adam!
00:57:25You!
00:57:26You!
00:57:27Johnny Williams, come on down!
00:57:32Oh, gosh.
00:57:33They've seen this since I was a kid.
00:57:36Wow.
00:57:37It's amazing they can still find humans who will actually appear in this show.
00:57:42I'm Salah Khan.
00:57:43I've been assigned to be your primary counsellor.
00:57:45I've been assigned to be your primary counsellor.
00:57:49Look.
00:57:50If you don't want to talk, it's no problem.
00:57:52You don't have to talk.
00:57:53You know, these things take time.
00:57:55And I've got all the time you need.
00:58:00All right.
00:58:01Are you ready for some Paco?
00:58:02Okay, let's do it.
00:58:03That fuck out.
00:58:04Yeah.
00:58:05And give it a drop.
00:58:07Okay.
00:58:08All right.
00:58:09There it goes.
00:58:10Give it a little tea time.
00:58:12Why is it the only fat people make it into the showdown?
00:58:17Fine.
00:58:18You know, you want to sit there like a vegetable all day, pretend like you don't hear me, then
00:58:23go right ahead.
00:58:24All right.
00:58:25But my job is to make you well again by having you face the traumatic events that have forced
00:58:30you into this state.
00:58:31So, unless you're willing to turn off the TV and do that, then I would save the $2,500 a
00:58:36day you're spending here and go check yourself into a hotel.
00:58:39All right.
00:58:40Suit yourself.
00:58:41You stare all you like, little man.
00:58:42What did you just say?
00:58:43So, anyway.
00:58:44The moyal slips.
00:58:45A piece falls off.
00:58:46Hits me in the punim.
00:58:47I've been cockeyed ever since.
00:58:48So, Ami, Allison tells me you're from Skokie.
00:58:49Yeah.
00:58:50Yeah.
00:58:51Yeah.
00:58:52You know, Al and I grew up in Glenview.
00:58:53Sorry.
00:58:54Excuse me.
00:58:55Really?
00:58:56Yeah.
00:58:57Yeah.
00:58:58We were practically neighbors.
00:58:59Your family still there?
00:59:00Nope.
00:59:01Where'd they move to?
00:59:02They moved.
00:59:03To heaven.
00:59:04Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:59:05When did they pass?
00:59:06They, um, they passed a few years back.
00:59:07I can't believe you never told me that.
00:59:08Well, it's hard to talk about.
00:59:09It's very raw.
00:59:10Why?
00:59:11What happened?
00:59:12A hunting accident.
00:59:13A hunting accident?
00:59:14A hunting accident?
00:59:15Uh, they got shot by hunters.
00:59:16Oh, what happened?
00:59:17What happened?
00:59:18What happened?
00:59:19What happened?
00:59:20What happened?
00:59:21What happened?
00:59:22What happened?
00:59:23Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:59:25When did they pass?
00:59:27They, um, they passed a few years back.
00:59:30I can't believe you never told me that.
00:59:32Well, it's hard to talk about.
00:59:34It's very raw.
00:59:35Why?
00:59:36What happened?
00:59:37A hunting accident.
00:59:38Oi.
00:59:39A hunting accident?
00:59:40Uh, they got shot by hunters.
00:59:42What were your parents doing wandering around where people were hunting?
00:59:45They weren't.
00:59:46They were, um, the hunters were hunting in our backyard.
00:59:49What were the hunters doing in your backyard?
00:59:51They had gotten lost and, uh, were off track.
00:59:54And, uh, my parents were wearing their brown onesies,
00:59:57and, uh, the, um, the hunters mistook them for elk.
01:00:01Elk?
01:00:02What happened to the hunters?
01:00:03Were they arrested?
01:00:04No.
01:00:05They are still at large.
01:00:06You know what, Avi?
01:00:07The police chief in Skokie's an old friend of mine.
01:00:10I'm calling him tomorrow.
01:00:11We'll see if we can't help move things along.
01:00:14Huh.
01:00:15Uh, forgive me, but weren't you on the phone with your...
01:00:17Can we talk about something else?
01:00:18Of course.
01:00:19I was watching TV last night.
01:00:21Um, Ten Commandments.
01:00:23Charlton Heston.
01:00:24What an actor.
01:00:25Not Jewish, you know.
01:00:27Who isn't?
01:00:28So I'm, I'm up there, and we're rehearsing these, these poems that we had written for each other.
01:00:37And, and right at the part where I'm about to say I do, I just, I just cracked.
01:00:44Good, Adam.
01:00:46Do you remember how you were feeling in that very moment?
01:00:49No.
01:00:50I mean, I, I just, for a split second, I, I, I saw my entire life with Hannah flash before my eyes.
01:00:58And why did that scare you?
01:01:00Probably because I, I don't think she's right for me.
01:01:05So then why are you marrying her?
01:01:07I don't know.
01:01:08You're avoiding the question, Adam.
01:01:11I think you do know.
01:01:13Now, what I want you to do is try to pinpoint the exact moment in your life where this pressure you're feeling originated.
01:01:24I was 12 years old.
01:01:28Stop staring at her, Adam.
01:01:30That is rude.
01:01:33You're cute.
01:01:34You stare all you like, little man.
01:01:36You are not, and you will never be, her little man.
01:01:41Why can't I be her little man?
01:01:42Because she's not Jewish.
01:01:43So I can't be with a girl who's not Jewish?
01:01:45That's right.
01:01:46Why?
01:01:47Because it's your responsibility to perpetuate our religion.
01:01:48Why?
01:01:49Because six million of our ancestors died and we owe it to them.
01:01:51Why?
01:01:52Because they're dead.
01:01:53So what does that have to do with me?
01:01:54Because you're Jewish!
01:01:55The fate of our entire religion depends on you!
01:01:58You!
01:01:59You!
01:02:00You!
01:02:01It depends on me!
01:02:02It depends on me!
01:02:03It's all right.
01:02:04It all depends on me!
01:02:05It's all right.
01:02:06It's all right, Adam.
01:02:07Rosh Hashanah!
01:02:08Oh, God!
01:02:09Oh, God!
01:02:10Oh, God!
01:02:11Oh, God!
01:02:12Adam, that was really good.
01:02:14Really good.
01:02:15I'm here.
01:02:18I'm here.
01:02:28Hey, boss.
01:02:29Can I get the crusty right?
01:02:33Yeah, here.
01:02:34Ay, gracias.
01:02:35You have soft hands.
01:02:37Uh, hey, boss.
01:02:38You remember that one time we went to...
01:02:39Don't say a word.
01:02:40Hey, beautiful.
01:02:41How you doing?
01:02:42Just working.
01:02:43What are you doing?
01:02:44Oh, nothing.
01:02:45You know, just here at the hospital checking in on patients, patients, patients.
01:02:50What's up, baby?
01:02:51Well, I just spoke to my dad and he talked to the chief of police in Skokie and there's
01:02:56no record of any Rosenbergs being shot and killed by hunters.
01:02:59Really?
01:03:00Yeah, in fact, there hasn't been a hunting-related death in Skokie ever.
01:03:05So, I went online to research it and I couldn't find anything.
01:03:08Allison, I didn't want to have to tell you this, but my parents were in the witness protection
01:03:15program and when they were murdered, the FBI destroyed their records.
01:03:21What were they doing in the witness protection program?
01:03:23Jimmy Hoffa?
01:03:24What about Jimmy Hoffa?
01:03:25Look, I've said too much already.
01:03:27Do you understand?
01:03:28Avi, I just feel like you're hiding things from me.
01:03:30I mean, we've been going out for a month and you never tell me that your parents were
01:03:33murdered by elk hunters and now they're in the witness protection program?
01:03:37And on top of all that, I'm just starting to wonder if you might be gay.
01:03:40What?
01:03:41Gay?
01:03:42Whoa.
01:03:43Why would you think I'm gay?
01:03:45Because what guy goes out with a girl for a whole month and doesn't want to sleep
01:03:48with her?
01:03:49I do.
01:03:50I want to sleep with you.
01:03:51I just want to be special.
01:03:53Ew.
01:03:54That is exactly what my Aunt Judy's husband told her right before they got married.
01:03:57and 20 years and two kids later, she walks in on him tied up with a rubber ball gag in
01:04:01his mouth being f***ed by a ch*** who was dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.
01:04:06Okay?
01:04:07And I am not going to turn out like my Aunt Judy.
01:04:11Okay, okay, okay.
01:04:12Listen, we will sleep together.
01:04:13I will.
01:04:14Let's do this, baby.
01:04:15Really?
01:04:16Do you mean that?
01:04:17Oh, yeah.
01:04:18When?
01:04:19When are we going to have sex?
01:04:20I get back from the medical conference in Dallas.
01:04:23What medical conference in Dallas?
01:04:25Remember I told you about that a couple of weeks ago.
01:04:27When are you leaving?
01:04:29Like in two hours.
01:04:31You know, when you inhale, maybe you and Ted Bundy can be roommates.
01:04:36Cabron.
01:04:44You know, Rus, I'm looking at a bill here for $42,765.
01:04:50And considering we said we'd split all the wedding expenses, we need to go halfsies.
01:04:55How's your son going crazy at wedding expense?
01:04:58Well, it happened during a wedding rehearsal, so I think a case could be made in a court of law.
01:05:02This is a wedding expense.
01:05:04Nice try.
01:05:05Nice try.
01:05:06He's got a well-documented, pre-existing condition.
01:05:08There's no way in hell we're paying for it.
01:05:09His condition was never that bad until he met Hannah.
01:05:12Oh.
01:05:13Hey, are you implying that my daughter had something to do with Adam's freakout?
01:05:16Oh, she's not implying.
01:05:18She's saying.
01:05:19I had nothing to do with this.
01:05:20Oh, right.
01:05:21You're not insane.
01:05:22Everyone, please.
01:05:23We have worked very hard to get Adam to the point he is at in his therapy.
01:05:27And he has had a very tough time.
01:05:29But these last few days, he has truly managed to come from behind.
01:05:35Oh, God!
01:05:36Oh, God!
01:05:37Oh, God!
01:05:38Oh, God!
01:05:39Oh, God!
01:05:40Mom!
01:05:41Dad!
01:05:42Oh, God!
01:05:43What are you doing?
01:05:44He never tried that with me!
01:05:46Hannah?
01:05:47What?
01:05:48What is everybody doing here at the same time?
01:05:51Oh, God!
01:05:52Oh, God!
01:05:53Oh, God!
01:05:54So, let me get this straight.
01:05:56You no longer want to get married to me because you're in love with your Mongolian doctor?
01:06:01I know this must be a shock for everyone.
01:06:04But when Adam finally opened up to me, I don't know.
01:06:08We just clicked.
01:06:09What do you mean you just clicked?
01:06:10Arlene?
01:06:11Hmm?
01:06:12We are not going to get anywhere by attacking each other, Sala.
01:06:15Mm-hmm.
01:06:16Please continue.
01:06:17By the way, you're fired.
01:06:19Well, I'm a Buddhist.
01:06:22And, you know, both of our religions were born out of struggle.
01:06:25So, we both place emphasis on family, education, and hard work.
01:06:32And the intense pressure that Adam feels to marry within his people is the same pressure
01:06:37I feel to marry a Mongolian.
01:06:38So, it's no wonder why we're able to connect.
01:06:42For 43 grand, you could have connected with every chick in Mongolia!
01:06:46Okay, Sala, hypothetically speaking, if you two were to stay together and get married,
01:06:57how would you raise your children?
01:06:59Mom, do we have to get into this right now?
01:07:01Isn't that what this is for?
01:07:02Okay, well, the truth is...
01:07:03The truth is...
01:07:04The truth is?
01:07:05The truth is...
01:07:06What's the truth, Adam?
01:07:07The truth is I don't know if I want to raise my kids Jewish!
01:07:13Oh, shit.
01:07:14Jesus, who are you?
01:07:18Was I not a good mother to you?
01:07:22When you were in kindergarten and you wanted the little trampoline that could poke your eye out,
01:07:26who got you the trampoline that could poke your eye out?
01:07:29I did.
01:07:30And when you were in fifth grade and you wanted to take karate lessons in Chinatown,
01:07:35who drove you there three nights a week and sat in the parking lot all alone in the dark?
01:07:42I did.
01:07:43Okay.
01:07:44And do you know why?
01:07:46Because you're my son.
01:07:49And I love you.
01:07:53And how do you show your love for me?
01:07:56Well...
01:07:57You have style sex with your Mongolian therapist on your wedding day!
01:08:02And then you say to me, hey, Mom, I'm not sure if I want to raise my kids Jewish!
01:08:11Oh, Adam, that's fine!
01:08:12That's fine!
01:08:13Just...
01:08:14Just save the knife!
01:08:15Just save the knife and kill me, Adam!
01:08:17Just save it right now!
01:08:18Mom, stop it!
01:08:19Oh!
01:08:20Okay, Adam, so you're saying that our entire time together meant nothing to you?
01:08:28We never hit you!
01:08:29We never fondled you!
01:08:30I got Liberty Cam for you!
01:08:31Honey, honey, I think we dodged a bullet.
01:08:32Yeah, she seems nice.
01:08:33I mean, you better get a good lawyer, freak boy, because I'm suing your ass off!
01:08:37Okay, this!
01:08:38This!
01:08:39Right here!
01:08:40You want to know why I went nuts?
01:08:41It's because all of you are nuts!
01:08:42And I'm sorry that I can't marry you, but it's better that we end this right now rather
01:08:44than dragging this on for a long fucking time.
01:08:47And, Mom, I'm sorry that you had to do things that you didn't want to do.
01:08:52But you know what?
01:08:53So did I.
01:08:54I joined the family business and became the embroidery prince!
01:09:09Well, how happy can a man be?
01:09:11And to top it off, I've never dated a woman who wasn't Jewish my entire life.
01:09:16Well, you know what?
01:09:17I'm not doing things for you guys anymore.
01:09:19I'm doing things for me, because I love salads!
01:09:23Je m'aime Salah, et elle est Mongolienne, et c'est assez cool.
01:09:30Je m'aime aussi.
01:09:33Oh, Dieu.
01:09:35Vous allez être payé par cash ou check?
01:09:39Avec cette technique, la peau est permettant de rester intact.
01:09:44Et enfin, le neocrossing crush.
01:09:47Avec la perelle, la peau est crush sur environ 10 jours, jusqu'à la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin.
01:09:54Avec cette technique, la peau est bon.
01:09:56Oui, je veux que le dorsal slip, parce que la peau est l'unique, la peau est intact.
01:10:01Mais avec la sleeve section, je me suis le plus de nombre de scarring options.
01:10:06Qu'est-ce que vous pensez?
01:10:08Honnêtement, je suis un peu partiale à la température de la peau.
01:10:10Vous avez tous les bénéfices de la sleeve section, mais vous avez la pump action de l'agamgo.
01:10:15Plus, c'est réduit votre schmégma à 75%.
01:10:20Il fait ?
01:10:20Done, sold.
01:10:23Je vais avec la température crush, boy.
01:10:25Knock, knock.
01:10:26Snip, snip time, Mr. O'Connell.
01:10:29Oh.
01:10:31Here we go.
01:10:33Is this your life partner?
01:10:34Who?
01:10:34No, no, no, no.
01:10:35No life partnering here.
01:10:37That would be weird.
01:10:38Not that that's weird at all, but just, you know.
01:10:40Okay, Mr. O'Connell.
01:10:42So, me go on to turn this little nabby here on,
01:10:44and you're going to just slowly drift away.
01:10:47We want you to breathe, relax, enjoy it.
01:10:53Breathe in, breathe in.
01:10:55I'm scared.
01:10:56You have nothing to be afraid of, boy.
01:10:58Nurse Boo is going to sing you a little ditty and make you feel all better.
01:11:02Oh.
01:11:02When I was only eight days old, hurrah, hurrah, a billy, billy, billy bum.
01:11:08When I was only eight days old, hurrah, hurrah, a billy, billy, billy.
01:11:13The boy that came with his big knife, I thought he was going to take my life,
01:11:17but he only took a little bit off the top, a little bit off the top, top, top,
01:11:23little bit off the top, top, top, top.
01:11:28Well, okay, okay.
01:11:30Okay.
01:11:31She was taking a little off the top.
01:11:32Easy there, Mr. O'Connell.
01:11:35Next time, don't trust your circumcision to an HMO.
01:11:39Oh, I think she's nice.
01:11:48I just, I can't believe that you're doing all of this
01:11:51just so you don't have to make any more decisions.
01:11:53Oh, Adam, you don't get it.
01:11:56All those things that you say drive you crazy, I love.
01:11:59Oh, I love that your parents smother you.
01:12:01I love that if they hear about a tornado in Kansas,
01:12:05they call you even though you live in Los Angeles.
01:12:08Yeah, we're very nervous people.
01:12:10And I love the fact that you email each other your itineraries
01:12:14because, because you never know, you know?
01:12:17No, you never know.
01:12:20Never know.
01:12:21And for the past 5,000 years, every civilization,
01:12:25every culture has tried to have you guys annihilated.
01:12:27Yeah, we are not liked.
01:12:28I like you.
01:12:29We're like, you're getting the, it's going to all make sense now.
01:12:33Muhammad Al-Sheikh Al-Sheen Al-Sheikh is up here.
01:12:36Now, he's going to come up here,
01:12:38and then we've got Muhammad Ali.
01:12:40Muhammad Ali.
01:12:41No.
01:12:42Stop that.
01:12:45McConnell here.
01:12:46Speak up.
01:12:47Hi, Daddy.
01:12:47It's your son, Christian.
01:12:48What you doing?
01:12:49I'm in Tahiti having myself a Mai Tai.
01:12:51What the hell do you think I'm doing?
01:12:54Fighting terrorists?
01:12:55Spreading democracy?
01:12:56Dad, guess what I'm doing?
01:12:58Oh, I'm here with Adam Lipschitz.
01:12:59You remember him?
01:13:00Adam Lipschitz?
01:13:01Didn't I order you to stay away from that boy?
01:13:03No, Daddy, we're life partners.
01:13:05Sir, that's inaccurate, sir.
01:13:07Life partners?
01:13:08Now, what the hell is life partners?
01:13:09Life partners.
01:13:10She's a homo, Dad.
01:13:11What?
01:13:11I call her to what?
01:13:12A homo?
01:13:14Yeah, we're here at the hospital, you know,
01:13:15because he's with me, so I can get circumcised, sir.
01:13:19What?
01:13:19Not for me, though.
01:13:21Circumcised.
01:13:22Circumcised?
01:13:23Yeah, so I can be a Jew, Daddy.
01:13:24You can be a Jew?
01:13:26Daddy, I want to tell you something, too,
01:13:27because I don't think I've ever told you this before.
01:13:29We never say this, but I love you, Daddy.
01:13:32I love you.
01:13:35Hi.
01:13:36Sorry.
01:13:37You know, I'm glad we're hanging out again,
01:13:39but I kind of feel like something's missing.
01:13:42A little bit off the top.
01:13:43Ow.
01:13:44Top it.
01:13:49Allison?
01:13:55Want to have sex?
01:13:58Not really.
01:13:59Clear right!
01:14:04Clear right!
01:14:04Didn't I order you to keep your son away from my son?
01:14:09Excuse me.
01:14:10Don't you play dumb with me, s*** lips?
01:14:14Buck O'Connell?
01:14:16Oh, jeez.
01:14:17Your Adam has turned my Christian into some gay Jew.
01:14:23Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:14:24Buck, slow down.
01:14:25What are you talking about?
01:14:26They're live partners.
01:14:30Life partners?
01:14:32Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:14:33What makes you think this?
01:14:35He called and told me while he was in hospital with your Adam
01:14:40that he was about to get his package up
01:14:44so they could be gay Jews together.
01:14:47and then he told me,
01:14:50Dad, I love you.
01:14:52What the hell is going on, huh?
01:14:55Oh, Dennis, we pushed him too far
01:14:58and he snapped.
01:15:00With all the pressure that we put on him
01:15:02to marry a Jewish girl,
01:15:03the Asian wasn't enough
01:15:04and he went the other way.
01:15:07Okay, Buck, first of all,
01:15:10you look fantastic.
01:15:12Whoa, hey, hey, hey.
01:15:13Take it easy, old man.
01:15:14No, but second of all,
01:15:15I mean, I'm having a hard time believing any of this.
01:15:18Oh, yeah?
01:15:19Now, where's your boy right now?
01:15:21Oh, buddy, I'm so happy you're here
01:15:23and that you're helping me with this.
01:15:25I don't know what I would do without you.
01:15:26You really need me to do this again?
01:15:28I gotta be honest.
01:15:28I don't know if I can get through another gauze pass.
01:15:31And how many times a day do you have to do it?
01:15:33Oh, really, I can't do this myself.
01:15:35Please come and do it.
01:15:36God, come on, just help me.
01:15:38Okay.
01:15:39Come here.
01:15:39Put some of that jelly on it
01:15:41and let's get going.
01:15:42Oh, God!
01:15:44Oh, God!
01:15:44Drop the petroleum jelly
01:15:47and back away from my son's anus.
01:15:51Holy s***.
01:15:53I knew it.
01:15:54Don't shoot him, Dad.
01:15:55Mom?
01:15:56Adam!
01:15:56Dad!
01:15:57Damn it, Adam!
01:15:57Jelly's for toast!
01:16:01Allison, I'm not a Jew
01:16:03and I'm not a doctor
01:16:04and my name is not Avi Rosenberg.
01:16:06Well, then who the hell are you?
01:16:08I'm Christian Thaddeus Reginald MacArthur O'Connell.
01:16:11I'm a plumber.
01:16:12Look, when I met you at the mixer,
01:16:14I begged my friend Adam here
01:16:15to help me pass myself off as a Jew
01:16:18so that you'd be able to date me.
01:16:20P***ing club?
01:16:22Allison, how's it going?
01:16:24Marcy?
01:16:24Don't you even look at me.
01:16:25Rabbi, I'm so sorry.
01:16:26You.
01:16:27P***ing club.
01:16:28Before Adam came along,
01:16:29I watched NASCAR
01:16:30and I had the heads of dead animals
01:16:32that I'd hunted and killed myself on my wall
01:16:34and I had no idea
01:16:35that when you order a salad at a restaurant,
01:16:36you can order the dressing on the side,
01:16:39let alone custom-create
01:16:40your own dishes off the menu.
01:16:41What the hell are you talking about?
01:16:42I fed you seas a salad.
01:16:44Jews can custom-create
01:16:45their own dishes off the menu.
01:16:47They're always up to something.
01:16:49No, I can hear you.
01:16:50That's why I messed up our date so bad
01:16:52because I wasn't being myself.
01:16:54And then Adam told me
01:16:55the only way I'm ever going to be able
01:16:56to get you back
01:16:56is if I could convince your mom
01:16:58that I was the greatest guy in the world.
01:17:00So that's why I poisoned your dad
01:17:02with the rotten gift of Phil to fish
01:17:04because I wanted to partner
01:17:06with your mom in the bridge tournament.
01:17:07You're the reason I've been on the toilet
01:17:09for three days becoming a raisin?
01:17:11All right, now we finally beat the Fleischman,
01:17:13Shlomi, so just leave it alone.
01:17:14Was there ever a medical conference in Dallas?
01:17:17No, I just needed time
01:17:19to recover from the circumcision.
01:17:21Oh, Jesus.
01:17:22On the what?
01:17:23You wouldn't mind having circumcision?
01:17:24Why would you do all that?
01:17:27Because I love you.
01:17:29Allison, I love you.
01:17:36Oh, how, how, how, how, how, how?
01:17:40And I want you to make every decision for me
01:17:43for the rest of my life.
01:17:44Will you do that?
01:17:46So I'm just supposed to forget
01:17:47about everything you just said
01:17:49because you love me?
01:17:51Yes, please.
01:17:51Son, stop this hollering
01:17:56and just propose to the girl.
01:17:59Don't put the tongue in.
01:18:05Well, that haircut is awful.
01:18:07So let me make an appointment for you
01:18:09with my guy because he's the best.
01:18:11I should take that as a yes, huh?
01:18:13Yes.
01:18:14I'll take that as a yes.
01:18:16Oh, Shlomi, we've got a plumber.
01:18:18Christian Thaddeus Reginald MacArthur O'Connell.
01:18:22Rosenberg.
01:18:23Now, that's a nice Jewish name.
01:18:28We are so thrilled that you finally decided
01:18:32to come on a moose hunt with us.
01:18:33I can't wait to kill me a ten-pointer.
01:18:35I'm going to skin him and gut him
01:18:37and pull out his rectum.
01:18:38You got the spirit.
01:18:38Nobody is pulling out anybody's rectum here.
01:18:40That's what they do.
01:18:41No, no, listen to me, Shlomi.
01:18:42That would be a disgusting thing to do.
01:18:44Think of it.
01:18:44You could be more of it.
01:18:45E. Coli.
01:18:45You could get bacterium.
01:18:47There are no wipes here that I can see.
01:18:49Shut up!
01:18:50Stop the convection.
01:18:53Mercy.
01:18:54Yarmulke man.
01:18:55Take a knee.
01:18:56Knee?
01:18:59Cramp.
01:19:00Careful.
01:19:00Not like that.
01:19:02For God's sake.
01:19:03I remember when my father took me out
01:19:07for my first hunt.
01:19:10We all fought like crazy
01:19:12over who's going to be the lucky one
01:19:13to pull out that rectum.
01:19:15That's what they do?
01:19:17Oh, thank you.
01:19:18Nog, baby.
01:19:18Damn right.
01:19:20Nog, baby.
01:19:21Oh, daddy loves mama's nog.
01:19:24Nog, baby.
01:19:26I'm not really much of a nog guy.
01:19:28You know, the dairy kind of makes
01:19:30my acid reflux kick in,
01:19:32and I'm not even sure
01:19:33if the eggs are cage-free,
01:19:34so I don't feel safe.
01:19:35But one sip won't kill me, I guess.
01:19:38Nog, baby.
01:19:40Oh, yeah.
01:19:46Oh, yeah!
01:19:53N-Nar-Nar-Natung
01:19:54and Javai-Nette, whatever.
01:19:58My wife and I,
01:19:59we want to thank you
01:19:59for your hospitality
01:20:00and for these beautiful hats.
01:20:02Nog, baby.
01:20:03I'm not going to thank you.
01:20:04I'm not going to thank you.
01:20:04I'm not going to thank you.
01:20:05Oh, my father says it's an honor
01:20:09to have you as part of our family,
01:20:10and they've learned a great deal
01:20:11of wisdom from all of you this week.
01:20:13Thank you.
01:20:14Thank you.
01:20:15Good to tell you,
01:20:16Shula, Marmot.
01:20:17Oh, my mother says
01:20:18you're going to love the fried marmot.
01:20:19It's a speciality.
01:20:20Oh, Dennis, did you hear that?
01:20:22We're going to have fried marmot.
01:20:23Hooray.
01:20:23We discussed at home.
01:20:25I can have fried food
01:20:26once every few months.
01:20:27I'm not saying
01:20:28that you shouldn't have fried food.
01:20:30Well, then what are you saying?
01:20:31Let's just eat it.
01:20:32Oh, maybe a little Mongolian barbecue
01:20:33or something, right?
01:20:34That could be okay.
01:20:35Let's eat what they order.
01:20:38We don't want to be rude.
01:20:38Is it kosher?
01:20:39I don't know.
01:20:40We're not even kosher.
01:20:42Why do you care?
01:20:55I had a dream
01:20:58Where I saw everyone
01:21:00With a smile on my face
01:21:02Oh, I had a dream
01:21:06Of a day when our love
01:21:08Took the place of our lady
01:21:10I was depressed.
01:21:20I was self-conscious.
01:21:22I realized that my God-given
01:21:24wasn't the vag I wanted God to give me.
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01:22:00In fact,
01:22:01I was such a satisfied client
01:22:03that I became one of the doctors here.
01:22:06And my wife.
01:22:10Gift yourself the vag that you deserve.
01:22:13Don't let your labia interfere with your life.
01:22:15Call now.
01:22:16855-VAG-4U.
01:22:19855-VAG-4U.
01:22:20Oh, sweet love, there were peace and harmony.
01:22:28Oh, sweet love, peace and harmony.
01:22:34I had a dream, I had a dream.
01:22:38Not a dream for myself, but for all of you.
01:22:42I had a dream, I saw Jesus and Moses singing gospel all together.
01:22:50I had a dream, I had a dream, I had a dream, I had a dream.
01:22:51Oh, sweet love, peace and harmony.
01:24:25...