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Transcript
00:009-1-1 what's the address of your emergency I need an officer out to my place regarding my
00:10brother Raymond Cervantes there's blood all over the floor he took off with his soon-to-be ex-wife
00:17I don't know if it's her blood my life today it's not what I imagined it would be due to
00:27him attacking me that night and as many times as I was strangled and beaten and all the times I
00:35went without oxygen I have memory loss I have a traumatic brain injury I possibly suffered a
00:41stroke that night I'm gonna have to live with this for the rest of my life that of everything
00:49that I could forget I wish I could forget this but something I'll never forget
00:57I didn't think I was gonna get upset I thought I was gonna be able to do this without crying
01:05this is actually the knife that I had that night the knife that Ray gave me and had me start carrying
01:31when Ray first gave me the knife he kind of taught me how to use it was more of a caring gesture like
01:39I want you to be okay if I'm not around if anything happens I want you to be able to defend yourself and
01:44protect yourself I think it's very ironic that the thing that he gave me to protect myself with is
01:51ultimately what I use to protect myself against him I fully 100% believe that Ray is evil
01:59different people
02:09are you
02:12I really did it
02:14here
02:21This is a picture of me and Ray.
02:44I'm still smiling in this picture, so.
02:46It just makes me remember that there were good times.
02:54We had so much fun in the beginning.
02:57We spent a lot of time together and we hung out and played games.
03:01In the beginning, it was just a lot of fun then.
03:05I don't know, I just feel stupid saying there were good times.
03:08Like, how could there have been good times?
03:10But, I mean, there were.
03:12I think from the very moment I met him, he was playing a role.
03:21Looking at this picture, if I could go back, I would tell that girl to run as far away from that man as she could.
03:27The day that I met Ray, I mean, living in Ohio, and I have my house with my two kids.
03:54I was pretty kind of lost and broken and just searching, I guess, for myself or something.
03:59I was single.
04:00I had just gotten out of a relationship and I didn't know who I was anymore.
04:06I really didn't feel like I had a purpose in life.
04:09I just was kind of existing and floating through life.
04:15Meeting Ray was completely random.
04:17A mutual friend of ours had a gathering at her house and I had one over there.
04:23He was nice and funny and he seemed caring and he seemed like he was attentive and just, he seemed like a nice guy.
04:31I don't think I've ever really laughed so much with anybody.
04:35I didn't want to stop talking to him.
04:37I didn't want him to go home.
04:38I was kind of opening up to him about what was going on in my life and he said he'd be there and kind of helped get me through it and just kind of seemed like a very, very caring person.
04:50And that made me want to get to know him more and spend more time with him.
04:54I did not realize that I was literally giving him everything that he was going to use against me on a silver platter.
05:01Maybe it's because you're so lost.
05:03They seem so perfect.
05:04I don't know.
05:05I thought I was opening up and actually connecting with someone.
05:09I didn't, I didn't know who he was going to turn out to be.
05:24Pretty early on, I knew that he had been previously married, but he had been divorced for a long time.
05:31We were pretty much together almost every day.
05:34We would go fishing and go walk and hang out in the parks, go out to the bars and have drinks.
05:40One night, Ray and I were out at the bar drinking and then all of a sudden, Ray opened up a little bit about his past to me.
05:47There's something I got to tell you.
05:48Ann told me that he had a kidnapping charge that he had spent some time in jail for.
05:54After he said that, I really didn't know what to believe.
05:57Something with no problem.
05:59I was, I think, still in like just shock and my heart sank.
06:04He told me that his ex-wife was dating somebody new and that person had hit their child, one of their sons.
06:11So he went over there to fight the person and drug him out of the house and beat him up.
06:18So he told me that he got a kidnapping charge for dragging the guy out of the house.
06:24Not the best thing, but in my mind, it was okay.
06:29I guess you're defending your kid.
06:30I mean, not the best way to do it, but okay.
06:33I understand maybe I wouldn't go to that extremes too, but you're sticking up for your kid.
06:39And it was a long time ago, so I'm not going to judge you on something that you were honest with me about.
06:45But I think that should have been my warning sign.
06:48I wish I would have known the full story.
06:52I really wish I would have asked more questions.
06:54I wish I would have been not so trusting.
06:57Later on, his ex-wife contacted me and we've talked and I do know what the real story is.
07:04He actually kidnapped her and took her to a cemetery, drug her around by her hair and told her to pick out her own grave.
07:10We had gone to a birthday party and there was a guy that came on a motorcycle.
07:31I love motorcycles.
07:35My parents have motorcycles.
07:36I grew up around them.
07:37It had been a long time since I had taken a ride on a bike.
07:41So I was pretty excited about it.
07:44I asked him to take me for a ride around the block on his motorcycle.
07:49Would you mind?
07:50Not at all.
07:52Ray actually was standing right there when I asked.
07:55There you go.
07:56And apparently that was not the correct thing to do.
08:00Kind of didn't look happy, but he didn't like immediately yell at me or anything like that.
08:05He just kind of was a little sulky and then I just all of a sudden noticed that he was gone.
08:11At first I just thought, I'm like, oh, okay, he got mad about something.
08:16So I didn't, yeah, I didn't think it was that big of a deal.
08:20Then I realized he actually left me at that party and I had to get a taxi home.
08:29I mean, I guess I should have thought he left me there, but I was just, I really honestly didn't know why.
08:34I'm like, okay, what's going on?
08:37Let me go home and find out what's going on.
08:41When I got home, he told me how disrespectful that was, that I should never, ever disrespect him like that again,
08:51that no man was going to take his lady out on a bike.
08:55And then Ray got very, very upset.
08:57You thought you were slick?
08:58It was just a motorcycle ride.
09:00And we get into an argument and he just all of a sudden came at me from behind.
09:06I had my shoulders pinned down.
09:10I'm remembering the look on his face, how mad and angry he was.
09:13It was scary and shocking, like this whole other side of him that I had not ever seen before.
09:23He was punching me in the face.
09:25I remember asking him to stop, you know, telling him to stop hitting me.
09:34But then I finally got away.
09:36I ran down to my neighbor's house.
09:39They came down to help me, but he had taken off.
09:42And the neighbors wanted to call the police, but I didn't let them and I did not call the police.
09:47At that time, I was just, I didn't, I was embarrassed.
09:50I was confused and I really still at that time was struggling with, that's not really him.
09:57And then Ray began sending me messages, apologizing and promising to change and be a better person.
10:04He even encouraged me to call the cops on him.
10:06He told me that I should call the cops on him because he deserved to be in trouble for what he did.
10:11And I told him, no, I'm not going to do that to you.
10:14Because at the time I saw it as remorse, not manipulation, but that's how good of a manipulator he is.
10:25Like I thought maybe, you know, that was just a one-time thing.
10:29People have bad nights and do stupid things when they're drinking.
10:32So I fully did believe that it was not going to happen again.
10:37I wish I knew then what I know now.
10:44Ray God wanted us to work on our relationship.
10:50He didn't continue to try to work on being a couple.
10:53At some point, we started talking about marriage.
10:55And we decided that we were just going to go downtown and get married.
11:01I was very nervous, very hesitant, very second-guessing myself.
11:05But at that time, kind of scared to not go through with it because I didn't want to upset him.
11:11And I didn't know how he would react if I told him that I didn't want to anymore.
11:16So I went through with it and we got married.
11:19Once we got married, Ray moved into my house with me.
11:23Some things were pretty good at first.
11:25And we got along pretty good, had a lot of fun.
11:26I thought that being married would make us closer and make our relationship stronger.
11:31I didn't think anything bad was going to happen again.
11:35In the morning, I was trying to wake him up and he was sleeping.
11:53And I was shaking him on his back.
11:56Hey, Ray, wake up.
11:57And he kind of rolled over and my hands kind of got trapped between him and the couch.
12:03And when I pulled my hands out, it scratched his back.
12:06It wasn't anything serious.
12:08He just kind of looked at me and I just woke him up and told him it was time to get up and go to work.
12:12It's a little awkward, but not like hostile or anything like that.
12:16And I, again, didn't think anything of it and went about getting ready for my day.
12:25And all of a sudden there is a knock on the front door and it's the police.
12:29He called the police and told them that I had attacked him.
12:39I remember, like, I was thinking, what, are you serious?
12:42Like, what is going on here?
12:44Like, we weren't, there was no yelling, there was no fighting.
12:46I'm like, I don't understand this.
12:47Like, I didn't, didn't do anything.
12:49I didn't put my hands on him.
12:51They're like, well, he has scratches on his back.
12:52I was like, I literally was waking him up on the couch.
12:56Hey!
12:57I explained to them exactly what happened.
13:00He just kind of stood there and let it all happen.
13:03I'm like, are you kidding me right now?
13:06Like, you're taking me to jail over a scratch on somebody's back.
13:11He didn't try to help me at all until I was in the handcuffs.
13:15Ray, please!
13:17All right, officers, all right.
13:19Then he would try to be the savior and, oh, please don't arrest her.
13:23I didn't mean to call you guys.
13:24It wasn't that bad.
13:26And then it was the nice guy that was going to save me from the situation that he put me in.
13:32I was furious.
13:33It didn't make sense to me why he did this to me when I didn't call the police on him
13:40when he had beaten me so terribly before.
13:43Looking back, I think Ray was just trying to teach me that I had to do what he wanted.
13:50That it was his way.
13:53That if I didn't comply with him, that I was going to be taught some kind of lesson.
13:58He was going to do something to show me that I did something wrong.
14:00Shortly after Christmas, my daughter had a friend staying the night.
14:22It was one of those nights he was on the couch, I was in the bedroom.
14:24We weren't really hanging out or talking.
14:26When I got home and I first got my daughter and her friend situated in her bedroom,
14:33I'd go and look at my room and I was just like kind of shocked.
14:39The bedroom door had been kicked in.
14:41My mattress has been flipped over.
14:42He's rifled through all of my things.
14:45There's things thrown about the room like he's searching for something
14:50that I don't know what he's searching for.
14:52It looks like a mini tornado had went through my bedroom.
14:57So then I asked him like, what's going on?
14:59Where are you doing that?
15:00What is wrong with you?
15:03He just immediately starts telling me that I'm hiding stuff from him in the bedroom.
15:07But he can't tell me what I'm hiding.
15:09I know you're sneaking around.
15:10What are you talking about?
15:11We get into an argument.
15:13He always wanted to know what I was doing and where I was.
15:15And I guess he felt like he didn't know something.
15:18And he pushes me down on the couch.
15:21I'm very upset.
15:22You know, I don't know what he's going to do.
15:23Like, you know, he gets angry and goes off on the deep end.
15:26And he's kind of antagonizing me.
15:28Like, you know, what are you going to do?
15:30So I have my little pocket knife in my hand.
15:32And I'm telling him, if you put your hands on me again,
15:34I said, I'm going to defend myself.
15:37I'm going outside.
15:38You know, get out of my way.
15:40I kind of just walked around him and went outside to the patio.
15:43I didn't know this at the time, but my daughter had saw Ray push me,
15:50and she called the police.
15:56So the police show up.
15:59They told me that Ray had showed them a video of us arguing in the kitchen
16:03with me with a knife in my hand.
16:05And I took a step towards him, which was threatening towards him
16:11so that they had to arrest me for domestic violence.
16:14He just had his phone in his hand.
16:16I didn't even know that he was recording.
16:18My plan when I was coming home was to go to the courts first
16:34and file a separation, because once I had those separation papers,
16:38I could legally get them to make him leave my house.
16:42And then the COVID pandemic hit.
16:44The courts were not going to be open.
16:49There's nothing I can do.
16:50It was literally like walking on eggshells,
16:53not knowing what to do and how to act.
16:57During this time, there was quite a few nights
16:59that I slept with my bedroom door locked.
17:02And I dreaded, just absolutely dreaded the fact
17:06that I was going to be stuck in the house with this person 24-7.
17:10And I don't know what he would do if I finally do leave him.
17:16I was terrified.
17:24The way that I first met, I don't think it truly exists.
17:28I don't think any part but the manipulative, evil,
17:34mean, abusive person exists.
17:35I think it was all just lies and manipulation.
17:40I didn't want to let Ray know what I had planned,
17:42because I didn't trust him and I didn't know how he would react.
17:47And I was just trying to maintain and survive and play the role
17:50and continue to plan my escape.
17:52I decided I'm not going to sit at home and deal with this.
18:07So I got a hold of some friends
18:09and I went and hung out with some friends for the night.
18:12I wake up in the morning
18:13and I call my mom on the way home.
18:18My mom tells me that I need to get home
18:24because he had killed my dog.
18:30And I don't even remember the drive home.
18:32I just remember getting there and just like,
18:35what the f***?
18:36I don't need to take pictures.
18:50I'm just going to video everything.
18:52So that is a video that I took the day that I came home.
19:09And it just shows just the pure destruction of my house
19:15and all my belongings and my, you could see the dolls,
19:20my grandparents' dolls with their heads missing.
19:23And I mean, I knew he was a violent person,
19:26but I guess I didn't know the extremes
19:28and the level that his violence could get to.
19:31I didn't think he would literally go from one end of the house
19:35to the other and break everything in his path.
19:37I got into my bedroom.
19:46That was where he murdered my poor dog.
19:50I got into that back wall.
19:53That was, uh...
19:54That was jaggy, splattered against that wall in my bed
20:01and right where I laid my head every night to sleep.
20:07This is my dog, Shaggy.
20:17He was just, he was one of my best friends.
20:21He was just such a freakishly large shih tzu.
20:25He slept at the end of my bed,
20:27right at my foot in my bed,
20:28between me and the door,
20:29because he had to protect his mama.
20:32He was my furry soulmate.
20:33Ray murdered him.
20:38He took his poor little body
20:40and beat him against the bedroom walls
20:43and tied a scarf around his neck
20:45and hung him from a tree in my backyard.
20:47You can see the purple pieces of scarf.
20:51I felt like, sadly,
20:59Shaggy sacrificed himself that night
21:01to save me that night.
21:03Because if it wasn't going to be Shaggy,
21:05it probably would have been me
21:06if I would have came home.
21:08I hate that, but...
21:11It's how much he loved me
21:14and how much I loved him.
21:15My parents,
21:31when they were going through
21:32and cleaning the house
21:33and kind of trying to get it cleaned up,
21:36they found knives tucked around the house.
21:39Under the couch,
21:45under the living room coffee table,
21:47by the front door,
21:49just stashed everywhere.
21:52We later found
21:53a security camera
21:56that he had set up
21:58in the corner of the house.
22:01And on this security camera,
22:04you can see him assaulting my daughter.
22:07That night,
22:10told my daughter to stay
22:11at her friend's house
22:11and to stay away from the house,
22:13but there was one point in the night
22:14that she needed her phone charger,
22:16so she went back down to the house.
22:18And he didn't want her in the house.
22:23Ray punched my daughter in the face
22:25and pushed her out the front door
22:27into a truck.
22:30I could tell by watching the video
22:31that he was waiting for me to come home
22:33because he'd be sitting on the couch
22:35and you would see headlights
22:36come across the front windows
22:38and he would get up
22:38and jump to the windows
22:40and look out the window
22:41and see what car it was.
22:42I fully believe that
22:45his plan that night
22:46was why he set the camera up
22:49was for me to come home,
22:51find my dog hanging from the tree,
22:54come into the house
22:55with no context,
22:56and him defend himself
22:58and kill me that night.
23:00At least that's what I think
23:01was his plan that night
23:02because I don't know why else
23:03you would have knives
23:04tucked all around the house
23:05and every corner of the house.
23:22When Ray got out of jail,
23:24he was living at his sister's house
23:26and I had moved a new apartment
23:27with my kids.
23:29I had not told Ray
23:31where I had been living,
23:33but one day I got a text message
23:34from him
23:35with the picture
23:36of the front of my building.
23:39I think he was sending me a message
23:41that he could find me
23:42at any time if he wanted to.
23:45When I got his text message,
23:47I didn't at that time
23:49think very much of it.
23:50I had so much other things
23:53going on in my life.
23:54I didn't really take it
23:55as seriously
23:55as I probably should have
23:57at that time
23:58because looking back now,
24:00I feel like that was just
24:01the start of his plan
24:03to do something to me.
24:13It was a Sunday night.
24:15I was at home
24:16and Ray had been sending me messages
24:19and trying to get me
24:21to come over
24:21to his sister's house.
24:24Ray sent me photos
24:25of signed divorce papers
24:26and I thought that
24:28that was his way
24:29of telling me
24:30that we were done
24:31and this relationship was over.
24:35He was telling me
24:36that he was very sorry
24:37for everything
24:39that he had destroyed
24:39in my house
24:40and he wanted to try
24:42to make some things right
24:43and he had $1,000
24:44to give to me.
24:45I told Ray
24:47that I would meet him
24:48but I had some ground rules
24:50that I was not getting
24:52out of the car,
24:53that I was going
24:53to bring my knife
24:54to protect me
24:55and I was not staying
24:56very long
24:57to talk to him.
24:59Driving over there,
25:00I just all of a sudden
25:02got this sinking feeling
25:04of dread
25:04in my stomach
25:05and I regret
25:08not turning around.
25:09He walks up
25:22to my driver's window
25:23and he hands me
25:25some money
25:25through the window
25:26and I think it was
25:27like $400 or so.
25:28Then he said
25:29he has the rest
25:30of the money,
25:31the rest of the $1,000
25:32for me
25:32in the garage
25:34and if I'd go
25:36in the garage with him
25:37he'll give me
25:37the rest of the money.
25:39I walked into the garage
25:41and he walked in
25:42behind me,
25:45shut the door,
25:49immediately punched me
25:50in the side of my head
25:51and said,
25:53you really thought
25:53I was letting you
25:54go home tonight?
25:57I mean,
25:58I immediately thought
25:59what the f***
25:59did I just get myself into?
26:02I have my phone
26:03in my hand
26:04and I have the knife
26:06tucked in my waistband
26:07so I'm trying
26:09to get the knife out
26:10and I just have
26:11this sinking feeling
26:12that this is not
26:14going to turn
26:14into a very good situation.
26:17His eyes looked
26:18pure black.
26:19He just looked evil.
26:21Like he just,
26:22this pure rage
26:23and hatred.
26:24I've seen him
26:25look mad before
26:26but never like that.
26:29And you'll run.
26:31Come in.
26:32Get back.
26:33He starts strangling me
26:35from behind.
26:37And I can't breathe
26:38and I don't know
26:39what to do
26:39but I've still got
26:40the knife in my hand.
26:42So I look to my right
26:44and the only thing
26:44I can see is this thigh.
26:46So I, um,
26:50I stabbed him in a thigh.
26:54And he pulled me out
26:56and he threw me down
26:57onto the ground
26:57and pinned me down
27:00and had my arms pinned down.
27:02Ray was telling me
27:03that he would stop strangling me
27:05if I gave him the knife.
27:07I'm not giving him that knife.
27:09So I took it
27:11and I threw it
27:12as hard as I could.
27:16But, uh,
27:17he didn't stop
27:18like he said he would.
27:22He continued to strangle me
27:24and at that point,
27:26uh,
27:29I'm pretty sure
27:30I died for a moment
27:30because, uh,
27:34I wasn't there for
27:36I don't know how long
27:37but
27:38where I was
27:40was great.
27:44It was just
27:45the most
27:46euphoric place
27:48you have ever been
27:49and the most
27:50calm
27:50and peaceful
27:52and just light
27:54and bright
27:54and it's
27:55like
27:56from those moments
27:58that I experienced
27:59I'm not
28:00afraid to die
28:01anymore
28:02if that makes any sense.
28:07But then I came back too
28:08and he had all of my hair
28:11wrapped around
28:12his fist
28:13and he was dragging me
28:15and I remember thinking
28:18in that moment
28:19I was like
28:19I just want to go back
28:20to where I just was
28:22like
28:22just take me back there
28:23I don't want to be
28:24doing this right now.
28:27Then I realized
28:28I had to keep fighting.
28:29I'm screaming
28:37for somebody
28:38to help me
28:38I'm screaming
28:39that he's trying
28:40to kill me
28:41and
28:41he's telling me
28:42that nobody's
28:43going to hear me
28:44and nobody is
28:45going to come
28:45and help me
28:46that I'm
28:47going to die
28:48that night
28:48and
28:50sitting on this
28:51toolbox
28:52is this
28:53big
28:538 inch
28:54metal C clamp
28:55and he grabs that
28:57and he hits me
28:58on the left side
29:01of my face
29:01right here
29:02a couple times
29:03with that
29:04I could instantly
29:09feel
29:10the side
29:10of my face
29:11swell
29:11I can hear
29:16all the sounds
29:17I can hear
29:20myself struggling
29:21I can hear
29:24myself gasping
29:24for my own breath
29:25no one should
29:26ever have to
29:27hear something
29:27like that
29:28I can hear
29:29myself begging
29:30for my own life
29:31no one should
29:32ever have to
29:33hear that
29:33but then he
29:36takes
29:36an electrical
29:38cord
29:38cuts the end
29:40off a bit
29:40ties it into
29:41a noose
29:42and starts
29:43starts chasing
29:46me around the
29:46garage
29:47with this
29:48electrical cord
29:49noose
29:49and I know
29:52that I cannot
29:53let him get
29:54that around
29:54my neck
29:55I know
29:58if I let
29:58him
29:59I know
30:00if he gets
30:00that around
30:01my neck
30:01that I don't
30:01have my knife
30:02I don't
30:02have anything
30:03and what
30:04am I going
30:04to do
30:04to fight
30:05an electrical
30:06cord
30:07so I just
30:09keep running
30:10from him
30:10and running
30:11from him
30:11and as I'm
30:12doing this
30:13I'm looking
30:13up and I
30:14notice that
30:14there's already
30:15a noose
30:16hanging from
30:17the rafters
30:18so I feel
30:21like I'm
30:22like
30:22he's going
30:23to hang
30:23me
30:23and then
30:24hang
30:24himself
30:24like
30:25what is
30:26going
30:26like
30:26I know
30:28I'm in
30:28trouble
30:28and I
30:29just
30:29want to get
30:31out of there
30:32still shocks
30:51me
30:51this is a
30:52picture of
30:53the c-clamp
30:55that
30:56I was
30:57beaten
30:57with
30:57yeah
31:02I still
31:03I still
31:05just don't
31:05understand
31:06like why
31:08you would
31:09pick up
31:09something like
31:10that and
31:10hit somebody
31:11with it
31:11and how
31:12it didn't
31:13do more
31:13damage
31:14to me
31:14yeah
31:19this was
31:19fairly early
31:21into it
31:22when I got
31:22hit with
31:22this
31:23three and
31:29a half
31:29hours of
31:30not knowing
31:30whether I
31:30was going
31:31to live
31:31or not
31:31I was able
31:41to get away
31:42and out
31:42of the garage
31:43and get
31:43into my car
31:44and get
31:44it started
31:44but the
31:45gear shift
31:45stopped
31:46and by the
31:47time I
31:47tried to
31:48get it
31:48in the
31:48right
31:48gear
31:49Ray was
31:50right there
31:50he reached
31:52in and
31:53grabbed the
31:53keys
31:54he forced
31:55me to
31:55get over
31:55in the
31:56passenger
31:56seat
31:56so he
31:57could drive
31:57and take
31:58off with
31:58me
31:58so we
32:03leave there
32:04and he's
32:05telling me
32:05that he
32:06just wants
32:06to go
32:07and talk
32:07to me
32:07that he's
32:08not going
32:08to hurt
32:08me anymore
32:09that he
32:09just wants
32:10to go
32:10talk to
32:10me
32:10after he
32:12took me
32:12from his
32:13sister's
32:13house
32:13she called
32:14him
32:15and he
32:15answered
32:15and he
32:16told her
32:17that he
32:19just wanted
32:19to go
32:20have a
32:20heart
32:21to heart
32:21talk
32:21with his
32:21wife
32:22one more
32:22time
32:23but that
32:23he wasn't
32:24coming home
32:24and that
32:25he loved
32:25her
32:25911
32:30what's
32:30the address
32:30of your
32:31emergency
32:31I need
32:32an officer
32:33out to
32:34my place
32:34regarding
32:36my brother
32:36Raymond
32:37Cervantes
32:37I just
32:39walked out
32:39to my
32:41garage
32:41where he
32:42was
32:42there's
32:42blood
32:43all over
32:43the floor
32:44he has
32:46known
32:47his ex
32:47wife
32:48he actually
32:49took her
32:49to a
32:50cemetery
32:50and told
32:51her to
32:51pick out
32:52her grave
32:52he was
32:53in prison
32:53for that
32:54burning
33:15we still
33:16gotta go
33:16the fishing spot that he took me is a desolate area that is a path between two cornfields
33:35if you didn't know that this place existed you wouldn't be able to find it
33:39like i'm in the middle of nowhere already been beat strangled multiple times hit with a c-clamp
33:48told multiple times i'm never gonna see my kids or my dogs again and then driven here
33:54you could scream out there for hours and nobody would ever hear you and we're still not even there
34:02you can still see my tire tracks from the other night
34:05i'm literally thinking that there's there's nobody out here that can help me there's nobody
34:11that can hear me and now we're by the water what is he gonna do now and i'm brought here
34:19that is where i almost died and then he picks up a piece of driftwood and starts beating me in the
34:26head
34:46every time he strangled me or was on top of me it was don't quit moving no don't give up if you
34:51get moving and you give up you're dead and then he keeps telling me
34:57bitch why won't you just pass out why won't you just pass out
35:03and he wants me to look at him and he keeps telling me to look at him and i won't look at him and
35:08it's like look at me i want to watch your eyes like i watched shaggy's
35:12i look down and i see where i stabbed him at so i took my fingers and i just dug
35:25and it just kind of made me distracted him enough that i could break away from his chokehold
35:30so i get away from him and i get to the back of my car and i'm kind of leaning against it and i'm
35:42looking at my surroundings and i remember just telling myself and my head to run
35:47and my brain is screaming that but my body's not listening
35:52i physically i have nothing left i have been fighting for hours i am exhausted i am messed up
36:09i knew that if he attacked me one more time i wouldn't make it
36:12this whole night he just had this sense of rage about him and for this moment i didn't sense that
36:22so i tried to reason with him
36:30i told him i said look at the stars i said they're so pretty so why don't we just look at the stars
36:37together told him that he had the money we had my car we could just run away together and then i said
36:44but i said i think i'm dying i said i really need to go to the hospital so can i please please go to
36:52the hospital and amazingly he agreed
37:07i was like i will tell him i got in a car accident yes and i'm not going to tell him that this was you
37:13i promise i'm not going to tell him it was you and i got halfway into the between the car and the
37:19emergency room doors i turned and i looked at him and i told him i said if you think for a second i'm
37:25not telling them this was you you're crazy and i ran into the emergency room
37:30this is a picture of me that night in the hospital you can just see how
37:43misshapen my head is you can i mean you can my eyes are almost swollen shut i think there were a few
37:49audible gasps when people saw me because it was just i think such a shocking thing to see it reminds me
37:58how lucky i am to have made it through that night it doesn't i mean it doesn't even look like me
38:05it just doesn't even look like me
38:06a person shouldn't look like that especially from someone that was supposed to love them
38:20that is ray's mugshot the night he tried to kill me
38:38i don't like looking at me i don't like looking at this one
38:47oh i don't like those eyes that one gives me chills
38:52i don't yeah
39:03that is that captures uh the evilness of him i think perfectly just the look in his eyes the look of
39:12hatred he just looks mad and angry and evil my life will never be the same after meeting him
39:21i will live with lifelong consequences and medical issues because of the man in that picture
39:41during the sentencing the judge said about ray that he's been doing this a lot of years and that he
39:47has seen a lot of things but he now knows what the depths of an empty human souls looks like
39:54there's still a chance that he can get out in my lifetime and i don't think that he should ever be
39:59able to i fully 100 believe that ray is evil i believe that he is an evil soulless person i would
40:09never feel safe if he was ever out on the streets again
40:16i always believed in the best in people not anymore i just i look at people and see the worst
40:27i guess i have a little bit less faith in humanity after this unfortunately
40:32my life today is not what i imagined it would be i don't like the memory problems i don't like
40:41the stuttering i'm still healing and still figuring out how to live with all of this stuff
40:48i feel like i'm exposing myself for a lot of people to judge and look at me the wrong way and
40:55say the typical things that people say about domestic violence relationships but i also know
41:04that it can help a lot of people and bring a lot of awareness i always thought of myself as being
41:11independent and strong and i would never take that from anybody and then it happened
41:17still just take it day by day and still try to just survive i guess
41:21going through something like that definitely empowers you and makes me feel stronger i can
41:28face any situation it may not be easy and you may have to fight like hell but you'll get through it