- 2 days ago
Family-Guy-Season 4 Ep10-Model-Misbehavior-Uncensored
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00:00Let's go!
00:00Oh, this is so exciting.
00:02You know, this is the 10th year my father has raced his yacht in the Newport Regatta.
00:06Man, I hope he lets me on his team this year.
00:08I haven't been part of a team since I was with the Four Peters.
00:30Come on, Stewie, let's go.
00:43Yes, yes, I'm just checking the mail.
00:45I say, here's one from the vet.
00:46Give me that.
00:47Good Lord, worms?
00:49You have worms?
00:51I don't have worms, all right?
00:52I just got checked for worms.
00:54Oh, wait, no, I do have worms.
00:56Oh, God.
00:56Oh, what am I going to do?
00:57I can't afford the medication for this.
00:59Well, you could ask Lewis and the fat one.
01:01No, no, no, you cannot tell them about this, please.
01:04Peter is not very discreet with private matters.
01:06Hey, everybody, Meg just had her first period.
01:10Peter, shut up, it's three in the morning.
01:12What the hell's going on out there?
01:15Damn it, people are trying to sleep.
01:16I'm just saying, I'm proud of her.
01:18She's a woman, yay.
01:20Yes, Peter, that's very hot and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now I am exhausted.
01:24Just please don't tell them.
01:26You know, perhaps you should worry a little less about your pride and a little more about
01:29the creepy crawlies shawshanking their way out of your balloon knot.
01:33Come on, kids.
01:33Off to Grandma and Grandpa's house.
01:37Thank God I finally get some time away from the evil monkey in my closet.
01:41Mrs. Pops, Mr. Carter,
02:08Lois, darling, it's wonderful to see you.
02:13Hi, Mom.
02:14Hi, Daddy.
02:14Grandpa!
02:15Hello, everyone.
02:16Hiya, Mr. Pewter Schmidt.
02:18Peter, I see you're still fatter than holy hell.
02:20Ah, you can read me like a book.
02:23So, which of the Latin countries are you from?
02:26The one with the Civil War, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?
02:29Isn't this fun, Peter?
02:32You and I get to stay in my old high school room.
02:35Wow, this looks just like my room at home.
02:37Yeah, except for all the trophies and pictures of friends.
02:40Hmm, that's the second most impressive trophy I've ever seen.
02:45And the Grammy for Album of the Year goes to...
02:48Justin Timberlake.
02:49It actually goes to Nellie.
02:54Nellie.
02:55Wow, Mom, were you a Miss Teen Rhode Island?
02:58I sure was, Meg, when I was 16 years old.
03:01In fact, your mom was offered a modeling contract.
03:04Really?
03:04Why didn't you take it?
03:06Well, I wanted to, but your grandfather wouldn't let me.
03:09But, Daddy, they offered me a contract.
03:12My girl is not lowering herself to modeling.
03:14That sort of uncouth activity is below this family.
03:17Now go away, I'm busy.
03:19Farnsworth?
03:21The usual, sir.
03:39Feeding the worms, are you?
03:41Stewie, shut up, all right?
03:42Yes, I imagine those little fellows are enjoying quite a feast.
03:46You know what's interesting?
03:48I've only been alive for six weeks.
03:50I know nothing of the world beyond this dog's stomach.
03:53And I still find six feet under pretentious.
03:56So, uh, Mr. Pewterschmidt, the, uh, big race is tomorrow, huh?
04:00Bet you're gonna need some big strapping men to help you with your boat.
04:03Are you calling me gay?
04:04No, no, I just thought you might want some extra semen on your, uh, on your poop deck.
04:08Cash scam is your way to make real money.
04:19You could become rich beyond your wildest dreams by selling these fine products over the phone.
04:24Rich beyond my wildest dreams.
04:26I say, I could be a millionaire playboy.
04:28Okay, girls, are you all ready to play?
04:31All right, then.
04:32One, two, three.
04:34Green light.
04:35Red light.
04:36Green light.
04:37Red light.
04:38Oh, Brandy, you're out.
04:40Sorry, you have to sleep with Rob Schneider tonight.
04:42Making cuppies.
04:44I'll remember that.
04:46I was born in 1987.
04:48Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 20th annual Newport Regatta.
04:53Newport would like to extend a special welcome to all those here today who have children stationed overseas in Iraq.
05:01I'm just kidding.
05:03There they are, Team Pewterschmidt.
05:06Say, where's your husband?
05:07Or as I call him, my son-in-law.
05:10Snap, snap.
05:11Oh, I'm sure he'll be along, Daddy.
05:14Ahoy, Mr. Pewterschmidt.
05:16Peter, what the hell are you doing in my bathtub?
05:18Oh, this is not a bathtub.
05:19This is the SS Pewterschmidt kicker.
05:22This is ridiculous.
05:23I won't have a member of my family racing in a bathtub.
05:25Well, Daddy, you didn't want Peter in your boat, so Team Griffin is gonna give you a run for your money.
05:30And now to fire the starting gun is recently paroled presidential assassin John Hinckley.
05:36You fired that gun real nice, John.
05:38Wow, Jodie Foster.
05:40Hey, thanks.
05:41Maybe I was wrong about you.
05:43Maybe I was wrong about all men.
05:51We're not going fast enough.
05:53Loser!
05:54What did he say?
05:57Hello?
05:58I said you're a loser.
05:59Who is this?
06:04There's the finish line.
06:05We can't let him beat us.
06:07We gotta lose some extra weight.
06:08Quick, everyone take off your clothes.
06:09It's working.
06:15Just need a little more.
06:17Ah!
06:18We love you, honey.
06:20Nice.
06:21Yeah.
06:21All right.
06:22All right.
06:23All right.
06:25Lois, what the hell were you doing out there?
06:27Not listening to you for once, Daddy.
06:29And look what happened.
06:31I had a lot of fun.
06:32I should have stopped listening to you a long time ago.
06:35Let's go home, Peter.
06:36Right behind you.
06:37Hey, where's Meg?
06:39What is it, sir?
06:40That's what we call a manatee, boys.
06:42Or in nautical slang, the sea cow.
06:49Damn these worms.
06:50Oh, this itch.
06:51Brian, what the hell are you doing?
06:52Oh, uh, uh, nothing.
06:53Just, uh, some, uh, Pilates.
06:56Don't lie to me, Brian.
06:57I know what this is.
06:59You're looking for an ass race.
07:01First one to the kitchen wins.
07:02Go!
07:03Still got the worms, eh?
07:05Yeah, that stupid medicine's 300 bucks.
07:07Hmm.
07:08Well, let me make you a proposal.
07:09I'll front you the money, and you pay it off by working for me.
07:13Cash scam?
07:13Are you kidding?
07:14I don't want anything to do with that pyramid scheme.
07:16Oh, very well, then.
07:17Enjoy your worms.
07:18Wait, wait.
07:19What would I have to do?
07:21Just be in my room tomorrow at 9 a.m. for orientation.
07:24Until then, keep this in mind.
07:26Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
07:30See you tomorrow.
07:31Hey, everybody.
07:33Wait till you see this.
07:34Oh, my God.
07:35Moveable printed type.
07:37We must keep this from the serfs, lest they gain literacy and threaten the landed gentry.
07:41What you got there, my lord?
07:42Nothing.
07:42Back to your turnips.
07:44Look, it's a picture of us at the regatta.
07:46Wow, Mom, you look pretty.
07:49Thank you, Chris.
07:50I thought so, too.
07:52And you know what?
07:52I'm going to take that chance my father never let me take when I was younger.
07:56I'm going to become a model.
07:58Hey, that's fantastic, Lois.
08:00And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.
08:02Me, too.
08:02Me, too.
08:03Oh, God, Meg, that's sick.
08:06That's your mother.
08:07I'm just trying to fit in.
08:09Get out.
08:09Get out of this house.
08:11I said no.
08:12That's good about your modeling, Lois.
08:19Here are your pictures, Lois.
08:21They sure are terrific.
08:23Thank you, Mort.
08:24I'm trying to get into modeling.
08:26That's great.
08:27Oh, hey, get out of here.
08:29Hey, go on.
08:30Get out.
08:30I didn't hurt anybody.
08:32Scat, mister.
08:33I'm no need down.
08:34I'm your friend.
08:35That greased-up deaf guy is going to be the dead of me.
08:38Like, business isn't bad enough already.
08:40Well, gosh, Mort, you ever think about sending out a mailer?
08:43Because I know where you could get a good deal on a model.
08:46Ah, I'm touching on the candy.
08:48Get out.
08:49Get out.
08:50Ugh.
09:05What the hell is all this?
09:06Ah, Brian, you're here.
09:07Good.
09:08Okay, let me give you the rundown.
09:09Uh, this is your work area.
09:11Please keep personal knick-knacks tasteful.
09:13You get 25 minutes for lunch.
09:15And, um, uh, enjoy it here.
09:17Welcome aboard.
09:21Yes?
09:21Uh, it's Brian.
09:23Oh, yes, the new fellow.
09:24Come on in.
09:25Uh, what, what, uh, exactly am I supposed to do?
09:28You pick up the phone and you sell, sell, sell.
09:31But before you go thinking it's all seriousness,
09:33the first Friday of every month is wacky tacky tie day.
09:36So, you know, start picking up some fun tacky ties to wear.
09:41Oh, we're, uh, we're done.
09:47Here you go, guys.
09:49Lois, could I be a son of a bitch and impose on you to sign one of your flyers for me?
09:55Of course, Cleveland.
09:57Oh, man, I can't believe I'm sleeping with a model.
09:59I'm luckier than the state of Rhode Island.
10:01Well, I can't decide what to call this place.
10:04We'll flip a coin.
10:05All right.
10:05Heads, Rhode Island.
10:06Tails, cock-a-poo-poo-pee-pee-shire.
10:09Pardon me.
10:10Are you Lois Griffin, the Goldman's pharmacy girl?
10:13Yes, I suppose I am.
10:15Karen Parada, modeling agent.
10:17Listen, sugar, I've seen your stuff.
10:19You're a breath of fresh air in my stoma.
10:21I could get you a lot more work if you signed with my agency.
10:26Really?
10:27Oh, my God, how exciting.
10:29Well, here's my card.
10:31Give me a call.
10:32Now, perhaps some young gentleman would like to light me up.
10:35Allow me.
10:37So, uh, what's, uh, what's going on?
10:39You ever get freaky with that thing or what?
10:43Um, Brian, could you come in here for one second?
10:47Yeah, what is it?
10:48Oh, hang on, hang on one second.
10:50Yes, uh, Grover, what is it?
10:52This has to be quick.
10:52I am so pressed.
10:54Yes, the letter G is wonderful.
10:56Of course, and the number six.
10:58Oh, okay, okay.
11:00Gro-Grover, Grover, Grover, Grover, Grover!
11:04Grover!
11:05You know what?
11:06If you're gonna shout, we can just talk later.
11:08Oh, oh, okay, all right, you know what?
11:09Call me back when you calm down.
11:11Uh, you wanted something?
11:12Oh, yes, can you go ahead and send Lois a congratulatory basket?
11:16Oh, and if Cookie Monster calls, tell him I am not talking to him until he gets out of rehab.
11:23Contraband check.
11:25What are these?
11:26I don't know.
11:27What do you mean you don't know?
11:28I-I-I don't know how they got there.
11:30Well, I think you do know.
11:32No, no, uh, uh, uh, Derek was in here earlier.
11:34He was, uh, making the beds.
11:36He probably put them, uh, I-I was in the john.
11:38You guys are Nazis, man!
11:43You're freaking Nazis!
11:44Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
11:49Well, here we are, Lois, your first professional photo shoot.
11:53Oh, Karen, this is so exciting.
11:55Knock him dead, honey.
11:57Hey, hey, Peter Griffin, how's it going?
12:01I'm, uh, I'm hitting that.
12:03Hi, is, uh, Mr. Donald Nguyen there, please?
12:20And is he the head of the household?
12:22If-if I could just have a few moments of your time...
12:24Hello?
12:26Oh, Brian, there you are.
12:27Uh, can I talk to you about something?
12:29Uh, yeah, what is it?
12:30That coffee mug you have on your desk that says Life's a Beach?
12:34Um, that's dangerously close to the word bitch, isn't it?
12:38Uh, yeah, that's the joke.
12:40Oh, absolutely, and-and nobody appreciates a joke like Stewie.
12:43And, uh, you know, between you and me, I think it's a stitch.
12:46But some of the other employees have found it offensive.
12:49Other employees? Who else works here besides me?
12:51Fuck you! That's who works here!
12:57Dinner's almost ready, kids.
12:58Wow, Lois, look at you.
13:01You're like Britney Spears.
13:02Except you're not a fat guy.
13:04I get it.
13:06Dad, how could you be okay with Mom parading herself around like this?
13:10I mean, she's half naked.
13:11It makes all women look bad.
13:13Meg, who let you back in the house?
13:19Oh, Karen, come on in.
13:21Lois, I got your new headshots,
13:22and I set up a shoot for you over at Glamour next Monday.
13:25But, sugar, you're gonna need these to stay on top.
13:28Diet pills?
13:29Karen, I'm not gonna take these.
13:30I don't need to.
13:31Lois, sooner or later, every model needs a little boost, huh?
13:35I just want to make sure you got everything you need.
13:38Hey, you like Pez?
13:39Sure.
13:40Hey, who's putting together a puzzle?
13:48Because I just found a hot piece.
13:51Wow, Lois, you look great.
13:53I'd like to split you in half like a piece of lumber.
13:55Oh, thank you, Glenn.
13:57Yeah, Lois, I'd like to wear you like a hockey mask.
14:00Oh, you guys.
14:02Okay, easy, fellas.
14:03Lois, I'd like to make a caramel-colored baby with you.
14:07Take it easy, Cleveland.
14:09Take your jacket off.
14:10Jacket off.
14:11Jacket off.
14:12Jacket off.
14:13Jacket off.
14:14Jacket off.
14:14All right, all right, that's it.
14:15That's enough.
14:16Peter, what are you doing?
14:17Lois, if you being a model means you're gonna be eye candy for the whole town,
14:20and I ain't going for it.
14:22Excuse me?
14:23Who do you think you are, my father?
14:24Lois, I think Meg was right, lowering yourself and women and something and all that noise.
14:29You can't stop me from modeling, Peter.
14:31This is important to me.
14:32I am going to the top, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it.
14:38Who the hell does he think he is?
14:51Come on, come on.
14:56Go away!
14:57We now return to...
15:02Uh-huh.
15:04Uh-huh.
15:06Uh-uh.
15:07Uh-huh.
15:12Hey there, sweetie.
15:13I got a wax this morning, and let's just say you're cleared for landing, huh?
15:17Giggity.
15:18Lois, what the hell's up with you lately?
15:20You're acting all weird, and you're staying out all night.
15:22I was just out with some of the girls, and you're not gonna believe this.
15:25I got invited to a Vogue magazine party.
15:29Ah!
15:30That guest list is more exclusive than the Garden of Eden.
15:33So, basically, you can eat from any tree you want except this one.
15:37Can we sit underneath it?
15:38You know, I would just not go near it at all.
15:40Brian, thanks for showing up so promptly for your quarterly evaluation.
15:47Now then, I'm going to do something I call the compliment sandwich, where I say something
15:51good, then talk about where you need improvement, and then end with something good.
15:55Whatever you gotta do.
15:56Okay, um...
15:58Oh, let's see.
15:59Something good, something good, something good.
16:01You look like Snoopy, and it makes me smile.
16:05Where you need improvement.
16:06You have smelly dog farts.
16:10Something good, something good.
16:12Oh, you really dazzled that rep from the Cincinnati office last week.
16:16That is sensational.
16:18You really made me feel confident about those numbers.
16:20Listen, if you're ever looking for a change of scenery, we could sure use a fellow like
16:24you in Cincinnati.
16:25That was you in disguise.
16:26No, it wasn't.
16:27Yes, it was.
16:27No, it wasn't.
16:28Fine, it wasn't.
16:29Ha!
16:29It was!
16:32Mr. Pewterschmidt, I need your help.
16:34Lois is out of control.
16:35I mean, she's acting crazier than I did.
16:38That time I tried ecstasy.
16:41Oh, Brian.
16:43Your fur is so soft.
16:47Oh, your ears.
16:49Your ears are like dog ears.
16:53Oh, this couch.
16:59Stewie, your head is so smooth.
17:02How is that even...
17:04How are you doing that?
17:06How are you doing that?
17:08Oh, everything here is fantastic.
17:12Oh, these clothes.
17:17I'm really worried about her, Mr. Pewterschmidt.
17:33I just figured I'd come to you since you were always good at reeling her in.
17:36Well, Lois was always a wild stallion.
17:38But don't worry.
17:39I know how to control her.
17:40And I'll help you.
17:42But first, you have to do something for me.
17:44Eat this pine cone.
17:45Well, uh...
17:46Eat it.
17:47It will amuse me.
17:50How is it?
17:51How does it taste?
17:51It's awful.
17:52Finish it.
17:53Eat it.
17:54I hate it.
17:54Eat it.
17:55Eat it.
17:56Swallow it.
17:56It hurts.
17:57This is for Lois.
17:59Go on.
18:02Good.
18:03All right.
18:03We good to go?
18:04Yep.
18:04All right.
18:10How's my man tan?
18:11Here we go.
18:12All set.
18:12Good.
18:13A little body glitter for you.
18:15Yeah.
18:15Yeah.
18:15That's hot.
18:16That's hot.
18:17All right.
18:17Let's do this.
18:21Check out these ribs, Lois.
18:23Oh, yeah?
18:24That's nothing.
18:26Go ahead.
18:26Try them out.
18:27Do you see Jimmy Smits in there?
18:43Yeah.
18:43Yeah, that was cool.
18:46So, uh, what'd you want to see me about?
18:48You know, Brian, there was a note in the suggestion box that says, Stewie should eat a steaming bag
18:53of, well, I'm not going to say the last word, but I think you know what it is.
18:57Look, Brian, a corporation is a lot like a centipede.
19:01It only works if all the legs are moving toward the same end.
19:05And you know what you are, Brian?
19:08You're a busted leg.
19:09What?
19:10Are you firing me?
19:11And don't think about coming back and shooting up the place, because security has your picture.
19:17What the hell are you guys doing?
19:19Lois, you're not leaving this room until you agree to stop this modeling thing once and
19:23for all.
19:23This isn't going to work, you guys.
19:25Why can't you understand?
19:27I'm doing what I want.
19:28Oh, jeez, Carter, what are we doing?
19:30I mean, if Lois wants to be a model, we don't got any right to stop her.
19:34You really mean that, Peter?
19:37Of course I do.
19:38I just want you to be happy.
19:39This is ridiculous.
19:40No daughter of mine is going to be happy.
19:42Excuse me, Carter.
19:43I think I owe you this.
19:45That's for giving me a book last Christmas.
19:47You're rich, you jerk.
19:49Well, Lois, I guess you should go ahead and get back to your party.
19:53What's wrong?
19:55Aren't you going to go do your little turn on the catwalk, Lois?
19:58Or on the catwalk?
19:59Yeah, on the catwalk?
20:01Do your little turn on the catwalk?
20:03Well, now that you say you're fine with it, to be honest, I'm not really sure I want to
20:07do it anymore.
20:08I think all I really wanted was the freedom to know I could.
20:12And now I have it because I have you.
20:14You sure do, Lois.
20:17What are we going to do with him?
20:20Hey, you want to make him really mad, Lois?
20:21Let's have sex on his back like we used to.
20:25Oh, what the hell is going on?
20:28Oh, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
20:30Ah!
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