- 5 months ago
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00:00Hi, I'm Rochelle from Iowa. Please like and subscribe.
00:05I was just a baby when mom and dad divorced and growing up, my mom was pretty much my whole world.
00:11We did everything together, walking our dogs, swimming, and reading on rainy days.
00:16Once mom took me to the playground and kids were playing hopscotch.
00:20I wanted to join them, but I didn't know how.
00:22So I started crying until mom picked me up and started jumping and playing.
00:27Some kids laughed, some stared, and some begged their moms to hold them.
00:31The moms didn't like that and glared at us, but mom didn't care.
00:35She jumped harder, and we fell badly on the ground.
00:38I got bruises on my face, and mom broke her leg.
00:41Some moms came running to help us, and I swear some of them were laughing, mean witches.
00:47I wanted to punch them, but I was too little.
00:50And yeah, mom and I were inseparable.
00:53And as a kid, I was really shy and had a hard time making friends.
00:57I would just sit on the sidelines watching other children play.
01:00But whenever someone tried to talk to me, I'd just freeze.
01:04Do you want to play kickball with us, Rochelle?
01:06I… I… I… I… just forget it.
01:09I did well in school, but every year I got a little more lonely.
01:13By the time I was eight, everyone treated me like I was invisible.
01:17Some teachers didn't even know my name.
01:19Once our math teacher was absent, so the other class's teacher came to fill in her place for the day.
01:24She was old and grumpy, and she smelled like Home Depot.
01:27When she saw me, she said,
01:29Oh my god, did someone bring their sister to school again?
01:32For the thousandth time, don't bring your relatives to school they don't attend.
01:36This is not a BTS concert.
01:38Give me your mom's number.
01:40I'm calling her to pick you up right now.
01:42I swear I don't get paid enough to do this.
01:45But… but… I… I'm the school…
01:47Excuse me?
01:48Then some of my classmates interfered and told her that I attended this school.
01:52She wasn't convinced until I swore on my grandma's grave.
01:56And then she checked the class list and left me alone.
01:59Duh.
02:00I'd been going to the same school since kindergarten.
02:02The only people who knew I existed were the mean kids who loved to pick on me.
02:07I never understood why, but I guess it was because I was an easy target and wouldn't fight them back.
02:12They'd be stealing my lunch, calling me a ghost and whatnot.
02:16I don't understand what I did wrong.
02:18They're always giggling when they see me.
02:20Is it my hair?
02:21Mom, do I smell?
02:23Wait, is it my big nose?
02:25No, Duckling.
02:26You are perfect.
02:28Sometimes, kids are just mean.
02:30Don't give up, though.
02:31In time, they'll see the real you.
02:34This went on for five years.
02:36But when I turned 13, I swore it would end.
02:39I needed to find a way to make friends and get the other kids to leave me alone.
02:44If they didn't like who I was, I'd just have to change.
02:47I talked my mom into taking me on a shopping spree.
02:50I changed my whole style.
02:52New shoes, a new jacket, even clip-on earrings because I didn't have my ears pierced.
02:57My mom wouldn't let me dye my hair, so I got a new haircut instead.
03:00But when I went to school the next day, well, you could say the outcome was disappointing.
03:05Ew, who are you supposed to be?
03:07Who, me?
03:08This is just how I dress.
03:10Well, stop it.
03:11You'll look like a weirdo.
03:13And just like that, my confidence was shattered.
03:16Julie, the most popular girl in my school, hated how I looked.
03:20I felt so stupid.
03:22I waited for the end of the day, then ran home and cried in my room.
03:26But then, I had a moment of realization.
03:29What does Julie have that I don't?
03:31If she can be so popular, I can too.
03:34Fine.
03:35If a new look wasn't enough, I'd just have to do something more extreme.
03:38I'd be like Julie.
03:40I made a list of everything she did.
03:42The food she ate.
03:43The movies she talked about.
03:44The sports she played.
03:45Don't ask me how I got all this info.
03:47Shy kids have their ways.
03:50Shy kids are the scariest.
03:52Don't be a shy kid.
03:53If I couldn't get friends by being myself, I was ready to fake it till I made it.
03:58Three weeks later, I sat down at the popular girl's table in the cafeteria.
04:02Everyone stared at me.
04:04I was panicking.
04:05Julie loved volleyball.
04:07I wanted to talk about it to win her over.
04:09Volleyball.
04:10Ahem.
04:11Vollier, according to the Oxford Dictionary, means a lot of bullets, stones, etc.
04:17that are fired or thrown at at the same time.
04:20Ball.
04:21Well, it's kind of the same thing, but not a bullet or a stone or etc.
04:26And not thrown at the same time.
04:28Everyone at the table was looking at me like I had two heads.
04:32Someone get this freak away from me?
04:34Okay, I needed a new plan.
04:36So, I spent the whole summer planning.
04:38And after much thinking, I knew what I had to do.
04:41I would pretend to have spent the summer in Italy.
04:44I even practiced an Italian accent.
04:46No one else from my school had ever been to Italy.
04:48They would have to think I was cool.
04:50On the first day back from summer break, the homeroom teacher called on me.
04:54And I knew this was my chance to show off my new accent.
04:57I'm here.
04:58Since when do you talk like that?
05:00Oh, this?
05:01I spent the summer in Italy.
05:04Julie burst out laughing behind me.
05:06Haha, no you didn't, you little liar.
05:09Brittany saw you in the library.
05:11You're lying about going on vacation.
05:13Oh yeah, that's a new one.
05:15Thank God you didn't work in a zoo during the summer break.
05:18Imagine how you'd be talking now.
05:20Who lies about going on vacation?
05:23Someone whose mom died.
05:25I couldn't believe I said it.
05:27But it was too late to take it back.
05:29Julie stopped laughing.
05:30And everyone got quiet.
05:32The teacher was busy at his desk and didn't notice.
05:34Wow, I'm sorry Rochelle.
05:37Sam was comforting me?
05:39I didn't remember the last time she'd even spoken to me.
05:41Yeah, I'm sorry too.
05:43I didn't know.
05:44Do you want to like, sit with me at lunch or something?
05:48Sure, I guess that'd be okay.
05:50I didn't know why I said that.
05:52I just panicked.
05:53But suddenly, I had a spot at the popular girls' table.
05:57Kids who had always bullied me were now fighting over who got to buy me lunch.
06:01I'd gone from being the most hated girl in my school to being the most loved one overnight.
06:06Everyone was sympathizing with me and wanted me to feel better.
06:10Not wanting to lose all the attention, Julie took me under her wing
06:13and started acting like a big sister to me.
06:15We hung out between classes and she even walked me home after school.
06:19So, like, who's taking care of you now that your mom's, um, gone?
06:24My aunt is looking after me for now.
06:27I'll probably have to move in with her later.
06:29Her house is even bigger than my mom's.
06:31And she has a pool.
06:32Not that I'm okay enough to swim and have fun.
06:35I'm still sad.
06:36But I thought it was worth mentioning that she had a pool.
06:39I ran inside before Julie could ask any more questions.
06:42My mom was in the kitchen cooking spaghetti.
06:44Oh, hi, Rochelle.
06:45How was school?
06:46Sorry, Mom.
06:47Can't talk now.
06:48Lots of homework.
06:49I locked myself in my room and tried to catch my breath.
06:52How could I have lied about that?
06:54And about my mom, of all people.
06:56But I couldn't go back now.
06:58Everyone would hate me even more than they did before.
07:01Even my mom would hate me.
07:02I would just have to keep pretending my mom had died.
07:05Forever if I had to.
07:06What I was about to do was crazy.
07:09But what choice did I have?
07:11It's okay.
07:12It'll be worth it.
07:13The next day, everyone at school was nice to me.
07:16Kids gave me their snacks and even offered to do my homework for me.
07:19All I had to do was walk around looking gloomy.
07:22And they did the rest.
07:23Teachers at my school were always super busy.
07:25So none of them even noticed what was going on.
07:28So what happened?
07:29I mean, how did she pass away?
07:31Like, was she sick or something?
07:33The whole table got quiet.
07:35Julie elbowed Sam, but you could tell she wanted to know too.
07:38Luckily, I was prepared.
07:40I handed Sam something I'd made on my computer the night before.
07:43It was a fake obituary with an old picture of my mom and everything.
07:47I had just copied one from a newspaper and changed a couple of things.
07:50All the kids leaned closer to read it.
07:53Sudden illness?
07:54That's awful, Rochelle.
07:56Really awful.
07:57I can't imagine my mom dying.
07:59How are you keeping it together?
08:01Well, having friends like you helps a lot.
08:04Everyone gave me a group hug.
08:06But all I could think about was how bad lying felt.
08:09I had never meant for things to get so out of hand.
08:12But now, I was trapped.
08:14Maybe if I just lied well enough, everything would work out okay.
08:18That night at dinner, I was bursting to tell mom everything.
08:22But I couldn't.
08:23I got invited to go roller skating with Julie and her friends.
08:26Oh, Duckling, that's wonderful.
08:28Do you want me to drop you off at her house or…
08:31No!
08:32Rochelle, is everything alright?
08:34Everything's fine.
08:35I just… feel like walking.
08:37What's been going on with you?
08:39You've been acting strange recently.
08:41Hiding things and having outbursts?
08:43I'm worried about you.
08:45I'm okay, really.
08:46I'd love to meet some of your new friends.
08:48You will, mom.
08:49Just… not yet.
08:51The better things got at school, the worse they got at home.
08:54Pretending my mom abandoned me was stressful, especially since I had to face her at home after.
09:00I started yelling at the littlest things, storming off, and even throwing stuff.
09:04I knew I was acting crazy, but I couldn't stop.
09:07Two weeks passed and still no one had found out.
09:10It was getting harder and harder to keep track of all my lies.
09:13The popular kids' table was starting to feel like a prison.
09:17How come you never invite us over to your house?
09:20It was always just me and my mom there.
09:22I'm just not ready to have anyone else in it.
09:24But your aunt's there, right?
09:26Oh, right.
09:27Yeah, I'm close with my aunt.
09:29I call her Tito.
09:31Her name is Time.
09:32Poor thing.
09:33Mom is luckier.
09:34I mean, was, was luckier.
09:36Her name's Date.
09:37But yeah, I'm trying to adapt to the new situation.
09:41I can't believe they still make you go to school and do homework.
09:44You should, like, get a year off or something.
09:47Do you want me to talk to the principal for you?
09:49No, don't do that.
09:50I mean, uh, I need school.
09:52It helps distract me.
09:54And I've already talked to the principal anyway.
09:56The week after was Julie's birthday, and she threw a huge party at her house.
10:00Half the school was there.
10:02Even some parents and teachers who were friends with Julie's parents.
10:05I was laughing and joking with some of the other girls when I saw Julie start to do a speech.
10:10I want to thank everyone for being here to celebrate.
10:13Especially my best friend, Rochelle.
10:15It's so sad that it took your mother's death for us to become friends.
10:19But I'm so glad to know you now.
10:21Her mother's what?
10:23I couldn't move.
10:24I couldn't breathe.
10:25There was my mother, standing at the back of the crowd.
10:28How had she heard about the party?
10:30Who had told her.
10:31This couldn't be happening.
10:32Excuse me.
10:33Are you her mom?
10:35Yes.
10:36Rochelle, do you want to explain what's going on?
10:39Oh, wow.
10:40That's very MSA.
10:42Everyone stared at me.
10:44I wanted to disappear.
10:45People were talking, but all I heard was buzzing.
10:48Julie was saying something and pointing at me.
10:51Then my mother grabbed me by the arm and led me out of the party.
10:54She didn't say anything until we were driving back to our house.
10:57You need to explain yourself.
11:00I broke down.
11:01Everything that had happened swept over me at once and I told my mother everything.
11:05I'm so sorry, mom.
11:07I don't know why I lied.
11:08I didn't mean to hurt you.
11:10I'm so sorry.
11:11My mother was quiet for a long time.
11:14Just driving.
11:15When she finally looked at me, there were tears in her eyes.
11:18It breaks my heart that you were in so much pain and couldn't tell me.
11:22You're my daughter and I only want what's best for you.
11:25I wish I had known that you were so lonely.
11:28I know you didn't mean for all this to happen.
11:30Now you have to fix things.
11:32I didn't sleep at all that night.
11:34I was so scared to see Julie and everyone else at school.
11:37But when I got there, no one teased me.
11:40The only people who talked to me at all were my teachers.
11:43Everyone else ignored me, just like I was eight years old again.
11:46I was sitting alone at my old lunch table when Julie joined me.
11:50None of the other popular girls followed.
11:52You don't have to pretend to like me anymore.
11:54I was never pretending, Rochelle.
11:56I do like you.
11:58I tried to tell you at the party, but your mom dragged you away before I could.
12:02Why would you even talk to me after what I did?
12:04I lied to you.
12:05I faked about my mom leaving me even though she's the best mom in the world.
12:10I'm crazy.
12:11You aren't crazy.
12:12You're lonely.
12:13And the cure for loneliness is a friend.
12:16A real one this time.
12:18You'll stop being popular if you hang out with me.
12:20There are more important things than popularity.
12:23You really want to be my friend?
12:25Yeah, I do.
12:27Dr.
12:28Dr.
12:34Dr.
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