- 2 days ago
Married To A Superstar As The Housewife – Full HD Movie
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You and your husband are so sweet.
00:00:02You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:00:05Sweet?
00:00:06We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:00:11Look at them. That's what we call sweet.
00:00:14I wish my hubby was like that.
00:00:17Fuck! That's actually my husband!
00:00:19You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:00:21Aubrey!
00:00:22Let me explain!
00:00:24Wait! Wait! Wait!
00:00:26Stop!
00:00:27All right! Enough! Cut it out!
00:00:33I wouldn't have to be out here messing around
00:00:37if you didn't push me to do it.
00:00:40Look at yourself. Sloppy.
00:00:42You're rude.
00:00:44Totally unfeminine.
00:00:47I want a divorce.
00:00:49Crazy lady.
00:00:57You're horrible. Get that scumbag!
00:01:00No need for karma. I can't handle this myself.
00:01:02Hand me the car key.
00:01:13Chris.
00:01:14Leo snuck the role you wanted.
00:01:16No way.
00:01:17Why him?
00:01:18I cannot understand that.
00:01:20He has fewer Instagram followers than me
00:01:22and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
00:01:24The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:01:28Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:01:32But what about you?
00:01:34You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:01:38What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years,
00:01:45but she's married and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:01:49You think that would lend me the role?
00:01:51Sounds more like excuse me.
00:01:53That's not good enough, huh?
00:01:55All right.
00:01:56Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her,
00:02:00vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:02:05Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:02:09But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
00:02:13All right.
00:02:16I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:02:22Damn it!
00:02:24Fuck.
00:02:31I'm so sorry.
00:02:32Are you nuts?
00:02:33Nuts?
00:02:34Is that all your men got?
00:02:38Yeah.
00:02:39I'm nuts.
00:02:40But you guys eat those cooked by nuts.
00:02:42Sleep with nuts.
00:02:43Have kids with nuts.
00:02:44You are the real nuts here.
00:02:46No offense.
00:02:47But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:02:49I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:02:54Only supermodels!
00:02:58Screw you, fuck Chris Roberts!
00:03:00I sold the house.
00:03:01You got till tonight to move out.
00:03:02Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:03:13If you want to divorce me, fine!
00:03:14Go ahead!
00:03:15But how dare you sell our house without my consent!
00:03:19I'll sue you!
00:03:21Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:03:22Don't mess with me.
00:03:23Or a fight for a custody for our staff.
00:03:24A jobless house like what you won't stand a chance.
00:03:29Despicable!
00:03:30Despicable!
00:03:31So, you divorced?
00:03:32It's none of your business!
00:03:33Marry me!
00:03:34Are you insane?
00:03:35My car's worth $4 million.
00:03:36I'm not going to sue you!
00:03:37I'm not going to sue you!
00:03:38I'm not going to sue you!
00:03:39Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:03:40Don't mess with me.
00:03:41Or a fight for a custody for our staff.
00:03:42A jobless house like what you won't stand a chance.
00:03:43Despicable!
00:03:44So, you divorced?
00:03:45It's none of your business!
00:03:46Marry me!
00:03:47Are you insane?
00:03:49My car's worth $4 million.
00:04:02Do you want to talk about marriage or compensation?
00:04:09This way, ma'am.
00:04:14We'll trust that, ma'am.
00:04:22Welcome, ma'am.
00:04:27Wow!
00:04:34So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:04:37I've seen it in a magazine.
00:04:39So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:04:56No.
00:04:57This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:04:59Yours is upstairs.
00:05:00Bigger and better.
00:05:02Forget that.
00:05:03Come sign the contract.
00:05:08Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:05:10Sorry, what's your name again?
00:05:12Aubrey.
00:05:13Okay.
00:05:14Aubrey, listen to me.
00:05:16I love you for more than 10 years.
00:05:19I heard that you're divorced.
00:05:22So, I popped the question right away.
00:05:25What?
00:05:26Really?
00:05:27Are you kidding me?
00:05:29Aubrey, this marriage is just for show.
00:05:31I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:05:35Relax.
00:05:36Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:05:38Great.
00:05:39That's amazing.
00:05:40Once I secure the role and back that Oscar, we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:05:47So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:05:51Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:05:55Don't worry about that.
00:05:56I'm gonna pay you an acting salary.
00:05:58The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:06:01You're Chris Roberts.
00:06:03Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:06:05Considering our attitude, I'm gonna go with minimum wage.
00:06:08Usually, they pay around 500 grand.
00:06:11And now, 150K.
00:06:13That's enough for you.
00:06:16Per year?
00:06:17Per month, of course.
00:06:31So, you have a son?
00:06:33Don't get me wrong.
00:06:34Just wanna know more about my wife.
00:06:38Yeah.
00:06:39His name is Luke.
00:06:40He's nine.
00:06:41In summer camp, I'm aware of the divorce.
00:06:50Good lord.
00:06:59That looks calorie packed.
00:07:02First, it's not for you.
00:07:04Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:07:07Geez, touchy.
00:07:10It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:07:13Keep that up.
00:07:15Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:07:17We're meeting the director.
00:07:19Already?
00:07:20This is your first time stepping out as my wife and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:07:26Need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:07:28Because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife.
00:07:32Come on.
00:07:33This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:07:35I'll solve this problem right now.
00:07:38Hey, Brad.
00:07:39Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:07:44Oh.
00:07:45My.
00:07:46God.
00:07:47I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:07:50But luckily, I'm a Hollywood stylish.
00:07:53Alright, girls.
00:07:54Let's get going.
00:07:55Hmm.
00:07:56Right here.
00:07:57I got it.
00:07:58Are you okay, baby?
00:07:59Watch out.
00:08:00Please calm down.
00:08:01Can't you sit up back here?
00:08:02Sit down.
00:08:03Get him out of here.
00:08:04Oh my God.
00:08:05Are you okay, baby?
00:08:06Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:08:11She's my wife now, so yes, it's worth it.
00:08:12Hmm.
00:08:13Baby, well, I did my best today.
00:08:14Remember, Rome wasn't built in the day.
00:08:15Rome wasn't built in the day.
00:08:39How do I look?
00:08:55Wow.
00:08:56You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:09:01Wow.
00:09:02You sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:09:04Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:09:08Julia, her acting skills surpassed mine.
00:09:11That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:09:14Let's go, girls.
00:09:15Thank you so much, guys.
00:09:17No problem, baby.
00:09:19Geez.
00:09:20How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:09:24Just like Kardashians.
00:09:26Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:09:29God is fair.
00:09:31Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique,
00:09:34he gave you unbrittle confidence.
00:09:37Wow.
00:09:38You're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:09:43We look so perfect together.
00:09:45It's a match made in heaven.
00:09:47No, no, no.
00:09:59There's no spark between you two.
00:10:01You don't love your wife at all.
00:10:03I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:10:05But we haven't even started talking.
00:10:07You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:10:10I don't feel your love for her.
00:10:13He's crazy about me.
00:10:15The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:10:19I love you, baby.
00:10:21That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:10:26Come back to me.
00:10:31Or you'll learn to feel proper.
00:10:34Geez.
00:10:36Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:10:41Yes.
00:10:42But he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:10:44Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water?
00:10:46Any steak?
00:10:47Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:10:52You guessed right.
00:10:54Much better now.
00:11:01Can you eat quieter?
00:11:12You're disturbing my reading.
00:11:22You're married?
00:11:23What's up?
00:11:24What?
00:11:25Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:11:27Of course.
00:11:28I can cover your shift today.
00:11:31Where are you going?
00:11:32The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:11:43Aubrey.
00:11:44What are you doing here?
00:11:46You're not stalking me, are you?
00:11:48Listen.
00:11:49Stop harassing me.
00:11:50Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:11:52Sorry to disappoint you.
00:11:55But I'm married too.
00:11:56It's not just you who found someone new.
00:11:59Jim!
00:12:00I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:12:06I do have a husband.
00:12:08And he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:12:12If he's so great, why's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:12:18Come on, man.
00:12:19Don't just stand there.
00:12:20Serve us.
00:12:22I want hot tea.
00:12:34Geez.
00:12:35You trying to scald me?
00:12:37Are you satisfied now?
00:12:38That's better.
00:12:39Drink up, dear.
00:12:40Ouch.
00:12:41This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:12:44Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:12:47It's whopping two carrots.
00:12:48I heard your wedding ring was a freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:12:55Wow.
00:12:56Good for you.
00:12:57And when you guys eventually split, you will get to the end of the day.
00:13:00I'm sorry.
00:13:01I'm sorry.
00:13:02I'm sorry.
00:13:03I'm sorry.
00:13:04I'm sorry.
00:13:05I'm sorry.
00:13:06I'm sorry.
00:13:07I'm sorry.
00:13:08I'm sorry.
00:13:09I'm sorry.
00:13:10I'm sorry.
00:13:11I'm sorry.
00:13:12I'm sorry.
00:13:13I'm sorry.
00:13:14I'm sorry.
00:13:15I'm sorry.
00:13:16You will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:13:22Don't stoop their level.
00:13:24You, go and get the sticks ready in 10 minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
00:13:29I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:13:32Then figured it out.
00:13:35Wait.
00:13:37Top of my water.
00:13:38Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:13:39I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:13:53Aubrey, why are you waitressing?
00:13:55We're not really married.
00:13:56What I do is none of your business.
00:13:57Let's go.
00:13:58The advertisers are waiting.
00:13:59Keep an eye on her.
00:14:00Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:14:01I'm not her agent.
00:14:02But she's my wife.
00:14:03At least on paper.
00:14:04Okay, guys.
00:14:05If you don't need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:14:06Oh my god.
00:14:07My way.
00:14:08It's gone.
00:14:09Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my way.
00:14:12Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
00:14:27I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn, let alone steal it.
00:14:29Then I won't help.
00:14:31Let's warn you somewhere.
00:14:33See?
00:14:34Denying won't help!
00:14:36Let's arm you somewhere!
00:14:40See? This is proof!
00:14:47I'm gonna have you FIRED!
00:14:49No way! You're framing me on purpose!
00:14:57Got it. Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:15:00You and your husband are so sweet.
00:15:05You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:15:08Sweet?
00:15:09We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:15:14Look at them. That's what we call sweet.
00:15:17I wish my hubby was like that.
00:15:20Fuck! That's actually my husband!
00:15:22You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:15:24Aubrey! Let me explain!
00:15:27Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
00:15:29Wait! Stop!
00:15:34Alright! Enough!
00:15:35Cut it out!
00:15:37I wouldn't have to be out here.
00:15:39Lesson around.
00:15:41If you didn't push me to do it.
00:15:44Look at yourself.
00:15:45Sloppy.
00:15:47Rude.
00:15:48Totally.
00:15:49Unfeminine.
00:15:50I want a divorce.
00:15:53Crazy lady.
00:16:02Karma will get that scumbag!
00:16:03No need for karma. I can't handle this myself.
00:16:05Hand me the car key.
00:16:06Chris, Leo's not the rule you wanted.
00:16:19No way.
00:16:21Why him?
00:16:22I cannot understand that.
00:16:23He has fewer Instagram followers than me.
00:16:25And his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
00:16:27The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:16:32Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:16:36But what about you?
00:16:37You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:16:42What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years?
00:16:49But she's married and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:16:53You think that would lend me the role?
00:16:54Sounds more like excused me.
00:16:57That's not good enough, huh?
00:16:59Alright.
00:17:00Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:17:04Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:17:09Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:17:12But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
00:17:16Alright.
00:17:19I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:17:22Damn it!
00:17:24Fuck!
00:17:26I'm so sorry.
00:17:27Are you nuts?
00:17:28Nuts?
00:17:29Is that all your men got?
00:17:30Yeah, I'm nuts.
00:17:31But you guys eat both cooked by nuts.
00:17:32Sleep with nuts.
00:17:33Have kids with nuts.
00:17:34You are the real nuts here.
00:17:35No offense.
00:17:36But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:17:37I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:17:38Only supermodels.
00:17:39Screw you fuck, Chris Roberts!
00:17:40Ah!
00:17:41Ah!
00:17:42Ah!
00:17:43Ah!
00:17:44Ah!
00:17:45Ah!
00:17:46Ah!
00:17:47Ah!
00:17:49Ah!
00:17:50Ahh!
00:17:51Ah!
00:17:52Shit!
00:17:53with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:17:57Only supermodels!
00:18:01Screw you, Flux Chris Robbers!
00:18:12Shit!
00:18:20I sold the house.
00:18:22You got till tonight to move out or your stuff will get thrown away.
00:18:28If you want to divorce me, fine!
00:18:30Go ahead!
00:18:32But how dare you sell our house without my consent!
00:18:37I'll sue you!
00:18:38Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:18:40Don't mess with me or apply for a custody for our son.
00:18:43A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
00:18:47Despicable!
00:18:49So, you divorced?
00:18:50It's none of your business!
00:18:53Marry me!
00:19:00Are you insane?
00:19:04My car's worth $4 million.
00:19:07You want to talk about marriage?
00:19:10Or compensation?
00:19:11This way, ma'am.
00:19:17Watch your step, ma'am.
00:19:25Welcome, ma'am.
00:19:26I'm sorry.
00:19:34I'm sorry.
00:19:35Wow.
00:19:38So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:19:40I've seen it in a magazine.
00:19:41so I get a room like this for fake marriage no this is for Elizabeth my
00:20:02dog yours is upstairs bigger and better forget that come sign the contract
00:20:07sign this and you will be my wife sorry what's your name again Aubrey okay Aubrey listen to me
00:20:19I love you for more than 10 years I heard that you're divorced so I popped the question right
00:20:27away what really are you kidding me Aubrey this marriage is just for show I hope you won't catch
00:20:35real feelings for me relax not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating great that's amazing
00:20:43once I secure the role and back that Oscar we'll part our ways smoothly so we stuck together until
00:20:53we win an Oscar might as well say so that do us apart don't worry about that I'm gonna pay you
00:21:01an acting salary the same as I do with my models and actors you're Chris Roberts those actresses
00:21:07must earn a fortune considering our attitude I'm gonna go with minimum wage usually they pay around
00:21:13500 grand and now 150k that's enough for you per year per month of course
00:21:21so you have a son don't get me wrong just want to know more about my wife
00:21:39yeah his name is Luke he's nine in summer camp unaware of the divorce
00:21:52good lord that looks calorie packed
00:22:05first it's not for you second I hate when people reduce food to calories
00:22:10geez touchy it'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic
00:22:16keep that up another thing clear your schedule for tomorrow for meeting the director
00:22:22already
00:22:24this is your first time stepping out as my wife and I really want you to take it seriously
00:22:29need to dress up nicely all right because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act
00:22:34as my wife
00:22:34come on this top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket
00:22:38I'll solve this problem right now
00:22:41hey Brad
00:22:43didn't you say you could transform any woman
00:22:47oh my god I didn't expect this to be such a huge project but luckily I'm a Hollywood stylish
00:22:57all right girls let's get going
00:23:00right here
00:23:02I got it
00:23:03I got it
00:23:07are you okay baby?
00:23:13watch out please calm down
00:23:15can't you sit up back here?
00:23:16sit down please
00:23:17get back here
00:23:18oh my god are you okay baby?
00:23:21are these ladies fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:23:30she's my wife now so yes it's worth it
00:23:33hmm
00:23:35baby Ro I did my best today
00:23:38remember Rome wasn't built in the day
00:23:41how do I look?
00:23:56wow
00:23:58you're the most beautiful you have ever seen
00:24:02wow
00:24:04you sure ain't sure of that ass
00:24:06why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:24:09Julia
00:24:11your acting skills surpassed mine
00:24:14that's what handling a big star does to me
00:24:17let's go girls
00:24:18thank you so much guys
00:24:19no problem baby
00:24:21jeez
00:24:23how did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:24:27just like kardashians
00:24:29guess you regret this fake marriage now huh?
00:24:32god is fair
00:24:34though he didn't bless you with a fury physique
00:24:37he gave you unbridled confidence
00:24:40wow
00:24:44you're totally gonna nail that role now
00:24:46we look so perfect together
00:24:48it's a match made in heaven
00:24:51no no no
00:25:02there's no spark between you two
00:25:05you don't love your wife at all
00:25:07I'm sorry that I can't give you this role
00:25:09but we haven't even started talking
00:25:11you know the law talk is about feeling
00:25:13I don't feel your love for her
00:25:16he's crazy about me
00:25:19the moment I was divorced
00:25:20he swooped in with a helicopter proposal
00:25:24I love you baby
00:25:26that's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you
00:25:34come back to me
00:25:35where you'll learn to feel proper
00:25:37jeez
00:25:39are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:25:44yes
00:25:45but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me
00:25:47maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water
00:25:49any steak
00:25:50perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper
00:25:52bursting from one extra bite
00:25:54you guessed right
00:26:00much better now
00:26:02can you eat quieter?
00:26:15you're disturbing my reading
00:26:26you're married?
00:26:27what's up?
00:26:28what?
00:26:29your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:26:30yeah of course
00:26:31I can cover your shift today
00:26:34where are you going?
00:26:36the contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you
00:26:47Aubrey
00:26:48what are you doing here?
00:26:49you're not stalking me are you?
00:26:51listen
00:26:52stop harassing me
00:26:53Tiffany and I are engaged
00:26:57sorry to disappoint you
00:26:58but I'm married too
00:27:00it's not just you who found someone new
00:27:02Jim
00:27:04I told you she put up a front about finding someone else
00:27:09I do have a husband
00:27:11and he's hotter
00:27:12wealthier
00:27:13and last longer in bed than you ever did
00:27:15if he's so great
00:27:17why's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:27:21come on man
00:27:22don't just stand there
00:27:23serve us
00:27:26I want
00:27:27hot tea
00:27:38jeez
00:27:39you trying to sculpt me?
00:27:40are you satisfied now?
00:27:51that's better
00:27:53drink up dear
00:27:55ouch
00:27:57this huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand
00:28:01check out my engagement ring from mark
00:28:03it's whopping two carrots
00:28:06I heard your wedding ring was
00:28:10a freebie that came with some furniture shopping
00:28:14wasn't it?
00:28:15wow
00:28:16good for you
00:28:17and when you guys eventually split
00:28:20you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure
00:28:25don't stoop to our level
00:28:28you
00:28:29go and get the steaks ready in 10 minutes
00:28:31else
00:28:32I'll be reporting you
00:28:33I said
00:28:34half an hour
00:28:35when you ordered
00:28:36then
00:28:37figured it out
00:28:39wait
00:28:41tub off my water
00:28:47Mary
00:28:48you owe me a proper meal
00:28:50I refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake
00:28:56Aubrey?
00:28:57why are you waitressing?
00:28:58we're not really married
00:28:59what I do is none of your business
00:29:04let's go
00:29:05the advertisers are waiting
00:29:09keep an eye on her
00:29:10make sure nobody messes with her
00:29:12I'm not her agent
00:29:13but she's my wife
00:29:14at least on paper
00:29:15ok guys
00:29:16if you don't need anything else
00:29:18I'm gonna head out and change shifts
00:29:21oh my god
00:29:22my way
00:29:23it's gone
00:29:24since you're the only one serving us
00:29:27I suspect you stole my reign
00:29:29just because you're a bitch
00:29:30doesn't mean everyone is
00:29:32I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn
00:29:35let alone steal it
00:29:37deny won't help
00:29:39it's only you somewhere
00:29:43see
00:29:44see
00:29:45this is proof
00:29:50I'm gonna have you
00:29:52fired
00:29:53no way
00:29:54you're framing me on purpose
00:29:55got it
00:29:56get the restaurant owner over here for me
00:30:06you and your husband are so sweet
00:30:08you always remember to buy his favorite pizza
00:30:11sweet?
00:30:12we haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago
00:30:16look at them
00:30:18that's what we call sweet
00:30:19that's what we call sweet
00:30:20I wish my hubby was like that
00:30:24that's actually my husband
00:30:25you jerk cheating on me behind my back
00:30:28Aubrey
00:30:29let me explain
00:30:31wait wait wait
00:30:33stop
00:30:37alright enough
00:30:39cut it out
00:30:41I wouldn't have to be out here
00:30:42messing around
00:30:44if you
00:30:45didn't push me
00:30:46to do it
00:30:47look at yourself
00:30:48sloppy
00:30:50rude
00:30:51totally
00:30:52unfeminine
00:30:54I want a divorce
00:30:56crazy lady
00:31:06get that scum back
00:31:07no need for karma
00:31:08I can handle this myself
00:31:09hand me the car key
00:31:12I am
00:31:13I am
00:31:14I am
00:31:16I am
00:31:17I am
00:31:19Chris
00:31:20Leo snucked the role you wanted
00:31:22no way
00:31:24why him
00:31:25I cannot understand that
00:31:26he has fewer Instagram followers than me
00:31:28and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars
00:31:31the director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife
00:31:35Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love
00:31:39but what about you?
00:31:40about you? You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy. What if I told
00:31:47everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years, but she's married and
00:31:54all my wild dating was just to try and forget her? You think that would lend me the role? Sounds more
00:31:59like excused me. That's not good enough, huh? All right, do I have to say she just got divorced and
00:32:06I'm rushing to marry her, vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a
00:32:11committed guy? Now that's a story people might buy into, but the problem is you're just making this
00:32:18up on the spot. All right. I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:32:29Damn it! Fuck!
00:32:36I'm so sorry. Are you nuts? Nuts?
00:32:43Is that all your men got? Yeah, I'm nuts, but you guys eat both cooked by nuts, sleep with nuts,
00:32:49have kids with nuts. You are the real nuts here. No offense, but I'm Chris Roberts. I only sleep
00:32:56with supermodels under 25 years old. Only supermodels.
00:33:02Screw you, fuck Chris Roberts!
00:33:06I sold the house. You got till tonight to move out, or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:33:29If you want to divorce me, fine! Go ahead! But how dare you sell our house without my consent? I'll sue you!
00:33:41Think you can afford a lawyer? Don't mess with me, or apply for a custody for our son.
00:33:46Jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
00:33:50Despicable!
00:33:52So, you divorced?
00:33:54It's none of your business!
00:33:56Marry me!
00:33:56Are you insane?
00:34:07My car's worth $4 million.
00:34:10You want to talk about marriage?
00:34:12Or compensation?
00:34:15This way, Mom.
00:34:20Watch us stop, Mom.
00:34:22Welcome, Mom.
00:34:40Wow.
00:34:41So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:34:43I've seen it in a magazine.
00:34:45So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:35:03No.
00:35:04This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:35:06Yours is upstairs.
00:35:07Bigger and better.
00:35:08Forget that.
00:35:10Come sign the contract.
00:35:14Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:35:17Sorry, what's your name again?
00:35:19Aubrey.
00:35:20Okay.
00:35:21Aubrey.
00:35:22Listen to me.
00:35:23I love you for more than 10 years.
00:35:25I heard that you're divorced.
00:35:28So, I popped the question right away.
00:35:31What?
00:35:32Really?
00:35:33Are you kidding me?
00:35:35Aubrey, this marriage is just for show.
00:35:38I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:35:42Relax.
00:35:42Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:35:45Great.
00:35:46That's amazing.
00:35:47Once I secure the role and back that Oscar,
00:35:50we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:35:53So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:35:58Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:36:01Don't worry about that.
00:36:03I'm going to pay you an acting salary.
00:36:05The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:36:08You're Chris Roberts.
00:36:10Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:36:12Considering our attitude, I'm going to go with minimum wage.
00:36:15Usually, they pay around 500 grand,
00:36:18and now, 150K.
00:36:20That's enough for you.
00:36:21Per year?
00:36:23Per month, of course.
00:36:37So, you have a son?
00:36:40Don't get me wrong.
00:36:41Just want to know more about my wife.
00:36:48Yeah.
00:36:49His name is Luke.
00:36:51He's nine.
00:36:53In summer camp,
00:36:54unaware of the divorce.
00:37:05Good lord.
00:37:06That looks calorie-packed.
00:37:09First,
00:37:09it's not for you.
00:37:11Second,
00:37:11I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:37:13Geez, touchy.
00:37:17It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:37:21Keep that up.
00:37:22Another thing,
00:37:23clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:37:24We're meeting the director.
00:37:26Already?
00:37:27This is your first time stepping out as my wife,
00:37:30and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:37:33You need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:37:35Because it's going to be the first time that you're going to act as my wife.
00:37:38Come on.
00:37:39This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:37:41I'm going to solve this problem right now.
00:37:45Hey, Brad.
00:37:48Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:37:52Oh, my God.
00:37:54I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:37:58But luckily,
00:37:58I'm a Hollywood-style-ish.
00:38:00Alright, girls.
00:38:02Let's get going.
00:38:05Right here.
00:38:06I got it.
00:38:15Are you okay, buddy?
00:38:17Watch out.
00:38:18Please calm down.
00:38:18Can you sit up back here?
00:38:20Get him back here.
00:38:22Oh, my God.
00:38:22Are you okay, baby?
00:38:23Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:38:33She's my wife now,
00:38:35so yes, it's worth it.
00:38:39Baby Ro,
00:38:40I did my best today.
00:38:42Remember,
00:38:43Rome wasn't built in the day.
00:38:53How do I look?
00:39:01Wow.
00:39:02You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:39:07Wow.
00:39:08You sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:39:10Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:39:14Julia,
00:39:15your acting skills surpassed mine.
00:39:17That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:39:21Let's go, girls.
00:39:22Thank you so much, guys.
00:39:23No problem, baby.
00:39:26Jeez.
00:39:27How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:39:31Just like Kardashians.
00:39:33Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:39:37God is fair.
00:39:38Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique,
00:39:41he gave you unbrittle confidence.
00:39:47Wow.
00:39:48You're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:39:49We look so perfect together.
00:39:51It's a match made in heaven.
00:39:54No, no, no.
00:40:06There's no spark between you two.
00:40:08You don't love your wife at all.
00:40:10I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:40:12But we haven't even started talking.
00:40:14You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:40:17I don't feel your love for her.
00:40:20He's crazy about me.
00:40:22The moment I was divorced,
00:40:23he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:40:26I love you, baby.
00:40:29That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:40:37Come back to me.
00:40:38You'll learn to be a proper...
00:40:40Jeez.
00:40:43Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:40:47Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:40:50Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
00:40:53Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:40:58You guessed right.
00:41:04Much better now.
00:41:05Can you eat quieter?
00:41:19You're disturbing my reading.
00:41:29You're married?
00:41:30What's up?
00:41:31What?
00:41:32Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:41:34Of course.
00:41:34I can cover your shift today.
00:41:37Where are you going?
00:41:39The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:41:49Aubrey.
00:41:50What are you doing here?
00:41:52You're not stalking me, are you?
00:41:54Listen.
00:41:55Stop harassing me.
00:41:57Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:42:00Sorry to disappoint you,
00:42:02but I'm married too.
00:42:03It's not just you who found someone new.
00:42:05Jim!
00:42:07I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:42:12I do have a husband.
00:42:14And he's hotter, wealthier,
00:42:16and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:42:19If he's so great,
00:42:21when's an old-timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:42:24Come on, man.
00:42:25Don't just stand there.
00:42:26Serve us.
00:42:28I want hot tea.
00:42:31Jeez.
00:42:31I want hot tea.
00:42:38Jeez.
00:42:41You trying to sculp me?
00:42:51Are you satisfied now?
00:42:54That's better.
00:42:56Drink up, dear.
00:42:57Ouch! This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:43:03Check out my engagement ring from Mark. It's whopping two carats.
00:43:08I heard your wedding ring was a freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:43:17Wow, good for you. And when you guys eventually split,
00:43:22you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:43:28Don't stoop to our level. You, go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
00:43:35I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:43:39Then figured it out.
00:43:41Wait! Top off my water.
00:43:45Mary, you owe me a proper meal. I refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:43:58Aubrey? Why are you waitressing?
00:44:01We're not really married. What I do is none of your business.
00:44:04Let's go. The advertisers are waiting.
00:44:09Keep an eye on her. Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:44:15I'm not her agent.
00:44:16But she's my wife, at least on paper.
00:44:18Okay guys, if you don't need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:44:23Oh my god! My ring! It's gone!
00:44:27Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my ring.
00:44:32Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
00:44:35I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn, let alone steal it.
00:44:40Denying won't help!
00:44:42It's only you somewhere!
00:44:46See?
00:44:48This is proof!
00:44:53I'm gonna have you fired!
00:44:55No way! You're framing me on purpose!
00:44:58Got it. Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:45:09You and your husband are so sweet.
00:45:11You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:45:14Sweet?
00:45:15We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:45:19Look at them!
00:45:21That's what we call sweet.
00:45:23I wish my hubby was like that.
00:45:25Fuck! That's actually my husband!
00:45:28You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:45:30What?
00:45:31Aubrey!
00:45:32Let me explain!
00:45:33Wait!
00:45:34Wait!
00:45:35Wait!
00:45:36Stop!
00:45:38Fast!
00:45:40Alright! Enough!
00:45:42Cut it out!
00:45:44I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:45:50Look at yourself!
00:45:51Sloppy!
00:45:53You're rude!
00:45:54Totally!
00:45:55All feminine!
00:45:57I want a divorce!
00:45:59Crazy lady!
00:46:08Karma will get that scumbag!
00:46:09No need for karma! I can handle this myself!
00:46:11Hand me the car key!
00:46:12Chris, Leo's not the rule you wanted.
00:46:26No way!
00:46:27Why him?
00:46:28I cannot understand that!
00:46:29He has fewer Instagram followers than me and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars!
00:46:34The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:46:38Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:46:42But what about you?
00:46:43You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:46:49What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years,
00:46:55but she's married and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her?
00:46:59You think that would lend me the role?
00:47:01Sounds more like excused me!
00:47:04That's not good enough, huh?
00:47:06Alright.
00:47:07Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:47:10Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:47:16Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:47:19But the problem is, you're just making this up on the spot.
00:47:23Alright.
00:47:26I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:47:29I'm so sorry.
00:47:42Are you nuts?
00:47:43Nuts?
00:47:47Is that all your men got?
00:47:48Yeah, I'm nuts.
00:47:49But you guys eat those cooked by nuts.
00:47:51Sleep with nuts.
00:47:52Have kids with nuts.
00:47:53You are the real nuts here.
00:47:55No offense, but I'm Chris Roberts.
00:47:58I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:48:03Only supermodels!
00:48:05Screw you!
00:48:06Fuck Chris Roberts!
00:48:07Shit!
00:48:08I sold the house.
00:48:10We got till tonight to move out.
00:48:11Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:48:13If you want to divorce me, FINE!
00:48:14GO AHEAD!
00:48:15But how dare you sell our house!
00:48:16I'll let you go!
00:48:17I'll let you go!
00:48:18I'll let you go!
00:48:19I'll let you go!
00:48:20Shit!
00:48:21Shit!
00:48:27I sold the house!
00:48:28You got till tonight to move out.
00:48:30Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:48:32If you want to divorce me, fine! Go ahead!
00:48:37But how dare you sell our house without my consent!
00:48:42I'll sue you!
00:48:44Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:48:46Don't mess with me or apply for the custody for our staff.
00:48:49A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
00:48:53Despicable!
00:48:55So, you divorced?
00:48:57It's none of your business!
00:48:59Marry me!
00:49:02Are you insane?
00:49:09My car's worth 4 million dollars.
00:49:13You want to talk about marriage or compensation?
00:49:18This way, ma'am.
00:49:23Watch your step, ma'am.
00:49:27Welcome, ma'am.
00:49:43Wow!
00:49:44So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:49:46I've seen it in a magazine.
00:50:02So, I get a room like this for fake marriage?
00:50:05No.
00:50:06This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:50:08Yours is upstairs.
00:50:10Bigger and better.
00:50:12Forget that.
00:50:13Come sign the contract.
00:50:17Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:50:20Sorry, what's your name again?
00:50:22Aubrey.
00:50:23Okay.
00:50:24Aubrey.
00:50:25Listen to me.
00:50:26I love you for more than 10 years.
00:50:28I heard that you're divorced.
00:50:31So, I popped the question right away.
00:50:35What?
00:50:36Really?
00:50:37Are you kidding me?
00:50:38Aubrey.
00:50:39This marriage is just for show.
00:50:41I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:50:45Relax.
00:50:46Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:50:48Great!
00:50:49That's amazing!
00:50:50Once I secure the role and bag that Oscar, we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:50:58So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:51:02Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:51:05Don't worry about that.
00:51:06I'm gonna pay you an acting salary.
00:51:08The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:51:11You're Chris Roberts.
00:51:13Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:51:15Considering our attitude, I'm gonna go with minimum wage.
00:51:18Usually, they pay around 500 grand.
00:51:21And now, 150K.
00:51:23That's enough for you.
00:51:26Per year?
00:51:27Per month, of course.
00:51:41So, you have a son?
00:51:43Don't get me wrong.
00:51:44Just wanna know more about my wife.
00:51:48Yeah.
00:51:53His name is Luke.
00:51:54He's nine.
00:51:56In summer camp,
00:51:57I'm aware of the divorce.
00:52:08Good lord.
00:52:09That looks calorie packed.
00:52:12First, it's not for you.
00:52:13Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:52:16Geez.
00:52:17Touchy.
00:52:18It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:52:23Keep that up.
00:52:24Another thing.
00:52:25Clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:52:27We're meeting the director.
00:52:29Already?
00:52:31This is your first time stepping out as my wife,
00:52:33and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:52:35Need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:52:37Because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife.
00:52:42Come on.
00:52:43This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:52:46I'll solve this problem right now.
00:52:49Hey, Brad.
00:52:51Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:52:54Oh.
00:52:55My.
00:52:56God.
00:52:57I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:53:00But luckily, I'm a Hollywood stylish.
00:53:03Alright, girls.
00:53:05Let's get going.
00:53:08Right here.
00:53:09I got it.
00:53:19Are you okay, baby?
00:53:20Watch out.
00:53:21Please calm down.
00:53:22Can you sit up back here?
00:53:23Sit down.
00:53:24Get him out of here.
00:53:25Oh, my God.
00:53:26Are you okay, baby?
00:53:33Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:53:37She's my wife now.
00:53:38So, yes.
00:53:39It's worth it.
00:53:40Hmm.
00:53:42Baby Ro, I did my best today.
00:53:45Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day.
00:54:02How do I look?
00:54:04Wow.
00:54:05You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:54:10Wow.
00:54:11You sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:54:13Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:54:17Julia, your acting skills surpassed mine.
00:54:21That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:54:24Let's go, girls.
00:54:25Thank you so much, guys.
00:54:26No problem, baby.
00:54:29Geez.
00:54:30How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:54:34Just like Kardashians.
00:54:36Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:54:40God is fair.
00:54:41Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique, he gave you unbridled confidence.
00:54:45Brittle confidence.
00:54:50Wow.
00:54:51You're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:54:53We look so perfect together.
00:54:55It's a match made in heaven.
00:54:57No, no, no.
00:55:09There's no spark between you two.
00:55:11You don't love your wife at all.
00:55:13I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:55:15But we haven't even started talking.
00:55:17You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:55:20I don't feel your love for her.
00:55:23He's crazy about me.
00:55:25The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:55:31I love you, baby.
00:55:32That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:55:40Come back to me.
00:55:41Or you'll learn to be a proper uncle.
00:55:45Geez.
00:55:46Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:55:50Yes.
00:55:51But he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:55:53Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
00:55:56Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:56:02You guessed right.
00:56:07Much better now.
00:56:11Can you eat quieter?
00:56:21You're disturbing my reading.
00:56:32You're married?
00:56:33What's up?
00:56:34What?
00:56:35Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:56:36Of course.
00:56:37I can cover your shift today.
00:56:38Where are you going?
00:56:42The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:56:52Aubrey.
00:56:54What are you doing here?
00:56:55You're not stalking me, are you?
00:56:57Listen.
00:56:58Stop harassing me.
00:56:59Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:57:01Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too.
00:57:02It's not just you who found someone new.
00:57:03Jim!
00:57:04I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:57:05I do have a husband.
00:57:06And he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:57:07If he's so great, when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:57:11Come on, man.
00:57:12Don't just stand there.
00:57:13Serve us.
00:57:14I want hot tea.
00:57:16Geez.
00:57:17Geez.
00:57:18You're trying to scald me.
00:57:19Geez.
00:57:20You're trying to scald me.
00:57:21I do have a husband.
00:57:22I do have a husband.
00:57:23And he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:57:25If he's so great, when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:57:28Come on, man.
00:57:29Don't just stand there.
00:57:30Serve us.
00:57:31I want hot tea.
00:57:33Geez.
00:57:34You trying to scald me?
00:57:47Are you satisfied now?
00:57:54That's better.
00:57:56Drink up, dear.
00:58:00Ouch! This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand. Check out my engagement ring
00:58:09from Mark. It's whopping two carats. I heard your wedding ring was a freebie that came
00:58:18with some furniture shopping, wasn't it? Wow, good for you. And when you guys eventually
00:58:25split, you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure. Don't stoop their
00:58:33level. You, go and get the steaks ready in 10 minutes, else I'll be reporting you. I said
00:58:40half an hour when you ordered. Then figured it out. Wait, tub off my water. Mary, you
00:58:55owe me a proper meal. I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:59:02Aubrey, why are you waitressing? We're not really married. What I do is none of your
00:59:07business. Let's go. The advertisers are waiting. Keep an eye on her. Make sure nobody messes
00:59:18with her. I'm not her agent. But she's my wife, at least on paper. Okay guys, if you don't
00:59:23need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:59:26Oh my god! My ring! It's gone! Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole
00:59:34my ring. Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is. I wouldn't even want to touch
00:59:40the stuff you want, let alone spill it. Denying won't help. Let's arm you somewhere. See? This
00:59:51is proof. I'm gonna have you fired! No way! You're framing me on purpose!
01:00:02Got it. Get the restaurant owner over here for me. You and your husband are so sweet. You
01:00:15always remember to buy his favorite pizza. Sweet? We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving
01:00:21three years ago. Look at them. That's what we call sweet. I wish my hubby was like that.
01:00:27Fuck! That's actually my husband! You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
01:00:34Aubrey! Let me explain! Stop! Stop!
01:00:42Alright! Enough! Cut it out! I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if
01:00:50you didn't push me to do it. Look at yourself. Sloppy. You're rude. Totally unfeminine. I want
01:01:00a divorce. Crazy lady.
01:01:11Come on, get that scumbag. No need for karma. I can handle this myself. Hand me the car key.
01:01:15Chris, Leo's not the rule you wanted. No way. Why him? I cannot understand that. He has fewer Instagram followers than me and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars. The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife. Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
01:01:22But what about you? You're a forty-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
01:01:29What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years, but she's
01:01:36known around town as a total playboy.
01:01:38What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years?
01:01:42But she's married, and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her. You think that would lend me the role?
01:01:49Sounds more like excused me.
01:01:50That's not good enough, huh?
01:01:51Alright. Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her? Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
01:01:56That's a story people might buy into. But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
01:02:03would lend me the role? Sounds more like excused me. That's not good enough, huh?
01:02:09Alright, do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her,
01:02:14vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
01:02:19Now that's a story people might buy into. But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
01:02:26Alright. I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
01:02:33Damn it. Fuck.
01:02:44I'm so sorry. Are you nuts? Nuts?
01:02:50Is that all your men got? Yeah, I'm nuts. But you guys eat those cooked by nuts, sleep with nuts,
01:02:56have kids with nuts. You are the real nuts here. No offense, but I'm Chris Roberts. I only sleep
01:03:02with supermodels under 25 years old. Only supermodels.
01:03:11Screw you, fuck Chris Roberts!
01:03:13I sold the house. You got till tonight to move out, or your stuff will be thrown away.
01:03:35If you want to divorce me, fine! Go ahead! But how dare you sell our house without my consent?
01:03:46I'll sue you! Think you can afford a lawyer? Don't mess with me, or buy for a custody for our son.
01:03:52A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
01:03:56Despicable! So, you divorced? It's none of your business!
01:04:02Marry me.
01:04:10Are you insane?
01:04:14My car's worth four million dollars. You want to talk about marriage or compensation?
01:04:20This way, ma'am.
01:04:27We'll trust that, ma'am.
01:04:35Welcome, ma'am.
01:04:36Wow. So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue. I've seen it in a magazine.
01:05:00So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
01:05:09No. This is for Elizabeth, my dog. Yours is upstairs. Bigger and better.
01:05:15Forget that. Come sign the contract.
01:05:21Sign this, and you will be my wife. Sorry, what's your name again?
01:05:24Aubrey. Okay. Aubrey, listen to me. I love you for more than 10 years. I heard that you're divorced.
01:05:35So, I popped the question right away.
01:05:38What? Really?
01:05:39Are you kidding me?
01:05:41Aubrey, this marriage is just for show. I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
01:05:48Relax. Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
01:05:51Great. That's amazing. Once I secure the role and back that Oscar, we'll part our ways smoothly.
01:06:01So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
01:06:05Might as well say, so that do us a part.
01:06:08Don't worry about that. I'm going to pay you an acting salary. The same as I do with my models and actors.
01:06:14You're Chris Roberts. Those actresses must earn a fortune.
01:06:18Considering our attitude, I'm going to go with minimum wage. Usually, they pay around $500,000. And now, $150,000. That's enough for you.
01:06:29Per year?
01:06:29Per month, of course.
01:06:31Per month, of course.
01:06:44So, you have a son?
01:06:46Don't get me wrong. Just want to know more about my wife.
01:06:49Per month, of course.
01:06:55Yeah. His name is Luke. He's nine. In summer camp, unaware of the divorce.
01:07:02Per month, of course.
01:07:11Good lord. That looks calorie packed.
01:07:15First, it's not for you. Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
01:07:21Jeez, touchy. It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
01:07:27Keep that up. Another thing, clear your schedule for tomorrow. We're meeting the director.
01:07:33Already?
01:07:35This is your first time stepping out as my wife, and I really want you to take it seriously.
01:07:39Need to dress up nicely, alright? Because it's going to be the first time that you're going to act as my wife.
01:07:45Come on. This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
01:07:49I'll solve this problem right now.
01:07:50Hey, Brad. Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
01:07:58Oh my god. I didn't expect this to be such a huge project, but luckily, I'm a Hollywood stylish.
01:08:07Alright, girls. Let's get going.
01:08:11Right here.
01:08:12I got it.
01:08:18Are you okay, ladies? Watch out. Please calm down.
01:08:25Can you set up back here?
01:08:27Get them back here. Oh my god. Are you okay, baby?
01:08:29Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
01:08:40She's my wife now, so yes, it's worth it.
01:08:45Baby Ro, I did my best today. Remember, Rome wasn't built in the day.
01:08:58How do I look?
01:09:07Wow. You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
01:09:14Wow. You sure ain't sure of that ass. Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
01:09:19Julia, her acting skills surpassed mine.
01:09:24That's what handling a big star does to me.
01:09:27Let's go, girls.
01:09:28Thank you so much, guys.
01:09:29No problem, baby.
01:09:32Jeez. How did I not realize my backside has such potential?
01:09:37Just like Kardashians. Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
01:09:43God is fair. Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique, he gave you unbrittle confidence.
01:09:49Wow. You're totally gonna nail that role now. We look so perfect together.
01:09:58It's a match made in heaven.
01:10:11No, no, no. There's no spark between you two. You don't love your wife at all.
01:10:16I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
01:10:19But we haven't even started talking.
01:10:21You know the law talk is about feeling. I don't feel your love for her.
01:10:27He's crazy about me. The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
01:10:34I love you, baby. That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:10:44Come back to me, or you'll learn to be a proper lover.
01:10:48Jeez.
01:10:49Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
01:10:54Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
01:10:57Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water? Any steak?
01:11:00Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
01:11:05You guessed right.
01:11:10Much better now.
01:11:19Can you eat quieter? You're disturbing my reading.
01:11:27You're married? What's up?
01:11:37What? Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
01:11:40Yeah, of course. I can cover your shift today.
01:11:44Where are you going?
01:11:44The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
01:11:49Aubrey, what are you doing here? You're not stalking me, are you?
01:12:01Listen, stop harassing me. Tiffany and I are engaged.
01:12:05Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too. It's not just you who found someone new.
01:12:11Jim!
01:12:12I told you she put up a friend about finding someone else.
01:12:19I do have a husband, and he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
01:12:25If he's so great, why's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
01:12:31Come on, man. Don't just stand there. Serve us.
01:12:35I want hot tea.
01:12:39Hmph.
01:12:42Geez. You trying to scald me?
01:13:00Are you satisfied now?
01:13:01That's better. Drink up, dear.
01:13:05Ouch! This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
01:13:10Check out my engagement ring from Mark. It's whopping two carats.
01:13:16I heard your wedding ring was a freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
01:13:24Wow! Good for you. And when you guys eventually split, you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
01:13:33Don't stoop to our level. You go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
01:13:41I said half an hour when you ordered.
01:13:45Then figure it out.
01:13:46Wait!
01:13:48Tub off my water.
01:13:50Mary, you owe me a proper meal. I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
01:14:05Aubrey? Why are you waitressing?
01:14:08We're not really married. What I do is none of your business.
01:14:14Let's go.
01:14:14The advertisers are waiting.
01:14:18Keep an eye on her. Make sure nobody messes with her.
01:14:21I'm not her agent.
01:14:23But she's my wife, at least on paper.
01:14:25Okay guys, if you don't need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
01:14:31Oh my god! My ring! It's gone!
01:14:35Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my ring.
01:14:39Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
01:14:42I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn, let alone steal it.
01:14:46Then now you won't help. Let's arm you somewhere.
01:14:53See? This is proof.
01:14:59I'm gonna have you fired.
01:15:02No way! You're framing me on purpose.
01:15:10Got it. Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
01:15:16I'll see you on YouTube.
01:15:18You got it.
01:15:22Happy
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