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  • 7/25/2025
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Transcript
00:00You
00:30So, I was back in my old accounting office, except it was all weird.
00:40And I was getting this performance review from Mr. Weederspan, only like he wasn't Mr. Weederspan, he was, he was like a, a woman, or a cat.
00:50And it was saying, we have reviewed your performance and have found it to be flaccid and disappointing.
00:56And that's when I realized I, I wasn't wearing any pants.
01:02And then I was on the roof, and Carmelita flew by, so I ran to the edge of the roof, and I jumped.
01:12But I didn't have my wings on.
01:18And that's when I woke up screaming.
01:21Crazy, huh?
01:22The meaning is very clear, Arthur.
01:26Always wear pants, always wear your wings, and don't fall for Carmelita.
01:31Sounds to me like he already has.
01:37Wow, we made great time.
01:40Oh, oh, I'm so sorry.
01:43I didn't, don't worry about that.
01:45This is one of Dad's inventions.
01:47The disposable roadster.
01:48Wait, Iedlan, here, Iedlan.
02:00Will only Iedlan be a minute, Iedlan?
02:03Hurry, Iedlan.
02:07Question.
02:08Why would ancient Aztecs be going to the movies?
02:13Answer, forthcoming.
02:15Dear, my darling, it's been so long, so very, very long.
02:26Every second, it seemed like a minute.
02:28Every minute, like an hour.
02:30Every hour, like a day.
02:32Yee, mushy.
02:35Dick, what are you doing here?
02:37Oh, hi, oh, hi, Arthur.
02:40Carmelita.
02:41What are you doing here?
02:43You're following us.
02:44No, no, I was following a gang of Aztec warriors.
02:47Oh, that is so lame.
02:49Shh.
02:51Oh, we'll talk about this later.
02:53Go away.
02:54Now.
02:57Ah, Arthur, it's so sweet the way he checks up on you.
03:01Yes, yes, I know it.
03:02And you've been so very, very far from me.
03:05Every inch has seemed like a foot.
03:07Every foot like a yard.
03:08Every yard like a furlong.
03:10Every furlong like a mile.
03:12Every mile.
03:12I see, Iedlan.
03:13Wait, Iedlan.
03:15There's two of her, Iedlan.
03:18Carmelita?
03:19Yes, Arthur?
03:21Um, do you, um, can I, um, can I get you some popcorn?
03:28She's getting up, Iedlan.
03:31Get the net, Iedlan.
03:32Love under siege.
03:35Where's the siege, Arthur?
03:37I'm ignoring you, Tick.
03:39Aztec warriors.
03:41Take cover, my love.
03:42Messerschmitts at three o'clock.
03:44Yes.
03:50Siege, siege.
03:51Tick, help.
03:53Tick, I'm not ignoring you anymore.
03:56Aztecs.
03:56Tick, you were right.
04:06Carmelita, don't try to fight us, Iedlan.
04:08Ancient peoples, Lego my partner.
04:12Uh-oh, she's got a boyfriend.
04:14Hey, down in front.
04:16Oh, uh, sorry, again.
04:21Arthur!
04:26That does it.
04:28You pushed me over the edge.
04:30Prepare to be conquered!
04:36Tick, what are you doing?
04:39Uh-oh, sorry, citizen.
04:43Tick, what the hell are you doing?
04:48Airport, Iedlan, step on Iedlan.
04:54The Luftwaffe stole my girlfriend.
04:57The Aztecs stole my sidekick.
05:01Shh.
05:01Final call reporting Air Itlan, flight 34 to Mexico City.
05:25Air Itlan, flight 34.
05:28Ah, don't beat yourself up, Tick.
05:46You came real close.
05:48And at least now we know where they're headed.
05:51Yeah, but that was the Red Eye Express.
05:53No more flights till tomorrow.
05:56Don't be so sure.
05:58Man, your dad's wicked slick.
06:17Wally, Iedlan, we're back, Iedlan.
06:19You brought her all the way in that, Iedlan?
06:28But you said, Iedlan...
06:29That's no way to treat Carmelita.
06:31She's one of us.
06:33Release her at once.
06:35Carmelita, Carmelita.
06:37It's been 15 long years and I've never stopped thinking about you.
06:40You were beautiful.
06:42You smelled nice.
06:43And you didn't throw like a girl.
06:46Let go!
06:47Let go of me!
06:49Carmelita?
06:50Ooh, the years have not been kind, Iedlan, to you, Iedlan.
06:54I'm not Carmelita.
06:56Who are you people?
06:58What, Iedlan, is with this fat rabbit guy, Iedlan?
07:03Wally, man.
07:04It's the costume, Iedlan.
07:06There were two of them.
07:07We...
07:08Fat rabbit!
07:09She was wearing the same thing, Iedlan.
07:11It was dark, Iedlan.
07:13Silence, Iedlan!
07:14You, Iedlan.
07:15What were you doing, Iedlan, with Carmelita Vatos, Iedlan?
07:19Nothing.
07:19We...
07:20Fat.
07:21We were just watching a movie.
07:23A movie, Iedlan?
07:24Were your parents there?
07:27What?
07:27Well, of course not.
07:28Then it was a date, Iedlan.
07:31You're her boyfriend.
07:33Take this wuss to the dungeon, Iedlan.
07:41Ouch.
07:43Ah!
07:50What, Iedlan, are we going to do Iedlan with him?
07:55Hmm.
07:56What, Iedlan, would the ancients do, Iedlan?
08:00We'll consult...
08:01the book.
08:05It's love.
08:05It's love.
08:06It's love.
08:09Incredible.
08:10Did you know the Aztecs were sun worshippers?
08:12And they used chocolate beans for money.
08:15Come on, how tough could they be?
08:17That doesn't sound right.
08:18Where are you getting all this from?
08:20This amazing book I bought at the snack bar when we stopped for gas in Texas.
08:25Look, there's another Aztec ruin below.
08:28I'm bringing her in.
08:29They could make eclipses with their minds.
08:33They kept fire-breathing monkeys as pets.
08:35Man, those Aztecs did everything.
08:38Oh, empty.
08:41A slow night in Aztec City.
08:44Hola, amigos.
08:45What is it that you seek?
08:50Who's that guy?
08:51I am Corduroy Cordova, man of mystery and night watchman here at the park.
08:58We're looking for a bunch of Aztecs.
08:59Then I'm afraid you are 400 years too late.
09:03There are no more Aztecs in Mexico.
09:05Yes, there are.
09:06They kidnapped my best friend last night.
09:09Oh, those Aztecs.
09:11I hate those guys.
09:13Always with the Itlan, Itlan, Itlan.
09:16Oh, how annoying.
09:18You know them?
09:20Si, si.
09:21They are always stealing things from the ruined snack bar that night.
09:25Wait a minute.
09:26I thought you said there were no more Aztecs.
09:29Oh, these are not real Aztecs, amigo Azul.
09:31They are, how you say, falsos, Aztecos nuevos.
09:35Just a bunch of jerks who pretend to be Aztecs.
09:39Well, do you know where they live?
09:40Si.
09:41I will show you on the map.
09:43It's not far by plane.
09:46Come on, chum, let's go.
09:48Tick, you called me chum.
09:51Just like you call Arthur.
09:53No, I didn't.
09:54I said, uh, carm, for carmelita.
09:59Ah, ah, ah, you said chum.
10:01Tick, that is so sweet.
10:07Sidecakes don't kiss.
10:09You're so, you're so not Arthur.
10:13You dress like Arthur.
10:14Oh, yeah, you're soft like Arthur.
10:16But you curve in all the wrong places.
10:20Okay.
10:25Rise and shine, Itlan, geek.
10:27Hmm.
10:29Why?
10:29We've consulted the ancient tomes, Itlan, and decided your fate, Itlan.
10:36What have you weirdos done to me?
10:38We've prepared you for marriage, Itlan.
10:41I sent for carmelita, Itlan, with the intention of making her my bride, Itlan.
10:45So since you're so fond, Itlan, of impersonating her, a bride, Itlan, you shall be, Itlan.
10:51You know, you know, you know, I get it now.
10:59I get it.
11:02This is another dream.
11:03Yeah, yeah.
11:04Oh, am I wearing pants this time?
11:06As punishment, Itlan, for insulting the king, Itlan, on what should have been his wedding, Itlan Day, we will marry you to the lowest creature in the jungle, Itlan.
11:18And offer you both up to our god, Itlan.
11:24We're going to feed you to the sun.
11:28There's the crater.
11:29And there's this secret city.
11:32Let's go, Wally.
11:33Put it away.
11:34Hey, hey.
11:35Let's go, Wally.
11:36Put it away.
11:37Hey, hey, hey.
11:37I now pronounce you, Breakfast Itlan.
11:41Wow.
11:42Hey, this is actually pretty scary.
11:44Come on, Wally.
11:45No better, no better, no better, no better, no better, no better.
11:48Ah!
11:50No!
11:53I'm circling the city.
11:55Do you see Arthur?
11:57Yes.
11:58He's flying right at us.
11:59Without wings.
12:01Take, take the stick.
12:05Is, is he wearing a dress?
12:07What is going on?
12:13Carmelita, the savages are shooting dogs at us.
12:17I'm not making up.
12:20It's not a dream.
12:22Arthur.
12:23Going, going, aw.
12:27Okay, Itlan, Aztecs, after them.
12:32Carmelita, quick, do you have any more of your father's inventions on you?
12:35Uh, you know, something that might, uh, get us out of this.
12:38I've got some really good instant coffee, but...
12:41Carmelita?
12:43Justin?
12:44Eddie?
12:45Danny?
12:46Lloyd?
12:47Doug?
12:47You know these guys?
12:49Who are they?
12:50They're the Aztecs!
12:52No, they're really not.
12:54Not the Aztecs.
12:55The Aztecs!
12:56Definitely a dream.
12:58It's not a dream, Arthur.
13:00These are the Deertown Aztecs.
13:03It's my old grade school baseball team.
13:05Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?
13:09Lita, Lita, Carmelita!
13:13Okay, if this isn't a dream, then what was that creepy dog all about?
13:20Well, that certainly was some crash.
13:22Are you all right, Dick?
13:24Uh, excuse me?
13:26Uh, are you speaking to me?
13:28To whom else would I be speaking?
13:30Oh, I don't know.
13:31Oh, hey, you're speaking.
13:35The book didn't say anything about talking Aztec dogs.
13:39You saved my life, Dick.
13:41And for that, I will be your loyal pet forever.
13:43It's the law of the jungle.
13:45Oh, I'll call you Speak.
13:49Because that's what you do.
13:54Oh, I don't know if we can have pets in the apartment.
13:59I'll have to ask Arthur.
14:01Arthur, my sidekick!
14:06My chum!
14:08I gotta save Arthur.
14:11Speak, you're wise.
14:12Tell me how to get to that secret city.
14:18Carmelita, it's finally you, Etlan.
14:22Wally?
14:24Wally Head?
14:26What are you doing in Arthur's wings?
14:28You like them?
14:30I wore them just for you, Etlan.
14:32What?
14:32What is that Etlan thing you keep doing?
14:35You don't like Etlan?
14:37I'll stop Etlan.
14:39Hey, everyone!
14:40Hey, guys!
14:41Listen up!
14:42I now decree that we stop saying Etlan all the time.
14:46Yes, sir.
14:47That Carmelita had talent.
14:49She could hit, she could throw.
14:50I was a darn shame when she sprained her ankle right before the international championships.
14:55We would have won for sure with her on the team.
14:58Well, you know, if we'd ever actually gotten to the game.
15:01Why?
15:02What happened?
15:02Well, the kids, they were acting up on planes.
15:05Shooting spitballs, running around.
15:07You know how kids can be.
15:09Piloty.
15:09He just couldn't take it anymore and bailed out.
15:12They was corduroy, something or other.
15:15You can imagine what happened after that.
15:20Unsettling trend.
15:24We crashed right near these cool Aztec ruins.
15:27I had a book on ancient Mexico, so I knew all about this stuff.
15:30We decided to stay and live like real live Aztecs.
15:34Isn't it great?
15:35No parents, no school, no coach telling you what to do all the time.
15:39There was only one thing missing, Carmelita.
15:41You are our star, Shortstop.
15:43And the only girl I ever loved.
15:47Now you and I can get married and...
15:49We can what?
15:50You know, just like you promised.
15:52You said when we grew up, you'd marry me.
15:56I was 11.
15:58I only held your hand once.
16:00And obviously, you haven't grown up yet.
16:02What are you...
16:03Sun-worshipping dog launchers?
16:05You face the Tick and his dog.
16:09Speak.
16:10Get him, guys!
16:12Aztecs!
16:13Aztecs!
16:14Aztecs!
16:23Neener, neener, neener!
16:25Stay back, loser!
16:26I've got a crystal skull!
16:30Speak!
16:31Cover your head!
16:35Sucker!
16:35Tick!
16:37He's flopping!
16:39It's just a baseball!
16:41So we're tied nine-nine at the bottom of the seventh.
16:48Two men on, and little Davy steps up to the plate.
16:51First pitch a floater high and outside.
16:53Swing and a miss.
16:54Strike one.
16:56Tick!
16:57Where's Carmelita?
16:59Well, the guy with the big hat took her.
17:01And he's wearing your wings, man.
17:03That does it.
17:05He's history.
17:07Tick!
17:07Get us out of here!
17:16Boulder hazard!
17:18Mooby traps!
17:19My temple is crawling with them.
17:21Right.
17:22Then, uh, press on, boys!
17:24Snake hazard!
17:29Hurry, boys!
17:30I'm your human bridge to safety!
17:43It's all in the timing, chum.
17:45Ready?
17:46Tick, no!
17:47It's hopeless!
17:48And this place is an elabyrinth of terror!
17:51Huh.
17:51I see your point.
17:53Time to unravel this Gordian notcher!
17:58Spoon!
18:00Let me at him!
18:01Come here, you!
18:02I'm gonna...
18:03Huh?
18:04Huh?
18:04Oh, looks like she threw only a little chin music.
18:08Way to brush him back, Lita.
18:09Well, the gal's gotta know how to take care of herself.
18:12I got your wings back, Arthur.
18:18Well, I hope you boys have learned your lesson.
18:21In love, there's a right way and a wrong way to do things.
18:25The right way is to take someone to a movie.
18:28The wrong way is to take someone from a movie.
18:31Because kidnapping is just plain wrong.
18:34And not only that, it's wrong in the eyes of the law.
18:38Wally, I'm pretty sure they'll try you as an adult.
18:40And I'm not talking about detention, neither.
18:43I'm talking about detention!
18:46And what have we learned about Aztecs?
18:49Well, nothing, really.
18:50Because you can't trust everything you read.
18:52Especially in history books you get from gas stations.
18:56But you can trust speak.
18:58Right, boy?
18:59Hey.
19:01Uh, Tick, you're not planning on keeping that thing.
19:04Now, boys, don't be a bunch of sore losers.
19:08Don't you have something to say to the Tick?
19:11Nice game.
19:17Nice game.
19:18Nice game, man.
19:18Yeah, nice game.
19:19Nice game.
19:20Nice game.
19:21Nice game.
19:25Keel Stoker writes,
19:26Dear Tick, if carp were flying backwards in Spain
19:29and pandas were doing handstands in China,
19:31how much rain would my town get?
19:33This letter is clearly the result of too much spinning.
19:36I know kids love to spin round and round
19:38on the emerald lawns of any town USA.
19:40Why, I love a good spin myself!
19:43But you're spinning your tyke melon
19:44into a kaleidoscope of crazy!
19:47Keel, spinning and writing letters don't mix.
19:51OK, yeah, super fast.
19:51Cheers!
19:53Thank you so much.
19:56Thank you so much for coming.
19:58Cheers.
19:59Cheers.
19:59Cheers.
20:00Cheers.
20:02Cheers.
20:04Cheers.
20:04Cheers.

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