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Short filmTranscript
00:00This video is made possible by the
00:02Dumb and Dumb.
00:06Hey, Dumb and Dumb and Dumb.
00:09I'll see you next time.
00:13Bye, Dumb and Dumb and Dumb.
00:17Bye, Dumb and Dumb and Dumb.
00:20Bye, Dumb and Dumb and Dumb.
00:22Bye, Dumb and Dumb.
00:25Bye.
00:30Oh, my God.
01:00Well, that's the last of it.
01:13We are dust free.
01:15Ah, cleaning day.
01:17Every citadel of justice should have its spans as spick as we do.
01:22Yes, and Tick, this time, let's try to keep it that way for more than five minutes.
01:27Five minutes. Check.
01:28Oh, I just remembered. Spick's been soaking all morning.
01:35The apartment lies clean. Soft underbelly exposed. Vulnerable.
01:41Who can tell where dirty will strike next?
01:47Arthur! Monkey out of nowhere!
01:49No, Monkey Man, no!
02:02What? What did you do?
02:04Don't move, Arthur. It's got a timer. Must be some kind of monkey bomb.
02:17Gotta think quickly before she blows.
02:19Now, which button to push?
02:22Tick! Don't touch!
02:23The red one! Of course!
02:26No!
02:31So, this is what Kingdom Come is like.
02:35What?
02:35These footprints. I've seen them before. In the... In the Natural History Museum. Oh, come on. Mega... Mega... Mega...
02:47Mega-therium. The giant sloth. But the tick. Those animals have been extinct for millions of...
02:58Ah! Arthur! I ain't given any...
03:01Good heavens, Arthur! He means to peel you like a grape!
03:05Stop tasting me!
03:09Let me make this plain herbivore. Arthur is neither vegetable nor fruit!
03:16A giant sloth. It's impossible. Except...
03:26Dick, we're... We're millions of years in the past. It's not a monkey bomb. It's a time machine!
03:34Well, it was a time machine, chum. It got smashed by Mega-Mega-Mega.
03:40Ah! Dick, without that machine, we're stranded here in prehistory forever!
03:46We're gonna go old and die, Dick, before we've even been born!
03:50Well, look at us.
03:53We'll never see our friends again!
03:57You! You're the one who did this to us!
04:01I want to go home! You put me back where you found me!
04:05Now!
04:06Come on, Arthur. They're just little monkey people.
04:17Besides, I'm sure we'll have this baby working again in no time.
04:21Dear Dot, I hope you get this letter.
04:32The tick and I are trapped at the dawn of humanity.
04:36We live with a tribe of Australopithecines.
04:38They're the missing link between man and ape,
04:41which means they don't know anything.
04:44I tried to show them how to make fire,
04:47but it just made them uncomfortable.
04:51Being stuck here doesn't seem to bother Tick the way it does me.
04:54He still goes on patrol every day.
05:02Sabretooth Tiger, you face the tick!
05:06The world's first superhero!
05:08And at night, he spins yarns around the fire.
05:12And so this crazy guy wanted to carve his name into the moon!
05:20Oh, yes! And dig this!
05:22He had a chair for a head!
05:24Oh, uh, uh, uh, chair!
05:29Uh, huh, chair!
05:33It's like, uh, well, you know, it's like a, uh, a little tree you sit on!
05:40Huh, yeah, it's, uh, like a, uh, uh,
05:45a little tree, a little tree, a little tree, a little tree!
05:47A little tree, a little tree, a little tree, a little tree!
05:52Every night I sit and dream of going home.
05:54Where all my friends are, where it's clean.
05:58Dot, I haven't taken a bath in six months.
06:02Anyway, I should probably go now.
06:05Today's my birthday.
06:06I think I'll celebrate by inventing agriculture.
06:15Oh, oh, oh, oh!
06:17Tick!
06:19It took me months to chisel that letter!
06:21Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
06:22Would you stop grunting?
06:24We're civilized human beings, Tick.
06:26We don't grunt.
06:28Oh, sorry, uh, but listen, Arthur, I have a surprise for you.
06:36You are gonna love it!
06:38Tick?
06:40What, what is this?
06:41Oh, now, Arthur, I know you've been feeling just a little down lately, and I wanted to
06:49do something special for your birthday.
06:52So I invented music.
06:54Hit it, boys!
06:56For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow,
07:07who wish nobody can deny.
07:10What do you think, Arthur?
07:14Australopithecine tribal formation located.
07:17Excellent.
07:18They're perfect.
07:20Seize them.
07:22Happy birthday, Arthur.
07:37TIin!!
07:46Unhand me, metallic miscreants!
07:56Forget that, big ape!
07:57Bring the rest back to the hotel.
07:58And hurry up, we're already falling behind!
08:00I'm already falling behind.
08:15Where are you taking my tribe?
08:18Welcome, time tourists, to the grand opening
08:21of the Great Time Prehistoric Resort Hotel.
08:24You have traveled all the way back from the year 101,996 A.D.
08:29to the dawn of humanity.
08:31Explore the harsh terrain where it all began,
08:34or simply relax amid the heady romance of the way we were.
08:38At the tar pits, you can see how fossils are made.
08:41Whoops, bye-bye for now.
08:44For the wildlife enthusiast, we offer a rare treat.
08:48Observe the mighty beasts of yore in their natural habitats,
08:52and then eat them in our elegant dining room,
08:55cooked to perfection, and served by our newly acquired tribe
08:59of australipithecine wazers.
09:00They're not surly, they're savage.
09:03Who are you?
09:05And what do you want with us?
09:07Oh!
09:12Clean glasses!
09:14Napkins!
09:16Oh! Ice cubes!
09:18Fresh iced tea!
09:20Get your filthy paws off that beverage, you dirty ape!
09:24Sorry about the mess.
09:29Our iced tea is just that good.
09:37Hang on, tribe!
09:39Hold tight, birthday boy!
09:41I'm coming for you!
09:44Gah!
09:46Gah!
09:47Gah!
09:48Gah!
09:49Gah!
09:50Sneaky hole.
09:51All right, you hairy subhumans, listen up.
09:54This morning, my entire staff of waiters quit on me.
09:58They got tired of commuting 3.6 million years to work
10:01every morning, I guess.
10:02Oh, and of course, the tips were lousy.
10:03Oh, oh.
10:05Gah!
10:06Hey, dirtball!
10:07Cut the monkey jumbo!
10:08Um, excuse me.
10:10Hello.
10:11I'm from the late 20th century, and I-I-I speak English.
10:16Oh, look at me!
10:17Look at me!
10:18I have speech!
10:20Aren't I special?
10:22Listen, pal, the guests at my hotel are from 3.6 million years
10:27in the future.
10:28They've got class!
10:32There's no time for sniffling.
10:34We're at peak season right now.
10:36Every room is booked.
10:39You'll work 16-hour shifts, or suffer the consequences.
10:47You can't do this to them!
10:48They're gentle creatures.
10:50They can't stand up to the rigors of the hospitality industry.
10:53Silence, T-thief!
10:55Bellbots, deal out these honey-hulled small heads
10:59and get them ready to serve.
11:01Well, it'll take more than a game of hot foot with Mother Earth
11:11to keep the tick from friends in need.
11:13Ha-ha-ha!
11:16Oh-ho-ho!
11:17Oh, wah-ha!
11:18Yeah, whoa-ho!
11:19Yeah!
11:19Ow!
11:20Ah!
11:21Ah!
11:22Ah-ah!
11:23Whoa-ho-ho!
11:26Dear Dot, I hope you got my rock.
11:29I'm riding you from the restaurant where I work
11:31with the rest of the tribe.
11:32I guess the Pleistocene Epoch is a popular vacation spot
11:35for people from the distant, distant future.
11:39We started yesterday.
11:40First, they hosed us down.
11:43Then, they gave us the previous waiter's uniforms.
11:47The restaurant was packed with the future of humanity.
11:50And, boy, were they hungry.
11:52Okay, okay, three medium-rare glyptodons in the shell,
11:55Lego bluchotherium in plum sauce.
11:56Um, and, Kenny, you're having the spiced arsinoetherium stew, right?
12:00Oh, and some more breadsticks.
12:02Uh, waiter, what are your specials for tonight?
12:06Excuse me, waiter.
12:08Could we have some fresh ground pepper on our salads?
12:11No, no, no.
12:23Salad fork on the left.
12:26Hey, cut it out.
12:27What?
12:29Let me try to put a little sense into your big future head.
12:32These guys are Australopithecines.
12:35They're like one day out of the tree, okay?
12:37They don't know salad, they don't know fork,
12:40and they don't know left.
12:42Well, if you're so blasted evolved,
12:44then you teach them.
12:46Or there's going to be a new dish on tonight's menu.
12:50Oh, hang in there, little buddies.
12:56The tick is gonna take a nap.
13:10Oh, good morning, nature, red in tooth and claw, the ancient cave bear battling its natural enemy, the robot.
13:36The robot.
13:37Ouch.
13:38Hey, wait a minute.
13:40That's one of the robots who stole my tribe.
13:43Well, I'll just get to the bottom of this.
13:46Spoon!
13:47You won't be dining on gears and pistons today!
13:54Quit yakking my food chain!
14:01Okay, Sparky, now you're gonna take me to my friends!
14:17I admire your strength.
14:19You c-c-c-could lift a lot of luggage.
14:22I will help you.
14:24Aha, a luxury hotel.
14:29Well, there's a little piece of prehistory they don't teach you in school.
14:33Better play along with their crazy game.
14:36M-m-my friend here needs a job.
14:40Can he lift a lot of luggage?
14:43He can.
14:49Shouldn't be hard to spot a monkey in this barrel.
14:53Of course, it's a pretty big barrel.
14:56Attention time, tourists.
14:58Please avoid making eye contact with your waiters.
15:01And don't smile at them.
15:03They take this as an act of hostility.
15:05Excuse me, I'd like to register a complaint about those waiters.
15:14Yes, yes, I know you miss your tubers.
15:17But you see, that's what I'm saying.
15:19You're being exploited.
15:21The management of this hotel is your enemy.
15:23You have nothing to lose but your chains.
15:25You have nothing to gain but your freedom.
15:28I say we strike a blow for human dignity.
15:31I say evolution now!
15:38Oh, in other words...
15:48But, sir, that's exactly what sets our hotel apart from other resorts.
15:52Where else can you have your grubby primal ancestry take your drink orders?
15:56Our waiter ate our appetizers and then bit my leg.
16:00Well, they're paid to be authentic.
16:03Hello, Miss Hunt.
16:05Arthur, where are you?
16:08Can you hear me, monkey friends?
16:10Where are you?
16:12What's the big A?
16:13Billbots!
16:14Seize him!
16:15Bind him with his own baggage!
16:16Oh, oh, oh!
16:17That's the tick!
16:18He's here and he needs our help!
16:19I regret this.
16:20You are the best.
16:21Welcome to our luggage room.
16:22This is where we send and receive luggage from the distant future.
16:25Pre-human, you embarrassed me in front of a guest!
16:28Well, now you'll be my guest on a little trip.
16:30Several little trips.
16:31Has your leg ever had an itch to visit the pyramid of the pyramid?
16:33No!
16:34No!
16:35No!
16:36No!
16:37No!
16:38No!
16:39No!
16:40No!
16:41No!
16:42No!
16:43No!
16:44No!
16:45No!
16:46No!
16:47No!
16:48No!
16:49No!
16:50No!
16:51No!
16:52No!
16:53No!
16:54Oh, well, no, no!
16:55Do you wish to visit the pyramids of ancient Egypt while you were still fresh?
16:58Or perhaps your arm wants to take a vacation during the French Revolution!
17:01Ha ha!
17:02Ha!
17:03You see, I'm going to send you to several different periods in time, one piece at a time!
17:12A time machine!
17:17Okay, here's the plan...
17:20Oh, ah, ah. No, no, wait, it's... Oh, yeah.
17:22Oh, ah, oh, ah, oh, ah, oh, ah.
17:25Now, how does this thing work?
17:29Okay, let's go!
17:31Now, which part of your body should we start with?
17:34How about the part you'd miss the least?
17:42This is really pathetic.
17:44Bellbox, crush the waitering staff, please.
17:46Where's that beeping coming from?
17:48Time for you to open up a new hotel
17:50at the beginning of the universe.
17:54Monkey bunny, I'll get you for this.
17:59Tick, are you okay?
18:02His head!
18:08Men in plaid.
18:10Hi. What time is it?
18:12Oh, about 10.30.
18:13Jerry, I'm gonna need a five iron on this one.
18:16He's just no good without his head.
18:18Whoa.
18:22Hole in one.
18:24Tick! Oh, thank goodness.
18:26Now, let's get our tribe out of here
18:28and get ourselves back home.
18:30Wait, wait.
18:44Calm down.
18:44Calm down.
18:45Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
18:49Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
18:56Arthur, the clock, lad. The clock!
18:59Do you see what time it is?
19:00It's only been three minutes since we left.
19:03Why, we've just spent six months,
19:04three and a half million years ago,
19:06and the time it takes to soft-boil an egg.
19:09Arthur, the fourth dimension is just one big crazy.
19:13Do not enter Clambake, Jungle of Weirdity.
19:16And how does it work?
19:18Never mind.
19:21Tick, I think it's time to clean up.
19:28Hey, gang, Fiona Zimmer writes,
19:30Dear Tick, why are boys always mean to girls?
19:33Well, the body of the average boy is a strange battleground,
19:36a volcanic mess of snakes and snails and puppy dog tails.
19:40I mean this, breeds like mosquito larvae
19:42and their derelict kiddie pool hearts.
19:44I understand, Fiona.
19:45Why, indeed?
19:46Girls of the world, unite and take over!
19:49Groovy all-female world, now!
19:52No!
19:55You
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