- 2 days ago
Married To A Superstar As The Housewife - Full Movie
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You and your husband are so sweet.
00:00:02You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:00:05Sweet?
00:00:06We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:00:11Look at them. That's what we call sweet.
00:00:14I wish my hubby was like that.
00:00:17Fuck! That's actually my husband!
00:00:19You jerk cheating on me behind my back!
00:00:21Aubrey!
00:00:22Let me explain!
00:00:24Wait! Wait! Wait!
00:00:26Stop!
00:00:27All right! Enough! Cut it out!
00:00:33I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:00:40Look at yourself. Sloppy. Rude. Totally unfeminine.
00:00:47I want a divorce. Crazy lady.
00:00:57Get that scumbag.
00:01:00No need for karma. I can't handle this myself.
00:01:02Hand me the car key.
00:01:13Chris, Leo snuck the role you wanted.
00:01:16No way. Why him? I cannot understand that.
00:01:20He has fewer Instagram followers than me and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
00:01:25The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:01:29Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:01:33But what about you?
00:01:34You're a 40-year-old bachelor known around town as a total playboy.
00:01:39What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years.
00:01:46But she's married and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her.
00:01:50You think that would lend me the role?
00:01:52Sounds more like excuse me.
00:01:54That's not good enough, huh?
00:01:56All right.
00:01:57Do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her?
00:02:01Vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:02:06Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:02:09But the problem is you're just making this up on the spot.
00:02:13All right.
00:02:16I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:02:22Damn it!
00:02:24Fuck.
00:02:31I'm so sorry.
00:02:32Are you nuts?
00:02:33Nuts?
00:02:37Is that all your men got?
00:02:38Yeah.
00:02:39I'm nuts.
00:02:40But you guys eat don't cook by nuts.
00:02:42Sleep with nuts.
00:02:43Have kids with nuts.
00:02:44You are the real nuts here.
00:02:46No offense.
00:02:47But I'm Chris Roberts.
00:02:49I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:02:54Only supermodels.
00:02:58Screw you fuck Chris Roberts!
00:03:01I sold the house.
00:03:02You've got till tonight to move out.
00:03:03Or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:03:05If you want to divorce me, fine!
00:03:09Go ahead!
00:03:10But how dare you sell our house?
00:03:12I'm so sorry!
00:03:13I'm so sorry.
00:03:14I'm so sorry.
00:03:15I'm so sorry.
00:03:16I'm so sorry.
00:03:17He's so sorry.
00:03:18He's so sorry.
00:03:19I'm so sorry.
00:03:20I'm so sorry.
00:03:21I'm so sorry.
00:03:22I'm so sorry.
00:03:23I'm so sorry.
00:03:24All right.
00:03:25I'm so sorry.
00:03:26I'm so sorry.
00:03:27I'm so sorry.
00:03:28But how dare you sell our house without my consent?
00:03:33I'll sue you!
00:03:34Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:03:36Don't mess with me or apply for custody for our staff.
00:03:40A jobless house like what you won't stand a chance.
00:03:43Despicable!
00:03:45So, you divorced?
00:03:47It's none of your business!
00:03:49Marry me!
00:03:50Are you insane?
00:04:00My car's worth 4 million dollars.
00:04:03You wanna talk about marriage?
00:04:06Or compensation?
00:04:09This way, Mum.
00:04:14Watch us, Dad, Mum.
00:04:20Welcome, Mum.
00:04:33Wow.
00:04:34So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:04:37I've seen it in a magazine.
00:04:50So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
00:04:56No.
00:04:57This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
00:04:59Yours is upstairs.
00:05:00Bigger and better.
00:05:02Forget that.
00:05:03Come sign the contract.
00:05:08Sign this, and you will be my wife.
00:05:10Sorry, what's your name again?
00:05:12Aubrey.
00:05:13Okay.
00:05:14Aubrey, listen to me.
00:05:16I love you for more than 10 years.
00:05:19I heard that you're divorced.
00:05:22So, I popped the question right away.
00:05:25What?
00:05:26Really?
00:05:27Are you kidding me?
00:05:29Aubrey, this marriage is just for show.
00:05:31I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
00:05:35Relax.
00:05:36Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
00:05:38Great.
00:05:39That's amazing.
00:05:40Once I secure the role and back that Oscar, we'll part our ways smoothly.
00:05:48So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
00:05:52Might as well say, so that do us a part.
00:05:55Don't worry about that.
00:05:57I'm gonna pay you an acting salary.
00:05:59The same as I do with my models and actors.
00:06:02You're Chris Roberts.
00:06:03Those actresses must earn a fortune.
00:06:05Considering our attitude, I'm gonna go with minimum wage.
00:06:09Usually, they pay around 500 grand.
00:06:11And now, 150k.
00:06:13That's enough for you.
00:06:16Per year?
00:06:17Per month, of course.
00:06:31So, you have a son?
00:06:32Don't get me wrong.
00:06:33Just want to know more about my wife.
00:06:42Yeah.
00:06:43His name is Luke.
00:06:44He's nine.
00:06:46In summer camp,
00:06:48I'm aware of the divorce.
00:06:49Good lord.
00:06:50That looks calorie packed.
00:07:02First, it's not for you.
00:07:04Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
00:07:08Jeez.
00:07:09Touchy.
00:07:10It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
00:07:14Keep that up.
00:07:16Another thing.
00:07:17Clear your schedule for tomorrow.
00:07:18We're meeting the director.
00:07:20Already?
00:07:22This is your first time stepping out as my wife,
00:07:24and I really want you to take it seriously.
00:07:27Need to dress up nicely, alright?
00:07:29Because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife.
00:07:32Come on.
00:07:33This top I'm wearing is like from the supermarket.
00:07:35I'll solve this problem right now.
00:07:39Hey, Brad.
00:07:41Didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:07:45Oh.
00:07:46My.
00:07:47God.
00:07:48I didn't expect this to be such a huge project.
00:07:51But luckily, I'm a Hollywood stylish.
00:07:54Alright, girls.
00:07:56Let's get going.
00:07:58Right here.
00:07:59I got it.
00:08:06Oh.
00:08:08Are you okay, baby?
00:08:10Watch out.
00:08:11Please calm down.
00:08:12Can you sit up back here?
00:08:13Can you sit down, baby?
00:08:14Uh, get up, baby.
00:08:15Oh, my God.
00:08:16Are you okay, baby?
00:08:23Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:08:27She's my wife now, so yes.
00:08:29It's worth it.
00:08:30Baby Ro, I did my best today.
00:08:35Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day.
00:08:52How do I look?
00:08:54Wow, you're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
00:09:00Wow, you sure ain't sure of that ass.
00:09:03Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
00:09:07Julia, her acting skills surpassed mine.
00:09:11That's what handling a big story does to me.
00:09:14Let's go, girls.
00:09:15Thank you so much, guys.
00:09:16No problem, baby.
00:09:19Jeez, how did I not realize my backside has such potential?
00:09:24Just like Kardashians.
00:09:26Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
00:09:28God is fair.
00:09:32Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique, he gave you unbrittle confidence.
00:09:40Wow, you're totally gonna nail that role now.
00:09:43We look so perfect together.
00:09:45It's a match made in heaven.
00:09:47No, no, no.
00:09:59There's no spark between you two.
00:10:02You don't love your wife at all.
00:10:03I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
00:10:06But we haven't even started talking.
00:10:08You know the law talk is about feeling.
00:10:10I don't feel your love for her.
00:10:12He's crazy about me.
00:10:15The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
00:10:21I love you, baby.
00:10:23That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
00:10:26Come back to me, or you'll learn to feel proper.
00:10:36Jeez.
00:10:36Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:10:41Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
00:10:44Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
00:10:47Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
00:10:51Oh, you guessed right.
00:10:56Oh, much better now.
00:11:10Can you eat quieter?
00:11:12You're disturbing my reading.
00:11:14Oh, you're disturbing my reading.
00:11:21You're married?
00:11:23What's up?
00:11:24What?
00:11:25Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:11:27Of course.
00:11:28I can cover your shift today.
00:11:30Where are you going?
00:11:32The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
00:11:43Aubrey, what are you doing here?
00:11:46You're not stalking me, are you?
00:11:48Listen, stop harassing me.
00:11:50Tiffany and I are engaged.
00:11:54Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too.
00:11:57It's not just you who found someone new.
00:11:59Jim!
00:12:00I told you she put up a front about finding someone else.
00:12:03I do have a husband, and he's hotter, wealthier, and lasts longer in bed than you ever did.
00:12:12If he's so great, when's an old-timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:12:18Come on, man.
00:12:19Don't just stand there.
00:12:20Serve us.
00:12:20I want hot tea.
00:12:34Jeez.
00:12:35You trying to scald me?
00:12:36Are you satisfied now?
00:12:48That's better.
00:12:49Drink up, dear.
00:12:52Ouch!
00:12:52This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:12:57Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:13:00It's whopping two carats.
00:13:02I heard your wedding ring was...
00:13:05A freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:13:11Well, good for you.
00:13:14And when you guys eventually split, you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:13:22Don't stupid or level.
00:13:24You, go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
00:13:29I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:13:32Then figure it out.
00:13:35Wait.
00:13:37Top of my water.
00:13:41Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:13:47I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:13:53Aubrey?
00:13:53Why are you waitressing?
00:13:55We're not really married.
00:13:56What I do is none of your business.
00:14:01Let's go.
00:14:01The advertisers are waiting.
00:14:05Keep an eye on her.
00:14:07Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:14:09I'm not her agent.
00:14:10But she's my wife, at least on paper.
00:14:12Okay guys, if you don't need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:14:18Oh my god.
00:14:19My ring.
00:14:20It's gone.
00:14:22Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my ring.
00:14:26Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
00:14:29I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn, let alone steal it.
00:14:34Denying won't help.
00:14:36Let's arm you somewhere.
00:14:37This is proof.
00:14:46I'm gonna have you fired.
00:14:49No way!
00:14:50You're framing me on purpose.
00:14:57Got it.
00:14:58Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
00:14:59You and your husband are so sweet.
00:15:05You always remember to buy his favorite pizza.
00:15:08Sweet?
00:15:09We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
00:15:14Look at them.
00:15:15That's what we call sweet.
00:15:17I wish my hubby was like that.
00:15:18Fuck, that's actually my husband.
00:15:22You jerk cheating on me behind my back.
00:15:24Aubrey, let me explain.
00:15:27Wait, wait, wait.
00:15:29Wait, stop.
00:15:32All right, enough.
00:15:35Cut it out.
00:15:36I wouldn't have to be out here messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
00:15:44Look at yourself.
00:15:45Sloppy.
00:15:46You're rude.
00:15:48Totally unfeminine.
00:15:50I want a divorce.
00:15:52Crazy lady.
00:15:53No need for karma.
00:16:04I can't handle this myself.
00:16:05Hand me the car key.
00:16:16Chris, Leo snucked the rule you wanted.
00:16:19No way.
00:16:21Why him?
00:16:22I cannot understand that.
00:16:23He has fewer Instagram followers than me,
00:16:25and his last movie made only $100 million.
00:16:28The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife.
00:16:32Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
00:16:36What about you?
00:16:37You're a 40-year-old bachelor,
00:16:39known around town as a total playboy.
00:16:42What if I told everyone
00:16:44that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years,
00:16:49but she's married,
00:16:50and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her?
00:16:53You think that would lend me the role?
00:16:55Sounds more like excused me.
00:16:57That's not good enough, huh?
00:16:59All right.
00:17:00Do I have to say she just got divorced,
00:17:02and I'm rushing to marry her,
00:17:04vowing to never look at another supermodel again
00:17:07to prove I can be a committed guy?
00:17:08Now that's a story people might buy into.
00:17:13But the problem is,
00:17:14you're just making this up on the spot.
00:17:16All right.
00:17:19I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
00:17:24Damn it!
00:17:27Fuck.
00:17:28I'm so sorry.
00:17:35Are you nuts?
00:17:37Nuts?
00:17:40Is that all your men got?
00:17:41Yeah, I'm nuts.
00:17:43But you guys eat both cooked by nuts,
00:17:45sleep with nuts,
00:17:46have kids with nuts.
00:17:47You are the real nuts here.
00:17:49No offense,
00:17:50but I'm Chris Roberts.
00:17:51I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
00:17:57Only supermodels.
00:18:01Screw you,
00:18:02fuck Chris Roberts!
00:18:12Shit.
00:18:15Shit.
00:18:21I sold the house.
00:18:27You've got till tonight to move out,
00:18:29or your stuff will be thrown away.
00:18:33If you want to divorce me,
00:18:35fine!
00:18:36Go ahead!
00:18:37But how dare you sell our house
00:18:40without my consent!
00:18:42I'll sue you!
00:18:44Think you can afford a lawyer?
00:18:46Don't mess with me,
00:18:47or a fight for custody for our son.
00:18:49Jobless housewife wife of you
00:18:51won't stand a chance.
00:18:53Despicable!
00:18:54So,
00:18:55you divorced?
00:18:56It's none of your business!
00:18:58Marry me.
00:19:05Are you insane?
00:19:09My car's worth $4 million.
00:19:12You want to talk about marriage?
00:19:15Or compensation?
00:19:16This way, ma'am.
00:19:23Watch your step, ma'am.
00:19:31Welcome, ma'am.
00:19:32I've seen it in a magazine.
00:19:43So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
00:19:46I've seen it in a magazine.
00:19:47so i get a room like this for fake marriage no this is for elizabeth my dog yours is upstairs
00:20:09bigger and better forget that come sign the contract sign this and you will be my wife
00:20:19sorry what's your name again aubrey okay aubrey listen to me i love you for more than 10 years
00:20:28i heard that you're divorced so i popped the question right away what really are you kidding
00:20:36me aubrey this marriage is just for show i hope you won't catch real feelings for me relax not
00:20:45falling for you as easy as drinking and eating great that's amazing once i secure the role and
00:20:51back that oscar we'll part our ways smoothly so we stuck together until we win an oscar
00:20:59might as well say so that do us a part don't worry about that i'm gonna pay you an acting salary
00:21:07the same as i do with my models and actors you're chris roberts those actresses must earn a fortune
00:21:14considering our attitude i'm gonna go with minimum wage usually they pay around 500 grand and now
00:21:21150k that's enough for you per year per month of course
00:21:27so you have a son don't get me wrong just want to know more about my wife
00:21:51yeah his name is luke he's nine in summer camp unaware of the divorce
00:22:08good lord that looks calorie packed first it's not for you second i hate when people reduce food to
00:22:15calories geez touchy it'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic keep that up another thing clear
00:22:26schedule for tomorrow for meeting the director already this is your first time stepping out as
00:22:33my wife and i really want you to take it seriously need to dress up nicely all right because it's gonna
00:22:38be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife come on this top i'm wearing is like from the
00:22:43supermarket i'll solve this problem right now hey brad didn't you say you could transform any woman
00:22:54oh my god i didn't expect this to be such a huge project but luckily i'm a hollywood stylish
00:23:03all right girls let's get going oh right here
00:23:08i got it
00:23:18are you okay
00:23:20watch out please calm down can you set up back here get them out of here oh my god are you okay baby
00:23:26are these ladies fashion pieces worth the expense for her she's my wife now so yes it's worth it
00:23:39baby well i did my best today remember rome wasn't built in the day
00:23:56so yes it's worth it
00:24:01how do i look wow you're the most beautiful you have ever seen
00:24:10wow you sure ensure that ass why aren't you closing the victoria's secret show this year
00:24:17julia your acting skills surpassed mine
00:24:20that's what handling a big star does to me let's go girls thank you so much guys no problem baby
00:24:29geez how did i not realize my backside has such potential just like kardashians guess you regret
00:24:37this fake marriage now huh god is fair though he didn't bless you with a fury physique he gave you
00:24:44on brittle confidence
00:24:49wow you're totally gonna nail that role now we look so perfect together it's a match made in heaven
00:25:07no no no there's no spark between you two you don't love your wife at all
00:25:13i'm sorry that i can't give you this room but we haven't even started talking you know the law
00:25:17talk is about feeling i don't feel your love for her he's crazy about me the moment i was divorced he
00:25:26swooped in with a helicopter proposal i love you baby that's because i just can't wait to spend the rest
00:25:34of my life with you
00:25:40come back to me where you'll learn to be a proper
00:25:45jeez are you sure he's top hollywood's director and not some charlatan yes but he did catch you
00:25:51rolling your eyes at me maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water any steak perhaps that's
00:25:57to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite oh you guessed right
00:26:07much better now
00:26:07can you eat quieter you're disturbing my reading
00:26:32you're married what's up what your daughter's in the hospital with a fever
00:26:36yeah of course i can cover your shift today
00:26:40where are you going the contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you
00:26:52albry what are you doing here you're not stalking me are you listen stop harassing me tiffany and i
00:27:00are engaged sorry to disappoint you but i'm married too it's not just you who found someone new
00:27:10i told you she put up a front about finding someone else
00:27:15i do have a husband and he's hotter wealthier and lasts longer in bed than you ever did if he's so great
00:27:23when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes come on man don't just stand there serve us
00:27:31i want hot tea
00:27:33jeez you trying to scald me
00:27:56are you satisfied now that's better drink up dear
00:28:00ouch this huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand check out my engagement ring from mark
00:28:09it's whopping two carrots i heard your wedding ring was
00:28:16a freebie that came with some furniture shopping wasn't it wow good for you and when you guys eventually
00:28:24split you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure
00:28:31don't stupid or level you go and get the sticks ready in 10 minutes else i'll be reporting you
00:28:38i said half an hour when you ordered then figured it out wait top of my water
00:28:47it's all right
00:28:52oh
00:28:53mary you owe me a proper meal i refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake
00:29:02aubrey why are you waitressing we're not really married what i do is none of your business
00:29:07let's go the advertisers are waiting
00:29:12keep an eye on her make sure nobody messes with her i'm not her agent but she's my wife
00:29:20at least on paper okay guys if you don't need anything else i'm gonna head out and change
00:29:25shifts oh my god my ray it's gone since you're the only one serving us i suspect you stole my
00:29:35ray just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is i wouldn't even want to touch
00:29:40the stuff you've worn let alone steal it denying won't help let's own you somewhere
00:29:47see this is proof
00:29:52i'm gonna have you fired no way you're framing me on purpose
00:30:05got it get the restaurant owner over here for me
00:30:09you and your husband are so sweet you always remember to buy his favorite pizza
00:30:17sweet we haven't gotten busy since thanksgiving three years ago
00:30:22look at them that's what we call sweet i wish my hubby was like that
00:30:28fuck that's actually my husband you jerk cheating on me behind my back
00:30:33i wouldn't have to be out here lasting around
00:30:49if you didn't push me to do it look at yourself sloppy
00:30:55you're rude
00:30:56totally unfeminine i want a divorce
00:31:01crazy lady
00:31:03karma will get that scumbag no need for karma i can handle this myself
00:31:14hand me the car key
00:31:15chris leo's not the rule you wanted
00:31:28no way
00:31:29why him i cannot understand that
00:31:32he has fewer instagram followers than me
00:31:35and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars
00:31:37the director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife
00:31:41leo and his wife are hollywood's poster couple
00:31:44for true love
00:31:45what about you
00:31:46you're a 40 euro bachelor
00:31:48known around town as a total playboy
00:31:51what if i told everyone
00:31:54that i've actually been in love with one woman for all those years
00:31:58but she's married
00:31:59and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her
00:32:02you think that would lend me the role
00:32:04sounds more like excused me
00:32:06that's not good enough huh
00:32:08all right
00:32:09do i have to say she just got divorced and i'm rushing to marry her
00:32:13vowing to never look at another supermodel again
00:32:16to prove i can be a committed guy
00:32:18now that's a story people might buy into
00:32:21but the problem is
00:32:23you're just making this up on the spot
00:32:25all right
00:32:26i wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real
00:32:32damn it
00:32:36fuck
00:32:37i'm so sorry
00:32:44are you nuts
00:32:45nuts
00:32:46is that all your men got
00:32:50yeah i'm nuts
00:32:52but you guys eat both cooked by nuts
00:32:54sleep with nuts
00:32:55have kids with nuts
00:32:56you are the real nuts here
00:32:58no offense
00:32:59but i'm chris roberts
00:33:01i only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old
00:33:04only supermodels
00:33:08screw you fuck chris roberts
00:33:12shit
00:33:22i sold the house
00:33:30you got till tonight to move out
00:33:32or
00:33:33your stuff will be thrown away
00:33:35if you want to divorce me
00:33:39fine
00:33:39go ahead
00:33:40but how dare you sell our house
00:33:43without my consent
00:33:45i'll sue you
00:33:47think you can afford a lawyer
00:33:48don't mess with me
00:33:50or apply for custody for our son
00:33:52jobless housewife wife you
00:33:54won't stand a chance
00:33:55despicable
00:33:57so
00:33:58you divorced
00:33:59it's none of your business
00:34:02marry me
00:34:02are you insane
00:34:10my car's worth four million dollars
00:34:15you want to talk about marriage
00:34:18or compensation
00:34:20this way ma'am
00:34:22watch your step ma'am
00:34:28welcome ma'am
00:34:36wow
00:34:46so it's your house at 5 central avenue
00:34:49i've seen it in a magazine
00:34:51so i get a room like this for fake marriage
00:35:08no
00:35:09this is for elizabeth my dog
00:35:11yours is upstairs
00:35:12bigger and better
00:35:14forget that
00:35:16come sign the contract
00:35:17sign this
00:35:21and you will be my wife
00:35:22sorry what's your name again
00:35:24aubry
00:35:25okay
00:35:26aubry
00:35:27listen to me
00:35:28i love you
00:35:30for more than 10 years
00:35:31i heard
00:35:32that you're divorced
00:35:33so
00:35:35i popped the question right away
00:35:37what
00:35:38really
00:35:39are you kidding me
00:35:40aubry
00:35:42this marriage is just for show
00:35:43i hope you won't catch real feelings for me
00:35:46relax
00:35:48not falling for you
00:35:49as easy as drinking and eating
00:35:51great
00:35:51that's amazing
00:35:52once i secure the role
00:35:54and back that oscar
00:35:55we'll part our ways
00:35:58smoothly
00:35:59so we stuck together
00:36:02until we win an oscar
00:36:03might as well say
00:36:06so that do us a part
00:36:07don't worry about that
00:36:08i'm gonna pay you an acting salary
00:36:11the same as i do with my models and actors
00:36:13you're chris roberts
00:36:15those actresses must earn a fortune
00:36:18considering our attitude
00:36:19i'm gonna go with minimum wage
00:36:21usually they pay around 500 grand
00:36:23and now
00:36:24150k
00:36:26that's enough for you
00:36:27per year
00:36:29per month
00:36:30of course
00:36:30so you have a son
00:36:45don't get me wrong
00:36:47just want to know more about my wife
00:36:49yeah
00:36:55his name is luke
00:36:57he's nine
00:36:58in summer camp
00:37:00unaware of the divorce
00:37:01good lord
00:37:12that looks calorie packed
00:37:14first
00:37:15first it's not for you
00:37:16second
00:37:17i hate when people reduce food to calories
00:37:19jeez
00:37:21touchy
00:37:22it'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic
00:37:26keep that up
00:37:27another thing
00:37:28clear your schedule for tomorrow
00:37:30for meeting the director
00:37:31already?
00:37:34this is your first time stepping out as my wife
00:37:36and i really want you to take it seriously
00:37:38need to dress up nicely all right
00:37:40because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife
00:37:44come on
00:37:45this top i'm wearing is like from the supermarket
00:37:47i'll solve this problem right now
00:37:50hey brad
00:37:52didn't you say you could transform any woman
00:37:56oh my god
00:38:00i didn't expect this to be such a huge project
00:38:03but luckily i'm a hollywood stylish
00:38:06all right girls
00:38:07let's get going
00:38:09right here
00:38:11i got it
00:38:12i got it
00:38:16oh
00:38:19are you okay baby?
00:38:22watch out
00:38:23just calm down
00:38:24can you sit up back here?
00:38:25just sit down
00:38:26get him out of here
00:38:27oh my god
00:38:28are you okay baby?
00:38:29are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:38:40she's my wife now
00:38:41so yes
00:38:41it's worth it
00:38:43baby real
00:38:46i did my best today
00:38:47remember
00:38:49rome wasn't built in the day
00:38:59how do i look?
00:39:05wow
00:39:07you're the most beautiful you have ever seen
00:39:10wow
00:39:13you sure ain't sure of that ass
00:39:15why aren't you closing the victoria's secret show this year?
00:39:18Julia
00:39:20your acting skills surpassed mine
00:39:22that's what handling a big story does to me
00:39:25let's go girls
00:39:26thank you so much guys
00:39:28no problem baby
00:39:30jeez
00:39:32how did i not realize my backside has such potential?
00:39:36just like kardashians
00:39:38guess
00:39:39you regret this fake marriage now huh?
00:39:42god is fair
00:39:43though he didn't bless you with a fury physique
00:39:46he gave you unbrittle confidence
00:39:52wow
00:39:53you're totally gonna nail that role now
00:39:55we look so perfect together
00:39:57it's a match made in heaven
00:39:59it's a match made in heaven
00:40:10no no no
00:40:11there's no spark between you two
00:40:13you don't love your wife at all
00:40:15i'm sorry that i can't give you this role
00:40:17but we haven't even started talking
00:40:19you know the law talk is about feeling
00:40:21i don't feel your love for her
00:40:24he's crazy about me
00:40:27the moment i was divorced he swooped in with a helicopter proposal
00:40:31i love you baby
00:40:33i love you baby
00:40:34that's because i just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you
00:40:38come back to me
00:40:39come back to me
00:40:43or you'll learn to be a proper
00:40:45jeez
00:40:48are you sure he's top hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:40:52yes
00:40:53but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me
00:40:55maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water
00:40:58any steak
00:40:59perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper
00:41:01bursting from one extra bite
00:41:03you guessed right
00:41:09much better now
00:41:23can you eat quieter?
00:41:24you're disturbing my reading
00:41:34you're married?
00:41:35what's up?
00:41:36what?
00:41:37your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:41:39yeah of course
00:41:40i can cover your shift today
00:41:43where are you going?
00:41:45the contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you
00:41:55Aubrey
00:41:56what are you doing here?
00:41:58you're not stalking me are you?
00:42:00listen
00:42:01stop harassing me
00:42:02Tiffany and i are engaged
00:42:06sorry to disappoint you
00:42:07but i'm married too
00:42:09it's not just you who found someone new
00:42:11Jim
00:42:13i told you she put up a front about finding someone else
00:42:18i do have a husband
00:42:19and he's hotter
00:42:21wealthier
00:42:22and lasts longer in bed than you ever did
00:42:24if he's so great
00:42:26when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:42:30come on man
00:42:31don't just stand there
00:42:32serve us
00:42:34i want
00:42:35hot tea
00:42:36hot tea
00:42:46jeez
00:42:47you trying to sculpt me?
00:42:49are you satisfied now?
00:43:00that's better
00:43:02drink up dear
00:43:04ouch
00:43:05this huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand
00:43:08check out my engagement ring from mark
00:43:10check out my engagement ring from mark
00:43:12it's whopping two carats
00:43:15i heard your wedding ring was
00:43:18a freebie that came with some furniture shopping
00:43:23wasn't it?
00:43:24wow
00:43:25good for you
00:43:26too
00:43:27and when you guys eventually split
00:43:28you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure
00:43:34don't stoop their level
00:43:37you go and get the steaks ready in 10 minutes
00:43:40else i'll be reporting you
00:43:41i said half an hour when you ordered
00:43:44then
00:43:45figure it out
00:43:47wait
00:43:49tub off my water
00:43:50mary
00:43:52you owe me a proper meal
00:43:53i'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake
00:43:57Aubrey
00:44:05Aubrey
00:44:06why are you waitressing?
00:44:07we're not really married
00:44:08what i do is none of your business
00:44:13let's go
00:44:14the advertisers are waiting
00:44:18keep an eye on her
00:44:19make sure nobody messes with her
00:44:21i'm not her agent
00:44:22but she's my wife
00:44:23at least on paper
00:44:24okay guys
00:44:25if you don't need anything else
00:44:26i'm gonna head out and change shifts
00:44:30oh my god
00:44:31my ring
00:44:32it's gone
00:44:34since you're the only one serving us
00:44:36i suspect you stole my ring
00:44:38just because you're a bitch
00:44:39doesn't mean everyone is
00:44:41i wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn
00:44:44let alone steal it
00:44:46denying won't help
00:44:48let's arm you somewhere
00:44:52see
00:44:54this is proof
00:44:56i'm gonna have you
00:45:00fired
00:45:01no way
00:45:02you're framing me on purpose
00:45:09got it
00:45:10get the restaurant owner over here for me
00:45:12you and your husband are so sweet
00:45:15you and your husband are so sweet
00:45:17you always remember to buy his favorite pizza
00:45:20sweet?
00:45:21we haven't gotten busy since thanksgiving three years ago
00:45:26look at them
00:45:27that's what we call sweet
00:45:28i wish my hubby was like that
00:45:30that's actually my husband
00:45:32you jerk cheating on me behind my back
00:45:33that's actually my husband
00:45:34that's actually my husband
00:45:35you jerk cheating on me behind my back
00:45:37Aubrey
00:45:38let me explain
00:45:39wait
00:45:40wait
00:45:41wait
00:45:42stop
00:45:43stop
00:45:44stop
00:45:46alright
00:45:47enough
00:45:48cut it out
00:45:49i
00:45:50wouldn't have to be out here
00:45:52messing around
00:45:53if you
00:45:54didn't push me
00:45:55to do it
00:45:56look at yourself
00:45:57sloppy
00:45:59rude
00:46:00totally
00:46:01unfeminine
00:46:03i want a divorce
00:46:05crazy lady
00:46:06ahhh
00:46:14karma
00:46:15get that scumbag
00:46:16no need for karma
00:46:17i can handle this myself
00:46:18hand me the car key
00:46:29chris
00:46:30leo snuck the row you wanted
00:46:32no way
00:46:33why him
00:46:34i cannot understand that
00:46:35he has fewer instagram followers than me
00:46:38and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars
00:46:40the director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife
00:46:44leo and his wife are hollywood's poster couple for true love
00:46:48but what about you
00:46:49you're a forty-year-old bachelor
00:46:51known around town as a total playboy
00:46:54what if
00:46:55i told everyone
00:46:56that i've actually been in love with one woman for all those years
00:47:00but she's married
00:47:02and all my wild dating was just to try and forget it
00:47:04you think that would lend me the role
00:47:06you think that would lend me the role
00:47:07sounds more like
00:47:08excuse me
00:47:09that's not good enough huh
00:47:11alright
00:47:12do i have to say she just got divorced and i'm rushing to marry her
00:47:16vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove i can be a committed guy
00:47:21now that's a story people might buy into
00:47:23but the problem is you're just making this up on the spot
00:47:28alright
00:47:29i wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real
00:47:34damn it
00:47:35fuck
00:47:36fuck
00:47:37i'm so sorry
00:47:41are you nuts
00:47:48nuts
00:47:49is that all your men got
00:47:53yeah i'm nuts
00:47:54but you guys eat those cooked by nuts
00:47:56sleep with nuts
00:47:57have kids with nuts
00:47:58you are the real nuts here
00:47:59no offense
00:48:00but i'm chris roberts
00:48:02i only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old
00:48:06only supermodels
00:48:08screw you fuck chris roberts
00:48:10i sold the house you got till tonight to move out or your stuff will be thrown away
00:48:38if you want to divorce me fine
00:48:42go ahead
00:48:43but how dare you sell our house without my consent
00:48:48i'll sue you
00:48:49think you can afford a lawyer
00:48:51don't mess with me
00:48:53or a fight for the custody for our son
00:48:55a jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance
00:48:58despicable
00:49:00so you divorced
00:49:02it's none of your business
00:49:04marry me
00:49:05marry me
00:49:12are you insane
00:49:16my car's worth 4 million dollars
00:49:19you want to talk about marriage
00:49:22or compensation
00:49:24this way mom
00:49:26watch your step mom
00:49:30welcome ma'am
00:49:37welcome ma'am
00:49:42wow
00:49:49so it's your house at 5 central avenue
00:49:52i've seen it in a magazine
00:49:54so i get a room like this for fake marriage
00:50:11no
00:50:12this is for elizabeth my dog
00:50:14yours is upstairs
00:50:15bigger and better
00:50:18forget that
00:50:19come sign the contract
00:50:23sign this
00:50:24and you will be my wife
00:50:26sorry what's your name again
00:50:28aubrey
00:50:29okay
00:50:30aubrey
00:50:31listen to me
00:50:32i love you for more than 10 years
00:50:34i heard
00:50:35that you're divorced
00:50:37so i popped the question right away
00:50:41what
00:50:42really
00:50:43are you kidding me
00:50:44aubrey
00:50:45this marriage is just for show
00:50:46i hope you won't catch real feelings for me
00:50:50relax
00:50:51not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating
00:50:54great
00:50:55that's amazing
00:50:56once i secure the role and back that oscar
00:50:58we'll part our ways
00:51:00smoothly
00:51:01smoothly
00:51:02so we stuck together until we win an oscar
00:51:07might as well say
00:51:08so that do us a part
00:51:10don't worry about that
00:51:11i'm gonna pay you an acting salary
00:51:13the same as i do with my models and actors
00:51:16you're chris roberts
00:51:18those actresses must earn a fortune
00:51:20considering our attitude i'm gonna go with minimum wage
00:51:24usually they pay around 500 grand
00:51:26and now
00:51:27150k
00:51:28that's enough for you
00:51:29per year?
00:51:31per month of course
00:51:33of course
00:51:47so you have a son?
00:51:49don't get me wrong
00:51:50just wanna know more about my wife
00:51:52yeah
00:51:57his name is luke
00:52:00he's nine
00:52:01in summer camp
00:52:03unaware of the divorce
00:52:14good lord
00:52:15that looks calorie packed
00:52:17first
00:52:18it's not for you
00:52:19second
00:52:20i hate when people reduce food to calories
00:52:24jeez
00:52:25touchy
00:52:26it'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic
00:52:30keep that up
00:52:31another thing
00:52:32clear your schedule for tomorrow
00:52:33for meeting the director
00:52:36already?
00:52:37this is your first time stepping out as my wife
00:52:39and i really want you to take it seriously
00:52:42need to dress up nicely alright?
00:52:44because it's gonna be the first time that you're gonna act as my wife
00:52:48come on
00:52:49this top i'm wearing is like from the supermarket
00:52:52i'll solve this problem right now
00:52:55hey brad
00:52:57didn't you say you could transform any woman?
00:53:01oh my god
00:53:03i didn't expect this to be such a huge project
00:53:07but luckily i'm a hollywood stylish
00:53:09alright girls
00:53:10let's get going
00:53:11let's get going
00:53:12hmm
00:53:13right here
00:53:14i got it
00:53:15i got it
00:53:25are you okay please?
00:53:26watch out
00:53:27please calm down
00:53:28can't you set up back here?
00:53:29sit down
00:53:30get back here
00:53:31oh my god
00:53:32are you okay baby?
00:53:33are these ladies fashion pieces worth the expense for her?
00:53:43she's my wife now
00:53:44so yes
00:53:45it's worth it
00:53:48baby Ro
00:53:49i did my best today
00:53:51remember
00:53:52Rome wasn't built in a day
00:54:04how do i look?
00:54:09wow
00:54:11you're the most beautiful you have ever seen
00:54:16wow
00:54:17you sure ain't sure of that ass
00:54:18why aren't you closing the victoria's secret show this year?
00:54:22Julia
00:54:23your acting skills surpassed mine
00:54:26that's what handling a big story does to me
00:54:29let's go girls
00:54:30thank you so much guys
00:54:32no problem baby
00:54:35jeez
00:54:36how did i not realize my backside has such potential?
00:54:40just like kardashians
00:54:42guess you regret this fake marriage now huh?
00:54:46god is fair
00:54:47though he didn't bless you with a fury physique
00:54:50he gave you unbrittle confidence
00:54:56wow
00:54:57you're totally gonna nail that role now
00:54:58we look so perfect together
00:55:01it's a match made in heaven
00:55:03huh
00:55:13no no no
00:55:14there's no spark between you two
00:55:17you don't love your wife at all
00:55:19i'm sorry that i can't give you this role
00:55:21but we haven't even started talking
00:55:23you know the lot talk is about feeling
00:55:25feeling
00:55:26i don't feel your love for her
00:55:29he's crazy about me
00:55:31the moment i was divorced
00:55:32he swooped in with a helicopter proposal
00:55:36i love you baby
00:55:38that's because i just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you
00:55:41hmm
00:55:42come back to me
00:55:47where you'll learn to be a proper
00:55:49jeez
00:55:52are you sure he's top hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
00:55:56yes but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me
00:55:59maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water
00:56:01any steak
00:56:02perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper
00:56:05bursting from one extra bite
00:56:07you guessed right
00:56:09much better now
00:56:13much better now
00:56:26can you eat quieter?
00:56:28you're disturbing my reading
00:56:30you're married?
00:56:31what's up?
00:56:32what?
00:56:33your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
00:56:34yeah of course
00:56:35i can cover your shift today
00:56:37where are you going?
00:56:39the contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you
00:56:42Albrey
00:57:00what are you doing here?
00:57:02you're not stalking me are you?
00:57:04listen
00:57:05stop harassing me
00:57:06Tiffany and i are engaged
00:57:09sorry to disappoint you
00:57:11but i'm married too
00:57:12it's not just you who found someone new
00:57:15Jim!
00:57:17i told you she put up a front about finding someone else
00:57:22i do have a husband
00:57:23and he's hotter
00:57:25wealthier
00:57:26and lasts longer in bed than you ever did
00:57:28if he's so great
00:57:30when's an old timer like you still going here serving tapes?
00:57:34come on man
00:57:35don't just stand there
00:57:36serve us
00:57:38i want
00:57:39hot tea
00:57:42hot tea
00:57:46heat
00:57:47d
00:57:58geez
00:57:59you trying to scald me?
00:58:01are you satisfied now?
00:58:02Are you satisfied now?
00:58:04That's better.
00:58:05Drink up, dear.
00:58:07Ouch!
00:58:09This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
00:58:13Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
00:58:16It's whopping two carats.
00:58:18I heard your wedding ring was...
00:58:21a freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
00:58:27Wow, good for you.
00:58:29And when you guys eventually split...
00:58:32You will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
00:58:38Don't stoop their level.
00:58:40You, go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
00:58:45I said half an hour when you ordered.
00:58:48Then figured it out.
00:58:51Wait.
00:58:52Tub off my water.
00:58:54Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
00:59:01I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
00:59:08Aubrey?
00:59:09Why are you waitressing?
00:59:11We're not really married.
00:59:12What I do is none of your business.
00:59:16Let's go.
00:59:17The advertisers are waiting.
00:59:21Keep an eye on her.
00:59:23Make sure nobody messes with her.
00:59:25I'm not her agent.
00:59:26But she's my wife.
00:59:27At least on paper.
00:59:28Okay, guys.
00:59:29If you don't need anything else, I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
00:59:33Oh my god.
00:59:35My ring.
00:59:36It's gone.
00:59:37Since you're the only one serving us, I suspect you stole my ring.
00:59:42Just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone is.
00:59:45I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn, let alone steal it.
00:59:49Denial won't help.
00:59:51It's on you somewhere.
00:59:53See?
00:59:57This is proof.
01:00:02I'm gonna have you fired.
01:00:05No way!
01:00:06You're framing me on purpose.
01:00:12Got it.
01:00:13Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
01:00:19You and your husband are so sweet.
01:00:21You're always remembered to buy his favorite pizza.
01:00:24Sweet?
01:00:25We haven't gotten busy since Thanksgiving three years ago.
01:00:30Look at them.
01:00:31That's what we call sweet.
01:00:33I wish my hubby was like that.
01:00:36Fuck, that's actually my husband.
01:00:38You jerk cheating on me behind my back.
01:00:40Aubrey.
01:00:41Let me explain.
01:00:43Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:44Quick.
01:00:45Stop.
01:00:47First.
01:00:49Alright, enough.
01:00:51Cut it out.
01:00:53I wouldn't have to be out here.
01:00:55Messing around if you didn't push me to do it.
01:00:59Look at yourself.
01:01:01Sloppy.
01:01:02You're rude.
01:01:04Totally unfeminine.
01:01:06I want a divorce.
01:01:08Crazy lady.
01:01:09Get that scum back.
01:01:19No need for karma.
01:01:20I can handle this myself.
01:01:21Hand me the car key.
01:01:22You like him.
01:01:22Shut the car key.
01:01:24I'll call him.
01:01:25You next is when I found over him.
01:01:26That's okay.
01:01:26I mean, I'll get your lip first.
01:01:27You get you back.
01:01:28I'll get you back.
01:01:28I'll get up.
01:01:28He'll put it, you back.
01:01:29No way! Why him? I cannot understand that. He has fewer Instagram followers than me, and his last movie made only a hundred million dollars.
01:01:44The director's looking for a guy who's totally devoted to his wife. Leo and his wife are Hollywood's poster couple for true love.
01:01:52But what about you? You're a 40-year-old bachelor, known around town as a total playboy.
01:01:58What if I told everyone that I've actually been in love with one woman for all those years, but she's married, and all my wild dating was just to try and forget her?
01:02:09You think that would lend me the role? Sounds more like excused me.
01:02:13That's not good enough, huh?
01:02:15Alright, do I have to say she just got divorced and I'm rushing to marry her, vowing to never look at another supermodel again to prove I can be a committed guy?
01:02:25Now that's a story people might buy into. But the problem is, you're just making this up on the spot.
01:02:32Alright.
01:02:33I wish a woman like that would just fall into my life for real.
01:02:42Damn it!
01:02:43Fuck.
01:02:50I'm so sorry.
01:02:51Are you nuts?
01:02:52Nuts?
01:02:56Is that all your men got?
01:02:57Yeah, I'm nuts.
01:02:58But you guys eat don't cook by nuts.
01:03:00Sleep with nuts.
01:03:01Have kids with nuts.
01:03:03You are the real nuts here.
01:03:04No offense.
01:03:06But I'm Chris Roberts.
01:03:07I only sleep with supermodels under 25 years old.
01:03:13Only supermodels!
01:03:14Screw you fuck Chris Roberts!
01:03:17Screw you fuck Chris Roberts!
01:03:18Ah!
01:03:19Ah!
01:03:20Ah!
01:03:21Ah!
01:03:22Ah!
01:03:23Ah!
01:03:24Ah!
01:03:25Ah!
01:03:26Ah!
01:03:27Ah!
01:03:28Ah!
01:03:29Ah!
01:03:30Ah!
01:03:31Ah!
01:03:32Ah!
01:03:33Ah!
01:03:34Ah!
01:03:35Ah!
01:03:36I sold the house.
01:03:37You've got till tonight to move out.
01:03:39Or your stuff will be thrown away.
01:03:44If you want to divorce me, fine!
01:03:46Go ahead!
01:03:47But how dare you sell our house without my consent!
01:03:52I'll sue you!
01:03:53Think you can afford a lawyer?
01:03:56Don't mess with me.
01:03:57Or apply for a custody for our son.
01:03:59A jobless housewife like you won't stand a chance.
01:04:03Despicable!
01:04:04So, a divorce?
01:04:06It's none of your business!
01:04:08Marry me!
01:04:15Are you insane?
01:04:19My car's worth 4 million dollars.
01:04:22You want to talk about marriage?
01:04:25Or compensation?
01:04:28This way, mom.
01:04:33Watch your step, mom.
01:04:38Welcome, ma'am.
01:04:41Welcome, ma'am.
01:04:52Wow!
01:04:53So, it's your house at 5 Central Avenue.
01:04:56I've seen it in a magazine.
01:04:57So, I get a room like this for a fake marriage?
01:05:00No.
01:05:01This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
01:05:02Yours is upstairs.
01:05:03Bigger and better.
01:05:04Forget that.
01:05:05Come sign the contract.
01:05:06Sign this, and you will be my wife.
01:05:07Sorry, what's your name again?
01:05:08Aubrey.
01:05:09Okay.
01:05:10Aubrey.
01:05:11Aubrey.
01:05:12Listen to me.
01:05:13I love you for more than 10 years.
01:05:14I've heard that you're divorced.
01:05:15So, I popped the question right away.
01:05:16Is this for a fake marriage?
01:05:17Is this for a fake marriage?
01:05:18No.
01:05:19This is for Elizabeth, my dog.
01:05:20Yours is upstairs.
01:05:21Bigger and better.
01:05:22Forget that.
01:05:23Come sign the contract.
01:05:27Sign this, and you will be my wife.
01:05:30Sorry, what's your name again?
01:05:31Aubrey.
01:05:32Okay.
01:05:33Aubrey.
01:05:34Listen to me.
01:05:35I love you for more than 10 years.
01:05:38I heard that you're divorced.
01:05:41So, I popped the question right away.
01:05:44What?
01:05:45Really?
01:05:46Are you kidding me?
01:05:47Aubrey.
01:05:48This marriage is just for show.
01:05:50I hope you won't catch real feelings for me.
01:05:54Relax.
01:05:55Not falling for you as easy as drinking and eating.
01:05:58Great.
01:05:59That's amazing.
01:06:00Once I secure the role and back that Oscar,
01:06:03we'll part our ways smoothly.
01:06:07So, we stuck together until we win an Oscar?
01:06:11Might as well say, till that do us a part.
01:06:14Don't worry about that.
01:06:15I'm gonna pay you an acting salary.
01:06:17The same as I do with my models and actors.
01:06:20You're Chris Roberts.
01:06:22Those actresses must earn a fortune.
01:06:24Considering our attitude, I'm gonna go with minimum wage.
01:06:27Usually, they pay around 500 grand.
01:06:30And now, 150K.
01:06:32That's enough for you.
01:06:34Per year?
01:06:35Per month, of course.
01:06:50So, you have a son?
01:06:52Don't get me wrong.
01:06:53Just wanna know more about my wife.
01:06:56Yeah.
01:06:57His name is Luke.
01:06:58He's nine.
01:06:59In summer camp, I'm aware of the divorce.
01:07:00Good lord.
01:07:01That looks calorie packed.
01:07:02First, it's not for you.
01:07:03Second, I hate when people reduce food to calories.
01:07:05Jeez, touchy.
01:07:06It'll make my loving you seem even more dramatic.
01:07:07Keep that up.
01:07:08Another thing.
01:07:09Is this a man?
01:07:10No.
01:07:11No.
01:07:12No.
01:07:13No.
01:07:14No.
01:07:15No.
01:07:16No.
01:07:17No.
01:07:18No.
01:07:19No.
01:07:20No.
01:07:21No.
01:07:22No.
01:07:23No.
01:07:24No.
01:07:25No.
01:07:26No.
01:07:27No.
01:07:28No.
01:07:29No.
01:07:30No.
01:07:31No.
01:07:32No.
01:07:33No.
01:07:34No.
01:07:35No.
01:07:36No.
01:07:37No.
01:07:38No.
01:07:39No.
01:07:40No.
01:07:41No.
01:07:42No.
01:07:43No.
01:07:44No.
01:07:45No.
01:07:46No.
01:07:47No.
01:07:48No.
01:07:49No.
01:07:50No.
01:07:51No.
01:07:52No.
01:07:53No.
01:07:54No.
01:07:55No.
01:07:56No.
01:07:57No.
01:07:58No.
01:07:59No.
01:08:00No.
01:08:01No.
01:08:02No.
01:08:03Oh. My. God. I didn't expect this to be such a huge project. But luckily, I'm a Hollywood
01:08:12stylish. Alright, girls. Let's get going. Right here.
01:08:18I got it.
01:08:19Are you okay, baby? Watch out. Boys, calm down. Can you set her back here? Get her back here. Oh, my God. Are you okay, baby?
01:08:41Are these ladies' fashion pieces worth the expense for her? She's my wife now. So, yes, it's worth it.
01:08:49Hmm.
01:08:51Baby Ro, I did my best today. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day.
01:09:11How do I look?
01:09:13Wow. You're the most beautiful you have ever seen.
01:09:17Wow. You sure ain't sure of that ass. Why aren't you closing the Victoria's Secret show this year?
01:09:26Julia, her acting skills surpassed mine.
01:09:30That's what handling a big star does to me.
01:09:33Let's go, girls.
01:09:34Thank you so much, guys.
01:09:36No problem, baby.
01:09:37Geez, how did I not realize my backside has such potential? Just like Kardashians. Guess you regret this fake marriage now, huh?
01:09:49God is fair. Though he didn't bless you with a fury physique, he gave you unbrittle confidence.
01:09:55Wow. You're totally gonna nail that role now. We look so perfect together.
01:10:04It's a match made in heaven.
01:10:06No, no, no. There's no spark between you two. You don't love your wife at all. I'm sorry that I can't give you this role.
01:10:24But we haven't even started talking.
01:10:27You know the law talk is about feeling. I don't feel your love for her.
01:10:33He's crazy about me. The moment I was divorced, he swooped in with a helicopter proposal.
01:10:40I love you, baby. That's because I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
01:10:45Come back to me, or you'll learn to be a proper lover.
01:10:55Geez.
01:10:55Are you sure he's top Hollywood's director and not some charlatan?
01:11:00Yes, but he did catch you rolling your eyes at me.
01:11:03Maybe it's only because you ordered a cup of water and a steak?
01:11:06Perhaps that's to avoid your dress zipper bursting from one extra bite.
01:11:11You guessed right.
01:11:12Much better now.
01:11:29Can you eat quieter? You're disturbing my reading.
01:11:33You're married? What's up?
01:11:44What? Your daughter's in the hospital with a fever?
01:11:46Yeah, of course. I can cover your shift today.
01:11:50Where are you going?
01:11:51The contract doesn't require me to report my personal itinerary to you.
01:11:55Aubrey, what are you doing here?
01:12:05You're not stalking me, are you?
01:12:07Listen, stop harassing me.
01:12:09Tiffany and I are engaged.
01:12:13Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm married too.
01:12:16It's not just you who found someone new.
01:12:18Jim!
01:12:18I told you she put up a friend about finding someone else.
01:12:25I do have a husband, and he's hotter, wealthier, and last longer in bed than you ever did.
01:12:31If he's so great, why is an old-timer like you still going here serving tapes?
01:12:37Come on, man. Don't just stand there. Serve us.
01:12:41I want hot tea.
01:12:43Jeez, you trying to scald me?
01:13:01Are you satisfied now?
01:13:07That's better.
01:13:08Drink up, dear.
01:13:11Ouch!
01:13:11This huge diamond ring makes it hard to lift my hand.
01:13:17Check out my engagement ring from Mark.
01:13:19It's whopping two carats.
01:13:22I heard your wedding ring was...
01:13:24A freebie that came with some furniture shopping, wasn't it?
01:13:30Wow, good for you.
01:13:33And when you guys eventually split,
01:13:35you will get a nice chunk of change from selling this treasure.
01:13:39Don't stoop to our level.
01:13:43You, go and get the steaks ready in ten minutes, else I'll be reporting you.
01:13:48I said half an hour when you ordered.
01:13:51Then figured it out.
01:13:54Wait.
01:13:56Top of my water.
01:13:57Mary, you owe me a proper meal.
01:14:06I'll refrain from stabbing those two for your job's sake.
01:14:12Aubrey?
01:14:12Why are you waitressing?
01:14:14We're not really married.
01:14:15What I do is none of your business.
01:14:17Let's go.
01:14:20The advertisers are waiting.
01:14:24Keep an eye on her.
01:14:26Make sure nobody messes with her.
01:14:28I'm not her agent.
01:14:29But she's my wife, at least on paper.
01:14:31Okay, guys.
01:14:32If you don't need anything else,
01:14:34I'm gonna head out and change shifts.
01:14:36Oh my god!
01:14:38My ring!
01:14:39It's gone!
01:14:41Since you're the only one serving us,
01:14:43I suspect you stole my ring.
01:14:45Just because you're a bitch,
01:14:46doesn't mean everyone is.
01:14:48I wouldn't even want to touch the stuff you've worn,
01:14:51let alone steal it.
01:14:53Then now you won't help.
01:14:55Let's arm you somewhere.
01:14:59See?
01:15:00This is proof.
01:15:05I'm gonna have you fired.
01:15:08No way!
01:15:09You're framing me on purpose.
01:15:13Got it.
01:15:17Get the restaurant owner over here for me.
01:15:18All right.
01:15:24We're hiring.
01:15:36Got it.
01:15:37Got it.
01:15:37We'll rip.
01:15:38In there,
01:15:40I'll keep back.
01:15:40See?
01:15:41Let's grandparents.
01:15:43I'm sorry.
01:15:45I'm sorry.
01:15:46Bye.
01:15:47Bye.
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