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#Evil Lives Here
#Evil Lives Here
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00:00It really started in 1988, I saw a small little blurb about a truck driver and a sexual assault
00:19that had happened in Texas. A mother and her daughter were broke down on the side of the
00:26road and a truck driver pulled over and he raped them both, put them back in their car and left
00:33them. They showed a sketch of the truck and it was Blaine's truck. And all the bills went
00:43off for me. I've just carried it with me for so long and it just felt like it was time to
00:49talk to somebody about it. And so I am in no way trying to ever say that I can compare
00:57myself to Blaine's other victims. I can't imagine like what they go through on a daily basis.
01:10I just know what I go through on a daily basis from what he's done to me.
01:24I've always thought of Blaine as the boogeyman. I've tried to explain like horror movies and
01:30that kind of thing do not scare me because I know who the real boogeyman is. I know who
01:36the real monster is. And when there's no storyline and there's no Hollywood, no cameras and things
01:44like that and you know someone like that is out there, I can't sleep. I just can't sleep.
02:06I don't know who the real monster is. I can't sleep. I can't sleep. I can't sleep.
02:18This was probably around the time that Blaine first came into our lives.
02:39I would be about five years old, and prior to this, it had just been the three of us,
02:44my mom and my sister and me.
02:46Blaine was a long-haul trucker that would sometimes be gone for days.
02:50I remember him coming around. It was exciting.
02:54It was awesome to have any male figure around.
02:59As a young boy, I didn't even realize that I was missing a father figure.
03:04I played Little League baseball, so you see every other boy there with his dad.
03:10Dad shows up to watch him play, so the few times that Blaine made it to my games, it was big.
03:22Like, so any time that those holes were filled were important.
03:30He seemed like Superman.
03:34He had his foot on the pedal kind of personality about everything.
03:39When my mom first started dating Blaine, he was pretty decent, but that kind of changed after they got married.
03:51Sometimes you can see the monster that's in front of you, and you can tell, you know, you just know that he flew under all those radars.
03:59He flew under every radar possible, and he had everybody fooled.
04:02We lived in an apartment complex with other families and young kids my age.
04:25One night, the kids that all lived in the apartment complex, we were all sleeping on the grass.
04:31Everybody just had blankets and pillows, but it was pretty late, and the silence was broke.
04:38You could hear, like, a quiet grumbling, and nobody really knew what it was.
04:45And it just kept getting louder.
04:49And from one direction, it was Blaine in the green machine.
04:55It was a 1977 Chevy, but it had a Corvette engine in it, and so it was unbelievably loud.
05:06It was unbelievably fast, and he came flying past all of us.
05:11By then, everybody's awake.
05:12Everybody knows it's him that went by, and the sound kept going until it was almost gone.
05:19By then, police cars, two of them, came past us.
05:23And they were pushing their cars to the limits, too, but they didn't have a chance.
05:31And the sound kept going, and then it came back and got louder again.
05:36And Blaine came from the other direction, flew into the apartment complex.
05:40You could hear him slam on the brakes and screech the tires, parked the truck, and you could hear his cowboy boots, click, click, click, and came running past all of us, put up his hand, said, hi, kids, and just went into the apartment and shut the door.
05:58They never found him, they never caught up to him, but it was something that I'll just never forget.
06:07Like, the sound of that engine and, like, seeing it go past, it's something that you only see in movies.
06:13It didn't seem like Blaine's running from the police.
06:16He must have done something super wrong.
06:18To all of us, it seemed great.
06:22It's only looking back now as an adult that I realized how dangerous and irresponsible all of that was.
06:29I don't think he cared about dangerous at all.
06:31Blaine liked toying with police.
06:33He liked toying with people in general.
06:35He would do things without thought of consequence.
06:38It was just another game.
06:53Yeah, this is a picture of me and my sister.
06:59During this time, like, if I needed something, I'd go to my sister.
07:02If I had a problem, if I'd go to my sister.
07:05I'd go to my sister, but it's hard that we don't have a relationship.
07:10Her and I have just...
07:14We've never...
07:17We've just never addressed the real reasons.
07:23I don't have anybody else.
07:25And that's something that we just had to deal with.
07:28Had to deal with a lot of years of silence.
07:30One morning, my sister and I were watching Saturday morning cartoons.
07:40Pretty sure we were fighting over the station.
07:43So he decided that our punishment for fighting over the TV would be to punch each other in the arms.
07:50That's enough!
07:50Basically, for my sister and I to punish each other, that way he didn't have to, but he would still get to watch.
08:00Like, he just...
08:01It made it, like, such a competition that you weren't really thinking about the consequences, or if you were going to get hurt, or if you were going to hurt somebody.
08:10It's not like I could just say, no, I don't want to do this.
08:13You know, that was it.
08:14That was what you were doing.
08:15And the more we started punching each other, the more it kind of became personal for my sister and I.
08:20Like, it wasn't about the TV anymore.
08:23As it would go on, I was really taking the worst of it.
08:28The more it started to hurt, the more I started to cry.
08:32And you kind of had rules for it.
08:35Whatever arm you punched with was the same one that you had to take to punch with.
08:39And as longer it went on, the more violent it became.
08:45There was a lot of happiness and pleasure in Blaine's face while we were doing it.
08:51A monster forces children to fight against each other.
08:56A maniac.
08:57A hunter.
08:58A predator.
09:00All of those things.
09:03And looking back on it, he was like that when he got there.
09:06You know, this wasn't something that came on gradually for him.
09:10All this, whether he knew it or not, all this stuff was already mowing around in his head.
09:15He just had to have an outlet.
09:16And the outlet was my sister and me.
09:21He was...
09:23practicing to be a monster.
09:26This would be our race team.
09:41This is chariot racing.
09:42That would be Blaine in the chariot.
09:46And that would be me right in front of the chariot.
09:49You can barely see me.
09:51It was something that my grandfather started in our family.
09:55So every Saturday was race day.
09:57This is what country people do with their farm horses on Saturdays.
10:01It was fun.
10:02It was amazing.
10:04Nobody fights on that day.
10:05I wish every day was race day.
10:15When we would race our horses, Blaine had a helmet that he would wear in the chariot.
10:19And it was green.
10:21But we changed colors from green to yellow.
10:25So we bought 99 cent spray paint.
10:29Spray painted the helmet.
10:32And it was in our back washroom drying.
10:35And I went back there to get something.
10:40But I had, like, bumped it.
10:45And it fell off.
10:46So I picked it up and set it right back on there.
10:50Later on, when Blaine and my mom got home,
10:54all I heard from the back room from him was, like,
10:59what happened to the helmet?
10:59I always felt like I had to walk around eggshells around Blaine
11:05because it always changed.
11:08I never knew what I was going to be in trouble for.
11:10You just never knew what Blaine you were going to get.
11:12So you never knew what punishment you were going to get.
11:15I just, I knew it was all downhill from there.
11:19And decided the punishment was going to be to get hit
11:22with this rubber cooking spoon that my mom used.
11:29And I still remember to this day, like,
11:32he called it taking the position.
11:35I'd have to, like, bend over and put my hands on my knees
11:38and get ready for the spoon.
11:43Blaine enjoyed every minute of it.
11:47The more he saw you struggle or the more that he saw you in pain,
11:51the longer it took.
11:54It was the worst physical pain that I had felt.
11:59Up to that point in life.
12:05I can still hear the sound of it.
12:06I can, I can hear it hit me.
12:08I can hear how the sound that it would make
12:10as it was coming to hit me.
12:12And he just kept hitting me.
12:16It was miserable.
12:20Just knowing that the next one's coming.
12:22And that no one's going to stop him.
12:36And again, I'm sitting there in the middle of a punishment
12:38that I just don't understand.
12:41I don't get it.
12:42My mom was mad about it, but it wasn't,
12:48she wasn't mad because, like,
12:50did you see what you did to him?
12:52Or do you know how bad you hurt him?
12:54She was mad because she thought somebody was going to see it.
12:58So after that, it didn't, it didn't stop anything.
13:01It just made it so he had to be more creative
13:04and find ways to punish me without actually hitting me.
13:20As I got a little bit older,
13:22my mom and Blaine decided that I needed to do chores
13:25and started giving me a few responsibilities,
13:27which is fine.
13:28But one of my first responsibilities
13:30was to sweep out the garage.
13:34And I remember sweeping it
13:38and I remember doing a pretty good job.
13:41And I didn't know it,
13:43but the whole time I was doing it,
13:45he was watching me.
13:49And I swept everything up
13:51except for the last little bit
13:53that's usually there
13:55that nobody can get
13:56with a broom and a dustpan by themselves.
13:59And I remember taking the broom
14:00and just kind of pushing it off to the side.
14:04So he asked me what I was doing.
14:17And he's like,
14:18did you sweep it all up and get it out?
14:19And I said, yeah.
14:20Yes, sir.
14:22I was watching you.
14:23And so because I had lied to him
14:26or I didn't tell him the truth
14:28the way he wanted to hear it, I guess,
14:30he decided to punish me because of that.
14:34Now, come on!
14:34So we had this, like, small crawl space
14:42under our house.
14:43It was like walking into a big, like, grave,
14:48like a big dirt grave.
14:51The air doesn't move in there.
14:53It just has dead spiders, dead mice.
14:57It just was a gooey, desolate, horrible place.
15:04So that room, oh, man.
15:13He didn't even go down in that room.
15:15Like, nobody in the family would go down in there.
15:17I often didn't understand
15:23what it was I was being punished for.
15:27And I still didn't understand why.
15:28I just...
15:29I didn't get it.
15:33Like...
15:35You just can't do that to somebody.
15:37I cannot go into crawl spaces to this day
15:42because I know I'm not there.
15:46I know I'm not in that room.
15:49But it stops me and it freezes me
15:52and I feel trapped.
15:57When I was in that room,
16:00there was no escape.
16:02There wasn't, like,
16:03oh, if I can wait till he walks away
16:04and I can sneak out and stuff like that.
16:06No, there was no doing that.
16:10But I wasn't even able to talk to my mom
16:11about the abuse
16:12and I wasn't able to open up
16:13and say anything, like, you know,
16:14that had been going on that, like...
16:16Because she was there for the majority of it.
16:18So I don't really know that, like,
16:20there was anything to tell her.
16:22It just felt lonely
16:23because my mom was, uh...
16:25She was, like, mute.
16:28Like, the way she dealt with it
16:29was by being silent.
16:33I didn't feel safe anymore.
16:34I really didn't.
16:36I didn't feel safe.
16:46So this is a picture of me in the background
16:49and right here in the bottom,
16:51this would be our bird.
16:52But I think this one slipped past my mom.
16:57I think if she would have known
16:58that this was Blaine's leg right here
17:00and that that was any part of him,
17:02she just would have thrown it away.
17:04My mom destroyed anything with Blaine in it.
17:07And those would be his cowboy boots right there.
17:13Those are the boots.
17:14So that's the boots that I would get kicked with 10,
17:1812, 15 times a day.
17:22Because of my mom intervening over him
17:24hitting me with that spoon.
17:25He didn't, like, really spank me
17:26or physically, like, beat me for a while.
17:31But it was okay to kick me with the side of his boot.
17:34And if I flinched, he'd do it again.
17:36And if I tried to move, he would do it twice more.
17:38But it was humiliating to have to, like,
17:43stand there and wait to take it.
17:47Because it would happen in front of my mom or my sister.
17:50So it was just humiliating in front of everybody.
18:08My real father had moved to California.
18:16So every summer, my sister and I would go and see him
18:18for the first couple months of the summer
18:20and then come back home, get ready for school.
18:23But there was one particular year I did not go.
18:30It had been, like, probably, like, a week,
18:32week and a half since my mom had talked to my sister.
18:35And so my mom tried to call my dad.
18:39And my dad was saying,
18:40well, she's going to live with me now.
18:43And she doesn't want to talk to you.
18:44She doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore.
18:48I'm going to fight for custody.
18:49She's going to live with me.
18:51And so my mom started freaking out
18:52and wanted to speak to my sister.
18:56He wasn't having it.
18:57My dad wasn't having it.
18:59Put her on the phone.
19:02So Blaine got on the phone.
19:04And Blaine told him that, like,
19:06you have about an hour to make plane reservations
19:10or I'm going to be on your front doorstep in 12 hours.
19:13And you won't like it if I get there.
19:16The things I heard him say scared me
19:19because I knew that he was capable.
19:22It wasn't yelling over the phone.
19:26It was the most convincing, scary, soft tone,
19:31evil thing that you can imagine a person saying.
19:35But it was really the calm and scariness of it
19:39that made it real.
19:42It was terrifying.
19:43And he hung up like my sister was home,
19:46like, two or three days later.
19:48It was like a, I guess it could be considered a family night.
20:03We were just sitting and watching TV.
20:05We were watching PBS during fundraising time.
20:08It kind of started off like we were joking
20:13about how nervous the girl looked
20:15and how she kept fumbling over her lines
20:18and like, oh, my gosh, this is live TV.
20:20It's terrible.
20:20And so Blaine decided to make it more fun for him.
20:27Call it out.
20:28Call the number on your screen.
20:29You'll see.
20:30He said, you guys watch this.
20:33And he called the pledge number.
20:35And within a few minutes,
20:36he had convinced the people at PBS
20:38that he was going to donate a large amount of money
20:41and that he just wanted to thank the girl that was on TV.
20:47Thank you so much.
20:48And he went from thanking her to telling her that, like,
20:53I'm going to hunt you down and gut you like a fish.
20:57I could see the fear on that lady's eyes on live television.
21:02I was more terrified when I heard him talking to that lady that way
21:06because it was just so attainable for Blaine.
21:10Like, it sounds real.
21:12But he scared this woman
21:15and the absolute terror that was in her face
21:18was really funny for him.
21:21To make that switch and to flip over into, like, demon mode, I guess,
21:26it just, it was very easy for him.
21:29She's leaving.
21:30I tried to, like, think of any of his, like, female victims.
21:43Like, I, I, I just can't even imagine, like, the whole,
21:49the, had to have been left in their existence
21:51from, from him just being in their world for a few minutes.
21:56And, man, I, I feel so bad
22:02for every, everybody that he hurt.
22:09I, I can't apologize enough,
22:13but it doesn't, I know it doesn't really mean a whole lot.
22:15I'm not his advocate, not his lawyer.
22:18I, I don't, I don't know how it feels,
22:20but I, I, I'm,
22:22I've been hit by that train.
22:33As I got older, Blaine started taking me out on the road with him.
22:36Those times, Blaine was different.
22:43I,
22:43I didn't have to worry about getting kicked
22:50and to have to take the position or get hit or, you know,
22:53I didn't have to worry about him backhanding me
22:55or just anything when we were in the truck.
23:02For me, it was amazing.
23:03I was seeing the world from a semi-truck.
23:08I get to eat beef jerky and trash food
23:11for a couple of days and soda.
23:12And he would treat me, we'd get along.
23:14He would treat me like a, more like a friend.
23:17He treated me like, almost like an equal.
23:23So one night we had just gotten onto the freeway
23:26and we were on the freeway for maybe seven or eight minutes.
23:29A highway patrolman started waving for us to pull over.
23:32So, as we were getting pulled over,
23:38Blaine reached back into the camper part of the sleeper
23:42and he grabbed a handgun
23:44and put it underneath my seat
23:51and told me to sit on it
23:52and told me that unless the cops told me to get out of the truck
23:55to stay where I was sitting.
23:57I don't know if he'd stolen the gun
24:01or committed a crime with it
24:02but he definitely didn't want them to see it.
24:05You don't question it.
24:06You just, you do what you're told.
24:10And so he got out
24:12and he talked to them for a few minutes
24:14and then one of the police officers
24:18opened up the driver door
24:20and said, your dad's getting arrested
24:22and his boss is coming to pick up the truck
24:25and take you home.
24:28And so that was it.
24:31Like, Blaine was under arrest.
24:35Blaine's boss bailed him out immediately.
24:37We were back on the road as planned
24:39and Blaine never even said another thing to me about it.
24:43I still don't know what they pulled us over for.
24:44He never told me.
24:46My mom never spoke of it.
24:47So it got swept under the rug
24:49as far as, like, it was none of my business.
24:51But it was, they were looking for him.
25:09He would spend, like, extended times away from the truck.
25:13Like, during the times when I was sleeping,
25:16sometimes it just, I would kind of wake up
25:18and realize the truck wasn't moving, but it was running.
25:20But Blaine wouldn't be in the truck.
25:22And I knew better than to get out
25:24and go wandering around and looking for him.
25:27You know, we weren't just pulling over
25:29and taking a break.
25:31But in residential areas,
25:32we were kind of, like, pulled over
25:34and stopped for large, weird,
25:37just odd amounts of times,
25:38like when we should be driving
25:39and going and getting another load
25:41and coming and dropping it off.
25:42We're, like, in a neighborhood for no reason.
25:47So it was, like, not just the amount of time,
25:50but, like, the odd times,
25:52like the witching hours, you know,
25:54that people are out doing bad stuff.
25:57Those were the times that he was saying
25:58that he was working.
26:00But there was just, there was gaps.
26:02My mom came and picked me up from school one day,
26:18which was very, very odd
26:20because I would walk every day.
26:22And when I got into the car,
26:24she was crying and, like, sobbing,
26:26kind of crying.
26:27And had been all day.
26:29Her eyes were puffy and stuff.
26:31I could tell she was a mess.
26:33And so she's like,
26:35I came and picked you up
26:36because I need to talk to you.
26:38And so she just, like,
26:42blurted it all out.
26:43She says, like,
26:44I'm just telling you that, like,
26:46Blaine's not coming home.
26:51And I probably was one of the first people
26:53that she was able to talk to about it.
26:55So she kind of just exploded
26:56and said that Blaine had cheated on her.
27:03I remember in my head thinking, like,
27:04well, you know, what are we going to do now?
27:06And so my mom, you know,
27:07reassured me that she was going to,
27:09that I'm here.
27:10And it's just me, you, and your sister again.
27:13And it had been a long time
27:15since I'd heard her say that.
27:16And so there we were.
27:17Like, we were at that.
27:19I didn't feel,
27:21I didn't feel relief.
27:22Because I, like I said,
27:25over the few years leading up to that,
27:27I didn't feel 100% safe with my mom either.
27:34I didn't want him to come back,
27:36but he was, he was my dad.
27:38He was my father figure.
27:40That was, that was,
27:41that was what I was dealt with.
27:43It was different for my mom
27:48and for my sister.
27:50They experienced their own thing.
27:52You know, my mom lost her husband
27:54and to my sister,
27:55she lost a stepdad.
27:56But I lost my father figure
27:58and my, and my stepdad.
28:01So it was a punch.
28:03It was a big punch.
28:04I went through a really
28:18crazy stage
28:20over the immediate fallout
28:22from that.
28:24I,
28:26I had a,
28:29a small little cubby hole
28:32that was above my closet.
28:34and I'd feel safe.
28:48And so,
28:49I would like hide up in there
28:51and I would sleep up
28:52in that cubby hole.
28:56So it was just easier
28:58to like hide.
29:00And,
29:04all that time he punished me
29:16and would isolate me
29:18and make me be more myself.
29:23And in the end,
29:25that's the only place
29:28I got any peace.
29:30That's the only way
29:30I would feel okay.
29:34Is if I closed everybody off
29:37and closed everything out.
29:38I really believe that Blaine
29:59was gone for good.
30:01It had been about
30:02two years since he left
30:04and
30:05one morning I woke up
30:08and
30:09surprise,
30:12he's back.
30:15He was there
30:16with his bathrobe on.
30:18He said,
30:19like,
30:20and this is something
30:20that I haven't told you,
30:21he never called me my name.
30:22He had a nickname for me
30:34and I just don't want
30:35to say it.
30:36I just,
30:37I don't want to repeat it.
30:39He said,
30:40hi Ryan,
30:40but instead of Ryan,
30:41he called me that nickname
30:42that he always called me.
30:43So it was,
30:44it was almost like
30:45going all the way back.
30:48There he was.
30:50It was like the gut punch,
30:51like a little bit of disgust,
30:52a little bit of like
30:53the bewilderment.
30:55Why are you here?
30:57My mom just told me.
30:58Blaine hired a private
30:59investigator a long time ago
31:01and he knew where we were
31:01at the whole time.
31:04He seemed like a,
31:06like a kid
31:08with a big old lollipop
31:09in his hand.
31:10He was happy.
31:11You could tell that like
31:11he was back with my mom,
31:14like that little smirky smirk.
31:17He was there to stay.
31:18It didn't seem like
31:19he was leaving that day
31:20or anytime soon.
31:22I don't get scared
31:27when I watch
31:29horror movies
31:31because
31:33those people
31:34are,
31:36they just,
31:36they're not as scary
31:37as
31:37like
31:39my stepdad.
31:40they're not as scary as it was.
31:50When Blaine came back
31:52into our lives,
31:52I was a little bit leery
31:53of his intentions.
31:56But he was trying
31:57to just be a father
31:58and a husband.
32:00But I think
32:01that's what makes him
32:02the most dangerous
32:03because he had all
32:07of the masks
32:07that were necessary
32:08to fool everybody.
32:13Blaine said that he was
32:14working two different
32:15part-time jobs.
32:17And so he would go away
32:18for long stretches
32:20of time.
32:21And then one morning
32:24he left
32:25and he just
32:26didn't come back.
32:31A couple days
32:32went by
32:32and
32:33then there was
32:34just a small
32:35clipping that my mom
32:36had cut out of the paper.
32:37And she's like,
32:38here,
32:38I need to show you this.
32:39And she just
32:39showed it to me.
32:40She didn't say a word.
32:41It just said,
32:42local man
32:43has been arrested
32:45for rape.
32:46When I read it,
32:50I was almost like,
32:51okay,
32:52like,
32:53that's horrible.
32:54Like,
32:54local man arrested
32:55for rape.
32:56I'm like,
32:56what does this mean?
32:57She's like,
32:57it's Blaine.
33:03And
33:03it's like,
33:05I feel like,
33:05like,
33:08the color,
33:08like,
33:09leave my own face.
33:13And the story was like,
33:14Mr. Nelson
33:15is accused
33:17of 17 rapes
33:18but is admitting
33:19to over 100
33:20nationwide.
33:22And you hear
33:23something like that
33:24and you're like,
33:25it just doesn't,
33:27it doesn't register.
33:29It doesn't register,
33:30like,
33:31like,
33:31because I know
33:32what damage
33:35he did
33:35to our family.
33:38Now there's a,
33:39there's like
33:43100 other families
33:44out there.
33:45100 other women
33:48that have to try
33:50and explain that
33:50to their children
33:51or to their husbands
33:52or,
33:53you know,
33:53if they don't have
33:54any of that,
33:54like,
33:55they,
33:56there are 100
33:57other women
33:57out there
33:58that,
33:58so I'm looking at
34:16a police report
34:17from Ogden police.
34:19in 1983,
34:21he went into an apartment
34:26with the intention
34:27of stealing money
34:28or purses.
34:31A girl was asleep
34:32with no clothes on.
34:34He took advantage
34:36of her
34:36in the moment
34:37and raped her.
34:39And that is what
34:40started him.
34:40number two
34:44was the
34:45Apple Grove
34:45apartments.
34:46He said
34:46the girl
34:47had two
34:47children
34:48and believed
34:49this rape
34:50occurred
34:50in 1984.
34:55One of the worst
34:56things that's on here
34:57is that
34:58the dollar amounts
34:59are there
35:00from the women
35:00that he stole.
35:01When he got into
35:02a purse
35:02and stole
35:02$2,
35:03he got into
35:06a purse
35:06and stole
35:07$17.
35:11number six
35:12Nelson explained
35:14how he entered
35:15the house
35:15and had
35:16intercourse
35:17with the victim.
35:24number seven
35:25Nelson said
35:27that the keys
35:27were left
35:28in the door
35:29and had
35:31intercourse
35:32with the victim.
35:37looks like
35:42there's at least
35:4225
35:43in this report.
35:44That's all the ones
35:45that I see
35:45in this report.
35:48Nelson explained
35:49that there were
35:49more
35:50but at this time
35:51he doesn't
35:52remember
35:52where they are.
36:02Nelson said
36:03that he would
36:04pick the houses
36:05by the looks
36:06of their yards
36:07the cars
36:09around it
36:09and he would
36:10simply go
36:11from house
36:11to house
36:12and checking
36:12doors.
36:13He said
36:13that you would
36:15be surprised
36:15the amount
36:16of doors
36:16that people
36:17would leave
36:17open.
36:20It also
36:21became a game
36:22to see if
36:23the police
36:24could catch him.
36:27Why did you
36:27last there?
36:29Because
36:29I was a witness
36:31to game
36:31to blame
36:32playing games
36:33with the cops
36:33by driving
36:34100 miles
36:34an hour
36:34past me
36:35and running
36:35from the cops
36:36and you can see
36:37no matter what it was
36:38whether he's out
36:39playing a board game
36:41or whether he's
36:42violating a woman's
36:44life
36:44it was still a game
36:47to him
36:48and that's just
36:49not fair to any
36:49of these women.
36:50I hate seeing
36:52it like this
36:53because you know
36:56that behind
36:56every one of these
36:57black marks
36:57is somebody's name.
36:58I
37:01it just
37:03it's
37:03it's another
37:04it's just
37:05it's another
37:05gut punch
37:06and I
37:07I feel horrible
37:10I can't
37:11I can't even
37:11put into words
37:12how I feel
37:12I don't know
37:32it's been
37:32a minute
37:35since I
37:36like
37:37even talked
37:38to my mom
37:38my sister
37:39like we don't
37:39have a relationship
37:40like at all
37:41I just don't
37:43want to face it
37:44or talk about it
37:45I wish my mom
37:47would have said
37:48anything
37:48that's something
37:49that came from
37:50in here
37:51that
37:52that wasn't
37:53something that
37:54she felt like
37:55she had to say
37:56because that's
37:56what parents say
37:57like I'm sorry
37:59you're messed up
38:00in this
38:01I'm sorry
38:01that this is
38:03your life now
38:04but we're gonna
38:05get through it
38:05kind of thing
38:06it just
38:07it didn't happen
38:08I just want
38:11to say to my mom
38:11and my sister
38:12that if they do
38:13end up seeing this
38:14that um
38:15I know you both
38:18have a story too
38:19and
38:21I would like to hear it
38:23before it's too late
38:24after Blaine left
38:37it took a while
38:38but I started
38:39to find a little
38:40bit of relief
38:40the monster
38:42was gone
38:43I don't know
38:46if it's gonna
38:47do any good
38:47to tell my story
38:48after so long
38:49um
38:50but
38:51there's a lot
38:53of people
38:53out there
38:53that
38:54probably never
38:56caught
38:56their boogeymen
38:57and
39:03and
39:03so I don't know
39:05it may do
39:06nothing
39:07to come and
39:08talk to you guys
39:09in the end
39:10but hopefully
39:10it will
39:11like
39:11um
39:12for some of
39:14his
39:14I don't know
39:14for me
39:15for some of
39:15his other victims
39:16for my mom
39:18and for my sister
39:19that still
39:20don't want
39:22to acknowledge
39:22any of this
39:23it's like
39:27still walking
39:28on thin ice
39:29there's spots
39:30and there's times
39:31if you
39:31sometimes if you
39:32stop
39:32you might hear
39:33a couple cracks
39:34underneath you
39:34but you gotta
39:35keep moving
39:35or you're gonna
39:36fall
39:36and there are
39:37some days
39:38where
39:38it swallows
39:39me whole
39:40um
39:44but those
39:45are the days
39:46that I
39:46um
39:48will try
39:49to find
39:49some
39:50solace
39:51with my
39:51children
39:52or
39:52with my
39:53grandbaby
39:54I have
39:56such a
39:57beautiful wife
39:58and family
39:58that
39:59they don't
40:00deserve
40:00for me
40:01to
40:02wallow
40:03in it
40:04um
40:04they deserve
40:06for me
40:06to be present
40:07you know
40:09maybe there's
40:10maybe there's
40:12a kid
40:12out there
40:13that's locked
40:15in a
40:15crawl space
40:16or something
40:17that the next
40:18time they get
40:18out
40:19they'll call
40:19somebody
40:20or they'll
40:20say something
40:21and it won't
40:23happen anymore
40:23that you're
40:34committed a
40:34violent
40:35act
40:35yeah
40:35but my
40:36life
40:37I cut
40:37over the
40:38book and
40:38I
40:38I just
40:39felt
40:39helpless
40:40again
40:41like
40:42he grabbed
40:47a hold of
40:47me and
40:48threw me
40:49down on
40:49the bed
40:50and was
40:50choking me
40:51I'm thinking
40:52to myself
40:53I'm pregnant
40:54and he's
40:55trying to
40:56kill me
40:56I've seen
40:58this look
40:58right before
40:59he explodes
41:00people call
41:01him a monster
41:02and keep
41:02calling him
41:03evil
41:04it's probably
41:05because it's
41:05true
41:05my mother
41:07was strangled
41:08so severely
41:10her lunatics
41:11was snapped
41:11in half
41:12as far as
41:13I'm concerned
41:14I don't have
41:14a brother
41:15I hope
41:15God does
41:16not have
41:16mercy
41:17on his
41:17soul
41:17he got
41:19that gun
41:20and he
41:20started beating
41:21me with it
41:22he was like
41:23a monster
41:24when they
41:25just hatch
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