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00:00Bonaparte's restaurant is in dire straits.
00:03New owner, Sue Ray, has sunk everything into it.
00:07It's frustrating the hell after a bit of a moment,
00:09cos we're going nowhere.
00:10The customers are nowhere to be seen.
00:12How many's booked?
00:13No, I'm gone.
00:14Nothing at all?
00:15No.
00:16Chances of walk-in, perhaps?
00:17Slim.
00:18The kitchen's down to two staff,
00:20and the money has nearly run out.
00:23I'm going in to identify the problems.
00:26I'll find out if the mark is there...
00:28How much did you pay for that?
00:29I'm not going to pay a lot, wouldn't you?
00:32If the team are pulling together...
00:34You take a fucking penalty!
00:35...and if the head chef is trued up enough...
00:38You're taking the piss, you know that.
00:41I've got just one week to turn this restaurant into a viable business.
00:45The honeymoon's over.
00:46I've got to start making profit now.
00:48Next to its posh neighbours, Ilkley and Skipton, sits Silsden.
01:00A little working-class town, yet to make its mark on the culinary map of Britain.
01:05Lots of fish bars, cafes. Quite a quaint little place. A little small Yorkshire town.
01:11Bonaparte's wine bar and basement restaurant on the high stream was taken over by its current owner just over a year ago.
01:19In her time, Sue Ray has sold everything from donkey rides to cavity wall insulation.
01:26But the restaurant business is totally new to her, and so far, the locals aren't biting.
01:32Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Sue?
01:35It is, yes. Hi. Pleased to meet you.
01:37Likewise. So, how's it going?
01:39A bit quieter today.
01:40How many are you having for lunch? About two.
01:42Two, ready? That's it.
01:44And last night?
01:46Last night, I think we did. It's only two again. That's all.
01:49Two customers the whole night? Two customers the whole night, yeah. Unfortunately.
01:53It's just died of death. Absolute death.
01:57The stark truth is that two-thirds of restaurants don't survive past their first birthday.
02:01And as things stand, Sue's in danger of adding to those statistics.
02:06As a last resort, she's placed all her trust in a 21-year-old head chef.
02:11Together, they believe that fine dining will guarantee Bonaparte's a brighter future.
02:16It's like being an artist, you know what I mean?
02:18You just start from nothing and create something, so I think that's why I love being a chef.
02:23From a humble start five years ago washing dishes, Tim has had a meteoric rise.
02:28Obviously, I would like a couple of restaurants, maybe three. Being Leeds and London, New York, you know, wherever, just big cities.
02:37You know, so that's my main ambition and obviously to make a lot of money.
02:41Tim's ultimate dream is to become a TV chef.
02:44You put parmesan through this, sir.
02:46But for now, he's embracing his first opportunity to run his own kitchen.
02:51And how did you find Tim?
02:52Oh, he found me. He knew I'd been struggling with chefs and lack of them.
02:56And he's very ambitious.
02:57He must be fucking good if he's a head chef at 21, no?
03:00Either that or he's a fucking good bullshitter.
03:02Tim.
03:03Pleasure to meet you, sir.
03:05Likewise.
03:06And?
03:07Pleasure's pleasure, Lee.
03:08Lee.
03:09So you're the head chef?
03:10Yeah.
03:11And you're the...
03:12Well, you're obviously going to be the second chef. There's only two of you.
03:13Busy lunch?
03:14No.
03:15No?
03:16Absolutely not.
03:17I didn't think so when you were standing there twiddling your thumbs.
03:20No?
03:21Sue's food takings are a dismal £200 a week.
03:24She should be clearing at least ten times that, but she's not even covering Tim's wages, let alone food costs and overheads.
03:32Chefs can't get excited unless there's customers to cook for.
03:34I'll never know how good they are unless there's any customers in the fucking restaurant.
03:39Uh, Tim, how many's booked?
03:40Non-garden.
03:41Nothing at all?
03:42No.
03:43No?
03:44Chances of walk-ins, perhaps?
03:45Slim.
03:46Don't want to see you under a little bit of pressure tonight.
03:48Right.
03:49It's five to six.
03:50I want you to get out on the street, go knock on a few doors and invite some locals to dinner.
03:57Get your coats on and fuck off for some customers.
04:01If the customers won't come in off their own free will, these two young chefs are going to have to go and drag them in.
04:06Excuse me.
04:08We'd like to invite you for a free meal.
04:10Fine dining requires the ultimate in presentation, surroundings and service.
04:14I've just had one, thank you.
04:16You've just had one?
04:17But most of all, it requires faultless food.
04:21We just need the people coming in now.
04:23It's all right.
04:24It's like a big cake.
04:25You've got all the ingredients and you can mix it.
04:28You've just got to find the right consistency to make it rise.
04:31You'll go?
04:32Okay.
04:33I'll see you there.
04:34Cheers.
04:35The reputation of this place can't be that great.
04:37Even with free food from the fine dining menu on offer, they've only managed to pull in 11 guests.
04:43For any head chef, this would be a walk in the park.
04:46First order.
04:47Two pigeon, main course, one venison, one bro.
04:49Okay.
04:50Number of them all.
04:51Where do the tickets go?
04:52Well, I just put them there because we never really get enough to worry about it.
04:55Oh.
04:56Fuck me.
04:57That's nice.
04:58Who's doing what?
04:59Who's doing the fish?
05:00I'll do the fish.
05:01What would you like to do tonight?
05:02I'll do venison.
05:03What I'm trying to say is how the fuck do you organise your kitchen?
05:05Lee, take care of the hot starters.
05:06I'll do the cold starters.
05:07You do the fish.
05:08I'll do the meat.
05:09We jump onto the puddings together.
05:10If he's busy, then Lee will stand here and I'll do this one.
05:12Right.
05:13When I'm not doing anything, then I'll just jump on and help him out.
05:15Do you know how to organise?
05:16Within reason.
05:17Within reason.
05:18Okay.
05:19Here we go.
05:20Where did you put red barley?
05:21With the first orders in, now I can really see what's going on in the kitchen.
05:30What was that?
05:31I just trashed a load of balls.
05:33You're doing both in the bread first, don't you?
05:36Yeah.
05:37Never mind fine dining.
05:39They can't even get the bread right.
05:41It's fucking frozen.
05:42Get it back in the oven.
05:44Are the pigeons ready?
05:47Yes.
05:48We're about to put them in the bin because the bread's frozen, pigeons are cooked and the
05:51fucking bread's not even out there.
05:55And if you toss that fucking cabbage once more, I'm going to ram it over your arse, okay?
05:58Can we?
05:59Yeah.
06:00Everything you turn around in.
06:01Yeah, let's go.
06:02Come on.
06:03Even when the kitchen's busy, you should be looking to get the starters out within ten minutes
06:07of receiving the order.
06:08Thank you very much.
06:09These poor souls have waited half an hour for the pigeon breast with mushroom ravioli.
06:13And that's not the only problem.
06:16Tim, you made a ravioliad?
06:17Yes.
06:18It's burnt.
06:19You don't taste that, man.
06:20No.
06:21Smell it, then.
06:22You honestly can't taste that burnt?
06:26No, you're pointing it out.
06:28Yeah.
06:29Yeah, shit them a bit.
06:30This is really worrying.
06:31A head chef who can't even taste his own foods burnt.
06:35He's not going to win any prizes for his control of the kitchen, either.
06:38And there's only two of them in here.
06:40Oh, it's more late in chair.
06:42I need a leg for...
06:43Okay, can you hear that?
06:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:45Can you hear that?
06:46Hold on, hold on.
06:47They're buzzing in the background.
06:48That's the veg in the microwave that should have gone with the main course four minutes ago.
06:51Come on, Tim, get the fucking things out.
06:58For some, an hour's wait is just too much.
07:02Desperate to keep her staff costs down, Sue has got her hands full running the bar upstairs
07:07and seems blissfully unaware of the farce that's taking place in the basement.
07:12The kitchen's a disaster.
07:14A disaster beyond belief.
07:16The blind leading the blind and the left arm not knowing what the right arm's doing.
07:20You want 50, 60 seats filled down there and they've got 11 customers in for dinner
07:27and up to their eyeballs in shitter.
07:29I mean, real shit.
07:31Everything's going in these cutters.
07:34For some bizarre reason, they think that rings is the sort of ultimate fine dining experience,
07:39but I don't understand what the hell's going on there.
07:43I don't know.
07:44All I know is I'm not making money.
07:46So I don't know what they're at or where they're coming from.
07:49But it's Sue's business and she should be in charge.
07:55Look at the fucking mess.
07:57Huh?
07:58I've never seen such hard work for 11 guests.
08:01No.
08:02It doesn't make you feel good, does it?
08:04No, not really.
08:05I've got just one week to make a constructive impact on Bonaparte's.
08:12But by day two, I'm clutching at straws to find any positives to build on.
08:18Sue lacks focus and has clearly lost control.
08:20The kitchen's such a tip, it's a health hazard.
08:23And worst of all, the head chef and his mate just aren't up to scratch.
08:28I must be missing something.
08:30Um, gentlemen.
08:33Tim, sing the dish.
08:35Scallops.
08:36Scallops.
08:37Can't wait to sit.
08:38Nearly every successful restaurant has a dish that it's renowned for.
08:41I'm hoping that by cooking his, Tim will produce something truly memorable.
08:45Something truly worthy of a place on a fine dining menu.
08:49The actual signature dish, which is, um, scallops with, uh, deep-frag powder and black pudding sauce hollandaise.
08:58Mm-hmm.
08:59It certainly looks okay.
09:04What do you think?
09:06Oh.
09:10It's quite a bit sick.
09:13He's only gone and given me a rancid scallop.
09:16Someone get him a drink.
09:21Oh, shit.
09:23How can you eat that?
09:25If you knew they were off, why didn't you say?
09:27No, I didn't.
09:28I didn't know they were off.
09:31They're fucking minging.
09:33Do you not taste that?
09:35I do now, yeah.
09:36It took a while to go out.
09:41I know what it means.
09:42I feel sick of my cell now.
09:43It's, um...
09:46It's grim.
09:48It's fucking grim.
09:49And it's out of order.
09:51Well, I didn't realise they were fucking off.
09:54So...
09:55I suppose it's my fault, really.
09:59That could kill something.
10:02That's the bottom line.
10:03That's the bottom line.
10:11In the two days I've spent at Bonaparte, I've witnessed total incompetence in the kitchen.
10:16Total lack of direction from the management.
10:18And last but not least, they've tried their best to kill me with a rotten scallop.
10:22What the fuck are you playing at?
10:25Sorry, Chef.
10:27Well, it's not about being fucking sorry.
10:29You shouldn't be in a fucking kitchen if you don't know what's right and what's wrong in that sense.
10:33I mean, this is basic fucking cooking, you know that.
10:36I need to check if there's any more surprises lurking in Tim's kitchen.
10:41Let's look in here.
10:43Where are they from?
10:45Uh, Saturday.
10:47Saturday.
10:48Would you use them today?
10:49No.
10:50No, so what the fuck are they doing in the fridge?
10:52Well, it looks like rabbit shit, that one.
10:55That's just some lentils.
10:57Oh, this one's stuck to the fucking glass.
11:00Yeah, it looks like sheep's turd that's been infested with ants.
11:04We've got fucking fur on fucking potatoes.
11:07When's that from?
11:08I can't tell you.
11:10What are we doing with them?
11:11Throw them in a bin.
11:12Throw them in a bin.
11:13But you keep them in the fridge for two days before you throw them in a bin.
11:16No, but do you see what I'm trying to get at?
11:17Yeah.
11:18Does it make fucking sense?
11:19Yes or no?
11:20No.
11:21So all this fucking fridge is jam-packed with shit and we're standing here saying,
11:24You want to put them in a bin?
11:25You want to put them in a bin?
11:26Well, get them in the fucking bin!
11:28This whole kitchen is disgustingly filthy.
11:32In allowing things to fester, Tim's putting Sue's business at risk.
11:36Fucking hell.
11:37Can we get that one cleaned out as well, yeah?
11:39Yes.
11:40Just one bad thing can contaminate the whole fridge.
11:43Tim may as well just chuck money out the window.
11:46A health inspector would have a field day.
11:49Do you know what?
11:50I'm fucking gobsmacked.
11:51You know that?
11:52I've got a good fucking mind to get hold of fucking Sue and just tell her to fucking close the place for me.
11:56You know that?
11:57Because this is the fucking pits.
11:59You should be ashamed.
12:02Rock bottom.
12:03I've never seen anything like this in my entire fucking life.
12:05You know that?
12:06Because this is a fucking embarrassment.
12:10To catering.
12:12Let alone fucking ringed out fine dining.
12:16Let's move, huh?
12:18Not a best start it could have been, were it?
12:20To be honest.
12:22Fucking...
12:23Like, it's alright.
12:25You know, I'll sort it out.
12:28The picture's becoming painfully clear.
12:30Tim's completely unqualified to do this job.
12:32He's blagged his way in and Sue's been naive enough to take him on.
12:37When you do put so much, like, hard work into creating stuff and then you don't use it, you know, then you get bored.
12:46That's what's done.
12:47Like, footballers playing with no football, innit?
12:49They just run around, what's point?
12:50They'll sit on their arses after a while, won't they?
12:52That's how it is.
12:55All this ingredient's in there and no customers to send it to.
12:59And yet none of them have been communicating with each other, you know, that's gotta go tomorrow, can we turn that into a fish pie, can we do something with it?
13:05But no.
13:06The blind leading the blind.
13:08And every bloody ingredient in that fridge is money, your money.
13:13Sue has no idea what's going on in her own kitchen.
13:16Key to any successful restaurant is regular communication between management and the head chef.
13:23I really need to get these two talking.
13:27My lord just had a word with me and said he's not very impressed.
13:31We need to keep the place clean and everything tidy, otherwise I can be sued.
13:36In which case I'm out of business and you're out of a job.
13:40I realise that.
13:41Yeah, I know, and I have to take it on board as well.
13:46Well, you know, you just have to stick her R in.
13:48She wasn't gonna say, I told you so, but that's what she was doing.
13:51Yeah?
13:52Fair enough, she had the little dick, so what the fucker, you know what I mean?
13:57Relations between Tim and Sue clearly aren't healthy.
14:02Lee?
14:03Yeah?
14:04Goggles?
14:05Gloves?
14:06Before we do any fucking cooking in here now, I want the place absolutely spotless.
14:11Goggles on, please.
14:12That's it, show me.
14:13You handsome bastard.
14:15It's not just the kitchen that's at fault here.
14:17Any clued-up restaurateur knows it's damn stupid to attempt fine dining in a basement,
14:23let alone one that's beneath a busy bar.
14:25Sue's panic is obvious when you see the weird mix of fine dining menus and scrappy handwritten
14:35boards advertising TV-named cabarets.
14:39Bonaparte's image has clearly confused potential customers.
14:42She was trying really to think to do too many things, to be all things to all people.
14:47So she was trying to have, you know, live music and have an internet cafe.
14:53And also the impression that you got when you came in was she'd be shuffling around in her leggings and her slippers.
14:59I don't think she's going to attract the people that she wants to attract.
15:04It's not as nice as the one that's owned across the road.
15:09The newly opened competition just 200 yards away has been fully booked since it opened.
15:13So the pundits are definitely out there.
15:16It's time to find a clear identity for Bonaparte and make a clean start.
15:22Valentine's night is just four days away.
15:25It's one of the most important nights of the Russian calendar and it can make or break a new venture.
15:30If we're going to reinvent Bonaparte's image, we've got to do it now.
15:34But will Sue accept the drastic change of direction I'm about to propose?
15:38It's clearly not going to work as a fine dining experience.
15:45Does Tim know how much pressure you're under financially?
15:48I say flippantly. You know, I'll end up going bankrupt if you're not careful, but he doesn't realise how true that is.
15:52Yeah. I mean, how close are you in real terms?
15:56In real terms, probably. I've got probably three months maximum.
16:04Jesus.
16:05You know, I'm willing to take constructive criticism. It's not working, is it? Otherwise we'd have more people in.
16:11The basics are wrong. I mean, the basics are so, so wrong and it's embarrassing.
16:16It's got to go back to comfort, rustic, easy-going food.
16:20It's got to become more of a bistro because the place oozes that kind of style.
16:25I know Sue's convinced, but if I'm to flush out Tim's pretensions to fine dining once and for all,
16:30I need to provide him with evidence that he can't fail to take on board.
16:35Gentlemen. Tim.
16:37Right, this is a sea of scallops with a baby black pudding with a nice hollandaise cayenne pepper sauce and a bit of deep-fried parmesan.
16:44It looks like potato, but I'm not sure.
16:47First time you had a scallop?
16:48Mmm.
16:49And this is a beef and ale pie.
16:51I'll have a bit of beef.
16:52I'm a pastry man.
16:53A pastry man?
16:55Mmm.
16:56Yeah?
16:57Beautiful.
16:58The scallops and the black pudding and the parma ham.
17:01How much did you pay for that?
17:03I wanted to pay a lot, would you?
17:04Oh, man.
17:05Well, I don't know.
17:06Scallops are dear anyway, aren't they?
17:07So, 8.50.
17:088.50?
17:10For the one pound?
17:11And what would you pay for the pie?
17:13About £8.
17:14About £8.
17:15£7.95.
17:16Oh, what?
17:17Far off.
17:18An 8.95.
17:19Well done.
17:20Mmm.
17:21Which one would you prefer?
17:22Well, I like the pie, personally.
17:23So?
17:24I like the meat.
17:25I'm definitely a meat lover.
17:27Gentlemen.
17:29One nil, you fucker.
17:30All a lot.
17:31Tim needs to learn a few basic restaurant rules.
17:34If you don't know your market, you'll never get bums on seats.
17:38I would probably go with this one.
17:40Two fucking nil.
17:41Next, please.
17:42Have you got two seconds?
17:43Here's another one.
17:44Have you got two seconds?
17:45Restaurants without customers will go bust.
17:47I don't like scallops.
17:48You don't like scallops?
17:49Three nil, you twit.
17:51Excuse me.
17:52Put another way, Tim needs to start producing food
17:55that people of Silsham won't be able to resist.
17:58That is gorgeous, sir.
17:59I would pay that for that.
18:00We're alone on that.
18:01You wouldn't pay $8.95 for that?
18:02In the major cities, yeah, I'd expect to.
18:05But that is very, very reasonable and delicious.
18:09Are you listening?
18:10I am listening.
18:11Bistro?
18:12That's where we're going.
18:13Yeah, fine dining.
18:20Who's going in for it?
18:24It's not bad news, you know that?
18:25It's fucking good news.
18:26It's good news.
18:27Yeah, and it's clear, huh?
18:29Mm-hmm.
18:30The writing's on the wall.
18:31Yep.
18:32She's come to the end of the tither up there.
18:33That's pretty obvious that, you know, she's had enough, huh?
18:35Yeah, yeah.
18:36Is that clear?
18:37Yeah, it is clear, yeah.
18:38Yeah?
18:39And, you know, you're fucking cocky with her, you know that?
18:40Yeah.
18:41Yeah?
18:42And she pays your fucking salary.
18:43Are you mad?
18:44How much have you put in here?
18:45Nothing.
18:46Yeah, not a fucking penny.
18:47Not a single penny.
18:48But you've taken from it, haven't you?
18:50Yep.
18:51So now it's time to give back.
18:52Absolutely.
18:53Definitely.
18:54And not cooking for egos.
18:55Get rid of it.
18:56Back to basics, you know that?
18:58That's what I want you two to do, just to confirm that you do know the basics, both at the same time, cook me a fucking omelette.
19:06Show me something that I can eat and be happy with.
19:11An omelette is probably one of the first things you learn to cook at catering college.
19:19When was the last time you cooked a omelette?
19:21I hadn't cooked one before.
19:23I've never cooked an omelette before.
19:25Oh, don't be stupid.
19:26I haven't.
19:36Look inside.
19:37What does that tell you?
19:38Um, slightly overcooked.
19:39Slightly?
19:40Tastes like fucking rubber.
19:41I'm both overcooked.
19:42That was shit.
19:43By any standard.
19:44You're a head chef.
19:45You're taking the piss, you know that?
19:46You are taking the piss, you know that?
19:51You are taking the piss, you know that?
20:05Yes, God.
20:06Gives you nothing back.
20:07And the whole idea of telling him off is to sort of help train him and educate him, but clearly not used to being told what to do.
20:20Right, make me another omelette. Fuck it. Let's go.
20:25Any chef worth his soul should be able to source good quality ingredients at a good price.
20:32The locals already think Bonaparte's is too expensive. They want value for money.
20:39For Sue to start making any sort of profit, Tim needs to be clever about what he buys.
20:45I have two baking sandwiches, please. And two cups of tea.
20:49He needs to wake up to the real world. He's clearly in need of some inspiration for his new bistro style menu.
20:56Thanks, Tony. Thank you.
20:57That's your one, that one.
20:58Don't spill it on those new trainers, will you?
21:00No. Try not to.
21:01The Chinese tongues.
21:02Tonight, we've got a table of four in. I want you to buy starter, main course and pudding. 20 quid. Five quid per head.
21:12Right.
21:13I want to see how clever you are with that money.
21:14Right.
21:15Morning.
21:16Morning.
21:17Morning.
21:18Good morning.
21:19Good morning, love.
21:20I'm making French onion soup.
21:21Right, we're making some French onion soup today, so we're looking for some, like, sort of rustic, like, baguettes.
21:27Oh, we're doing this baguette here in this window, that's it.
21:28Can I have a look at that?
21:29Clearly, Tim's never bought anything from a market before in his life.
21:34Discount for the trade?
21:35Any discount for the trade?
21:36Any discount for the trade?
21:37Any discount for the trade?
21:38What, a pound?
21:39I don't know, I'll do it with that.
21:40It's always worth barking before you know that.
21:41Yeah.
21:42So when you're on the telephone in the morning, you're checking with your suppliers and you want
21:43to know how much the fish is, you can always bargain with them.
21:44I bet you don't treat serious money this way, do you?
21:45No.
21:46No.
21:47No.
21:48No.
21:49No.
21:50No.
21:51No.
21:52No.
21:53I'm fucking right, you will.
21:54Tim's menus are packed with expensive fish and meat cuts.
21:55He needs to open his eyes to the tasty, less expensive options on offer.
22:08Yeah?
22:09What's that next to the pig's head?
22:11What is that there?
22:12Erm...
22:13That's oxtail.
22:14Oxtail.
22:15You ever used oxtail before?
22:16No.
22:17What would you do with a brazen steak?
22:19I don't know, really.
22:20Maybe barbecue.
22:21It'd be quite nice on barbecue, you know, when Richard gets them going nice.
22:25Brazen steak means fucking brazen.
22:27So it's telling you what to do with it, so what would you do with it?
22:30Brazen.
22:31Like a stew.
22:32Can't put that on the fucking barbecue.
22:34Just looking for some chicken breast.
22:35Some nice chicken breast, boss.
22:36Yep.
22:37There you go, look, he's showing you.
22:38Nice.
22:39Check it.
22:40Have a look.
22:41How much is that?
22:43How much is chicken per breast?
22:45£1.12.
22:46How much is that?
22:47It's a lot less than I get it from my butcher.
22:49Is it?
22:50Your butcher's more expensive?
22:51Yeah.
22:52Jesus.
22:53Four of them, please.
22:54Any discount for trade.
22:56Discount for trade?
22:57How much was it?
22:58£4.12.
22:59£4.12.
23:00That's my boy.
23:01Lovely.
23:02That was in for me.
23:03Cheers.
23:04Can I have a bill, please?
23:05A receipt?
23:06With the AT.
23:07With the AT.
23:08You'd come again, yeah?
23:10Absolutely.
23:11The more they see you, the more banter you have with them, the more bargains you get with
23:16them, and the cheaper it becomes, yeah?
23:17Yeah.
23:18Yeah.
23:19Oh, definitely.
23:20Then the restaurant starts to make a bit of fucking money.
23:23Yeah.
23:24Get the picture?
23:25Yeah, I get it.
23:26Thank fuck for that.
23:28How much did we spend?
23:30Just over £12.
23:31£12.
23:32Fantastic.
23:33For four portions?
23:34Brilliant.
23:35It costs 75 pence to make a portion.
23:37Okay.
23:38How much does it go on the menu for?
23:39You times it by four.
23:41And that should cover everything.
23:42£2.95 for a bowl of soup.
23:44And we've made money on that.
23:45And one thing we're not going to do with the ingredients we bought this morning is waste
23:48anything.
23:49We waste nothing.
23:50With the Valentines at Stravaganza just two days away, I'm under no illusions as to what
23:56we're up against.
23:57Fucking lit dick in the kitchen, you know?
23:59Go get some fucking energy.
24:00Fucking 21, for God's sake, you should be getting fucking 12 hard-ons a day.
24:04Not one a fucking month.
24:06Let's go.
24:07Lee's got a bit of nous.
24:08Right, whisk, whisk, whisk.
24:09But I've got to hold Tim's hand every step of the way.
24:11Are you sure you want to be a chef?
24:13Yes.
24:14You are, yeah?
24:15In.
24:16Right into the centre.
24:17This is our one chance to see if Tim can cope with his new bistro-style food.
24:20I'm going to turn the knife out, put it back in, and bring it to the edge there.
24:25Yeah.
24:26Yeah?
24:27Yep.
24:28Gently, gently, gently, gently.
24:29Make love to it, then.
24:31Fuck it.
24:32Outside leaves.
24:33Yeah?
24:34What do we do with them?
24:35You throw them away?
24:36Yeah, we usually throw them away, yeah.
24:37Okay.
24:38But before we let him loose on the paying customers, I've asked him to cook for four special people
24:43in the privacy of their own home.
24:45What I haven't told him, it's for his own family.
24:48You'd like to stir it into it hard?
24:50No, you leave it dangling on top, so it gets perfect.
24:53Of course you let it fucking stir inside.
24:56We've got soup, chicken, lemon meringue pie.
24:59Yeah.
25:00Let's go and surprise Mum and Dad, shall we?
25:02Let's go round to their house, and you cook their tea.
25:05Yeah.
25:06Can we get a jus and a sauce for the chinkier?
25:08Erm, I don't, I don't really know.
25:12I'm asking you.
25:13Yeah, I don't, I don't think so.
25:14Good, because...
25:15The centre is, is the sauce.
25:17The garlic sauce in the centre.
25:18Oh, fuck it now.
25:20Hallelujah.
25:21We don't need a jus.
25:23We don't need any jus.
25:24Whoo!
25:25Hello, Madge.
25:26Hello.
25:27How are you?
25:28Surprise.
25:29I hate to use Tim's folks as guinea pigs, but with the three-course meal already prepared,
25:35all Tim needs to do is reheat the soup and cook the Kievs.
25:39Shall we get cracking again?
25:41Where's Grandad?
25:42Grandad's in the front room.
25:43This should be a walkover, even for him.
25:47I'm gonna leave it all to you.
25:49Yeah, you're busy.
25:51You're breaking me, Sean.
25:53He was always in the kitchen as a boy, wanting to help bake.
25:56Really?
25:57Because he loves talking about it, doesn't he?
25:58Yes.
25:59Yeah.
26:00But then he decided whilst he was at school that that's what he wanted to do.
26:04And he got himself a job in a kitchen.
26:06And it just went on from there.
26:08Told me that he was going to be a chef and he was going to the good food show to meet Gary
26:13Rhodes.
26:14And off he went.
26:15Fantastic.
26:16And look what's happened.
26:17Yeah.
26:18Burn it.
26:19Don't burn it.
26:20Don't burn it.
26:21Here we go.
26:22Sorry, keep you waiting.
26:23That's quite all right.
26:24He's ready.
26:25I'll get Grandad then.
26:26Let's not forget, Tim is a head chef.
26:31Fucking hell.
26:32Oops.
26:33You've burned my pans, have you?
26:34I might have done it.
26:35I think I might have just burned them, yeah.
26:36The last thing I said, don't forget your croutons.
26:38He's managed to fuck them with his grand's house.
26:41Ladies first.
26:42This is some French onion soup.
27:09Ah, look at that. Superb.
27:12Torched on the outside and pink in the middle.
27:15As for the lemon meringue pie,
27:17you would get a better reception if you threw it at them.
27:22Tim's family wouldn't dream of criticising him,
27:24but the paying customers on Valentine's night won't be as forgiving.
27:30We've got 44 books on Saturday night.
27:34Mm-hm.
27:35And you fucked it for four.
27:37What chance have we got for 44?
27:41I'm now starting to shit myself.
27:54It's my fourth day at Bonaparte's.
27:56Tim's first attempt at cooking a simplified bistro meal
27:59may have impressed his granny, but he and I both know the awful truth.
28:04It was a spectacular flop.
28:08You're paid as a head chef, aren't you?
28:10Yeah.
28:11Do you think you should be a head chef?
28:14Not really.
28:15Thank fuck for that.
28:17Don't start crying.
28:18I'm not.
28:19Well, you look, you're about to fucking bubble.
28:21OK, so you're delighted with that, are you?
28:22OK, so you're delighted with that, are you?
28:26Bookings for tomorrow night at Valentine's Cabaret are piling in.
28:30With the restaurant nearly booked to capacity, I'm trying my hardest to stay positive.
28:34That's fine, Mr Low. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
28:36But with just a day to go, it'll take more than high-energy drinks for these two to pull it off.
28:42When someone's been told off, the first thing you do in the kitchen is come back at 100 mile an hour.
28:46This guy disintegrates every time you tell him something.
28:49He just disappears into oblivion and loses all sense of concentration.
28:55That little short span that he has.
28:57Why don't you swap the rolls around tomorrow?
28:58Why don't you become the sous chef and Lee becomes the head chef for tomorrow night?
29:01No answer.
29:06Whatever you want to do, Garth.
29:08It's your fucking kitchen!
29:11You're supposed to say, bollocks, no!
29:13I'm the fucking chef!
29:14My name's Tim Gray, it's me on the menu!
29:16No?
29:20Yes or no?
29:21Yes.
29:22Oh.
29:23Jesus.
29:26Maybe it's me.
29:27I should try the softly, softly approach.
29:29We've got a big night Saturday night, it's full.
29:31Yep.
29:32And it's the first time since you've both been here that the place is full.
29:34OK?
29:35And whilst I'm here, you're not shafting me as well at the same time, you know that?
29:38Yep.
29:39We're going to work together.
29:40Over the next 15-20 minutes, I want you both to think of something really simple, menu-wise.
29:45Three starters, three main courses and three puddings.
29:48What do you think, Lee?
29:49Soup.
29:51Yeah?
29:52By passing some of the decision-making back to Tim, I'm hoping to build up his confidence and install some pride in his food.
29:58It's hard to write a simple menu when you've had your head up your arse for so long doing, trying to make fancy, silly food.
30:05That's the kind of stuff we're going for, innit?
30:07So, what are they came up with?
30:09Main courses, liver and onions, mashed potato, macaroni cheese, fish and chips, musher peas, Lancashot pot.
30:17Lancashot pot.
30:18Lancashot pot.
30:19That sounds nice.
30:20And you come up with your ideas together?
30:21Yeah, we'll just flip through some books and thought, what's simple?
30:24And, you know, basically thought, what did we used to have at school?
30:27What did we like at school?
30:28And not forgetting, where are we?
30:30In Silsen, in Yorkshire.
30:31We're getting there! We're getting there!
30:38In devising this new menu, I'm aiming to take most of the pressure off Tim and Lee during service.
30:4490% of the food can be prepared and perfected a day in advance.
30:49Let's go.
30:50Show me if you can handle two pans at once.
30:52As long as it's made well, they can't fail to be a hit with the customers.
30:57There should be 15 things going on there, all at the same time.
31:00Coordination, understanding, medium, pink, is it well done?
31:04Onions, roasted, vans.
31:06In short, Bonaparte's new bistro menu is designed to be idiot-proof.
31:11Definitely.
31:12Identify them as vegetarians, yeah?
31:14Let's go.
31:15Come on.
31:17So far, Tim's attitude towards Sue has been that of a stroppy teenager rather than a respectful and supportive employee.
31:24I'm going to go on a tomato soup, a rustic tomato soup, yeah?
31:28Yeah.
31:29And some little cheese for you.
31:30That's probably a first it's actually come to us.
31:32I've had to run down and chase all the time.
31:35And then, you know, I need this.
31:36And then, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll come later.
31:38I say, I need it now.
31:39Well, basically, you just put them through some butter, crush them up.
31:43Today seems a lot better.
31:45I don't know what he's been doing to him down there, but it's certainly improving.
31:50In the week I've been here, I've hardly seen Tim or Lee sample or season anything they've made.
31:57No wonder their tasteless food is failing to woo the customers.
32:00Everything we do in this kitchen has to be tasted.
32:04I don't care if it's a fucking bread roll, a lemon meringue pie, or a chicken Kiev.
32:09You have got to start tasting things.
32:12From now on, Bland is off the menu, and to teach these two a lesson they'll never forget I'm resorting to dirty tactics.
32:21You know what a medium steak tastes like, yes?
32:24Does that taste like a sirloin, T-bone steak, or is it a rump steak?
32:32Sirloin.
32:33Sirloin.
32:34Sirloin.
32:35It tastes like sirloin.
32:37Fucking hell.
32:38Here we go.
32:39Now for the pork.
32:40Okay.
32:41Open up.
32:42Okay.
32:43Tell me whether it's medium, or is that well done?
32:46Medium.
32:47And?
32:48Long and.
32:49Well done.
32:50None of you got that right.
32:51Yes?
32:52Yes.
32:53Pork.
32:54Pork.
32:55Pork and fucking lamb.
32:57Fucking hell.
32:58You don't realise until someone blindfold you and feeds you that your palate's so non-active.
33:08Could have been worse.
33:11Could have been chicken.
33:12We would have looked like fucking idiots.
33:14Oh, shit!
33:15Tim's had a week of non-stop grief from me.
33:21Whip, whip, whip, whip, whip!
33:24Put the bowl down!
33:26This boy has really tested my patience.
33:29Right, how do we know they're ready now?
33:31You can lift them upside down.
33:34Yeah.
33:35Very yellow.
33:36And I really don't know if any of it's sunk in.
33:39God, I'd love to just get it and put it on.
33:42No, no.
33:43Shit!
33:44What happened?
33:45Oh!
33:48But with more than 40 guests expected in just over two hours' time, he'll soon be tested
33:53to his absolute limits.
33:57Oh, very well.
33:58I slipped.
33:59Oh, no.
34:00Don't tell me.
34:01It was the mud.
34:02It was the mud.
34:03Can't even take a fucking penalty.
34:05I'll say this for Tim.
34:06He's no quitter.
34:07And I don't want to see him fail.
34:09But now he's got to prove he's master of his own kitchen.
34:12We're not leaving this as a drawer, you know that?
34:15Hey.
34:16In cooking, nobody draws.
34:18Ever.
34:19One thing's for sure.
34:20Tonight, he'll either sink or swim.
34:23Whoa!
34:24Yes!
34:26Whoo!
34:27Another two upstairs.
34:28Possibly.
34:29Okay, good news.
34:30Good news.
34:31Another two.
34:32So we're up to 58 now.
34:33Sue's never had so many bookings.
34:34She's having to move furniture out.
34:35Right.
34:36Me.
34:37To fit more tables in.
34:38You happy with that?
34:39Chicken Kiev with roasted vine tomatoes.
34:40T-bone steak with homemade chips.
34:41Because there's so many involved for dinner.
34:42I wouldn't stall them upstairs for too long.
34:43You're really going to dump us in it, big time.
34:44Right.
34:45Crone cocktail, three bean salad with mustard dressing.
34:46What do you think?
34:47Ooh!
34:48I hardly dare say it, but this place has got a real buzz about it.
34:51What do you think?
34:52What do you think?
34:53Oh, his name's not all mine.
34:54Ah!
34:55Bingo!
34:56Where should you put that?
34:57On the back or?
34:58I don't want my name on it.
34:59We work as a team and it's a giant effort and bistro, you know.
35:00I don't want to stall them upstairs for too long.
35:01You're really going to dump us in it, big time.
35:02Crone cocktail, three bean salad with mustard dressing.
35:03What do you think?
35:04Ooh!
35:05Bistro of the cakes, I like them.
35:06I hardly dare say it, but this place has got a real buzz about it.
35:08There's one thing missing.
35:09What do you like on all your menus?
35:11Oh, his name's not all mine.
35:12Ah!
35:13Bingo!
35:14Where should you put that?
35:16On the back or?
35:17I don't want my name on it.
35:18We work as a team and it's a giant effort and bistro, you know, that's it.
35:23That's the most sensible thing you've said to me all fucking week, you know that.
35:31Every decent restaurant in the country is full on Valentine's Night.
35:36The competition down the road is packed to the rafters.
35:39And for once, so is Bonaparte's.
35:43In a small town like Sealsdon, business thrives on word of mouth.
35:47And if tonight's a disaster, it could break Sue.
35:50I have got a fear that he will not be able to cope with the numbers.
35:54Especially when he's saying that Eleven's busy.
35:57I don't think so.
35:59So we'll see what he's made of.
36:01Tim has got to get this right.
36:04Right, two fruit upstairs, two soup, two chicken.
36:06OK.
36:07Hey.
36:08Six o'clock, first order's in.
36:09OK.
36:10Hello, Chef.
36:12Yes.
36:13Well, what happened?
36:14Why don't you give it to Scott?
36:15Scott, first order in.
36:16Hey.
36:17Are we going to let the kitchen board call out the tickets or are you going to call them out?
36:19Come on.
36:20On order, two soup, two chicken, one creme brulee, one treacle tart.
36:24Please, Chef.
36:25Let's go.
36:26Soup's made.
36:27Get on to boil.
36:28Scott, put some water in it.
36:29Please.
36:30Something's burning.
36:31What's that burning?
36:32It's just on the air.
36:33It's on the grill thing.
36:34It's not the croutons, eh?
36:35No, it's not the croutons.
36:36Don't burn the croutons.
36:37Don't burn the croutons.
36:38I'm not burning the croutons.
36:39I'm not burning the croutons.
36:40The soup's on, yeah?
36:41Yeah.
36:42Pan on for the chicken?
36:43Not yet.
36:44I think we should put the pan on first, yeah?
36:45Start the chicken, and as they're eating the soup, the chicken's cooking, yeah?
36:48OK.
36:49Are you all right, yeah?
36:50Yeah, I'm fine.
36:51First order in.
36:52It's upstairs.
36:53You're OK.
36:54Well, the pan's not on for the chicken, yeah?
36:56Don't burn the croutons.
36:59OK.
37:00All right.
37:01How long for that soup?
37:04Five past.
37:0545 seconds.
37:07Oh, fuck off with you, yeah.
37:11What the fuck are you doing?
37:12Out of the way.
37:13Young man, what's up?
37:14I'm not going to go.
37:15I'm not going to go.
37:16I'm not going to go.
37:17Young man.
37:20What are you doing?
37:23Slow down.
37:24Talk to him.
37:26Lee, can you send the two soup, please?
37:28Wait.
37:30Look at the croutons.
37:33Charcoal again.
37:35Oh, God, it's the first fucking order.
37:40What's the matter?
37:42Nothing.
37:43Well, you're cooking like an absolute twat, you know that.
37:46Yeah?
37:47Just take your time.
37:49Big, deep breath.
37:50And talk to Lee a little bit.
37:52You're just on your own.
37:53Spinning round, round and round, and just creating a fucking bedlam.
37:57Yeah?
37:58Calm down.
37:59Get yourself organised.
38:00Yeah?
38:01And control yourself.
38:02Now, fucking come back to me a little bit.
38:04Come back to me a bit, yes?
38:05I'm back.
38:07Fucking...
38:08Come on, Timmy.
38:09Fresh start or we're going to go down like a sack of shit.
38:14That's better, Lee.
38:15Look at him.
38:16Look.
38:17Hey, nice and bright.
38:18Give us a smile.
38:19Yeah.
38:20It's well done, isn't it?
38:21Yeah.
38:22Yeah, come on, get in.
38:23Team work.
38:24Two minutes for some veg, then.
38:25Scottie can have two ovals out of there, Nate, please.
38:26On order, three-prong cocktail, one soup, one sirloin medium, one t-bone medium, one
38:39sirloin medium.
38:40So, it's what Rutgers died.
38:41We've got a lot of stuff to get on here.
38:43Good.
38:44Communicate.
38:45Good.
38:46I'm not here, too.
38:47Just get some small sandwiches.
38:48I need them.
38:49How long for a veg?
38:50One and a half.
38:51Good.
38:52Good.
38:53Good.
38:54Good.
38:55That's it, mate.
38:56We get anotherestyle oven, and .
38:57hehe.
38:58Am I thirsty?
38:59Yummy, yeah.
39:00No.
39:01What Seems like, child?
39:02On order, one prawns, one beans, one kiev, one sirloin own, well done.
39:09one lemon, one brouleh.
39:11Thank you, mate.
39:15Let's bite into what he can have there.
39:16Two ovals at all now, please.
39:17Good.
39:18That's it.
39:19Now you're talking to the whole brigade now.
39:21Now you're talking to the team which is fantastic.
39:22Keep it going, yes?
39:23Now you're talking to the team which is fantastic.
39:24Keep it going, yes?
39:25If you stop talking, we're going to go down, yeah?
39:30Yeah.
39:31Hey, it's not quite right, but at least it's moving up.
39:34Medium with salad, that's a medium on its own without salad,
39:37and that's a rare, yeah, without salad.
39:40Keep it together, yeah?
39:42Yeah.
39:43Yeah? Let's not get nervy.
39:44The thing was excellent.
39:46Yeah, it was very enjoyable.
39:48It's what we expected to have, really.
39:50It was really tasty and really enjoyable. It was nice.
39:54How many more to come, please, Sue?
39:55There's another four.
39:56Four.
39:57I overbooked, actually.
39:58The local competition tonight has got 46 booked.
40:00If we do this last four, we've beaten them.
40:02Yeah?
40:03Does that not just lift the morale up a little bit?
40:05Yeah?
40:06T-bone medium, medium, medium, medium and a chicken.
40:09Ladies and gentlemen, showtime.
40:12Cabaret, I'd like to introduce Tom Sawyer who...
40:15After prawn cocktail, get some holidays on, yeah?
40:17Call service, please, Scotty.
40:19Take it away.
40:20One T-bone steak medium and one chicken Kiev, please.
40:26And that's all going to table 12.
40:29Tell these two questions, please.
40:31Oh, it's the colour, though.
40:32When it's brown, it's cooked.
40:33When it's black, it's cooked.
40:34I have one.
40:35One.
40:36One.
40:37One.
40:38One.
40:39One.
40:40One.
40:41One.
40:42One.
40:43One.
40:44One.
40:45One.
40:46One.
40:47One.
40:48One.
40:49One.
40:50One.
40:51One.
40:52One.
40:53One.
40:54One.
40:55One.
40:56One.
40:57One.
40:58One.
40:59One.
41:00One.
41:01One.
41:02Two sirloin for medium.
41:03It's not finished yet, but...
41:04Yeah?
41:05Well done.
41:06Tim's gran and grandad are celebrating their 44th wedding anniversary.
41:21At last, Tim can repay them for the rubbish he served up a couple of nights ago with a delicious, well-cooked meal.
41:27It was lovely, that sir. It was beautiful, too.
41:28Well, that's how you liked it.
41:29Yeah.
41:30We did.
41:31We brought back memories, that people.
41:32Did it?
41:33Yeah.
41:34Hey, do you hear what grandad said?
41:35Yeah, it's brilliant.
41:36Brought back memories.
41:37Very good.
41:38You really surprised me tonight.
41:39And I'm really seriously over the moon that you didn't fuck it.
41:42I'm serious, huh?
41:43Yeah.
41:44Yeah.
41:45Because the first 15 minutes of six o'clock, you acted like the biggest twat in Britain,
42:01you know that?
42:02All over the shop.
42:03And you pulled it back together.
42:04And that wasn't me, that was you.
42:06And the feedback from them out there has been brilliant.
42:09What does that tell you?
42:10What does that put in there?
42:12I haven't had a service like that for a long time.
42:14And these stupid fucking illusions of grandeur.
42:17And all this stupid fine dining crap that you're trying to do.
42:20It's gone.
42:21Do you understand?
42:22Yeah.
42:23Exactly where you are now.
42:24Yeah, yeah.
42:25Totally understand.
42:26Do you understand what you're capable of doing within this restaurant?
42:28Yes.
42:29Stop trying to take it beyond something it's never going to be.
42:32You'll fuck the restaurant and you'll fuck yourself.
42:35Big time.
42:36Mm-hmm.
42:37So never forget tonight.
42:38You know when that shot bites.
42:41With his teeth in.
42:43Tonight, Sue's take-ins on a record 2,000 pounds.
42:51I thought the guys downstairs are absolutely brilliant.
42:53It's up to you now not to allow it to go back to where it was.
42:58I've been too soft.
42:59You have to be.
43:00Yeah, exactly.
43:01And I'm glad you're saying it.
43:02I've been too soft.
43:03That's exactly what I was going to say next.
43:04And I've also allowed him to have his head too much.
43:10Yes.
43:11I also think you've been confused to what you want.
43:14Yeah.
43:15Because you haven't been focused on one direction for the restaurant.
43:20Because you've been, you know, jumping all over the place.
43:23And that's part of a panic.
43:24Yeah.
43:25And that's wrong.
43:26And now tonight, it's clearly evident exactly what you need to do from this day onwards.
43:30And if he changes anything, I'll pickle these nuts.
43:33When I arrived at Bonaparte a month ago, it literally had no customers.
43:44Head chef Tim Gray was a liability.
43:50I didn't realise you were fucking off.
43:52He couldn't even cook an omelette.
43:54You're taking the piss, you know that.
43:56In one gruelling week, we transformed Bonaparte from a failing fine dining restaurant into a buzzing bistro.
44:04With Tim sending out quality food to nearly 50 contented customers on Valentine's night.
44:13Hallelujah.
44:15But since I left, Sue's given Tim two written warnings over his attitude.
44:19Now I'm back, unannounced, to find out what is going on.
44:26Turn that fucking thing off.
44:28My God.
44:30What's going on?
44:31Chilling.
44:32Chilling?
44:33It's Friday night.
44:34It's 7.30.
44:35How many's booked?
44:36Four.
44:37Four.
44:38And you've got the music blaring away?
44:39Yeah, I'm just...
44:40Where's Lee?
44:41He's upstairs on the bar.
44:42He's in the bar.
44:43What the fuck is that in there?
44:45Muscles.
44:46You're not serving them, are you?
44:47Yeah.
44:48What are the fridges like?
44:49What are the fridges like?
44:51My God!
44:53What is that shit in there?
44:58That is mould and fur.
45:00Dear, oh dear.
45:01So you haven't changed, have you?
45:03Oh, fucking hell.
45:04A whole week drumming into their thick skulls and it comes to this.
45:09Holy fuck!
45:11This is a living fucking nightmare!
45:15Nobody in this place is taking control and in this state, a health inspector would close them down without a second thought.
45:21Sir, I've got to show you this because it's part of your responsibility and this is your gaff.
45:27There you go.
45:28I should not be in.
45:29You didn't see this, Sue?
45:30No, I didn't actually.
45:31In fact, Mr. Tim, it was doing okay.
45:34It seemed to be okay.
45:35For the first three days and then it went.
45:38This is not right.
45:40This is fucking miles away.
45:42This is a nightmare, you know that?
45:43Because it's more loss on top of more loss and more loss and more mould.
45:48That's what worries me.
45:49Because you need to touch that.
45:51You need to rub your finger on that.
45:52You need to go to a chip.
45:54You need to season something.
45:55You put your finger in the tomato soup and then they're all fucked.
45:59You've just contaminated the whole place.
46:01And that's what really worries me.
46:02This kitchen is not fit to cook a fucking thing in.
46:06Right now.
46:08And that's your problem.
46:11I think I'd better just close.
46:14And put due to refurbishment.
46:16And you should bang out of grace for you.
46:19You know that?
46:21Just been giving him another chance and another chance.
46:25I can't tolerate that.
46:26It's just going to end up...
46:28It's a professional suicide, isn't it?
46:33He's conned me.
46:34Simple as that.
46:35I don't honestly think he did it deliberately.
46:38I don't think he's a nasty piece of work.
46:40I just think he lives in a Walter Mitty world.
46:42I begin to think that he's just convinced himself, to be honest.
46:45To go from Valentine's Day evening to this is...
46:55It's not even funny.
46:56There's just something wrong or not.
46:58There really is.
47:00Valentine's Day are good, man.
47:02I don't think I've gone home to bed or whatever feeling in a better, happier state of mind.
47:09And tonight I don't think I could go to bed in a worse one.
47:13It's beyond recognition, really, isn't it?
47:15How fucking stupid that...
47:18That someone can be, you know what I mean?
47:21It's a dog one.
47:23Who is that someone, Tim?
47:26That would be me.
47:28Pretty much.
47:30Yeah.
47:32Well, at least the bar's busy. That is one saving grace.
47:35But, really, thank God she closed that kitchen down because it was fucking disgusting.
47:41I mean, really, appallingly bad.
47:44Shockingly bad.
47:46If you just let me get on with it, it'd be a damn sight better.
47:49If I let you get on with it, this floor would be knee-deep in SH1T.
47:53But, before you rang me up, all aggressive.
47:56I was getting on with you fine, I was respecting you,
47:59and giving all the, like, gentlemanly bloody stuff I could...
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