- 2 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:30Transcription by CastingWords
01:00Transcription by CastingWords
01:30His plan to kill Beatrix Hasp
01:32I'm sorry, but there's just, uh, there's no way that he could know I'm headed to Beatrix's
01:46Bet you are, aren't you?
01:50So, he did. The iguana knows you are the only person who can lead him to have
02:00Both of them. Thank you.
02:12They're numbered here.
02:13Come in. You're a smart cookie, Charlie.
02:15But you don't understand what you're up against.
02:18He can look like anybody. I'm texting you a video. Right now.
02:24Each by the wedding venue. You see what I'm talking about?
02:29Hey, look, do you have to explain it to me?
02:34It's the iguana's prosthetics. It's his disguise.
02:39Huh?
02:39The top left is his nose.
02:45I'm sorry, but what kind of a psycho would recognize
02:48The iguana can look like anyone.
02:53Okay, and his
02:54She dies. I cannot protect you. FBI, CIA, NSA
03:03You know I'm not lying. Tell me. Do you know where Hasp is?
03:09Almost there.
03:10I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. Jim told me what you're going through.
03:40Agent Luca. Fucking Clark.
03:48Okay.
03:49Okay.
03:49Okay.
03:49Okay.
03:51Okay.
03:53Okay.
03:59Okay.
04:01Okay.
04:03Okay.
04:07Okay.
04:10I mean, look, it's right, yeah, ah, this, I mean, if this iguana guy is fall, Alex, look,
04:33I want to protect you, okay, but if there's a truck stop coming up, and we go with a new
04:39strategy, come on, Jesus, any one of these guys could be him, let's just get our food,
04:59get the fuck out of here, any sacrifice, I don't know, maybe why, whatever looks good,
05:08actually, no, just free-dried taffy, and then Almond Joy, and some of that jerky, but not the sweet kind,
05:13you know, the good stuff, just get whatever looks good, okay, man, fucking later,
05:17coffee, oh, hi, uh, two please, uh, some, I'm kidding, uh, there's a guy in the parking lot,
05:46oh, yeah, very quick on the fries, suspicious, and so any ideas cooking, yeah, all right,
05:56look, then, you and me, well, we go square this with Beatrix, once she's out of danger,
06:05that's right, that's right, and you already outran a bunch of mob guys before, right,
06:09wait, how hard can it be?
06:13sweet, is that how you got there?
06:21there, oh, shit, it's the same hand, it's the same position where they want a hat cut,
06:29it's the right height,
06:30oh, and they were beating him up, oh, yes, and the cops were there,
06:52as long as the highway behind the stairs,
06:54okay, grab the map, grab the map, baby, yes, we are going to be there, we are clearing your
07:00I asked you here because I believe the iguana is on his way to kill Beatrix Hasp right now,
07:08I need you each to release your three code words so I can locate Hasp and
07:12hearing nothing on the wires, agency source of location, you've offered a far-fetched theory
07:18to reveal where Hasp is, you argue because there's somebody, the iguana, an oyster-shocking
07:25drifter will take him, the iguana is hoping that you do exactly what you're doing, you can lead
07:31him there yourself, I think we can all, is not to reveal her location to anyone, between our
07:37agencies is so that no one agency or agent can work out where she is, it's the only way to keep
07:43this witness safe, and we must keep this witness safe, agent Clark, but I'm saying I believe the
07:49location has already been compromised, by this girl, yes, you have to understand, Charlie Kale
07:58has an uncanny talent for figuring out things that nobody else can, she's a force of nature,
08:06crime-solving genius, she has the detailed detection of a hawk, the logical meticulousness
08:15of Sherlock Holmes, and the stubborn persistence of an English bulldog at lunchtime, she can
08:20out-crack the NSA, out-smart the CIA, and she could frankly run the FBI better than anyone
08:26in this room, including me, so underestimate her, at your peril.
08:33I think we're done here.
08:41Here we go, here we go.
09:02So I'm gonna go in first, alright, uh, give her a little primer, you know, before we
09:14put you in the firing squad.
09:16Ah, fuck, I got a bad feeling, Jesus, why am I so nervous?
09:35You got any gum in there?
09:41If you got breath long, there's some freshness, what big red?
09:51Alright, listen to me, uh, anything goes wrong, anything feels weird, just slam on that horn,
09:58okay?
09:59Alright, I'll be back in a second.
10:04I got you.
10:05I got you.
10:34Alex!
10:35Shit, shit, shit, shit.
10:36Shit, shit.
10:40Ah, shit.
10:50Shit.
10:55Shit.
10:57Jesus, Jesus.
11:01Fuck.
11:02Oh, no, no, no, no.
11:33Andrew?
11:35Shit.
11:40Jesus, Charlie.
11:49You skink.
11:53I know who you are.
11:57I'm fucking with you.
12:00Couldn't resist.
12:03Hmm.
12:04Couldn't you be dying of anaphylaxis caused by a fatal cinnamon allergy?
12:08I'm severely, like, deathly allergic to cinnamon.
12:12All true.
12:14You know what's funny?
12:16The amount of lies I've told you,
12:18the amount of mundane, made-up details I've had to keep track of,
12:22it has been boggles.
12:24I never expected I'd get taken down by a stick of Big Red, though.
12:29I've always wondered if you were out there.
12:33And now I've found you.
12:35The one person in the world who can lie to me.
12:38Technically, I found you.
12:41Okay, so, uh, how do you do it?
12:45Is there, like, a trick or something?
12:47Like, you only use certain words, so technically you're not lying?
12:52No. I've lied to you.
12:54Over and over.
12:55Three seconds.
12:56Cool.
12:58So you're the world's biggest sociopath.
13:00Standing ovation.
13:01There you go!
13:07Jesus!
13:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:10Okay.
13:12Sudden hot flash.
13:13You mind?
13:14I'm of an age.
13:16Fucking Christ.
13:17Really, Alex.
13:18Man.
13:21And all for this, right?
13:23All to get to Beatrix Harris.
13:25I mean, Jesus, lady.
13:27Wasn't there an easier way?
13:29I'm doing the math here, you know?
13:31Seems like a lot of work.
13:34You invented a whole other person.
13:37Like, is there anything that you didn't lie to me about?
13:40Yes.
13:43There was one thing.
13:45I wasn't lying at the wedding when we first met.
13:49I really was at an all-time low.
13:52My entire adult life,
13:55I've been deceiving and killing some of the most powerful people in the world.
14:00It was always so easy.
14:05I've seduced and murdered movie stars.
14:08I've killed kings and queens.
14:11Dukes.
14:12Viscounts.
14:13Barons.
14:14Countesses.
14:17When the Vatican wanted to put out a contract on the sitting pope,
14:22they called me.
14:23You killed a pope?
14:24No.
14:26Always good to have a line.
14:27Cheap fuckers wouldn't make my rate.
14:31The last few years, though,
14:34a feeling had started to settle over me.
14:37I was taking out some CEO in a panic room 300 feet under the Alaskan tundra.
14:49It took months of research and planning.
14:53I traveled there on foot,
14:56a hundred miles,
14:58so that I could not be detected.
15:01I had to wrestle a polar bear to the death.
15:04Nobody knows you're here.
15:05Nobody knows you're here.
15:06What's this!
15:07No, no!
15:08I'm sorry.
15:09It was just a moment to stay here.
15:10What are you doing?
15:11What are you doing?
15:13We're doing a job,
15:15while you're doing a job.
15:16We're going to try to keep these days away.
15:17We're going to try to keep them.
15:18We're going to try the best.
15:19We're going to try to keep them down.
15:21to keep them down as soon as soon as possible.
15:22We're going to take them down as soon as possible.
15:23And when it was finally done, I realized what that feeling was.
15:40I was bored.
15:44There just was no challenge anymore.
15:46And without that, I was dead inside.
15:53Two weeks before we met, I hit an inflection point.
16:10Luckily, at that very moment, my agent clocked.
16:18I'm sorry. You have an agent?
16:20Talk about the world's biggest sociopath.
16:23I know you're out of the game, Iggy, but hear me out.
16:27I've got the perfect job. A real noisy comeback.
16:31Beatrix Hasp. She's about to testify against the entire East Coast mob,
16:35and there is a lot of money on the table to get her gone.
16:38A fucking mob hit?
16:41I told you, no more boring jobs.
16:44Wait, listen. Nobody will take it.
16:48They say it can't be done.
16:49The FBI's got this broad in some crazy, unbreakable protection program.
16:54She's been invisible since the day they arrested her.
16:57I'm hanging up.
16:58Hold on. Here it is.
17:01There's only one person left in the world who has any connection to Beatrix Hasp.
17:06And get this, honey.
17:08It's impossible to lie to her.
17:10Everyone can be lied to, Cedric.
17:12Not this girl.
17:14Charlie Kale is a bona fide human lie detector.
17:18Infallible. Every time.
17:21Let me send you a file.
17:22No.
17:22No.
17:23No.
17:23No.
17:24No.
17:24No.
17:24No.
17:24No.
17:25No.
17:25No.
17:26No.
17:26No.
17:27No.
17:28No.
17:28No.
17:29No.
17:30No.
17:31No.
17:32No.
17:33No.
17:34No.
17:35No.
17:36No.
17:37No.
17:38No.
17:39No.
17:39No.
17:40I haven't been caught in a lie since I was five years old.
17:45And that was only because I didn't know you could kill witnesses.
17:48Well, you actually can't.
17:52When I realized my kryptonite might exist, I couldn't wait to meet you.
17:59So I designed a test.
18:02The coffee.
18:03One black coffee.
18:04And what's the most disgusting beverage you have here?
18:08Butterscotch pumpkin mochaccino.
18:11It's like drinking a candle.
18:12It was perfect.
18:14Do you want this coffee?
18:16This was the moment.
18:18Could I lie to you?
18:21It's just a regular black coffee.
18:23They accidentally made me two.
18:25It required total suppression of my involuntary responses.
18:29Heart rate, adrenaline, body temperature,
18:32saliva production, oxygen concentration.
18:34I even had to control my sinuses.
18:37Not coffee.
18:39Not controlling the presentational effects,
18:41but choking off the roots of my humanity.
18:44They messed it up.
18:45I'm so sorry.
18:47I took everything I had.
18:49And I said it was black coffee.
18:50I lied.
18:51That's awful.
18:52It was exhilarating.
18:54It's fine.
18:55You're trying to do something nice,
18:56and you didn't lie.
19:01I went home,
19:02hooked up in a hydration IV,
19:05and slept for 26 hours.
19:07I'd never been happier.
19:10Lying to you,
19:11I felt like an Olympic athlete
19:12pushing beyond what's physically possible.
19:15I'd never struggled before.
19:17Not once.
19:18Lying to you was like great sex.
19:22I assume.
19:24I don't really do physical pleasure.
19:26You're all nice, unfortunate.
19:28And it never got easier.
19:32Every single time I lied to you,
19:35and I lied to you a lot,
19:36it was the same Herculean act.
19:39And even then,
19:40I could tell I was just barely
19:41getting it over the net.
19:44One slight flip up in concentration,
19:47and you'd detect me.
19:48I see.
19:53But lying to you was just the start.
19:57To find my way to Hasp,
19:59I adjourn your complete trust.
20:02That's when I got my lucky break.
20:06The murder at the gym.
20:08Oh, jackpot.
20:09I couldn't have planned it better.
20:11I became your kooky little Watson.
20:15And, uh, yeah, you lapped it up.
20:18After that,
20:19cracking the Charlie code was easy.
20:22I'm sorry, uh,
20:22what's the Charlie code?
20:24It's not complicated.
20:26You're a compulsive do-gooder.
20:28Simple as that.
20:30You're a sucker for
20:31the world's victims and losers.
20:35And, you know what?
20:36I think, uh,
20:38I think I, uh,
20:39I think I just like people.
20:42Do you?
20:44Sure.
20:45All they do is lie to you.
20:47All the time.
20:50You ask me a question,
20:52and I lie.
20:53Who'd you just have a conversation with?
20:55Nobody.
20:57Charlie, you've been talking to nobody
20:59your whole life.
21:01I saw how much I meant to you.
21:03Not being lied to for once.
21:06You loved it.
21:08Fine.
21:09I get it.
21:10Then what?
21:12And then I just had to get into
21:14some hot water that only
21:15Beatrix Hasp could pull me out of.
21:18Once I uncovered
21:19Hasp's adopted son,
21:22everything fell into place.
21:24First, I hired the world's
21:26second greatest assassin,
21:29Tooshnuck.
21:31Then, I got him to frame me,
21:33stick with the plan,
21:34find a patsy to take the fall,
21:36and we'll double your feet
21:37out, compensate for the added risk.
21:41He was room temperature butter
21:43in my hands.
21:44What?
21:44Oh.
21:58Oh.
22:02Oh.
22:04Oh.
22:09Oh.
22:10Oh.
22:12Oh.
22:12And that leads us to this moment here.
22:29I'm so sorry.
22:30What happened at the truck stop?
22:34I had to improvise that one.
22:37Hey, want an oyster?
22:45Oyster?
22:46Oh!
22:53Wow, well, my initial impression still stands.
22:57I mean, all that for a mob hit.
23:00Like, do you get paid by the hour or something?
23:04All because of you, Charlie, Kayla.
23:07The greatest challenge of my career.
23:11You gave me a reason to live.
23:14Wow.
23:15Well, here's some honesty for you.
23:19Even now, here, hearing you say those words,
23:25it still just sends a little zing through my heart.
23:29I guess I can't suppress that root of my humanity stuff, which is, uh, it's kind of fucked up.
23:39But it's also kind of a relief in a way, you know?
23:42It means I'll never be you.
23:44I really wish I didn't have to kill you.
23:50Ah, yeah, shit.
23:52Well, I figure that might be coming.
23:54Hey, uh, won't killing me mean that you got nobody left to light your fire?
24:00You just gotta go back to that meaningless thrum of nihilistic dread?
24:04Probably.
24:12What did you do?
24:13Oh, me.
24:15Oh, I, uh...
24:16I lit your fire.
24:29Clever girl.
24:29We have a location for Hasp.
24:41Greenville, Indiana.
24:43Contact local PD.
24:45Tell them to send everyone they have to that address right now.
24:47You want an extraction team for Hasp?
24:49Nope.
24:50Tell them to bring firepower.
24:51Suspect is armed and dangerous.
24:52Beatrix Hasp is likely dead.
24:54I'm on my way.
24:55I'm on my way.
24:59Hostage!
25:04I just got a hostage!
25:05Stand down!
25:06Do not engage!
25:10Ah!
25:10Jeez!
25:12Federal agents are en route and will intercept.
25:15Do not engage.
25:15Jeez!
25:16Powers!
25:18Necessary!
25:18Fuck!
25:28Help!
25:29What now?
25:52I'm supposed to headquarters!
25:54Okay, we can take out the car!
25:56I'm not putting our hostage in danger.
25:58There's no time!
25:59Fucking Christ, we need to act!
26:03Stand by!
26:04The hostage has a plan.
26:06I know how that sounds, but just wait.
26:12Is there a plan?
26:14Maybe cut a deal?
26:16Maybe you could negotiate down a minimum security?
26:18They're not catching me, Charlie.
26:21Explain to me how that interacts with reality.
26:24I got an order straight from the top to take out the car.
26:33We need to buy her more time.
26:35Get me Agent Darville on the line.
26:36Agent Darville can't help you.
26:37Then get me the director!
26:39No, Luca.
26:41The top top.
26:42You haven't been paying attention.
26:56I fooled the unfoolable Charlie Gale.
27:00The closest thing I'll ever have to a nemesis.
27:03So, what's left?
27:09This is the end of the road.
27:10You're wrong.
27:32Okay?
27:32He can't lie to me.
27:36See, you've never done it when I'm trying to catch you.
27:45And I don't think you can.
27:47They just turned onto a dirt road towards Grand Canyon Canyon.
28:10She's trying to lose us.
28:11Yeah!
28:12This dirt road dead ends at the Overlord.
28:25Are you paying attention now?
28:27Huh?
28:27Two truths and a lie.
28:29Fair fight.
28:30You win, I'll have an equal in the world.
28:32Sherlock to my Moriarty.
28:34And that'll be fun.
28:35That's the reason for us to live.
28:37And if you win, ready?
28:38Ready?
28:42When I was a kid, I had a dog named Puddles.
28:47I'm double-jointed.
28:48I'm gonna drive us off this cliff, no matter who wins this game.
28:56True.
29:01True.
29:06Bullshit.
29:07You win.
29:15Lay your coffee.
29:22Don't leave me scheekers!
29:30You're safe.
29:32You're home.
29:32You're home.
29:32You're home.
29:34You're home.
29:35You're home.
29:35You're home.
29:36You're home.
29:36You're home.
29:36Trailer for sale or rent
29:59Rooms to let 50 cents
30:02No phone, no pool, no pets
30:06I ain't got no cigarettes
30:10I'm a man of means by no means
30:15King of the road
30:18Rooms to let 50 cents
30:22I'm a man of means by no means
30:27King of the road
30:30Rooms to let 50 cents
30:35This is the hellish world
30:38This is the street car
30:44Help!
30:49Help!
30:51Help!
30:59Help!
31:07Help!
31:08Oh my God!
31:12Oh, shit, wait, wait.
31:15Oh, Jesus Christ.
31:17Oh, my God.
31:19Oh, my God.
31:20Oh, shit.
31:23Oh, oh, God.
31:25Oh, shit.
31:26Not bad for two people under 5'5", huh?
31:30I'm 5'7".
31:31I'll allow it.
31:34Oh, my God.
31:36Oh, fuck.
31:39I'm so sorry.
31:41I'm so sorry about Beatrix and you were right.
31:44Catching up real quick here.
31:46Your shuck buddy was the iguana and she could lie to you?
31:51Long story short, she could until she couldn't.
31:55Doesn't matter now.
31:57Agent Clark, any sign of the suspect?
31:59Becca.
32:00Whew.
32:02I don't see anyone up here.
32:04That bullshit.
32:05Oh, sorry about that.
32:07Reflex.
32:08Charlie, it's a stroke of luck.
32:11I found you first.
32:12They're sweeping the canyon.
32:16You can get mad at this, right?
32:18Like, you know, I mean, you could just tell them.
32:21I mean, I was trying to help, right?
32:23You just aided and abetted a serial killer.
32:25You got a federal witness killed.
32:26You revealed the location of a WITSEC safehouse.
32:28If I keep listing the federal crimes you've committed,
32:30they'll be here.
32:31Okay, I'll put it that way.
32:35Eesh.
32:37You're officially wanted by the FBI.
32:41Makes sense.
32:43Yeah.
32:43Two miles south, there's a service road that'll take you back to the highway.
32:54You let me go.
32:57We'll go.
32:59Call it a head start.
33:02Oh, thank you.
33:07Thanks.
33:08This wind.
33:13You look really cold.
33:15No, it's okay.
33:16I'll be okay.
33:17It's a service road.
33:19Two miles south.
33:21Yeah.
33:22I got it.
33:24It's cold.
33:26Yeah.
33:28Take this.
33:30Thanks, Luca.
33:31Next time, Charlie.
33:40I will arrest you.
33:42I mean, I have to at this point.
33:47Okay, go now.
33:49No scurry on.
33:51Yeah, go.
33:52Okay.
33:53Go a little faster, please.
33:55Okay, I'm running, Luca.
33:56Yeah.
33:56Is he clerked any signs of his suspects?
34:07That's it.
34:08Negative.
34:09Nothing up here.
34:20Take her to rise!
34:22Take her to rise!
34:23What?
34:24Fuck no, that dog's not with me.
34:26Where'd you come from?
34:29You're fucking on my whole shit.
34:34You're screaming with my eyes.
34:36All right, there you go.
34:37Walk, you go.
34:40Oh, shit.
34:42Oh, shit.
34:46You're gonna get hurt.
34:48Here.
34:50Jesus, you're shooting me.
34:55Hey!
34:56How's that, Dan?
34:59How's it going?
35:01Fuck yes.
35:06Hey.
35:07Thank you for stopping.
35:09So, where are you headed?
35:11Oh, uh...
35:12I guess that's a deceptively profound question.
35:16Well, I'm going to Wichita.
35:20Works for me.
35:21You mind if I'm a scam?
35:25Oh, well, hello.
35:34I'm Charlie, by the way.
35:36Thanks.
35:37You're right.
35:37He's standing in the clothes that you once wore.
35:55Strike another match.
36:03Let's go start anew
36:06Cause it's all over now, baby blue
36:13It's all over now, baby blue
36:33We'll see you in the next one
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