- gestern
Kategorie
✨
MenschenTranskript
00:00:00Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, the Emperor of Comedy, Sir Eddie Griffin!
00:00:30I want to fuck Michelle Obama.
00:01:00I need her on my team.
00:01:03I'm waiting on Obama to fuck up.
00:01:06That nigga slip up, I'mma slide right in.
00:01:10What's happening, Michelle?
00:01:12You like comedy?
00:01:15That's a fine chocolate motherfucker.
00:01:20You understand me?
00:01:23I didn't vote for Obama because of him.
00:01:26I voted because of her.
00:01:35This is the first First Lady that is fuckable.
00:01:40Because you didn't want to fuck Daddy Bush's wife.
00:01:49She looked like she jumped off the dollar bill.
00:01:53Look at that.
00:01:54That's George Washington.
00:01:57And you didn't want to fuck George Jr.'s wife.
00:02:04She looked like the momma on Damien Omer.
00:02:08Every time I see her face, all I hear is,
00:02:10ha, he, he, he, ha.
00:02:12You look like the bitch head about to spin around any moment.
00:02:17And I don't think you wanted to fuck Hillary either.
00:02:22I don't think Hillary like dick.
00:02:25She wear more pantsuits than her brother at a funeral.
00:02:31Now here's how I know Obama got some pimp in him.
00:02:36All right?
00:02:37Remember when Hillary was running against him?
00:02:39She talking all that shit about Obama.
00:02:41Obama got the job.
00:02:44He gave a car job.
00:02:48That's pimpin'.
00:02:51And what job did the brother give him?
00:02:54Secretary of State.
00:02:56What's the Secretary of State's job?
00:02:58Get the fuck out the country.
00:03:02He banished that bitch to foreign lands.
00:03:09And the happiest motherfucker about it is Bill Clinton.
00:03:22You know Bill at home.
00:03:23Thank you, Obama.
00:03:25I get my dick sucked every day.
00:03:35Now I knew Obama.
00:03:38I knew he had some nigga in him.
00:03:41You know, because at first you couldn't tell.
00:03:43But one day it jumped out of him.
00:03:52Y'all remember that day him and George Bush
00:03:53was walking outside the White House
00:03:56and his swag was on 250?
00:04:01I'm sitting at the crib watching it on TV.
00:04:04I said, that motherfucker's a pimp.
00:04:07You can damn near hear the conversation.
00:04:09Hurry up and get your shit out of my house.
00:04:13Take your punk ass back to Texas.
00:04:16You bitch.
00:04:22Because at first I thought Obama was an African American.
00:04:28And white people, I know y'all think all black people the same.
00:04:32Mm-mm.
00:04:33Mm-mm.
00:04:34We just like you white folks.
00:04:36You got different kind of white folks.
00:04:37You got honkies.
00:04:38You got crackers.
00:04:39You got rednecks.
00:04:40You got white guys.
00:04:41Black people the same way.
00:04:46You got black folks.
00:04:49Just don't want to be bothered.
00:04:53You got old Negroes.
00:04:55I sure wish slavery come back.
00:04:59Masa was so good to us.
00:05:02And you got African Americans.
00:05:04I graduated from college.
00:05:05Coondola.
00:05:06And then you have niggas, which I happen to be a member of.
00:05:17Because niggas know it's some bullshit right around the corner.
00:05:35You know how they say there's no more racism.
00:05:39You know, since Obama got in office.
00:05:41You know, you got a black president.
00:05:42There's no more racism.
00:05:43Bullshit.
00:05:44Bullshit.
00:05:49They just got slick with the shit.
00:05:50They don't say nigger anymore.
00:05:51They just say, we're not hiring.
00:05:56Translation, nigger.
00:05:59I'm sorry, your bank loan has been denied.
00:06:02Nigger.
00:06:04Pull over, nigger.
00:06:09Now, Obama, here's how I really knew he had some nigger in him.
00:06:13He threw a barbecue at the White House.
00:06:18He invited the NBA, the NFL, every rapper.
00:06:21I think I was the only nigger that wasn't there.
00:06:24You know white people were sitting at home.
00:06:26My God, it's all over.
00:06:27The niggers were barbecuing.
00:06:29They're licking their fingers.
00:06:30They're licking their fingers.
00:06:32They got college greens and black eyed peas.
00:06:35Here's how I really knew he was from the hood.
00:06:40He put a swing set.
00:06:42I don't think y'all heard it.
00:06:45He put a swing set on the White House line.
00:06:50That's some nigger shit.
00:06:55He got enough money and power to send his daughters to Disneyland
00:06:58every day, every day.
00:07:00He said, fuck that.
00:07:01Put that swing set outside that window.
00:07:03So I keep my eye on they little ass.
00:07:06Because black people, we watch our kids.
00:07:09I'm talking to you white folks.
00:07:12I'm tired of seeing y'all kids on my milk carton.
00:07:17You know you just trying to pull some milk on your cereal.
00:07:20And there's always that little white face with the caption underneath it.
00:07:23Have you seen me?
00:07:25No, I ain't seen your little ass.
00:07:27And how come your parents don't know where the hell you at?
00:07:30You ain't never seen little brothers and sisters on a milk carton.
00:07:34Because if you did, they'd be posing.
00:07:37When white people tell their kids to go out and play, they mean that shit.
00:07:48They kids be five miles away.
00:07:50They out in the woods.
00:07:52Next thing you know, they duct tape in the back of the van.
00:07:55Living in somebody's tent in the backyard for 20 motherfucking years.
00:08:00Y'all remember the little white bitch that was in the backyard?
00:08:03I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call her little white bitch.
00:08:05I don't know the whole little white bitch was in the backyard.
00:08:10You know that ain't motherfucking kidnapping.
00:08:12That's adoption.
00:08:1420 years, you got to feed and clothe this little motherfucker?
00:08:18Black people, we trying to get rid of our own kids.
00:08:20Here, take one of these motherfuckers.
00:08:22I remember when we was coming up, black people, back me up on this.
00:08:28When we coming up, remember your parents tell you, you could play to the end of this block.
00:08:33Remember, that's as far as your ass go.
00:08:36Ain't no going out through the woods.
00:08:38The end of that motherfucking block.
00:08:41And I remember my mama told me, if you go any further, I'm going to fuck you up.
00:08:48I remember one day, me and my partner, Dawn and Joanie, we kicking it, right?
00:08:51We get up to the corner, nigga.
00:08:53Boom, boom.
00:08:54They like, Ed, come on, let's go on the next block.
00:08:59Let's see what's over there.
00:09:04Boy, I was nervous.
00:09:09That's when you look down to see if your mama on the front porch.
00:09:14My mama look at me dead now.
00:09:23I couldn't hear her, but her mouth said...
00:09:30My Uncle Bucky had his pistol.
00:09:32He's like, I can shoot your ass from here.
00:09:35I'm like, you know.
00:09:37They're like, you ain't going there?
00:09:39I'm like, no, man.
00:09:40You know, I caught a Charlie horse.
00:09:42You know, I ain't trying to look like no punk.
00:09:44I got a horse, you know.
00:09:46They're like, oh, you old bitch-ass nigga.
00:09:48I said, I'll be the bitch today.
00:09:51I'd rather fight both of y'all than take one ass-whooping from her.
00:09:55See ya.
00:09:56My mama beat me out of the penitentiary.
00:10:02As y'all can see, I is free.
00:10:05And obviously, y'all parents whooped y'all out the penitentiary
00:10:12cause y'all here, we's free.
00:10:18Them two brothers I'm talking about locked up right now.
00:10:23Cause pain give you a memory of what not to do.
00:10:27You know what I'm saying?
00:10:28Your partner be like, come on, Eddie, let's rob this liquor store.
00:10:30I ain't going.
00:10:31I'm cool right here.
00:10:38Yeah, it's rough being a kid nowadays, man.
00:10:41You know what I mean?
00:10:42The teachers is fucking them.
00:10:46The preachers is fucking them.
00:10:48No wonder the kids can't go to school.
00:10:50They tired of getting fucked.
00:10:53Everywhere they turn, somebody got a dick for them.
00:10:57You understand me?
00:10:58You know what I mean?
00:10:59I just got this brother, Eddie Long.
00:11:02Oh, don't ooh me.
00:11:03I didn't make this shit up.
00:11:04Y'all seen it, y'all.
00:11:07And you know, at first I had to get a brother the benefit of the doubt.
00:11:10You know what I mean?
00:11:11I'm like, nah, black preachers don't fuck little boys.
00:11:14That's the difference between a white church and a black church.
00:11:17White churches fuck your son.
00:11:20Black church fuck your wife.
00:11:28If you going to church and your wife is constantly sitting on the front row, nigga.
00:11:35Rev him, dick him down.
00:11:38So I'm like, nah, Eddie Long, they just talking shit about this brother because he making money with his church.
00:11:43Then I seen one of the kids, remember, he got on the news last week.
00:11:46And the kid was like, you know, he can't look me in my eye.
00:11:52And he looking dead in the camera.
00:11:53He can't look me in my eye.
00:11:55He ain't no preacher.
00:11:56He's a predator.
00:11:58I couldn't take enough showers to get his scent off of me.
00:12:01Nigga, I'm sitting at home.
00:12:02I'm like, nigga, sound like you was in love.
00:12:04Gee, God gave that motherfucker preacher the right last name. Long.
00:12:19He been long stroking them little boys.
00:12:25And here's how I know the motherfucker guilty.
00:12:28Cause he got up in the pulpit and talked for a half hour.
00:12:32Not one time did he say, I didn't do it.
00:12:37That motherfucker said, I got five rocks and I ain't thrown one yet.
00:12:43I said, that's the gayest shit ever heard in my life.
00:12:49That nigga didn't say, I got five bullets.
00:12:51I ain't bust a cap on the motherfucker.
00:12:53That nigga said, I got five rocks and I ain't thrown one yet.
00:12:57And did you see how the nigga dropped the mic?
00:13:10I sat at home. I said, he did it. He did it.
00:13:13He pulled out his pole of Moses, parted that little boy Red Sea and let his people go.
00:13:18Just to keep it biblical.
00:13:23Truth like rain don't give a fuck who it fall on.
00:13:27I don't go to church.
00:13:30God don't live in church. They say the body is the temple.
00:13:33I'm walking in church right now.
00:13:38Soon as you go to church, there's somebody trying to stick a dick in you and they need some money.
00:13:42Every war in humanity's history has been over some kind of motherfucking religion.
00:13:53You know what I mean? I don't get caught up in that bullshit because I don't think God ever wrote a Bible or a Koran.
00:13:59He didn't have to write no shit. He ain't no playwright.
00:14:02It's written in your essence.
00:14:03Cause the Bible is written by me in the book of Peter, the book of John, the whole book about Jesus.
00:14:10But that nigga ain't wrote one book.
00:14:14The motherfucker that is about didn't write shit.
00:14:17All the hangouts wrote a book. Shit. I know the nigga, nigga.
00:14:23And you notice in each one of them book, they the closest one to Jesus.
00:14:27Peter like shit, me and Jesus was tight, nigga.
00:14:29In John's book. Shit, I was damn near the nigga daddy, you know.
00:14:36God didn't write no book.
00:14:38It's written in your essence.
00:14:40Nobody ever had to tell you it's wrong to kill your mama.
00:14:44Somehow you born innately knowing that.
00:14:47Which means you born knowing right and wrong.
00:14:50So put the book down cause it will fuck you up.
00:14:53You understand me?
00:14:54It starts out messed up in the beginning in the book of Genesis.
00:14:59In the beginning there was Adam and Eve.
00:15:02And Adam and Eve had two sons, Cain and Abel.
00:15:05And Cain and Abel got married.
00:15:07To who?
00:15:09Where did these mystery bitches come from?
00:15:12I like messing with Christians, man.
00:15:18Cause they easy to get. You can get under they skin quick, you know.
00:15:22You know, I tell a Christian in a minute, I said, I don't believe
00:15:26Jesus died on no cross.
00:15:30Sacrilege.
00:15:31Sacrilege.
00:15:33I said, well, wait a minute. He could walk on water.
00:15:36Feed a thousand with a loaf of bread.
00:15:38Raise the dead.
00:15:39But you telling me this nigga couldn't handle three nails.
00:15:45I know brothers with nine bullet wounds still walking around.
00:15:49His name is 50 Cent.
00:15:53You telling me 50 Cent colder than Jesus.
00:15:56Maybe you delusion no motherfucker.
00:15:58I bet you Jesus was a cool kid.
00:16:02His mama be like, now Jesus, go on in there and take a bath.
00:16:07And don't be walking on your water.
00:16:15That's probably why they invented the shower, just to get the nigga wet.
00:16:28Look at some of the Christian heads in here, you going to hell.
00:16:36Don't be talking about Jesus, Eddie. Don't be talking about him.
00:16:40You know how Jesus whistle?
00:16:42You know, with the hole in the hand.
00:16:44Look, y'all really like, nigga, that's it. The lightning's coming.
00:17:00Christian always the first one to send somebody to hell.
00:17:02You going to hell.
00:17:04How the fuck you know?
00:17:06Like God came down.
00:17:07Uh, let that nigga know he going to hell.
00:17:10I'm kind of busy right now.
00:17:12You know what I mean? I made my heavenly father's image.
00:17:15If I got a sense of humor, that means God got one.
00:17:18God probably up there cracking up right now.
00:17:21Hey, Jesus, come here. That crazy nigga I made his own.
00:17:23He talking about you, boy. He said you walk on your bathwater.
00:17:31He said you whistle like this.
00:17:34I don't get mad, nigga. That shit was funny. That shit was funny.
00:17:44They always try to make God this uptight asshole motherfucker.
00:17:48You know what I mean? Like if you get some pussy, you going to hell.
00:17:51You made the pussy.
00:17:54Shouldn't have made it so motherfucking good.
00:17:57I mean, what kind of catch-22 is that?
00:17:58Here, Eddie, here's some pussy, but don't partake in it.
00:18:02Shit, nigga.
00:18:08See, I'd be a Muslim, but the Muslim faith, they too strict.
00:18:12You know what I mean? You can't smoke no weed.
00:18:14You can't get your dick sucked by a bitch that ain't your wife.
00:18:17Matter of fact, you can't see your wife's face until you marry her.
00:18:22They keep them veiled up. All you get to see is the eyes.
00:18:25You really got to love that bitch's eyes.
00:18:28You be like, damn, she got some pretty eyes.
00:18:32Then you marry her as the veil come off.
00:18:35No wonder they get 20 wives. You playing the law of averages.
00:18:45I'm telling you, I think Christians are jealous of Muslims.
00:18:50Because you ain't going to out devout a Muslim.
00:18:53That's the most devout faith you'll ever run into.
00:18:56A Muslim will strap a bomb on theyself and blow theyself up about some Muhammad.
00:19:02Ask a Christian to put a bomb on and blow theyself up about Jesus.
00:19:06No, he wouldn't want me to do that.
00:19:17He just blessed me with this house.
00:19:20I'm sure he wants me to live in it.
00:19:23Everybody fighting over this religious shit.
00:19:33You understand me?
00:19:35The Christians say Jesus is the messenger.
00:19:37The Muslims say it's Muhammad.
00:19:39I say, who gives a fuck who the messenger is?
00:19:41Did you get the message?
00:19:43They got the same damn message.
00:19:54Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
00:19:58Science proves that to be a fact.
00:20:00For every action, there's an opposite and equal reaction.
00:20:04Don't fuck with me and I won't fuck with you.
00:20:13I'll tell you somebody who needs Jesus right around now.
00:20:17Tiger Woods.
00:20:20Do you remember when Tiger Woods kept talking that shit?
00:20:23Are you a nigga?
00:20:24No, no, no, no, no.
00:20:26I'm a complication.
00:20:30Oh, it's complicated now, huh?
00:20:33Oh, he's a nigga now for sure.
00:20:35They handed that motherfucker his nigga card.
00:20:38Accepted nowhere.
00:20:43And you know what white people really mad at?
00:20:48When they love Tiger, that nigga was at the house, at the mansions.
00:20:53And they thinking back.
00:20:54You know the motherfucker be like, Tiger, stay here with my wife.
00:20:59I'ma go to the store and get us some more wine.
00:21:03That white man sitting there now, he probably fucked my wife.
00:21:08Cause Tiger was slanging dick.
00:21:13What I like about Tiger, he kept it golf.
00:21:18He had 18 holes.
00:21:20One for every hole of golf.
00:21:25$750 million he had to pay his ex-wife.
00:21:31Ladies, y'all need to chill the fuck out.
00:21:35Since when did pussy become higher case value than dick?
00:21:39It all begins with dick.
00:21:42Fucking don't begin till a dick get hard.
00:21:45When a dick goes off, fucking's over.
00:21:48Now here's where Tiger messed up.
00:21:53Now, fellas, I want y'all to look at the woman sitting next to you that you brought here.
00:21:58Look at her right now.
00:22:00Look at her.
00:22:01Now you see how fine she is?
00:22:04Don't ever fuck nothing uglier than her.
00:22:10You don't fuck down.
00:22:12You fuck up.
00:22:13You fuck a woman uglier than your woman, she gonna be mad and a motherfucker.
00:22:23Nigga, I know I look better than that bitch.
00:22:25Nigga, what's wrong with me?
00:22:27What's wrong with me?
00:22:28That's when they go crazy.
00:22:29What the fuck is wrong with me?
00:22:31I look better than that bitch.
00:22:32What's wrong with me?
00:22:33You fuck a bitch that's finer than your woman, she gonna act like she mad.
00:22:44But she can't get mad.
00:22:46She gonna look at him like, shit, I didn't know that nigga could catch that.
00:22:50I might have to step my game up.
00:22:52Rich black man and white woman don't go together.
00:23:03Ass O.J.
00:23:05Kobe.
00:23:06Tiger Woods.
00:23:07It ain't no good.
00:23:15Cause white women will set your ass smooth the fuck up.
00:23:19Oh, nigga, they better learn their history.
00:23:23See, they say black women are the strongest women on earth.
00:23:25In a way.
00:23:27But at least a sister gonna let you know up front.
00:23:30Nigga, I will fuck you up.
00:23:35You know what you dealing with.
00:23:38White women, sneaky.
00:23:40Really?
00:23:42It's like that, Tom.
00:23:46Them bitches grabbed the phone.
00:23:47Hello?
00:23:50Officer?
00:23:52He raped me.
00:23:54White women play victim quicker than a motherfucker.
00:23:58But that white man got a line for you white women.
00:24:02See, when that white man get mad, he get mad.
00:24:05You know, brothers, we get mad, we march.
00:24:07We shall overcome.
00:24:08You know, we get a good march in, misspelled signs, we gone, you know.
00:24:14That white man get mad, nigga, he snap.
00:24:19You know, white women like, I ain't taking the kids, I ain't taking the house.
00:24:24We're gone, we're out of here, you asshole.
00:24:26You asshole.
00:24:28That white man be like this.
00:24:30I came from a long line of Brookshires.
00:24:33You're not gonna take my seed from me, Guinevere.
00:24:37Now here's the one sentence that white man got for the ass.
00:24:42Over my dead body.
00:24:45And that motherfucker mean, that shit.
00:24:48Over my dead body.
00:24:50I'll kill you.
00:24:52Then I'll kill the kids.
00:24:54I'll burn the fucking house to the ground.
00:24:56Then I'll do myself.
00:24:58Brother can't even try that shit.
00:25:04So it'll be like, nigga, I'm leaving.
00:25:07I'm gonna kill you.
00:25:09You killing who?
00:25:10Let her kill him again, motherfucker.
00:25:12Oh, nigga, let's get some killing going.
00:25:14Come on, nigga.
00:25:16What, what?
00:25:17Nigga be like, I'm just playing, girl.
00:25:19You know I'm joking with you, girl.
00:25:21You know I'm joking with you.
00:25:22You know I'm joking with you.
00:25:24We don't even get to the part of burning the house down to kids.
00:25:27You know I was trying to make it like, everybody's after the white woman.
00:25:34You look at the movies.
00:25:36King Kong after the bitch.
00:25:39Now y'all know damn well this is a nigga's story.
00:25:43You know the big old gorilla.
00:25:45He had all them fine African sisters seen one white woman and lost his mind.
00:25:51That's why they call it jungle fever.
00:25:53That motherfucker Kong got that white bitch nigga he picked up just blowing on the hoe.
00:26:00I got him a white bitch.
00:26:02I got him a white bitch.
00:26:04They took his white bitch.
00:26:05That motherfucker swam to New York.
00:26:06They took the bitch up on the building.
00:26:11Where's my white bitch?
00:26:15I need my white bitch.
00:26:16I got him a white bitch bitch and...
00:26:32Dracula after the bitch.
00:26:46Where the white bitch?
00:26:47Where the white bitch?
00:26:49You ain't never seen Dracula bite a sister.
00:26:52Sister be like, you better put them motherfucking pangs up.
00:26:56I'll be coming around my neck with that bullshit.
00:26:57I ain't freaky like that.
00:26:59Now you can eat my pussy, nigga.
00:27:02I'm on my period.
00:27:06You want some blood?
00:27:20And I don't even know why Dracula bite fresh bitches.
00:27:26Bitch on her period.
00:27:27All the blood you want, motherfucker.
00:27:29You know what I mean?
00:27:30He can pull the tampon out, suck on her like a lollipop.
00:27:34Use the string like dinner floor.
00:27:42They got some new kind of white women now.
00:27:44You know, I'm in my 40s.
00:27:48You know, I remember when all white women had straight backs.
00:27:51You know what I mean?
00:27:52No ass, just a long back.
00:27:54You know, you can lay them down, get a good crease in your pants.
00:27:58Iron them boys like a mother.
00:27:59Now they got some ass on them.
00:28:02Now they got some ass on them.
00:28:02I don't know what you white women are eating, but keep it up.
00:28:06They be walking down the street.
00:28:08Gah-gah-gah-gah-gah.
00:28:10You got competition, LaQuisha.
00:28:11Because, you know, every city I go to on tour, there's always the brother with the white woman.
00:28:26Now, brothers, let me ask y'all something, because I see a couple of y'all here with the white woman.
00:28:29Why, when y'all get a white woman, y'all get the ugliest white bitch in town?
00:28:41And be walking proud with them.
00:28:43Yeah, that's just fine.
00:28:45Holding hands and shit.
00:28:48You know what I mean?
00:28:48Brothers don't even hold hands with their own sister.
00:28:50You know what I mean?
00:28:50You watch a brother walking down the street.
00:28:52Sister be behind him.
00:28:53Nigga, I'm with you.
00:28:54Come on, keep up.
00:28:55They get a white woman act like he hit the jackpot.
00:29:00Yes, I got her.
00:29:06But when you see a white man with a sister, oh, they get the baddest sister they got in town.
00:29:13Oh, white boys don't fuck around.
00:29:14When they get a sister, they get a sister.
00:29:18And they be walking, holding hands.
00:29:19Goddamn right, I got her.
00:29:25I'm going to teach her how to river dance.
00:29:37Doesn't against you white people.
00:29:38Y'all just different.
00:29:41You know how the motherfuckers say they don't like black people, right?
00:29:44And the ones that I'm talking about, I'm talking about you.
00:29:47Not all white people.
00:29:47There's some cool motherfuckers.
00:29:49You're here.
00:29:52Obviously, motherfuckers, you're here.
00:29:55But you know the ones I'm talking about, them motherfucking racist sons of bitches.
00:30:00You understand me?
00:30:01I don't like black people.
00:30:03Well, why you lay out in the sun and try to become black?
00:30:09You don't see black people laying out in the moonlight trying to lighten up.
00:30:16Like, brother, what you doing, nigga?
00:30:17I'm trying to get that Prince tone, nigga.
00:30:21Morse day up in this bitch, nigga.
00:30:22Be happy to be white, white folks.
00:30:28Y'all ain't even white, really.
00:30:29Y'all colored.
00:30:31Y'all should all join the NAACP.
00:30:35And when are these niggas going to change the name of that organization?
00:30:37The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.
00:30:40Motherfucker, we ain't been colored people since the 40s.
00:30:42Y'all mean, we became Negroes, then we became niggas, and now we African-Americans.
00:30:48Motherfucker, treat me like a hot dog and ketchup.
00:30:53And anybody should be saying they the NAACP is white folks.
00:30:58You understand me?
00:30:58Because y'all colored people.
00:31:01Only white people can turn red when they mad.
00:31:03Look at them.
00:31:06They blush.
00:31:07They're a little pink.
00:31:09When you hit them, they blue and purple.
00:31:15Y'all colored people like motherfuckers.
00:31:18Y'all the whole box of goddamn crayons.
00:31:22Shit, I might be blushing right now.
00:31:23You can't tell.
00:31:36Damn it, shit.
00:31:37Comedy Central done fucked up.
00:31:43They done fucked around and gave this nigga a special.
00:31:47You know, the rest of them, like, I don't say the N-word no more.
00:31:50You know, I ain't.
00:31:51We done with that.
00:31:53I'm an African-American.
00:31:54I'm a nigga.
00:31:56Go like.
00:32:00Nigga.
00:32:04And I said nigga, white people.
00:32:07I didn't say nigga.
00:32:09Two different motherfucking words.
00:32:12That girl part will get you fucked up.
00:32:15Nigga.
00:32:16Sound like you're growling at me.
00:32:18Put a rope around my neck.
00:32:19And they motherfuckers got the audacity to get mad because they can't say it.
00:32:27What was that white bitch?
00:32:30Dr. Lord, that stank bitch.
00:32:33All on the news.
00:32:34I'm out.
00:32:35Nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga.
00:32:37I said, where's a nigga to smack this bitch?
00:32:39Well, why can't I say it?
00:32:43Bitch, did your people ever get put into slavery?
00:32:46Did a motherfucker oppress you for 450 years and counting, motherfucker?
00:32:50Well, you ain't earned the right to say that word.
00:32:52You understand me?
00:32:53We all got words we can't say.
00:32:56They act like it's only us.
00:32:58You understand me?
00:32:58Every culture's got they word.
00:33:00Mexicans can call each other beaners.
00:33:02You go over there and say that shit and not get your ass cut.
00:33:06Italians call each other guinea wats.
00:33:08So what I'm saying, everybody got they shit.
00:33:10Y'all was concerned with what a nigga's saying.
00:33:13I can't say, nigga.
00:33:14You sure can't, motherfucker?
00:33:20You know what I mean?
00:33:20That's like me going to a Klan rally.
00:33:22How you crackers doing?
00:33:24And expect not to get hung the fuck up.
00:33:30We killing so much of each other, we done put the Klan out of business.
00:33:35That's why you don't see the Klan no more.
00:33:37They're like, well, damn it.
00:33:38We used to hang one darkie a week.
00:33:41They're doing 15 every 15 minutes.
00:33:45Tankersheets off.
00:33:46It's all over.
00:33:49We're going to have to call ourselves the Tea Party.
00:33:53Because you know the Tea Party ain't nothing but the Klan in street clothes.
00:34:05And I always had that one brother at they rally they put on the news.
00:34:12And I know y'all be saying the same shit.
00:34:14You sitting at home like, where did they find this motherfucker?
00:34:16He always got scars on his head and shit.
00:34:20This is a good rally.
00:34:22They're doing good things.
00:34:25And I said, where did they find this homeless ass nigga to get it?
00:34:28They done bought this nigga a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
00:34:31And then good.
00:34:34Good rally.
00:34:34The Mexicans and Chinese are out-fucking us.
00:34:43You ain't going to out-fuck them Chinese.
00:34:45It's 1.6 billion of them motherfuckers.
00:34:48And they women always act like they don't fuck.
00:34:51Oh no, I just meet.
00:34:56How the fuck is it 1.6 billion of y'all if y'all ain't fucking?
00:34:59That's because they fuck quick.
00:35:02They just be like, take it out!
00:35:08You know what I mean?
00:35:09They don't even get into it.
00:35:10They just, take it out!
00:35:13Now we go back in the workout.
00:35:14They trying to tell our Mexican brothers and sisters
00:35:29that they need to stay away from the border.
00:35:33I don't understand that
00:35:37when California is Mexico.
00:35:40Listen to the name of it.
00:35:45California.
00:35:47San Diego.
00:35:48San Francisco.
00:35:49San Jose.
00:35:50If it starts with San, it's Mexican.
00:35:57Ain't no cities called William Brookshire.
00:36:02You know what I mean?
00:36:02Had audacity to call a Mexican a wetback.
00:36:05They crossed a river.
00:36:08White people, y'all came on a boat.
00:36:10Crossed an ocean.
00:36:14So if they back is motherfucking wet,
00:36:16you dipped.
00:36:21I always tell them about my country.
00:36:24White people, this ain't y'all country.
00:36:27Y'all annexed it.
00:36:29You stole it from the Indians.
00:36:32I know you said you discovered it.
00:36:36You know how to use them slick-ass words.
00:36:38We discovered it!
00:36:40How you discover some shit a motherfucker already live at?
00:36:51Using that analogy, when I get off stage,
00:36:53I'm going to discover somebody's car.
00:36:58Police like, did you steal it?
00:36:59No, I discovered it.
00:37:00I gave the indigenous driver a reservation in the trunk.
00:37:10Nigga, look.
00:37:10Look.
00:37:11My man, LeBron James, you know, the brother went to Miami, you know, which he has all right to do.
00:37:26You know, it's called free agency.
00:37:30The first word is free.
00:37:33That nigga's free.
00:37:37Them white people in Cleveland got all mad, burning the nigga's jersey, doing little statues of him, sitting on fire.
00:37:42Like, he play basketball.
00:37:44This ain't a politician that can change your life.
00:37:47He dribble.
00:37:47He done.
00:37:49He done.
00:37:50Yay.
00:37:54You know what I mean?
00:37:54I just want an hour of my life back.
00:37:57It shouldn't have took him an hour.
00:37:59You know, he just sat there.
00:38:00I'm going to South Beach.
00:38:13Nigga.
00:38:16You big motherfucking.
00:38:24If I wasn't a Christian.
00:38:25And you can tell him I said it, shit.
00:38:33You know what I mean?
00:38:34The reason I heard that he left is because one of the dudes on the team was sleeping with his mama.
00:38:43Y'all heard that shit, too?
00:38:45I found out when I did the show in Cleveland.
00:38:48The audience told me.
00:38:51I said, is it true?
00:38:52They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:38:54We all knew.
00:38:54We all knew.
00:38:56I'm like, are y'all wondering why he gave y'all the finger and left?
00:39:00He from his, y'all his hometown.
00:39:02Y'all love the nigga.
00:39:03Somebody should have came up to the brother.
00:39:06Hey, uh.
00:39:08You know when you delivering that bad, bad news, you gotta.
00:39:12Hey, uh.
00:39:15Hey, you know my man and your mama.
00:39:21I just thought I'd let you know, nigga.
00:39:23I just thought I'd let you know.
00:39:24And what's the nigga name that did it?
00:39:29Dante West.
00:39:31That's some fucked up shit.
00:39:32Cause that nigga, uh, when he play against LeBron, he can get in that nigga's head.
00:39:38He being that nigga, hey, LeBron.
00:39:40You know me and your mom.
00:39:49You know what I mean?
00:39:49You know what I mean?
00:39:51That's like me and Chris Rock doing a movie together and he's sleeping with my mama.
00:39:56I'ma have to rock Chris Rock.
00:40:02You don't fuck moms.
00:40:04Mom's off living.
00:40:05You can fuck my sister.
00:40:08You know what I mean?
00:40:08She grown.
00:40:09She want to give you some pussy.
00:40:10Hey.
00:40:11But you don't put your dick in where I came out.
00:40:15My man, Michael Vick, doing his thing, ain't he?
00:40:31You understand me?
00:40:32You can't keep a brother down.
00:40:34They put that boy in the game.
00:40:36The rest is history.
00:40:37You understand me?
00:40:38And I don't know why they did that brother the way they did him about some damn dogs.
00:40:43He had some pet bulls.
00:40:44Now here's the shit that fuck with me.
00:40:47There's a dog fight going on.
00:40:48He three states away.
00:40:50He ain't even at the house and they lock him up.
00:40:52And his cousins ain't shit.
00:40:59You stand at his house for free.
00:41:02You there when the dog fight go down and the bus come.
00:41:05One of them supposed to take the rap.
00:41:08Is this Michael Vick?
00:41:09No, this me.
00:41:10They just slapped him on the wrist.
00:41:12$150,000 fine.
00:41:13They want to make an example out of motherfucking Vick.
00:41:18They want every black man to have an athrus.
00:41:22Kofi O'Brien.
00:41:23Great white bitch.
00:41:25Michael Jordan.
00:41:26Gambleed.
00:41:28Michael Vick.
00:41:28Dog fight.
00:41:31Eddie Griffin.
00:41:32Said nigga.
00:41:44Tricky white people.
00:41:47Y'all love dogs more than y'all love human beings.
00:41:50I watch out.
00:41:52You see white people, they see a straight dog.
00:41:54You see them, they be like, where's your home?
00:41:57What's your name?
00:41:59Let me read your tag.
00:42:01You have a number.
00:42:01We're going to call your master.
00:42:03We're going to find your home.
00:42:05A homeless dude walk up.
00:42:07Can I get some change?
00:42:08Get away from me, you bum.
00:42:11Don't lock this brother up about a dog.
00:42:13It's called a pet bull.
00:42:14They bred to fight.
00:42:15The dog wants to fight.
00:42:17The dog's sitting in the backyard.
00:42:19I want to fuck something up.
00:42:21You know what I'm saying?
00:42:22I ain't no poodle.
00:42:22What the fuck you got me back here for?
00:42:24Man, we'll bring that bitch on.
00:42:26I'll fuck that motherfucker up.
00:42:29You understand me?
00:42:30They ain't trying to stop a rodeo.
00:42:32White people go to rodeo.
00:42:33You got motherfucking shocks
00:42:34on the goddamn bull's nuts
00:42:36to make it hop around.
00:42:38Oh, that's humane.
00:42:41Shut them rodeos down.
00:42:42I'll stop fighting my motherfucking dogs.
00:42:45I'm from the Midwest.
00:42:46We fight dogs.
00:42:53Still having cockfights, ain't you?
00:42:56You motherfuckers.
00:42:58If I wasn't a Christian.
00:43:03Drink up, y'all.
00:43:06It's Saturday.
00:43:11Spoken like a true alcoholic.
00:43:14You know, alcoholics come up
00:43:15with any reason to drink.
00:43:16Why you drinking?
00:43:17It's Saturday.
00:43:20Why you drinking?
00:43:21It's Sunday.
00:43:21Jesus had wine at the last supper.
00:43:25It's Monday.
00:43:25First day back at the job.
00:43:29It's Tuesday.
00:43:30Kids getting on my goddamn nerve.
00:43:33It's Wednesday.
00:43:35Honk day.
00:43:37It's Thursday.
00:43:39Almost Friday.
00:43:42It's Friday.
00:43:43Thank God.
00:43:46It's Saturday.
00:43:48That's what I'm saying.
00:43:56Get fucked up.
00:43:58Be somebody else.
00:43:58You know what I mean?
00:44:03You got a slave for another motherfucker
00:44:04on the job all week long.
00:44:07Saturday, get hit, man.
00:44:08Get faded and be somebody else.
00:44:10They be like, who are you?
00:44:11I'm a Michael Jackson.
00:44:14Till Sunday.
00:44:15And in case you were wondering,
00:44:30hey, what you drinking, Ed?
00:44:32It's called the liquid blunt.
00:44:33You know what I'm saying?
00:44:38It's Vaux Clicquot Champagne.
00:44:40Give you the same high as a blunt.
00:44:42You don't go up.
00:44:43You don't go down.
00:44:43You maintain.
00:44:46You understand?
00:44:46Me and police pull me over.
00:44:47They can't say,
00:44:48uh, you have some weed on you?
00:44:50I don't.
00:44:55And it's called Vaux Clicquot.
00:44:57It's actually the first champagne ever created.
00:45:00Because I research anything I put in my temple.
00:45:03All right?
00:45:04And it's some French shit.
00:45:07So for those of you who are talking that shit,
00:45:08I hate the French.
00:45:10Uh, fuck you.
00:45:12I like the French.
00:45:13If you hate the French,
00:45:14dig up the Statue of Liberty
00:45:15and send that bitch back.
00:45:16They made her.
00:45:17If you hate the French,
00:45:19keep your tongue in your mouth when you kiss
00:45:20because it's called a French kiss.
00:45:22It ain't called a ragneck kiss.
00:45:25And put the croissant down, nigga,
00:45:27because that's French too.
00:45:29I like the French.
00:45:30Oui, oui, très bon.
00:45:31Je m'appelle Edouard.
00:45:36You never know what a nigga know.
00:45:39And if you're Japanese,
00:45:40ganga, daska, domia, ragato.
00:45:42Mushy, motion.
00:45:43And if you're Chinese,
00:45:47ni hao, ma.
00:45:49Sheshani.
00:45:50Wa'ani.
00:45:56But this is the liquid blunt.
00:45:59Now, he named it after his wife.
00:46:02Now, if you buy a bottle of the shit,
00:46:03it costs $45 at Costco.
00:46:07I don't get it twisted.
00:46:08I don't give a fuck how much money I got.
00:46:10I'm frugal and a motherfucker.
00:46:11Shit, you don't stay rich
00:46:14by spending the shit, nigga.
00:46:17$45.
00:46:19You see them fools in them damn videos,
00:46:22nigga, $500 for a bottle of crystal
00:46:24at a strip club.
00:46:25Nigga, I ain't paying $500 for nothing.
00:46:28Suck my dick.
00:46:31$45.
00:46:33And the shit is good.
00:46:34But he named it after his wife.
00:46:41You buy a bottle,
00:46:42there's a picture of her on the cap.
00:46:44Now, when you look at the picture
00:46:46of this fat, ugly bitch,
00:46:47you will figure out
00:46:49why he created a drink.
00:46:52He's like,
00:46:53I need a drink
00:46:53for I fuck your fat ragged ass.
00:46:56I need some bubbles
00:46:57for my troubles.
00:46:58I just finished
00:47:05my second DUI.
00:47:08I ain't trying to get a third
00:47:09because you know California law.
00:47:11You get that third one.
00:47:12It's an automatic year
00:47:13in the penitentiary area.
00:47:16I ain't trying to go to jail
00:47:18without no drinking
00:47:19because you get to jail,
00:47:20ain't no drinking.
00:47:21I remember I was rolling out, man.
00:47:28I'm coming down Sunset
00:47:29in L.A. one night.
00:47:31And I was high
00:47:32in the motherfucker.
00:47:35I had a couple of this,
00:47:37you know.
00:47:39I'm doing me.
00:47:41You know,
00:47:41and I think I'm doing good.
00:47:43You know, I'm whipping it.
00:47:45And you know, brothers,
00:47:46we drive with one eye
00:47:47and the rear view mirror
00:47:48and the other one on the road
00:47:49to make sure
00:47:50Popo ain't behind.
00:47:52So I'm doing my shit
00:47:54and I seen the lights.
00:47:56I didn't know
00:47:57I was in the car chase
00:47:58for about five minutes.
00:48:01I'm that high.
00:48:02I seen the lights
00:48:03and in my head,
00:48:04I'm like,
00:48:04it's Christmas already?
00:48:07They got all these lights and shit.
00:48:09I didn't know
00:48:10until a cop car
00:48:11pulled in front of me
00:48:12and cut me the fuck off
00:48:13and pulled me over.
00:48:15And that's when you try
00:48:16to get sober quick.
00:48:17You're like,
00:48:17You know how you do.
00:48:21Shit, I got this.
00:48:23All right,
00:48:24let me get this shit
00:48:24off of me, nigga.
00:48:26That over there,
00:48:27stash pocket bowl.
00:48:28Clap.
00:48:29And you got to pull
00:48:30the wallet out
00:48:31if you a black man.
00:48:32You don't want to get caught
00:48:33reaching.
00:48:34They shoot us.
00:48:34He was reaching for something.
00:48:36Nigga, I be having
00:48:37my wallet out.
00:48:38ID's you on.
00:48:38Clap, clap.
00:48:40Window already down.
00:48:41I'm ready for you.
00:48:42Come on.
00:48:42Come on.
00:48:42And the motherfucker
00:48:45asked me some stupid shit.
00:48:47He said,
00:48:48Would you like
00:48:50to step out of the car?
00:48:54I said,
00:48:54Well, since it's
00:48:55a yes or no answer,
00:48:57no, I would not
00:48:58like to step out of the car.
00:49:01That's when they
00:49:01snatched little motherfucker out.
00:49:07Then they try to make you
00:49:08do the gymnastic competition.
00:49:10You know, touch your nose,
00:49:12spin around,
00:49:13do a straight line.
00:49:13I said,
00:49:14Hold on, man.
00:49:16Didn't you just
00:49:17pull me over
00:49:17for a reason?
00:49:20Now, why the hell
00:49:21you want a nigga
00:49:21moonwalking and shit?
00:49:24He's like,
00:49:24Eddie, so you're saying
00:49:25you're drunk?
00:49:26I said,
00:49:27No, your honor.
00:49:29I mean, officer.
00:49:32I ain't drunk.
00:49:34I'm fucked up.
00:49:38There is a difference.
00:49:40I can drive drunk.
00:49:43I'm fucked up.
00:49:44That's why I thought
00:49:44I was going straight.
00:49:49That motherfucker said,
00:49:51So you're that comedian?
00:49:52I said,
00:49:52Yep, that's why I'm funny.
00:49:54What the fuck
00:49:54you doing in that monkey suit?
00:49:57He's like,
00:49:58He's funny in real life.
00:49:59I said,
00:49:59Look, man.
00:50:01He's like,
00:50:01Eddie, I'm going to do you
00:50:02a favor.
00:50:02You going to let a brother go?
00:50:03Nope, not going to do that.
00:50:05I said,
00:50:06Well, what the fuck
00:50:06is it then?
00:50:07He said,
00:50:08I was wondering
00:50:09if I could take a picture
00:50:10with you for my son
00:50:11and my kids.
00:50:12I said,
00:50:12Motherfucker,
00:50:13you let a nigga go?
00:50:14We can take pictures
00:50:14all night.
00:50:19That's when they said,
00:50:20Click, click.
00:50:21Now, they sat my black ass
00:50:24on the curb.
00:50:26Sunset Boulevard, nigga.
00:50:29Fans driving by.
00:50:30You know how motherfuckers are, nigga.
00:50:34They don't know,
00:50:35you know what I mean?
00:50:36Nigga, I entertain,
00:50:36but I'm a real motherfucker.
00:50:39I'm on the corner,
00:50:40click, click,
00:50:40and nigga's riding by.
00:50:41Hey, hey, what up?
00:50:44I'm like,
00:50:44Nigga, I can't wave back.
00:50:47Nigga, you love a nigga
00:50:48that much pull over?
00:50:50Help me.
00:50:54Nigga, I'm fucked up.
00:50:55I can't talk for myself.
00:50:57Explain to this motherfucker.
00:51:00Nigga, this motherfucker
00:51:01put me in the car.
00:51:04I'm in the back.
00:51:05It's an uncomfortable ride.
00:51:06You know,
00:51:07and they got the shit on tight.
00:51:08Nigga, he's back there.
00:51:09Nigga, this motherfucker.
00:51:11And you can't get comfortable shit.
00:51:13And I'm sitting in the back.
00:51:14I'm so fucked up.
00:51:17I'm still clowning.
00:51:18It was a white dude
00:51:20and a fat female white cop.
00:51:26And I'm sitting in the back.
00:51:27I looked at her fat, funky ass.
00:51:31Y'all know my mouth, nigga.
00:51:34Some people can edit.
00:51:35It just fly out.
00:51:38That's what my mama said.
00:51:39You know Eddie telling the truth.
00:51:40that nigga thinking
00:51:41it'd fly out his motherfucking mouth.
00:51:43I looked at her ass, nigga.
00:51:45I said, shit,
00:51:45I ain't never seen
00:51:47a police uniform
00:51:48with stretch marks on it.
00:51:55Her partner is sitting behind
00:51:57her motherfucking.
00:51:58He's like,
00:51:58this motherfucker
00:51:59is crazy for real.
00:52:04They got me down
00:52:05to the station.
00:52:06That's when they handcuffed you
00:52:07to that little bench.
00:52:09So I'm on that wooden bench, nigga,
00:52:10and I'm clowning this fat bitch.
00:52:12The night watchman
00:52:13jumped off the den
00:52:14and said,
00:52:14put that ignorant motherfucker
00:52:16in the cage.
00:52:18They locked me up
00:52:19in that motherfucker.
00:52:20It's a Friday night.
00:52:22Brothers, y'all know
00:52:23what I'm talking about.
00:52:24You there for the weekend.
00:52:28I don't know
00:52:28if you've been to jail
00:52:29for no reason.
00:52:29They done took out
00:52:30all the TVs.
00:52:31They took the weights out.
00:52:33They literally in there
00:52:34curling little niggas.
00:52:38Nigga, they make you
00:52:39put your legs together tight
00:52:40and they curl
00:52:40these little motherfuckers.
00:52:42Nigga, I was so tired
00:52:43of getting curled, nigga.
00:52:47Nigga, I got in that motherfucker.
00:52:49They stuck me in the cell
00:52:50with the crip
00:52:51of the century.
00:52:55I got in there.
00:52:56That motherfucker
00:52:56was dipped
00:52:57blue-doo-doo-doo-doo.
00:52:58I said,
00:53:00they put me in
00:53:00with the Smurf.
00:53:04Every other word
00:53:05is like,
00:53:06what up, cub?
00:53:07What's going on, cub?
00:53:08What's your name
00:53:08about cub?
00:53:14Now, y'all know
00:53:14I'm from Kansas City,
00:53:15Missouri, right?
00:53:17This is when
00:53:18I'm first getting to L.A.
00:53:19Nigga, I'm like,
00:53:20blood's in the hood
00:53:21and all that shit
00:53:22wasn't on TV yet.
00:53:24I'm sitting there,
00:53:25cub, cub.
00:53:26I'm like,
00:53:26we related?
00:53:29Cub.
00:53:29Nigga, he's like,
00:53:30nah, cub.
00:53:30You know what I'm saying?
00:53:31Cub.
00:53:33And the nigga
00:53:34kept doing
00:53:34this kind of shit.
00:53:37I'm like,
00:53:37these niggas in L.A.
00:53:38is a bunch of
00:53:39deaf mutes out here.
00:53:44Nigga, I'm like,
00:53:45I don't speak that shit.
00:53:47All I know
00:53:48is this and that.
00:53:57He like,
00:53:57nigga, ain't you
00:53:58Eddie Griffin, cub?
00:53:58Ain't you
00:53:59Eddie Griffin, cub?
00:54:00I'm like,
00:54:01yeah, motherfucker,
00:54:01you fucking my high up.
00:54:04Cub.
00:54:05Nigga,
00:54:05then the nigga
00:54:05start dancing on me, nigga.
00:54:08I look at that nigga,
00:54:12I said,
00:54:12nigga, teach me that.
00:54:18Like, nigga,
00:54:19let me see that shit.
00:54:21So I got to
00:54:22hollering at the little nigga
00:54:23as the nigga
00:54:23high start coming down.
00:54:24I said, nigga,
00:54:25why y'all do that shit?
00:54:27Like, you know, cub.
00:54:28You know, cub.
00:54:30I'm like, nigga,
00:54:31I'm from Kansas City,
00:54:32Missouri, nigga.
00:54:32I grew up,
00:54:33we didn't have no gangs.
00:54:35Nigga be like,
00:54:35nigga, what's your gang?
00:54:36Self.
00:54:38The older brothers in here
00:54:40know what I'm talking about.
00:54:41Back in the day,
00:54:42you had yourself.
00:54:43You got a gang, nigga,
00:54:44me, myself, and I.
00:54:47Your partner showed up
00:54:49to make sure
00:54:49his partners didn't jump in.
00:54:51Whoever you got beef with,
00:54:52nigga,
00:54:53mano, mano,
00:54:54head up, nigga,
00:54:54what up, nigga?
00:54:58If you get your ass whooped,
00:55:00go to the gym
00:55:01and practice.
00:55:05That nigga had that left whooped,
00:55:06got to keep that right up,
00:55:07got to keep that right up.
00:55:08Come with it, nigga.
00:55:16Because we being so soft
00:55:18with our kids nowadays,
00:55:19man, this shit get on my nerves.
00:55:21They locking parents up
00:55:22because the kid had a fight at school.
00:55:26You know what I mean?
00:55:26What kind of,
00:55:27we raising little bitch-ass motherfuckers?
00:55:30Nigga,
00:55:30a fight is in God's plan.
00:55:33You post a fight as a kid.
00:55:34That lets you know
00:55:35what you fit in on the food chain.
00:55:37You thought you was Billy Badass.
00:55:40Then you ran into
00:55:42Billy Badass.
00:55:45Billy Badass whooped that ass.
00:55:47you figure out
00:55:47I'm good at math.
00:55:57These motherfuckers nowadays, man,
00:56:00they get it 12 on 1.
00:56:03They nigga be bragging, nigga.
00:56:04We whooped his ass, nigga.
00:56:06We whooped his ass.
00:56:07You better have 12 on 1,
00:56:09you bitch-made motherfucker.
00:56:15You don't get no strikes for that, nigga.
00:56:20Motherfuckers are gone for zoic.
00:56:22You know what I mean?
00:56:23They don't even know
00:56:24Bloods and Crips started
00:56:25right here in Oakland.
00:56:27It's an offshoot of the Black Panthers.
00:56:30I'm going to teach y'all something tonight.
00:56:31When the feds came
00:56:32to break up the Black Panthers,
00:56:34you know,
00:56:34they shooting UEP
00:56:35and everybody up,
00:56:36you know,
00:56:36getting these niggas
00:56:36all doped up and shit
00:56:37because the movement
00:56:38was too strong.
00:56:40Two of the brothers
00:56:40went down to L.A.
00:56:42One went to Inglewood
00:56:43and started the Bloods,
00:56:45which meant
00:56:45if the police fuck
00:56:47with anybody on this block,
00:56:48we all blood,
00:56:49we all family,
00:56:49we stand together.
00:56:50All right?
00:56:52Another one went down
00:56:53to Compton,
00:56:54started the Crips.
00:56:55Crips stand for
00:56:56Community Resistance
00:56:57in Progress.
00:56:59If you fuck
00:56:59with anybody
00:57:00in this community,
00:57:01the community's got
00:57:01a resistance in progress,
00:57:03officer.
00:57:07You ask these little youngsters now,
00:57:09hey, what Crip mean?
00:57:09It mean Crip Cup.
00:57:13It mean Crip Cup.
00:57:15It mean Crip Cup.
00:57:17And what is this
00:57:18retarded walk, nigga?
00:57:20What the fuck
00:57:25is wrong with you, nigga?
00:57:27You just got out the zoo?
00:57:35Nigga, walk like
00:57:36a motherfucking man.
00:57:37What the fuck wrong with you?
00:57:39Some motherfucking animal, nigga.
00:57:45You playing white
00:57:46until the white man
00:57:47stereotype of us.
00:57:49You know what I mean?
00:57:51Chill the fuck out
00:57:52on that red and blue, nigga.
00:57:54You understand me?
00:57:56Nigga.
00:57:58I don't even understand, nigga.
00:58:00We both broke.
00:58:01You a blood,
00:58:02I'm a Crip.
00:58:02We broke.
00:58:05Come together like buttcheeks
00:58:06and be the shit.
00:58:14So I'm sitting in this cage,
00:58:15you know,
00:58:15I'm educating the little brother, right?
00:58:17And the brother was sagging.
00:58:20And I said,
00:58:21hey, brother,
00:58:21let me explain something to you.
00:58:22You know,
00:58:23my high done came off.
00:58:25And y'all know
00:58:26I get real cerebral
00:58:27when a nigga sober.
00:58:27I'm like,
00:58:28look, bro,
00:58:30I want to let you know
00:58:31where that sagging shit started.
00:58:32It started in the penitentiary area.
00:58:34Them fags in there
00:58:35would sag
00:58:36to advertise their ass.
00:58:38They get out of jail, nigga,
00:58:39and they put their drawers on
00:58:41still sagging,
00:58:42but try to play
00:58:43like they men.
00:58:44The kids thought
00:58:45the shit was slick
00:58:45and the kids start sagging.
00:58:47My son did that shit
00:58:49at age 16 years old.
00:58:50He 25 now,
00:58:51Eddie Jr.
00:58:51I'm in the house, nigga.
00:58:54I'm a single father.
00:58:55I'm cooking Eddie spaghetti.
00:58:59Because that's all the fuck
00:59:00I know how to cook
00:59:01other than a hot dog.
00:59:02But I can fuck
00:59:03some spaghetti up, nigga.
00:59:04I'll make an Italian
00:59:05move out of Italy
00:59:06up in this motherfucker.
00:59:09So, you know,
00:59:09I'm making my spaghetti.
00:59:10Junior walk in the door
00:59:11and he sagging.
00:59:13Nigga,
00:59:13I put the shit on Simmer.
00:59:20I said,
00:59:20Junior,
00:59:21grab a little seat
00:59:23right there
00:59:23on that bar stool.
00:59:25I said,
00:59:25What up, Pop?
00:59:25Oh, it's a lot up, nigga.
00:59:27And it's a lot down.
00:59:30I said,
00:59:30Nigga,
00:59:31grab yourself a beer.
00:59:32I can drink.
00:59:33Today you can.
00:59:36That nigga sat down.
00:59:38I explained the story to him.
00:59:40I said,
00:59:40Nigga,
00:59:41sagging started
00:59:41in the penitentiary area.
00:59:44Fags was advertising
00:59:45the crack of their ass.
00:59:48You sagging?
00:59:49Sagging is fagging.
00:59:50That nigga
00:59:55had on two belts.
00:59:57He was flirting
00:59:58like motherfucker.
01:00:03That nigga walking
01:00:04through the house,
01:00:04I ain't no bitch.
01:00:05I ain't no bitch.
01:00:07I said,
01:00:08that's my little nigga.
01:00:08Let's put this flame
01:00:09back on.
01:00:11Spaghetti be ready
01:00:12in a minute.
01:00:12Explain that to my
01:00:20little crib partner.
01:00:22I think he all right.
01:00:25And I'm saying
01:00:26that little nigga,
01:00:26that little homie
01:00:27walked up to him.
01:00:27He's like,
01:00:28Cuzz,
01:00:28that was proper,
01:00:29Cuzz.
01:00:31You know,
01:00:31he still had a little
01:00:32bit of the walk.
01:00:34But he straightened it
01:00:35up a lot.
01:00:40You know,
01:00:41I'm going to get him
01:00:41necked.
01:00:41We black men.
01:00:42We always got some
01:00:43flavor on our straw.
01:00:44You know.
01:00:45You know,
01:00:46you see a brother walk,
01:00:47he can damn near hear
01:00:48music.
01:00:48Because we walking
01:00:51in rhythm,
01:00:52moving in stride.
01:00:53Nigga,
01:00:53you be hearing,
01:00:53Every nigga got
01:00:57a soundtrack,
01:00:58nigga.
01:01:01You got some
01:01:02niggas like,
01:01:03You got some
01:01:10niggas like,
01:01:10You know,
01:01:13them head swinging
01:01:13niggas,
01:01:14they be walking,
01:01:14nigga,
01:01:14the head is.
01:01:17Remember Michael
01:01:18George and that
01:01:18nigga going down
01:01:19the court,
01:01:19nigga,
01:01:19the head is just
01:01:20about.
01:01:23White guys ain't
01:01:24got no rhythm
01:01:25three,
01:01:25four,
01:01:25five.
01:01:39Yeah,
01:01:44baby.
01:01:48Hell yeah.
01:01:50If you a little
01:01:51motherfucker my size,
01:01:52shut the fuck up.
01:01:54It's always them
01:01:55little barking
01:01:55motherfuckers,
01:01:56you know.
01:01:56Nigga,
01:01:57I'll fuck this
01:01:57whole place up.
01:01:58Nigga,
01:01:58nigga don't know me.
01:01:59Nigga,
01:01:59nigga don't know me.
01:02:00Nigga.
01:02:03All right.
01:02:06Shut your little
01:02:07ass up,
01:02:07man.
01:02:09You know what I mean?
01:02:10Because
01:02:10them ain't the
01:02:11scary ones.
01:02:13The quiet
01:02:14motherfuckers.
01:02:15That's who you
01:02:16watch.
01:02:17Them the killers.
01:02:19You know,
01:02:19the loudest
01:02:20motherfucker in the
01:02:20club is a
01:02:21bitch.
01:02:23That nigga loud
01:02:24because he scared
01:02:24and he hoping
01:02:25scaring you.
01:02:26Nigga,
01:02:26you know what I'm
01:02:26saying?
01:02:27I'm fucking up.
01:02:28Is this scaring y'all
01:02:29because I'm scaring
01:02:29the motherfuckers?
01:02:35Real killers
01:02:36are quieting
01:02:37the motherfuckers.
01:02:38They don't dance,
01:02:39they sit in the
01:02:39club and hold the
01:02:40wall up and just
01:02:41be looking.
01:02:41You know,
01:02:44they constantly
01:02:44got a grit
01:02:45on their face.
01:02:51Niggas do a
01:02:52slow stroll
01:02:52through the
01:02:53club and
01:02:54they praying
01:02:55the whole
01:02:55time.
01:02:56God,
01:02:57don't let me
01:02:58kill nobody
01:02:58else today.
01:03:03And then
01:03:04somebody step
01:03:05on his shoe
01:03:05and he be like.
01:03:06They try to
01:03:13let it slide
01:03:13but niggas
01:03:14like that
01:03:14can't.
01:03:16You on the
01:03:16dance floor
01:03:17and he'll
01:03:17walk up to
01:03:18you.
01:03:22Excuse it,
01:03:23bro.
01:03:24You know,
01:03:25you stepped
01:03:26on my shoes,
01:03:26you know.
01:03:28I was wondering
01:03:28if you apologize,
01:03:30you know.
01:03:31So I paid for
01:03:31mine just like
01:03:32you paid for
01:03:33yours,
01:03:33you know.
01:03:34So,
01:03:35you know,
01:03:35if you give
01:03:35your brother
01:03:36an apology,
01:03:36you know,
01:03:36we can go
01:03:37on and clean
01:03:38this zone up,
01:03:38you know what
01:03:39I'm saying?
01:03:40That nigga be like,
01:03:41nigga, fuck you
01:03:41and your shoes,
01:03:42old bitch-ass
01:03:43niggas.
01:03:49Why he tell
01:03:50this motherfucker
01:03:50that?
01:03:58That's when
01:03:59they get that
01:03:59walk, nigga.
01:04:03blue, blue, blue,
01:04:05blue, blue, blue.
01:04:07Club clearing out
01:04:08like roaches
01:04:08when the light
01:04:09come on.
01:04:10That motherfucker
01:04:11walk out,
01:04:12don't nobody
01:04:12know what happened.
01:04:13He's still praying.
01:04:14God,
01:04:15I told you,
01:04:17you know how I am.
01:04:20You go on and
01:04:21sort him out
01:04:21because he wasn't
01:04:22cool down here.
01:04:28As my grandfather
01:04:30said,
01:04:30there's certain
01:04:31people that
01:04:31deserve a whole
01:04:32lot of leave alone.
01:04:37Who?
01:04:39Hey, my dear,
01:04:40happy birthday,
01:04:41baby.
01:04:50Happy birthday
01:04:52to you.
01:04:55Happy birthday
01:04:58to you.
01:05:02Happy birthday,
01:05:03dear mama.
01:05:15We appreciate you, baby.
01:05:18Yes, indeed.
01:05:19Ask everybody,
01:05:20mama, shit.
01:05:22You know what I mean?
01:05:22That's how that shit
01:05:23supposed to go, man.
01:05:24I be seeing some of
01:05:24these little young
01:05:25motherfuckers
01:05:25and they see one
01:05:27and they're elders
01:05:27going across the street.
01:05:28Man, get your old
01:05:29ass out the way.
01:05:32Y'all see that shit?
01:05:33Beat the dog shit
01:05:34out that motherfucker.
01:05:37You got the right
01:05:38to rap, run around
01:05:39and do all your
01:05:39dumb shit
01:05:40because sisters like her
01:05:41and brothers her age
01:05:42that put it down.
01:05:46You see your elders,
01:05:47nigga, help her
01:05:48across the street.
01:05:50Help his ass
01:05:51across the street.
01:05:52I don't make you
01:05:53no damn man.
01:05:54You little buck-ass
01:05:55motherfucker.
01:05:55Some of these
01:05:57little retarded
01:05:57motherfuckers
01:05:58get on my
01:05:58goddamn nerve.
01:06:09I got nine kids
01:06:10that don't none of them
01:06:11want for shit.
01:06:13You know,
01:06:13I hear motherfuckers
01:06:14talking about child
01:06:15support on one kid.
01:06:16I just laugh.
01:06:17I'm like,
01:06:17that's it?
01:06:19Shit, nigga.
01:06:21Come to my world.
01:06:23Come to my world.
01:06:24shit.
01:06:27Two ex-wives,
01:06:28four-five baby mamas.
01:06:31My first-of-the-month
01:06:32calls is a motherfucker.
01:06:35Shit, I thought I was
01:06:45pimping.
01:06:45I'm doing shows
01:06:46for them.
01:06:47They pimping the shit
01:06:49out my black ass.
01:06:49Nigga, go do some shows.
01:06:50I bet you they get
01:06:55together and huddle,
01:06:55nigga.
01:06:56I get a movie.
01:06:56They be like,
01:06:57come on, girl.
01:06:58We got a movie.
01:07:06But I wouldn't trade
01:07:07one of my babies in
01:07:08to save my
01:07:09motherfucking life.
01:07:10Because really,
01:07:17at the end of life,
01:07:18that's all you
01:07:18motherfucking leave.
01:07:20You don't take no money
01:07:21with you.
01:07:23You understand me?
01:07:23I ain't never seen a
01:07:24Brinks truck pull up
01:07:25to a funeral.
01:07:27The Egyptians tried
01:07:28to take the money
01:07:29with them.
01:07:30Ain't they digging
01:07:31them motherfuckers up?
01:07:34Now King Tut on tour.
01:07:35This dead motherfucker
01:07:36is still on tour.
01:07:48They work a nigga
01:07:49after death.
01:07:53And if they could
01:07:54legally get away
01:07:55with digging Michael up,
01:07:56that nigga be on tour
01:07:56too.
01:07:58Where's Michael?
01:07:59He's on tour.
01:08:01That nigga in the
01:08:01casket in the music
01:08:02play.
01:08:03Hee hee.
01:08:06That's why I smoke
01:08:14and I drink.
01:08:17Because when I'm dead,
01:08:18I don't want nobody
01:08:19walking by my casket
01:08:20talking about,
01:08:21damn, it look good.
01:08:23If I look good,
01:08:24I should still be
01:08:25motherfucking alive.
01:08:28I want a motherfucker
01:08:29walking by my casket
01:08:30and say,
01:08:30God damn!
01:08:32I see why
01:08:33that nigga dead.
01:08:33Look at him.
01:08:36Nigga, fuck that shit.
01:08:44It ain't the quality
01:08:46of life
01:08:46or the quantity,
01:08:48it's the quality.
01:08:50You understand me?
01:08:51Would you really want
01:08:52to live to be
01:08:53199 years old?
01:08:56Shitting on yourself.
01:08:59You come in the world
01:09:01in diapers.
01:09:01If you got to leave
01:09:02in the pens, nigga,
01:09:03you stayed too long.
01:09:04If it look like
01:09:09I'm about to shit
01:09:09on myself,
01:09:10unplug me, nigga.
01:09:14Because life
01:09:15is for the living.
01:09:17And motherfuckers
01:09:18that are alive
01:09:18and love you
01:09:19don't want to unplug you
01:09:20because they love you.
01:09:21Motherfucker,
01:09:22let me go.
01:09:23I said I'm tired.
01:09:25Now unplug this shit,
01:09:27nigga.
01:09:28I want to see
01:09:29what the next part
01:09:30look like.
01:09:31Because I know
01:09:32this ain't the end.
01:09:34Energy ain't dissipated,
01:09:35it's transfer.
01:09:37The spirit animates
01:09:38this clay
01:09:38we motherfucking trapped in.
01:09:41You understand me?
01:09:41Clay dropped the fuck down.
01:09:43My spirit going on
01:09:43to the next phase,
01:09:44nigga, now leave me
01:09:45fuck alone.
01:09:51You understand me?
01:09:52I had my fun.
01:09:55And some of you
01:09:56old motherfuckers
01:09:57ain't playing fair.
01:09:59You know,
01:09:59they got this new shit,
01:10:00Viagra.
01:10:02See, Alice,
01:10:03I think God
01:10:04put a ticking clock
01:10:05on the dick.
01:10:07Your dick
01:10:08supposed to be done
01:10:08right around
01:10:09the speed limit.
01:10:10ain't no need
01:10:20when you having
01:10:21no kids
01:10:22after 55.
01:10:22Your ass ain't
01:10:23going to be here
01:10:24when they get
01:10:24out of school.
01:10:26Now play fair,
01:10:27put the pill down,
01:10:28shut your dick up.
01:10:30Because a young
01:10:31motherfucker
01:10:31supposed to be
01:10:32our turn
01:10:32to get some
01:10:33damn pussy,
01:10:34motherfucker.
01:10:35Old nigga
01:10:35already established
01:10:36he got a business,
01:10:37he got a motherfucking
01:10:37Rolls Royce,
01:10:38he getting all
01:10:39the young pussy
01:10:40and the young nigga
01:10:40like this.
01:10:41But baby,
01:10:41what, you know.
01:10:43She like,
01:10:43you ain't got no car,
01:10:44I'm going with
01:10:45Sugar Daddy.
01:10:48You old niggas
01:10:49put your old
01:10:49rankled up
01:10:50monster up.
01:10:53And you know
01:10:54them old niggas
01:10:54be cheating,
01:10:55nigga,
01:10:55right now
01:10:55they popping
01:10:56they pill
01:10:56because they know
01:10:57the show
01:10:57almost over.
01:11:01Because they know
01:11:02it take an hour
01:11:03for it to kick in.
01:11:05I'm going to be
01:11:06ready for you
01:11:07after this show
01:11:07with y'all.
01:11:09and be ready for you.
01:11:13Hey, I'll drop it
01:11:14like it's hot.
01:11:14Drop it like it's hot.
01:11:27Nigga,
01:11:28if y'all think
01:11:28I'm funny,
01:11:29my grandfather
01:11:30is the funniest
01:11:30motherfucker
01:11:31outside of
01:11:32Richard Pryor
01:11:32I ever met.
01:11:33My granddaddy
01:11:34would sit on the
01:11:35front porch
01:11:35she'd be like,
01:11:36looky here.
01:11:38I like young hoes.
01:11:40I said,
01:11:41young hoes?
01:11:41He's like,
01:11:42yeah, nigga,
01:11:42if you're catching
01:11:43with something
01:11:43over 27,
01:11:44I'm holding it
01:11:45for the police.
01:11:45All I can show
01:11:51a 30-year-old bitch
01:11:52is where
01:11:52the old folks
01:11:53home is.
01:11:55You know
01:11:55how many dicks
01:11:56she done seen
01:11:57in 30 years,
01:11:58Eddie?
01:11:59I like
01:12:00young hoes.
01:12:02He said,
01:12:03Eddie,
01:12:03I had one
01:12:04so young
01:12:04last night
01:12:05when I got done
01:12:06I had the burble.
01:12:07I had the burble.
01:12:10I had the burble.
01:12:11I couldn't even
01:12:19call him
01:12:19a dirty old man.
01:12:20I was like,
01:12:22huh?
01:12:25Because the nigga
01:12:25explained to me,
01:12:26he said,
01:12:27there's one thing
01:12:27an old motherfucker
01:12:28don't want
01:12:29and that's
01:12:30an old bitch.
01:12:32Two old motherfuckers
01:12:33don't go together.
01:12:34Dust flying everywhere.
01:12:41don't go.
01:12:42Hey, baby.
01:12:44I had to come
01:12:45to the yay area.
01:12:53Because I know
01:12:54up here
01:12:55y'all motherfuckers
01:12:56is sharp.
01:12:58You know what I mean?
01:12:59And you still
01:13:00street at the same time.
01:13:01So you,
01:13:02you know what I mean?
01:13:03You actually see
01:13:04niggas with books
01:13:05up here.
01:13:09You know what I mean?
01:13:10If you want to
01:13:11stop motherfuckers
01:13:12from dealing dope
01:13:12on your block
01:13:13on the corner,
01:13:14walk up
01:13:15and hand them
01:13:15niggas a book.
01:13:16Watch them run.
01:13:19Hey, what's wrong
01:13:20with that nigga
01:13:20trying to get me
01:13:21to read?
01:13:24All these words
01:13:25and stuff.
01:13:34Yeah,
01:13:34they say
01:13:34white people
01:13:35are scared
01:13:36of a nigga
01:13:36with a gun.
01:13:37Not at it.
01:13:38When they see
01:13:38your ass
01:13:39with a gun,
01:13:39here's what they do.
01:13:40Gotcha.
01:13:41He'll be in jail soon.
01:13:43They see your ass
01:13:44with a book,
01:13:45try this shit
01:13:46because I do it
01:13:46all the time.
01:13:47Go to Starbucks
01:13:49or one of them
01:13:49little, you know,
01:13:50coffee shop shits.
01:13:51Sit down with a book.
01:13:53White person
01:13:53sitting over there,
01:13:54they can't resist it.
01:13:55Nigga,
01:13:55they just be like,
01:13:56we're too green.
01:13:57We're too green.
01:13:58We're too green.
01:13:59We're too green.
01:14:01We're too green.
01:14:03We're too green.
01:14:05We're too green.
01:14:07We're too green.
01:14:08We're too green.
01:14:09They have to get up,
01:14:11nigga.
01:14:12They...
01:14:12Hello.
01:14:14What are you reading?
01:14:17What are you reading?
01:14:18Hello.
01:14:18What are you reading?
01:14:24And I fuck with them.
01:14:26How to kill white people.
01:14:27Get a book, man.
01:14:43Reading is fun to mental.
01:14:45Fun to mental.
01:14:48Think it ain't illegal yet.
01:14:58But they working on it.
01:15:03I want the young motherfuckers
01:15:06in here tonight,
01:15:07no matter what your nationality is,
01:15:09turn the motherfucking TV off
01:15:11for one week
01:15:12and see if you can survive.
01:15:16Motherfuckers are going to a
01:15:18television junkie motherfucking mode.
01:15:20Nigga, ain't no TV.
01:15:22I need my remote, nigga.
01:15:24I'm Jones.
01:15:25Nigga, it's called
01:15:26tele-vision programming.
01:15:31They telling you visually
01:15:32to program.
01:15:33You being programmed, nigga.
01:15:35You watching it on the news.
01:15:36It was on CNN.
01:15:37It's true.
01:15:40I seen it on Fox.
01:15:41It's real.
01:15:42It's bullshit.
01:15:49You know Obama ain't running shit.
01:15:52Pop it on the screen.
01:15:54That nigga ran for office
01:15:56and said,
01:15:56I'm going to stop both wars.
01:16:02Didn't he just send
01:16:0360,000 more troops
01:16:05to Afghanistan?
01:16:06He took them out of Iraq.
01:16:08Them niggas thought
01:16:08they was going home.
01:16:09Shit, nigga, the war over.
01:16:10We going home.
01:16:12He like,
01:16:12no, over there.
01:16:22That's some fucked up shit.
01:16:24They wise and shit,
01:16:25family thinking
01:16:26these motherfuckers
01:16:27coming home, nigga,
01:16:27they get shipped
01:16:28to a new war.
01:16:29And you know
01:16:30these wars is about what?
01:16:33Money, money, money, money.
01:16:35Now, Iraq,
01:16:36we annexed that country.
01:16:38You know,
01:16:38took the oil, nigga.
01:16:39Now, if no thing you know
01:16:40about American motherfucking history,
01:16:42wherever we land,
01:16:42we don't leave.
01:16:44We already got three bases,
01:16:46permanent bases in Iraq.
01:16:47We still in Vietnam,
01:16:48still in motherfucking Korea,
01:16:50still got a base in Japan.
01:16:51Everywhere we land,
01:16:52we don't leave.
01:16:55You know what I mean?
01:16:56I thought it was called
01:16:57the United States of America,
01:16:58not the United Empire of Earth.
01:17:00You will do as I say.
01:17:06How the fuck
01:17:07we gonna go over to Iraq
01:17:08and tell them
01:17:08we giving these people freedom?
01:17:09They didn't ask for it.
01:17:11Wasn't no Iraqis over there.
01:17:12Come on over here.
01:17:13We want to vote.
01:17:15Them motherfuckers
01:17:16was chilling.
01:17:20Now we all in Afghanistan.
01:17:21You know what we there for.
01:17:24Opium.
01:17:24The 90% of the world's opium
01:17:28comes from
01:17:29holiday, boy.
01:17:38Now, in the Buddhist religion,
01:17:40they smoke opium.
01:17:43There's 1.6 billion Chinese.
01:17:46In order to control China,
01:17:49you must control
01:17:50opium.
01:17:52China owns 90%
01:17:55of our debt.
01:17:57Welcome
01:17:57to China.
01:18:01Learn the language
01:18:02Ni hao ma.
01:18:07Xie xie ni.
01:18:11The Chinese
01:18:12ain't to be fucked with.
01:18:14One Bruce Lee
01:18:15would fuck up
01:18:16this whole room.
01:18:171.6 billion
01:18:21Bruce Lee's?
01:18:22Nigga,
01:18:23leave him alone.
01:18:26Oh, America
01:18:26know who to attack?
01:18:27You ain't never seen
01:18:28him go fuck with China.
01:18:30Remember,
01:18:30China had one
01:18:31of our motherfuckers
01:18:32as students
01:18:33in Tiananmen Square
01:18:34beating the shit out of him
01:18:35on national television
01:18:36with a bamboo
01:18:37motherfucking stick.
01:18:39Did America
01:18:39go and attack?
01:18:40Nope.
01:18:41You know what they said?
01:18:42What is he doing
01:18:43over there?
01:18:43Somebody get his
01:18:47parents on the phone.
01:18:53Zett Bruce Lee
01:18:54was a bad motherfucker.
01:18:59Five foot seven,
01:19:01140 pounds,
01:19:04dynamite.
01:19:06You understand me?
01:19:07That motherfucker
01:19:08in the movie,
01:19:08you seen that motherfucker,
01:19:09he walk in a dojo.
01:19:10300 motherfuckers.
01:19:12Bruce walk in
01:19:13and you know,
01:19:16I love that nigga
01:19:16walk, nigga.
01:19:18He had a little walk.
01:19:24Oh, he was a chigger.
01:19:26A chigger,
01:19:27a Chinese nigga.
01:19:30That little motherfucker
01:19:31had some nigga in him, nigga.
01:19:34We can fight
01:19:40one at a time.
01:19:41all together.
01:19:48If you sitting
01:19:49in that dojo,
01:19:50you got to ask yourself
01:19:51two questions.
01:19:53Either he got a bomb
01:19:55on his ass
01:19:55or he's really
01:19:57a bad motherfucker.
01:19:59Neither one of them
01:20:00are good.
01:20:02And remember,
01:20:02the motherfucking teacher
01:20:03is always like,
01:20:04Wang,
01:20:04Wang,
01:20:05Wang,
01:20:05Wang,
01:20:06Wang.
01:20:07They run out there
01:20:09and get killed,
01:20:10nigga.
01:20:14Then he go
01:20:15with the second set.
01:20:16Bang,
01:20:16ching,
01:20:17ching chong,
01:20:17dang,
01:20:18wong,
01:20:18wong.
01:20:19Nigga,
01:20:20if I'm in that second set,
01:20:21I'd have been like,
01:20:22hey, hey,
01:20:22hold the fuck up.
01:20:25Then was your black belts.
01:20:27My shit is orange.
01:20:29You the teacher.
01:20:33Teach.
01:20:36Now,
01:20:37if you whoop his ass,
01:20:38I'll keep taking your class.
01:20:41If not,
01:20:41I'm about to study
01:20:42with that motherfucker.
01:20:44I'm Eddie Griffin.
01:20:45Y'all been wonderful.
01:20:46Good night.
01:20:46Good night.
01:20:46Good night.
01:20:47Vielen Dank.
01:21:17Vielen Dank.
01:21:47Vielen Dank.
01:22:17What?
Empfohlen
1:13:20
|
Als nächstes auf Sendung
1:23:02
1:32:40
1:38:38
2:27:39
2:10:09
1:41:36
1:11:00
1:49:38
1:28:08
1:42:11
1:23:11
1:27:42
2:10:03
1:55:56
1:24:18
1:34:02
1:52:12
1:28:04
1:55:13
1:27:57