- 2 days ago
When Joey goes to Hollywood to pursue his dream of being an actor, he meets his nephew Michael and ends up sharing a unique camaraderie with him.
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Okay, guys, family meeting.
00:03Oh, you think of me as family?
00:05Oh, hey, Alex, didn't see you there.
00:07Um, as you all know, my new show, Deep Powder, is premiering next week.
00:12My official unveiling is a big-time celebrity.
00:15And someone gets to come with me to the party as my guest.
00:18Just one of us?
00:19Unfortunately, this is such an exclusive event, I can only bring one person.
00:23We're gonna have a little competition.
00:24Each one of you is gonna give a speech and state your case.
00:27Now, whoever's most convincing will get to come with me.
00:30Who's gonna go first?
00:32Joey, you should pick me, because I've loved you, supported you,
00:36and Michael's socially awkward, and Alex can't hold a liquor.
00:41Good points, good points, okay.
00:44Who's next?
00:45All right, well, statistically...
00:47Thank you very much, Michael.
00:49You are the most wonderful man I've ever met.
00:59When I look into your eyes, I see the person that I want to be.
01:03You're my light when it's dark, my umbrella when it rains.
01:06I love you, Eric.
01:09Are those your wedding vows?
01:10Yeah, it was all I could think of to say.
01:12You know, I sing the next part.
01:14Thank you, Alex.
01:15Joey, this is silly.
01:18You know we all want to go.
01:19You shouldn't have to choose between us.
01:21Yeah, I mean, you're one of the stars.
01:23They might be able to bend the rules for you.
01:25Okay.
01:26You know what?
01:27I am the star of the show.
01:28I'm sure she'll give me the tickets.
01:29All right.
01:30This is so exciting.
01:31We're going to a big premiere.
01:32I know.
01:33It's gonna be great, huh?
01:34All right, but you know what?
01:35Let's set a couple of ground rules first, okay?
01:37No science talk.
01:40No autographs.
01:41You, no drinking.
01:43No cursing.
01:45No fighting.
01:46No spitting.
01:47No, you guys might want to go.
01:48We're going to be a while.
01:55Come on.
01:56Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:59Everything's gonna be all right.
02:01You wanna fight y'all, I talk.
02:02You wanna be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:05We're gonna fight y'all, I talk.
02:06You wanna be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:07We're gonna fight y'all, I talk.
02:08You wanna be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:09We're gonna fight y'all, I talk.
02:10You wanna be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:11We're gonna fight y'all, I talk.
02:12You wanna be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:13We're gonna fight y'all, I talk.
02:14You wanna be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:15We're gonna fight y'all, I talk.
02:16You wanna be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:17We're gonna fight y'all, I talk.
02:18You wanna be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:19We're gonna fight y'all, I talk.
02:20You wanna be all right, you gotta watch all.
02:22Got my tux.
02:23Got my tux.
02:27How are you doing with the tickets?
02:29Well, I'm not so good.
02:30I was going to call my boss a while ago,
02:32but I started playing Tetris, and I couldn't put it down.
02:35Check it out, though.
02:36I got to level two.
02:37That's not very good.
02:38Yeah, I don't understand the game.
02:45Hey, it's Joey Tribbiani calling for Lauren.
02:48Hi, Joey.
02:49Listen, I got some questions about the party.
02:51No, you cannot have extra tickets.
02:54All right, look, I didn't want to have to do this,
02:56but if you don't give me some more tickets,
02:57I'm going to cause some problems on stage.
02:59You already have.
03:00You're supposed to be here 30 minutes ago.
03:03Uh, well, I'm on my way.
03:04The light's green, buddy!
03:07Look, Lauren, come on, come on.
03:08I need some more tickets.
03:09It's important.
03:10Joey, the rules are simple.
03:12You get one non-transferable ticket,
03:13and you can bring one guest.
03:14That's it.
03:15Oh, can you hold on one second?
03:18Oh, I have to take this, Joey.
03:20Can you please hold?
03:21Sure, yeah, but then I have some more questions.
03:22What's about the party?
03:23Do they all involve tickets?
03:25No, one is a lengthy food request.
03:27No, no, just please hold.
03:31You know what?
03:31We broke up already.
03:32You can stop doing this.
03:33What?
03:34No.
03:35You know, I am so sad for you,
03:36because you are losing the most hygienic woman you'll ever be with.
03:41Why?
03:42Goodbye.
03:44Joey, I'm back.
03:46Wow.
03:47Either you press the wrong button,
03:48or you're holding music as a lady yelling at her boyfriend.
03:50Oh, my God, you heard that conversation?
03:54Oh, yeah.
03:55Hygienic girlfriend, huh?
03:56How's that play out in the bedroom?
03:58Oh, I had him use this medical-grade cleanser that...
04:00You know what?
04:01I don't talk about my private life with people that I work with.
04:04I cannot give you any extra tickets,
04:06but I can consider your food request.
04:07What is it?
04:08A fried shark?
04:09Goodbye, Joey.
04:10Hi.
04:14Hey.
04:14We just went shopping for our outfits for the premiere.
04:17We're so excited.
04:18You gotta see these dresses, me and Alex Scott.
04:20Tell them what you said about mine.
04:22I said that is the sluttiest thing I've ever seen.
04:25And out came the credit card.
04:27Yeah, you know, I was excited about the premiere, too.
04:30But then I realized it's the same night these Del Taco coupons expire.
04:37Now, I still have to go to the party, but you guys don't,
04:40so...
04:40Don't be crazy.
04:43We want to be there for you.
04:46Guys.
04:47Oh.
04:48What do you think?
04:48Doesn't he look handsome?
04:51He sure does.
04:52Man, have I got a fast food joint for you to wear that, too.
04:57Joey, is something wrong?
05:00Okay, look, about the premiere.
05:01The thing is...
05:07The limo's coming at six.
05:08Oh, my God.
05:10Is it a stretch?
05:12Better.
05:12It's a stretch Humvee, huh?
05:15With champagne and a hot tub and a butler.
05:19Is the show paying for all of that?
05:21I doubt it.
05:22Bodhi!
05:31Sup, bro?
05:33Sup, Bodhi!
05:37Hey, listen.
05:38Are you bringing anyone to the premiere party?
05:39Because I need some extra tickets.
05:41Oh, sorry, bro.
05:42I'm bringing my mom.
05:44Dude, that is so lame.
05:46You don't want to bring your mom.
05:49You want to bring my married neighbor.
05:52Dude, I didn't even know that was an option.
05:55Man, I'm such a loser.
05:58Hey, Joey.
06:00Hey, guy.
06:03Hey, it's Martin.
06:04I'm your NBC executive.
06:05You think I don't know your name, Martin?
06:08Hey, so did you get tickets to the premiere?
06:12Yeah, but I'm not going.
06:13I'm not really up for it.
06:15Martin, not at a party?
06:17You're the reason everyone's excited about it.
06:19Come on, Marty.
06:20It'll be fun.
06:22And I got the perfect date for you.
06:24Okay.
06:24All right, fine.
06:25I'll go.
06:26Who's the date?
06:27Well, I got a couple of options.
06:28What are you looking for tonight?
06:29What's any guy looking for?
06:31My sister it is.
06:32Okay.
06:32Okay.
06:32Hey, guys, listen up.
06:39You know those tickets we got to the premiere?
06:41Well, I thought to make it more fun,
06:43we could go with my coworkers.
06:45You mean you offered us up as dates without telling us?
06:47What?
06:48No, no, no.
06:49I would never do that.
06:51We're each going to pair off and have a buddy for the night,
06:54and then maybe as a goof, we'll make out with him.
06:58This guy's great.
06:59He was very excited about you.
07:00Why?
07:00What did you tell him I would do?
07:02Well, let's see what he looks like.
07:15Hey.
07:15Hey.
07:16How's it going?
07:17Hey.
07:17Michael and Gina, this is Martin and Carla.
07:19Hi.
07:19Oh, it's a pleasure.
07:21I'm having some difficulties with my dress.
07:23Would you be kind enough to let me know if a boob pops out?
07:27Um, sure.
07:30At last, a true gentleman.
07:32You better get going.
07:34Don't want to be late?
07:35Hi, I'm Michael.
07:36I guess you and I...
07:36Michael, a word, please.
07:40You're actually my date tonight.
07:42Oh.
07:43Then who's going to be her date?
07:44Hello.
07:47Sorry I'm late.
07:48That's okay.
07:49Alex, this is Carla.
07:50Carla, this is Alex, the girl I was telling you about.
07:52Yes, you were.
07:53Hello.
07:53Nice to meet you.
07:55Hi.
07:56Oh, you're friendly.
07:57Okay.
07:58Okay, let's get going.
08:00We don't want to be late.
08:02Joey, did you set Alex up with a lesbian?
08:04Yeah.
08:06You couldn't find a guy for her?
08:08Oh, no, I could have.
08:09I just thought this would be funnier.
08:10Come on.
08:21Oh, my God.
08:22This place looks incredible.
08:24I know, huh?
08:25Can you believe this is the set?
08:26Oh, right over here is where I deliver this amazing monologue
08:30where I tell my daughter that her mother died
08:32and it may have been my fault.
08:34The whole crew was crying, right?
08:35And then right here on this tree is where I taped the script
08:38so I wouldn't have to memorize it.
08:40Oh, Martin, want to go see how open this bar really is?
08:43I don't really drink.
08:45Oh, boy.
08:45But only because I'm on too many prescription medications.
08:48Then I'm back on board.
08:50Come on, Alex.
08:51I want to go show you off to everyone.
08:53Oh, I don't know what that means, but it sounds like fun.
08:55Let's go.
08:56Joey, publicity needs you for a cast photo.
09:00Oh, God, do I have to?
09:03Mom, would you leave it alone?
09:09It's fine.
09:12Gunner, what are you doing here?
09:14They hired me back.
09:16But your character's dead.
09:19Ever hear of a ghost, jackass?
09:22Ever hear of a breath mint, jackass?
09:26Hey, I'm Anna.
09:29Hey, I'm Michael.
09:30Nice to meet you.
09:31You look so familiar.
09:33I swear I've seen you on TV.
09:34Yeah, you probably recognize me from the 1994 Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee.
09:40Sixth place.
09:41Went out on a gastro-mythic.
09:42Oh, you're smart.
09:45I like that.
09:47I was thinking about getting a drink at the bar.
09:50Uh-huh.
09:51Wow.
09:53Say hi to it for me.
09:58Boy, Michael, I thought you lost her with that Spelling Bee stuff, but then you saved it with that say hi to the bar?
10:04I don't...
10:04She just came over and started talking to me.
10:07Should I get her a drink or am I supposed to compliment her?
10:09Relax, relax, Michael.
10:10She's already into you, okay?
10:11And I've looked around.
10:12It doesn't seem to be a practical joke, so...
10:14I say go for it.
10:20Oh, my God.
10:21What?
10:22It's Brent Spiner.
10:24Who?
10:24He played Data on Star Trek The Next Generation.
10:26It's like my favorite show of all time.
10:28Oh, my God.
10:28I gotta go talk to him.
10:29No, no, no, no.
10:30You have to go talk to the girl.
10:31No, what should I do?
10:33I mean, should I get him a drinker or should I compliment him?
10:36I don't know how to pick up Brent Spiner.
10:42Wow, Lauren.
10:44You look beautiful.
10:46If you weren't my boss, I'd be having some thoughts right now.
10:50Whoop, there they are.
10:52Ooh, who's your friend?
10:55Thanks, I guess.
10:58You look really nice, too, except that your bow tie's a little bit crooked,
11:01and if you don't fix it, I may have to leave this conversation.
11:03Okay, okay, okay.
11:06I'm sorry I was so tough on the tickets.
11:08I hope your friends weren't too disappointed.
11:09Oh, hey, the rules are the rules, right?
11:11As much as they wanted to come,
11:12they'll just have to sit at home like the other 20,000 people and watch.
11:15That would be the lowest-rated show on network TV.
11:17We'd all be fired.
11:18Then I have made a terrible wish on a shooting star.
11:22Oh, my God.
11:23What is my ex-boyfriend doing here?
11:26The guy from the phone?
11:27What is Martin doing here?
11:28Uh, do you mean that, Martin, or a Martin behind him?
11:36That woman he's with, and look at her dress.
11:38What is this, the Adult Video Awards?
11:40Oh, hey, forget that.
11:42Look over there.
11:43Is that the words deep powder spelled out in shrimp?
11:48Martin, what are you doing here?
11:49I thought we agreed you weren't gonna come tonight.
11:51I wasn't going to, but then I was told that everybody wanted me here.
11:54Who told you that?
11:55He did.
11:55Oh, really?
11:58And did he provide the skank as well?
12:00Oh, Lauren, have you not met my sister Gina?
12:09Why did you convince Martin to come tonight?
12:11Okay, look, I don't want to blame you,
12:12but none of this would have happened if you'd give me the extra tickets.
12:15Oh, so now this is my fault that Martin's here with this...
12:18Call me a skank again, and I will pound on you so hard you will swell up to normal size.
12:25Speaking of size, whatever you paid for your breasts, it was too much.
12:28Oh, really?
12:29$500 is too much?
12:32Guys, come on, come on.
12:34Look, Lauren, how was I supposed to know he was your boyfriend?
12:36You're way too good for this guy.
12:38But he's good enough for me.
12:39Yes.
12:41Unbelievable.
12:41Thanks a lot, Martin.
12:44You know, you could have told me she was your ex.
12:46Gina, you know that thing I told him you were going to do?
12:48Forget it.
12:51We'll see.
12:52Lieutenant Commander Data, sir.
13:10Sensors indicate we are a go for party.
13:14One day.
13:16Just one day without this, that's all I ask.
13:20Look, I'm sorry, I just...
13:22I had to come and talk to you because your character helped me get through a very awkward
13:27period of my life, starting when I was 14 and ending, well, hopefully sometime in the
13:32next couple of years, but...
13:33Can I just ask you a few questions?
13:36Look, look, look, you seem like a nice guy.
13:39You can ask me about any of the plays or films I've been in.
13:42I'd be happy to talk to you about art, music, literature.
13:47I just...
13:47I'd rather not talk about Star Trek.
13:50Oh, yeah.
13:53So what were the Ferengi like?
13:59So, you know, I love working on the show, but my true passion is trying to bring women's
14:02field hockey to the 2008 Olympic Games.
14:05Oh, you are so interesting.
14:07I really like you.
14:09I really like you, too.
14:10Gosh, you know, it's just so hard to find a good girlfriend, but this feels kind of right.
14:15Yeah.
14:15Do you want to dance?
14:18Okay, girlfriend.
14:26Oh, we're doing this now.
14:27Okay.
14:27Michael!
14:31Oh, I thought that was you.
14:34Oh, aren't you a sexy little fancy man?
14:39Well, Joey didn't tell me you'd be here.
14:41No, he didn't tell me that you'd be here.
14:43I mean, if he had, I wouldn't have brought data.
14:47Look, Bobby, come on.
14:48You're my agent.
14:49You know I don't like that.
14:50I was just telling him I don't want to talk about data.
14:53You listen to me, Mr. Roboto.
14:58Michael is a fan, and if he wants you to be data, then you be data.
15:03If he wants you to be R2-D2, then I want to hear blippity-blop score.
15:10Now, I'm going to give you boys a chance to talk.
15:13One day, you'll return the favor.
15:17Hard.
15:17Hard.
15:20Look, if, uh, if you don't want to talk about Star Trek...
15:26No, no, no, no, I'm sorry.
15:28She's right.
15:29Sit down.
15:31Please, just...
15:32What do you want to know?
15:33Seriously?
15:35Well, I've always wondered about your evil twin brother, Lore.
15:39When you...
15:40I mean, when he...
15:41When Lore...
15:42God, I've practiced this in front of a mirror so many times.
15:44Can you just excuse me for one second, Mr. Spiner?
15:51Call me Brent.
15:52I'll call you Brent.
15:57Hey, how's it going?
15:58I thought you'd left.
15:59No, I wouldn't leave when a woman of such great poker tube was here.
16:03Poker tube, that's a word I spelled in competition once.
16:05That's P-U-L-C-H-R...
16:07Spelling is totally hot.
16:10Totally hot.
16:11Are you kidding me?
16:12Oh, my God, Brent's leaving.
16:16The guy from Independence Day?
16:17Yeah, Independence Day.
16:19Good.
16:19I'll be right back.
16:24Howdy, boys.
16:28Joey!
16:29Bobby, hey!
16:30Thanks so much for coming.
16:32I got an advanced copy of the show.
16:34You were fabulous.
16:35Really?
16:35Yeah, I laughed my ass off.
16:39It's a drama.
16:40Oh, no, I don't think so.
16:49Hey, Lauren.
16:50Look, the show's about to start in five minutes.
16:52I just want to make sure we're okay about the whole Martin thing.
16:55You are the most frustrating human being I have ever met.
16:58Okay, four minutes, 40 seconds.
16:59You're not crying.
17:00I think I can make an apology in time.
17:03Yeah, I just didn't expect to see him tonight, and it's completely throwing me off.
17:06Why couldn't you just stick to the one-ticket rule?
17:08You ever think that maybe you have too many rules?
17:12No.
17:12Really?
17:13You don't think you wound a little tight?
17:16No.
17:17Well, then what do you think of, I don't know, this?
17:21Don't do that.
17:21Don't do what?
17:23Stop it.
17:24Look at that.
17:25You proved me wrong.
17:27You know what?
17:27I just like things to be just so, but I don't expect you to understand.
17:30I mean, this shirt is wrinkled, your hair is a mess, it's got a hangnail.
17:34You know, I need a lint brush, Todd.
17:35Hey, hey.
17:36What?
17:43What did you do that?
17:45To calm you down.
17:46Oh, my God, it worked.
17:53Do it again.
17:55But what about my germs?
17:57I'll boil my face later.
17:59I felt like the way that the show explored the nature of the android, it really said
18:07a lot about what it means to be human.
18:10Huh.
18:11I think I never thought of it that way.
18:14I was too busy hitting on Klingon extras.
18:17Which, let me tell you, is risky business.
18:19Till that makeup comes off, you don't know what you're getting.
18:21Hey, I'm going to take off.
18:25I was wondering, do you want to come back to my place, have a drink?
18:29Yes.
18:30Y-E-S.
18:32Hey, I'm going to hit the road.
18:34You know, I don't know if you'd be interested, but I keep an old space suit in the car to
18:39impress women.
18:41You want to see it?
18:49I'm sorry.
18:50Uh, I'm really going to have to go with Brent.
18:57She was like a deltman, a betazoid, all rolled into one.
19:01You got that right, brother.
19:15Wait a minute, wait a minute.
19:16Are we making a mistake?
19:23Lauren, Lauren.
19:25We work so good together.
19:27I don't want to mess that up.
19:28Come on, listen up.
19:30You're wound too tight.
19:31This would be amazing, but this is the most important job I've had in my life.
19:48And I hate to say it, but some things are more important than sex.
19:52I may be the first Tribbiani in history to ever say that.
20:00You're right.
20:01I was the one with the rule about no-on-set romances, and look at me.
20:05Oh, I'm looking at you.
20:07You know, technically, we're really not on set.
20:19Okay, I can't talk you out of this twice.
20:21Let's get out of here.
20:21Come on, Captain Pattern.
20:27You gotta run.
20:28The bomb's gonna explode.
20:31Mom, there you are.
20:32You just missed your first scene.
20:34You are so good.
20:35I mean, I could kind of tell you were talking to the tree, but it works.
20:38Really?
20:39Oh, yeah.
20:39I am so proud of you.
20:40The show is good.
20:41Oh, God.
20:47Hey, could you keep it down?
20:49Well, I am not gonna keep it down.
20:51That's my client.
20:52He's the funniest thing in there.
21:01Woo!
21:03You could teach my husband a thing or two about dancing.
21:06You're married?
21:07Yeah.
21:08Great.
21:09My last girlfriend was married.
21:10I'm never gonna go through that again.
21:12Well, why can't I be married and still have you as a girlfriend?
21:15Wouldn't you feel like you're living a lie?
21:19Yeah, I guess.
21:20A little.
21:23You call me when you're ready to be honest with yourself.
21:26Oh, okay.
21:27Well, wait.
21:29Are we still going to Napa this weekend?
21:33Preston, you're still there!
21:40I don't know.
21:42I don't know.
21:42So, let's get ready.
21:44I'm getting ready.
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