What Is The Craziest Firework Name? (The Bracket, Vol. 190)

Barstool Sports

KenJac | The Bracket

Transcript

00:00:00first up we have guerrilla warfare yeah yeah fuck yeah it's so stupid spec ops gorilla

00:00:10uh imperial wizard which is like a final character

00:00:16all right welcome to the bracket episode 180 today myself owen tommy mook t bob uh kb and

00:00:26shea coming at you they don't know what the topic is this is a topic that i thought of over this last

00:00:30weekend uh very inspired by something i ran into on the road so today we are doing the best fireworks

00:00:38bracket so i ran into one that i found very interesting called the what the deuce stewie

00:00:44griffin firework and then it made me laugh and then i went and looked into it more there are some

00:00:49of the funniest firework names ever like this country like i just don't know what is going on

00:00:54the firework manufacturing industry but they can't think of names so they just like mishmash

00:00:58shit together and i went through and i found a fuck ton of bizarre insane very funny uh firework

00:01:05names that i think you guys are gonna enjoy quite a bit uh so before we get into that though let's

00:01:09talk a little bit about game time uh if you watch anything with barstool you know everything there

00:01:13that there is to know about game time at this point there's nothing like getting to a baseball game

00:01:17especially last minute lucky for me i always use game time the official ticketing partner of barstool

00:01:21sports it makes getting tickets faster and easier prices on the app actually go down closer to

00:01:25showtime i'm looking right now at yankee stadium look at that view i don't know if you could see

00:01:28it hell of a view hell of a view right now guess how much that is 32 bucks in yankee stadium for

00:01:32cubs at yankees that's a fantastic matchup fantastic classic match right there uh 32 bucks and you can

00:01:38put those savings back in your pocket and spend them at the ballpark on hot dog new hat old or an

00:01:42old-fashioned crackerjack uh i actually used them to go to phillies versus uh mets a couple weekends

00:01:47ago and i caught or person next to me caught but she was using game time tickets as well

00:01:51she caught the nick castellanos uh ball thrown to her on iran missile day which is you all

00:01:56that honestly should go for tens of thousands of dollars i couldn't agree more uh she got an

00:02:02iran missile in the castellanos ball thank you very much to game time for that so what are you

00:02:07waiting for gonna go get those yankees tickets today with game time take the guesswork out of

00:02:10buying tickets with game time download the game time app create an account and use code bracket

00:02:13for 20 bucks off your first purchase terms apply again great account redeem code b-r-a-c-k-e-t for

00:02:1920 bucks off now the game time out today what time is it game time that's right uh are you guys big

00:02:24fireworks people at all or no i've experienced like a resurgence of joy from them this year i've always

00:02:33thought they're underrated i think people love to just shit on fireworks and be like oh but i think

00:02:38they're cool for the for the first time on the fourth this year i set them off with a buddy

00:02:43really any last time first time i've ever like been that close to that like lit one yeah oh no i

00:02:49didn't but i was wait so you didn't light one i didn't light it i was in the vicinity what i was

00:02:53like 20 yards away i was scared 20 i was given distance you were at the edge of the red zone yeah i

00:03:02was close i was close enough did y'all ever have like m80 wars or anything growing up i would never

00:03:08compete where you'd throw throw like m80s at each other or shoot like texas pop rockets i wouldn't

00:03:13put myself in that position to get blasted uh quickly t bob i'm owen nice to meet you oh what's

00:03:19up man nice to meet you dude hell yeah cool ass dude i'm i'm kind of blind so i can vaguely make

00:03:25out your shape but not a lot of detail so try to lock your voice in for me let's talk fireworks

00:03:32did you guys see that dodgers fan that blew his hand off but like you actually see everything

00:03:36happen no no like the jpp thing it's like all right like that happened you know kind of fucked up his

00:03:42career he still played after that whatever his hands fucked up but there was one the dodgers i think

00:03:47it was this past season just won the world series dodgers fan and dodgers gear celebrating outside he

00:03:51sets off a firework and there's a video of it and you just see he's it goes off there's a giant

00:03:56flash and then his hands just become bones cool there's blood all over his jerks that happened to

00:04:01a uh a rapper over this fourth of july and he had his video yeah he had a video holding what looked

00:04:06like a stick of dynamite and he was like clowning people about blowing off their hands and talking

00:04:12shit and then there's not a video of it but apparently yeah not even a single salvageable

00:04:17salvageable finger oh my god like a successful rapper uh i don't know it's it's like i i feel

00:04:26like i get a lot of rappers through black twitter that i don't actually know who they are but they

00:04:30seem to have some measure of success or profile right enough people clown that guy where i'm like

00:04:35oh he needs to be sort of famous for yes he's getting clown yes exactly but yeah his i saw that

00:04:40picture this it went from the him making fun of him to just a picture of him holding his hand and

00:04:44literally just bones oh i didn't see the picture oh it was gross you'd think fireworks would be like

00:04:52technologically advanced by now where you can just set them off from your phone but then yeah i mean

00:04:58the best part about lighting a firework though is that initial sparkle in the right yeah right right

00:05:05when you're right and you're like oh shit run away put in reverse terry put in reverse i did enjoy

00:05:11seeing terry on a uh on float on the float so terry's making rounds yeah that made me very happy

00:05:16fucking parade float uh okay now i get technical issues out of the way we can do it i'm gonna share

00:05:22screen with you guys so that you could see it uh so we have actually a decent amount of playing games

00:05:27because there were too many and i felt wrong cutting them or leaving them on the honorable mention floor

00:05:31uh so the first up we have is the number five seed versus the uh where did she go 12 seed

00:05:38so torment which is one where i just i don't understand the appeal of buying one called

00:05:45torment especially with like this gothic horror visage on it and it's just it really makes me laugh

00:05:52so by the way it makes me laugh uh and that is the vfw yeah and that's going up against uh you betcha

00:05:59which is another one which i just don't totally understand it i don't know if it's a reference to

00:06:04something because it's in quotes too i'm kind of fun but like what is that yeah what is that

00:06:09quoting regionally who would say you betcha is that like a midwest thing you betcha that seems

00:06:15like a like a 90s thing yeah or you betcha yeah like what's yeah it's northern type thing who is

00:06:21that fella as well he's a wisconsin wizard no yeah clearly yeah from memory fireworks whatever the

00:06:28whatever that is you memory do do fireworks exist like outside of ip laws i i don't know you're

00:06:38probably probably yeah okay there's someone here where it's like it doesn't totally make sense how

00:06:43that works ip wise they're not paying licensing fees no so gas station weed yeah yeah sure

00:06:51uh so oh and we can start with you which one of these do you think is a better firework uh

00:06:58nigga's name torment versus you betcha with our friendly little wizard guy i like the wizard but

00:07:05i think torment is bad for fireworks so i'll go with that versus you betcha uh one vote for torment

00:07:12tommy yeah i'm gonna go torment too i don't really get you betcha it sounds we're running on what's

00:07:18better or what's like i think what's better i think i put best firework weirdest because i think

00:07:22funnier is different but you could say what do you think i don't know um we'll just go best i like

00:07:29yeah yeah torment again i just looking at that like it looks scary as fuck it is it is a horrifying

00:07:36horror movie troll yeah poster uh mook i'm gonna go torment too it's badass it looks like the like people

00:07:44are being burned away by the fireworks and the name itself too it's like you're tormenting like

00:07:49like scared dogs and u.s veterans around so i think the name is more fitting the slipknot font too

00:07:57yeah the slipknot yeah the bleeding the bleeding font uh t-bob uh while i agree that torment does a good

00:08:06job of kind of establishing the stakes at play uh i think fireworks are play i don't know that i

00:08:14want like the nightmare scenarios thrown in front of my face so i'm gonna go with the wisconsin wizard

00:08:19i mean this guy this this guy just looks like fun he also looks like a person who would sell you

00:08:26fireworks at some of those wonderful roadside firework stands that litter the i've never met

00:08:32a dude of his ilk you never you never sell selling uh you never met like that old that type of

00:08:38country man i have nothing like him nothing resembling him in spirit you betcha yeah no

00:08:45give me this guy he's there like those are gonna be a lot of fun to fire off he's like khaki colored

00:08:50why did they and then his eyes he's like jaundice why are his eyes he's lived in the sun his entire

00:08:55life farming fireworks or guys i think he's a lightning bug he is what is he he almost looks like a bird uh

00:09:04he looks middle eastern for sure he's definitely jaundiced with just liver failure i believe that

00:09:10reads that so he drinks a lot he's an alcoholic and he just sells fireworks to kids yes uh which

00:09:16actually is kind of gandalf's thing too except for the minus the drinking kb true true kb have you

00:09:22um neither of these even remotely indicate what you're about to get into fireworks wise

00:09:30torment implies like human suffering which i don't like uh great of you to say but this um

00:09:39but this uh elven sorcerer leaves me with even more questions than torment so i think i'd be very

00:09:47curious enough to buy both of these um but but you gotta go torment that's just such a strong

00:09:54um claim so i'm gonna go torment you betcha though look at him you betcha look at him what does it

00:10:03mean yeah it's quoting something but i i looked it up i just looked up you betcha it's not a lot to go

00:10:08off of like there's a kind of oh you got any mortars here okay i'm still going with torment you just

00:10:15don't know what's gonna be in that box another vote for weeping and gnashing of teeth yeah what the

00:10:22demons there's not even in like a symbolism for explosiveness no we have no idea what these look

00:10:28like that's none of that is firework ass it's just this guy who the fuck he is uh jay there's really

00:10:35one meaning of torment that's not anything you'd want to pay currency for the you betcha

00:10:42maybe uh the the you betcha if you do a if we did like a dozen celebrity mashup and the inside

00:10:53is the owl from winnie the pooh oh my god if you look at it like closely like before the before the

00:11:00beard starts um they're both really weird uh i think you betcha somehow creeps me out a little

00:11:06bit less so i'll go with that one you betcha that means that torment is going to move on by

00:11:11vote four to two uh so now we have the four seed versus our 13th seed the 13th seed is i believe

00:11:16the first of our playing games hot round everybody yeah start with that's a good one that's a good

00:11:27one uh bad like crab doesn't even rhyme i don't understand it that's great um ben franklinstein

00:11:39more like a halloween costume yeah uh baby boomers but this one i get baby boomers but it's just like

00:11:48dave chapelle with his head a fed up dave chapelle a fed up from brothers exasperated dave from

00:11:57brothers heavyweights uh i don't get it what does it say under brothers heavyweights up to how much

00:12:04powder uh five thousand of powder whatever that five thousand of powder no measurement

00:12:11again it looks like dave chapelle when he's doing the black george bush skit like i just i don't know

00:12:18what the picture's from uh boss man oh yeah i think that is that like that bruce willis i think it's

00:12:25like hitman but also maybe not i don't totally get it i think it's a guy it's got a molotov cocktail

00:12:30blowing up the car from the oh um uh ed ed harris yeah yeah i could see that uh command post

00:12:38in jail with some cgi soldiers shoots flaming balls always shoots flaming balls uh fire in the

00:12:49hole one of many family guy ones that you're able to find in firework stores and that might be it okay

00:12:55so which one of these chain ones do you guys want to see advanced starting with you che again run through

00:12:59the options quick addicted to loud bad like crap what the fuck does this mean um ben franklinstein

00:13:06baby boomers boss man or uh command post or fire in the hole i think the family guy animation is a bit

00:13:14too much i think fire in the hole as a name is pretty good boss man i really like the animation

00:13:19because he's holding a molotov cocktail and that guy looks badass but i mean addicted to loud i think

00:13:23it's the best name so they don't even need animations it's just you're addicted to loud here's

00:13:28nine of these things so give me uh addicted to loud one vote for addicted to loud kb

00:13:33man i kind of get the

00:13:39there's one that just leaves me curious but it's bad like crab um i don't know what i'm going to get

00:13:49into but you know what you're going to get into with most fireworks it's going to be kind of

00:13:54underwhelming um but bad like crab you just don't know what it is it is is it a crab

00:13:58yes an exploding crab crab type way i just don't associate crabs with explosives or with like

00:14:07being bad yeah i don't know what a crab does yeah does it crawl does it pinch it just pinches you

00:14:13blows up a bad crab would just be someone a crab that pinches i get that's every crab it's just that

00:14:20that's what they do but a excessively pinching crab

00:14:24does that crab have eyebrows it sure does yeah they're thick lashes big you're gonna go

00:14:32badly crab t bob uh i can't get away from baby boomers i like the name it's a good word play

00:14:40i really really love 5 000 powder yeah up to 5 000 powder just letting you know how high the power

00:14:48level is 5 000 of powder 5 000 powder 16 shots dave chappelle give me baby boomers the text say

00:14:57like too old oh i mean i want my fireworks to make a social statement against the generation that ruin

00:15:08the country and buying homes and everything else for the latest generation so yes i'm i'm taking a

00:15:15social stand while shooting up to 5 000 powder so one vote too loud i mean the baby boomers want it

00:15:24looks like a like a stand-up special like artwork it looks like chappelle is on like his 18th joke

00:15:30about trans people he's like super fed up the name of like a jeff foxworthy special yes absolutely

00:15:38yeah and they promote it on fox news and uh i think baby boomers pad like crab baby boomers and then i don't

00:15:45think command post is getting enough love i mean that is just yeah what's going on there it's like

00:15:50windows graphic for sure yeah yeah and it's only 22 you like being hypnotized what's with like the

00:15:56ripple effect coming out of it trying to do brainwashing people like is he no kinesis

00:16:00i i'm gonna have to go baby boomers i i just love that visual and then the brothers heavyweights is

00:16:07just uh yeah that's a good brand brand you trust brothers heavyweight brothers could be its own brand

00:16:13too i don't know what it would be exactly could be a band heavyweight brothers or record i could see

00:16:17it the top logo though does kind of feel a bit at odds with the rest of the brothers

00:16:22with the two very happy star stars coming together uh tommy i mean i think if we're going pure like oh

00:16:32what's the best one like addicted to loud i guess is boring but if we're saying what i'm most likely

00:16:38going to buy i'm going to walk through the aisles i'm going to say what the hell is bad like crab

00:16:44going to be and i think that is a selling point of i have to see exactly how these are going to

00:16:49explode so i'm going to go bad like crab bad like crab that means we're tied right now between baby

00:16:54boomers and bad like crab you could break the tie or go on your own way on bad like crab bad like

00:16:58crab i just again explode an explosive crab i don't totally understand so bad like crab is going to

00:17:04go up against our uh number four seed i love this guy uh that would be kevin fuck yes oh that's a

00:17:14real name of a minion i was that one of the minions yeah oh yeah it's not it's not a licensed product

00:17:19of minions it's just kevin it's just a very similar to minion shaped thing so bad like crab versus kevin

00:17:27start with you owen i gotta go kevin i was doing my list of bachelors or groomsmen whatever it's

00:17:35called and i realized it's 40 kevin's really wow i i guess all my guys are kevin too many

00:17:43three kevin's shouts to the kevin's yeah do the minions duke's a kevin one of the kevin yeah duke's

00:17:50yeah uh kevin one vote tommy is this thing's name kevin in despicable me yeah yeah there is a

00:18:02minion named kevin and he's the long slim one with two eyes chicken with bad like crab this is random

00:18:09but i think it would be better if it was just named kevin and the character's name wasn't kevin

00:18:14just a random thing bad like crab i'm still has a special place in my heart so one vote for bad

00:18:21like crab just by the way that this thing looks three feet tall correct he is how big is that

00:18:27this admits a shower of sparks so i think it has to have some sort of uh vertical height here it also

00:18:31has feet um it's also got the detroit pistons logo for some reason yeah uh go zoom back in on the logo

00:18:39on kevin's chest yeah miracle i guess is the brand of the firework but it is that is just the

00:18:43i'm telling you licensing laws do not exist in the in the wild west of fireworks yeah like the

00:18:52detroit miracle is that a team in wba in the w uh so one vote for bad like crab one vote for kevin

00:18:57mook yeah that's also the pokemon font right is it certainly oh oh oh underneath yes like kevin

00:19:04yeah yeah yeah absolutely ripping off everything uh i don't know like minions i'm not a big minion guy

00:19:11i i'm more intrigued at what bad like crab looks like so i'm gonna go bad like crab two votes for

00:19:18bad like crab one vote for uh cat i almost said evan that'd be a much different firework uh so t bob

00:19:23um so i've become a pretty big fan of minions through my kids i was not into them at first

00:19:30i think the slapstick characters they've created are quite fun and when i thought this was a mortar

00:19:38that would end with like you know like with a blown up kevin i thought that maybe would be the

00:19:44answer but this is obviously something that just does a a a tower of sparks and i want to fire mortars

00:19:52like i want to fire big boys that are going to blow up very high in the sky and even not knowing

00:19:57what bad like crab is i know it does more than just blow out sparks so unfortunately i will have to

00:20:04leave kevin behind and uh i'll throw mine in with the crab people another vote for bad like crab

00:20:10could i ask t bob to explain how fireworks work to the uh the the mortars like they'll come out of a

00:20:17uh like i'm guessing in that bad like crab box you're gonna have multiple tubes that will you light

00:20:25the box and it'll shoot them off one by one and who knows how many shots are on there might be on the

00:20:30box could be like 12 could be 8 16 i'm not sure but kevin would just spray sparks in the air and

00:20:36that's it there's nothing popping out of there besides that so he's like a bottle of champagne

00:20:40yes yes yes very well said a pyrotechnic bottle of champagne i would love to reverse engineer my

00:20:46vote to bed like crab the bad like crab you absolutely can you absolutely look 25 shots i think

00:20:52i'm bad like crab is maybe what i'm seeing there underneath i see the number 25 let's say 25 right

00:20:58there uh we'd have a reverse vote to bad like crab kb fuck these name kevin yeah uh bad like

00:21:04crab left me with many questions in the opening round that uh pyro nation on youtube has answered

00:21:10and these are these are events grade fireworks okay bad like crab it's a big bad like crab it's a big

00:21:19something you'd see at a show um which you know the curiosity is gone but it's still i would take

00:21:27that over a shower of sparks i'd like to throw a possible flag from the sanctity of the bracket

00:21:32committee we're voting on the best name and the best box we're not voting on the actual oh best

00:21:38packaging and um and branding i'm still going with bad you have to i mean but they can't factor in at

00:21:44all can't factor in at all unfortunately that's what the committee said wow okay no factoring

00:21:50still the minions are too popular and prolific it's boring t bob made me feel like a lady for

00:21:57not factoring that i mean look if i mean honestly if we're not factoring in the type of firework then

00:22:05i will go with kevin then i then i will actually reverse my vote back with kevin um you're still

00:22:11in an overwhelming majority for bad like crab yeah okay i love the name kevin for a firework kevin as

00:22:17well then you could but for saying to the bracket purposes now you need to stay with bad like crab

00:22:22we'll switch uh jay i like the minions go go go uh go kevin banana but that means yeah you could

00:22:30you could pretend to like jerk him off as the wick is going and then yell banana and then all the all

00:22:35the sparks come out sounds pretty fun great humor like you were saying if it launched like a missile

00:22:40like an icbm coming out of like that would be awesome and i think it'd be no question kevin but

00:22:46as it stands i think i'd probably agree with you guys i'm bad like crap uh now we have the nine

00:22:50versus the eight seed a battle of the ladies starting with fat lady which i did i there's so

00:22:56much going on this i didn't want to look at it i wanted to wait to see with you guys like i was

00:22:59like i can't start with that lady world champion she's the fat lady world champion she looks like

00:23:04she's breaking this man's arm in an arm wrestling competition he's snapping it well yeah i think

00:23:09that's i guess that's the bulk of it is just her destroying this jacked dude in a arm wrestling

00:23:14competition she's the arm wrestling world champion that says right below yeah so fat lady is going

00:23:19up against wait sorry what do you want to see what does it say five is 500 500 this is 500 grams of

00:23:26powder in this one oh yeah 500 grams okay again 5 000 powder in the other it's true something to

00:23:33think about and that's going up against ladies night out

00:23:36why is there a duck commander

00:23:40i couldn't make heads it's just like a stock image of a lady in like a pilot i'd love to see

00:23:48the casting process of how this lady is she getting paid oh she's got no clue she's on fireworks no

00:23:56fucking idea uh so uh starting with you this time jay ladies night out versus fat lady which one of

00:24:03these do you think should move on i think it's gonna be fat lady but i have a question about the other

00:24:09one uh ladies night out listen i'm for i'm for the ladies i consider myself the low-key feminist

00:24:18has a group of women ever just fired off fireworks completely in a all all women well that's what

00:24:25ladies night out is seeking to change with their branding they want you to let them know that they're

00:24:30all welcome in this space it's like a pink pistol you know what i mean yeah yeah all right good for

00:24:35them then i hope i hope that sells well it looks fun pink fireworks are great i think all color fireworks

00:24:40are great but yeah i'm skeptical about the success of this company can we start that as like a like a

00:24:45stereotype like lesbians love fireworks or something a bunch of fucking lesbians moved in down my block

00:24:50they won't stop yeah love fire off-season fireworks they just pulled in their subarus packed to the

00:24:55gills with fireworks i can't fucking stand it uh so ladies night out gets a vote kb yeah it's got to

00:25:02be ladies night out that i don't it's such a silly graphic he's like a borderline grandma what is she

00:25:09doing with all these fireworks i mean and i still just cannot fathom why a duck commander logo is just

00:25:14randomly slapped onto the box out of nowhere what else flaming balls always flaming balls this guy

00:25:20doesn't give you the gram count though wait do you notice they trademarked ladies night out by the

00:25:24way did they oh oh wow look at that hey i did not know that that's what this phrase came from

00:25:30was a firework uh t-bub uh i i i'm i'm leaning ladies night out in an era of overly busy boxes there's

00:25:39a simplicity that is very nice but i do like the concept of fat lady right it's a show ender

00:25:45because it is quite literally when the fat lady sings i imagine these things sing as they fly into

00:25:51the air also what is that mickey mouse panda amalgamation logo uh right underneath the word lady

00:25:58it seems to it's a panda mickey it's a panda mickey another bastardized uh uh symbol of our american

00:26:08culture but no i'm going ladies night out you're going ladies night out another vote for ladies

00:26:12night out mook can you zoom in on the fat lady again just for oh yeah i know what you're thinking

00:26:17yeah tits are too perfect for that physique they really are just magnificent green eyes blonde hair

00:26:25i would play i would want to i've been known to blast fat ladies and i like i'm more intrigued by

00:26:34ladies night out i think i would have to buy that and just see i no i'm not gonna fight it i love fat

00:26:40lady give me fat lady yeah yeah i can't fight that i can't really find a higher resolution picture of

00:26:46the fat lady i'm gonna see if i can get it better don't worry that's good her nipples seem to be

00:26:50peeking a reflection oh through her shiny suit as well tommy i'm going ladies night out as well

00:26:57uh or just i i like the simplicity of it uh the fat lady i probably would but i mean

00:27:04this picture how can i vote against ladies night out also this is how you like show all the women

00:27:12in your life that no you do care and i'm an ally and i'm supportive you're welcome to come to the

00:27:18show ladies night out owen ladies night out for sure this lady i'd love to blast these and cindy

00:27:24lopper just have a good old time so ladies night out is going to move on now we have our one seed

00:27:29versus our 16 seed chain game starting with the 16 seed uh hey tony hey tony hell yeah now this is

00:27:37made by a black black cat though that's a major player in the game wait why is this hd or is that

00:27:43the name of the company i think it's a hd firework it's the high resolution

00:27:48oh my god 480p firework would be great insane but tony is a it's not tony it's tony yeah

00:27:59emphasis on the end yeah uh chicken on a chain i don't get either i don't like what's a chicken

00:28:06on a chain meme it's uh it's about the it's it's going haywire right it's a wallace and gromit

00:28:14reference that's from wallace and gromit you can be fucking down the notebook the imagery is hard

00:28:18friggin crickets uh don't totally with a spider not with nary a single cricket

00:28:25spiders and scorpions

00:28:30god damn friggin crickets oh yeah homewrecker oh yeah now we're talking oh yeah this one sex sells

00:28:4024 shots i saw this one this was right next to the stewie griffin one but i saw when i originally

00:28:46wanted to make this one uh monkey see monkey do

00:28:49that's unedited monkey b hole it's just right up there on the box 16 16 shots right up his butthole

00:29:02uh trophy wife which i like you got each you got one for each of them that's like a fun courtney

00:29:06wendy with an i that's a hot name carla penny donna and ali i think it's on the side uh warm greetings

00:29:17i don't know what this is i don't know mr bean on the right i did see another shot

00:29:24young bean feels pedophilic in a way they don't know we have a 61 shots of bell peppers like what

00:29:32are the what are the red yeah what's the fleshy red material carolina reapers are behind them i don't

00:29:38understand and i don't know what the child has to do with it or warm greetings none of it meshes

00:29:42uh and then this is the so this is the one that sparked off the whole thing was the deuce

00:29:47yeah what the deuce which it's also not spelled right it's like what the

00:29:51douche i guess like douche it's d-e-u-c-e and it's uh stewie griffin with of course a full arm

00:29:58sleeve of tattoos doing graffiti i think like an italian duke i think that's how they spell it

00:30:02like mussolini yeah yeah uh so oh and then last one on the list busty and scabelli

00:30:13is not the last one damn if i had an ant that looked like that i'd be real

00:30:18busty and scabelli uh so run through the options again and i believe you can first this time owen

00:30:26a tony chicken on a chain friggin crickets home wrecker monkey see monkey do trophy wife

00:30:34warm greetings what the dukes and uh busty and scabelli um i'll go with the bear monkey s

00:30:42that'll get a pop from the car when you come back with it one vote

00:30:46one vote for monkey see monkey do tommy i think i like the one with the babies and the peppers on it

00:30:55warm greetings everything like one baby is petrified and one's chilling one's showing the

00:31:03fireworks there's a one in here is a teletubby one like a teletubby son

00:31:06yeah but i wish you didn't say that right as i picked it i'm gonna stick with warm greeting

00:31:15not even greetings warm greeting oh true yeah because it's one baby per basket yeah yeah so one

00:31:21vote for warm greeting mook every time we look at warm greetings i feel like we shouldn't be

00:31:25looking at it yeah like wrong about this can you go through them one more time i'm sorry i like the

00:31:32monkey butt hey tony uh chicken on our chain friggin crickets home wrecker monkey see monkey do

00:31:38it's it's it's the monkey i will say shout out to friggin crickets i like seeing the word friggin

00:31:44written out yeah on branding i think that's pretty sweet uh but the monkey the monkey ass

00:31:49like i see that that's an owen was right that's an automatic buy like i'd be sending that in the

00:31:54group chat as soon as i saw it and be like we're setting this shit off so one another vote for monkey

00:31:59see monkey do t bob yeah i mean monkey see monkey do does represent the kind of primal dumb nature

00:32:08of firing off fireworks where the only end game is just to like see explosions and it's all risk

00:32:14outside of that but um god i really like warm greetings but i i think i'm gonna go with busty

00:32:21and scabelli yeah because yeah and again in a day and age of over look and i'd actually like to switch

00:32:28my vote to busty and scabelli in over advertising it is simply just busty and scabelli nothing else on

00:32:35the box i'm starting to think t bob doesn't know the lore of this yeah he definitely doesn't

00:32:39no i have no idea yeah yeah do you think this is a real firework okay i thought yes i thought

00:32:45i thought it was i thought this was maybe like coincidence or happenstance

00:32:50jack always like to say i have a busty aunt for some reason yeah okay so now that you've ruined

00:32:58my dreams i'll go with warm greetings or greeting excuse me maybe yeah all of the names and packagings

00:33:05like are associated with like the chaos of fireworks except for warm greetings which is like

00:33:11very very tame it's not even hot it's warm the babies are fine um they're not even reacting

00:33:19and then what are the like lewd angles of hot peppers is that what it does feel lewd that's the word i was

00:33:26looking for like it feels like you're looking at the internals of a vagina everything about this is

00:33:31wrong and then like 61 shots not okay a prime number this is bizarre and i'm going with it

00:33:41warm greeting another vote uh che i know it's fake i just want to see busty and scabelli stick around

00:33:48for a little bit longer about that sorry by the way i just had to go on those are perfect i went on

00:33:53getty uh uh start or creative search and just typed in busty older woman this is the top result i mean

00:34:00what's in her cleavage a hair clip i think it's like sunglasses or something yeah but shout out to

00:34:05busty and scabelli as uh warm greeting is going to move on and play our number one seed uh active shooter

00:34:11active shooter as a firework so fucking funny uh so active shooter versus warm greeting chay

00:34:23uh uh uh it's terrible active 204 shots yeah a very active shooter

00:34:32what is can you zoom what is the top part of the left logo and also what is the cost on this

00:34:40pyroland pyroland 500 power 500 power that other one was 5,000 what the fuck that other one was

00:34:485,000 powder oh this is oh this is 500 power power to powder i can't see the price not high

00:34:56enough resolution i'll see if i can find oh wait hold on going closer it shoots what did it say

00:35:00shoots fireballs oh yeah no it's a bit confusing yeah um yeah um i'm gonna go with the uh the warm

00:35:12greeting there's just more askew about this mainly the 61 shots um but yeah this one yeah it looks like

00:35:20tonsils but they're all they're all very tonically yeah uh so one vote for warm greeting katie

00:35:26um i cannot look at the the warm greeting image no i'm done with that we're gonna go active shooter

00:35:36500 500 power that's enough power to kill multiple people yeah i need 500 i can't leave that up to

00:35:43imagination 500 one vote and it's a funny name active it's hysterical i don't know how they ends up

00:35:50getting sold uh or sold uh one vote for active shooter t-bop uh yeah no give me i'm i'm i'm sticking

00:35:58with warm greeting i think chay actually took the words out of my mouth the 61 the 61 shot is the uh the

00:36:04detail that is taking me uh over the top to give me warm greeting two votes for warm greeting moop

00:36:10these are both extremely fucked up i want to know who who did the graphic design on warm greetings

00:36:16like who's who's adobe photoshop that lives in um active shooter the font it looks like video game font

00:36:25um like active yeah yeah it looks like uh buck hunger or whatever uh i'm gonna go warm greetings i don't

00:36:32like it uh but i like it more than active shooter active shooter is kind of boring what's going on

00:36:37the background of this is this like a mountain like i don't know i don't know uh three votes for

00:36:42the warm greeting tommy yeah i'd love to know the creative process for a warm greeting where it's

00:36:47all right we'll start off with some hot peppers that makes sense and then how they got to let's throw

00:36:52a few babies yeah um but it it's people love babies why greeting that's so warm greeting yeah warm

00:37:00greeting is be very it doesn't what's the name of the company is a lightning cult or lightning built

00:37:06bolt oh lightning bolt who would ever assume fireworks yeah i don't know what there's no

00:37:13product i would associate this with looking at this is like a pepper like i don't really understand

00:37:18it's only uh owen is it settled yet or no it is settled in favor of warm greeting what would you vote

00:37:25for not that you go for active shooter yeah warm greeting gonna move on let's go before we get to

00:37:33the second half of the bracket let's talk about blue chew uh blue chew if you again if you've heard

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00:38:19humanity one thrust at a time we just love you guys hope you're blue chew thank you very much for

00:38:22sponsoring the pod all right second half of the bracket uh first up we have the 11th seed versus

00:38:27the 6th seed 11th seed oh squirrel i was saying i got this i got this don't it looks like he's on a

00:38:36diving board like it's also poorly cropped like you could see like still the out the exterior of

00:38:41whatever the crop you can see that right they did a bad job selecting it pyro demon fireworks

00:38:46yeah those are the same people that make torment yeah this is good shit but the guys that work at

00:38:52pyro demon were like how about squirrel and he's saying i got this uh so squirrel 200 going up against

00:38:59unforgettable which is a dollar bill that has albert einstein on

00:39:04they potentially forgot what who's on the dollar bill which is ironic for unforgettable

00:39:11they couldn't get the copyright to gw or any of the other people on any bill in u.s currency uh so

00:39:19squirrel versus unforgettable owen i'm really into the latter it looks like he's crawling out of it

00:39:25it's a really cool the hell is gripping image i want to keep staring at it and i don't want to see

00:39:32those babies and on the bell peppers don't worry we're safe until we have to come back around for

00:39:38uh so squirrel is gonna or sorry unforgettable is gonna get a vote tommy yeah i thought it was

00:39:44gonna be hard to beat squirrel enchanting the this one is yeah like owen said i want to take it in as

00:39:52like a piece of art at a gallery uh i i think i have to go it is truly an unforgettable piece

00:39:58two votes for unforgettable mook i think i'm starting to realize the same guys that make these

00:40:03graphics also write like weed descriptions yes like a hundred percent um i squirrel squirrel looks

00:40:11hard like that's like a hard image like i would have that squirrel with that background and that

00:40:16exact thing like in a college dorm i feel like but unforgettable is a is a piece of art it's a work

00:40:22of art i'm gonna go or the unforgettable that's fast yeah see i'm i'm gonna go squirrel only 20 bucks

00:40:30i think i read that right for oh beautiful that'll look great above my bed yeah uh another vote for

00:40:36unforgettable t-bob yeah uh unforgettable einstein right the father of the nuclear bomb in many ways

00:40:45i guess laying down some of the original theory behind the creation of such a uh of the ultimate

00:40:51pyrotechnic so i think it's all too appropriate that here he finds himself on a uh a box full of

00:40:58explosives give me unforgettable it's true fucking squirrel i can't believe this guy uh kb

00:41:03the unforgettable it's so nonsensical i don't believe it's the result of human ideation i don't

00:41:13think any man could like conceive of this what is going on why is he in u.s currency why is the title

00:41:20not set why is it the name not centered just in the bottom left what is unfree what i gotta go with

00:41:29that it truly is power feel unforgettable uh unforgettable another vote jay is that definitely

00:41:36an f on unforgettable the spot is so weird barely enough um yeah very many the the other one the

00:41:44squirrel did we talk about how many exclamation points there are after squirrel squirrel it's actually

00:41:50the second box that has had three exclamation points on the dot on the box yeah yeah he's got

00:41:56like what is seeing everyone from the fireworks i think what is squirrel what does squirrel have to

00:42:01do with fireworks though there's so much about it i just i don't totally i think it's like an addd joke

00:42:05you know people say like squirrel when they get distracted does anybody ever ever run into that

00:42:10radio travails oh is that what it's from oh okay the movie up yeah that's what doug the dog says

00:42:17all the time that's right up very good beginning you know kind of forgettable after that in my opinion

00:42:23i couldn't believe where it ended up on the new york times list unlike unforgettable which is could

00:42:28not you couldn't forget it if you tried yeah i'm going with unforgettable unforgettable gonna move on

00:42:33now we have our three seed versus our 14 out of the three seeds fucking insane but we will get to

00:42:39it in a second first up we have gorilla warfare yeah yeah fuck yeah it's so stupid speck up gorilla

00:42:50uh imperial wizard which is like a fine that's the character but also like what the kkk calls their

00:43:01leader that is exactly what they call it imperial you're spot on oh and 500 gram yes right be the kkk

00:43:12fact checker but it is the grand but i think they have no there's a grand there's an imperial

00:43:17there's a grand imperial somewhere in there i mean really a great name for an awful group yeah

00:43:22you have a grand cyclopses they have all weird shit there uh lace combustion

00:43:27i don't understand the combination of like the lace stuff with like also lace but also bombs i don't

00:43:36know at that point i don't know yet uh llama be chilling of course when you see this at the

00:43:42firework shop you gotta be getting llama be chilling uh man cave another one where it's like why would

00:43:47you buy i don't like what is appealing about this is a firework to me flower yeah baseball met

00:43:52uh and a milf nope and you can guess what this the milf stands for here man i love fireworks uh but

00:43:59kisses yeah all that normal stuff when you just want to bang that's a great tagline you just want

00:44:05to bang uh one bag oh come on yeah yes the pit crew it's a great

00:44:17so stupid uh and that's it for this chain so we'll start off from the top again guerrilla warfare

00:44:24uh imperial wizard lace combustion llama be chilling man cave milf and one bad baby and also how can i

00:44:32forget pit crew uh so i'm che which one do you want to move up against our three seed i was just

00:44:38looking for my phone i saw a photo of rex ryan from like this past fourth of july and he was wearing

00:44:45a shirt that was like a fireworks uh on someone said i just want to bang or i'm there you go dude

00:44:51something like that big milf man yeah so yeah i'm going with milf also man i love feet yep i would

00:44:57play with ryan as well yeah yep it fits perfectly for him uh one vote for the milf kb

00:45:04speed through him again uh man gorilla warfare that's funny burial wizard where that's

00:45:14blaze combustion no no no no milf one bad baby uh fuck i got i gotta go one bad baby

00:45:24and don't don't ask me any other question

00:45:27one book for one bad doll i gotta say one bad baby t-bob

00:45:34i'm i feel like my instincts are reaching for reasons not to choose one bad baby i do kind of

00:45:45like like go to man cave i like what they have highlight is what is eddie every man cave needs

00:45:50it looks like a guitar deer on the walls it's some sort of sexy woman it's risen to need the

00:45:57imprisoned woman a woman like a ball chain attached to her a golden motorcycle i believe a gold

00:46:05plate oh a baseball mitt or yeah and gloves records yeah when i do love flower crown it's a picture of

00:46:11a motor yeah poster of a motorcycle you got a buck and what else i think that's it but yeah they got

00:46:17everything you would need a man cave obviously starting with the enslaved woman on i'll actually

00:46:22you know i'm i'm gonna end up with i'm gonna end up with pit crew i'm gonna end up with pit crew

00:46:27i like i actually really like the photo composition here um it looks like an animal i was gonna say

00:46:33yes it has a feeling of animorphs cover or like an old disney movie also of things that could like

00:46:41potentially really harm you pit bulls and and fireworks are kind of hand in hand yeah in a lot

00:46:47of ways so give me give me children yes so give me pit crew to eat one bad baby could i see the right

00:46:53side of pit crew is there room for them to breathe out of oh wow pit crew gives you a preview they give

00:46:59you a preview what it looks like too it's good yeah it does look like it's a preview yeah that's

00:47:04convenient yeah those look nice so you can blow your three pit bulls up as well

00:47:08if you wanted to they could too uh mook i love those are some beautiful dogs

00:47:15those are some beautiful woofers yeah um i'm between pit crew and can you just go to a gorilla

00:47:22warfare one more time i think we're sleeping on girl yeah that's i think gorilla warfare is i mean

00:47:27that's that's actually a great one yeah that guy would fuck up an entire country by himself i'm going

00:47:32gorilla warfare i'm gonna i'm gonna show some love what was the argument like a hundred men versus

00:47:35one gorilla like this guy you don't i don't think you'd need a thousand men to take down this gorilla

00:47:39millions one vote for gorilla warfare yeah a gorilla warfare it's a good pun and a great image uh i

00:47:47could stare at that and giggle to myself ever so i'm going gorilla warfare gorilla warfare owen

00:47:53gorilla warfare gorilla that was the hardest one wow gorilla warfare and gorilla war thing and i looked

00:48:00up oh man and he's like it's exactly what you expect it's a fucking assault rifle uh so gorilla

00:48:07warfare is going to move on and play our number uh three seed which is of course ghetto blaster

00:48:11a black dude blasting a fucking stereo is that like a black abraham lincoln

00:48:20yeah his chin is like it looks like for the crimson chin almost uh yeah starting with you owen

00:48:27he's more like middle eastern looking than black potentially yeah uh so ghetto blaster versus uh

00:48:33gorilla warfare owen uh gorilla warfare obviously gorilla warfare obviously uh one vote for gorilla

00:48:41warfare tommy yeah i i don't know if it's a racist to pick this one or if it's racist to not pick it

00:48:48good point but i'm gonna go with gorilla warfare one vote for another vote for sorry for gorilla

00:48:55warfare uh mooc what does it say on the bottom does that say big johnson i think it sure does yeah

00:49:00that i mean that's pretty sweet um i still i gotta roll with the original gorilla warfare uh that's

00:49:08just a soldier makes me feel patriotic another one we'll sit back to that it's bj201 so he's on

00:49:16his like fourth semester of ghetto blaster three votes for gorilla warfare t-bob

00:49:30yeah i'm going gorilla warfare is ghetto blaster i don't know it's not it's just not just not doing

00:49:35much for me when i look at the box it's this one however yes yeah this fucking guy uh oh he looks he

00:49:43looks like he's like he looks sad yeah he's fucking he's been in the jungle for years fighting insurgents

00:49:50yeah he did not want to get drafted he's just smoking opium and and weed and he's lost himself

00:49:56there's a lot of confirmed kills behind those eyes yes kb yeah this is funny but i i think it is the

00:50:04most appropriate naming and design that i've seen yet like as tommy said like the pawn makes sense

00:50:10um the picture corresponds and i guess that's all you need so gorilla warfare is going to move on but

00:50:17jay yeah gorilla warfare i mean that's a a much better you don't want the guy on the other box had

00:50:22like a boom box if you're buying fireworks you want guns yeah you want the heavy duty shit not

00:50:28like loud music good point uh so gorilla warfare is going to move on now we have the 10 seed versus

00:50:34the 7 seed uh of course camel toe that's good that sucks it's terrible it's so bad it's it's so bad

00:50:45is that the cigarette um cigarette look on that font for sure yeah uh so camel toe is going up against road rage

00:50:52some old lady with a fucking bat uh starting with you che which one do you think is better road rage or camel toe

00:51:00uh road rage looks like the worst with that woman with a pat uh it's kind of a funny uh thing if you think about um

00:51:11i'd beat her fucking ass yeah probably uh yeah i guess road rage because camel toe i think is a

00:51:19quick laugh i think you have to think about road rage for a second be like why is this old woman

00:51:22hanging out the window with her window with her back fires a lot of deep thinking

00:51:28they call this one a way homer yeah you get it yeah so i also like the the font of road rage a lot

00:51:34better do you guys ever play um simpsons road rage no i know road rash road rash yes

00:51:40absolutely motorcycle racing game where you could like hit each other with chains and shit and

00:51:45you could like kick people yep oh that was the best road rash was sick driving down the highway

00:51:49next to somebody you just kick their motorcycle they'd fly off the cliff i had to play it in my

00:51:53friend's house so i wasn't allowed to have road rash ah great game that's this font reminds me of

00:51:58it so road rage one vote for road rage kb

00:52:04i have to go road rage the the camel toe is one of the worst expressions of art that i've ever seen

00:52:10i hate it so much her beach background i hate it i don't even associate a beach with camels uh

00:52:17to end two votes for road rage got hairy feet for yeah or maybe no that might be saying she's got

00:52:23her toes in the sand she's relaxing it did look like you know going to light day yeah light hair yeah

00:52:27uh t-bop uh camel toe i've i've made a career on sexual innuendo um i think she has nice toes

00:52:38i i appreciate again getting a preview of what they actually look like on the side of the box

00:52:43true especially in the day and age in which you look at these boxes and you have no idea what you're

00:52:48buying uh yeah give me give me camel toe one vote for camel it's crazy every box doesn't have that it

00:52:55should no all yeah fishermen white fishermen's an understated company they're fishermen's fireworks

00:53:02they're yeah they're they're a more respectable company subtle yeah very subtle company for sure

00:53:08uh yeah i'm not a foot guy but i can't stop looking at camel toe i don't know what it is

00:53:15that is encapsulating me road rage makes me angry road rage makes me want to like kick her

00:53:21fucking i don't yeah i don't like how confident she is what are you gonna do yeah you're not gonna

00:53:25do shit bitch look at that bat that bat it's a light bat that's a photoshopped bat there's no

00:53:29way to hold that fucking bat uh road rage makes me angry i'm gonna go camel toe do you think she

00:53:35could hit a ball out of the infield no no chance no come on uh two to two right now tommy yeah

00:53:41similar to mook i'm not a foot guy i've always said go back to the foot zoom in yeah get in

00:53:48i've i wish i had a foot fetish i'm jealous of people with a foot fetish being able to just get

00:53:52off on that you see a woman in flip-flops walking down the street like it's a good point it's like yeah

00:53:58it's like the same thing as like a guy being able to see nipples right like they get to see it all the

00:54:01time but this foot might be this is my gateway drug to a foot it's a gateway foot on it i'm liking this

00:54:11foot oh wow so i'm gonna go with camel toe i like the idea too that if this foot like really existed

00:54:19like that that there would be a tiny little camel head with its tiny little camel tongue that could

00:54:26lick your toes wow you could just play footsie and just have that little camel tongue just spitting

00:54:31all over you right now it is by saturday night three to two in favor of camel toe um believe it or not

00:54:38one of these two was actually my nickname in high school whoa it was not a pun using rotor it was just

00:54:47camel toe it's a funny nickname for a dude road rage yeah camel toe uh my

00:54:56pussy lips were always just like

00:55:00i went to an all-boys school and i really fat pussy lips

00:55:05that tends to get you where's oldie yeah oh god i forgot about that was so gross uh oldies like

00:55:11you you saw that right now what the oldie had a picture of him where he just like had a hiked up

00:55:15pants and it was the weirdest camel toe yeah it was uh so what are you going for oh camel toe

00:55:21you're off camel toe yeah that means camel toe is gonna move oh uh now we have our two seed versus

00:55:27our 15 seed chain the last chain of the game i think this is a good one oh yeah gtx 3300 how can

00:55:36with e honda look at that little dick pouch hanging out at the bottom that's

00:55:41far too big of a pouch for them all right that's oh is that what it is a pouch it's

00:55:45the diaper thing that they oh yeah the but yeah gtx 3300 i don't know what it totally has to do with

00:55:52the uh sumo wrestlers not to disqualify but are these fireworks is 35 it's got the fire yeah

00:56:00it says up no no up top it's misspelled it says fire walker oh my god

00:56:03uh great point i thought you're not doing an accent yeah i thought you're trying to do a bun

00:56:09fire walks like i don't know the idea uh gtx 30 yeah i don't totally get what that's to do with that

00:56:14is that maybe intentional no poop um is obviously another one just do i guess you get right to the

00:56:20point with that one pyro what are we looking at with poop wait what is that's what is that that is

00:56:26just that's a sparkler i think is that a box of no that's just you just like that little top and

00:56:32it's just gonna what is the packaging so that plastic i think the package is plastic this thing

00:56:37is like you light this and it goes off like a shower sparks it's my understanding of it yeah

00:56:42poop uh pyro viagra uh another one it's already it's not necessarily made of fireworks it is but

00:56:47like it's one of those ones you throw on the ground uh sassy yeah which another one for another

00:56:53banger from brothers how much powder 5 000 again on the five thousand powder let's go

00:57:02600 shot you in the title

00:57:09another triple punctuation yeah yeah snazzy from the same one that's a brother's piece

00:57:16i've ever seen one 792 oh wow 792 another one brothers heavyweights uh tears for fear

00:57:25oh pun on the song or band but like i don't like let's see faces towards spectators please wait

00:57:32you shoot this at the spectators what does that mean okay i don't know if it wants me to face this

00:57:38panel or the panel it's pointing to towards the spectators either just a bit confusing like how

00:57:43there's popcorn type instructions on it what is it what is the performance disclaimer

00:57:49first 15 rows are brocade blue last that might be like a fireworks turn like a row or something like

00:57:57that and the last brocade is with blue yeah well of course world class and 500 grand 500 kind of the

00:58:03tears for fear uh the angry wife frankie with the touch of psycho the classic one that the husband

00:58:11buys that and comes back to the car with the way that check this out he explodes yeah uh the ultimate

00:58:17man card uh commanders which this is this is the duck dynasty guys i'm yes that actually makes more

00:58:25since it looks like a robertson yeah i've never seen one the ultimate man card uh okay so that's it

00:58:31for this the 15 seed chain game so we'll start out with you this time owen which one do you want to

00:58:35see go up against our number two seed uh gtx 3300 oh yeah yeah i was just gonna see both of the brothers

00:58:40yes poop uh pyro viagra sassy say what uh say what snazzy tears for fear for me snazzy snazzy or sassy

00:58:52snazzy snazzy specifically yes okay types of men in this world

00:58:56you like snazzy or sassy or sassy women uh one vote for snazzy uh tommy that's tough i think i'm

00:59:06gonna go with the angry wife i like the tagline uh what it was a cranky with a touch of psycho

00:59:12yeah the plate doesn't even make sense like i guess they're inferring that she broke the plate but like

00:59:17she broke the plate it would cut in half i think that's your blood on the plate

00:59:21like i think she's served you like a p like hannibal lecter style she's serving you your own

00:59:28i bet this one gets a good laugh at the barbecue amongst the husbands oh yeah it says uh she's

00:59:33explosive on the right yeah yeah i'll go with this uh one vote for the angry wife left 42 shots 42

00:59:43shots i've been waiting for 41 so i could sing bruce you'll be waiting for a little bit i think uh

00:59:49uh on one vote for the angry wife mook i gotta say the the brothers know what they're doing

00:59:54i mean those guys brothers i feel like they have to be russian

00:59:57and oh and i i hate i'm a sassy man i i think the sassy legs and i love it for you actually

01:00:06yeah thank you man i mean look uh both legs you know they're both they're both beautiful but i'm

01:00:14a sassy man here i'm i'm liking what i'm seeing i'm gonna go sassy they feel a little classier

01:00:19than snazzy does one vote for sassy uh hi i i just i love say what like it's not even close for me i like

01:00:28cats and that little adorable little just mind boggled kitten like what how the fuck did i end up

01:00:36on this box what fireworks you're gonna blow me up yeah give me give me give me say what well one vote

01:00:42for say what kb i'm a snazzy guy wow snazzy respect they weren't all leather is that why

01:00:50could be all leather

01:00:59okay uh i'm gonna go with tears for fear but i have been actually looking for an opportunity to

01:01:04talk about sumo i just sent you guys all a text i was walking by this park bench and something

01:01:10caught my eye you typically see like in memory of uh of a certain person and this uh nameplate

01:01:20was so outrageous the name that i was just like wow what a name and then i looked on it and the

01:01:26first thing under it the first off the guy died at 36 so you know obviously thoughts and prayers his

01:01:30family but first thing under world sumo champion yeah and this is just in the burbs of illinois

01:01:37greatly missed son husband and father very sad but holy cow this like rocked my world uh and i looked

01:01:44him up he's legit this is a legit sumo guy just i don't even know if he's from illinois i guess

01:01:49his family's here maybe um he died in la in february of 2020 of like a in illness probably

01:01:56covid yeah um but friendly but yeah this was uh i just looking for an opportunity to talk about

01:02:03memorial yamba job ulam by our great name mongolian mongolian there's nine letters in the first and

01:02:11last name none of them really make sense order wise but it sounds like a long guitar yeah uh so on that

01:02:17note are you a sassy or a snazzy he's unfortunately is it tears for tears for fear does line up here

01:02:26that snazzy yep move on uh hey ggs respect the snazzy boys you're respecting the sassy boys i think and

01:02:34that's going up against our number two seed which is of course bang bros oh hell yeah oh

01:02:38yeah bang bros symbol like the name i don't i needed better packaging i agree yeah but let's

01:02:45sound it is just their logo though it is the bang bros logo with a bullet hole in it like in from

01:02:51raccoon fireworks nothing i associate with right cover a whiplash in the background yeah and

01:02:56i get the drums it's banging here so bang bros versus snazzy starting with you chay

01:03:06before all the free porn sites were available there was a five-week period in college where

01:03:12i had a bang bros password what a time what a time to be alive just we had a browser's password

01:03:19or one time unbelievable so um anything with that type of logo is going to have my attention and my

01:03:24support uh give me bang bros one vote for bang bros kb i'm a snazzy guy

01:03:33why are they all leathered out uh one vote for keep saying all you gotta stop saying all that

01:03:40leather boots they got leather oh i see skin son skin bro fucking skin the bass crack on that one

01:03:48yeah well i like how the top isn't their upper half it's just their leg yeah there's a lot of

01:03:54faces and torsos yeah it might just be men you have no idea i was gonna say the one all the way in

01:03:59the right looks kind of like a man dude and if it is power yeah and that's not all leather

01:04:08so one to one right now keep up i like the idea of the bang bros having like the whiplash background

01:04:17and now i'm imagining jk simmons on like uh like a porn parody of whiplash where the person's

01:04:25banging the other girl and he keeps saying not quite my tempo not quite my tempo but no i'm gonna

01:04:32go i'm gonna go uh i'm gonna go snazzy two to two right now uh or sorry to one you you had both

01:04:39that bang bros and you had snazzy might or no kb it's snazzy yeah kb and shay had snazzy you're one

01:04:44for bang bros did you guys see the clip that johnny sins recently revealed his body count

01:04:49no it's seven right way lower than you would think it's seven way lower than i well it was 2500

01:04:58but to put that into perspective wilt chamberlain slept with eight times as many people as johnny

01:05:02sins well i mean i think haven't we always kind of called wilt's estimation into question though

01:05:07yeah because he'd have to be having sex with like two or three people a day or something oh

01:05:13i would anticipate that be like giant orgies yeah oh yeah i guess that's fair i guess that's fair you

01:05:18knock out like three weeks worth in a night i don't know if the blouses could support giant orgies back

01:05:24then it's but in the 70s though they had the booger sugar was pure as they said yeah 2500 is a

01:05:31his is is a lot i i honestly would have expected johnny sins i mean he does it for a living

01:05:37there's only so many are him are him and kiss us still together no idea this is actually the first

01:05:43thing i know about his personal life you never heard of kiss of sins no his wife and erstwhile

01:05:48porn partner no she's very good looking you're knowing johnny sins wife you you might need help

01:05:53i could give you my top five male power stars right now i was a i was personally i was a kieran lee

01:06:05man myself over johnny but johnny's great as well i think i remember when johnny sins is that uh frank

01:06:10the tank once fell for one of those like uh in like a soldier's uniform and like frank the tank can

01:06:17you say salute to my brother he's in the military and it was just johnny sins in an army outfit

01:06:20like salute to him what a what a great veteran i mean pat fell for johnny sins and brandon walk

01:06:25did brandon yeah teddy buttfuck i forgot about him the best is uh do you all remember old miss one

01:06:32year for their football games uh did a they were creating in stadium cups to honor uh first responders

01:06:40and somebody sent in a johnny sins doctor picture and it ended up on the uh on the honorific

01:06:46that's awesome if you're the guy that cleared that no better sign that you're not a pervert

01:06:51you're like oh i just don't watch porn and they're like what are you going to do like

01:06:53tour you're going to fire me for that true yeah uh so right now we are two to one in favor of snazzy

01:06:59mooc yeah if bang bros had johnny sins on the graphic yeah damn to be a home run automatic yeah

01:07:06uh can you just go to snazzy again shooting fireworks out of his dick yeah dude they can call it the money

01:07:11shot the money yeah um snazzy this is just like classic like clark or i forget the movie uh a

01:07:19christmas story when they get the lamp of the leg and you stop looking at it and you you don't even

01:07:24need more you just like the leg and the leather and uh uh i i'm i'm a leg man so i'm gonna go snazzy

01:07:30snazzy uh gonna have three votes right now to the one for bang bros yeah i'm quite frankly disgusted

01:07:35with the creators of bang bros i mean they took you know probably one of those basic oh bang bros

01:07:40ha ha and they didn't even make it funny they they could have you're right yeah no humor the ip

01:07:46to the bang bros firework that's a big responsibility great power comes great responsibility and they

01:07:53blew it so i guess i'm a snazzy man could put like money shot on it somewhere probably there's a lot of

01:07:58things this is disgusting i mean i guess the drums are squirting hopefully that's our squirting

01:08:03you know what i mean oh that's what i do uh owen uh for what for bang bros for snazzy oh i thought

01:08:13i voted snazzy already of course i mean i didn't even need that they're even number one snazzy man all

01:08:17the way through all legs no leather all leather baby little leather daddy's over here uh that means

01:08:23that snazzy is gonna move on so now we're going to move into our playoffs starting out with

01:08:28for motherfucking warm greetings how could i forget oh mom yes let me get my work my way back to warm

01:08:35greetings just so we can get one more little look i don't remember god damn it it's i'll never forget

01:08:40warm greeting warm greetings uh which is going up against our number nine seed uh ladies night out

01:08:47oh fuck tough one just to give you guys a little refresher so owen ladies night out versus warm

01:08:51greetings ladies night out fun flirty fresh i'm having a good time with this basket

01:08:58yeah for sure what's that how did they fade her out of this like it's just we gotta get these babies

01:09:03off screen one vote for ladies night out tom warm greeting for me oh no 16 seed and warm oh yeah for

01:09:14all the reasons i understand and walker on the left fun flirty warm greeting

01:09:21one vote to one vote right now luke i gotta go ladies night out the fact that like anyone in the

01:09:27fireworks graphics game thought that yeah let's throw a trademark on ladies night out

01:09:33that's ours to me and then just claim this random ant uh it's ladies night out for sure

01:09:39two to one right now i feel like the same people who told wallow and gilly they couldn't get into

01:09:45cultural hydration people saying you can't get into female fireworks yeah oh true they told them

01:09:54they tried to try how to break barriers uh is it t bob yeah yeah um as sad as i am going to be

01:10:02to say goodbye to warm greeting 61 shots uh ladies night out ladies night out from the duck

01:10:11wait it's the red move it's like maybe the matriarch of the duck dynasty family is that who this lady is

01:10:16maybe oh oh oh wait is that that makes it way less is that phil's wife that's funny is that phil's

01:10:23wife no i think a lot worse i gotta i gotta fucking look this up i also want to revoke my vote in the

01:10:30previous round for ladies night out that would fuck everything up yeah that my world view and

01:10:35it would explain the duck commander's logo yeah just entirely too much you know if i had a wife

01:10:40that beautiful i'd put her on my fireworks you know oh mother fucker i'm now actually thinking

01:10:45back to that show and i that is like absolutely that woman that is her damn it it definitely is

01:10:50that's give me a greeting i gotta i'll be right back give me warm greeting y'all keep going

01:10:55gonna swap to warm greetings that means we are two to two right now kb

01:10:58even if we like we know who that is ladies night out is still pretty funny

01:11:02to call a firework um i i hate warm greetings it's not funny it's horror it's horrific

01:11:10yeah warm greetings we're making it more palatable by making it plural it's warm

01:11:15greetings warm greetings ah it does something to my stomach yeah uh so you're gonna go with warm uh

01:11:23ladies not out still yeah jay i think the fact that this is the matriarch of the duck dynasty

01:11:31family makes it potentially plausible that she could set off these fireworks by herself

01:11:36with her gal so give me ladies ladies night out now it's realistic yeah ladies night out is gonna

01:11:42move on now we have our number it was our number 13 playing game you guys remember a little a little

01:11:47puppy called bad like crab oh yeah been a minute bad like crab he was in our 13c there he is bad

01:11:55like crab uh who's going up against our number five seed right from the beginning torment

01:12:01which is a brutal one to look at every single time uh so start with you this time chay torment

01:12:07versus bad like crab oof i'll go with bad like crab torment is just so tough to look at

01:12:13one vote for bad like crab kb

01:12:18yeah torment doesn't even have like the amount of powder we don't know anything about what's in

01:12:23that box so i gotta go torment more of the curiosity bones in that box you could light up torment and

01:12:30it like sets off drones in like the middle east uh so two votes for bad like crab uh we'll go to

01:12:39you first mooc i'm gonna i'm gonna go bad like crab for sure uh i just think that it's so ambiguous

01:12:46i i would buy it if we're going for you know i'm looking at it and what i'm gonna buy i'm gonna buy

01:12:51bad like crab so it's bad like crab versus torment team up uh i'm going torment i'm going i'm going

01:12:59torment here yeah the um something about the hellish iconography overcomes the uh absurdity and

01:13:11randomness of bad like crab for me speaks to more of what i'm looking for in a firework yep

01:13:18whispered in his ear by the deep i i think like a fine piece of art torment has aged well throughout

01:13:24the bracket it was the first one we saw and i thought they were all going to be like this scary

01:13:29uh and like the wacky ones would stand out but they're mostly wacky huh there's just torments uh

01:13:35and i think that makes it stand out we're getting about einstein but we'll get yeah we'll get to him

01:13:42but yeah torment really i like that there's no details as to what is in that box i'm not even

01:13:47certain they're fireworks uh so i'm gonna go with torment two to uh three in favor of bad

01:13:53like crab right now owen yeah it's torment i agree with tommy you don't know what's in it

01:13:58kyle said kyle said the same it could be omaha steaks you open up torment you get warm greeting

01:14:06oh no but one thing i i do regret voting early on i was going for a quick last back to the car to

01:14:13show the buddies these these can be set pieces for homes and apartments now that i can torment

01:14:19unforgettable easily these don't have to be thrown in the ground no keep that packaging brother oh

01:14:25yeah it's torment that means we are three to three and i have to break the tie i think between these

01:14:29two bad like crab makes no sense to me torment like you i'd be so excited to set this off if i

01:14:36saw this in like a the stack of fireworks that is just like nothing yeah the most dud fireworks of

01:14:43all like they're pink and purple like i'm thinking from fourth of july like when i was looking at the

01:14:46stack of fireworks which one i wanted to light up the most if i saw bad like crabby like let's get

01:14:49that out of the way early because it's probably not going to be that big uh but when i saw torment

01:14:53i'd be like that's a showstopper that one's going on the end of the night so i'll go with torment

01:14:57which means we're going to we're going to have and to go in our semi-final here torment versus ladies

01:15:02night out match up the lie of first goliath torment versus ladies night out owen

01:15:10my worst nightmare with torment is they blew it all blew all the budget on this this beautiful work

01:15:18of art and then you open it up and it's just one of those pieces of gum that zaps the person trying

01:15:22to take it whole box is empty it's just one of those um ladies night out it took a little air out of

01:15:31the tires fine yeah it was it was the matriarch of the family just her if she put herself it takes

01:15:38it out if he did it it's it's a it's romantic of course i don't want to see torment go i'll do that

01:15:45you will vote for torment tommy yeah torment as well that that being the duck dynasty matriarch

01:15:50ruined that for me then you're just a fucking weirdo who gets fireworks made by the duck dynasty

01:15:56people yeah yeah no commander is actually behind these fireworks yeah on camera talent

01:16:03or is this her one cameo is being on the firework i'm going torment this sickens me this one quite

01:16:10frankly another one for torment uh mook yeah i really wish that was just like a random random

01:16:17woman that had no idea she was on the front of a firework packaging in wisconsin it's got to be

01:16:23torment it's got to be torment it kind of wish it was almost like you remember the guy we found for

01:16:27around gary yeah that guy that random image guy like i wish it was like that just a random stock

01:16:33image person uh t-bob yeah it just uh ladies night out now reeks of kind of pandering capitalism yeah

01:16:40trying to corner the market on an underserved but but no with no actual real um pure intentions to

01:16:48do so just trying to build the duck commander empire whereas torment is here just to fucking

01:16:54blow you away when you see these things light up in the sky make you question your sanity

01:16:59and the very fabric of reality so that means we're gonna it torment's gonna end up winning this thing

01:17:04but kb oh it's torment it's motherfucking torment okay i'm repping for the ladies ladies

01:17:11ladies one time you don't do it from one time uh torment though is gonna move on the other side we

01:17:19have oh boy i just i don't even want to say it out loud again i just want to let you guys take a

01:17:24good old peek at gorilla warfare yeah gorilla warfare uh poor gorilla but yeah i will tell you what this

01:17:31gorilla is quite poor in the fact that it is going up against just oh no this is a championship level

01:17:36matchup yeah unforgettable oh fuck unforgettable versus gorilla warfare starting with you che

01:17:45i mean when you're getting fireworks to light them up you want something that not only is loud

01:17:53puts on a show but creates memories something that's unforgettable i think we're gonna go with

01:17:58einstein it's gonna go with old einstein versus gorilla warfare kb yeah this is uh zero hype pure

01:18:06results um they aren't even trying to flaunt the unforgettable it's just in plain text on the

01:18:12lower left like i believe them now so i gotta go that uh another one for unforgettable t bob

01:18:20yeah i show me uh show me the gorillas again show me gorilla warfare again is are there two different

01:18:26gorillas on the box or is it is it one grill he's doing different different emotions same

01:18:31different faces one gorilla yeah i believe 14 right yeah it's the same guy he's the same gorilla is it

01:18:40just a different angle of the chin yeah different structure i mean that is a bit different structure

01:18:46it seems like on the front there maybe it's just angle the picture um the gorilla's dead eyes do speak

01:18:54to a haunted military infused past but if you look at einstein's eyes and you really look at them

01:19:03they appear to be staring into the the depths of your soul oh yeah like like they they see everything

01:19:10they know me as soon as i look at this box and i know it and uh yeah give me unforgettable unforgettable

01:19:17fuck this is tough because i you know i've i've been an advocate for gorilla veterans across the

01:19:22country for a long time now and uh it looks like he's been through a lot but that i can't stop looking

01:19:28at him yeah i can't stop looking at einstein i'm going unforgettable going unforgettable yeah you have

01:19:34to ask yourself the question when you have people over for a fun little fourth of july barbecue do you

01:19:38want them to have a cheeky little laugh at gorilla warfare or do you want to take your guest's

01:19:43world view and flip it up that's what will happen if you come up with unforgettable you might not

01:19:50even set them off like yeah look at this might be the show yeah i mean what it is just gonna stare

01:19:58at this picture for a little while and that will i think move people to a place far beyond gorilla

01:20:03unfortunately unforgettable owen everything tommy just said yeah um but before we lose gorilla warfare i

01:20:11would like if any listeners know how to do this uh replace chris kyle with one of the apes from the

01:20:17kingdom of the planet

01:20:20survivor american sniper yeah what's the movie that just came out with with like

01:20:26oh wait the monkey one like oh better man yeah better man yeah dude with chris kyle yeah

01:20:33better man's fucking good i texted kinjack i watched it on the plane that's like it that's

01:20:38like a nine out of ten movie dude i'm fucking incredible i had no idea who robbie williams was

01:20:42he's the millennium guy right i don't know i knew nothing about him before the movie i didn't know

01:20:47he was like biopic material he's definitely not in the u.s but he uh he in europe he is uh so now we

01:20:53have our 15 versus uh or rather our 15 seed winner snazzy for you uh freaks uh which is going up against

01:21:00our number seven seed which is camel toe battle of the fetishes battle of big time

01:21:09camel toe versus snazzy starting with you owen uh not camel toe i didn't even like the joke

01:21:15it's going up against your where you're snazzy of course dude snazzy i mean you get like 16 pairs of

01:21:24of legs on this box come on the deal and it's a snazzy three or four times i mean it's fun it's

01:21:32flirty and it's from the brother

01:21:37another one or one for snazzy time yeah i'm not going camel toe for the joke i'm going camel toe for

01:21:43that beautiful foot yeah come on you're talking you know 16 pairs of legs we're getting

01:21:49fucking 30 toes yeah you're getting 30 toes so i'm going yeah one to one right now mook yeah i

01:22:00think tommy called it and called it last round that is a gateway foot and i might be more interested

01:22:05in feet now because i'm camel toe so i'm gonna go camel toe no two votes for camel toe t bob i'm going

01:22:11camel toe i don't i don't i don't necessarily love how the brothers just remade their sassy packaging

01:22:19kind of low effort just by adding leather skirt oh well they're no they're different

01:22:23but the leather came before snazzy i think um yeah no i liked camel toe from the start i actually do

01:22:32like the joke and i love cigarettes and so yeah give me camel toe yep big time win for you there uh kb

01:22:40yeah give me the box of military grade snazzy and send it to the tournament of champions

01:22:45you pack it all snazzy uh so that means right now that we are three to two you could tie it up or

01:22:53send one home jay i'm going camel toe i just want to see tommy look at these feet more yeah

01:22:59we'll tell camel toe is going to beat out snazzy so that means that we have camel toe

01:23:04versus a great run great run for snazzy yeah 15c that's very that's impressive tip of the cap

01:23:09tip of the cap to the brothers viral moments and that's yeah tip of the cap to the brothers for

01:23:15that one so that means you have camel toe going up against unforgettable i mean and here's where

01:23:22the toes journey ends yes starting with you jay unforgettable unforgettable let me pull him up

01:23:28one more time our good friend yeah let's just look at him unforgettable kitty you will never forget

01:23:34me yeah it's unforgettable another one for unforgettable t bob yeah unforgettable unforgettable

01:23:43mook it's unforgettable and i want to touch his cheeks and and hug the man

01:23:48unforgettable tommy yeah the foot is hot but unforgettable tommy real quick is this your first

01:23:55time like deriving excitement from a yeah from a woman's feet yeah oh wow i'll never forget this

01:24:01well you want your rated turn gateway foot gateway foot i i this moves me more than a foot ever

01:24:08could yeah unforgettable owen yeah it's unforgettable it makes me feel so many things it makes me feel

01:24:15poor for not knowing if there is a bill with einstein

01:24:22you could have told me there was and i'd be like yeah for oh yeah for sure or something like

01:24:26that but um yeah i want to watch hoppenheimer i want to i kind of want to kiss him like a little

01:24:42smooch he's leaning in yeah he's coming to where it's out it's it's it's up to you as the audience i

01:24:47guess just embrace inside love the women our finale is going to be unforgettable torment

01:24:53i think i want to fucking match unforgettable versus torment is our finals starting with you

01:25:00is there a world where we can hyphenate keep both names in the marriage you could

01:25:05yeah combine the both in one fire like it the way you read it unforgettable torment

01:25:12um oh man can i see torment one more time let's go take a peek at torment number five i believe

01:25:19all right i am i'm comfortable saying i'm forgettable after after seeing torment one

01:25:25more time yeah i just had to make sure that wasn't anything yeah unforgettable i think every step of

01:25:31the way has been a powerhouse it took our breath away when we first saw it it continues to take our

01:25:37breath away at every glance quite frankly so i'll go unforgettable and i will never forget you'll never

01:25:44forget unforgettable uh mook i think torment is beautiful and torment is everything a firework

01:25:51should be i think unforgettable is is speaking to all of us on levels that we can't emotionally

01:25:55comprehend right and i have to go unforgettable uh three recap pod yeah recap pod unforgettable

01:26:06from now let's just check in i might need to take a day tomorrow

01:26:10unforgettable another vote t bob it's interesting because we kind of have the entire

01:26:19ying and yang of human existence represented here in the final right where

01:26:25torment speaks to our kind of darker nature where we end up what we tend to do with one another whereas

01:26:32unforgettable kind of evokes feeling of a brighter more utopian future i don't know which great things are

01:26:38possible unforgettable unforgettable i don't think this is utopian i think it's i don't even think you can

01:26:44describe it in a word i i was almost thinking scroll to the left a little is that supposed to be like

01:26:51the atomic bomb going off in the background that cloud a little halo it's something that it's something

01:26:57that we our brains can't comprehend right it's deeper than that it's like one of those like

01:27:01light spectrum things we don't get yet i mean and einstein and i'm gonna go uh i'm gonna do a

01:27:09torment i'm gonna do a torment again it is the it is an in a sea of madness the clean packaging of

01:27:17torment will actually stick with me a bit more than einstein's uh pensive visage bob you're a brave

01:27:24man i'm quite frankly afraid to vote against unforgettable

01:27:29the demons behind it will not look at that they will take that as a slight

01:27:35what do you think about that oh what'd you say in this cheek there's like a high heel if you tilt

01:27:39your head this way no oh wait you're saying it's in chat later yeah draw it out i mean i'm sure like

01:27:44almost you know when they fold up dollar bills and all of a sudden you see like the twin towers or

01:27:47something you remember that from middle oh those scary days in middle school uh but there there's all

01:27:52that stuff all over the dollar bill kb you could send home unforgettable or you could keep torment

01:27:56alive yeah tommy hit it dead on i don't want to mess with the karmic retribution that could come

01:28:04with voting against unforgettable dudes in suits or man well-deserved silver medalist yeah yeah i'm

01:28:11really happy yeah yeah glad they're on the podium i think we had the right to i think we do definitely

01:28:17i think by the time this episode airs there's a chance we see a new story t bob has died

01:28:22for voting against unforgettable so if the podcast doesn't come out or it's delayed

01:28:27you know no t bob will be gone and no one will know he existed that's because unforgettable

01:28:33from the history book somehow like it'll be like he was erased from the existence uh chay yeah

01:28:38unforgettable unforgettable it's gonna win again that means the winner of the bracket episode 180 is

01:28:44unforgettable again well-deserved win here for unforgettable and i think you guys are taking

01:28:48through all the there's a shit ton of chain options it felt wrong to not include any of them

01:28:52because there were so many of these oh that was fun uh so again episode 180 winner is unforgettable we

01:28:58we'll see you guys next week

01:29:07you

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