In Praise of Love by Terence Rattigan

Oldtuberadio

In Praise of Love Lydia knows she is dying, but her thoughts are for her self-centred husband and their son. If only she can bring them together ... Sebastian Cruttwell .... Anthony Quayle Lydia Cruttwell .... Muriel Pavlow Mark Walters .... Robert Beatty Joey Cruttwell .... John Bull TV announcer .... Brian Carroll TV actor .... Godfrey Kenton TV actor .... Danny Schiller Directed by Peter King With Brian Carroll, Godfrey Kenton, Danny Schiller First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in April 1980     Do you enjoy the variety on Oldtuberadio? Like, Share and Subscribe to be notified of our new shows #radio #crime #thriller #drama To Support this channel please visit https://www.buymeacoffee.com/oldtuberadio https://ko-fi.com/oldtuberadio98 https://www.patreon.com/oldtuberadio https://locals.com/Oldtuberadio

Transcript

00:00:00Oh hello darling. Didn't hear you come in. Been back long? No not very. The heating has gone

00:00:23wrong. Has it? I see in my room. It seems all right. Yes it's on. These books are in a terrible

00:00:33bloody mess. Want a drink? Oh yeah thank you darling. What kept you so long? Oh yeah of course

00:00:39old Dr. Ziegler. What did he say? Ziegler. He's very pleased indeed. Oh what did I tell you? Darling.

00:00:47Darling? Yes? Darling our books are in chaos again. Norman Mailer in the poetry section.

00:00:55Why? I can't believe it. Sapper? That's for Bernie. Darling couldn't Mrs. McIntyre? Mrs. Higgins.

00:01:09You hadn't turned it on. What on? The heat in your room. Oh really? Plain talk about

00:01:17sex. Next to Peter Pan. That's mine. For God's sake. I've put on ten pounds in the last

00:01:27four weeks. Have you? Have you ready? I was told by Uncle Constantine to show you this. Uncle

00:01:36who? Dr. Ziegler. My fellow Estonian. Oh the old boy with a funny accent. How long has

00:01:44he been over here? As long as me? 28 years? I. I. As long as I. I. I. I. I. I. I don't

00:01:50understand this at all. What is it? It's a blood test. My last one. Oh. Well it's all

00:01:54Greek to me. Except that I know Greek. Just read what's written after each item. Normal.

00:02:01Normal. Normal. Near normal. Normal. Normal. Sounds like a very dull party. Oh. And there

00:02:11are under general remarks. Dramatic progress fully maintained. Further weekly blood counts

00:02:18may be discontinued. Oh darling. Isn't that marvelous? Isn't old Ziegfeld pleased? I told

00:02:25you. Delighted. From now on I can lead an absolutely normal life. Oh. No dieting. No

00:02:31wagon. Late nights. Anything I like. Yeah. That's wonderful. Wants me to have a holiday

00:02:36though? Oh yes. Yes. Of course. Well where are we now? April? Well three months time. I'll

00:02:42take you somewhere. Oh. I lost my place now. No. Here it is. All right darling. I'll

00:02:47be about half an hour. You won't. Won't what? Be about half an hour. Mark's due here five

00:02:52minutes ago. Mark? Mark Walters? Mm-hmm. No. He's in Hong Kong. Oh no. That's right. He's

00:02:59back. I spoke to him yesterday. And asked him to dinner. Oh. On a Thursday? My copy.

00:03:05No. I couldn't have. You did. What's more you asked him to be sure and come an hour early.

00:03:10Oh damn it. Blast. Why didn't you stop me? I remember now. I remember perfectly. You

00:03:17just sat there with your vapid smile on and did nothing. Nothing. There's loyalty for

00:03:22you. I thought you must have an easy one this week. Easy? Two sodding professors on Shakespeare's

00:03:28imagery. Easy. Where is Mark? I'll find him. I'll put him off. Oh it's far too late darling.

00:03:34No. When he arrives I'll tell him you've got to meet a deadline. He's a writer too. Two? Don't

00:03:40insult me please. I wouldn't mind your selling a million copies before your publication date

00:03:45and the film rights for half a million sight unseen. I see. I see. So that's going to be

00:03:51thrown in my face. My novels sell 5,000 and make me about 700 pounds in all. Oh shut up. You

00:03:58don't write novels. I wish you did but you don't. 25 years ago you wrote a masterpiece and followed

00:04:04it up four years later with another. Oh the second was a mess. It was as good as the first. It was a

00:04:11mess. It was only that they all turned on you for not writing out of the night all over again. My

00:04:17god if Mark Walters took his notices as seriously as you did. Then his research staff and his hack

00:04:24writers would all be out of a job and Mark would still be a multi-millionaire. Oh god the injustice

00:04:30of it all. Well I'll have to work late that's all and you know what that does to my bladder. Oh uh talking

00:04:37of novels? Darling are those notes for a new novel I came on in there the other day? I noticed that

00:04:45they've been disturbed. Is there nothing I can keep concealed in this house? Ah so you concealed

00:04:51them did you? Why? Because I knew that once you got your x-ray eyes on them you'd be bouncing up and

00:04:57down clapping your little hands and shouting oh goody goody he's writing a novel. Oh goody goody he is.

00:05:02No he's not. Not necessarily at all. He may well decide to give it up because it stinks or decide

00:05:10that he hasn't got time for it anyway. Oh time isn't important. You can make that. What utter balls

00:05:15you do talk sometimes. Oh god. You go in. I'll explain. No no no I'd better say hello.

00:05:24Where are you? Mark, Mark darling this is wonderful. Oh wonderful for me too. Just let me get my breath right.

00:05:32Don't they have elevators in the ending? Elevators? Hell, lives. As a resident I should remember hello

00:05:40Sebastian. Oh Mark. Still murdering literary reputation? Yours is safe. These days no one gives me notices.

00:05:47Even my friend on the Cleveland plane dealer who used to find me compulsive now just says another war to him.

00:05:54Are these presents? That's what it is. Oh this is yours. Oh Mark you should. Of course he should.

00:06:01It's his duty to redistribute his wealth. Mind rattle this. Don't rattle this. Oh as good as that eh?

00:06:08Well I'll open it later. Do you mind? I've got a little work to finish off. Lydia forgot it was my copy day.

00:06:15He forgot? Oh look. If I'm a nuisance here why don't I take Lydia out for dinner and leave you to work?

00:06:20And how do I get dinner? Couldn't you scramble yourself some eggs? Are you mad?

00:06:25Yes. I'm mad. For a moment I was thinking you were a normal husband. Oh talking of normal mud. Do you remember

00:06:32that little scare we had about the old girl before you went off? You remember? She had too many

00:06:37white thingamies chasing too many red ones in her old bloodstream. Less of the old please. Darling we must

00:06:43face facts. I'll face the fact that I'm a year younger than you. All right? No need to get ugly darling.

00:06:50Well for a time things got even worse. I know. How do you know? You've been in Hong Kong. There is a postal

00:06:57service even in Hong Kong. You write to each other. How extraordinary. Well anyway after time things got

00:07:04better and better and today she's had her final clearance. A piece of paper with normal written

00:07:10all over it. Show it to him darling. And what's more she's put on 20 pounds. Oh 10. Nine really.

00:07:17Well that's great Lydia. But she shouldn't have written to you Mark and bothered you. I like being

00:07:22bothered. I don't write and tell you about my bladder trouble do I? No. How is your bladder

00:07:27trouble? Absolutely terrible. Sometimes I sit in there screaming. Screaming what? For someone to care.

00:07:34You look terrible. I know. I always do. Why don't you look like your heroes? If I did I'd write about

00:07:41heroes that look like me and I wouldn't sell. I often think if you'd had any education you might

00:07:46actually write. If I'd had any education I'd know I couldn't. Darling fill this up would you and then

00:07:53get Mark a drink. How's uh how's Joey? Oh he's doing wonderfully well Mark. Wonderfully well? He has an

00:08:01unpaid job at the headquarters of a crypto fascist political organization called the Liberal Party.

00:08:07If he's only unpaid now after the by-election they're going to pay him. Thirty pieces of silver I should

00:08:13think. Helping to split the left and let the Tories in. My own son Mark. My own son. He's earned

00:08:21a three hundred pounds Mark for a television play he's written. Isn't that marvelous? That's more than

00:08:27his father earned at twenty. Thank you darling. The BBC two series for which this piece of pseudo

00:08:33Kafka crap was written Mark happens to be limited to plays by authors under twenty one. It's still an

00:08:39achievement and you ought to be proud. Oh I am very. Is that a touch too much water darling? Well when's

00:08:48this uh this play being done? Uh tomorrow at ten thirty. Prime viewing time. I'll try to get to watch it. Oh don't.

00:08:55Oh you wouldn't come and watch it here with us would you? Darling what a thing to ask the poor man. It's

00:09:01only he could see Joey too. He's coming up from his by-election especially to watch it with us.

00:09:07Now don't you think that's rather sweet of him when he could have seen it with his friends. I think

00:09:11he's wise. He knows we've got to like it. Damn you. Damn you. Forgive her Mark. She's been worrying

00:09:17too much about her blood thingamies and it's made her a bit hysterical lately. Oh go on the word. Yes

00:09:22darling I'm just going. Would you Mark? I know it's an awful thing to ask but Joey would be thrilled

00:09:28out of his mind. Out of his what? I'd love to. Good God.

00:09:39Tell me please that I've come for no reason. You've come Mark and I'm eternally grateful.

00:09:48Well perhaps not eternally. About a year if my library books are right. What do you want

00:10:00to drink? Oh anything. I went out and bought a bottle of bourbon. Okay okay bourbon but this

00:10:07blood test it is this a lie then? No not quite. The test is genuine enough. Do you know anything

00:10:17about blood counts? Well since I got your first letter I had one on my research team. Darling

00:10:22Marcus Waltz. Darling, darling Mark Walters. Oh hell I'm not intelligent enough to research

00:10:28for myself. No I told this guy it was for a character in a book. Now I've got some figures

00:10:33here. For what? Acute lymphocytosis. Say leukemia. It's a prettier word. I'm not taking self-pity

00:10:44from you yet. Unkind but justified. I drag you halfway across the world because I'm sorry

00:10:53for myself and have to talk to someone. That's self-pity all right. I hope you had other reasons

00:10:59for coming. What? Yes plenty of reasons. But these figures don't fit. No. They don't fit with well okay

00:11:09leukemia. No. Nor do they fit with the word normal which Uncle Constantine has so sweetly typed in.

00:11:17No they're all above normal. Quite a bit above. Well yes I guess a bit. Then why did Uncle Constantine

00:11:26make them normal? He wants to reassure you. We are moving along most finely my dear. Improving

00:11:35every day. He doesn't know I can see the tears behind those pebble glasses. And anyway they might

00:11:43be tears of of joy because we Estonians are an emotional people. I'm going to have a drink.

00:11:52Vodka. Allowed to? Encouraged Mark. Encouraged. Vodka. American but still vodka.

00:12:02Oh Marcus. Why am I being encouraged to drink and lead a normal life? Why am I being told I need no

00:12:14more blood tests? Why am I being conned into thinking that I've made a dramatic recovery when

00:12:20that test is worse than last week's and considerably worse than the weeks before? But how did you get to

00:12:26see your tests? Each week I have to spend a penny for a specimen? I tell him I can't do it with

00:12:33someone in the room even behind a screen. Oh God it doesn't even taste like vodka. Anyway the old boy

00:12:45discreetly disappears and I rifle his desk. I have a good head for figures. Nowadays I don't even need to

00:12:53write them down. Why are these figures lower than mine? Cortisone. Lashings of cortisone.

00:13:01What Uncle Constantine tells me are my little tonic pills.

00:13:09Two six times a day now. It was two four times a day until last week. May I have a look at them?

00:13:15Well where does it say those are cortisone? Nowhere. Well how do you know they are then? Analysis at an

00:13:24ordinary chemist. Oh miss could you help me? I found these in an old bottle and I'm not too sure what

00:13:31they are. Oh how kind. Cortisone. Fancy. That's a powerful drug isn't it? I'll throw them away. But

00:13:42cortisone doesn't put on weight. Your researcher slipped up there. It does with some people. If I

00:13:48live another year I shall be enormous. Oh Marcus. I'm so happy to see you. I'm such a stranger in this

00:14:04land. Even after 28 years I haven't anyone. Anyone whom I could call a friend. That is hard to imagine.

00:14:13Well I could have had lovers but after um after what Sebastian calls my early misadventures.

00:14:21Aren't English euphemisms wonderful? I didn't want them. But a real friend? No.

00:14:28Among the other refugees I suppose I could have had some. But that would have meant swapping

00:14:34concentration camp stories. Probably in front of Sebastian. Who dreads them? But so do all the

00:14:41English. Do the Americans? Some might say. The ones who ape the English. The Easterners. But

00:14:49hell you are speaking to Marcus Valtlady. A grandfather Lithuanian Jewish. Most of us Americans are refugees.

00:14:58Not necessarily from concentration camps. But something like them. Not as bad. But

00:15:03still bad. No. No. Mainly we sympathize. In this country I learned my lesson early. At first

00:15:13when I had an even stronger accent than now people would politely ask me where I was from. And

00:15:20I'd say Estonia. And then I could see them thinking now where the hell is that? Ah yes. Baltic.

00:15:28States. Germans and Russians. Oh Jesus. We'd better not ask her her experiences. But

00:15:37some did. And I'd be silly enough to tell them. You see I'd escaped by then. I wasn't a Russian

00:15:43citizen any longer. I was a British subject. Oh what bliss. And anyway telling it all helped.

00:15:53So I'd say. My father and my two brothers were killed by the Russians for being intellectuals. My

00:16:00mother and my aunt were killed by the Germans for having a Jewish father. And I myself.

00:16:05well I rarely got as far as I myself. I'd see a glassy stare of utter boredom in their eyes.

00:16:15And something worse. Oh that sin of sins amongst Anglo-Saxons. I was guilty of bad form. Especially if

00:16:23sometimes I did. I cried a bit when telling these things. Oh damn the English. Sometimes I think that

00:16:35their bad form doesn't just lie in revealing their emotions. It's in having in any emotions at all.

00:16:42Do you like the English? I don't quite understand them. But I like their countries. So I live in it

00:16:49rather than mine. Yes. I like their country too. And sometimes I say so. And that's bad form too.

00:16:56No Mark. In England I'm very alone. Oh of course I have joy. But you know even he gets embarrassed if I

00:17:05only hint at what I feel for him. And as for Sebastian. No. I think I should have gone away with

00:17:14you when I had the chance. I think you should have too. Among other things that would have saved me

00:17:21two sets of alemonies. And you I could have told I was dying of leukemia. No Lydia. If that was true

00:17:30mind you. I would have told you at the proper time. Not too necessary. Not till you had to know. But the

00:17:39doctor and I would have been in league from the start. Yes. Well perhaps there are some English

00:17:45husbands who'd have behaved in the same way. It's difficult for me to say. I've only really known one.

00:17:51I'm having another drink. What about you? No I'm not. Sebastian might have behaved the same way if

00:18:00you'd given him the chance. Oh he'd have tried to poor lamb. For a week or two he'd have remembered

00:18:08his upbringing at Winchester and Balliol. Manners maketh man. And for a week or two he'd have been quite

00:18:15solicitous. Do lie down old girl. Mustn't tire yourself you know. I'll get you your tea. Oh just to

00:18:25hear that I sometimes almost wish I had told him. But after a time can you imagine the boredom he'd have

00:18:34gone through. Oh don't fool yourself Mark. A long slow terminal illness is the worst visitation we can

00:18:43inflict on anyone. Let alone our nearest and dearest. And Sebastian isn't the best person in the world at

00:18:51being bored. The glass is stale very soon and then going on for months and months. Then when I came to die

00:19:02I wouldn't have enjoyed looking up into Sebastian's face and and seeing relief.

00:19:11Oh this is morbid. Oh let's let's talk of something else.

00:19:19Hong Kong. No not much yet. There's still leukemia. Now there's no certain proof until.

00:19:25I've had the lumbar puncture. Now would that be the um the sternum test? Yes I had it yesterday.

00:19:35It was positive. You can't know that. The result wouldn't be through.

00:19:41No it isn't officially but Uncle Constantine's nurse is Scandinavian. Accent very like mine.

00:19:49I called the hospital. Got the specialist secretary. Said Dr. Ziegler needed a verbal report and and

00:19:56couldn't speak for himself as the patient was in his consulting room at that moment. She swallowed it.

00:20:03Said she'd look it up. Where were you? In a call box. Scared to death it would sound off before she

00:20:09found the report. But it didn't. Mrs Lydia Crotwell. Positive. Very brisk voice. No I'm sorry.

00:20:19Or just positive. Now you'll have another drink? Yeah. No no no no. Sit down. I'll. Oh don't be silly.

00:20:35Cortisone makes me feel 18 again. It's a wonderful drug. They give it to racehorses. Honestly I've never felt better.

00:20:45What's the prognosis? Well the books the nice librarian gives me are rather unspecific about

00:20:57that. Cortisone's the clue of course. Now they usually give it at the end. But I think this

00:21:05dosing is just a trial pep-up thought up by dear Uncle Constantine. Soon he'll take me off it and

00:21:12then only give me the full blast of it when my cue comes. And I give myself oh well let's be

00:21:18optimistic um 18 months. I'll bet you on it if you like. There's a man in Denver Colorado who

00:21:25guarantees a 70 percent cure. Denver Colorado. There's no money problem. I know and there's

00:21:33no Marcus problem. There's no Marcus problem. There's just a Sebastian problem. And that darling

00:21:38Marcus is insoluble. He's got to be told sometime. When the ambulance comes. Perhaps not even then.

00:21:47Certainly not before. But if this test really is positive your your doctor will tell him. Oh no

00:21:52he won't. Uncle Constantine promised me a long time ago on the bones of St. Joseph. The most sacred

00:21:59oath an Estonian has. What about the Hippocratic oath? If he told Sebastian against my orders then

00:22:06he'd break that too. A doctor must do all he can for the good and comfort of the patient. What comfort

00:22:13for me to have Sebastian told? I could tell him. And guarantee my never speaking to you again?

00:22:23Oh God. Lydia darling. You must let me help you. You mustn't give up. You mustn't please. Darling

00:22:35my special reading light doesn't go on. Darling I said my special reading light that. I heard you. I

00:22:44heard you. What's the matter with it? It doesn't go on. Probably the bulb. Do forgive me Mark. Just

00:22:52two more sentences. You haven't been too bored I hope. No no not at all. What are you writing on this

00:22:58week? Oh that complacent old burgher of Streatham on Avon. God he's so maddening. With his worship of

00:23:05the establishment he makes nonsense of everything we write. Don't you think? We? Are you a republican?

00:23:11No I'm a radical. Well Shakespeare must infuriate people like us who passionately believe that no man

00:23:19can write well whose heart is in the right place. Meaning the left place. Which is where the heart is.

00:23:25Thank you Mark. I might use that as my payoff. Well? It wasn't plugged in. Well who unplugged it?

00:23:33Mrs. McIntyre? Probably Mrs. McIntyre. Oh you must speak to her darling. Set up the chest

00:23:38man Mark. Now who on earth is going to look after that if? Say when Mark. Get used to it please. I am not

00:23:49saying when Lydia. I'm sorry. Someone's got to keep a little hope going around here. You seem to have

00:23:54resigned yourself to black despair. Black despair? Oh Mark. You're becoming as woolly minded about death

00:24:02as the Anglo-Saxons. Black despair? Me? Oh darling. By coming here and letting me burden you with my

00:24:10secret you've done something marvelous. And for the first time in months I feel light-hearted. Even happy.

00:24:17And to prove it to you. I'm having yet another vodka. You all right? Yep. Mm-hmm. But you won't

00:24:26help me by being sentimental and impractical and un-Lithuanian. Black despair. Me? Oh. Skull.

00:24:36Between the ages of sixteen and twenty-two I had to face every day and every night the almost

00:24:47certain prospect of death in a hundred horrible ways. Thirty years later I face a very gentle kind

00:24:56of death. Well let's hope. But my books aren't frightening about it at all. To cease upon the

00:25:04midnight with no pain. God. How many millions of us over there during those six years longed for just

00:25:13that and didn't get it. Black despair. Oh really. I'm sorry. Only I'd sooner not talk about it too much

00:25:22if you if you don't mind. Well we've got to talk about it a little or you're not going to be much

00:25:28of a help are you? Okay but but not now. Do you mind? Just one thing more. You asked a question I've got to

00:25:37answer it. Who's going to look after that when I can't anymore? Well I've an idea. I suppose he

00:25:47couldn't just look after himself. Are you mad? Hasn't he ever had to surely in the war? Commission

00:25:53in army intelligence at once and a batman. Knowing him probably too. What are you doing over there?

00:26:01Don't look just yet. But how does he reconcile all that with his Marxism? Oh surprisingly easily.

00:26:09No I've got an idea. There's a girl called Prunella Larkin. A journalist who's mad about him and I gather

00:26:19rather his form too. Mentally and physically. Anyway he's been seeing an awful lot of her recently.

00:26:27In fact I think for the last three months they've been having a thing. So he doesn't seem to have

00:26:35things much. Unlike you sex maniac? Oh don't confuse me with my heroes. You do all right. But what makes

00:26:42you think it's a thing? Well he's not the master of subterfuge. He takes this Larkin out to dinner.

00:26:50A little business chat you know darling. And later gets caught in the rain when there isn't any.

00:26:56And stays the night with his editor who sends him a postcard the next day from Tangier. Oh you know

00:27:02the form? Oh better. Only mine didn't go to that much trouble. They just slept out and when I asked

00:27:07where it was mental cruelty. Now the doctor says I must have a holiday. Would you take me away for

00:27:16ten days? Sure. Where? Ilfracombe's night. So is Monte Carlo. What's this to do with this

00:27:22Miss Larkin? Mrs. Larkin? Divorced. Well he'll say who's going to look after me? And I'll say

00:27:31what about that nice girl Prunella? And he'll jump at it. Then if the ten days are a success well

00:27:40later on I can make plans accordingly. Don't you think it's a clever idea? I can only repeat what

00:27:49Sebastian so often says to you. You are an extraordinary woman. All right. Now you can

00:27:57look. Oh chess pieces. Oh they're exquisite. They're Chinese. Nothing very grand. Modern.

00:28:08They're beautiful. Oh he'll adore them. Oh you are such a sweet gentle soul. Oh Jesus don't tell

00:28:17that to my readers or I'll be ruined. My God. If his is as good as that I'm going to open mine.

00:28:23Oh. Now listen. If that doesn't suit. No. Take it back. Lydia. Take it back this instant. Oh.

00:28:36Oh. I said. Take it back. I heard you. Oh. Oh. Yep. There. Oh. I didn't mean a word of what I said

00:28:52just now. I think you are an absolute horror. Yes. Flaunting your wealth. Showing girls what

00:28:59they've missed by not divorcing their husbands and marrying you. Oh. If I'd been your wife

00:29:05I wouldn't have let you give minx to old flames. Well. Maybe I sensed this was special. Oh

00:29:12Marcus. Marcus. Have you two nothing better to do than hold each other? You're not even

00:29:20giving the poor man a chance to smoke. I haven't seen him for six months. Nor have I. Nor has

00:29:25anyone. Darling that lovely patent folding table of yours doesn't fold. Well of course it

00:29:31doesn't if you leave the typewriter on it. Oh. Is that what I did? Oh. Clever you. Finished?

00:29:38Well. More or less. I fixed both the professors and the swan is sunk in his own even without

00:29:44a trace. Never to rise again. Oh. There's the rub. One has to admit that the bloody old

00:29:49honors hunting bourgeois could write. William Shakespeare. Gent. Hard to forgive him for that.

00:29:56It should have stamped him a forgettable and an entity for the rest of creation. Instead

00:30:00of which... Didn't you get something? Well. Uh. OBE. Lydia forced me into that. She staged

00:30:07a sit-down strike. Well isn't an OBE what's called an honor? Uh. I would rather not speak

00:30:13of it if you please. Now. Game and chess. Come on. Are you prepared for your usual thrashing?

00:30:19Oh. All right. Which hand? Uh. Left. Good. No question at all that I'm better playing

00:30:25read than... What the hell? Oh. Damn. Beautiful. Chinese. Mark. I passionately adore you and

00:30:39am prepared to live with you for the rest of my life. And what is more, I take back everything

00:30:45that I've ever written about your novels. You have never written anything about my novels.

00:30:50Thanks. Your next one will get my whole five columns. Four. Oh. Oh. Pawn to King Four. Huh? So you've

00:31:00been reading Fisher Spassky. Hmm. You know something? I'd give a million bucks to write one novel a

00:31:11tenth as good as your Out of the Night. So would I. Only a million bucks. These are marvelous.

00:31:19marvelous. Of course you can't tell the King from the Queen, but when can you these days?

00:31:26Are you, uh, never going to try another novel? Ha ha. It'd be telling. Good. That means

00:31:33yes. No. You said try. I've got to be moved, Mark. The war did move me and that novel was

00:31:41good. It wasn't Tolstoy like some idiot said. But it was good. Then the piece didn't move me

00:31:48and that novel was bad. No. Listen, who's the critic here? Sorry. But I'm not beyond hope

00:31:54about the next. If I do it. Ha ha ha. The Rui Lopez. I thought you'd grown out of that. I've

00:32:01got a new variation. Well, you'll need it. My reply to the Rui Lopez makes strong men quake.

00:32:08Oh, dear, darling. Can't you leave the ashtrays till later? A bit distracting, all that moving

00:32:17about. Oh, by the way, do you see what Mark's given me? I'm trying to show you what Mark's

00:32:22given me. Oh, what? Oh, that. What fur exactly is that? Don't tell him. Died rabbit. Oh,

00:32:33nink. I see. Oh, that's very nice. Isn't that light shade just a bit, forgive me, darling,

00:32:43on the young side? No. Oh, darling, really. Oh, these are valuable for heaven's sake. I

00:32:52just moved pawn to King 3. Superb workmanship. Where did you get them? Hong Kong. Hong Kong?

00:33:00Oh, yes, of course. Oh, Mark. I may have to give them back. All that sweated labor. Imported

00:33:07from Peking. Oh, oh, good. Good. It's all right if they sweat in Peking. Oh, no, they don't

00:33:13sweat in Peking. Or they'd be arrested. Please, don't make cheap jokes like that. Do you mind?

00:33:18Your move. Sebastian, Mark wants to take me down to Monte Carlo for ten days or so. Oh,

00:33:30yes? What for? A holiday, a rest, like the doctor said. Well, can't you rest here? Since

00:33:37you ask, no. Unless you go to Monte Carlo instead. Well, that might be an idea. I doubt if my editor

00:33:44would scream with joy, though, seeing he's away too. In Tangier. Yes. How did you know?

00:33:50Well, can you get Mrs. McHiggins to come in every day? Not a chance. Just as well. It's

00:33:55a bit very expensive. But I've got a better idea. I haven't asked her, but I think I might

00:34:00get Prunella to look after you. Prunella? Prunella Larkin? Yes, just for that little time. Are

00:34:07you round the bend? There is no such thing as a little time with Prunella Larkin. An hour

00:34:16is an eternity. Ten days. Ten consecutive days with her and I'd be a gibbering lunatic. Oh,

00:34:24it's just that you did seem to have been seeing quite a lot of her recently. Mrs. Larkin

00:34:30and I do, I grant, have certain interests in common. But they can usually be shared in

00:34:36well under thirty minutes. If, after those brief encounters, I should choose not to plod

00:34:42back to Hendon, but to sleep in my editor's flat, to which I have a key, that is simply

00:34:47because I am lazy and comfort-loving. It is not a matter for your prurient suspicions.

00:34:53If you insist on skipping off on this extravagant jaunt, I shall go to the Savoy and send the

00:34:59bill in to Mark. And if he doesn't pay, I shall sell these chessmen. Now, does that

00:35:04settle the matter? Yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, it does. Good. Your move, Mark. Now, darling,

00:35:11please. This game needs concentration. Bobby Fisher won't have a camera click ten yards away,

00:35:18much less a hyena screeching tipsily in his ear. Sorry, I was trying to kiss you. There

00:35:24is a time and a place. Yes, I know both. Oh, darling, go and cook dinner. Yes. You've

00:35:35already had two of those pills. Yes, but I missed two after lunch. Oh, what she had two

00:35:41of? My tonic pills. Oh, yes, yes, those iron things. They're very good for a mark. Put

00:35:46on 24 pounds. Eight. The move of a coward. How did we get to know each other, Mark? It

00:36:01was in California when I was lecturing at UCLA, but I don't remember exactly how. Was it chess?

00:36:07Yes. No, it was Lydia. Oh, yes, of course. You thought you were in love with her then,

00:36:12didn't you? I think I still am. Extraordinary. Oh, are you still there, darling? I thought

00:36:19you were getting dinner. Something tells me your dinner tonight might taste a little peculiar.

00:36:26Can I help? Sit down, Mark. It's your move. Come on. Okay, I'll go. Now, let's see.

00:36:38Ay, but to die and go we know not where. To lie in cold obstruction and to rot. This sensible,

00:36:49warm motion to become a needed clod. And the delighted spirit. Are you making that move?

00:36:57I don't know yet. Is that Shakespeare? To be imprisoned in the viewless winds and blown

00:37:04with restless violence round about the pendant world. Can't keep your hand on it forever,

00:37:10you know, as the bishop sent to the actress. Okay, that's my move. And a bloody silly one

00:37:17too, if I may say so. The weariest and most loathed worldly life that age, ache, penury and imprisonment

00:37:30can lay on nature is a paradise to what we fear of death. Yes, Shakespeare. One is forced to admit

00:37:42that he could sometimes sort out the words, pessimistic old sod. I thought he was a complacent old bourgeois.

00:37:49Well, he was both. That's the trouble. This move will lead to your ultimate annihilation.

00:37:58Oh, yes. The crotchal variation. It has interest, if only fleeting. What made you choose that particular quotation?

00:38:08Hmm? Oh, it's in my article. The same man that wrote those lines also wrote,

00:38:14we are such stuff as dreams are made on and our little life is rounded with a sleep.

00:38:19The first one's Royal Court, but that one is pure Shaftesbury Avenue. Cozy, commercial and comforting.

00:38:25The man wasn't consistent, you see. Check.

00:38:30Ah, I think you have fallen right into my trap. Hello, Dad. Oh, are we expecting you? No.

00:38:41Hello, Mr. Walters. Hello, Joey. Say, you look ten years older than when I saw you last.

00:38:47If I am ten years older, you don't know what canvassing in a by-election can do to one.

00:38:52I hear they're doing a play of yours on TV. That's great, Joey. Congratulations.

00:38:56I'm scared to death. Anyway, ten-thirty. No one will see it.

00:39:00I suppose there's no hope of you seeing it, is there?

00:39:03Sure. I'm coming tomorrow night just for that.

00:39:05Especially to see my play. Yep. Jeez.

00:39:08Oh, it'll be great.

00:39:09Do you mind not yackety-yacking with my vote-splitting son?

00:39:13You're playing chess with me. Oh, who's winning?

00:39:16I have him in a trap.

00:39:18It's only a question of how best to snap together its steel jaws.

00:39:22Well, it looks the other way round to me, Dad.

00:39:24Do you mind?

00:39:26Sorry?

00:39:31Will you kindly cease your imitation of a cobra on heat?

00:39:34Faulty though it may seem to budding Empire loyalists,

00:39:38I prefer my game to be my own.

00:39:41I just didn't want to see you lose your knight.

00:39:43My knight?

00:39:45Two moves ahead.

00:39:47Now, a knight's sacrifice might well be my plan.

00:39:52How'd you know it wasn't, hmm?

00:39:58That's torn it.

00:39:59If you're so bloody good, why don't you ever play?

00:40:02I do.

00:40:03I mean with me.

00:40:04Two reasons, I suppose, Dad.

00:40:06One, you don't ask me.

00:40:08And two, if I did win, you'd call me a fascist pig.

00:40:11Meaning I'm a bad loser?

00:40:12Meaning that anyone who stamps on your ego is always a fascist pig.

00:40:17Will you kindly go away or I'll stamp on something more painful than your ego?

00:40:21I want to watch.

00:40:22And you don't mind, do you, Mr. Waters?

00:40:24Not at all.

00:40:25Lydia!

00:40:26Lydia!

00:40:27The brood is here.

00:40:28Remove it before I do it violent.

00:40:30Joey!

00:40:31Oh, Joey!

00:40:32Oh, how marvellous!

00:40:35Forgive the exuberance, Mark.

00:40:37She hasn't seen him for five days.

00:40:39Why didn't you let us know?

00:40:41Have you eaten?

00:40:42Yes, Mum.

00:40:43And I only knew myself at lunch break.

00:40:44They don't need me until election day.

00:40:46Thursday?

00:40:47And I've got you till then?

00:40:48Yes, I've got him too.

00:40:49I've got him too.

00:40:50Oh, don't bother, Dad.

00:40:51I won't be in your way.

00:40:52Not till election day.

00:40:54Aha!

00:40:55That must mean your man's given up.

00:40:56He's got it made, Dad.

00:40:58The latest poll gives him 12% over all other candidates.

00:41:02I don't believe it.

00:41:04The electorate, God knows, can be utterly idiotic, but he's not raving man.

00:41:08Would you get your mother a little sip of vodka, dear?

00:41:11I didn't know you drank vodka.

00:41:12I've rather taken to it in the last hour.

00:41:15It doesn't make sense.

00:41:16It's all Bernard Levin's fault.

00:41:18Centre party.

00:41:20What in hell is a centre party?

00:41:22A party that's in the centre, Dad.

00:41:25That's to say, between the two extremes, of right and left.

00:41:29Don't talk to me as if I were a cretinous ape,

00:41:32who only involved himself in politics yesterday.

00:41:35No, it was quite a long time ago, wasn't it?

00:41:38When Hitler was the devil, Stalin was in his heaven,

00:41:41and all was right with the world.

00:41:43Times have changed, you know, Dad.

00:41:45You old-time Marxists are out of touch.

00:41:47Out of touch.

00:41:48Oh, out of touch, are we?

00:41:50Careful, Joey.

00:41:51Did you ever have hair as beautiful as this?

00:41:55Much more beautiful.

00:41:57But I was in an army, fighting fascism, and I was made to cut it short.

00:42:02That was for hygiene, you know, lice.

00:42:04Did you get many lice as an intelligence officer in Whitehall?

00:42:07I was speaking figuratively.

00:42:09Figuratively, lice.

00:42:10Don't annoy him.

00:42:11You know what will happen.

00:42:12Don't flout the issue.

00:42:14A centre party is nothing more nor less than a gross collaboration with the enemy.

00:42:18Collaboration.

00:42:20That's very bad.

00:42:21We used to get shot for that.

00:42:23First by the Russians, then by the Germans, then by the Russians again.

00:42:28It was all very confusing.

00:42:29Mum, that was a long time ago.

00:42:31Yes, it was.

00:42:32It sometimes doesn't seem so.

00:42:35I suppose by the enemy, Dad, you mean the status quo?

00:42:39I mean the whole rotten, stinking mess that's Britain today.

00:42:44What, Mum?

00:42:46Don't whisper, darling.

00:42:47It's very rude.

00:42:48What's she saying?

00:42:49She says, isn't it terrible, but she rather likes Britain today.

00:42:53Yes, well, she's pissed.

00:42:55Are you, Mum?

00:42:56Well, it's not a very nice way of...

00:42:59Yes, I am.

00:43:00Good for you.

00:43:01Oh, what about America today?

00:43:03That's far worse.

00:43:04Far worse.

00:43:05Dad, I'm not denying that all of us today, on both sides of the Atlantic,

00:43:08are living in a nightmare.

00:43:10But we want to do something.

00:43:12Living in a nightmare.

00:43:14Darling, are you going to sit there just repeating everything we say?

00:43:18Yes, if I want to.

00:43:20You don't think a touch of light cooking might be in order?

00:43:23I like this discussion.

00:43:25Well, you're not making a great contribution to it.

00:43:28How can I make a contribution?

00:43:31Join in your discussion.

00:43:34I don't belong to this country.

00:43:36I belong to where I was born.

00:43:39The free and independent Republic of Estonia.

00:43:43But I'm afraid.

00:43:44I can't tell you, gentlemen, how rotten and stinking Estonia is today.

00:43:49Because, you see, there isn't an Estonia.

00:43:52Estonia has ceased to exist, so I have no country at all.

00:43:57Which I'm quite sure is making all you English and Americans cry like bilio.

00:44:03Darling, you must be careful of your idioms.

00:44:06Bilio is very old-fashioned.

00:44:07Yes, it must be.

00:44:08I learned it in school in Tallinn.

00:44:10That's our capital city.

00:44:12It was our capital city.

00:44:14So, all I'm entitled to say about Britain today is that it has been rather a pleasant place for an Estonian to have lived in.

00:44:24Now, I shall go and go.

00:44:27Yes, darling.

00:44:28Very good idea.

00:44:29Forgive the refugee bit, Marg.

00:44:31She doesn't do it much.

00:44:32To have lived in, Mum?

00:44:33Why?

00:44:34Are you planning to leave?

00:44:35I meant up until now, Joy, of course.

00:44:40Do you know, I think...

00:44:42Lydia, are you all right?

00:44:44Perhaps.

00:44:45Hold up, darling.

00:44:46Out of the way, Joey.

00:44:47I've got you.

00:44:48By the bed.

00:44:49Yes, darling.

00:44:50It's a very good idea.

00:44:51Sorry, Joey.

00:44:52But I've had a bit more experience of these things.

00:44:53I'm so sorry.

00:44:54It doesn't matter, darling.

00:44:55Now, just one step in front of the other.

00:44:58That's it.

00:44:59That's very clever.

00:45:00That's called walking.

00:45:01Dinner.

00:45:02Can you tell Joey?

00:45:03Yes, of course, Joey can.

00:45:05Now, another two steps.

00:45:06That's it.

00:45:07That's it.

00:45:08We're doing fine.

00:45:10I'm pissed, aren't I?

00:45:13Well, yes, darling.

00:45:14That's exactly what you are.

00:45:16And as a newt, I would say.

00:45:18It's quite a shock, Mark, after all these years,

00:45:20to find one has a wife for the drink problem,

00:45:22instead of being just a drunk like me.

00:45:24Oh, I love you.

00:45:25And I love you, Joey.

00:45:27And you, Mark.

00:45:28I love you all.

00:45:30Yes, darling.

00:45:31That's very nice for us all to know, I'm sure.

00:45:34And I love England and America.

00:45:36Yes.

00:45:37And left, right, and, and sent out.

00:45:40Yes, I'm sure all parties in England and America

00:45:43would be delighted to hear that.

00:45:45We will issue a communique to both countries later.

00:45:48Now, if you could just manoeuvre your arse round this bend.

00:45:52That's it.

00:45:53That's it.

00:45:54That's it.

00:45:55Now, Mark, my move would have been pawn to Queen's Rope 3.

00:45:59Now, darling, two tiny little steps.

00:46:01Well done.

00:46:02Now, a little more of this foot after the other, lark.

00:46:06And who knows?

00:46:07You might even get to like it.

00:46:27Television working all right?

00:46:29Yes, ma'am.

00:46:30And a little champagne for the occasion, I think.

00:46:33That's making too much of it.

00:46:35You can't make too much of it.

00:46:36You can't make too much of it.

00:46:37Here.

00:46:38Give it to me.

00:46:39Oh, thank you, darling.

00:46:44Nervous?

00:46:45Petrified.

00:46:46Why only three glasses?

00:46:48Oh, darling, if you forgive me, I think I'll stick to Vichy water.

00:46:52That ought to go in a bucket.

00:46:54There's one in the kitchen.

00:46:55Put quite a lot of ice in it.

00:46:57It's been in the fridge, but it will look better.

00:46:59And how are you feeling now?

00:47:01American vodka is terrible stuff.

00:47:04Now, if it had been Estonian vodka...

00:47:06You'd probably be dead instead of just dying.

00:47:09Very likely.

00:47:11Go and get that ice.

00:47:12And another glass?

00:47:14All right.

00:47:15Just a sip in your honor.

00:47:18You don't suppose Dad's forgotten, do you?

00:47:20Of course not.

00:47:21He's been talking of nothing else all day.

00:47:25Now, go on.

00:47:26Where is he, anyway?

00:47:27They wanted him at the office.

00:47:29An obituary or something.

00:47:31He'll be well on his way back by now.

00:47:33Did you call him?

00:47:34Yes.

00:47:35And he said he'd be back in plenty of time.

00:47:38Now, go on.

00:47:39Get that ice.

00:47:40Mrs. Larkin?

00:47:55Oh, Lydia Crutwell.

00:47:57I'm sorry to be embarrassing, but this is a crisis.

00:48:00Is Sebastian with you?

00:48:03I see.

00:48:04When did he leave?

00:48:06That's over an hour ago.

00:48:08Where was he going?

00:48:10Oh, please, Mrs. Larkin.

00:48:12This isn't a jealous wife.

00:48:13I'm not jealous.

00:48:14I'm pleased, really.

00:48:16But this is important, dreadfully important.

00:48:20No clue at all.

00:48:22Well, did he happen to mention that his son had a television play on tonight?

00:48:27Yes.

00:48:28BBC 2, 10.30, and that's the crisis.

00:48:32Something worse.

00:48:33Worse?

00:48:34What could be worse?

00:48:35Well, he sometimes goes to his editor's flat after talking with you.

00:48:42Did he say anything?

00:48:45Meet some friends?

00:48:46Where?

00:48:47I've got to find out where he...

00:48:50Oh, that's terribly sweet of you, darling.

00:48:54Angelic of you to ask us.

00:48:56But I know Sebastian can't.

00:48:58He gets so tied up in the evenings.

00:49:00It's when he works, you know.

00:49:02Yes, I'll get him to call you.

00:49:04He's due in any second.

00:49:06Goodbye.

00:49:09Oh, what a bore that woman is.

00:49:11Who?

00:49:12Oh, no one you know.

00:49:13Oh, I didn't hear the telephone ring.

00:49:14Oh, that happens to me when I'm getting ice.

00:49:17Oh, that's Mark.

00:49:18Answer it, darling.

00:49:19Right, you.

00:49:20Hi, Joey.

00:49:21Oh, hello, Mr. Walters.

00:49:22Hey.

00:49:23You didn't put a dinner jacket on just for me.

00:49:24Of course.

00:49:25Always dressed for a premiere.

00:49:26Oh, here's a little, um, good luck talking.

00:49:27Of a brilliant young dramatist.

00:49:29Dramatist?

00:49:30You don't get called a dramatist till you're dead.

00:49:31He let brilliant pass.

00:49:32No, I didn't, Mum.

00:49:33I just closed my ears.

00:49:34You know, I don't think I've ever had a present like this.

00:49:35Oh, of course.

00:49:36Mum's given me some smashing things.

00:49:37Oh, smashing.

00:49:38Nickel cigarette lighters, plastic Indian beads.

00:49:39Oh, Joey's going to look after Sebastian while we're away.

00:49:40Oh, no.

00:49:41Oh, no.

00:49:42Oh, no.

00:49:43Oh, no.

00:49:44Oh, no.

00:49:45Oh, no.

00:49:46Oh, no.

00:49:47Oh, no.

00:49:48Oh, no.

00:49:49Oh, no.

00:49:50Oh, no.

00:49:51Oh, no.

00:49:52Oh, no.

00:49:53Oh, no.

00:49:54Oh, no.

00:49:55Oh, no.

00:49:56Oh, no.

00:49:57Joey's going to look after Sebastian while we're away.

00:50:00Gee, that's great.

00:50:01Well, that's if you don't mind putting it off until after next weekend.

00:50:04I'm going to stay with our candidate and his family for a victory celebration.

00:50:07Hadn't you better knock on wood?

00:50:09No.

00:50:10Isn't it sweet of him to volunteer to be my replacement?

00:50:13Oh, I didn't volunteer, Mum.

00:50:15You had your thumb screws squeezed really tight.

00:50:18Joey, that's a very naughty thing to suggest.

00:50:20Well, anyway, I mean, we don't know what Dad's going to say.

00:50:23Yes, we do.

00:50:24He said this morning that he was very impressed with how you took over last night when your

00:50:28mother got a little overexcited.

00:50:31He said the way you coped in the kitchen was excellent.

00:50:34I know how to open a tin of sardines and where the chocolate biscuits are kept.

00:50:38An excellent meal, he said.

00:50:40And he washed up brilliantly.

00:50:42I would have helped but our game went on until two.

00:50:46You know, that guy's like Churchill.

00:50:48He'll never surrender.

00:50:50He did last night, though.

00:50:52God, did he roar?

00:50:54Yes.

00:50:55And he blamed the new chestnut, of course.

00:50:57Yes.

00:50:58They, uh, confused him.

00:51:00By the way, what, is he in there?

00:51:02No, he's due in any minute.

00:51:04Oh, good.

00:51:05Uh, Joey, don't you think you should wear those cufflinks for luck?

00:51:08Well, I haven't got a shirt.

00:51:10I mean, for links.

00:51:11Borrow one of your father's.

00:51:12Well, does that mean a tie?

00:51:14No.

00:51:15Don't betray your convictions.

00:51:20Oh, what a boy.

00:51:22Mark, Sebastian's lost.

00:51:24It's a hundred to one.

00:51:25He's forgotten.

00:51:26Oh, God, no.

00:51:27Now, go down to the porter in the basement.

00:51:30He's got a telephone.

00:51:31Call this number.

00:51:33You mean your number here?

00:51:34Yes, yes.

00:51:35Now, I'll tell Joey you're re-parking your car or something.

00:51:39Okay.

00:51:40Oh, uh, what, what shall I say?

00:51:43You don't need to say anything.

00:51:46I'll do the talking.

00:51:49Now.

00:51:51Now, is that clear?

00:51:52My hand is so sitting with the rage.

00:51:56Sebastian, if after 10.30, go away until 11.

00:52:00And then the first thing you say is congratulations, Joey.

00:52:04I'm covering for you.

00:52:06Now, stick that on the outside of the front door

00:52:09and surely even he can't fail to follow that, can he?

00:52:12He can do some funny things.

00:52:14Oh, see how I'm laughing in anticipation.

00:52:17Oh, oh, tell the traffic warden you're a foreigner, Mark.

00:52:20That always works.

00:52:21Oh, good idea.

00:52:22Wait, here's the latch key.

00:52:24Thanks.

00:52:25Won't be long.

00:52:26Come on.

00:52:27Americans always park their cars in the middle of the street.

00:52:31Well, he won't miss anything, Mum, will he?

00:52:33Plenty of time, dear.

00:52:34Don't fuss.

00:52:35You want me to fix those for you?

00:52:37Oh, yes, please.

00:52:38They're complicated.

00:52:40Oh, go on.

00:52:41Come on, sit down.

00:52:43There.

00:52:45Your hands are shaking, too.

00:52:47Yes, well, of course.

00:52:48I'm nervous.

00:52:49Are you sure Dad hasn't forgotten?

00:52:51Positive.

00:52:52I hope he's not late.

00:52:53If you miss the beginning, it's difficult to follow.

00:52:55His opinion means a lot to you, doesn't it?

00:52:59Well, after all, Mum, he's one of the best critics in the world.

00:53:04Keep still.

00:53:06Have you found a place to live yet?

00:53:09Not really.

00:53:10God, the prices.

00:53:11I know.

00:53:12Oh, I pay them when you can live here for nothing.

00:53:16There.

00:53:17Now, isn't that smart?

00:53:20They glitter.

00:53:21Look.

00:53:22Yes.

00:53:23You have to flash them around a bit, preferably under a light.

00:53:27I think the shirt in, don't you?

00:53:30Otherwise, it looks a bit like a nightdress.

00:53:32Okay, Mum.

00:53:34The one thing against going on living here, Mum, is, well, Dad.

00:53:39Dad.

00:53:40You mean a lot to him, Joey.

00:53:42Oh, Mum.

00:53:43No one means a lot to him, and you know it.

00:53:45Not even you.

00:53:46Joey, that's a bad thing to say.

00:53:48Yes, it is.

00:53:49But it's the truth.

00:53:51One has to tell the truth.

00:53:52Has one?

00:53:54Honesty in this life, Mum, is just about the only thing that matters.

00:53:58Is it?

00:53:59Well, we both know that the only person who matters to Dad is Dad.

00:54:03Oh, come on.

00:54:04You've admitted that to me often enough.

00:54:06Well, as a joke, perhaps.

00:54:07No, as the truth.

00:54:09Oh, don't be dishonest, Mum, please.

00:54:12I'm sorry.

00:54:13It's only that, well, I still think you mean something to him, something special.

00:54:20Mum, he can't wait for me to get out of this house.

00:54:23He said so often enough.

00:54:25Well, he doesn't always mean what he says.

00:54:27He means that.

00:54:29Well, I'll agree.

00:54:30He doesn't mean a lot of the other things he talks about.

00:54:33Like politics.

00:54:34I mean, he only spouts Marxist revolution as a kind of spell to prevent it happening.

00:54:40Like some people talk about death.

00:54:41You know the kind.

00:54:43Are politics all that important?

00:54:46Joey, if there's one thing I've learnt from a fairly hectic life,

00:54:50it is that things, beliefs, creeds, ideas, theories are far less important than people.

00:54:58Honestly, Joey, in the end you'll find out it's only people who matter at all.

00:55:04Mum, I'm sorry.

00:55:05I can't stay on.

00:55:07It just isn't possible.

00:55:09If it was just you.

00:55:12No, but it isn't.

00:55:13You don't think the ten days?

00:55:16Oh, if we get through them without actual bloodshed, it'll be a miracle.

00:55:20Oh.

00:55:23Hello?

00:55:25Oh, hello, darling.

00:55:26We were getting worried.

00:55:28Where are you?

00:55:30Oh, you're going to watch it there?

00:55:33With the editor, you mean he's going to watch too?

00:55:35Hey, is it colour?

00:55:36Is it colour, Joey wants to know?

00:55:39Very latest, of course.

00:55:42Yes, yes.

00:55:43I'll give them to him for you.

00:55:46Yes.

00:55:47See you afterwards.

00:55:50He wishes you everything, Joey.

00:55:53The editor?

00:55:55It might get reviewed.

00:55:57That must be Dad's hope, I suppose.

00:55:59You see, he does think of you sometimes.

00:56:02Surprise, surprise.

00:56:03I bet that was your doing.

00:56:06What?

00:56:07I bet you made him get his editor watching.

00:56:09No, it was entirely his own idea.

00:56:12Are you saying I'm a liar?

00:56:14Well, I bet you used pressure.

00:56:17Now, Joey, what pressure have I ever been able to bring on your father to do something he didn't want to do?

00:56:23There you are, you're admitting it.

00:56:25What?

00:56:26That he's selfish and impossible to live with.

00:56:29Joey, I won't have you talking about your father like that.

00:56:31Do you understand?

00:56:32Yes, Mum.

00:56:33Especially after this, this very generous thing that he is doing for you tonight.

00:56:38Going all that way up to the city.

00:56:40Yes, I'm sorry.

00:56:41I'm sorry.

00:56:42And getting his editor to watch.

00:56:43Yes, I know, Mum.

00:56:44I'm sorry.

00:56:45I'm sorry, all right?

00:56:46Okay.

00:56:47All right.

00:56:48I know that during those ten days, you're going to find out a lot more about him.

00:56:55Oh, God, I hope not.

00:56:57Joey, I mean what he's really like.

00:57:00I know what he's really like.

00:57:02Well, so do I.

00:57:03And I've lived with him happily for 28 years and will for the rest of my life.

00:57:09Not necessarily, Mum.

00:57:10I mean, you never know.

00:57:12Someone else might come along.

00:57:14No one else will come along.

00:57:16Well, anyway, it's different for you.

00:57:18You're married to him.

00:57:19I'm not.

00:57:20What?

00:57:21No, you're just his son.

00:57:23Mum, if he'd only once lose an argument.

00:57:29Say he was wrong.

00:57:30Say he was sorry.

00:57:32I know, I know.

00:57:35Oh.

00:57:37Oh.

00:57:38I know my neck's a present to you, Lydia.

00:57:40Only it won't be a present to you.

00:57:42It'll be one to me.

00:57:43A simple hoist.

00:57:45That's all that's needed.

00:57:46Labeled for Mark Walters only.

00:57:49I'm on time, aren't I?

00:57:51Yes, you are, Mr. Walters.

00:57:52Hey, two minutes.

00:57:53Good.

00:57:54I wouldn't have missed a word.

00:57:55Sebastian called.

00:57:56He's going to see it on a much better set than ours.

00:57:59Oh, really?

00:58:00Where?

00:58:01At his editors.

00:58:02Wow.

00:58:03Now, isn't that something?

00:58:04Tell me, Joey, what's it going to be?

00:58:06Writing or politics?

00:58:07Both.

00:58:08Now, you sit here, Mark.

00:58:10The trick is coming on now.

00:58:11We're starting on BBC One, a little later than advertised.

00:58:14Match of the day.

00:58:15Of course, that's what they'll all be watching.

00:58:16Nonsense.

00:58:17Here on two, we have a new 30-minute play in the current series Youth Theatre, entitled

00:58:23The Trial of Maxwell Henry Peabody by Joseph Crockwell.

00:58:27Joseph?

00:58:28Why Joseph?

00:58:29It sounds more like a writer.

00:58:30Yeah, it's a good name, Lydia.

00:58:32Joey's not too good.

00:58:33Joseph Crockwell, that sounds like something.

00:58:35Thank you, Mr. Walters.

00:58:36Maxwell Henry Peabody, come into court.

00:58:43I...

00:58:44I wish to know why I am brought here.

00:58:47Are you Maxwell Henry Peabody?

00:58:49I am.

00:58:50I demand to hear the charge against me.

00:58:52You have already admitted the charge.

00:58:54How could I, when I've heard no charge?

00:58:56The charge is that you are Maxwell Henry Peabody.

00:58:59And to that charge, the court has recorded your answer.

00:59:02I am.

00:59:03Do you have anything to say why sentence should not be passed against you?

00:59:08Oh, this is ridiculous.

00:59:09I have done nothing, I tell you.

00:59:11Nothing, nothing, nothing!

00:59:12I agree, you've done nothing.

00:59:14Nothing to help your fellow human beings.

00:59:16Nothing to save the world from the abyss into which it must soon finally fall.

00:59:20Nothing, save for your own material advantage.

00:59:23And my wife, she's the director of several of my companies.

00:59:26What did you do to save your son?

00:59:27My son isn't worth saving, he's a criminal, a halloween addict.

00:59:30You did nothing to save your son from his afflictions.

00:59:34Maxwell Henry Peabody, I hereby sentence you to the heaviest penalty which the law of humanity allows me.

00:59:40You are condemned to live, to live in this world that you and others like you have made.

00:59:46Let the accused go free, back into that hell pit of horror which he in his life called the free world.

00:59:58There, look how big his name is, Mark.

01:00:01Yes, Joseph is better.

01:00:03Oh, darling, I'm so proud.

01:00:05But did you like it?

01:00:06I loved it, Joey.

01:00:08But did it make you cry?

01:00:09A little, wasn't it meant to?

01:00:11Well, it's really supposed to make one angry.

01:00:13Oh, it did that too.

01:00:14Well, congratulations, young man, on a fine achievement.

01:00:16What the hell is this?

01:00:18If after 10.30 don't come in, I'm covering up a play by another new writer, David Ross.

01:00:26Oh, hell.

01:00:29Good night, Mum.

01:00:31Thanks for watching.

01:00:32But the champagne.

01:00:33No, thanks.

01:00:34Good night, Mr. Walters.

01:00:36Thanks for coming and for the cufflinks and for what you said.

01:00:41It was good. It was real good, Joey.

01:00:43I mean it.

01:00:44Thanks.

01:00:45Oh, Lord.

01:00:50Get it!

01:00:52You bastard!

01:00:59How was it? Terrible?

01:01:02Pretty terrible.

01:01:04Give me a drink, will you?

01:01:07What is it?

01:01:08Scotch?

01:01:09Oh, my God.

01:01:10Oh, my God.

01:01:11I had it written down.

01:01:12I'd tied knots and everything.

01:01:14I'd remembered it at lunch.

01:01:17And then...

01:01:18Thanks.

01:01:19After lunch something happened.

01:01:23A perfect excuse, I suppose, if I could use it.

01:01:25Perfect.

01:01:27But I can't.

01:01:28What was it?

01:01:29What was it?

01:01:30Oh, I can't tell you either, except...

01:01:33I shall have to anyway.

01:01:36But not as an excuse.

01:01:38I have no excuses.

01:01:39I am as God made me, which is an uncaring shit.

01:01:43Oh, damn.

01:01:45Poor little devil.

01:01:48She'd covered up for me.

01:01:49You were watching it with your editor.

01:01:51He's in Tangier.

01:01:52The kid wouldn't have known that.

01:01:54Damn silly cover.

01:01:56I suppose it might have worked, though.

01:01:58Should have made it work.

01:02:01How's she been tonight?

01:02:02I mean, apart from turning into Muhammad Ali.

01:02:05Fine, I thought.

01:02:06Fine, you thought.

01:02:08Did you look at all?

01:02:09Sure.

01:02:10Oh, she didn't look too well, but...

01:02:12I don't suppose she is after her pass out last night.

01:02:15Hungover, I'd say.

01:02:16Eh, well...

01:02:18You'd better brace yourself, I suppose.

01:02:21Have you got a drink?

01:02:22Hmm.

01:02:24You're rather fond of this girl, aren't you?

01:02:28I love her.

01:02:29And I suppose you're what might laughingly be called...

01:02:33one of my best friends.

01:02:37Here, fill this up for me, will you?

01:02:39Sure.

01:02:41And are you?

01:02:42I think you are what...

01:02:47you just said God made you.

01:02:51But, uh...

01:02:52maybe I'm not all that choosy about my best friends.

01:02:56Well, I'm not either.

01:02:58Or I wouldn't choose an ignorant, illiterate pornmonger.

01:03:02Okay, okay.

01:03:03There you are.

01:03:07I'm...

01:03:09embraced.

01:03:12That wasn't a pass out last night.

01:03:17Not an ordinary one.

01:03:19It was a small stroke.

01:03:22How do you know?

01:03:24She's had them before.

01:03:26And these last months, they're getting more frequent.

01:03:31It's one of the things I've been told to look out for, you see.

01:03:35And it's one of the things you've got to look out for, too, when you take her away.

01:03:41I've got a list somewhere.

01:03:43Surely the vodka...

01:03:44Oh, that probably helped.

01:03:46That and the cortisone.

01:03:47So don't let her wallow in the stuff as I did last night.

01:03:50She's been off any drink at all for over six months.

01:03:53So go fairly easy out there.

01:03:55Mind you, the odd binge won't make much difference.

01:03:58Oh, here's that list.

01:03:59I've got the doctor's address in Monte Carlo somewhere, too.

01:04:05Did you say cortisone?

01:04:08Oh, yes.

01:04:09She's been on it six weeks.

01:04:11She doesn't know it, of course.

01:04:13Thinks they're iron pills or something.

01:04:15Old Connie Ziegler.

01:04:18He's her doctor.

01:04:20Uncle Constantine, she calls him.

01:04:22An ex-Estonian.

01:04:23He's quite a wonder.

01:04:24He can get her to believe anything.

01:04:25Oh, where the hell did I put that address?

01:04:27Ah, here it is.

01:04:29Dr. Ziegler.

01:04:31Address is on it.

01:04:33Connie Ziegler called him this afternoon,

01:04:35so he'll be wise to the situation, as your horrible phrase goes.

01:04:40Could you perhaps put me wise, too?

01:04:45I suppose so.

01:04:47I've been trying to put it off.

01:04:50I can't put it off any longer, can I?

01:04:55She's in the terminal stages of leukemia.

01:05:03Ah, sorry.

01:05:05I had to tell you, you see,

01:05:07because old Connie Ziegler wouldn't have let her go otherwise

01:05:11unless I was along.

01:05:13I'm well briefed, you see.

01:05:15What's that dreadful drink you have?

01:05:19Bourbon.

01:05:25Did you say terminal?

01:05:32Yes.

01:05:34How long does that mean?

01:05:36Oh, three or four months.

01:05:39Six at most.

01:05:40Are you positive?

01:05:42It's just the word, I'm afraid.

01:05:46This came from Connie Ziegler by hand to the office this afternoon.

01:05:51He'd had it early this morning from the hospital,

01:05:55but couldn't call me because of Lydia.

01:05:58It's conclusive.

01:06:01Lymphatic leukemia.

01:06:07So that's the something that happened to you after lunch?

01:06:11What?

01:06:13Yes.

01:06:15Without.

01:06:17But, uh, I'd expected it.

01:06:19Connie hadn't given me any hope.

01:06:21He hasn't really for the last three months.

01:06:23Who else has she seen?

01:06:25The best in the country.

01:06:28She doesn't know it, of course,

01:06:29but every man who looks her over in that hospital is handpicked.

01:06:34Of course, they're casual with her.

01:06:37Don't give their names.

01:06:39But they've all been by courtesy of my kind Sunday paper.

01:06:44And all top boys on leukemia.

01:06:47There are cures.

01:06:48Oh, yes, yes.

01:06:50There's this man in Denver, Colorado,

01:06:52who boasts a 70% rate.

01:06:55But he's cagey.

01:06:56He won't take a case as advanced as this.

01:06:59How do you know?

01:07:00Well, I've asked him.

01:07:02I gave him all the facts and figures on the telephone

01:07:04and got our medical correspondent to talk to him, too.

01:07:07Uh, no-go, Mark.

01:07:09He won't risk that 70%.

01:07:11There's another man in Carl's room.

01:07:14I know about him, too.

01:07:15He's just a funny.

01:07:17Christ, Mark!

01:07:19I haven't lacked for advice.

01:07:22If there'd been the faintest chance,

01:07:24I'd have taken it at Timbuktu.

01:07:27And told her I was covering Saharan literature.

01:07:31I'd already got my story ready for Denver.

01:07:34I'd induced some wretched little local college

01:07:37to offer me a resident lectureship.

01:07:39Jesus, imagine that.

01:07:41Now, Winnie Slobovitz,

01:07:43stop groping your neighbour and listen.

01:07:46Ball's ache, as you are pleased to pronounce him,

01:07:48is the name of an important French writer

01:07:50and not an occupational disease.

01:07:52He's...

01:07:56I'm sorry, Mark.

01:07:58My jokes are so feeble these days,

01:08:00it's a wonder she hasn't seen through them.

01:08:03And me.

01:08:05But she hasn't, thank God.

01:08:06I mean, you've seen her alone.

01:08:10Does she have the faintest suspicion

01:08:11I'm concealing something from her?

01:08:13No.

01:08:14Swear?

01:08:15Yes, I'm quite good about never remembering

01:08:20when she's been to the doctor.

01:08:22Getting his name wrong

01:08:23and never noticing when she's feeling ill.

01:08:26Also, never on any account saying,

01:08:28look, I'll do that, darling, don't you bother.

01:08:31Can you imagine anything giving the show away quicker than that?

01:08:35Frankly, I can't.

01:08:36And, er, being one of nature's shits does have its advantages

01:08:42when one's dealing with a dying wife.

01:08:45I want to show you something.

01:08:48Will you say hello, Lydia, very loudly,

01:08:52if you see her on the stairs?

01:08:56I keep these hidden in this hat box.

01:09:00Copies of all her blood counts from six months ago.

01:09:02Connie sends them to me at the office every week.

01:09:06I can't keep them there.

01:09:07Too many nosy parkas.

01:09:09Can't you find a safer place than that?

01:09:11Uh-uh.

01:09:12She goes round this flab, prying into everything.

01:09:15Even the notes for my new novel,

01:09:17which I carefully hid from her,

01:09:18in my Gibbon's decline and fall.

01:09:20She got her nose into those yesterday.

01:09:22Dusting, she said,

01:09:24as if anyone would dust Gibbon without criminal intent.

01:09:28A drawer with a lock?

01:09:30If I had one, she'd pick it.

01:09:33No more look up there.

01:09:35Oh, clever, don't you think?

01:09:37I borrowed the idea from Edgar Allan Poe.

01:09:40Mightn't she want to dust the hat?

01:09:41Don't be a plot.

01:09:43It was a topper to go to the palace in for that OBE thing.

01:09:46And I gave it to Oxfam the next day.

01:09:48No, I keep the hat box up there as an ornament.

01:09:51Anyway, I've worked it out.

01:09:54Neither she nor Mrs. McHiggins can reach it.

01:09:57Clever, I think.

01:09:58I wasn't in intelligence for nothing.

01:10:01Sebastian, are you quite sure you shouldn't tell her?

01:10:08I'm quite sure.

01:10:10For six long years, she had nothing to think of but dying.

01:10:14Now that she is, I'm not letting her go through it again.

01:10:18And besides, if she had any inkling about it all, she'd worry herself sick over Joey.

01:10:27Not over you?

01:10:28Over me.

01:10:30Why should she worry herself over me?

01:10:31She knows I can look after myself.

01:10:33Does she?

01:10:34What with Mrs. McHiggins and maybe Prunella.

01:10:37You said yesterday that...

01:10:38Oh, yes, yes.

01:10:40I laid that on pretty thick for her.

01:10:43Prunella's all right.

01:10:45She's no Lydia, but she's all right.

01:10:50No Lydia.

01:10:52You've got to put up with this a bit, I'm afraid.

01:11:01Self pity, of course.

01:11:03You see, the thing is, Mark, I didn't begin really to love her until I knew I was losing her.

01:11:12That happens.

01:11:13Huh.

01:11:15Perhaps more to uncaring shits than to other people.

01:11:20Like you, for instance.

01:11:23You've always loved her.

01:11:26Yes.

01:11:28And I've...

01:11:30I've only had about six months.

01:11:34Oh, my fault, of course.

01:11:37Anybody but me would have started 28 years earlier.

01:11:45No, Lydia.

01:11:48You'll come no more.

01:11:51Never, never, never.

01:11:54Never, never.

01:11:57Oh, damn!

01:11:59I'll never review that bloody man again.

01:12:02I won't review anyone.

01:12:03After all, they all get under your skin somewhere, if they're any good.

01:12:08No.

01:12:09I'll write my own sob stuff.

01:12:10That's what I'll do.

01:12:11Good idea.

01:12:12Yeah.

01:12:13And I'll sell 10 million paperbacks in advance.

01:12:16Why not?

01:12:17Without one single power man tycoon.

01:12:20Just me and her.

01:12:23Well, changed, of course.

01:12:25But the same balance.

01:12:27Gratitude and duty on one side.

01:12:29Taking for granted the other.

01:12:31The whole adding up to...

01:12:35Something too late.

01:12:37And then...

01:12:40I suppose you'll have to be in it as the escape she refused.

01:12:44Not as you are, of course.

01:12:46No one would believe that.

01:12:48And the joey?

01:12:50Yes.

01:12:52Liberal joey, I suppose.

01:12:54The new assenting young.

01:12:56Oh, God.

01:12:57The poor little sod.

01:12:58He worships his mother.

01:13:01Too much, I suppose.

01:13:02But you can't blame him.

01:13:04Yes.

01:13:06He's going to be quite a handful after...

01:13:09I'll have to try.

01:13:11Tonight won't have helped much, will it?

01:13:14You've got those 10 days.

01:13:1510 days.

01:13:1710 days without her.

01:13:20I don't like to think of that much.

01:13:24Life without Lydia will be unending misery.

01:13:28Then come to.

01:13:30Aha.

01:13:32No, I could, but I've got to get used to...

01:13:36Try to get used to...

01:13:39Oh, damn!

01:13:41Did I feel about her like this from the beginning?

01:13:45It's possible, it's possible.

01:13:47I wouldn't allow myself to...

01:13:50Yes, possible.

01:13:52Do you know what the vice anglais, the English vice, really is?

01:13:59Not flagellation.

01:14:01Not pederasty.

01:14:03Whatever the French believe it to be.

01:14:05It's our refusal to admit to our emotions.

01:14:08We think they demean us, I suppose.

01:14:11Well...

01:14:13I'm being punished now, all right.

01:14:17For a lifetime of vice.

01:14:19Very moral endings to a Victorian novel.

01:14:22I'm becoming maudlin.

01:14:25But...

01:14:27Oh, Mark.

01:14:29Life without Lydia will be...

01:14:34I came to say I was sorry.

01:14:37Husband Beater.

01:14:38I'm apologizing.

01:14:40I shall so inform my solicitors.

01:14:43Good night, Mark.

01:14:45Oh.

01:14:46Am I going?

01:14:47No, I am.

01:14:48Are you going to work?

01:14:49Isn't it too late?

01:14:50Yes to the first, no to the second.

01:14:53Wouldn't you like some of this food?

01:14:56It would turn to ashes in my mouth.

01:15:01Did I hurt him?

01:15:02Uh-uh.

01:15:04I could have hit him much harder, you know.

01:15:07And kicked him, too, on the ground.

01:15:09Queensbury rules my fanny.

01:15:11Is he really working or just sulking?

01:15:14Sulking, I'd say.

01:15:16I'm going.

01:15:18Thank you so very much, Marcus.

01:15:21Joey really did appreciate it.

01:15:24How is he?

01:15:25His bed, of course.

01:15:27How could any human being do a thing like that to his son?

01:15:32How could he?

01:15:33What's his excuse?

01:15:34He forgot.

01:15:36I mean his excuse for forgetting.

01:15:38About the best a man could have, I guess.

01:15:41You take his side?

01:15:42Yes.

01:15:43On this.

01:15:45Well, what is his excuse?

01:15:52Look, that thing up there, it needs dusting.

01:15:58The hat box?

01:15:59Yeah, you can see the dust from here.

01:16:02But I can't reach it.

01:16:04Ah.

01:16:05No, no, no, no, not now.

01:16:07Tomorrow.

01:16:09When Sebastian's out.

01:16:11After you've dusted it, inside as well as out,

01:16:15you'll just have to play it your way.

01:16:18Both of you.

01:16:19And then, together or separately,

01:16:21tell me how I'm to play mine.

01:16:24I see.

01:16:26He's hidden something there.

01:16:28Yeah.

01:16:29Something he doesn't want me to see.

01:16:31You bet.

01:16:32The wily bastard.

01:16:34Love letters?

01:16:36Kind of.

01:16:37You mean serious?

01:16:39Very serious, I think.

01:16:41Narkin, I suppose.

01:16:43No, someone else.

01:16:45Oh, I wish I had kicked him.

01:16:48I wish I'd killed him.

01:16:50And why are you giving him away?

01:16:52You're supposed to be his friend.

01:16:54I'm supposed to be yours, too, Lydia.

01:16:59That's what's made my life these last two days a little, um, confusing.

01:17:06I'll, um...

01:17:08I'll call you tomorrow.

01:17:10Yes.

01:17:11Yes, please.

01:17:15How dare he hide letters.

01:17:19But...

01:17:21I'm not going to look.

01:17:23I'm not a spy.

01:17:25Not even the larkin girl.

01:17:28It's nothing to do with me.

01:17:32Love letters.

01:17:36Oh, I wish Mark hadn't told me.

01:17:40Oh, what the hell.

01:17:42I want to know.

01:17:43No.

01:17:59Oh.

01:18:01Sebastian.

01:18:02Sebastian.

01:18:08My darling Sebastian.

01:18:10I've been trying to write him a letter you could shove under his door.

01:18:15But it's no good.

01:18:17My Mandarin style gets in the way.

01:18:20It would.

01:18:22I suppose I would have seen the little sword.

01:18:24What little sword?

01:18:26Oh, the two in the flat.

01:18:27Where is he?

01:18:29If you are referring to our son,

01:18:32Joseph Crotwell Dramatist, he's in bed.

01:18:35Oh, darling, do stop sniffling.

01:18:37You know how I hate it.

01:18:38I wasn't sniffling.

01:18:39You were.

01:18:41Those things under your eyes are tears, aren't they?

01:18:44I'm not coming in range.

01:18:46I think you should know,

01:18:48I once hit a sub-editor.

01:18:51And he was off duty for a week.

01:18:53And he wasn't any smaller than you either.

01:18:55Either.

01:18:56However, not at that.

01:18:59How about Joey?

01:19:01What's done is done.

01:19:05And can, by dint of my overwhelming charm, be undone.

01:19:10I shall speak to him personally.

01:19:12I shouldn't rely on your overwhelming charm.

01:19:16I mean, why not let him see you once as you really are?

01:19:21I think I know a father's duty towards his son without prompting from you, madam.

01:19:26All right.

01:19:27Go and get him down.

01:19:28No.

01:19:29You go up.

01:19:31Me?

01:19:33Knock timidly at his door and beg leave to enter that room with all those liberal posters on the wall.

01:19:40Crawl across the carpet like a penitent.

01:19:43Abase myself like Henry IV at Conossa.

01:19:46Scourge myself.

01:19:50All right.

01:19:52I'll go.

01:19:53He seems to be asleep.

01:20:08Well, there they are.

01:20:12Tomorrow, don't you think?

01:20:13Why are you looking at me like that?

01:20:17A cat may look at a king.

01:20:20In Estonia, perhaps.

01:20:22In England, a cat may look at a queen.

01:20:26And whatever I am, I'm not that.

01:20:29No, whatever you are, you aren't, are you?

01:20:32Are you drunk again?

01:20:34Vodka?

01:20:36Something kind of headier.

01:20:38You'll end up an alcoholic.

01:20:43Hmm.

01:20:45Well, it sounds rather good.

01:20:47Who made it?

01:20:48Joey?

01:20:49No.

01:20:50Oh, you did.

01:20:51It's my grab mousse and you've had it a million times.

01:20:54Oh, it just seemed rather better than usual.

01:20:58I'm very sorry, Mum.

01:21:00I left you to clear up alone.

01:21:02That's all right, darling.

01:21:03I can do that myself.

01:21:05No, I'll help you.

01:21:06Oh, thank you.

01:21:08Darling, would you fix that draught for me in my workroom?

01:21:14Oh, yes.

01:21:16Yes, I will.

01:21:18I think it's coming from the window.

01:21:20Yes, I shouldn't be surprised.

01:21:25Joey, put those things down.

01:21:29Come and sit down, will you?

01:21:30Joey, I behaved to you tonight like a thoughtless bastard.

01:21:43I am that, sometimes.

01:21:46And I behave like that, sometimes.

01:21:50If you like, you can say, usually.

01:21:52Or always.

01:21:55But tonight was the worst thing I've ever done to anyone.

01:22:05Anywhere.

01:22:07I'm sure I'll do some bad things to you, Joey, in the future.

01:22:13If we're still seeing each other.

01:22:15But I can never do anything quite as bad as I did tonight.

01:22:20I don't believe you forgot, Dad.

01:22:23I believe you did it deliberately.

01:22:25All right.

01:22:27I can see you'd rather think that.

01:22:29So would I.

01:22:31It's less damaging to the ego.

01:22:33The plain, sordid fact is that I forgot.

01:22:37How could you, Dad?

01:22:39I did.

01:22:41And I had no excuse at all.

01:22:43Now, listen.

01:22:46What I intend to do is this.

01:22:47I shall get the critic on our paper to ask for a playback.

01:22:53Oh, Dad. This is all talk.

01:22:55At TV Centre.

01:22:57For me, for him.

01:22:58Dad.

01:22:59Not for my editor, who's in Tangier.

01:23:01And for anyone else who wants to see it.

01:23:03Dad.

01:23:04You, of course, too.

01:23:05Talk!

01:23:06And our television critic will review it.

01:23:07I don't know what he'll say, and it'll have to be next week, but he'll mention it in his column.

01:23:15I promise.

01:23:17Is this on the level?

01:23:19Or will you forget again?

01:23:21I said you could insult me, but there's no need to kick me in the crutch.

01:23:25Now, if I do that for you, will you do something for me?

01:23:34What?

01:23:36Just stay right where you are, and show me for once how you can justify all that hissing that goes on behind my chair.

01:23:46Daddy, it's late.

01:23:52Only for liberals.

01:23:54Not for men.

01:23:56Go on. You be white.

01:23:58Fifty pence on this.

01:24:01I'll want two pawns handicap.

01:24:04One.

01:24:07Done.

01:24:12That's not in my twelve easy openings for beginners.

01:24:16Oh.

01:24:21Right, Dad.

01:24:22My game.

01:24:24What do you mean, your game?

01:24:25You moved your king three squares.

01:24:28My queen.

01:24:29King.

01:24:30Oh, blast, Mark Walters.

01:24:32These pieces are going straight back to Hong Kong.

01:24:35I've told him a hundred times.

01:24:36Fifty pence, please, Dad.

01:24:38Are you mad?

01:24:39The rules say firmly.

01:24:41You must play the rules, dear.

01:24:42You keep out of this.

01:24:43Go and do something useful some way.

01:24:45Better still, go to bed.

01:24:46Yes, ma'am.

01:24:47We'll clear up.

01:24:48Yes, Joey, we'll clear up.

01:24:49Give Joey his fifty pence.

01:24:51Oh, go to hell, both of you.

01:24:53Oh, Charlie.

01:24:54Thank you, Dad.

01:24:55Lose on my foot.

01:24:56I didn't lose.

01:24:57I made a tiny human error in laying out these monstrosities of chessmen.

01:25:01Good night.

01:25:02No, no, no, no, no, no, my boy.

01:25:03Oh, oh, oh, oh.

01:25:04If you think you're taking that fifty pence of mine to bed, you're making a big mistake.

01:25:07Come on.

01:25:08Come back.

01:25:09Start again.

01:25:10Double or quits.

01:25:11Okay.

01:25:12Same moves, but this time we're the right pieces in the right places.

01:25:17Right.

01:25:18Well, good night.

01:25:19Good night.

01:25:20Oh, good night.

01:25:21Don't jump up and down, Joey.

01:25:22It's distracting.

01:25:23You can say good night sitting down, can't you?

01:25:26Good night, little thing.

01:25:27Good night.

01:25:28Good night.

01:25:29I'm afraid your liberal leader is coming under a little pressure.

01:25:38Your Mao Tse Tung doesn't look too happy either, Dad.

01:25:42What?

01:25:43Oh.

01:25:47Yes, I can see you've played before.

01:25:49Oh, well, well.

01:25:51Do you know, those ten days without her might be quite fun.

01:25:57Oh, sorry, darling.

01:25:58Didn't see you were still there.

01:26:00I know you didn't.

01:26:02Go on.

01:26:03Go on.

01:26:04Move, Joey.

01:26:05Move.

01:26:06We haven't got all night.

01:26:12Except, I suppose, we have.

01:26:21That was In Praise of Love by Terence Rattigan.

01:26:26Sebastian Crutwell was played by Anthony Quayle, Lydia by Muriel Pavlo, Joey, John Bull, and Mark Walters, Robert Beatty.

01:26:38The television announcer was played by Brian Carroll, and the television actors were Godfrey Kenton and Danny Schiller.

01:26:46The play was directed by Peter King.

01:26:47The play was directed by Peter King.

01:26:49The sea was directed by Peter King.

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