00:00Why does Crystal turn me into an outdoorsman?
00:30Why does Crystal turn me into an outdoorsman?
01:00Why does Crystal turn me into an outdoorsman?
01:18Why does Crystal turn me into an outdoorsman?
01:24Why does Crystal turn me into an outdoorsman?
01:40Trevor! Martin!
01:42You know, I've been thinking about it, and I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to accept an apology.
01:47Where is my wife?
01:49Patricia, he doesn't want to speak to you. And frankly, neither do I.
01:54I will find you!
01:56Mmm-kay. Well, I'll put some coffee on then. I'll see you soon!
02:19I'm sorry, but I'm not even sure if I'm done.
02:24You've got l京s for a shot of the display.
02:28There you are.
02:29I got a pair of two lines.
02:31Tr combatants brought in.
02:33I need them!
02:35I need them to do the same.
02:37I need them.
02:39I need them.
02:41I need them to do the same.
02:44I need them.
02:45I need them.
03:47You keep your eyes peeled.
04:03We don't want to miss any telltale signs.
04:06You don't want to miss any funny spices?
04:11I don't see anything, boss.
04:13Hey, give me your documents.
04:15What?
04:15Give me your passport, mom.
04:18I don't fucking understand you.
04:19Ah, but you don't speak English.
04:20What's the fuck with you?
04:22I'm saying, show you the passport.
04:23You're all illegals as one.
04:26You're under arrest, you understand?
04:28America is a country of opportunities, and I'm using it with opportunities.
04:31Send you back to the border, where you're at.
04:33What?
04:34Very good, Joseph.
04:36Real fine.
04:37We'll make a civilian protector of our nation's borders from undesirable elements of you yet.
04:42Sorry, citizen.
04:43Just a training exercise.
04:45Ah, okay.
04:46Well, I'm so glad that you patriots are out here, defending this fine American desert sand.
04:54Well, thank you.
04:56When you could be in town, fucking some girls, and further destroying the gene pool.
05:00Hey, there's a real problem here.
05:03Yes, people are motivated by the need to feed their families.
05:06They're going to work here for a while, and they're going to kill them in this country.
05:10It's a disaster.
05:11And that's why we formed the Civil Border Patrol.
05:17Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
05:20My Patriot meter is going off.
05:23Huh?
05:25Come on, both of you.
05:27We've got some illegals over them hills.
05:29Come on, come on, you drive.
05:31Your job, let's go.
05:33Drive, get in the back.
05:34Let's go.
05:35What's your name, citizen?
05:40I'm Joe, that there's Joseph.
05:42Trevor.
05:43Okay, Trevor.
05:44Well, it's saying we need to head for the Yellow Jack Inn.
05:47Oh, good.
05:49They love me in there.
05:50I'm definitely getting a strong reading.
05:52The Patriot meter predicts undesirables with up to 79% accuracy.
06:00Surely this is a sick joke.
06:02I mean, I love hanging with freaks, but you two losers cannot be for real.
06:08Unfortunately, this is as real as it gets.
06:12These people are criminals who threaten our way of life and drive down our property prices.
06:17They think they can come here in search of the best life for themselves and their family.
06:22This contradicts the Constitution.
06:23Come one, come all, I say.
06:26This country's got bigger problems to deal with.
06:29Well, that's because you've been brainwashed by the secular media.
06:33Don't you worry, though.
06:34We'll convert you.
06:35My brother showed some, uh, well, let's just call it sexual weakness in his younger days.
06:42But now he's a happily married man with three children and he rarely acts out.
06:47Hey, if you do well in your civil board at patrol trial, we will, of course, pay you for your time.
06:53Last time I looked, this was still a service-driven market economy.
06:57Well, they must be inside.
06:59Go see if you can flush them out, Trevor.
07:00Is there any place in the world I'd rather be than drunk as a skunk at the Alamo Sea?
07:12Diet sodas are out of course.
07:13Hey, you're banned.
07:15Ugh, this is pointless.
07:17Everyone in here has done something illegal.
07:19I put up naked pics of my ex.
07:21Got crazy traffic for the site Ebolote.
07:25I don't care.
07:26Hey, Trevor, get out here now.
07:29They're in that car.
07:31Let's go.
07:32Get in.
07:33We're going to lose them.
07:40Go.
07:41Go.
07:42Let's bring them in, boys.
07:43Here, take the stun gun.
07:45Really?
07:46Nobody needs to die here.
07:47We're civilized people.
07:53Sounds like they're having a lot more fun in their car.
07:56Look at them.
07:57Drunk out of their minds.
07:58On Uncle Sam's dime.
08:00And the population of the country is the same.
08:02It's not American.
08:04Hold on to your pointed hat.
08:07We're taking the scenic route.
08:08They're a law unto themselves.
08:11Keep those stun guns at the ready, my friend.
08:13They're probably gang members.
08:15I heard that some of these undesirables are trafficking illegal guns into our very, very peaceful country.
08:24Mmm.
08:25Now who'd do a thing like that?
08:28What did you have?
08:41A drink at the bar?
08:43This is why you never let a rookie drive.
09:03Look, now, now's our chance.
09:21Don't subdue those illegals, Trevor.
09:23I want to see how you handle that stun gun.
09:25I'm well-fed!
09:26Who are you guys?
09:27Oh my lord!
09:28You can't be in the Civil Border Patrol if you can't use a stun gun!
09:46My God!
09:48Sorry about that, pal!
09:50Don't apologize to them! They're the ones breaking the law here!
09:54Okay, okay. I do what you say.
09:58Very nice, Trevor. Respectful, but firm.
10:02We can handle it from here. Get in the vehicle! You've had your fun.
10:06It's time to go home!
10:08Please, no more! I go with you!
10:12My chance, pendejo!
10:14You don't like music?
10:16I don't want to rain on your parade,
10:18but we'll never get them into the vehicle
10:20if you don't let them stand up!
10:28Well, thanks for the help, citizen!
10:30America's a little bit safer because of you!
10:44Love you, there we go!
10:48Hmm?
10:54I got you!
