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FunTranscript
00:00Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons, hoping to find we're two of a kind.
00:15Make it a go, make it a go, together, we're gonna find our way, together, taking the time each day, to learn all about those things you just can't buy.
00:37Two silver spoons together, you and I together, we're gonna find our way, you and I together, we're gonna find our way, you and I together.
01:07We made it, Colonel. We got the mail through.
01:27Well, thanks, fellas, you were swell.
01:29Hello, Edward, I, oh, excuse me, I didn't realize you had company.
01:39Colonel Ricky Stratton, ma'am.
01:42The bravest cavalry officer in the West, who single-handedly just saved your scalp from an angry pack of renegade servants.
01:49Oh, well, thank you, sir.
01:52Shucks.
01:55Torned up, ma'am.
01:57Kate, you're all packed and ready to go?
01:58Mm-hmm.
01:59You excited about your vacation?
02:00Oh, not really. I've been on ocean cruises before.
02:03They're nothing but seasickness, sunburn, and bad food.
02:07Then why do you go?
02:08To have fun.
02:10Come on, Kate, fess up.
02:12This is a singles cruise, right?
02:15Edward, it's an opportunity for diverse, dignified people to meet and travel to foreign islands.
02:20Well, thus learning the custom and the history of the indigenous natives.
02:24Gee, sounds great. Who's the sponsor?
02:26Club Whoopi.
02:28Colonel, why don't you check the engine there for aero damage?
02:36Yes, sir.
02:37Kate?
02:40Kate, uh...
02:41Listen, I know how expensive these cruises can be.
02:45I mean, the first port you come to, you buy a dozen carved coconut heads, you're tapped out.
02:50Anyway, uh...
02:52Here.
02:59This is $1,000.
03:02Edward, you're too generous.
03:04Well, no, only with people I really like.
03:07Oh, thank you.
03:10Kate, I want you to have a real good time.
03:12Hey, who knows? Maybe you'll meet a nice guy.
03:14Goodbye.
03:15Yeah.
03:16Can I say goodbye now?
03:18Is there more stuff I'm not supposed to hear?
03:22I'm gonna miss you.
03:30Well...
03:31Goodbye.
03:33Bye.
03:33Well, I'd better hurry.
03:37The guys without gold chains go fast.
03:42Bye.
03:47Bye.
03:47Bye.
03:48Bye.
03:49Bye.
03:53So.
03:54Oh.
03:54What do you want to do now, Dad?
03:55Play a game or something?
03:57Nah, there's nothing to play with here.
04:01Then I think it's time we had a man-to-man talk.
04:05Uh-oh.
04:06Don't worry.
04:06You didn't do anything wrong.
04:11Dad.
04:12Hmm?
04:12I was wondering.
04:15Are you a monk?
04:19What do you mean?
04:24It's just that I've been here a while now
04:26and you haven't gone out on any dates.
04:28Well, son, I...
04:30I thought it was important
04:31that I try to spend as much time as possible with you.
04:34Besides, I wasn't really sure
04:36how you'd feel about me dating.
04:38Come on, Dad.
04:38I wasn't born in the woods, you know.
04:42I understand that a man has needs.
04:45Oh.
04:46Oh.
04:49You do?
04:50Yeah.
04:51Sure, I have needs, too.
04:54Just too young to do anything about it.
05:00Well, there is this one lady
05:01that I'm working on the masquerade ball
05:03for the Children's Hospital with.
05:04Her name's Helen Winslow.
05:06You like her?
05:07Well, yeah.
05:07She's intelligent, charming.
05:10Is she...
05:13No.
05:14More like...
05:18Hey, then go for it, Dad.
05:20Well, maybe I will.
05:21Maybe I will.
05:21Hey, how about you?
05:22You got a girl you're interested in?
05:25Nope.
05:26Still at that awkward age.
05:27You know, when girls are yucky?
05:29But not as yucky as they used to be.
05:31Well, it's only a matter of time
05:33till you fall in love.
05:35Really?
05:36Yeah.
05:37How am I gonna know
05:38when I'm in love?
05:40Well, you'll know.
05:42You won't be able to think straight.
05:44You'll be dizzy.
05:45You'll lose your appetite.
05:48I already felt that way.
05:50You did?
05:51Tom ate some bad fish.
05:53Hey, Rick.
06:08It sure is hot today, isn't it?
06:11Not really.
06:13No, I just had some water.
06:15Oh, is it great?
06:16It was cool, clear, refreshing.
06:22Come on.
06:23That stuff tastes like nuclear waste.
06:26Not anymore.
06:28I think they must have put
06:29a new filter in it or something.
06:31Try it.
06:37What a sap.
06:40Look, Derek.
06:43Look, Derek.
06:53I'm Derek Taylor.
07:06Of course, the ladies around here call me Derek the Dude.
07:11Look, Dud.
07:13That's Dude.
07:14Buzz off.
07:15She's crazy about me.
07:17She's crazy about me.
07:18She's crazy about me.
07:19Excuse me.
07:23Excuse me?
07:25Excuse me?
07:26Me?
07:27Because I'm having a little trouble getting my locker open.
07:28I wonder if you could help me.
07:30Hey.
07:31No problem.
07:31That was really great.
07:32I don't know if you could help me.
07:32I don't know if you could help me.
07:33I don't know if you could help me.
07:34Hey.
07:35No problem.
07:36That was really great.
07:37Now could you help me with mine?
07:39Excuse me.
07:44Excuse me?
07:47Me?
07:48Because I'm having a little trouble getting my locker open.
07:51I wonder if you could help me.
07:57Hey.
07:58No problem.
07:59That was really great.
08:01Now could you help me with mine?
08:05Right.
08:09It's this one.
08:14Hey.
08:16There we go.
08:17No sweat.
08:19Thanks.
08:21You're, um, you're new out here, aren't you?
08:24Yes, I just transferred.
08:26My name's Sally Frumble.
08:29You have a name?
08:34Well, uh, what is it?
08:37My name?
08:38Yeah.
08:38Let's try it.
08:52Um, Ricky, Ricky something.
08:57Ricky Stratton?
08:58Ricky Rive!
09:00Yes!
09:01Are you feeling okay?
09:06Just a little dizzy.
09:07I'll probably eat some bad fish.
09:13Ha-ha!
09:15Ha-ha!
09:16There thou art me!
09:20What's in salt, my fair Roxanne, sir?
09:23Ha-ha!
09:24Stand and be delivered, sir.
09:26I see thou hast stood thy ground and taste my sword, sir.
09:28Ha-ha!
09:29Ha-ha!
09:30Ha!
09:31Ha-ha!
09:31Ha-ha!
09:32Ha-ha!
09:32Ha-ha!
09:33You okay, Phil?
09:38Hi, Dad.
09:39Oh, hi, Rick.
09:40I was just trying on my Serenault de Bergerac costume.
09:44I invited Helen Winslow to the Masquerade Ball.
09:47Hey, that's great.
09:48Really great.
09:50Hey, how you doing, Phil?
09:53Well, you're in a good mood.
09:55You know what happened to me today?
09:57I discovered the two most beautiful words in the English language.
10:00Yeah?
10:00What are they?
10:01Sally Frumble.
10:05Rick, I don't want to cry, but is this, uh, Sally Frumble somebody special?
10:12I hope so, or I'm acting real dumb for nothing.
10:16Is she, uh...
10:18Dad, she's 12.
10:20She's...
10:21Look at this.
10:28Ten pages of Sally Frumbles.
10:30Oh, it's E-L instead of L-E.
10:32Gee, that is pretty.
10:35It's weird, Dad.
10:37Sally is all I can think about.
10:39Well, why don't you ask her to a movie some Saturday afternoon?
10:42Well, that's a great idea.
10:45While she's looking at the film, I can stare at her.
10:50Can you ask her for me?
10:52Well, Rick, now, wait a minute.
10:53I think that's your job.
10:55I can't, Dad.
10:56Every time I try and talk to her, my tongue goes on strike.
11:00Come on.
11:02Give her a call.
11:03You'll find your mouth will start to work when it's disconnected from your eyeballs.
11:09I can't do it.
11:10What do you mean you can't?
11:11I asked Helen Winslow.
11:12If I can do it, you can do it.
11:14You're right.
11:15I can do it.
11:16Good show, sir.
11:18Methinks I hear some blackguards in the library.
11:20Wouldst excuse me, sir?
11:21Yes, I wouldst.
11:23Good show.
11:23I must away.
11:24Oh, hello.
11:38Is Sally Frimble there?
11:40Yeah, thanks.
11:43Hello, silly, this is Rocky.
11:45No, no.
11:46I mean, Ricky, this is Sally.
11:47No, no, no.
11:48No, I'm not Sally.
11:49That's silly.
11:50Right, Rocky?
11:51Excuse me.
11:58Give me that phone, Dwayne.
12:07Sally, this is Rick.
12:13Good on, good.
12:14Yeah, younger brothers.
12:17Listen, I was wondering if you're not doing anything or something.
12:22Well, see what I mean is, if you'd like to see a movie with maybe me, Saturday afternoon.
12:30You will?
12:31Great.
12:32Great.
12:32Shall we meet her tomorrow?
12:38Stay around noon-ish?
12:42I'm really looking forward to it, Sally.
12:46Ciao.
12:50All right!
12:51I did it!
12:53What you writing there?
13:04Nothing.
13:06None of your business.
13:10It's probably another drippy love letter to Sally.
13:14Now, would you please tie your shoes?
13:21Give me that back, Derek.
13:22Derek, to my sweet Sally Frumble.
13:30I don't know why the sky is blue.
13:33I don't know why, but the sea is, too.
13:36I don't know why a cow goes moo.
13:40All I know is that I love you.
13:43Oh, Gatner, the spoon.
13:48Derek, before I met Sally, that might have made me mad.
13:51But now, I'm a mature guy.
13:59Rick, since you show signs of being more than an average run-of-the-mill hockey puck,
14:04I'm going to tell you the truth about your girlfriend.
14:07What are you talking about?
14:08Well, how can I put this delicately?
14:12Well, let's just say that Sally is every guy's pally.
14:16You're sick.
14:24That's a lie.
14:26And I know Sally.
14:27I know we've got something really special going together.
14:30And nothing you can say about her is going to change that.
14:34Fine.
14:35Let's just drop the subject, then.
14:36I'll have to go anyway.
14:37Okay.
14:41I don't know why a cow goes moo.
14:49Mrs. Stratton!
14:50Hi, men.
14:51You seem to be in high spirits.
14:53Well, I just had a date with a wonderful woman.
14:55She would have to be exceptional to be worthy of you, sir.
14:58Well, thank you, Derek.
15:00Truth must be told.
15:01Well, I should be going now.
15:04I want to read my favorite book before I turn in.
15:07I hope to get through the Gospel of St. Luke.
15:10All right.
15:13So, how'd it go tonight?
15:15Well, over dinner, Helen and I discussed what costumes we wear to the Masquerade Balls.
15:19I wanted us to go as Cyrano and Roxanne,
15:21but she wanted to go as George and Martha Washington.
15:23So we compromised.
15:24We're going as Heckle and Jekyll.
15:28Are you in love with Helen?
15:29No, I wouldn't say I'm in love.
15:31I'm madly in like.
15:34Well, I'm madly in love.
15:35Well, I can see that.
15:37What have we here?
15:39Just a love poem.
15:41Oh, a love poem, huh?
15:44Don't read it.
15:45It's embarrassing.
15:46Oh, come on.
15:48You don't have to be embarrassed.
15:51I'll never forget the poem I wrote to my first love.
15:54Edna Hinnerbitson.
15:57Your teeth.
15:59Are like snow-capped mountains.
16:02Your eyes are like deep blue lakes.
16:06Your hair.
16:07Isn't the greatest.
16:08I guess those are the bricks.
16:12Well, how'd you take it?
16:13I still have the scar here somewhere.
16:15Well, that could never happen between Sally and me.
16:20Because tomorrow, I'm making a big move.
16:23I'm talking commitment.
16:27I'm talking full partnership.
16:30I'm talking lifetime together.
16:31I'm giving Sally Frumble my ID bracelet.
16:39Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
17:09Sally, I just want you to know that
17:12these last tweaks
17:14have been the most exciting of my life.
17:18As far as I'm concerned, you're the best.
17:22You're the best with me too, Ricky.
17:23We're like Anthony and Cleopatra.
17:26Romeo and Juliet.
17:28Joanie and Chachi.
17:32You're a perfect pair.
17:34I want the whole world to know just how I feel about you.
17:37So what I'm really trying to say is,
17:40Sally, you wear my ID bracelet?
17:43No.
17:43That's great, but...
17:44Did you say no?
17:50Ricky, there's something I've got to show you.
17:53You're already wearing an ID bracelet.
17:57Judson W. Motsenbacher?
18:01You're going with Hose Nose?
18:03His name is Judson.
18:08I'm sorry, Ricky.
18:10On the way to school this morning,
18:11a car ran a stop sign.
18:13It would have run me over
18:14if Judson hadn't pushed me out of the way.
18:17He saved my life.
18:20You fell for that line?
18:22That is the oldest one in the book!
18:27Are you okay?
18:28Hey, how can I handle it?
18:32Um, I want us to be friends.
18:35Yeah, sure.
18:36You and I can be friends.
18:38Hope we don't mind if I hate Hose Nose.
18:41You're so cute.
18:44That's me.
18:47Mr. Cute.
18:48Sure you're okay.
18:57Hey!
18:57Can't wait till Christmas.
19:25Packs up all my cares and woes, here I go, singing low.
19:33Do you mind?
19:35Sorry.
19:37You know something?
19:38I think my last slurping suck was watered down.
19:42I want to speak to hilarious Hal.
19:44I'm hilarious.
19:50I should have known.
19:52Well, would you make the next one a little stronger, please?
19:54My son here is trying to drown his sorrows.
20:00I can't believe it.
20:02I finally met the one in my dreams.
20:05She dumps me.
20:07I'm only 12.
20:09Do you realize how many years I have left to be miserable?
20:13Rick, time heals all wounds.
20:23It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
20:30If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
20:37You better start fixing another round for me and Ben Franklin.
20:42Sally, why?
20:48You're really hurting, aren't you?
20:51I've never felt so awful in my whole life.
20:54One minute I'm sad.
20:56The next minute I'm empty.
20:57The next minute I'm angry.
21:00I feel so bad.
21:02Ricky.
21:04You know sometimes in Bugs Bunny cartoons,
21:06there'll be a thing where Bugs Bunny drives over Elmer Fudd with a steam roller.
21:10And Elmer Fudd comes out flat as a board.
21:13That's how I feel.
21:16Like a flat hood.
21:25I wish I could just snap my fingers and make all the pain go away.
21:31Hey, why don't you take your cue from Elmer?
21:34Whenever he got flattened, he'd just blow on his thumb and we inflate himself.
21:43Nice try, Dad, but I'm through with this love stuff forever.
21:53Listen to me, remember?
22:00Listen to me, remember how good you felt these last two weeks when you were with Sally?
22:05I could see it in your eyes, you were walking on air.
22:08Wasn't that a terrific feeling?
22:10Yeah, I was, but I got shot down.
22:13Well, but that's because you took the risk.
22:15You made yourself vulnerable.
22:17And when you're vulnerable, you can get hurt.
22:21But maybe the next time you fall in love, you won't get hurt.
22:27But you'll never know unless you're willing to take that risk.
22:31I understand what you're saying, Dad.
22:34From now on, I'm just, I'm just through with girls, okay?
22:39Forever, I'm through with girls, okay?
22:41Okay?
22:43Let's go.
22:44Let's go.
22:45Let's go.
22:46Let's go.
22:47Let's go.
22:48Let's go.
22:49Let's go.
22:50Let's go.
22:51Let's go.
22:52Let's go.
23:23Which one do you want?
23:28I'll take the tall one.
23:53To learn all about those things you just can't find.
23:59To assume the spoons together.
24:03You and together.
24:06We're gonna find our way.
24:08We're gonna find our way.
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