- 6/15/2025
Five working-class lads are given the chance to be in one of the biggest boy bands, but bitter rifts swiftly emerge and a secret surfaces.
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00:00The following programme contains strong language.
00:23We were the most unlikely bunch to succeed.
00:27We weren't perfect, we weren't polished.
00:31We were a bunch of kids, put together,
00:35pushed out on a world stage.
00:40Told to look like superstars.
00:43Perhaps that was part of our charm.
01:00And the winner is...
01:05And the winner is...
01:07My zone!
01:08Look at that one.
01:09Look at that one.
01:10Look at that one.
01:11Turn that way. Look at that one.
01:12There's a picture of you in my mind.
01:15Look at that one.
01:16Look at that one.
01:17Look at that one.
01:18Look at that one.
01:19Turn that way. Look at that one.
01:21There was a massive argument in the dressing room.
01:31And I lost the plot.
01:33The band imploded.
01:34I was ready to get the fuck out of there.
01:37It was a lonely time.
01:38Standing on a stage in front of 100,000 people.
01:42Fucking lonely.
01:44It was absolutely scandalous and horrendous what the newspaper did to Stephen.
01:50The famous Louis Walsh.
01:52Louis hurt me.
01:53He knew how to hurt me.
01:56Vicious, bitchy, horrible things.
01:59I think he was afraid that the monster might become bigger than the creator.
02:03As it became bigger, so did their egos.
02:07They believed their own publicity.
02:09They forgot I wrote it.
02:11Good evening, Manchester!
02:13The boy's own singer Stephen Gately has died.
02:19He was 33.
02:25It's very hard.
02:34We loved each other, the five of us.
02:38But you never truly allow people to see all of you and who you are.
02:43I don't think I have processed everything that's happened in my life.
02:47I don't know how much they do know about me and my struggles.
02:53After 30 years, I think now is the time to talk about it and close this chapter in our lives.
03:13I'm not much better.
03:14I'm not.
03:15I'm not.
03:16I'm not.
03:17I'm not.
03:18I'm not.
03:24There we go.
03:27Okay, so I want you to take me back.
03:35Early nineties.
03:36Looking back on it, the 90s were a fucking blur.
03:42What is love? Baby, don't hurt me.
03:45Three, two, one, go, Bobby!
04:01Another fantastic year to take that.
04:04They swept the smash hits over the party board, completely closed.
04:15In 1993, I was 16 years of age.
04:18I was in school.
04:20We were a working class family in Dublin, didn't have a lot of money.
04:24There was a story in the paper.
04:26They're holding auditions for the Irish answer to take that.
04:30This was right up my street. I love to sing, love to perform.
04:34It was happening that evening around the corner, and I remember just seeing these big lines of guys all down the stairs, outside, out onto the street.
04:45About 300 lads. I remember walking in and walking up the stairs and looking at these guys thinking, wow, they look like pop stars.
04:52They look like pop stars.
04:53Grab us at the night outside the stairs and outside the stairs.
04:55Make that music.
04:56Yeah.
04:56I've got noisy.
04:57It allows for that.
04:58Yeah.
04:59I've got noisy to people and everything, and then it can line up the stairs.
05:00All right, yeah.
05:02Let's start hoping day.
05:03He'll be getting that music.
05:04That's it for an instant mother.
05:06Oh, I've seen fire, I've seen red, yeah.
05:09I've seen lassen, red, yeah.
05:11Oh, I see the sunny days never pop, but never real, yeah.
05:14I just remember thinking, I'm never going to get in.
05:21I clearly remember that, a million percent.
05:26But I got noticed by Louis Walsh.
05:35I'm just waking up properly.
05:37That's fine.
05:41I prefer ordinary people.
05:44Because they work harder, and they do whatever you wanted to start.
05:49I wanted to do, like, an Irish version of Take That.
05:53I was looking for boys with personality, and talent, and fun, and Irish charm.
06:01I wanted that.
06:02It was all about, what are girls going to like?
06:06I had met Shane before.
06:09Shane had a great look.
06:10And even if he wasn't a great singer, I was going to work with him.
06:15I would have been 17 years old.
06:22I worked for my dad as a car mechanic, working underneath cars.
06:26Fucking rain running down the back of your neck.
06:29Louis Walsh promised us the sun, moon, and stars from the beginning.
06:34He goes, lads, I'm going to make this happen, and you're going to be big pop stars around the world.
06:40And we went, okay, and believe them.
06:43They were so keen.
06:44They so wanted something different in their lives.
06:47They were doing nothing.
06:48And this was a chance of something great.
06:51Oh, can't you see it, baby?
06:56You've got me going crazy.
07:00I do remember Stephen Gately.
07:03Steele.
07:04Steele just had this charisma that was crazy.
07:07And he knew how to be a pop star.
07:10He had, he just had it.
07:11He had that thing.
07:13I was still at school, doing my final exams.
07:17But I love singing.
07:18And I go around all day, every day, singing, singing, singing, singing.
07:23I always knew that I wanted to be successful in the entertainment business, no matter what.
07:33All of us had to sing.
07:35And then they stopped playing the keyboards and they wanted to see us dancing.
07:39They put on various songs and called different names and we'd have to jump up and dance around the room.
07:51So, of course, what did I do was pull my clothes off.
07:55Rightly or wrongly, that's what I did.
07:57And I kind of danced and probably gyrated.
08:01I was 19 at the time.
08:04Dropped out of college.
08:05I was living in an apartment.
08:07It was more of a squat.
08:10I'm going to be brutally honest and say I definitely think, you know, I was put into the band because of how I looked at the time.
08:17I don't think I was taken on because of my voice.
08:20Well, they had to look good.
08:22It wasn't just all about the vocals.
08:25They had to look good.
08:26You had to get girls' attention.
08:28Show me your starlight.
08:29Roland.
08:30Gazing.
08:30Gazing.
08:31Gazing.
08:31Bitch.
08:32Bitch.
08:33Stephen.
08:33Gazing.
08:35Louis picked six.
08:37Stephen.
08:39Shane.
08:40Keith.
08:41Myself.
08:43And then two other lads.
08:44Richard and Mark.
08:46And that was boys' own.
08:48We were all young, 16, 17, 18-year-old boys.
08:54Nobody prepares a teenager for the world that they're about to live in.
08:59Nobody prepares them for the pressure cooker that they're about to kind of jump into.
09:04Okay, well, who is who now?
09:05You identify yourself.
09:06I'm Ronan Keating.
09:07Ronan Keating.
09:07Where are you from?
09:08I'm from Sods.
09:09From Sods.
09:09Okay, and who are you?
09:10I'm Mark Walton.
09:11Mark Walton from?
09:12Rohini.
09:12Rohini.
09:13Keith Duffy.
09:14Rohini.
09:14Rohini.
09:15Shane Lynch.
09:16Rohini.
09:16Richard Rock.
09:17Rob Mines.
09:17Stephen Gately.
09:18Seventh place.
09:19The next day, we get a call to say we're going on The Late Late Show tonight, which in
09:25Ireland is the biggest, it's the biggest TV show in the country.
09:29I was told you don't play any instruments at all.
09:32None of you.
09:32There's a lot of liars.
09:33I was also told that you don't sing at all.
09:36None of you.
09:37And Louis Walfe said, you're going to perform on The Late Late Show live.
09:41And we said, perform what?
09:43We haven't learned anything.
09:44We don't know each other that well.
09:46You know, perform what?
09:47Doesn't matter.
09:48We'll make it up.
09:49We just need to get you on TV.
09:50We need to get you in the papers and we need to get you on TV.
09:53So we didn't sing anything.
09:54We just danced to a piece of music.
09:56And it was, yeah, it was pretty, it was a moment.
10:00All right.
10:00Okay.
10:01Cue the music.
10:02Let's hear it.
10:02Oh God, it hurts now today.
10:2430 years later, it still hurts.
10:25Well, we were loving it.
10:32We didn't care.
10:33We didn't give a shit.
10:35We loved it.
10:35I don't think there's any love-hate relationship with that video whatsoever.
10:44I fucking hate it.
10:45I hate it so much.
10:48But how I felt at the time was great because I'm on the telly doing a little dance.
10:54I'm in a band.
10:55I'm in a band.
10:56I'm in a band.
10:58Knowing the journey had begun.
11:02After the late late, we thought we were pop stars.
11:04After some photo shoots we did, Louis Walsh wasn't happy, visually wasn't happy with how we were looking.
11:13And those other two guys, Mark Walton and Richard Rock, he just decided that they didn't fit in the group.
11:22He decided that they didn't gel.
11:25And the two of them were out.
11:26I thought, holy shit.
11:29Like, if Louis could get rid of two members of the band, he'd get rid of any one of us at any moment.
11:32So you've got to work harder, ten times harder than anybody else to keep your position in the band.
11:40I had to let them know that they could all be replaced at any time.
11:45I had to make sure they were hungry and they were ambitious and they didn't take anything for granted.
11:52I was like that from day one.
11:56They were all insecure because they didn't know whether they were going to make it or not.
12:02They just had ambition.
12:04That was the one thing they all had.
12:06They all had great dreams and great ambitions, as did I.
12:12I knew five was the perfect number.
12:15If somebody leaves, you still have four left and you're okay.
12:19So five was the perfect number.
12:21And we got Michael Graham in.
12:22Well, Mick joined the band.
12:27He came in.
12:28The other two have left.
12:29And this is the guy.
12:30He's number five.
12:32He was very talented.
12:34Very openly talented.
12:36He could write songs and he could sing and he could play and he could do all of that.
12:42So he was an immediate talent, yes, for sure.
12:45He had a really cool look, you know.
12:47I just thought, oh, he's cool, man.
12:48And Mick always had a guitar on his back and a foil full of songs under his arm.
12:53And that was kind of his thing.
12:54I've not spoke to Mick for four years.
13:02I think there's an element of industry that damaged him.
13:09If I'm being honest, I think Mikey was a little bit lost in a boy band.
13:15Mikey himself is quite the recluse.
13:18I just want to give my own honest account of my experience in the band.
13:40And that is very, very different from the other guys.
13:48From the other guys.
13:59In the very early days, everything was brand new to us.
14:04And we had our whole future ahead of us.
14:06And nobody had yet been tainted by any of the negative aspects of fame.
14:18We spent 1994 traveling around Ireland in a white transit van, top to bottom, north, south, east, west.
14:28We traveled everywhere.
14:31We had some crack.
14:33We had some crack in the back of that transit van.
14:35It was a perfect fit.
14:36It just felt like I had a family around me.
14:39The boys were family.
14:41It was great.
14:54We were traveling around Ireland and playing venues that weren't venues.
14:57You know, tables that were taped together in a nightclub.
15:00We mimed two backing tracks.
15:08We only had two live microphones.
15:10And what we would do is we had three dummy microphones.
15:13We choreographed movements so that we could turn and our backs would be to the audience.
15:17And we could swap mics so that everybody got a chance to talk live between songs and do their link.
15:22The girls all loved us.
15:28The girls rushed up to the front.
15:30But guys hated us.
15:31They'd throw ice cubes at us and throw coins at us.
15:34And they'd boo us.
15:37There was loads of points where I thought, oh, I'm wasting my time.
15:40This is not going to make any money or not going to be successful for anybody.
15:45And I had a lot of sleepless nights.
15:47But I knew they had something.
15:52And I thought, let's make the record to get them noticed, get them attention.
15:57And we borrowed the money.
16:00It was 10,000 quid.
16:02And we recorded the song.
16:04I get a call from Louis saying that myself, Stephen and Ronan were being sent over to record the first boys' own song.
16:17The three of us were sent over to London.
16:20They obviously kind of knew from the auditions that Duda lads had stronger singing voices than Shane and I.
16:28And for that reason, there was no need for the additional expense of two more flights and two more hotel rooms and whatever.
16:34We just felt absolutely robbed.
16:36We felt, that's not fair.
16:38There wasn't a lot of money for flights.
16:40I just brought the best singers with me.
16:42Our parents paid for the flights for Shane and I to join, the other three lads.
16:47My parents certainly didn't have a lot of money.
16:49So they would have had to scrimp and scrape to get the money together for my flight.
16:52But they did.
16:53Right, lads.
16:54Let me explain what's going to happen.
16:56All of you, one at a time, are going to start out listening to what's on tape and copying it.
17:01I've done this for a few years.
17:02I know what I'm talking about.
17:02We went to meet this guy called Ian Levine, who was the big pop producer at the time.
17:08He produced Bad Boys, Inc. and Early Take That.
17:11So this was a big deal for Boyzone to get in the room.
17:14And we recorded the Detroit Spinner song, Work On My Way Back To You.
17:19One by one, he put us in studio to record the lead vocal on the track.
17:28And we were testing vocals.
17:31And Stephen sang and Mikey sang.
17:33And then Ian Levine says to Louis, get rid of the blonde one.
17:36He can't sing.
17:39And I guess I didn't cut the mustard.
17:41I wasn't good enough.
17:42Mikey and Stephen were immediately good enough.
17:45You know, I found it very hard.
17:53I was 16 years of age.
17:56That could have broken me.
17:57That was a very, very tough thing to go through, to be told, get rid of the blonde one, he can't sing.
18:04So we recorded the song, myself, Stephen, doing the lead vocals.
18:10It felt good.
18:11It felt positive.
18:13I get into the band because I love to do music, to write music.
18:18So I felt that the future seems kind of brighter if it means that I can progress as a singer in this band onto bigger and better things.
18:32There are a bunch of lads from North Dublin who are being promoted as Ireland's answer to take that.
18:44Would you please welcome Boyzone.
18:46Working my way back to you was only for Irish release.
18:55And I don't think we had an official record deal at that time.
18:58I think we had a one song deal in Ireland.
19:00We did all the work over here, all the television work, radio work, everything.
19:13Everything non-stop.
19:14I'll be working my way back to you, babe, with a burning love inside.
19:22Working my way back to you.
19:24Went to number three, I believe, in the charts in Ireland.
19:27So we got quite successful in Ireland with a number three hit.
19:29That signaled to the UK that Ireland had a band that were worth checking out.
19:38Polydor Records, they came over to Ireland and they offered us a global deal.
19:43So this was our big break.
19:47This was our really big break.
19:49It was a big moment for the band.
19:51The record company said, send your best singers.
19:55Let's make the best record.
19:56Name, age and where you're from.
19:58Okay, my name is Mikey Graham.
20:00I had to pick who I wanted to be at the lead singers.
20:03Michael.
20:04There was part of me that made me believe that I maybe wasn't as good as I thought I was.
20:10And that maybe I didn't have a position in the band or a place in the band.
20:14And I'm Ronan Keating from Swords.
20:16I'm 17.
20:18Ronan, he was passionate.
20:20He was driven.
20:22Was he competitive?
20:24Yes, hugely competitive.
20:26He would do whatever he needed to do to win, to get what he wanted.
20:32I was a sprinter, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, and I won the Irish title.
20:38I took a bit of that with me when I went into the band.
20:41I was trying to impress Louis, because he was the manager.
20:45He had already gotten rid of two members in the band.
20:48I had to impress Louis.
20:51So I was attentive.
20:52I was professional.
20:54Tried to always make myself look like a pop star.
20:56Ronan was always trying to prove himself as a singer, as an artist, as an all-rounder.
21:03He always wanted to be the front man in the band.
21:06And good for him.
21:07That's what made him into Ronan.
21:09He had ambition.
21:11I don't think people realise how much work it is.
21:13It's non-stop all the time.
21:14It's dead easy.
21:15Don't worry.
21:16We have a great time.
21:16Look at this guy here.
21:19Say hello to the counter.
21:20This is Louis Walsh.
21:21Yes.
21:21The famous Louis Walsh that you hear so much about.
21:24I decided Ronan and Stephen were the lead singers.
21:29I knew Stephen and Ronan had something special.
21:32And I knew girls liked them.
21:34And I knew they wanted it so badly.
21:38I couldn't take a chance.
21:40I had to make the best record with the best singers.
21:42That was it.
21:44There was no favouritism as such.
21:47Stephen Gatley.
21:48Without any word to anybody,
21:51Ronan was taking the lead role.
21:56I was upset about it at the time.
22:00I tried to convey that.
22:02But it fell upon dead ears.
22:05Listen, they all wanted to be lead singer.
22:07Ronan and Stephen were.
22:08And that was it.
22:09End of story.
22:13Stephen and I went in, did the vocals
22:15on that first big single in the UK.
22:18Couldn't wait for my mum to hear it.
22:21That's what I was most excited about.
22:24Oh, wow.
22:25I made that.
22:26You know, that kind of feeling that I made that.
22:28It's mad.
22:34Britain's number two is that old Osmunds classic,
22:36Love Me For A Reason.
22:37They're here.
22:38They're live on stage with their biggest fan,
22:39Boyzone.
22:41And then Love Me For A Reason goes number two in the charts at Christmas time.
23:01I never had to look back after that,
23:03because once that single was a hit,
23:05I was seen as a singer in the band.
23:07And I established myself as a singer.
23:10Boyzone was never going to change after that,
23:12and I think we all felt that.
23:13We all knew we were,
23:14we had a place in the band.
23:16Don't love me for fun, girl.
23:19That was the beginning of a hard struggle for me through the years.
23:32My confidence that I had beforehand about music
23:39fell through the floor.
23:46And it was a bit heartbreaking, I'll be honest with you,
23:49when you see an audience full of posters,
23:53you know, for Steve and Roland and Shane and Keith,
23:57and then you might see the odd one, but Mikey, you know?
24:00Remember, I was 21.
24:03As a kid, that was tough.
24:06And Louis went from one day speaking with me
24:10to never speaking to me for seven years.
24:14And I never knew why.
24:16I had absolutely no idea why.
24:19I just thought he didn't like me.
24:21I probably ignored him a little bit, not realising,
24:26but it's because the others were so full on.
24:28I thought he was happy being Michael
24:30and being the quiet one at the back.
24:33I was kind of struggling with wanting to contribute more musically,
24:46so the record company sent me away on my own.
24:50I was working in this other studio
24:53and really hoping that what I came up with would be considered.
24:57considered, brought my stuff back to the record company
25:02and they already had the album done in London
25:04and I wasn't on the album at all.
25:08Don't even think of singing it.
25:10That hurt.
25:11That hurt.
25:12And that loss of ambition, high-spiritedness, vitality.
25:24When that left me, a lot of things left me.
25:27My interest in my own appearance.
25:30And I didn't drink until I turned about 24-ish
25:37and I was introduced to Jack Daniels and Coca-Cola
25:41and that became the thing that kind of got me through
25:44the next few years of the sadness and the disenchantment.
25:49The truth is, I don't know how bad it got because I didn't talk to him.
26:10The truth is, I didn't recognize any of his struggles.
26:15I know Mick suffered from sleep.
26:17He was an insomniac and I think part of that was pressure,
26:22part of that was mental struggle, part of that was, you know, frustration.
26:26But I don't know how bad it was because we didn't talk.
26:33I also had a young daughter,
26:36so I had that responsibility financially
26:39to make sure that she and her mother were taken care of.
26:42But to be honest,
26:43if it wasn't for the responsibilities I had in life,
26:50like my daughter, you know,
26:52I would have walked.
26:53And I nearly did a couple of times
26:54until I kind of calmed down
26:57and realized the financial impact it would have on my family.
27:02So I stayed around.
27:04I think there was still a lot of issues
27:13and maybe I'm to blame for that.
27:16Maybe I should have paid more attention
27:18and maybe reached out to people that I felt were struggling.
27:22But I was very hungry and I wanted to be great
27:26and I wanted to have my opportunities
27:27and it created resentment.
27:31And if there's a resentment,
27:33all sorts of demons can appear.
27:38All sorts of demons can appear.
27:39Hi, welcome back.
27:46The boys are here, boys from Dublin.
27:47Hi, nice to see you.
27:48Have a quick name check left to right.
27:49I'm Shane.
27:50I'm Mikey.
27:51Keith.
27:52Ronan.
27:52And Steve.
27:52You're welcome.
27:54How long have you been together for?
27:55Just over a year now.
27:57After Love Me For A Reason,
27:58we got a big agent,
28:00got a big promoter in the UK.
28:02Everything changed for them.
28:03The star prize, right?
28:05It's these three boys' own hats.
28:07We were on all the UK TV shows.
28:09Pepsi chart show,
28:11Top of the Pops,
28:12going live.
28:13Boyzone was on everything.
28:14Hi, we're Boyzone.
28:16This is our new single,
28:17Key to My Life.
28:19You're the key to my life.
28:23Our first album was number one.
28:27We had made it at that point.
28:29That was just, wow.
28:31Us five lads from Dublin got this far.
28:35It went crazy for Boyzone.
28:38I'm fucked.
28:40Just travelling constantly.
28:42Airports.
28:43Airplanes.
28:44Vehicle.
28:45TV studio.
28:47Radio station.
28:48Hi, I'm Keith.
28:49And I'm Ronan.
28:50And we're from Boyzone.
28:51And you're watching Johnny's Hit Parade.
28:53Hi, I'm Keith.
28:54And I'm Ronan.
28:55So what if...
28:56You just do it on your own.
28:57So what if you grab Thailand?
28:58You're watching Smile TV.
29:00You're watching Channel V.
29:01Space Shower TV.
29:03MTV Japan.
29:04Pop 10.
29:05TVK Shuffle.
29:06You're watching Street.
29:08What?
29:08They would literally work you from early in the morning, like live radio show of five or six in the morning,
29:13to live TV show at 11 o'clock at night.
29:15You're just so tired.
29:21When you're finished working, you can't sleep.
29:24We're away.
29:25We're in a hotel in Germany.
29:26We go to the bar.
29:28You know, we get drunk.
29:29You go to bed.
29:30You wake up.
29:30You've got a hangover.
29:31And you do it all over again.
29:32Three, eight special guests in the studio are...
29:36Oizone.
29:36Yay!
29:37Louis never travelled with us.
29:39You know, the odd time, if it was something big, if you're playing Wembley, but on the
29:43day-to-day, slogging away, Louis hated to travel.
29:47Oh, I'm in Dublin.
29:48I hardly, I didn't want to go with them.
29:51Oh, God, no.
29:52I don't think they knew what I actually did.
29:56I don't think they knew the work that actually I did behind the scenes at all.
30:00They've no idea.
30:01I think they just thought I made phone calls and it all happened.
30:04But it wasn't just like that, really.
30:11I don't think Boyzone probably realised how instrumental he was to their success.
30:18There was Take That, who were cleaning up, and then there was Boyzone, who needed to do
30:24something fast to get people's attention next to this massive boy band.
30:29And Louis knew exactly what to do and exactly how to do it.
30:33And that was through the Tabloid Press.
30:37I was working as the Irish Mirror showbiz editor.
30:40My job, essentially, was to go and get the biggest stories about the biggest stars.
30:46Every day, you're challenged with beating every other newspaper.
30:49And there were no rules.
30:51There were no rules.
30:52The only rule was you had to win.
30:54So for me, it was made very clear when I got into the Mirror that the Sun were beating us.
31:04This is one of the first conversations I had with my boss.
31:06The Sun are beating us every day on Boyzone.
31:09I didn't give a fuck a year ago, he said, because they were putting out a load of old tat around Ireland.
31:15Now London are getting obsessed with them.
31:18And I need you to become their best mate.
31:20I remember sitting down and being told to call this guy called Louis Walsh.
31:32So I rang him and surprisingly, he didn't just slam down the phone and say, put in an interview request like everybody else.
31:38He said, give me a call back in two days and I'll have a story for you.
31:42I always had a really good relationship with all the people in the press and the tabloids were very important.
31:49So, you know, I kept them on side.
31:51I gave them stories.
31:52I told them things.
31:54Louis Walsh to me is the master, and in 20 years of journalism, is the master puppeteer of the press.
32:02I mean, you can't underestimate how he rewrote the rule book about engagement with the press and why you should do that.
32:10He was access all areas.
32:14And he did play games.
32:16He was shrewd.
32:18He knew what the press needed.
32:21If there wasn't a story going around, Louis would get you one, and it didn't matter what you wrote as long as you wrote.
32:29I didn't realize how much we were in the tabloids.
32:32Like twice a week for five years we were written about.
32:36And we were out of the country so much that, you know, we'd speak to our mums or dads, and they'd say, oh, I just read this in the paper, is it true?
32:45And we're like, no, it's not true.
32:47Who said that?
32:48And you'd never know who said it.
32:50Oh, yeah, I mean, sometimes the boys would read stories in the papers about themselves that weren't true, and they'd say, who told them that?
33:01We, no, I did.
33:02I told them because I am promoting you.
33:05I make them up sometimes, but that's fine.
33:08He believed any story was a good story, any story.
33:15He would make up stories constantly about the band, about relationships with girlfriends that were non-existent, like plane crashes that were not true.
33:26I had them in a plane crash once in Australia, and I forgot to tell the families I made it up, but there was no plane crash.
33:34But it got a good story.
33:37Did you ever feel guilty about it?
33:38I never felt guilty about it.
33:40No way, I was promoting them.
33:42I was doing my job.
33:44I would do it all again, yeah, absolutely.
33:46I'd do even more now.
33:47The invasion of the tabloids was damaging.
33:57It scared us.
33:58I mean, it was hugely scary.
34:00What the media did to you, to us all, having no control, people making assumptions on who you are from what they read in the papers, the five of us were massively affected by that.
34:11We all had our fair share of stories in the paper that affect us in different ways.
34:18The one who really had it the most was Stephen Gately, I'd say.
34:26Grab a picture.
34:27It's mine.
34:28It's mine.
34:29It's mine.
34:29It's all right.
34:30It's mine.
34:30Deborah, Deborah, take a picture.
34:33At the time, Stephen Gately was very much a dream ticket for the tabloids.
34:40Because every girl in the country was madly in love with him.
34:45And Louis handed me a dream story, an almost inconceivably fantastical showbiz home run.
34:54He said, okay, I'm giving this only to you.
35:00Stephen Gately and Baby Spice are secretly dating.
35:03And Emily.
35:05This is the girl's one.
35:07Oh, she's the girl's one.
35:08Now, at this time, the Spice Girls are zig-a-zagaring around the world.
35:14I mean, people were obsessed with them on a global level.
35:19Say, boys are on a billion.
35:21Boys are on a what?
35:22Brilliant.
35:22Boys are on a brilliant.
35:24And Stephen Gately was single all the time.
35:26So, you don't take a step back to wonder if it could be true or if it's been exaggerated.
35:32You don't care.
35:33It's a home run.
35:34They said it, print, print, print.
35:37And it did.
35:38I mean, it went everywhere.
35:39Stephen, he was living the dream.
35:48But he had a big secret.
35:50He didn't want anyone to know about it.
35:52He was so scared.
35:54He was so scared that it was going to kill his career.
36:00So scared.
36:01He was so scared that it was going to kill his career.
36:03The 96th was a very, very special year.
36:28I was 20 years of age.
36:31We're playing Wembley.
36:31It doesn't feel real.
36:34You're still waiting for somebody to tell you you're an imposter.
36:36What are you doing?
36:37You shouldn't be doing this.
36:39It was an absolute honor to perform for the fans.
36:44There is nothing I can say to you that could describe the feeling of elation.
36:56We went from strength to strength that we didn't dip.
36:59We kept on building on what Boys' Own World was.
37:04It was huge.
37:06You could do no wrong.
37:08High chart positions, sellout tours, record-breaking ticket sales.
37:14It was so much fun.
37:15So great.
37:16My nickname is Homeboy because I'm always homesick.
37:19I was born on St. Patrick's Day and I used to be a dance teacher.
37:22Who am I?
37:23So girls, who is that homesick chappy?
37:25Steve from Boys' Own is here.
37:28They're around here.
37:29Stephen, he was actually, from day one, probably the most popular member of the band for girls.
37:36He was the heartthrob.
37:39Not Ronan.
37:40Stephen Galey was the heartthrob.
37:41You know, we were very close.
37:48We had a great bond from very young.
37:52Pretty early on, we had fans in the garden of our house.
37:57Like, you know, they'd be parked outside.
38:01They'd be sleeping there.
38:02My mother would be making them cups of tea.
38:04He probably wouldn't come back for days.
38:05And they'd be still sitting outside waiting for them, you know.
38:09Sorry, girls.
38:10I'm actually walking.
38:11You'll have to wait later on or something.
38:16Where's your camera?
38:17Where's your camera?
38:18Where's your camera?
38:20I love you.
38:21Here you go.
38:23He was the childhood sweetheart of millions of girls.
38:27They loved him.
38:28Steve, lots of kids tonight.
38:30Lots of kids.
38:33That's why we had to just...
38:35rush and rush, because if you stay there too long,
38:38you will not get out.
38:40And he had to negotiate his way through that.
38:42You could tell that it had taken a bit of a toll on him.
38:46And we didn't know why at that time.
38:49We didn't know why.
38:50I certainly didn't.
38:52Stephen, I think it was...
38:54He was probably about to go on a tour.
38:57And he just said,
38:59there's something I need to talk to you about.
39:01You know, I said, yeah, okay, you know.
39:03And I said, well, let's go for a coffee.
39:05He just said that, yeah, I'm gay.
39:09He hadn't said anything to anyone in my family.
39:13You know.
39:14You know, until he told me.
39:16I knew the minute I met him that he was on the bus,
39:25the same bus as me.
39:27And there was something about the shared experience.
39:32Pretty soon he gravitated towards me
39:34and started to tell me stuff.
39:37And I worried for him.
39:39There was a huge sense of vulnerability.
39:44And I knew where he was from in Dublin.
39:49So I knew it could never have been easy for him.
39:53Behind the Dublin Financial Centre,
39:55one of the capital's symbols of power, progress and wealth,
39:58hides Sheriff's Street,
39:59symbol of poverty, dilapidation and urban decay.
40:02We grew up in a place called Sheriff's Street.
40:07Tough, tough area growing up.
40:08Like, I had four brothers, me and the boys had one bedroom.
40:15Myself and Stephen shared a bed.
40:17He was down one end, I was up the other.
40:18You know, it was hard for people.
40:22Sheriff's Street was a very, very rough and humble place
40:27and quite unforgiving.
40:30And there would have been a dominance of criminality.
40:36To try and break out of that was going to be a big deal
40:39because just saying you were from Sheriff's Street
40:42would have been a black mark against you,
40:45going for a job, going for anything.
40:47I was just determined to be famous
40:50since I was around nine.
40:53There's no-one down my area that has made it.
40:55I'm going to be the first to be well-known throughout the world.
40:59He knew that this was his ticket out of the life that he had.
41:05No matter what day to the loss
41:10No matter what day to the loss
41:15No matter what day to the loss
41:20What we believe is true
41:24I was suspicious that he was gay from day one
41:27but I knew he didn't want anyone to know about it.
41:31Stephen knew that keeping shtum on his real nature
41:37was part of his ticket out.
41:41We knew Stephen was gay
41:43Stephen came to us, you know, early doors of the band
41:46and he said it to us
41:47We were there for him, you know, as big brothers
41:50and protect him and look after him
41:52He was obviously concerned about the reaction
41:55that the fans would have to him being gay
41:57I mean, you're talking 25 years ago
42:00It was a different world back then
42:02The Catholic Church had held a firm grip on Irish society
42:08Ireland was completely unwelcoming to gays
42:12Teachers, bank officials, anybody like that who was outed
42:17had to leave the country
42:19They were disgraced
42:20In 1993, homosexuality was decriminalised in Ireland
42:27But Stephen hadn't yet learned to accept
42:30that it was okay to be gay
42:32because nobody had
42:34It had literally just been decriminalised
42:36So, you know, the country was only catching up
42:40with the rest of the world
42:42and Stephen was caught in the crossfire
42:46Will you welcome, please, boys' own Stephen Gatling
42:49I think Stephen's biggest fear was rejection
42:57So what's all this stuff about Kerri-Ann?
42:59I don't know where it sprang from
43:00Do you know her?
43:01Yeah, I know her well, yeah
43:02She's a really nice girl
43:03You know, she's done well
43:05and we've known each other over the past few years
43:07But there's no romance there at all
43:08No, there's no romance there
43:09What about Mandy Smith?
43:10We had her on the show
43:10Mandy, bless her, yeah
43:12He was trying to straddle both worlds
43:15and keep everybody happy
43:16Do you think there's all this pressure coming on you
43:18because all the other lads, the forums are spoken for
43:20See, I get asked this all the time
43:22I mean, every interview we do
43:23with every magazine
43:24they always ask, you know
43:26You're the only one left, what's the story?
43:27I'm going to find the right person
43:28and when I settle down
43:29then, you know, I'll be happy
43:32and I'll let people know
43:32but at the moment I'm just
43:33His struggle was eating him alive
43:36From the moment Stephen got up in the morning
43:39until he went to bed at night
43:41He was overwhelmingly afraid
43:43that he was going to be exposed
43:46How do you cope with the success of the kind of media attention?
43:51It is quite difficult for me
43:53I do find it hard to cope at times
43:55and I just like to shut myself in my room
43:59I'm sensitive and I can get very upset easily
44:03But, you know, I had four great friends look after me
44:07Stephen was incredibly fragile
44:10He was a fragile person
44:12and it wouldn't take much to push him
44:15There was many a time when he would lock himself in a hotel room
44:19and we couldn't get him out
44:20He was always on his phone
44:22and you'd never know who he was on the phone to
44:23He was always stressed out
44:24He had a lot of anxiety going on in his life
44:27It was a lonely, lonely place
44:29He was scared of the press doing the story on
44:34He was so scared
44:35Louis did tell me that some of the papers were trying to out Stephen
44:42One of our team who had a serious contact in the sun
44:49had basically given us their daily summary of espionage
44:54and it was that the sun
44:57are running a front page
45:01world exclusive tomorrow
45:03that Stephen Gately is coming out
45:05We're in the dressing room
45:12in Coliseum in Hong Kong
45:14I wasn't sure that it's about the sun
45:21Somebody came to the sun
45:25was selling the story
45:27that Stephen was gay
45:30I wrote the story
45:32What we were about to do
45:36was going to change everything
45:37I wrote the story
45:54I wrote the story
45:55where the sun
45:58was going to be
46:00where it was going to be
46:02Transcription by CastingWords
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