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Toxic Season 1 Episode 4

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Transcript
00:00I was dispatched to a criminal mischief called the caller she was very worried because she had
00:14just moved into that apartment complex with the intent of trying to hide from her estranged husband
00:20she was worried obviously that he had found her she said to you before you left she said
00:26he's going to kill me before you people do anything yes 10 minutes later I was back there and Kate came
00:33out covered in blood and she collapsed immediately in front of the front door
00:37that particular case is the case that really put fear in my life Tom is very very intelligent
00:50they gave him a break because he had been in the military and look what happened I stood to lose
01:04three generations of my family in one night as I'm applying pressure to her gunshot wound she's looking
01:10up at me dead in the eyes and says I told you he was going to do this I will always remember that
01:17look in her eyes and her saying those words to me please please please sorry it's hard for me to talk
01:30about this when it comes to love betrayal is the death of a thousand dreams
01:37and the unraveling of countless lives you can spend years picking up the pieces examining them
01:48rearranging them digging through the past to make sense of it all navigating through my personal
01:57heartbreak took me back to my roots as an investigative journalist hi i'm elizabeth chambers
02:01it ignited a curiosity inside of me about love the fracture oh my god inflicts lasting trauma
02:12hi i wanted to see if they could ask you some questions absolutely not and can lead to tragedy
02:17and that's when my world ended i feel that it's part of my calling to meet with the victims
02:22the survivors to listen to their stories show how it can happen to anyone and expose the truth
02:29i'm elizabeth chambers and this is toxic
02:36the past few years i have been fixated on the idea of generational behavior how does trauma and
02:48abuse pass down through generations how much is nurture how much is nature how do we break the cycle
02:56can we break the cycle these questions led me to a book called killing kate written by survivor
03:02kate ranta whose personal experience with generational trauma sent a shockwave through her entire family
03:08i connected with kate and she agreed to share her story
03:13thank you so much for sitting down with us tell me a little bit about yourself
03:27so i grew up in linoka harbor new jersey so the jersey shore
03:31my parents were both educators i had an idyllic upbringing we ate dinner together as a family every
03:40night loving caring nurturing just beautiful parents as a child katie was bright and ebullient and
03:50sparkly i always thought of her as dancing to the tune of a different drummer you know she was her
03:57own person you know from the get-go i was not the little girl who was into the disney princesses
04:05thinking about my perfect you know husband i didn't like dream of my fabulous wedding
04:12i met my first husband actually while i was in college we got married when i was 24
04:21and i i left i wanted a divorce by the time i was like 27
04:27i always say like i had no business getting married that young
04:32after leaving my first marriage i met my second husband it was like a whirlwind of passion it was
04:42it was that that feeling i think that i was kind of searching for
04:47unfortunately it just um it just kind of spiraled um after i had my my older son with him so we got
04:59divorced i just didn't have um like the strength and security and trust that i wanted in those
05:07relationships in the summer of 2007 i was a single mom my son henry was um three and a half
05:17it was kind of the beginning of online dating i saw tom's profile he was a captain in the air force and
05:26i never dated anybody in the military before what stood out for you about tom's profile he was
05:33extremely handsome blue eyes big warm smile i found him very very attractive
05:41our first date we had flowers and then the date went great so tom told kate that he came from a
05:49military family his dad had been a pilot and he also had served in the air force tom handled vendor
05:55contracts for the air force tom had never been deployed overseas but he let kate know that he'd be
06:00shipping off to iraq in just a couple months he told kate he had been married once before but that
06:05his wife had cheated on him so he had left her that's all he said about his ex-wife she was in
06:09the rear view and now he was looking ahead to kate he really asked a lot of questions on that first date
06:17about about myself we like made out it was you know it was like you know we definitely had like
06:24physical attraction too our relationship progressed very very quickly within three months he asked me to
06:31move in i think with tom i i felt like i had it all i finally had all of the things that i wanted
06:42having help with my son little things like picking him up from daycare just making life easier getting
06:52the oil changed in my car cooking dinner shopping sprees i don't want to sound shallow and that it was like
06:59a money thing only because that's not me after you know being a single mom and and kind of paycheck
07:04to paycheck and struggling and to have that feeling of being taken care of was something that i didn't
07:11think i was missing but in that moment it it felt really good in september of 2007 i was just at home it
07:21was in the evening my phone rang it was a man and he said tom he's been in a motorcycle accident and
07:31it's really bad he crashed um into like a car and flipped over and and you know was in really bad shape
07:39i remember calling my mom and like crying and flipping out and thinking in my head like i finally met
07:47the guy and now this happens i got there and he was all sort of bandaged up he had broken both wrists
07:59and had a lower leg fracture like the bone had come out
08:04it was it was a really bad accident it wasn't even a thought about taking off work and being there
08:12for him his family wasn't coming down to help i found that to be outrageous i hadn't met his family
08:21but his mother didn't make plans to come down and he was estranged from his father by the time i met him
08:29tom would brag about his his dad being a pilot in the air force but then on the other hand would
08:37say that he was a sociopath he said that his dad was upset with him for ending the marriage that he
08:46was in before he met me even though tom had been cheated on his father was like what did you do
08:53and blamed him and so he really didn't seem to have anybody that cared that much i knew if something
09:01like that happened to me then my parents and you know my family would be there in a heartbeat
09:06i definitely wanted to show him that i was there for him the way he was for me how did he react to you
09:14being there for him what he said to me was that he knew that i was a good girl i stayed by his side
09:21and that's when he knew that he wanted to marry me he asked me to go get the ring out of his closet
09:32and bring it back to the hospital and he proposed to me
09:35the engagement suddenly was on a fast track but it felt so good in that moment
09:45and that accident actually kept him from being deployed to iraq i was so happy so what are we
09:53waiting for
09:53right around new year's i found out that i was pregnant with william we decided to run off to
10:03vegas and get married just us i was so happy that day after our wedding very next morning we had gone
10:13out to brunch had a good time got back in the car we were heading back to our hotel and he said
10:22you know i went through the steps in my head about how i would kill my ex-wife
10:31it came out of nowhere nothing prompted this we weren't talking about exes
10:37there's literally no setup for the comment that he made
10:41so he says to you i went through the steps on how i'd kill my ex-wife
10:51what is going through your mind when he's saying this to you i said what he said yeah well my
10:58therapist told me that that's like a normal part of processing and not that i would really go through
11:05with it i know that sounds extremely disturbing i don't know how to explain it other than i didn't
11:13want to hear it i had found the guy i was excited i'm married and i'm pregnant and i'm starting this
11:20this new life
11:21he was great throughout the pregnancy very helpful doting on me put the crib together he went to the
11:31prenatal appointments with me all of them um he was there he really was
11:36kate told me that she and tom had a normal two years together it was healthy happy stable
11:43and they were just focused on raising their child tom was stationed at fort belvoir in virginia
11:50but after 25 years in the air force he was going to retire kate and tom bought a new home in florida
11:56because they wanted to be closer to kate's parents but kate's parents told me they were not exactly
12:00sold on their new son-in-law tom was was kind of standoffish and he he very quiet he always wanted
12:10to retire for the night early so he would say good night and he'd go upstairs and we would try to have
12:19a conversation the three of us but her cell phone was blowing up because he was constantly text
12:26messaging her while we're trying to have a conversation downstairs that's a big red flag
12:32when we moved to florida maintaining friendships and relationships while with tom was extremely difficult
12:42tom did not want me to have male friends on social media at all he really dug in his heels about it
12:51saying that social media would open the door for infidelity i worked my way around it saying okay
13:02i'll only have my family and female friends he said that if a man did friend request me he wanted to know
13:11about it telling your partner they can't be on social media because it is quote unquote a door to
13:18infidelity is extreme control there was no precedent for this to happen like she hadn't had an affair with
13:25someone she had met on social media it's his way of ensuring that she's not engaging with other people
13:30and it's his way of ensuring that he has control she can only pay attention to one thing at a time and
13:36it has to be him these examples of control and isolation are across the board it never just stops
13:42with one thing tom would tell me exactly how i should look he wanted it was like long blonde hair
13:51don't dress too provocatively that sort of stuff when did things with tom really start to escalate it was
13:59right around new year's at this point everything started to spiral there was substance abuse with
14:07pain pills that the military was giving to him like candy because of his motorcycle injuries and it was it
14:13began to be terrifying from complete control into chaos manic behavior and then
14:20one day i had been laughing about like a post on facebook and the comment was from like a guy i had gone to
14:31high school with well he decided that that was a massive issue and left the house and then proceeded to
14:43to blow my phone up incessantly texting me saying that he was at a strip club and he was so drunk and
14:55he was surrounded by all these hot women shortly after that he came home and walked into the master
15:03bedroom and closed the door locked it locked me out all of a sudden i heard like
15:14i ran out to the front stoop i called 9-1-1 and the garage door opened and out he comes holding
15:24william he got into the car in the driveway and put will on his lap my instinct was to jump in the car
15:31he peeled out of the driveway and sped down the street and i was just begging and begging like
15:39just give me the baby just just please give me the baby give me the baby he looked at me and i saw
15:47who he really was and he raised his fist and was like get out of this car right now
15:55or i'm going to punch you in your face so i just jumped out and he peeled around the corner and still
16:04had william so i come running down the street was sobbing hysterical and there he is out front with
16:14the cops and he had these military coins so in the military units will have their own coins and they
16:21trade them and collect them he was out there coining all the cops establishing himself as this you know
16:28military veteran saying he's been in a humvee explosion in iraq that caused his injuries which
16:35we know didn't happen because he had never deployed to iraq ever there was no humvee explosion his injuries
16:42came from that motorcycle accident the police allowed him to stay in the house and made me leave
16:52and go to my parents house i wanted nothing to do with tom i was like go ahead and live in it i'm done
17:02the very next day kate went with her dad to the courthouse to get a restraining order she also
17:07emailed tom's commanding officer to tell him what was going on and he was shocked since tom worked
17:12remotely his commanding officer had no idea that tom had moved off the base
17:17it turned out that tom had forged the moving orders and was officially a wall from the military
17:26that sparked an investigation by the office of special investigations so it's like the military's fbi
17:34tom immediately drove from florida back up to virginia because he knew he was in trouble
17:42i do think i actually at that point felt a sense of relief kate told me that tom was forced to move
17:50back to the base in virginia as the air force began investigating him the military detained him but he
17:56didn't stay long he went awol again while they were holding him they lost him
18:03katie got a call from someone in the military there saying that there was no indication of where
18:09he could be but he could be coming south how concerned were you about katie and will's safety
18:15not to mention your own during this time you were always like on the alert you know tense
18:22anticipating something then we went to a hotel for a couple of days we were told
18:29you know don't tell anyone where you are for our own protection until they could find him
18:34i was looking over my shoulder i was definitely living in fear wasn't sure what was coming next
18:41and it was very uneasy because it was so quiet
18:47i had a feeling that gut feeling that something was coming
18:59almost 48 hours after going awol kate received a call that tom had returned to the base
19:04they gave kate no details about where he had been only that it was safe for the family to return home
19:10and that was it the military wrapped up their investigation and their recommendation was that
19:15tom should be court-martialed but as kate explained to me that didn't happen at all even though the
19:22investigation unit found him guilty of fraud against the military the commanders were given the choice on
19:29what to do and so i got the call that they were going to retire him with his full pension so i cried
19:38and said he's dangerous and now he's angry because he knows that i reported him and you're letting him
19:45go you can't do this you can't do this and they said well we handled it administratively then
19:52the ties to the military were severed and he was out in the wild
19:55that summer was very difficult for me tom had gotten some job out in seattle and then
20:06within three months he stopped paying his portion of the bills
20:09so my car got repossessed my mortgage wasn't getting paid i was being crushed financially
20:17facing obviously another marriage that didn't work out
20:22i was vulnerable just not in a good place that's when he texted me and even though he wasn't supposed
20:32to because of the temporary restraining order he did and he said the incident that it was just a bad
20:38night he promised that he was clean he wasn't taking pain pills anymore things had just gotten a
20:45little out of control i wanted to believe him and little by little he was able to weasel his way back into
20:56my life um i um wanted to put my family back together i did not want to get divorced again life is difficult
21:11enough when you have a partner you have a child and then you have a job and then you remove the
21:16partner and you don't have child care you don't have support and you're doing it all on your own
21:24it's hard and you're struggling every day so i completely sympathize with her i i completely
21:29understand in a lot of ways tom could be the answer to all of her problems he promised that he
21:36was getting a six-figure job and i could you know be a stay-at-home mom and raise william all of that
21:43stuff sounded amazing i know the statistic is that it takes a woman like seven to nine times to leave
21:52her abuser this was my moment um i just wanted it to work out and i took him back we decided that he
22:03would move back to florida do you regret taking him back i 100 regret taking him back things did not
22:16feel good or right ever again
22:19here this says everything we need to know about why he is who he is with people like tom i'm always
22:36looking for the root of their behavior and in reading kate's book his relationship with his father
22:41really stood up to me kate says do my parents know tom very well not really no one knew him well
22:48he didn't say much about himself or his life or his childhood other than minor anecdotes about
22:53his father being pretty tough especially with his brothers he hit them he said that he cheated on his
22:58mom he never said anything about his dad being abusive towards his mom but i put money down on that
23:05his father just owned him called him a narcissist and said he was divisive manipulative and that he
23:10wasn't a good person unfortunately what we do know is that generational family trauma is very very real
23:19how are you a healthy loving husband and father when this is your father you know like that is that it
23:26starts here do you believe that tom's childhood attributed to the way he behaved tom's childhood a
23:34lot of it is what he told me tom would recollect stories of his father beating them in the basement just
23:43being really a tyrant i mean i have to think that the things that happened in his childhood you know affected
23:51who he became as as a man then look what he did to whip
23:55so it was three months into the reconciliation william he didn't feel good he couldn't sleep and
24:06maybe a couple hours later went into the room to to check on him like we know our children and something
24:12was wrong he was kind of like woozy and like reaching out like he was hallucinating and i i knew i knew
24:22he gave him something something was wrong i would call 9-1-1
24:29get into the hospital and the sheriff was standing by the nurses station he made eye contact with me
24:37and really subtly was like the like come here is everything okay at home and i said no everything's not
24:44okay and he said okay well when you get home a child protective services investigator
24:50we'll be meeting you there my name is shenitra sims formerly a child protective investigator for
24:57the broward sheriff's office child protective investigation section
25:02we got home and she met us at the door uh immediately separated us so had tom in one room
25:10of me and another and she said to me she wanted me to pack a bag for myself and a bag for william
25:19and go to my parents house you need to go over there for the safety of your child
25:24and make sure you stay at the house and if i find out that you're returned back home then i will
25:29definitely remove your child from your custody when you said this to kate and you gave her this ultimatum
25:35what was her response and how did she seem at the time i'll do whatever i need to protect my child
25:41that was a pivotal key moment in my story of getting away from him because she provided me that
25:49out that i needed the hospital ran tests on will and ultimately they couldn't conclude whether or not
25:56he had been drugged so cps closed the investigation and no charges were brought against tom
26:02it was incredibly frustrating and for the next year everything started to spiral you know he was
26:11terrorizing us he had broken into our home during this time tom's stalking escalated kate shared a
26:20laundry list of offenses with me for example knowing her financial struggles tom emailed the ceo and the
26:27vp of her company with the subject line rogue employee anonymously accusing her of drinking and
26:34sleeping on the job unbelievable constantly emailing me and texting me threatening to take custody of
26:41william the fact that after all of this kate still had to share custody of will with tom is unfathomable
26:51thinking about how she felt at this time makes me physically ill they didn't have a custodial
26:56agreement in place at this time so she had to give will to tom for hours sometimes days and never
27:03know when she was going to see her son again he would ignore kate's texts and calls because
27:08he knew that legally he didn't have to bring him back before we started this interview we were looking
27:13at pictures and you were the cutest little kid your mom and i have talked about i have a son who's
27:19who's seven and there's nothing like a boy and his mom like there is just it's such a special bond
27:24do you have any good memories of your dad anything that really exhibited care parental love i don't
27:30remember him like showing affection it was just like his general demeanor that you remember him just
27:37being feeling like overpowering he was sending creepy letters and cards addressed to me vandalized my car
27:45in my father's car the police came out no proof can't do anything about it this part infuriates me
27:55just when kate thought things couldn't get any worse tom kicks up a custody battle with a horrendous
28:01accusation at one point i had gotten a call at work from she just saying that a call had come in about
28:09child abuse allegations against me on william i immediately knew it was tom tom filed a report to
28:18cps against kate saying that he found bruises on will's leg implying that kate had been physically
28:24abusive to her son thankfully shanitras saw that report and knew that tom was lying so shanitras jumped
28:30into action and took it upon herself to meet with tom and to tell him that unless he met with a judge to
28:37discuss a custodial arrangement he would never see his son again by all means i will notify him that
28:43you could not see this kid again i'm not there to be anyone's friends it's about child safety
28:53i call her our guardian angel because she was the first person that actually saw tom for what and who
29:01he is she understood that he was dangerous she believed me after she just had the conversation
29:12with tom about how he wasn't allowed to see william until we had a custody agreement everything went really
29:19quiet i had a feeling that something was coming i knew that that was a first step in an authority figure
29:34telling him he couldn't do something he would view that as losing and he can't lose
29:39i was looking over my shoulder i was definitely living in fear wasn't sure what was coming next
29:50tom is still living in florida so i was taking steps to keep us safe so that october of 2012 i
30:01moved into a new apartment tell me about the night of the incident it was a friday
30:09we go out to my car i got to the passenger side front tire there was a slash i was like oh he found
30:19me called the police my dad showed up he stayed in the apartment with will i went outside to talk to
30:27it was a young female police officer i was dispatched to a criminal mischief call i asked if she knew
30:35possibly who may be involved or who would have did this if she's been having any issues with anyone
30:40that was when she started to tell me about her estranged husband i had no witnesses i had no leads
30:47so without those elements i was not able to investigate that any further did she show you a
30:53picture of him or describe his vehicle no and would that be something typically that you would ask for
30:59if there is somebody that she thinks is responsible for it no i mean if she had pointed out oh he's
31:06over there and his car is over there it would have been so easy and so clear-cut but we had no evidence
31:12of that and she told me she had never seen him in the complex before i could tell she was frustrated
31:18and i could understand where she was coming from as she was leaving i said to her he's going to have
31:25to kill us before you people do anything about him i went back into the house my dad was like i'm gonna go
31:37home he gets part way up the walkway and he turns back around i saw tom's car and he said katie call
31:47911 tom is here i just had a really bad feeling by the time we got in the door tom had made it to my
32:03door and like began pushing against it and we were both on the other side like pushing against it trying
32:10to keep him out and then all of a sudden it was like boom boom boom ma'am hello hello ma'am did you
32:22just say that he shot you yes okay they're coming they're coming to help you i backed up dad went
32:31one way will was standing there i remember seeing red like the entire time just chaos one of the bullets
32:38that went through the door actually hit me in the chest and so i was losing a lot of blood i remember
32:44looking at my hand and it just wilted it just you know it just wilted i had no use of it anymore
32:52he came in and raised the gun again and shot and the bullet went like directly through my right hand
33:00and i was screaming begging for my life and then i just heard boom and i heard my dad grunt and i
33:10thought he had killed i thought he had killed my father like like right then the gun had a laser light
33:18on it he was pointing it like this and like taunting me i just remember being like covered in blood my
33:26clothes were sticking to me and then he came over with the gun and then will all of a sudden yelled
33:34don't do it daddy don't you mommy i don't remember how i did it or i just remember just saying it
33:41and yelling it that's really brave for a four-year-old to yell nothing to save his mom's life
33:45i remember hearing him walk around into the kitchen area at this point it had been 15 minutes at least
33:56no police came in it was about 10 minutes since i had left we had a barricaded subject with possible
34:05victims or hostages inside the protocols are to establish a perimeter and try and contain
34:11the suspect i was waiting i thought he was going to shoot me in the head and then it got quiet
34:19and then he said kate just go i got up and i i ran out i collapsed on the ground covered in blood
34:27i could see police cars and they said ma'am can you get over to us
34:39um you know the best thing we felt was for her if she can get up and come to us that way
34:48we're not sending officers into a rescue in front of a front door with a armed gunman still inside
34:56somebody helped me we're not going to do her any good if we get shot too and then we're all down in
35:02front of the front door please my fire's inside the floor tom was still inside with my dad with william
35:14right here this is where i collapsed right on that patch of grass right there and the police were where
35:21just all lined up right here you know with their vests and guns and i'm laying there on the ground
35:27saying i i can't i can't move i'm dying help me and they wouldn't come near me inside tom had his
35:35pistol dextra ammunition the knife the flashlight all lined up i remember seeing him just like behind
35:45the counter just seeming crazy i stood up and i gathered william and i just told him it's time for
35:53us to leave william he didn't say a thing i didn't say a thing and then we got outdoors kate was on
36:00the ground nearby the apartment door i love you i love you i love you i said you gotta get up but you
36:06have to have the strength and i'll help you they stood up and they were able to come by the cars that
36:11we were using for cover the young female officer that had walked away was over me saying i'm sorry
36:22i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry and i was like i told you when kate was looking you dead in the eyes
36:29saying that how did it make you feel horrific that is what is burned in my brain you know forever
36:36pretty much i will always remember that look in her eyes and her her saying those words to me
36:41do you have any regrets about how the calls were handled that night no i mean i think i've kind of
36:49already yeah explained how and why but it's i i know personally deep down that i handled the call
36:55appropriately i know that i did the investigation i could do i know that i offered whatever advice i could
37:01it seemed like kate was doing everything she could you know unfortunately we can't control
37:07what other people are going to do when kate was lying on the ground they realized that not only was
37:13she shot in the hand but she also had a very severe chest wound so kate was airlifted out and
37:21her dad was taken by ambulance to the hospital thank god will was physically unharmed during this incident
37:29shortly after the suspect actually came out and was taken into custody
37:37from the very first incident tom's mo was to play this affable veteran and to
37:42lean on a deployment that never happened all with the intent of evading justice
37:46after the shooting my dad and i met with our prosecutor uh she was a straight shooter and
38:04she told us that the story that tom wove was that he was depressed and like having some ptsd symptoms
38:12from you know his iraq yeah his non-deployment um and that he had gone to the va that day and then
38:21prescribed new medications after his arrest tom was denied bail and remained in custody
38:27the trial began on february 6 2017 four and a half years after the attack even after being caught with a
38:35literal smoking gun tom still leaned on this insane defense tom decided to plead not guilty the defense
38:44said it was involuntary intoxication basically it was like adverse reaction and that made him want to
38:52come murder us and we were warned from the start that no trial is a slam dunk because we have such a
39:00love affair respect for our military he's always played that card and it's always gotten him out of
39:05jail free we did have kind of side fears going into trial for that reason the jury took only two days
39:15to reach a verdict you know it felt like an eternity for us once they went into deliberations they came back
39:21and they found him guilty the judge sentenced him to 60 years no parole that's a life sentence and he's
39:31he's never getting out what do you think drives tom's abuse and manipulative ways i don't have a degree
39:39in psychology but in trying to put the pieces together about who i married and who this person
39:46really is and what's wrong with him i mean i believe he's a full-blown psychopath
39:54you mentioned earlier your dad's dad was abusive i'm sure that was learned behavior from his father and
40:00biologically you're a project of your father does that ever make you concerned or hyper aware of certain
40:08tendencies that he had for yourself there definitely is like a worry you know just like what if
40:14but i like to think that i grew past all of what you know he might have put it to me i like to think
40:21that i'm nothing like him will isn't this it's not a gift out of all of this but you know watching him
40:31become a young man i'm so proud of him he really is just coming into his own he's not tom he's not a
40:38product of his dad he's not a product in any way shape or form we survived as a family being surrounded
40:46by love and support and that's all william knows i know that i lived through this because there's a
40:53purpose and that's why i started publicly sharing this journey i mean the fact that
41:01we're all here to tell this is a miracle amazing
41:11anthony is leaving a string of victims in his wake and he's doing it in the sickest way possible
41:16it was beyond psychological manipulation later on grotesquely it was sexual this is not him
41:22starting his life over and finding us happily ever after anthony hi that's okay who you're talking to i
41:27no i have no comment do you have any from 10 years ago