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Gateway to Relax
  • 2 days ago
Transcript
00:00:00Don't drop them. Though at least if we are not channeling, we are not stressed about manifesting a signal before the magic kills us.
00:00:05The relic in the center of my back angles, and I can't help but wonder if Androna's gift has triggered the clock for me.
00:00:10Oh, I thought we were discussing how I just owned the physics test.
00:00:14He grins, definitely the highest score in the class.
00:00:17Rhiannon rolls her eyes. Please, I scored 5 points higher than you.
00:00:20We stopped counting your grades months ago.
00:00:22He leans forward slightly, your grades in that class make it unfair for the rest of us.
00:00:26He looks between our shoulders. Wait, what did you get, Mary?
00:00:30Not getting into the middle of this, Liam responds.
00:00:33I laugh as we break apart, entering the bottleneck of cadets to get into the
00:00:36briefing room.
00:00:39Sorry, Sorangale, someone says, stepping out of the way and tugging their friend with them as we enter the tiered classroom.
00:00:44Nothing to be sorry about. I call out, but they already headed up a few rows.
00:00:49I'm never going to get used to that.
00:00:50It definitely makes getting places easier, Rhiannon teases as we descend the steps to curve along the massive turret.
00:00:56They show the appropriate level of difference.
00:00:5810 grumbles.
00:00:59To what they think I'll be, not who I am.
00:01:01We find our row and walk to our seats.
00:01:02Sitting is a sport among the first tiers.
00:01:05That shows excellent forethought.
00:01:07The room buzzes with energy as riders file in, and I can't help but notice that no one has to stand anymore.
00:01:11Our numbers have decreased exponentially in the last four months.
00:01:14The number of empty chairs is sobering.
00:01:16We lost another first tier yesterday when he got too close to another rider's red scorpion tail on the fly field.
00:01:21One second he was standing there, and the next tier was a scorched patch of earth.
00:01:24I kept as close to 10 as possible the rest of the session.
00:01:27My staff freckles, but I fight the urge to turn around.
00:01:31Rhiannon just got here.
00:01:32Liam says from the seat to my right, breaking from the little dragon figurine he's carving and looking up the rows toward the third years.
00:01:38Figured, I hold up my middle finger and keep my eyes forward.
00:01:41Not that I don't like Liam, but I am still pissed at Zayden for signing him.
00:01:44Liam snorts and grins, flashing his dimple.
00:01:46And now he's glaring.
00:01:47Tell me, is it fun pissing off the most powerful rider in the quadrant?
00:01:51You could try it yourself and find out.
00:01:53I suggest, opening my notebook to the next empty page.
00:01:55I can't turn around.
00:01:57I won't.
00:01:57Wanting Zayden is fine.
00:01:58It has to be.
00:01:59Undulging the impulses it gives me.
00:02:01That's asinine.
00:02:02That's going to be a no from me.
00:02:04I lose the battle with my self-control and look over my shoulder.
00:02:07Sure enough, Zayden is seated in the top row next to Galak, mastering the art of looking board.
00:02:12He gives Liam a nod, which Liam returns.
00:02:14I roll my eyes and face forward again.
00:02:17Liam concentrates on his carving, which looks a lot like his red daggy tail, Zay.
00:02:21I swear, you'd think there were assassination attempts on me during every class with the
00:02:25way he makes a shadow me.
00:02:26I shake my head.
00:02:27In his defense, people are fond of trying to kill you.
00:02:30Rhiannon sets out her supplies.
00:02:32One time, it's happened one time, Lee.
00:02:34I adjust my posture to keep my weight off my bruised ribs.
00:02:37They're apt to I, but leaning against the back of my seat isn't an option.
00:02:41Right, and what would you call that whole thing with Rhiannon?
00:02:44Rhiannon asks.
00:02:45Tresheen, I shrug.
00:02:47And Balo's constant threats, she arches abroad me.
00:02:50She has a point there, Zayden chimes in, leaning forward from the seat next to Rhiannon's.
00:02:54They're just threats.
00:02:55The only time I've actually been targeted was at night, and it's not like he am here
00:02:59sleeping in my bedroom.
00:03:01I mean, I'm not opposed, he begins, his knife hovering over the piece of wood.
00:03:05Don't even start.
00:03:06I whip my head to face him and can't help but laugh.
00:03:09You are a shameless flirt.
00:03:11Thank you, he wins and goes back to cowling.
00:03:13It wasn't a compliment.
00:03:15Don't mind her, she's just sexually frustrated.
00:03:17Makes a girl crabby.
00:03:19Rhiannon writes the date down on her empty page and I follow suit, dipping Michael into my
00:03:22portable ink pod.
00:03:23Though ZZ, mess I spend some of the.
00:03:26Others don't already use it, just another reason I can't wait to channel.
00:03:30No more quills, no more imports.
00:03:32That has nothing to do with it.
00:03:34Gods, would she have said that a little louder?
00:03:36And yet I don't hear you denying it.
00:03:38She smiles sweetly at me.
00:03:39I'm sorry I don't make the cut, Liam teases.
00:03:41But I'm sure Jason would be fine with my reviewing a couple candidates, especially if it means
00:03:45you'll stop flitting him off in front of his entire wing.
00:03:48And how exactly would you be reviewing candidates?
00:03:50What will you be scoring?
00:03:52Rhiannon asks.
00:03:52One eyebrow raised above her wide grin.
00:03:54This I have to hear.
00:03:56I manage a straight face for all of two seconds before laughing at how horrified he suddenly
00:03:59looks.
00:04:00Thanks for the offer, though.
00:04:01I'll make sure to run any potential liaisons by you.
00:04:04I mean, you could watch.
00:04:06Rhiannon continues, blinking innocently at him.
00:04:08Just to be sure she's fully covered.
00:04:10You know, so no one sticks it to her.
00:04:12Oh, are we telling big jokes now?
00:04:14The dog asks from Liam's side.
00:04:16Because my entire life has aired up to this very moment.
00:04:19Even Sawyer laughs.
00:04:21Fuck me.
00:04:21Liam matters under his breath.
00:04:22I'm just saying that since you're protected at night now, we laugh harder, and he blows
00:04:26out a deep breath.
00:04:27Wait.
00:04:27I stop laughing.
00:04:29What do you mean I'm protected at night?
00:04:30Because you're next door.
00:04:32My smile vanishes.
00:04:33Please tell me he's not making you sleep in the hallway or something obnoxious.
00:04:36No.
00:04:37Of course not.
00:04:38He warded your door the morning after the attack.
00:04:40His expression clearly says I should know this.
00:04:42I'm guessing he didn't tell you.
00:04:44He ward.
00:04:45He warded your door.
00:04:46Liam says.
00:04:47What at this time?
00:04:48So only you can open it.
00:04:49Shit.
00:04:50I don't know how to feel about that.
00:04:52It's more than slightly controlling, and way out of line, but also, sweet.
00:04:55But if he's the one who warded it, then he can get in, too, right?
00:04:59Well, yeah, Liam shrugs his professors Markham and Davira walk downstairs, heading to the
00:05:03front of the room.
00:05:04But it's not like Ryerson is going to kill you.
00:05:06Right, you see, I'm still adjusting to that little change of heart.
00:05:10I fumble my quill and it falls to the ground, but before I can lean over, the shadows beneath
00:05:14the arm of my desk lift the instrument like an offering.
00:05:16I pluck it out of the shadows and look back at Satan.
00:05:18He's locked in conversation with Garak, not paying me a speck of attention.
00:05:23Except, apparently, he is.
00:05:25If we can get started.
00:05:26Markham calls over the room, and we fall silent as he places the scroll Liam and I have delivered
00:05:30to him before breakfast on the podium.
00:05:32Excellent.
00:05:33I write Somerton down at the top of the page and Liam trades his knife for a quill.
00:05:37First announcement, Davira says, stepping forward.
00:05:40We've decided that not only will the winners of this air squad battle receive bragging rights,
00:05:43she grins like we are in for a treat.
00:05:45But they'll also be given a trip to the front lines to shadow an active wing.
00:05:49Tears break out all around us.
00:05:51So if we win, we get a chance to die sooner.
00:05:54Rhiannon mispers.
00:05:55Maybe they're trying a reverse psychology thing.
00:05:57I glance at the others around us who are clearly overjoyed and worry about their sanity.
00:06:00Then again, most everyone in this room can stay on their dragon.
00:06:04So can you.
00:06:05Don't you have better things to do with the day than listen in on my self-loathing?
00:06:09Not particularly.
00:06:10Now pay attention.
00:06:11Stop butting in and maybe I can.
00:06:13I counter.
00:06:14Ten shots.
00:06:15One day I might be able to translate that sound, but it's not today.
00:06:18I know the squad battle doesn't do and send his thing, Davira continues, but I figured
00:06:22that news would give you all the proper motivation to apply yourselves in every area leading up
00:06:25to the challenges.
00:06:26Another cheer resounds.
00:06:28And now that we have your attention.
00:06:30Matham lifts his hand and the room quiets.
00:06:32The front lines are relatively quiet today, so we are going to take this opportunity to dissect
00:06:35the battle of Jienfer.
00:06:37Michael hovers above my notebook.
00:06:38Surely he didn't say that.
00:06:40The mage lights rise to the cliffs of Drillard that separate Dvinder, lifting the entire province
00:06:43thousands of feet above the rest of the continent, before shining brightest on the ancient stronghold
00:06:47along the southern border.
00:06:48This battle was pivotal to the unification of Navarre, and though it happened more than
00:06:51six centuries ago, there are important lessons that still impact our flight formations
00:06:55to this day.
00:06:56Is he serious?
00:06:57I whisper to Liam.
00:06:58Yeah, Liam's grip bends his quill.
00:07:00I think he is.
00:07:01What made this battle unique?
00:07:03Davira asks, her eyebrows raised.
00:07:05Brian.
00:07:06The stronghold was not only set for a siege, the second year says from high above us,
00:07:10but was equipped with the first crossbowl, which proved lethal against Ragonkine.
00:07:14Yes, and Davira prompts.
00:07:17It was one of the final battles where Griffins and Dragons actually worked alongside each other
00:07:20to annihilate the army of the Barons, they.
00:07:23Second year continues.
00:07:25I glance left and right, watching the other riders begin to take notes.
00:07:28Surreal, this is just surreal.
00:07:30Even Rhiannon is writing intensely.
00:07:31None of them knows what we do, that an entire village of Navarreans was ransacked last night
00:07:36along the border and supplies looted.
00:07:37And yet, we are discussing a battle that happened before the convenience of indoor thumping was
00:07:41invented.
00:07:41Now, pay close attention, Markham lectures, because in a detailed report in three days
00:07:46and drawing comparisons to battles from the last 20 years.
00:07:50Was the scroll mark classified?
00:07:51Liam asked under his breath.
00:07:53No, I respond just as quietly.
00:07:54The first rush of power is unmistakable.
00:07:57The first time it forms to you, surrounds you with a seemingly endless supply of energy,
00:08:01you'll be addicted to the high, to the possibilities of all you can do with it,
00:08:04to the control you hold in the palm of your hand.
00:08:06But here's the thing, that power can quickly turn and control you.
00:08:10Page 64, The Book of Brennan.
00:08:12Chapter 22.
00:08:14The rest of November passes without mention of what happened at Somerton, and by the time
00:08:17the howling winds bring snow in December, I've given up hoping the man will release the
00:08:21information.
00:08:22It's not like Liam or I can directly ask the professors without incriminating ourselves
00:08:25for reading what was obviously a classified report, even if it wasn't Mark.
00:08:29It makes me wonder what else doesn't make it to battle brief, but I keep it to myself.
00:08:33Between that and my growing frustration over my inability to channel, unlike three quarters
00:08:37of my year, I'm keeping a lot to myself these days.
00:08:40Not entirely, 10 grunts.
00:08:41No comments from you, not after you almost let me hit the side of a mountain today.
00:08:46My stomach turns just thinking about how far he let me fall.
00:08:49The first year from third wing wasn't as lucky.
00:08:51She lost her seat during a new maneuver and ended up on the death row this morning.
00:08:55Riannon swings her bo's staff, and I throw my weight into a backbend, narrowly escaping
00:08:59the strike.
00:09:00To my absolute surprise, I keep my balance on the training mat.
00:09:04Then stay on next time.
00:09:05Start channeling and maybe I'll be able to, I counter.
00:09:08You're distracted tonight.
00:09:09Riannon backs off as I regain my balance, showing me my see no opponent would during
00:09:13the challenge.
00:09:14Her gaze flicks across the mat to where Liam sits on a bench, carving yet another dragon,
00:09:18and returns to mine, giving me a look to say as she'll follow up later once I've been
00:09:21released from my constant shadow for the night.
00:09:23But you're faster than you used to be.
00:09:24Whatever Imogen has there doing is working.
00:09:27You're not ready to channel yet, silver one.
00:09:29As if there was ever any doubt, Imogen calls from the next mat over, where she casually
00:09:33holds her dog in a headlock, waiting for him to tap out.
00:09:36To my left, Sawyer and Quinn circle each other, preparing for yet another round, and behind
00:09:40Riannon, Emery and Heaton are doing their best to coach the other first tears we gained
00:09:43after threshing while Dane looks on, studiously avoiding anything that has to do with me.
00:09:47Per his recent orders, Tuesday nights are for squad hand-to-hand practice, because the
00:09:51full academic load we're carrying, coupled with flight lessons and now weaving instruction
00:09:55for some of us isn't leaving much time for the mat.
00:09:57A few of the father mats are taken up by other riders with the same idea, one of which includes
00:10:01Jack Bado.
00:10:02Hence why Liam refused when Redock asked to spar with him.
00:10:05You are taking it easy on me, I tell Riannon.
00:10:07Sweat ribs down my back, dampening the tight-fitted tunic I chose while my dragon scale wears fries
00:10:11on the bench next to Liam.
00:10:13It's not like he needs extra practice.
00:10:15He's already taken everyone but Dane down to the mat, and part of me thinks that's only
00:10:18because Dane refuses to be bested by a younger rider.
00:10:22We've been at this for an hour, Riannon swishes her staff through the air, you are tired, and
00:10:26the last thing I want is to hurt you.
00:10:28Challenges resume after solstice, I remind her, you're not doing me.
00:10:32Any favors by holding back.
00:10:34She's not wrong, a deep voice says from behind me.
00:10:37In my peripherals, I see Liam stand, and I met her a curse under my breath.
00:10:41Well aware, I say over my shoulder as Aiden passes by our mat, accompanied by Garrick as
00:10:44usual.
00:10:45It's impossible to rip my eyes away until he passes, though.
00:10:48Boards, I have it bad.
00:10:50Bo away unless you have something useful to say.
00:10:52Move faster, you'll be less likely to die.
00:10:54Ask that for useful, he calls back, taking up a position on a mat closer to the center
00:10:58of the sparring gym.
00:10:59Riannon's eyes flare, and Liam shakes his head.
00:11:02What?
00:11:02The way you talk to him, Riannon murmurs.
00:11:05What's he going to do?
00:11:06Kill me, I charge forward, swinging my staff's legs.
00:11:09She jumps over the attack and spins, bringing staff against mine with a crack.
00:11:14You're likely to kill each other, Liam chimes in, taking his seat again.
00:11:17Can't wait to see how you two function after graduation.
00:11:20After graduation?
00:11:22Haven't let myself think past this week, let alone all the way to graduation.
00:11:26Not when there are some very difficult questions I am not ready to ask.
00:11:28Look, I know you are, aggravated by how long it's taking time to channel, Riannon says,
00:11:33circling me on the mat again.
00:11:35I'm just saying on this mat with me is a way safer place to have to take out the anger
00:11:38than the giant, shadow-wielding Minglida.
00:11:41I don't want to take any of my anger out on you.
00:11:43You're my friend, I gesture loosely towards Aiden.
00:11:46He's the one who stuck me with a shadow I can't shake because he thinks I'm his weakness.
00:11:49But does he help me?
00:11:50I lash out with the staff, and she counters.
00:11:53No.
00:11:53Does he train me?
00:11:54Another.
00:11:55Lunch, another clash of our staffs.
00:11:57No.
00:11:58He's remarkably good at showing up when I am about to die and eliminating threats,
00:12:01but that's it.
00:12:02He sure as hell doesn't have a problem keeping his eyes off me the way I do him.
00:12:06So there's definitely some anger there.
00:12:08Riannon draws as she spins away easily.
00:12:10You would be furious if someone took your freedom away.
00:12:13If you had Liam at your door every morning until every night, even assuming he great as
00:12:16he is.
00:12:17I dodge one of her attacks.
00:12:19I appreciate that, Liam butts in, proving my point.
00:12:22Yeah, she agrees.
00:12:23I would, and I am pissed on your behalf.
00:12:25Now, let's put that anger to use.
00:12:27Riannon rains another series of moves down on me and I keep up, but only because she's
00:12:30doing exactly what I accused her of in taking it easy on me.
00:12:34Then I make the mistake of glancing over her shoulder, toward the center of the gym.
00:12:38Holy, fucking, hard.
00:12:39Zayden and Garak have stripped off their shirts and are sparring like their lives depend on
00:12:43it, a blur of kicks, pinches, and rippling muscle.
00:12:46I've never seen two people move that fast.
00:12:48It's a beautiful, hypnotizing dance with lethal choreography that makes me hold my breath
00:12:51whenever Garak bows in for the kill and Zayden deflects.
00:12:53I've seen countless writers spar without their shirts these past months.
00:12:57This is nothing new.
00:12:58I should be absolutely immune to the male form, but I've never seen him shirtless.
00:13:02Every edge of Zayden's body is honed like a weapon, all sharp lines and barely leashed
00:13:06power.
00:13:07His rebellion revict twists around his upper body and stands out against the deep bronze
00:13:10of his skin, accentuating every punch he throws, and his stomach, I mean, how many
00:13:14muscles are there in the abdominals.
00:13:15His are so rigidly defined that I could probably count every single one if the rest of him
00:13:19wasn't so damn distracting.
00:13:21And he has the largest dragon relic I've ever seen.
00:13:24Mine consumes the skin between shoulder blades, but as Gizmar takes up his entire back, and
00:13:29I know exactly how that body feels on top of mine, just how much power.
00:13:33My head stings, knocking me out of my trance, and I startle.
00:13:36Serves your eye, ten lectures.
00:13:38Pay attention, Rhiannon yells, drawing back her stuff.
00:13:41I could have, oh, clearly, she sees what I do, what nearly every other woman does.
00:13:45And several of the men, are happily watching.
00:13:48How can we not when the two of them are mesmerizing?
00:13:51Garak's wider, more densely packed with muscle than Zayden, his rebellion relic only extending
00:13:54to his shoulder, the second largest I've seen.
00:13:57Only Zayden's reach is his curved jawline.
00:13:59That is, Rhiannon murmurs beside me.
00:14:01It sure is, I agree.
00:14:03Stop objectifying our wing leader, Liam teases.
00:14:05Is that what we are doing?
00:14:07Rhiannon asks, not bothering to look away.
00:14:09My mouth waters at the muscle expanse of his back and that's felt it as.
00:14:12Yeah, I think that's what we are doing, Liam thoughts.
00:14:15We could just be watching for technique.
00:14:17Yeah, we absolutely could be, but I'm not.
00:14:20I'm shamelessly wondering how his skin would feel under my fingertips, how my body would
00:14:23react to having every ounce of that intense focus on me.
00:14:26He traces through my veins and stings my cheeks.
00:14:29A repetitive smacking sound draws my attention to the right, where a dog is tapping out with
00:14:32zeal.
00:14:33Imogen drops him, leaving him busting for breath on the mat, and an unwanted and absolutely
00:14:37illogical flash of ugly, twisted jealousy stabs me straight in the chest, but toe yearning
00:14:40she can't hide in her expression as she watches Zayden and Garak.
00:14:44If you guys are this easily distracted, we are fucked for the squad battle, Dane barks.
00:14:48You can kiss any thought of visiting the front lines goodbye.
00:14:50We all slap out of it, and I shake my head like that might clear the dizzying need that demands
00:14:54I do more than look at Zayden, which is just ridiculous.
00:14:57He only tolerates my existence because our dragons are mated, and here I am salivating over his
00:15:01half-naked body.
00:15:02It's a really nice half-naked body, though.
00:15:05Get back to work, we have another half hour, Dane orders, and I feel like he's talking directly
00:15:09to me, which would be the first thing he said since my memory got Amber killed.
00:15:13She got herself killed by breaking the codex, Dane growls.
00:15:16Sure enough, when I glance his way, Dane's eyes are narrowed on me, but I must be reading
00:15:20his face wrong.
00:15:21Surely that's not betrayal pursing his lips.
00:15:23Should we?
00:15:24Rihanna asks, lifting her staff.
00:15:26Yep, we definitely should.
00:15:28I roll my shoulders, and we start again.
00:15:30I match her move for move, using the patterns she taught me, but she switches up the next
00:15:33attack.
00:15:35Stop defending and go on the fence.
00:15:36Dane demands, his anger flooding my system and throwing off my footwork.
00:15:40Rihanna sweeps low and flips me onto my back, knocking the wind out of me as I collide with
00:15:44the mat.
00:15:45I fight for her, but it isn't there.
00:15:47Shit, I'm sorry, wee.
00:15:49Rihanna drops down to an ear beside me.
00:15:51Just relax and give it a second.
00:15:53And yet that is the rider Dane chose, Jack Mox, talking to someone in his squad as he grins
00:15:57maliciously at the edge of the mat.
00:15:58I'm starting to think he chose wrong, but considering I haven't seen you wield any
00:16:01powers, I bet you're thinking the same thing, too, aren't you, Sorengeel?
00:16:05Shouldn't you have twice the ability to channel with two dragons?
00:16:08It doesn't work like that with Anduna, but none of them know that.
00:16:12Liam stands, putting himself between Jack and me as the first pickle of hair dances
00:16:15into my lungs.
00:16:17Simmer down, Mary, I'm not going to attack your little charge.
00:16:20Not when I can just challenge her in a couple of weeks and accidentally snap her scrawny
00:16:23neck in front of an audience.
00:16:24Jack pulls his arms across his chest and watches me struggle with pure pleasure.
00:16:28Tell me, though, you are getting tired of playing the nurseman, aren't you?
00:16:32His friend from first wing offers him something, a slice of the orange he's eating, and Jack
00:16:36shoves his hand away at the wrist.
00:16:37Get that noxious shit away from me.
00:16:39Do you want me to end up in the infirmary?
00:16:41Walk the fuck away, ballo, Liam wants, dagger in hand.
00:16:45I manage one breath, then towards Jack's gaze rises from me to someone standing behind me.
00:16:49That look on his face, half envy, half shitting himself, means it has to be Zayden.
00:16:54She's only alive because of you, Jack spits, with the blood drains from his face.
00:16:58Right, because I'm the one who buried a dagger in your shoulder at threshing.
00:17:02Finally breathing somewhat normally, I scramble for my feet, touching the staff with both hands.
00:17:07We could just settle this now, Jack says, side-sticking Liam to look me in the eyes.
00:17:11If you're done hiding behind the big, strong men, my stomach hollows out because he's
00:17:14right.
00:17:15The only reason I don't accept his challenge is because I'm not sure I'll win, and the
00:17:18only reason he isn't attacking me is because of Liam and Zayden.
00:17:21If I attack Jack now, they'll kill him.
00:17:23Garak's hurting frame appears to the left, and I begrudgingly add him to my list of protectors.
00:17:27Hell, even Imogen has inched closer, but not on my behalf.
00:17:30It's only on his.
00:17:32That's what I thought, Jack says, blowing me a kiss.
00:17:35You ran, I snarled, wishing I could lunge forward and beat the shit out of him, but forcing
00:17:39my feet to stay planted where they are.
00:17:41That day in the field, you fucking ran when it was three on one, and we both know when
00:17:45it comes down to it, you'll run again.
00:17:46That's what counts too.
00:17:48Jack flashes, his eyes nearly bugging out of his face.
00:17:51Oh, for fuck's sake, Violet, Dane matters.
00:17:54She's not wrong, Zayden draws.
00:17:56Garak laughs, and Liam muscles Jack off the mat when he leaps at me.
00:17:59Jack spooks feet against the hardwood floor as he unsuccessfully fights to hold his ground,
00:18:03and Liam forces him from the gym.
00:18:05With a flick of his hand, Zayden shuts the huge doors with his power, locking Jack out.
00:18:10What the hell were you thinking, egging him on like that?
00:18:12Dane matches toward me, disbelief raising his brows.
00:18:15Oh, now you feel like talking to me.
00:18:17I lift my chin, but it's Zayden who fills my vision as he steps between us.
00:18:21The fury in his eyes is palpable, but I don't retrieve.
00:18:24Give us a second, his gaze is locked on mine, but we both know he's not talking to me.
00:18:28My purse skittles.
00:18:30Rihanna steps back.
00:18:31You want to tell me why the fuck you're not wearing that?
00:18:34His tone is soft with deadly as he points toward the bench where my arm lie is.
00:18:38I have to wash it at some point.
00:18:40And you thought that would be a good idea during sparring.
00:18:42His chest heaves, like he's batting to keep control of himself.
00:18:46I'm just trying not to notice his chest or the heat he's throwing off like a damn furnace.
00:18:50I washed it before sparring, knowing it could dry while your bad dog keeps watch,
00:18:53as opposed to sleeping without it because we both know what happens behind locked doors around here.
00:18:58Not behind yours anymore.
00:18:59His due ticks.
00:18:59I made sure of it.
00:19:01Because I'm supposed to trust you.
00:19:03Yes, a vein in his neck bulges.
00:19:06And you make it so easy.
00:19:07Sarcasm drips from my voice.
00:19:09You know I can't kill you.
00:19:10Fuck, sorry gay.
00:19:11The entire cordon knows I can't kill you.
00:19:13He leans into my space, equipping the rest of the room.
00:19:17That doesn't mean you can't hurt me.
00:19:19He blinks and shifts backward, composing himself in less than a heartbeat while mine still races.
00:19:23Stop training with the bo stuff.
00:19:24It's too easy to knock out of your hands.
00:19:26Stick to the daggers.
00:19:27To my surprise, he doesn't snatch it away just to prove he can.
00:19:30I was doing just fine until ten barged into my head with all his anger and distracted me.
00:19:34Aye you, my defense is rising like the hackles of a dog.
00:19:37Then learn how to block him out.
00:19:39He says it like it's just as simple.
00:19:41What?
00:19:41With all this power I am wielding, my brows rise.
00:19:43Or were you unaware that I am still not channeling?
00:19:45I want to throttle him, to shake some ever-loving sense into that beautiful head of his.
00:19:49He leans in so we are almost nose to nose.
00:19:52I am annoyingly aware of everything you do.
00:19:54Thanks to Liam.
00:19:55Every inch of my body vibrates with anger, with irritation, with whatever this electric
00:19:59tension is between us as we stand there, our eyes locked in combat.
00:20:03Winglet a reason, Dane starts.
00:20:05She's just not used to the bond yet.
00:20:06She'll learn how to block it out.
00:20:08Dane's words sing like a blow.
00:20:10Iron hair shafty and step back from Zayden.
00:20:12Good gods, we've been putting on a fucking show.
00:20:14What is it about Zayden that makes me tune out the rest of the world?
00:20:17You choose the oddest times to defend her.
00:20:19Zayden all but rolls his eyes as he looks at Dane, and the most convenient times not too.
00:20:24Dane's joke renches and his hands curl into fists at his sides.
00:20:28He's talking about Amber.
00:20:29I know it.
00:20:30Dane knows it.
00:20:30Everyone in this whole, awkward room knows it.
00:20:33Our entire squad was there when Dane demanded I call Zayden a liar.
00:20:36Zayden turns those unfathomable eyes back on me.
00:20:39Doors both favor and put the fucking armor back on, he finishes.
00:20:42Before I can counter, he turns and walks off the mat, meeting Garak at the edge.
00:20:46His back.
00:20:48My quiet gas is uncontrollable, and Zayden tenses for a second before taking his shirt from Garak's
00:20:52outstretched hand and tugging it over his head, throwing the navy blue relic off the
00:20:55dragon that sweeps from his waist to over both shoulders, extra-lindically with raised
00:20:58silver lines I couldn't see from across the gym.
00:21:01Silver lines I instantly recognizes scars.
00:21:03You held your own and controlled your temper, Dane says, an immense amount of pride flooding
00:21:07my chest.
00:21:09She's ready, and then I ask for the giddy jolt of joy that makes me instantly life-headed.
00:21:13She's ready, he agrees.
00:21:15Alexis.
00:21:16A couple of hours later, I rip my brush through my hair in the privacy of my room, still fully
00:21:20dressed down to my boots and armor.
00:21:22I still can't believe I made an ass of myself in front of my entire squad simply because
00:21:26Zayden decided to train shirtless.
00:21:28I really need to get laid.
00:21:29I cause my brushstroke when a rush of energy races down my spine, dissipating in a heartbeat.
00:21:35Well, that's weird.
00:21:36Maybe it's, no, it can't be.
00:21:38It felt completely different when I didn't stop time through me.
00:21:41That was a full body flood that expanded through my fingers and toes, then left afterward.
00:21:46Another wave ripples through me, stronger this time, and I drop the brush, clutching the edge
00:21:49of the dresser so I don't fall as my knees threaten to buckle.
00:21:51The energy doesn't dissipate this time, it sticks around, humming under my skin, ringing
00:21:56in my ears, overwhelming every sense.
00:21:59Something within me expands, somehow too big for my own body, to ask to be contained, and
00:22:03pains ears every nerve as I crack open, the sound reverberating through my skull like
00:22:06bones shattering.
00:22:07It's as though I've been split at the very seams of the fabric of my being.
00:22:11My knees hit the floor, and I throw my hands over my temples, trying to shove everything
00:22:14I am back into my skull, forcing myself to shrink.
00:22:18Energy pause in, a deluge of raw, endless power, eroding everything I wasn't forging
00:22:22something completely new as it fills every pore, every organ, every bone.
00:22:25My head screams, and it feels like air has flown too high too fast and I can't pop my
00:22:29ears.
00:22:30All I can do is lie there on the floor and pray the pressure equalizes.
00:22:33I stare at my brush, the hardwood flow biting into my cheek, and breathe.
00:22:37In and then out.
00:22:38In, and then out, surrendering to the onslaught.
00:22:41Finally, the pain ebbs, but the energy, the power, doesn't.
00:22:44It's simply, there, prowling through my veins, saturating every cell in my body.
00:22:48It is everything I am and everything I can be all at once.
00:22:51I sit up slowly and flip my hands to examine my tingling palms.
00:22:55It feels like they should look different, changed, but they're not.
00:22:58They're still my fingers, my center wrists, and yet they're so much more now.
00:23:01They're strong enough to shape the torrent inside me, to mold it into whatever I desire.
00:23:05This is your power, isn't it?
00:23:07I ask Dan, but he doesn't answer.
00:23:09And then now.
00:23:10There's only silence.
00:23:12Go figure, they're always around, pushing into my head when I could use a little space,
00:23:16then nowhere to be found when it's the other way around.
00:23:18I'd heard them say I was ready earlier, but I figured it would take a day or two for my
00:23:21mind to fully open that pathway once Dan started channeling.
00:23:24Guess not.
00:23:25Rhiannon, I have to tell Rhiannon.
00:23:27She's going to feel that I can finally go to Professor Ka's class with her.
00:23:31And Liam, he can stop pretending that he can't channel just so he isn't forced to leave
00:23:34me for an hour a day.
00:23:35Heat washes over me, prickling my skin and centering low in my stomach.
00:23:39Odd, but whatever, it's probably just a side effect of the power.
00:23:42I throw open the lock on my door and yank it open.
00:23:45My vision blurs and neat slams into me, robbing me of every logical thought besides satiating
00:23:49the overwhelming.
00:23:51Violet, the fuzzy shape of a man stands in the hallway, and I blink Liam into focus.
00:23:55You alright?
00:23:56Are you sleeping in the hallway?
00:23:57I grip the doorframe as an image of falling fills my mind, and I feel the sizzle of flakes
00:24:01as they make contact with my heated skin.
00:24:03It's gone as quickly as it appeared, but the driving, tundering desire remains.
00:24:07Oh shit, this is lust.
00:24:09No, Liam shakes his head, just hanging out here before turning in.
00:24:13Aye.
00:24:14Look at him then, really, honestly look at him.
00:24:16He's more than handsome, with strong features and sky blue eyes that are startlingly beautiful.
00:24:21Why are you looking at me like that?
00:24:22He sets his knife in semi-carved dragon down.
00:24:24Like what, my teeth sink into my bottom lip and I debate rubbing against him like a cat
00:24:29in heat while demanding he appears this unimaginable ache.
00:24:32But he's not who you really want.
00:24:34He's not Zayden.
00:24:35Like, he cocks his head to the side.
00:24:37Like something's going on, you don't look like you feel, you know, like yourself.
00:24:41Oh shit.
00:24:42It's because I'm not myself.
00:24:44All of this, the need, the lust, the craving for the one person who I'm meant to be with,
00:24:47it's ten.
00:24:49Ten's emotions aren't just overwhelming me, they're controlling me.
00:24:51I'm good, go to bed.
00:24:53I step back into my room and slam the door while I still have the mental capacity to
00:24:56do so.
00:24:57Then I start pacing, but that doesn't stop the next blast of heat or the compulsion too.
00:25:02I have to get out of here before I make an epic mistake and take his feelings out on Liam.
00:25:07Grabbing my fur line cloak in one hand and pulling my hair up with the other, I swirl the
00:25:10fabric over my shoulders and fasten the clip beneath my throat.
00:25:13A second later, I peek out the door, and when I'm sure the coast is clear, I fucking flee.
00:25:16I make it to the entrance of the spiral steps, the ones that lead to the river, before I
00:25:21have to lean back against the stone wall and breathe through the fog of ten's emotions.
00:25:25Once the wave passes, I raise down the steps, keeping one hand on the wall in case I'm pulled
00:25:29under again.
00:25:29The mage lights flicker on as I approach and fizzle out as I race by, as though this new
00:25:34found power is already at work, stretching into the world.
00:25:37Away, I have to get away from everyone until ten finishes, whatever he and S.A.Y.L are doing.
00:25:42I stumble out of the stable and emerge at the foundation walls of the citadel.
00:25:45Snow fills the sky, and I tip my head back, savoring the briefness of snowflakes on skin
00:25:49that's hated for all the wrong reasons.
00:25:52The air is brisked and chilled, and
00:25:53My eyes pop open at the scent in the air and I whirl, my throat whipping out behind me
00:25:57as I find the soles of the sweet, easily identifiable smoke.
00:26:00Zeran is leaning back against the wall, one foot braced on the stone, smoking and watching
00:26:04me like he doesn't have a care in the world.
00:26:06Is that, Choram?
00:26:08He blows out a puff of smoke.
00:26:09Wonsum, unless you're here to continue our earlier argument, in which case, none for
00:26:13you.
00:26:14My Joe practically unhinges.
00:26:15No, we're not allowed to smoke that.
00:26:17Yeah, well, the people who made this rule obviously weren't bonded to S.A.
00:26:20YL in 10, now we're there.
00:26:22A smirk lifts a corner of his mouth.
00:26:24Gods, I could stare at his lips forever.
00:26:26They are perfectly shaped and yet entirely too reclident for the slashing line of his
00:26:29Joe.
00:26:30It helps with distancing yourself.
00:26:32He offers me the rolled Choram in cocks and eyebrow at me, the one with the scar.
00:26:36Beyond what shielding does, of course.
00:26:38I shake my head and cross through the newly fallen snow to brace my weight on the wall beside
00:26:41him, letting my head fall back against the stone.
00:26:44Soothe yourself.
00:26:45He inheres DP on the Choram and then puts it out against the wall.
00:26:49I feel like I'm on fucking fire.
00:26:50That's putting it mildly.
00:26:52Yeah, that happens.
00:26:53His laugh holds a wicked edge, and I make the utterly unforgivable mistake of turning to
00:26:57see his smile.
00:26:58Zayden, while brooding and bossy, dangerous and lethal, is a toe-curring sight that makes
00:27:02my pulse quicken.
00:27:03But Zayden laughing, his head thrown back with a smile curving his mouth, is drop-dead beautiful.
00:27:07My stupid, foolish heart feels like there's a fist around it, squeezing tight.
00:27:11There is nothing I wouldn't sacrifice, nothing I wouldn't give to have one unguarded moment
00:27:15with this man I am going to be tatted to for the rest of our lives.
00:27:19This has to be ten.
00:27:20It just, has to.
00:27:21And yet, I know it isn't.
00:27:23While I admired Liam upstairs, I am completely, utterly obsessed with Zayden.
00:27:27His eyes need mine in the moonlight.
00:27:29Oh, violence, you are going to have to learn to shield against ten or his espacades with
00:27:32S-D-A-Y-L will drive you mad, or into someone's bed.
00:27:36I squeeze my eyes shut just so I can escape his gorgeous face as a jolt of heat flashes
00:27:39through me, making every inch of my skin tingle and burn.
00:27:42I reach a hand out to steady myself against the wall again.
00:27:45Oh, I know, I am horrified to see Liam again.
00:27:48Liam, why, he pivots to face me, leaning against his shoulder.
00:27:51Where the hell is your bodyguard?
00:27:53I'm my own bodyguard, I counter, resting my cheek on the icy stone.
00:27:57And he's in bed.
00:27:59Your bed, his voice is like a crack of lightning.
00:28:01I pry my eyes open to meet his gaze.
00:28:03The snow makes everything so much brighter, highlighting the furrowed line of his brow,
00:28:07the form set of his mouth.
00:28:08No, not that it should matter to you.
00:28:10Is he jealous?
00:28:11That's, oddly comforting.
00:28:13He loses a breath, his shoulders dipping.
00:28:15It doesn't matter to me as long as you're both consenting, and trust me, you are in no
00:28:18condition to consent.
00:28:20You have no clue what I am capable of consenting.
00:28:22Undeniable, unquenchable need nearly takes me out of the knees.
00:28:26Zayden's arm wraps around my waist, stigling me.
00:28:28Why the hell aren't you shielding?
00:28:30Not all of us have been given lessons.
00:28:31He just started channeling before all this, and in case you're forebored, you are only
00:28:35allowed to attend professor.
00:28:38Pass class if you can meal.
00:28:39Always thought that was a ridiculous rule.
00:28:41He sighs.
00:28:42All right.
00:28:43Crash course.
00:28:43Only because I've been where you are and woken up with more than a few regrets.
00:28:47You are actually going to help me.
00:28:49I've been helping you for months.
00:28:50His hand flexes at my waist, and I swear I can feel the warmth of his death through
00:28:54my broken leathers.
00:28:55No, you're sent me into hell.
00:28:57He's been helping me for months.
00:28:58My forehead pukles, weeks, almost once, whatever, he has the nerve to look offended.
00:29:03I'm the one who burst through your door and killed everyone who attacked you, and then
00:29:06I removed the other threat to your life with a very public, very polarizing display of vengeance.
00:29:10Liam didn't do that.
00:29:11I did.
00:29:12The crowd wasn't polarized.
00:29:14They were all for it.
00:29:14I was there.
00:29:16You were torn.
00:29:16In fact, you begged her not to kill her, damn well knowing she'd just come after you again.
00:29:20That point was still debatable.
00:29:22Fine, but let's not pretend that you didn't do most of that for yourself.
00:29:25It would be inconvenient for you if I die.
00:29:28I shrug, blatantly poking at him to help ignore the rising tide of lust and ring through
00:29:31me.
00:29:32He stares at me with disbelief.
00:29:34You know what, we're not fighting tonight, not if you want to learn how to shield.
00:29:38Fine, we're not fighting, teach me, I tilt my chin, boards, I barely reach his core bone.
00:29:43Ask me nicely, he leans closer.
00:29:46Have you always been this tall?
00:29:47I blurt the first thing that comes to mind.
00:29:49No, I was a child at some point.
00:29:52I roll my eyes.
00:29:53Ask me nicely, violence, he whispers, or I'm born.
00:29:57I can feel ten at the edge of my mind, his emotions abbing and flowing, and know the
00:30:00next wave is going to hit hard.
00:30:02How faking long can those two possibly take?
00:30:04How often is it like this with them?
00:30:06Often enough that you are going to need proper shields.
00:30:08You won't ever be able to block them out completely, and sometimes they forget to block
00:30:12us, like tonight.
00:30:13That's why the churrum helps, but at least it's like walking by a brothel instead of actively
00:30:17participating in one.
00:30:18Well, shit, right then, alright, will you teach me to shield?
00:30:22A smile curves his mouth, and my gaze drops to his lips.
00:30:25Say please.
00:30:26Are you always this difficult?
00:30:28Only when I know I have something you need.
00:30:30What can I say?
00:30:31I like making you squirm.
00:30:32It's like a sweet little slice of payback for what you put me through these last couple
00:30:35of months.
00:30:36He brushes the snow off my hair.
00:30:38What I could do through?
00:30:39Unbelievable.
00:30:40You've scared me nearly to death once or twice, so I think saying please is a fair request.
00:30:44Like he's ever played fair a day in his life, I take a deep breath and sort it a snowflake
00:30:49that lands on my nose.
00:30:50As you prefer, Zayden, I smile sweetly up and come in into a little closer.
00:30:54Would you pretty, pretty please teach me how to shield before I accidentally climb to like
00:30:57a tree and we both wake up with regrets.
00:30:59Oh, I am firmly in control of my faculties.
00:31:02He smiles again, and I feel it like a caress.
00:31:05Dangerous.
00:31:05This is so damn dangerous.
00:31:06Heat flushes my skin, so hot that I debate tossing my crow to the ground just to get a little
00:31:10relief.
00:31:11Notably, Zayden isn't wearing one.
00:31:13And since you asked so nicely, he adjusts his stance and brings both his hands up to
00:31:17my cheeks, peddling my face before sliding them back to hold my head.
00:31:20Close your eyes.
00:31:22It requires touching me, my eyes that have shuddered the sensation of his skin against
00:31:25mine.
00:31:26Not at all, just one of the perks of not thinking too clearly.
00:31:29You have incredibly touchable skin.
00:31:31The compliment makes me suck in a breath, so much for controlling his faculties.
00:31:35You need to end mission somewhere.
00:31:37Anywhere, I prefer the talk of my favorite his idea of what's left of Aritya.
00:31:40Wherever it is, it needs to feel like home.
00:31:43The only place I can think of is the archives.
00:31:46Fear your feet hit the ground and dig in some.
00:31:48I imagine my boots on the polished marble floor of the archives and wiggle them a little.
00:31:52Got it?
00:31:53That's called grounding, keeping your mental self somewhere so you aren't swept away by
00:31:56the power.
00:31:57Now call to your power.
00:31:58Open your senses.
00:32:00My palms begin to tingle, and a flood of energy surrounds me, just as saturating as it was in
00:32:03my bedroom but without the pain.
00:32:05It's everywhere, filling the archives and pushing at the walls, making them bow and
00:32:08bend, threatening to break them.
00:32:10Too much.
00:32:11Focus on your feet, stay grounded, can you see where the power flows from?
00:32:15If not, just pick a place.
00:32:17I turn in my mind.
00:32:18The barrage of molten power is flowing through the door.
00:32:20I see it.
00:32:21Perfect.
00:32:22You are a natural.
00:32:23It takes most people a week just to learn how to ground.
00:32:25Now, do whatever you need to mentally do to wall yourself off from the current.
00:32:2910 is the source.
00:32:30You've got that power, and you'll have some control back.
00:32:33The door.
00:32:33I just need to close the door and twist the enormous, circular handle that sees the archives
00:32:37of a fire control.
00:32:39Desire makes my heart pound, and I grab onto Zaden's arms, anchoring myself in reality.
00:32:44You've got this.
00:32:44His voice sounds strange.
00:32:46Whatever you create in your mind is real to you.
00:32:48Shut off the valve.
00:32:49Build a wall.
00:32:49Whatever makes sense.
00:32:51It's a door.
00:32:52My fingers dig into the soft material of his tuning, and I mentally heave myself against
00:32:55a door, forcing it shit one inch at a time.
00:32:58There you go.
00:32:58Keep going.
00:33:00My physical body trembles at the effort it takes to mentally shove the door close, but
00:33:03I get it there.
00:33:04I've got the door shut.
00:33:06Great.
00:33:06Lock it.
00:33:07I imagine spinning the giant handle and hearing the locks click into place.
00:33:10The relief is immediate.
00:33:11A cool blast of snow against my feverish skin.
00:33:14Power pulses.
00:33:15Turning the door clear.
00:33:16It changed.
00:33:16I can see through the door.
00:33:18Yeah, you'll never be able to fully block him.
00:33:20But it locked.
00:33:21I nod.
00:33:22Open your eyes.
00:33:23But do your best to keep that door locked.
00:33:25It means keeping one foot grounded.
00:33:27Don't be surprised if it slips.
00:33:28We'll just start again.
00:33:30I open my eyes, keeping that mental picture of the shut up eyes door.
00:33:33And while my body is still heated and flushed with warm, that inescapable, driving me it
00:33:37is basically, somewhat mutant.
00:33:39He's, I can't find the right words.
00:33:41Zedong studies me with an intensity that makes me sway toward him.
00:33:45You are astonishing.
00:33:46He shakes his head.
00:33:47I couldn't do that for weeks.
00:33:48Guess I have a superior teacher.
00:33:50The emotion swelling through me is more than joy.
00:33:52It's euphoria that has me grinning like a fool.
00:33:54I'm finally not only good at something, but astonishing.
00:33:57His thumbs stroke over the soft skin under my ears, and his gaze drops too.
00:34:00My mouth and heat's, hands flexing.
00:34:04He draws me forward a few inches before he suddenly lets go and retrace the full step.
00:34:07Damn it, touching you was a bad idea.
00:34:10The worst, I agree, but my tongue skims my low lip.
00:34:13He groans and my core melts at the sound.
00:34:15Kissing you would be a cataclysmic mistake.
00:34:18Calamitous, what would it take to hear that groan again?
00:34:20The inches between us feel like kindling, ready to burn at the first suggestion of heat,
00:34:24and I'm a living, breathing flame.
00:34:26This is everything I should run from, and yet denying the primal attraction I feel is
00:34:29completely, utterly impossible.
00:34:32We'll both regret it, he shakes his head, but there's more than hunger in his eyes as
00:34:35he stares at my lips.
00:34:37Naturally, I whisper, but knowing I'll regret it doesn't stop me from wanting it, wanting
00:34:41him.
00:34:41Regretting is a problem for future Violet.
00:34:44Fuck it.
00:34:45One second he's out of reach and the next his mouth is on mine, hot and insistent.
00:34:49Gods, yes, this is exactly what I need.
00:34:52I'm trapped between the immobile stone of the wall and the hard lines of Satan's body,
00:34:56and there's nowhere else I'd rather be.
00:34:57The thought should sober me, but all I do is lean in for more.
00:35:01He turns a hand through my hair, cradling the back of my head, angling me for a duper
00:35:04kiss, and my lips part eagerly.
00:35:06He takes the invitation, sliding his tongue along mine with expert, azing strokes that have
00:35:10me clutching at his chest, fisting the material of his shirt to pull him closer as
00:35:13desire dances up and down my spine.
00:35:15He tastes like Churuman Min, like everything I am not supposed to want and yet can't help
00:35:19needing, and I kiss him back with everything I have, sucking on his lower lip and scraping
00:35:23my teeth over him.
00:35:25Violence, he moans, and the sound of the nickname on his lips makes me ravenous.
00:35:29Closer, I need him closer.
00:35:31As though he can hear my thoughts, he kisses me harder, claiming every lining curve of my
00:35:34mouth with a reckless edge that makes my body sing.
00:35:37He's just as nearly as I am, and when he shifts his grip to my ass and picks me up, I wrap
00:35:40my legs around his waist and hold on like my life depends on this kiss never ending.
00:35:45The wall digs into my back, but I don't care.
00:35:47My hands are finally in his hair and it's just as soft as I imagined.
00:35:50He kisses me until I feel thoroughly devoured and explored, and then he sets my tongue into
00:35:53his mouth so I can do the same.
00:35:56This is complete and utter madness, and yet I can't stop.
00:35:58Can't get in if I could live forever in this tiny slice of insanity if it means keeping his
00:36:02mouth on mine, leaving my world narrow to the heat of his body and the skill stroke of
00:36:05his tongue.
00:36:07His hips rock into mine, and I gasp at the delicious friction.
00:36:10He breaks the kiss, sliding his mouth across my jaw, my neck, and I know I'll do anything
00:36:14to keep him here with me.
00:36:15I want to feel his mouth everywhere.
00:36:18We're a tangle of tongues and teeth, wasting lips and hands as the snow falls around us,
00:36:21and the kiss consumes me the same way the cow had before, so thoroughly I can feel it
00:36:24in every cell in my body.
00:36:26Knee pulses between my thighs, and I jolted the simple knowledge that there's nothing he
00:36:29could do that I wouldn't welcome.
00:36:31I want him.
00:36:32Only him.
00:36:33Here.
00:36:33Now.
00:36:33Anywhere.
00:36:34Whenever.
00:36:34I've never been this out of control over a single kiss.
00:36:37Never wanted someone the way I do him.
00:36:39It's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time because I know that in this moment, he
00:36:43has the power to break me.
00:36:44And I'd let him.
00:36:45I surrender completely, melting into him, my body going client against.
00:36:50His end losing good mental fertility cause grounding.
00:36:53A flash of light burns behind my closed eyes, followed by the boom of thunder.
00:36:56Tinder's snow isn't uncommon around here, but damn does it summarize how this feels, wild
00:37:00and out of control.
00:37:01But then he breaks the kiss with a sharp gasp, his brow furrowing with something akin to panic
00:37:05before he slams his eyes shut.
00:37:08I'm still struggling to draw a full breath when he abruptly steps away from the wall and
00:37:11palms the backs of my thighs, sitting me on my feet again.
00:37:14He makes sure I'm steady and then retreats a few feet, like the distance will save his
00:37:17life.
00:37:17You have to go, his words are clipped in a door for the heat in his eyes, his ragged
00:37:22breath.
00:37:23Why?
00:37:23The cold is a shock to my system without his body heat.
00:37:26Because I can't.
00:37:27He rakes both hands through his hair and leaves them on the top of his head.
00:37:30And I refuse to act on desire that isn't yours.
00:37:33So you have to walk back up those steps.
00:37:35Now.
00:37:35I shake my head, but I want everything.
00:37:38This isn't your want.
00:37:39He tilts his head up at the sky.
00:37:41That's the fucking problem.
00:37:42And I can't leave you out here on your own, so have just a little mercy on me and go.
00:37:46Silence ice is over between us as I get a hold of myself.
00:37:49He's saying no.
00:37:50And the shitty part about it isn't the chill of chivalrous rejection.
00:37:53It's that he's right.
00:37:54This started because I couldn't tell Ten's emotions from my own.
00:37:57But those emotions are gone, aren't they?
00:37:58My door is wide open, and I don't feel anything coming from Ten's direction.
00:38:02And then I flee for the second time tonight, climbing steps as quickly as possible to get
00:38:05back to the citadel.
00:38:06My shields are open, but I don't bother stopping to shut that mental door, since Ten isn't barging
00:38:10through.
00:38:12Common sense prevails by the time I reach the top, my thigh is burning.
00:38:16From the workout, Zayden stopped us from making a huge mistake.
00:38:19But I didn't.
00:38:20What the hell is wrong with me?
00:38:21And how could I have been a heartbeat away from ripping off my clothes to get closer to
00:38:24someone I don't like?
00:38:25First-year descendants that could not be controlled from their first manifestation.
00:38:29Pity.
00:38:30Major F. Indra's Guide to the Rider's Quadrant, Unauthorized Edition.
00:38:33Chapter 23
00:38:34I don't even know what I was thinking.
00:38:36I say to Rihanna as I sit cross-legged on her bed, watching her pack her satchel with books
00:38:40for the afternoon.
00:38:41The relic on my back burns today, as if it needs to remind me that I can channel now,
00:38:44and I roll my shoulders to try and relieve the sensation, but it's impossible.
00:38:48My clock has started.
00:38:50I can't believe you managed to wait this long to tell me.
00:38:52She lifts the canvas strap over her head and turns, leaning back against her desk.
00:38:56And that's not judgment.
00:38:57Far from it.
00:38:58I'm all for you exploring, whatever it is you want to explore.
00:39:01I've been with Liam from the second I walked out the door this morning, and last night
00:39:04I was a little too discombobulated to put it into words.
00:39:07The knot between my shoulders has me rolling my neck, looking for some relief.
00:39:11With slight resistance and image and using weight training to strengthen the muscles
00:39:13around my joints in hopes they won't sublixate as often, which is hit promise right now,
00:39:17I'm a mass of aches and tightness.
00:39:19Between 10 finally channeling in then everything else, it was just a night.
00:39:23Good point.
00:39:23A grin shapes her mouth and her brown eyes sparkle.
00:39:26Was it good?
00:39:26Tell me it was good.
00:39:27That man looks like he knows exactly what he's doing.
00:39:31It was just a kiss.
00:39:32He sings in my cheeks at the blatant lie.
00:39:34But yeah, he knows exactly what he's doing.
00:39:37My brow furrows, my imagination running through the thousand different consequences of what
00:39:40I did last night just like it has been all morning.
00:39:43Second thoughts.
00:39:44She tilts her head, stunning me.
00:39:45You look like maybe they are third thoughts, even.
00:39:48No, I shake my head.
00:39:49Well, maybe, but only if it makes stuff between us weird.
00:39:53Right, because you're stuck with him for the rest of your careers.
00:39:55Lies, too.
00:39:56Have your guys talked about what happens after he graduates?
00:39:59Her eyebrows rise.
00:40:00Oh, I bet you get the choice of beauty stations.
00:40:02Wingletters always get to pick.
00:40:04He'll get to pick.
00:40:05I grumble, toying with an errand string on my satchel.
00:40:08I will have to follow.
00:40:0910 and SGA YL haven't been separated for years.
00:40:12Her last rider died almost 50 years ago, and as far as I know, she flew wherever and whenever
00:40:16she wanted to be in year 10 before Moline, his last rider, died in Tirinder.
00:40:20It's a two-day flight to that part of our border, depending on where he's stationed,
00:40:23so what are we going to do next year and year after?
00:40:26Her lips curse.
00:40:27Not sure.
00:40:27Fiat said we won't be able to be apart more than a couple of days, so does that mean one
00:40:31of you has to always follow the other?
00:40:33No clue.
00:40:33I think that's why most related pairs bond within the same year, so they don't have these
00:40:37issues.
00:40:38How am I supposed to remain competitive next year if I'm constantly flying off to the
00:40:41front line with 10?
00:40:42How is Zayden supposed to be effective if he has to fly back here all the time?
00:40:46My face fringes.
00:40:47He's the most powerful rider of our generation.
00:40:49He's going to be needed on the front, not here.
00:40:52For now, Rhiannon stares at me with intention, lifting her brows.
00:40:55He's the most powerful rider in our generation for now.
00:40:59What?
00:40:59Three knocks up both of us looking toward her door.
00:41:02Three, Liam asks, panic evident in his voice.
00:41:05Is Soren Gale in there with you?
00:41:06Because.
00:41:07Rhiannon opens the door, and Liam stumbles inside, catching his balance before his gaze leaves
00:41:11the room, finding mine.
00:41:13There you are, I went to the bathroom, and you disappeared.
00:41:16No one's trying to assassinate her in my room, Mary.
00:41:19Rhiannon rolls her eyes, you don't have to be with her every second of every fucking day.
00:41:23Now give us five minutes and then we'll start walking to class.
00:41:26She pushes at his chest and he retreats, his mouth opening and shutting like he's trying
00:41:29to think of an argument but can't as she forces him out the door and shuts it in his face.
00:41:33He's, I sigh, dedicated.
00:41:35That's one word for it, she matters.
00:41:37You'd think that guy who's raised in his life or something, the way he sticks to you like
00:41:40blue.
00:41:41He's pretty much told me that he does, but I keep the confidence to myself.
00:41:44Between Zayden's meetings, stopping time, and Andon's age, I'm starting to keep too
00:41:48many secrets.
00:41:50Oh, her eyes light up, and she sits on the edge of the bed next to me.
00:41:53Something happened with me last night, too.
00:41:56Yeah, I power to face her.
00:41:58Do go on.
00:41:59All right, she takes a deep breath.
00:42:00I've only done it three times.
00:42:02Twice last night and once this morning, so be patient for a second.
00:42:06Of course, I nod.
00:42:07Watch the book on my desk.
00:42:09Got it, my gaze locks on the history textbook on the left-hand side of the desk.
00:42:13A minute passes, but I don't look away.
00:42:15Then the thing vanishes.
00:42:17What the hell, Lee?
00:42:18I fly to my feet and whip my head toward her.
00:42:20What just, my mouth drops.
00:42:22She's holding the book, looking up at me with a wide grin.
00:42:25Is that the same book?
00:42:26I lean in just to see, yep, it's the same.
00:42:28I guess I can summon.
00:42:30Her brain grows even wider.
00:42:32Holy shit, I grasp her shoulders in excitement.
00:42:34That's amazing.
00:42:35That's incredible.
00:42:36I don't even have words for what that is.
00:42:38Moving objects and locking doors are the small magics, the baseline of wielding that comes
00:42:41from our constant connection to our dragons through our relics once they begin channeling.
00:42:45But making something disappear and bringing it to you.
00:42:47I haven't read about a signal power like that in a century.
00:42:50It's a hell of a signal.
00:42:51Right, she catches the book to her chest.
00:42:53I can only do it from a few feet away, and I can't go through walls or anything.
00:42:58Yet, I collect her, joy bubbling through me.
00:43:00You can't go through walls yet.
00:43:01Really, that's the kind of rare signet that's going to make your entire career.
00:43:05I hope so.
00:43:06She stands, putting the book back on her desk.
00:43:08I just have to develop it.
00:43:10You will.
00:43:10I say it with the same assurance I feel.
00:43:13The three of us walk toward the Academy Queen minutes later, joined by Soya and Redok
00:43:16as they come out of Commons, fresh from the library.
00:43:18I've finished this for you, Liam says, handing me a figurine as we climb the white spiral staircase
00:43:23to the third floor.
00:43:25It's ten.
00:43:25He's even mastered his style.
00:43:27This is incredible.
00:43:29Thanks.
00:43:30Liam gives me a grin, flashing his dimple.
00:43:32I wanted to carve Andrina first, but I'm not around her as much, you know.
00:43:36She's pretty private.
00:43:37We break off from the crowd headed to the fourth floor, and I stash the ribbon in my bag, then
00:43:40reach out and give him a hug.
00:43:43Really?
00:43:43I love it.
00:43:44The hallway is crowded but peers as we walk farther down, nearing Professor Ka's room.
00:43:49You're welcome, he tells to Rhiannon.
00:43:51I'm starting fierce decks.
00:43:53Rhiannon jokes with Liam that she hopes he captures her full bodasri, but I lose the rest
00:43:56of the conversation as I glance toward the floor-to-ceiling window before the entrance
00:43:59to the battle briefed hour and my breath catches.
00:44:01Zayrin is standing with the other wingletters, locked in what looks to be a tense discussion,
00:44:05his arms folded across his chest.
00:44:07It took the commandant all of five minutes to appoint Lamani Zohar as wingleader for third
00:44:10wing after Amber was executed, but since she was already executive officer, it made the
00:44:14most sense.
00:44:15I'll never get over how quickly people move on around here, how callously death is swept
00:44:19under a rug and trampled on minutes later.
00:44:22Bords, Zayrin looks good today, his brows likely furrowed as he listens intently to something
00:44:26Lamani says, then nods.
00:44:27Hard to believe I had that mouth on mine last night, those arms wrapped around me.
00:44:31Forget second thoughts, I just want more.
00:44:34As if he feels me staring, Zayrin lifts his head, his gaze gliding with mine across the
00:44:37space with the same effect as a touch.
00:44:39My purse kit is in my lips part.
00:44:40We are going to be late, Rhi reminds me, glancing back over her shoulder.
00:44:45Zayrin looks behind me, and his mouth tenses.
00:44:48We, can we talk?
00:44:49Dane lasts, a little out of breath, like he is going to catch up to me.
00:44:53Now, I rip my gaze from Zayrin's and turn to face the person I thought was my best friend.
00:44:58Dane grimaces, rubbing a hand behind his neck, and nods.
00:45:00I tried to catch you off the formation, but it disappeared pretty quickly, and after what
00:45:04happened last night, I feel now is better than later.
00:45:08It might be convenient for you to want to talk after weeks of ignoring me, but I have
00:45:11class right now.
00:45:12I grab the strap off my satchel.
00:45:14We have a couple of minutes.
00:45:15The pee in his eyes is so heavy that I feel the weight of it on my chest.
00:45:19Please.
00:45:20I glance at Rhi Annan, who is glaring at Dane with her true feelings for once, instead
00:45:23of the deference over him as our squad leader.
00:45:25I'll be right in.
00:45:26She glances at me and then nods, heading into Carr's room with the rest of our squad.
00:45:31I follow Dane out of the doorway, to a place along the wall where we won't obstruct traffic.
00:45:35You let Ted share your memory with everyone instead of just showing me yourself, he blurts,
00:45:39his hand falling to his sides.
00:45:41I'm sorry, what the hell is he talking about?
00:45:44When all that shit went down with Amber, I asked you to show me what happened, and you
00:45:47refused.
00:45:48He shifts his weight, just one of his nervous tells, and the motion slips away some of my
00:45:52anger.
00:45:52When push comes to shove, he's my oldest friend, even if he's being an ass.
00:45:57I didn't believe you, and that part is on me.
00:45:59He raises his hand over his heart.
00:46:01I should have believed you, but I couldn't reconcile the woman I knew with what you were
00:46:04saying, and we didn't come find me after the attack, either.
00:46:07Her glaces his tone.
00:46:08I had to hear about it in formation.
00:46:10We, regardless of the fight we had on the flight field, you're still, you're to me.
00:46:14And my best friend had been viciously attacked, nearly killed, and we didn't say a single
00:46:17word about it.
00:46:19You didn't ask, I say softly.
00:46:20You reached for my head like you were entitled to my memory after blatantly telling me you
00:46:24didn't believe me, and you demanded I show you.
00:46:26It's everything I can do to keep my voice even.
00:46:28Two lines appear between his eyebrows.
00:46:30I didn't ask.
00:46:31You didn't ask.
00:46:32I shake my head, and after being told down this time, I'm not tough enough for this
00:46:36place, not strong enough.
00:46:37Well, what happened on the flight field was a long time coming between you and me.
00:46:41The worst part is that I knew you wouldn't believe me.
00:46:43It's why I almost didn't tell Zayden who it was, because I was sure he wouldn't believe
00:46:46me, either.
00:46:48But he did, Dane's voice drops, and his jaw tics, and he was the one who killed them
00:46:51in your bedroom.
00:46:53Because Tane told SGA he vial, I fold my arms across my chest, not because he was already
00:46:58there or anything, and I know you hate him.
00:47:00You have every reason to hate him, too.
00:47:02He reminds me, reaching for me before thinking better off it and drawing his hand back.
00:47:06I know that, I counter.
00:47:08His father put an arrow in Brennan's chest, according to Battlefield reports.
00:47:11I live with that knowledge every day.
00:47:13But don't you think he sees me and remembers that my mother put his father to death?
00:47:17It's, the right words are hard to find.
00:47:19It's complicated between us.
00:47:20Images of last night fled my mind, from Zayden's first smile to the last brush of his lips, and
00:47:24I shove them away.
00:47:26Dane flinches.
00:47:26You trust him more than you trust me.
00:47:28It's not an accusation, but it's things all the same.
00:47:31That's not it.
00:47:32My stomach twists.
00:47:33Wait, is it true?
00:47:34I just, I have to trust him, Dane.
00:47:36Not with everything, of course.
00:47:37Shit, I am tying myself into knots here.
00:47:40Neither of us can do anything about SGA YL and Dan being mated.
00:47:43And trust me, neither of us likes the situation, but we have to figure out a way through it.
00:47:47We don't have a choice.
00:47:48Dane mutters a curse, but he doesn't disagree.
00:47:51I know you just want to keep me safe, Dane, I whisper.
00:47:54But keeping me safe is keeping me from growing, too.
00:47:56He blinks at me, and something shifts between us.
00:47:59Like maybe, just maybe, he's finally ready to hear me.
00:48:01When you told me that this place puts everything away from you, too.
00:48:04Reveal what's underneath, I was afraid.
00:48:07With death underneath the brittle bones and frail ligaments, there was just no weakness.
00:48:11Only this time, I wouldn't be able to blame my body.
00:48:14You've never been weak to me, V, Dane starts, but I shake my head.
00:48:18Don't you get it?
00:48:19I interrupt.
00:48:19It doesn't matter what you think, it only matters what I think.
00:48:22And you were right.
00:48:23But the rider's podran swept away the fear and even the anger about being thrown into this podran,
00:48:27and it revealed who I really am.
00:48:29At my core, Dane, I'm a rider.
00:48:31Te'en knew it, and then I knew it, it's why they chose me.
00:48:34And until you can stop looking for ways to keep me in a glass cage,
00:48:36we aren't going to get past this, no matter how many years of friendship we have between us.
00:48:41He glances over my shoulder.
00:48:42And what?
00:48:43Reherson gets a free pass for his control issues.
00:48:45Because last time I checked, Liam was moved into our squad specifically to shadow you.
00:48:50It's an excellent point, Liam is around because even the strongest rider can't watch their back
00:48:54from more than 30 and wanted pirates killing for them.
00:48:56And if I die, Zayden dies.
00:48:58What's your excuse?
00:48:59Dane tenses like a statue, only the muscle in his jaw ticking before he eventually leans forward
00:49:03and whispers, look, you don't know everything there is to know about Zayden, V.
00:49:06I have a higher security clearance due to my secret, and you need to be careful.
00:49:10Zayden has secrets, reasons to never forgive your mother, and I don't want him to use it
00:49:14to get his revenge.
00:49:15My hat is rise, there's a swivel of truth in what he's saying, but I don't have time to focus
00:49:19on the confusion that is Zayden right now.
00:49:21One screwed up relationship at a time.
00:49:23I narrow my gaze as Dane shuffles his feet again, a kernel of suspicion growing in my
00:49:27chest.
00:49:27Wait, did you keep begging me to leave besides because you didn't think I could survive here,
00:49:31or because you were trying to get me away from Zayden?
00:49:34I shake my head before he can answer.
00:49:36You know what, it's irrelevant.
00:49:38And I mean it, you only want to keep me safe.
00:49:40I appreciate that, but it stops now, Dane.
00:49:43Zayden is tied to me because of S-T-A-U-I-L.
00:49:45Nothing more, I do not need protection, and if I do, I've got two badass dragons.
00:49:49Can you respect that?
00:49:52He reaches up to top my cheek, and I hold his gaze, determined for him to understand
00:49:55the eye that starts valuing my choices or we are never going to fix our friendship.
00:49:59Alright, we, his eyes finger it decides as his mouth turns up into a half smile.
00:50:03How can I eye you with someone who has two badass dragons?
00:50:06A weight shifts in my chest, and suddenly I can breathe again.
00:50:09I toss him a cheaty grin.
00:50:10Exactly.
00:50:11I'm sorry for not asking for the memory.
00:50:13He drops his hand to my shoulder.
00:50:15You'd better get to class.
00:50:16And then he squeezes my shoulder gently before walking away.
00:50:19I let out a shaky breath and turn back to the door for cars class.
00:50:22The hallway is empty.
00:50:24I head into cars room, a massively long chamber with padded walls and no windows.
00:50:27The entire length is lit by chandeliers of mage lights bright enough to emulate daylight
00:50:31over three dozen students from third and fourth wing, who are seated in rows on the floor,
00:50:34evenly spaced to give one another the most room.
00:50:37Rhiannon and Liam meet me at the door and Professor Carr raises his bushy white brows at
00:50:40me when we approach where he's positioned at the front of the room, dominating the space
00:50:43by doing nothing more than standing there.
00:50:45The man isn't just imposing, he's intimidating as fuck.
00:50:48I swallow, remembering how he slapped Jeremiah's neck.
00:50:51Finally ready to join us, cadet Sorangil.
00:50:53There's no kindness in his eyes, merely shrewd, clinical observation.
00:50:57Yes, sir, I nod.
00:50:59He studies me like I'm about pinned to the wall in the biology room.
00:51:03Signed power.
00:51:04Not yet.
00:51:05I shake my head, keeping the whole time stopping ting to myself like Zayden suggested.
00:51:09You trust him more than you trust me.
00:51:10In this regard, Dane is right, and Gil drops my stomach.
00:51:14I see.
00:51:14He clucks his tongue, glancing over at me.
00:51:16You know your siblings were both gifted by extraordinary significant powers.
00:51:19Myra's ability to manifest a word around her in her squad has been an absolute asset to
00:51:23her wing, and she's been highly decorated for her valor behind enemy lines.
00:51:26Yes, Meera is an inspiration.
00:51:28I force a smile, more than aware of my sister's prowess on the battlefield.
00:51:32And Brennan, he looks away.
00:51:34Menders are so very rare, and to lose one so young was tragic.
00:51:37I think losing Brennan is a tragedy.
00:51:39I have my satchel up high on my shoulder, but the loss of his signet was a definite note
00:51:43to the wings.
00:51:44Hum, he blinks twice and turns his chilling gaze back on me.
00:51:47Well, it seems the soaring rail line is best, even in a rider as, well, delicate as you
00:51:51are.
00:51:52With Ted having chosen you, we'll expect nothing but a not shuttling signet from you.
00:51:55Take a seat.
00:51:56You can at least start with the lesser magics through your relic.
00:51:59He waves me off.
00:52:00No pressure.
00:52:01I matter as we walk you obviously empty places in the line with the rest of our squad.
00:52:05Don't stress.
00:52:06Rihanna says as we take our seats on the padded floor.
00:52:09That's what I was trying to remind you of earlier.
00:52:11You a tense rider.
00:52:13What do you mean?
00:52:13I set my satchel down next to me.
00:52:16You are all worried about the integrity of the wing because Ria Sin might have to visit
00:52:19to keep his dragon happy but, Violet, he's not the most powerful rider of our generation.
00:52:23You are.
00:52:23She holds my gaze just long enough to let me know she means it.
00:52:27My heart lurches into my throat.
00:52:28Now let's begin.
00:52:30Car calls out.
00:52:31Alipsis.
00:52:32December turns to January.
00:52:34Ground.
00:52:35Shield.
00:52:35Imagine closing your door.
00:52:36Build your wall.
00:52:37Sense who and what has access around you.
00:52:39Trace the bond to your dragon.
00:52:40Dragons in my case.
00:52:42Build a second entrance.
00:52:43A window.
00:52:43Into the archive of my power for Andrener's golden energy.
00:52:46Block those bonds as far as you can.
00:52:48Visualize.
00:52:49Imagine a knot of power.
00:52:51Not too intricate.
00:52:51No one's ready for the jet.
00:52:53In front of you.
00:52:53Then untangle it.
00:52:55Unlock the door.
00:52:56Visualize.
00:52:56Keep one foot firmly grounded at all times.
00:52:59You're useless unless you're connected to your power, and you're dangerous if you can't contain it.
00:53:03There is only the in-between that makes you a great rider.
00:53:06Envision your car like a hand, gripping that pencil and bringing it toward you.
00:53:09Pick it up.
00:53:10No.
00:53:11Not like that.
00:53:12Try again.
00:53:12No.
00:53:13Again.
00:53:14Visualize.
00:53:14It turns out that while my power might flow from my dragons, the ability to control it comes from my own exertion, and there are nights I fall into bed, plunging into sea before I even remove my boots.
00:53:42By the end of the second week in January, I'm not going up because that Zarin hasn't bothered to talk to me about that this bit exhausted, and that's without a signet power manifesting, draining my energy to control it.
00:53:52Redog can wield ice, which might be a more common signet, but it's impressive to see.
00:53:58So as metallurgy powers grow every day, Liam can see a single tree miles away.
00:54:02I guess I can stop time, but I'm not willing to drain and end up just for the sake of trying again, not when it took a more than a week of straight sleeping to recover.
00:54:09Without a signet, all I can wield are the lesser magics.
00:54:12I finally use an ink pen, lock a door, and open it.
00:54:15I'm a party trick.
00:54:16By the third week in January, I earn yet another dagger in a challenge against a guy in third wing, my second without weakening my opponent with coisons.
00:54:23It leaves me with a sore wrist, but my joints are intact.
00:54:26And in the fourth week, during the coldest weather I've ever experienced at Biscayle, I sneak out in the middle of the night to see the challenge board.
00:54:33Jack has finally been given the chance to end me on the mat tomorrow.
00:54:36He's going to kill me.
00:54:37That's all I can think as I dress through the morning, shearing all of my daggers in the most advantageous places.
00:54:42He's going to try.
00:54:43Ten is a curly.
00:54:44Any advice?
00:54:45I know Liam is waiting for us to make the library run before breakfast.
00:54:49Don't let him.
00:54:50I scoff.
00:54:51He makes it sound so damn simple.
00:54:53We're already on our way back from the library when I finally woke up the nerve to talk Liam about it.
00:54:57If I tell you something, will you report it to Zayden?
00:55:00His head whips in my direction as he pushes the cart over the bridge between the quadrants.
00:55:04Why would you think?
00:55:06Oh, come on.
00:55:07I roll my eyes.
00:55:08We both know you report just about everything I do.
00:55:10I'm not ignorant.
00:55:11Slope out of the windows, making a dull, chiming sound.
00:55:14He worries.
00:55:15I alleviate worries.
00:55:16He glances at me again before looking forward.
00:55:19I know it's not fair.
00:55:20I know it's a breach of your privacy.
00:55:22But it's nothing compared to what I owe him.
00:55:24Yeah, I bought that part.
00:55:25I hurry ahead and open the thick, hairy door into the citadel so he can pass through.
00:55:29Maybe I should rephrase my question.
00:55:31If I were to tell you something and ask you specifically to keep this one thing between the two of us, would you agree?
00:55:35Are we friends, or am I just your assignment?
00:55:38He pauses while I shut the door, and I can tell he's thinking by the way he drums his fingers on the handle of the cart.
00:55:43Would me keeping it to myself alter your safety in any way?
00:55:46No, I catch up to him and we start a long game plan that will eventually split into two tunnels, one who had the dormitory and the other two had commons.
00:55:52There's nothing you can do, and that's the point.
00:55:55We're friends, tell me, he grimaces, I'll keep it to myself.
00:55:59Jack Barlow is going to be allowed to challenge me today.
00:56:01He stops walking, so I do, too.
00:56:03How do you know that?
00:56:05And that is why I am asking you to keep it to yourself.
00:56:08I cringe, just, try to trust that I know.
00:56:10The instructors can't let that happen.
00:56:12He shakes his head, panic creeping into his eyes.
00:56:15They're going to, I shrug, forcing a tight smile.
00:56:17He's been asking since the first day, so it's odd like we didn't see this coming.
00:56:20Point is, Jack is going to challenge me today, and when he does, he can't step in, no matter what.
00:56:26His blue eyes widen.
00:56:27We, if we tell Ryerson, he can put a stop to it.
00:56:30No, I reach for his hand and lay mine on top of it.
00:56:33He can't, my stomach twists, but at least I am not looking like I did when I found out.
00:56:37There's only so much Satan can do to protect me both here and once we are on the front lines.
00:56:41You and I both know that if he stops this, there will be an uproar in the quadrant after what happened to Amber.
00:56:46And you expect me to stand there and watch whatever happens, happen?
00:56:49He asks, incredulous.
00:56:52Just like you have the last two challenges.
00:56:54I force another smile, don't worry, I'm going to use everything I have to my advantage.
00:56:58And everything I have is currently in a while tucked into the tiny pocket at my waist.
00:57:02I don't like this, he shakes his head.
00:57:04Yeah, well, that makes two of us.
00:57:07There's no flight field today, the dragons have deemed it too cold to fly over the last week, which means we are all headed to the sparring gym after formation.
00:57:13I don't bother with breakfast, but I pay close attention to every single thing on Jack's tray as I walk by, noting what's there, and what isn't.
00:57:20My heart pound the chaotic, nerves-eating rhythm by the time all 81 of the surviving first years gather in the gym.
00:57:26Professor Emetrio calls out the challenges one by one, assigning them to a mat.
00:57:30At least we all fight at once, which means not every rider will be watching.
00:57:34At least Satan isn't here, which means Liam kept his word.
00:57:36Mat 17, Jack Baloo from first swing versus, his eyebrows rise, and he takes a deep breath.
00:57:42While it's soaring gale.
00:57:44Thank god, Sianan's already across the floor, ready to challenge a woman from third wing, so she doesn't have to see how the blood rains from Liam's face.
00:57:50She shouldn't have to see any of this.
00:57:52So he's gone, too, over at mat 9.
00:57:54No fucking way, Redok matters, shaking his head.
00:57:57Finally, Jack throws his hands in the air like he's already worn.
00:58:00Let's do this, I roll my shoulders and head for the mat.
00:58:03Neither Liam nor Redok is called to the mat today, so they walk at my sides.
00:58:07Tell me I can break the promise, Liam begs, and the cleaning look in.
00:58:12His eyes tells me exactly what a shitty position I've put him in.
00:58:15The third years are off doing third year things, I tell him he's my two-stitch the mat.
00:58:19You can't get him here in time, but I know what it means to you to keep your word.
00:58:23Especially with him, bow ahead, he looks from me to Redok.
00:58:26God hell I cure me, you mean like I'm six inches taller and built like a bull.
00:58:29Redok gives him a thumbs up.
00:58:31Sure, I'll do my best, in the meantime, you'd better run.
00:58:33Liam's gaze finds mine, stay alive, working on it, and not just for my sake.
00:58:38I give him a smile, thanks for being a great shadow.
00:58:40His eyes widen a split second before he sprints out of the gym.
00:58:43Barlow and Sorengeal, Amaterio calls from the opposite side of the mat.
00:58:47Weapons, Jack bounces like a kid who's just been given a gift.
00:58:50Anything she can hold in those puny hands of hers.
00:58:52The look in his eyes sends a shiver of apprehension down my spine.
00:58:56I step onto the mat, and Jack does the same, walking forward until we are the center, facing each other.
00:59:00No wielding, Amaterio reminds us, tap out or knock out earns you a victory.
00:59:06Pretty sure everyone gathered around this mat knows that Jack isn't going for either of those options.
00:59:10If he gets his hands around my neck, I'm dead.
00:59:13That whole I die, I die, I die thing is really just a hypothesis, right?
00:59:16I ask, unshifting the daggers that are hardest to reach during a fight, the ones in my boots.
00:59:21One I'd rather not put to the test, ten growls.
00:59:24I stand, gripping the handles of my daggers, as Jack faces me with a single knife.
00:59:28You're kidding, right?
00:59:29Only one.
00:59:30I only need one, he grins with sickening excitement.
00:59:34Go for the billet, ten suggests.
00:59:36I don't have the energy to block you out right now, so I'm going to need you to be quiet for a few minutes here.
00:59:41And answering growl is the only response I get.
00:59:44Keep it clean, Amaterio wants.
00:59:45Go.
00:59:46My heart drunks so loudly, I can hear it in my ears as we begin to circle each other.
00:59:51Offense, now, strike first, ten snaps.
00:59:54Not helping.
00:59:55Jack lunges, striking out with his knife, and I slice my dagger across the back of his hand, drawing first blood.
01:00:01Shit, he jumps back, his cheeks glotching.
01:00:04That's what I want, but I need to win this match, for him to get so angry that he acts without thinking and makes a mistake.
01:00:09He dances forward and then kicks out, aiming for my midsection, and I stumble back, narrowly avoiding the blow.
01:00:14Bet you wish you could throw that blade, don't you?
01:00:17He taunts, knowing I won't break a rule when it can hurt someone in the matches going on around us.
01:00:22Bet you wish I didn't know what it feels like to dig out one of my knives, don't you?
01:00:26I retort.
01:00:27His neck press into a thin line before he comes at me in a series of punches and swipes with his dagger.
01:00:31I can't deflect, he's too strong for me, as evidence by the dagger he easily kicks out of my hand,
01:00:35so I use my speed, digging and diving while getting in another cut, this one along his form.
01:00:40Damn it, he rages, boosting to follow as I come around his back.
01:00:43He catches me off guard, locking onto my arm and flipping me over his back to the mat.
01:00:48I take the blow on my shoulder and wins, but there's no sound of tearing or snapping.
01:00:52Tanking Imogen will be my first order of business if I make it.
01:00:56Out of this.
01:00:58Keeping my arm locked, Jack thrusts his knife straight at my chest,
01:01:00but it's deflected by my vest, skimming along my ribs to lodge in the mat.
01:01:04He's using death blows.
01:01:06Ridhock shouts, that's not allowed.
01:01:08Pull it back, Barlow.
01:01:09Amateru billows.
01:01:10What do you think, Soaring dear?
01:01:12Jack whispers in my ear, holding me a mobile with my arm behind my back.
01:01:16Admit it, you and I both knew it would be like this between us.
01:01:19Quick, embarrassingly easy, fatal, your precious wing litter isn't here to save you.
01:01:23No, but Zayden will suffer, if not worse if Jack achieves his goal.
01:01:27The thought spurs me to action.
01:01:28Ignoring the pain, I throw my weight into a roll,
01:01:30subluxating my shoulder but freeing myself from his grip when he gets tangled in my legs.
01:01:35Then I kick him straight in the balls.
01:01:37He hits his knees as I gain my feet, clutching himself as his mouth opens in a silent scream.
01:01:42Tap out, I order, picking up the dagger I dropped.
01:01:44I can cut you open at any second.
01:01:46Both you and I know if this were real life, you'd be done.
01:01:49If this were real life, I would have killed you the second you stepped onto the mat,
01:01:53he sees through gritted teeth.
01:01:54Tap out.
01:01:56Fuck off, he throws his dagger.
01:01:58I throw up my hand to block, but it lodges in my left fucking forearm.
01:02:01Blood streams and pain sears the nerves along my arm, erupting with alarming poignancy,
01:02:05but I know better than to remove it.
01:02:06Right now, it's holding the drool this shit as it can.
01:02:09No throwing, or material shots from the sidelines,
01:02:12but Jack is already moving, barreling toward me with a series of kicks and punches that I am not ready for.
01:02:16His fist slams into my cheek, and I feel the skin split.
01:02:19His knee forces the air from my body when he rams it into my stomach.
01:02:23But I stay on my feet until his hands clasp my face.
01:02:25Agony fills every cell in my body as violent,
01:02:28vibrating energy rips through me with an intensity that makes it feel like he's giving ligament from bone, muscle from tendon.
01:02:34I scream as I am shaken by an internal force I don't understand,
01:02:37as though he's forcing his own power into my body,
01:02:39shocking me with a thousand stings of vibrating energy.
01:02:42Now, if I don't do it now, he'll kill me.
01:02:44My vision is already darkening at the edges.
01:02:46I reach a trembling hand into the pocket of my letters and thumb open the stopper on the vial.
01:02:50His sadistic being in a red rim around his eyes are all I can see as he forces more and more power into my body,
01:02:56but his hands are occupied and he's too obsessed with his victory to hear that I've stopped screaming,
01:03:00to see that I'm moving.
01:03:01He's using his powers,
01:03:03Riddock roars,
01:03:03and from the corner of my decreasing vision,
01:03:05I see movement on both sides.
01:03:07I shove the vial against Jack's smile so hard,
01:03:09I feel one of his teeth break.
01:03:11Hands wait for us both,
01:03:12and I hear Riddock no matter who cry out,
01:03:14jerking their hands away after contact.
01:03:16Whatever Jack is doing is transferring from me to them by touch.
01:03:19My teeth rattle as the pain consumes me,
01:03:21my body fighting to pass out,
01:03:23escape the unbearable torture,
01:03:24but I refuse to succumb to the darkness until Jack wheezes.
01:03:27His eyes fly impossibly wide,
01:03:29and he drops his hands,
01:03:30touching his own neck as his airway closes.
01:03:32My knees give way,
01:03:33my body still shuddering as I hit the mat,
01:03:35but so does Jack,
01:03:36heaving and crowing at his neck as his face turns purple.
01:03:39Riddock's face is in mine within seconds.
01:03:41Breathe,
01:03:41Soaringir,
01:03:42just breathe.
01:03:43What the hell is wrong with him?
01:03:45Someone asks his Jack rides.
01:03:46Oranges,
01:03:47I whisper to Riddock as my body finally gives out.
01:03:49He's allergic to oranges.
01:03:51I fall into nothingness.
01:03:52When I wake,
01:03:53I'm not on the mat,
01:03:54and I can tell by the windows of the heli-quadrant infirmary
01:03:56that it's why you have to be sure that Violet enters the scribe quadrant.
01:03:59She'll never be able to take a life.
01:04:01Page 70,
01:04:02The Book of Brennan
01:04:03Chapter 24
01:04:04I move to scoot up the bed so I can sit,
01:04:07but the pain in my arm reminds me that there was a dagger in it a couple of hours ago.
01:04:11Now it's bandaged.
01:04:12How many stitches?
01:04:1311 on one side and 19 on the other.
01:04:16He arches a dark brow and leans forward,
01:04:17bracing his elbows on his knees.
01:04:19You're turned oranges into a weapon,
01:04:21violence.
01:04:22I wiggle to a sitting position and shrug.
01:04:24I work with what I had,
01:04:25seeing as it kept you alive,
01:04:26kept us alive,
01:04:27I can't really eye you,
01:04:28and I'm not going to ask how it is you always know who you'll end up challenging.
01:04:31There's definite anger in that gaze but a touch of relief, too.
01:04:34Telling Riddock loud or material to get him here in time.
01:04:36Unfortunately,
01:04:37he's five beds down from you,
01:04:39and he'll live,
01:04:39unlike the second year or however.
01:04:41You could have killed him and saved us all a lot of drama.
01:04:44I didn't want to kill him.
01:04:45I roll my shoulder,
01:04:46testing it,
01:04:47so,
01:04:48but not dislocated.
01:04:49My face is tender,
01:04:50too,
01:04:50I just wanted him to stop killing me.
01:04:52You should have told me.
01:04:54The accusation rips from his lips in a snarl.
01:04:56And you could have done nothing about it besides make me look weak.
01:04:59I narrow my eyes at him,
01:05:01and you haven't exactly been around to talk about anything in weeks.
01:05:04If I didn't know better,
01:05:05I think that this scared you.
01:05:07Shit,
01:05:07I didn't mean to say that.
01:05:09That's not up for discussion.
01:05:10Something flashes in his eyes and is quickly replaced by a cool mask of indifference.
01:05:14Seriously,
01:05:15I should know better,
01:05:16considering he's avoided it this long.
01:05:18It was a mistake.
01:05:19You and I are going to be stationed together for the rest of our lives,
01:05:21never able to escape the other.
01:05:23Getting involved,
01:05:23even on a physical level,
01:05:25is a colossal blunder.
01:05:26No point talking about it.
01:05:28I barely keep from glitching at my chest to see if all my audience are where they're supposed to be,
01:05:32since it feels like he just evisorated me with four sentences.
01:05:35But he had been just as into it as I was.
01:05:37I was there,
01:05:37and there was no mistaking that kind of enthusiasm.
01:05:40But maybe it was the shurrum.
01:05:42But if I want to talk about it,
01:05:44then feel free,
01:05:45but it doesn't mean I have to be a part of the conversation.
01:05:47We are both allowed our boundaries,
01:05:49and this is one of mine.
01:05:50The finality in his tone makes my stomach riddle.
01:05:52I'll agree that keeping my distance didn't work out so well,
01:05:55and if today's little stunt was about getting my attention,
01:05:57then congratulations.
01:05:58It's yours.
01:06:00I don't know what you are talking about.
01:06:01I swing my feet to the side of the bed.
01:06:03I need my boots in to get the hell out of here
01:06:05before I make an even bigger fool of myself.
01:06:08Apparently I can't trust Liam to report deadly situations
01:06:10or Rhiannon to train you on the mat,
01:06:12seeing how easily Balu had your pinned,
01:06:13so as of this moment,
01:06:14I'm taking over.
01:06:15Taking over what,
01:06:17my eye is narrow.
01:06:18Everything when it comes to you.
01:06:19Alexis.
01:06:20The next day,
01:06:22during what should be our flight hours if not for the howling,
01:06:24Sub Zero wins outside,
01:06:26Zayden has me on the mat.
01:06:27Fortunately,
01:06:28he has his shirt on,
01:06:29so I am not distracted by what I know is under it.
01:06:31No,
01:06:32he is not lonely.
01:06:32Wearing fighting letters and boots,
01:06:35he is trapped in the nines with what looks to be a dozen different daggers in a dozen different sheets.
01:06:39Is it absolutely toxic that I am attracted to this look on him?
01:06:42Probably,
01:06:43but one look,
01:06:43and my temperature rises.
01:06:45Leave your blades off the mat,
01:06:47he instructs,
01:06:47and nearly it doesn't right his glance out away from other mats.
01:06:51At least Liam has been given the time to go train himself a couple of mats over against Dane,
01:06:54or first.
01:06:55Most of the squads are in here,
01:06:57making use of the unexpected free time,
01:06:58so thankfully everyone is busy training instead of watching us.
01:07:02But you are armed,
01:07:03I glance pointedly to his sheets.
01:07:05You either trust me or you don't.
01:07:06He tilts his head to the side slightly,
01:07:08exposing more of the rebellion relic curving up around his neck.
01:07:11The same relic I caressed with my hand
01:07:12while he had me against the foundation wall more than a month ago.
01:07:16No,
01:07:16not thinking about that.
01:07:17But my body has no problem remembering.
01:07:20I bow out my breath in a long sigh and step to the edge of the mat,
01:07:23unsheathing every dagger I own and the ones I've worn,
01:07:25then laying them on the floor.
01:07:27I am unarmed,
01:07:27happy now,
01:07:28I turn to face him,
01:07:29putting my arms out.
01:07:30My long sleeve covers the bandage on my arm,
01:07:32but the trope is insistent.
01:07:33Though he probably could have waited a couple of days for my arm to heal up
01:07:36before doing this.
01:07:37The stitches pull,
01:07:38but I've had worse.
01:07:40No,
01:07:40he shakes his head,
01:07:41unsheathing one of his daggers and walking forward.
01:07:43The enemy doesn't give a shit if you're wounded.
01:07:45They'll use it to their advantage.
01:07:47If you don't know how to fight in pain,
01:07:48then you'll get us both killed.
01:07:50Fine,
01:07:51I shift my body weight in annoyance.
01:07:53Little does he know,
01:07:53I'm almost always in pain.
01:07:55It's pretty much my comfort zone.
01:07:57That's actually a...
01:07:58Good point,
01:07:59so I'll let you have it.
01:08:00Thank you for being so gracious.
01:08:02He smirks,
01:08:03and I ignore the immediate surge of warm flow in my belly.
01:08:05He flips his palm upward,
01:08:06showing me the dagger with an oddly short blade.
01:08:09The problem isn't necessarily your fighting style.
01:08:11You're fast,
01:08:12and you've become pretty damn formidable since Obis.
01:08:14The problem is you're using daggers that are too easy to pluck out of your hands.
01:08:17You need weaponry design for your body type.
01:08:20At least he didn't see weaknesses.
01:08:21I study the blade in his hand.
01:08:24It's beautiful,
01:08:25with the solid black coat engraved with pyrrish knots,
01:08:27old, mythical runes of intricate swirls and ties.
01:08:29The blade itself is clearly hooned to lethal perfection.
01:08:32It's spectacular.
01:08:33It's yours.
01:08:34My head snaps out,
01:08:35but there's no lie in his onyx eyes.
01:08:37I had it made for you.
01:08:38His lips curve slightly.
01:08:40What?
01:08:40My mouth opens,
01:08:41and my chest tightens.
01:08:42He took the time to have it made.
01:08:44Shit,
01:08:44that gives me feelings I really don't want to have.
01:08:46Soft, confusing feelings.
01:08:48You heard me.
01:08:49Take it.
01:08:50Swallowing the illogical lum in my throat,
01:08:52I take the blade from him.
01:08:53It feels solid in my palm,
01:08:54but is infinitely lighter than my other daggers.
01:08:57There's no strain on my wrist,
01:08:58and my fingers comfortably wrap around the hill,
01:09:00making it much more secure than the knives I've left on the floor.
01:09:03Who made it?
01:09:04I know someone.
01:09:05In the quadrant,
01:09:06my eyebrows shoot up.
01:09:08You'd be surprised how resourceful you get after three years here.
01:09:10A smoke comes at the corner of his mouth,
01:09:12and I openly stare before remembering where we are.
01:09:15It's incredible.
01:09:16I shake my head and hand it back to him.
01:09:18Would you?
01:09:19No,
01:09:19I can't take it.
01:09:20The only weapons we're allowed to have are the ones we earn.
01:09:23Only challenges or weapons qualifications are acceptable.
01:09:25There's a crossbow I have my eye on that I'm not quite expert at yet.
01:09:29Exactly,
01:09:30he smiles for a flash of a second before moving with a speed I've never dreamed possible.
01:09:33He's even faster than Imogen as he sweeps my feet from under me with one strike,
01:09:37taking me to the mat in a single move.
01:09:39The ease with the she has me on my back is simultaneously appalling and
01:09:42ridiculously hot, especially with the weight of his hips sitted between my thighs.
01:09:45It takes all my willpower not to reach up and brush the stray log of hair from his forehead.
01:09:49It was a mistake.
01:09:51Well,
01:09:51if that memory doesn't cool me right off.
01:09:53And what point are you making with this little move?
01:09:55I ask,
01:09:56well aware that he's done it all without knocking the wind out of me.
01:09:59There are a dozen of these tigers trapped to my body, so start disarming me.
01:10:03He lifts a sardonic brow.
01:10:04Unless you don't know how to handle an opponent on top of you,
01:10:07and if so, that's a whole other issue.
01:10:09I know how to handle you on top of me, I challenge quietly.
01:10:13He lowers his mouth to my ear.
01:10:14You won't like what happens if you push me.
01:10:17Or maybe I will.
01:10:18I turn just enough that my lips brush the shell of his ear.
01:10:21He jerks up, and the heat in his gaze makes me all too aware of everywhere our bodies connect.
01:10:25Disarm me before I test the theory in front of everyone in this gym.
01:10:29Interesting, I didn't take you for an exhibitionist.
01:10:32Keep pushing, and I guess you'll find out.
01:10:34His gaze drops through my mouth.
01:10:35I thought he said kissing me was a mistake.
01:10:37I don't care if the entire quadrant is watching if that means he'll kiss me again.
01:10:41It was, he smirks.
01:10:42I'm just teaching you that blades aren't the only way to disarm an opponent.
01:10:45Tell me, violence, I had a sum.
01:10:48Arrogant ass.
01:10:49I scoff and start picking knives from their shades, flinging them across the mat while
01:10:52he watches with impatient amusement.
01:10:54Then I lock my legs around his hips and force a roll to the left, putting Zayden on his back.
01:10:59Willingly, of course, there's no way I'm kneeling on top of him if he doesn't want it that way,
01:11:02but I throw a form against his collarbone with the pretense of pinning him anyway and proceed
01:11:06to steal the other daggers he has sheathed along his side.
01:11:09And lastly, I say with a smile, leaning forward, our hated bodies nearly flush his eyes
01:11:13that the dagger right out of his hand.
01:11:15Thank you, the final blade secure, Zayden throws his palms to the mat and shoves with
01:11:18the natural strength, arching a straight back until my spine kisses the mat again.
01:11:22That's, I second a breath, the move shocking me to my toes and lodging him firmly between my thighs.
01:11:27It takes everything I have not to arch up against him and see if he really thinks that this was a mistake.
01:11:31Not fair to use your powers on the mat. Magical, sexual, whatever, it's all unfair.
01:11:36That's the other thing, he jumps to his feet and offers his hand.
01:11:39I take it, my head rushing as I stand.
01:11:41Not now, do not get dizzy now.
01:11:43A material doesn't allow powers in order to level the playing field when it comes to challenges.
01:11:47But out there, the field is anything but level, and you need to learn to use whatever you've bought.
01:11:52I can't do much beside ground, shield, and move a piece of parchment.
01:11:56I shield the new dagger, then collect the others and do the same.
01:11:59They really are lovely, all marked with different runes.
01:12:01It's a shame there are so many parts of Tirish culture that will last centuries ago
01:12:04during the unification, including most runes.
01:12:07I don't even know what they all mean.
01:12:09Well, looks like we are going to have to work on that, too.
01:12:12He sighs and takes up a fighting stance.
01:12:14Now, earn your nickname and try your best, too.
01:12:16Kill me.
01:12:17Alexis.
01:12:18February flies by in a blur of exhaustion.
01:12:21Zarin takes every unscheduled moment of my day, and Dane's gritted his teeth more than once when
01:12:24the ringleader has pulled me out of squad training because he has something infinitely more important
01:12:28for me to do.
01:12:29Which usually ends with me getting my ass handed to me repeatedly on the mat.
01:12:33But I have to say, he doesn't baby me like Dane, and he doesn't take it easy on me like Rhiannon does.
01:12:38He pushes me to my physical limit every session but never further, usually leaving me a boneless,
01:12:42sweaty heap on the sparring gym floor, gusting for breath.
01:12:45That's usually when Imogen reminds me that I'm needed in the weight room.
01:12:49I hate them both, kind of.
01:12:51It's hard to argue with the results when I am learning to take down the strongest fighter in
01:12:54the quadrant.
01:12:55I have yet to beat him, but I'm alright with that.
01:12:57It means he doesn't let me win.
01:12:59He also doesn't this way again, even when I push.
01:13:02March arrives with uncountable feet of snow that have to be shoveled before morning formation every day.
01:13:07And the moment the relic burns in my back and I feel like I might crawl out of my own skin if the
01:13:10power building within me doesn't release reminds me that I still don't have a signal.
01:13:14It's already almost been three months.
01:13:16Every morning I wake up wondering if today is the day I'll spontaneously combust.
01:13:20Shadow Gunter, Captain Fitzgerald reads from the Death Road,
01:13:23his gloved hand slipping on the frozen parchment.
01:13:25It's warmer this week, but not by much.
01:13:28And Mush and Vady, we commend their souls to Malik.
01:13:31Vady, I asked Rhiannon, my eyebrows shooting up his formation ends.
01:13:34I didn't know him well, since he was in second wing, but the name is still a shock,
01:13:38considering he was rumored to be one of the best among us.
01:13:41You didn't hear, she pulls her fur-lined croak closer around her neck.
01:13:44His signet manifested in the middle of Karl's class yesterday, and he burst into flames.
01:13:48He, burned himself to death.
01:13:50She nods, Tara Sedka thinks he was supposed to be able to wheel fire,
01:13:53but it just overwhelmed him in that first Russian.
01:13:56He went up like a torch, the dog adds.
01:13:58Kind of makes you glad your signet's still hiding, huh?
01:14:01Hiding is one way to put it.
01:14:02Other than the ability I am not supposed to even whisper about,
01:14:05I am proving to be the one thing my mother hates, average.
01:14:07And it's not as though I can go to ten or andana for help.
01:14:10The signet is all about me, and I am apparently not delivering,
01:14:13as the stinging relic on my back constantly reminds me.
01:14:16There's a tiny, secret part of me that hopes my signet hasn't manifested yet
01:14:19because it's different than the others, not only useful but, meaningful, like Brennan's was.
01:14:24Definitely makes me want to skip class today, Rhiannon mutters,
01:14:26blowing on her hands to keep them warm.
01:14:28No skipping class, Dane admonishes, winning us with a stare.
01:14:32We are weeks away from the squad battle and we need every single one of you at your best to win.
01:14:36Imogen snorts, come on, Atos, I think we all know second ring has the squad intel section
01:14:41that's going to smoke the rest of us.
01:14:42Have you ever seen them sprint up the gauntlet?
01:14:44Pretty sure they've been out there even though it's still covered in ice.
01:14:47We are going to win, Sienna, our executive officer,
01:14:50became through the decisive nod.
01:14:51Sorengeil here might slow us down on the gauntlet, she.
01:14:54Ring to her hawkish nose, and probably in the wheeling department, too, at the rate she's advancing.
01:15:00Gee, thanks, I fold my arms across my chest.
01:15:03Bet I can shoot better than all of them combined.
01:15:06But Rhiannon still is more than make up for that, Sienna continues.
01:15:09And we all know Liam and Heaton are both going to decimate on the mat for the challenge competition.
01:15:13That only leaves slight maneuvers in whatever task the wingladers come up with to judge this year.
01:15:18Oh, is that all? Man, I thought it was going to be hard.
01:15:21The sarcasm rolling off Redorc is thick enough to earn him a glare from Dane.
01:15:25We are down to 10 of you, Dane says, glancing over our group.
01:15:2812 of us in total, which puts us at a slight disadvantage against a couple other squads,
01:15:32but I think we'll manage.
01:15:34We lost two of the new additions last week when the smaller one segment manifested in battle brief
01:15:38and they both froze to death in seconds, nearly taking out Redorc with the exposure, too.
01:15:42He was treated for frostbite but didn't have any permanent damage.
01:15:45Now Nadine and Liam are the only ones left from the batch we acquired after threshing.
01:15:49But in order to manage, I need you guys to get to class.
01:15:52He lifts his brows at me, especially you, a signet would be great, you know,
01:15:56if you can maybe make that happen.
01:15:57It's as if he can't decide how to treat me lady,
01:15:59is the first year who's struggling but still here or the girl he grew up with.
01:16:03I hate how unsettled everything feels between us, all wrongy sticky,
01:16:06like putting on clothes before you can dry after a bath, but it's still Dane.
01:16:09At least he's finally being supportive.
01:16:11She's going to miss first class today, Zayrin interrupts, appearing behind Sawyer,
01:16:15who hurries to clear a path.
01:16:17No I am not.
01:16:18I shake my head and ignore the quick jump of my pulse at the sight of him.
01:16:22She needs to go, Dane argues, then grits his teeth.
01:16:25I mean, unless the wing has more pressing matters for cadets or angel,
01:16:28but I am his best friend developing her building skills.
01:16:31I think we both know she's not going to manifest a signet in that room.
01:16:34She would have already if that was the key.
01:16:35I wouldn't wish to look Zayrin levels Dane with on my worst enemy. It's not anger or even indignation.
01:16:40No, he looks, annoyed, as if Dane's complaints are entirely beneath him,
01:16:44which, according to our chain of command, they are.
01:16:46And yes, the wing has no pressing matters for her.
01:16:49Sir, I'm just not comfortable with her going a day without at least practicing her
01:16:53building, and as her sport leader.
01:16:55He doesn't know that Zayrin's been giving me extra building sessions while we spar.
01:16:59For Dunia's sake, Zayrin sighs, invoking the goddess of war.
01:17:02He reaches into the pocket of his cloak and takes out a pocket watch, holding it in his
01:17:05outstretched palm.
01:17:06Pick it up, sorry Neil.
01:17:08I glance at the two men and wish they'd just sort their shit out between themselves,
01:17:10but there's about a zero percent chance of that happening.
01:17:13For the sake of expediency, I throw my mental feet into the floor of the archives.
01:17:17Whiteheart power flows around me, raising goosebumps on my arms and lifting the hair at the back of my neck.
01:17:22Raising my right hand, I envision that power twining between my fingers,
01:17:25and little shocks blossom along my skin as I give form to the energy,
01:17:28making it a hand of its own as I ask it to stretch the few feet that separate me from Zayrin.
01:17:33There's an abrupt haul, as though my tendrils of raw magic hit a wall,
01:17:36but then it gives, and I push forward, keeping tight control of the blazing hand.
01:17:39There's a crackle in my head, like the dying embers of fire, as my power brushes Zayrin's hand,
01:17:44but I close my mental fist around the pocket watch and then pull.
01:17:47It's fucking heavy.
01:17:48You got this, Leanne urges.
01:17:50Let her concentrate, soya chides.
01:17:52The watch permits for the ground, but I snap my hand back, yanking on my power as though it's a rope,
01:17:57and the watch flies toward me.
01:17:58I catch it with my left hand before it can smack me in the face.
01:18:02Rihanna and Riddle clap.
01:18:04Zayrin walks forward and puts the watch from my fingers, dropping it into his cloak.
01:18:07See, she's practiced.
01:18:09Now, we have things to do.
01:18:10He puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me out of the crowd.
01:18:14Where are we going?
01:18:15I load the way my body demands I lean back into his touch, but I miss it the second it's gone.
01:18:19I'm assuming you're not wearing fly cleathers under that cloak.
01:18:22He opens the door to the dormitory for me, and I walk inside.
01:18:25The motion is so easy that I know it's not only practiced by second nature,
01:18:28which is it compared to odds with, well, everything I've come to know about him.
01:18:32I cause, looking at him like we are meeting for the first time.
01:18:35What?
01:18:35He asks, closing the door behind us and shutting out the blistering gold.
01:18:39You open the door for me.
01:18:41Old habits die hard.
01:18:42He shudds, my father taught me that, his voice dies abruptly, and his gaze falls away,
01:18:46every muscle in his body locking as though he's preparing for an attack.
01:18:50My heart takes at the look that crosses his face, recognizing it well.
01:18:53Grief.
01:18:54Don't you think it's a little code for flying?
01:18:56I ask, changing the subject in an attempt to help.
01:18:58The pain in his eyes is the kind that never dies,
01:19:00the kind that rises like an unpredictable tide and floods the shoreline without mercy.
01:19:04He blinks, and it's gone.
01:19:06I'll wait here.
01:19:07I nod in hurry to change into the fur line where there's where I shoot for Winterfly.
01:19:11He has that unreadable mask on when I return,
01:19:13and I know there won't be any more doors held on my account today.
01:19:15We walk out across the empty encode carous cadets three of the classes.
01:19:20You didn't answer me.
01:19:21About what, he keeps his eyes on the gate to the flight field path,
01:19:24and I have to damn near scary to keep up with this ride.
01:19:27About it being code for flight.
01:19:29Third years have flight field this afternoon.
01:19:31Kari and the other professors are just taking it easy on your guys,
01:19:33since the squad battle is coming up and they know you need the practice in wielding.
01:19:36He pushes open the gate, and I hurry after him.
01:19:39But I don't need the practice.
01:19:41My voice echoes in the tunnel.
01:19:42Winning the squad battle is nothing in the scheme of keeping you alive.
01:19:45You'll be on the front lines before the rest of them come next year.
01:19:48The mage lights play off the harsh angles of his face,
01:19:50lasting sinister shadows as we pass each one.
01:19:53Is that what's going to happen next year?
01:19:55I ask as we come out the other side, the slow whiting out my vision momentarily.
01:19:58It's piled high on each side of the path, the result of this heavy winter.
01:20:02I'm going to the front lines.
01:20:04Inevitably, there's no telling how long S.J.U.I.L. and 10 will tolerate being separated.
01:20:08My best guess is that we'll both have to sacrifice to keep them happy.
01:20:11He's clearly not so happy about it himself, but I can't blame him.
01:20:15After three years in the quadrant, I'd want to get the hell out, too.
01:20:18My stomach sinks as I realize I'll be in his shoes when I graduate as well,
01:20:21with no real control on how all dragons bond decates my future posts.
01:20:25I nod, not knowing what else to say, and we walk with the bonnet in companionable silence.
01:20:30Second wing, I nod, watching the sport from tail section slip in.
01:20:34Slide their way across the bonnet.
01:20:36You sure you don't want your own sports out here practicing?
01:20:38A corner of his mouth lifts, and that inhuman facade of his cracks.
01:20:42When I was a first year, I thought winning was a pinnacle, too.
01:20:45But once you are in your third year, and you see the things that we do, his toe flexes.
01:20:49Let's just say that the games are a lot more lethal.
01:20:52We head toward the staircase that leads to a fly field, but there's already a crew coming down,
01:20:56so I move back to let them descend first.
01:20:58My heart launches into my throat as they come closer, and I snap my frame to an attention stance,
01:21:02my spine stiffening. It's common than pin-checking pinnators.
01:21:06Reaching the ground first, Dane's dad offers me a smile.
01:21:08At ease, you are looking well, violet.
01:21:11Nice light lines, he says, gesturing to the ones on his own cheekbones that come from flight bubbles.
01:21:15You must be getting a lot of hair time.
01:21:18Thank you, sir, I am.
01:21:19I relax my posture and can't help but return the favor, but my lips are tight.
01:21:23Dane is doing well, too. He's my sport leader this year.
01:21:26He's told me, he grins, his brown eyes just as warm as Dane's.
01:21:29Meera asked about you while we were touring the Southern Wing last month.
01:21:32Don't worry, you'll get your letter privileges in second year,
01:21:35and then you can keep in touch more often. I'm sure you miss her.
01:21:38Every day, I nod, pushing past the smell of emotion the admission brings.
01:21:42It's so much easier to pretend there's nothing outside the walls than to wallow in how much I miss my sister.
01:21:47Zayden stiffens at my side as mom steps out of the stable.
01:21:50Oh shit, mom, I blurred, and her head turns, her eyes meeting mine.
01:21:54It's been more than five months since I've seen her,
01:21:56and even though I want to be as composed as she is, as compartmentalize, I just can't.
01:22:00I'm not built like she is, like Meera is. I'm my father's daughter.
01:22:04Her assessing gear sweeps over me with all the familiarity of the commanding general in a bizarre cadet,
01:22:08and there's no warmth in her expression as she finishes her perusal.
01:22:11I hear you are having trouble building.
01:22:13I blink and step backward, as though physical distance is going to shelter me from the icy rebuke.
01:22:17I have the best shields in my ear.
01:22:19For the first time, I'm actually glad I haven't manifested a signet, haven't given her something to brag about.
01:22:24Will the dragon like can? I would certainly hope so.
01:22:27She cocks an eyebrow, if not, all of that incredible, enviable power will have been,
01:22:31her sigh is a puff of steam in the air.
01:22:32Spondent, I try my best to swallow the growing knot in my throat.
01:22:36Yes, general, you have been the topic of some conversation, though.
01:22:39Her gaze skims the top of my head, and I know she's looking at the silver tip braid she thinks marks me as cursed,
01:22:43the hair she told me I was better off cutting.
01:22:46Oh, she actually talks about me.
01:22:48We're all wondering what powers, if any, you're wielding from the golden dragon.
01:22:52Her lips form a smile, I'm sure she thinks it's soft, but I know her too will to fulfill it.
01:22:56No, the single word from ten rumbles through my entire body.
01:22:59Do not speak of it.
01:23:01Nothing yet, I drag my tongue over my chapped low lip.
01:23:04Winter is hell on the skin during flight.
01:23:05And Anna told me that for the tales are known for being unable to channel thought to their rider.
01:23:09Only they're direct gifts, but I'm not about to say that.
01:23:12It's why they don't burn often.
01:23:14However, they instead chimes in.
01:23:16We were actually hoping that you might ask a dragon to allow us to study her.
01:23:19For purely academic purposes, of course.
01:23:22My stomach's hours.
01:23:23The group of them would cope in prod and enough of gods know how long to ease their academic
01:23:26curiosity, and they might stumble onto the untapped power of young dragons.
01:23:31No thank you, unfortunately, I don't see her being comfortable with that.
01:23:35She's pretty private, even with me.
01:23:37Pretty, Colonel A2 says.
01:23:38We've had the scribes on it since threshing, and the only reference they can find in the archives about
01:23:42the power of the tales is hundreds of years old, which is funny because I remember your
01:23:46father doing a bit of research about the second role in uprising, and he mentioned something
01:23:49about the details, but we can't seem to find the tome.
01:23:52He scratches his forehead.
01:23:54Mom looks at me with expectation, as though to ask me without actually asking.
01:23:58I don't believe he finished his research on that particular historical event before
01:24:01he died, Colonel A2.
01:24:02I couldn't even tell you where his notes are.
01:24:04The words are as true as I can make them.
01:24:06I know exactly where his notes are, in one location he spent the majority of his after hours time.
01:24:11But there's something about Ten's warning that makes me simply unable to tell them.
01:24:14Too bad.
01:24:15Mom forces another smile.
01:24:17Glad to see you are alive, but it's orangale.
01:24:19Her gaze flashes sideways and instantly hardens to steal,
01:24:21even if the company you're forced to keep is more than questionable.
01:24:25Shit, shit, shit.
01:24:26I can't step in front of Zayden and make him look weak.
01:24:29I can't even glance his way without telling my mother where my allegiance lies, without telling myself.
01:24:34I always felt that we resolved any of those questions here as a bow, Zayden says,
01:24:37his voice low, but he's gone trot as a boasting next to me.
01:24:41Hum, Mom turns toward the city to tell him clear dismissal.
01:24:43Do see if you can master some kind of signet, but it's orangale.
01:24:46You have a legacy to live up to.
01:24:48Yes, General, the informal words cost more than I'm prepared to.
01:24:52Admit, ripping into the conference it's taken me nearly 8 months to build with talent sharp precision.
01:24:57Good to see you, Violet.
01:24:59Dane's dad offers me a sympathetic smile, and Pinchak outright ignores us, running to catch up with Mom.
01:25:04I don't say a word to Zayden before I climb the stairs,
01:25:06it's stop making me only angry until I'm a ball of rage by the time I reach the top of the cliffside.
01:25:11You didn't tell her about how you got out of the attack in your bedroom, he says.
01:25:15It's a statement, not a question, and I'm not talking about me showing up.
01:25:19I know exactly what he's talking about.
01:25:21I don't ever see her, and you told me not to tell anyone.
01:25:24Didn't realize it was quite like that between you, Zayden says, his tone surprisingly soft as
01:25:29we start down the box canyon toward the flight field.
01:25:32Oh, that's nothing, I toss out, intentionally making my tone as flippant as possible.
01:25:36She spent almost an entire year ignoring me when dad died.
01:25:39A self-deprecating laugh slips past my lips, which was almost as wholesome as the years she spent barely
01:25:43tolerating my existence because I wasn't perfect like Ben or a warrior like Mira.
01:25:47I shouldn't be saying these things.
01:25:49These are the thoughts families keep behind their dolls so they can wear their polished,
01:25:52perfect reputations like armor when in public.
01:25:55She doesn't know you very well, then, Zayden remarks, keeping pace with my furious strides.
01:25:59I scoff, or she sees right through me.
01:26:01Problem is, I'm never quite sure which it is.
01:26:04I'm too busy trying to live up to whatever impossible standard she sits to ask myself if
01:26:07they're even standards I give a shit about.
01:26:09My narrowed gaze swings to him, and what was it about anyway, saying that your resolve questions
01:26:13here is a bow, just reminding her that I paid the price for my loyalty.
01:26:17His brow furrows, but he stares ahead of us.
01:26:20Paid what price?
01:26:21The question slips out before I can stop my foolish tongue.
01:26:23I can't help but remember what Dane said, that Zayden has reasons to never forgive my mother.
01:26:28Boundaries, violence, his head lowers through the span of a heartbeat,
01:26:31and when it rises, he is wearing that polished give no futz mask he is so good at donning.
01:26:35Lucky for us, the strain of the movement is broken as 10 and S-G-A-U-I-L land across the field ahead,
01:26:40accompanied by a shiny smaller dragon who makes me instantly smile.
01:26:43We are all flying today, I ask, following as he walks toward the trio.
01:26:47We are all learning today, you need to learn how to stay on,
01:26:49and I need to learn why the hell it's so hard for you, he answers.
01:26:52Andrana needs to learn how to keep up.
01:26:54Tane needs to learn how to share his pace in a tighter flight formation,
01:26:57and every other dragon but S-G-A-U-I-L is too scared to fly closer.
01:27:01Tane chuffs in agreement as we approach.
01:27:03Andrana, I ask, eyeing the giant blue dragon.
01:27:05Zayden grins, she's been leading for almost three years now.
01:27:08She's going to have to learn how to follow, or at least practice.
01:27:11Tane chuffs on suspiciously like a laugh, and she snaps at him,
01:27:14wearing her teeth into-

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