Good Girls Gone Wild Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30Oh, my bad.
00:00:38We have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:40I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:44So, I wanted to be sure.
00:00:53So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:58Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:01:03I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:06I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:01:08You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:10What?
00:01:11But you can't.
00:01:12I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:15Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:17You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:20This is bad.
00:01:21You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:23She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:33So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:50Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:53But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:56I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:02:00But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:03So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:06Mushrooms?
00:02:07No, not like that.
00:02:08Like something nice.
00:02:10Like maybe a trip.
00:02:12Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:14No.
00:02:14Sorry, Sue.
00:02:17I have a date.
00:02:18Oh, so do I.
00:02:21Sorry, Sue.
00:02:22Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:23We'll figure it out.
00:02:35Oh, flowers.
00:02:36Are these from you?
00:02:37Yeah, sure.
00:02:39Here you go.
00:02:41No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:43I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:46I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:52Oh, Jake.
00:02:56Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:59Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:01When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:04The best night of my life.
00:03:05It will be.
00:03:06I promise.
00:03:07It'll always be amazing with you and me together.
00:03:13Jake, no, I have to go.
00:03:20I have to work on my art project.
00:03:23You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:26but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:29Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:32This Saturday?
00:03:33Of course.
00:03:34Thanks.
00:03:40Okay, bye.
00:03:50Nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:03:52Oh, baby.
00:03:53You're so hot.
00:03:54I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:55Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:57Yeah.
00:03:57What was your name again?
00:03:58Rod.
00:03:59Sex guy.
00:04:00Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:08You're right, I bet.
00:04:16Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:19Oh, no.
00:04:21Does not compute.
00:04:22Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:25Oh, huh.
00:04:29Hi.
00:04:31When did you get home?
00:04:33So is it true?
00:04:34Yes, it is.
00:04:35It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:40I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:04:45and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:47So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:50Lexi, tell her.
00:04:51Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:54On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:57Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday.
00:04:59Or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:05:02Eight.
00:05:03Maybe.
00:05:05Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:12I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:20But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:23We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:26Oh, does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:30It's not Jake.
00:05:32It's the male ideal.
00:05:34Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:38Right.
00:05:38Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:42I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:43I'm not really an artist.
00:05:44Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:46The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:50And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:52I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:54And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:54Look, I can go either way.
00:05:57I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:02I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:05Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:07But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:13You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:20Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:23To church to pray for you.
00:06:25I want to be first in line.
00:06:27I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:29Yeah, me too.
00:06:29Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:41It's been four days since my last confession.
00:06:43I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:45Mm-hmm.
00:06:47Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:06:51It's about sex.
00:06:53Mm-hmm.
00:06:55I mean, not me.
00:06:56I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:58Aw.
00:07:00I've never even seen a guy as...
00:07:03Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:05But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:09But there was nothing there.
00:07:13Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:15My best friends.
00:07:17They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:20Okay.
00:07:21Third base.
00:07:23What?
00:07:24No.
00:07:25Like, sex.
00:07:26Like, intercourse?
00:07:27With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:29I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:31If you know what I mean.
00:07:32All the way.
00:07:33Go all the way.
00:07:35What?
00:07:36What?
00:07:36What?
00:07:38Ah!
00:07:39Ah!
00:07:40How could you do so?
00:07:42You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:47What?
00:07:47Yes!
00:07:53Yes!
00:07:54Yes!
00:07:55Run!
00:07:56Run!
00:07:56Home route!
00:07:58Ah!
00:07:59Damn it!
00:08:01Oh, fuck you Yankees.
00:08:04Sorry.
00:08:05Sorry.
00:08:05Sue!
00:08:23It is 1 p.m.
00:08:30What do you have a little consideration?
00:08:31I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:34Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:37I have an announcement to make.
00:08:39I want to do it.
00:08:41Do you hear me?
00:08:42I want to do it.
00:08:44This weekend, on our birthday.
00:08:47Do what?
00:08:49It.
00:08:50Screw.
00:08:51You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:54You know, shagging, fucking.
00:08:59You do.
00:09:00But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:03And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:05Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:09:08Really?
00:09:09Well, okay, great.
00:09:12We're all in then.
00:09:14So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:17Right?
00:09:19Right.
00:09:21I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:29Hey, Frank.
00:09:32Hi, Sue.
00:09:34Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:37I don't know.
00:09:37Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:39Yeah.
00:09:39He's blind.
00:09:41Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:47Wait, we're back.
00:09:49Hey.
00:09:49Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:54It's for our birthday.
00:09:55Do you want to come?
00:09:56Do you think he can see at me short?
00:09:57Well, the house looks done.
00:10:12Tomorrow's a big day.
00:10:14We finally turn 18.
00:10:15And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:18Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at two.
00:10:21So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.
00:10:24Jake.
00:10:24And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:27But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:28Let's pop your chair.
00:10:29It's easy.
00:10:31I've known for the past six years.
00:10:32Ever since catechism.
00:10:36What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:37I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:39Yeah.
00:10:45My soulmate.
00:10:51Chris?
00:10:53Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:57I mean...
00:10:58What?
00:10:58No, Chris is perfect.
00:11:00He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:11:03Plus, his name's Chris.
00:11:04It's a sign.
00:11:05Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:11What?
00:11:11He does not.
00:11:13Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:14He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:17With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:21Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:24Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:26Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:29See you in the morning.
00:11:30See you in the morning.
00:11:36I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:38I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:44You're so perfect.
00:12:11Let's go...
00:12:12We're so perfect.
00:12:14I'll be right guys.
00:12:15No.
00:12:18No.
00:12:24No.
00:12:32I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:45Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:10Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:40Oh my gosh, they're coming.
00:13:42Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:13:47Ew, why?
00:13:49It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:51It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:52I'm gonna suppress it.
00:13:54You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:56It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:57It's stupid.
00:13:58Just screw him.
00:13:59That's what he wants.
00:14:00That's what all guys want.
00:14:01Who hurt you as a child?
00:14:03Oh, Christ.
00:14:04Can I have your mouth, too?
00:14:06Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:11You're an idiot.
00:14:12A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:16Seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:14:20Oh, what a cool bracelet!
00:14:25I love it!
00:14:26Um...
00:14:27You should put that down, though, because it's like, it's really...
00:14:30Very fragile.
00:14:31Yeah.
00:14:32Okay.
00:14:33Set it down.
00:14:34Hurry up.
00:14:35Okay.
00:14:36Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:38Yeah.
00:14:39Okay.
00:14:40Let's go.
00:14:41Let's go.
00:14:42Look at this.
00:14:43Let's go.
00:14:44I love it.
00:14:45No.
00:14:46Oh, Jesus.
00:14:47Whoa!
00:14:48Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:15:04Oh, A tack of the wet t-shirts.
00:15:06Nice!
00:15:07Let's go.
00:15:08Come on, come on.
00:15:11Happy birthday, Lex!
00:15:16No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:20That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:22but be careful it stings.
00:15:24And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:27Oh, how did you know?
00:15:29I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:32Buster, such a beauty.
00:15:40Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:42All right, sorry. Are you okay now?
00:15:45Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:46Okay, see you later.
00:15:49I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:52This is crazy.
00:15:53Jake! Hi!
00:15:55Hey, Ben. Happy birthday.
00:15:58Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:01What? You want a beer?
00:16:07No.
00:16:10Oh, hon. Come here.
00:16:15I have your present here.
00:16:17I'll give it to you later when the time's right.
00:16:20You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:22And I have a present for you
00:16:24that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:28Hey, bro.
00:16:30We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:32A little bet.
00:16:37All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:38Hey.
00:16:39Hey.
00:16:40How you doing?
00:16:41Hey.
00:16:42Check it out.
00:16:43Dare me?
00:16:58Oh, dude, look at those.
00:17:11Are those real?
00:17:12Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:14Hey, ah, dude, move!
00:17:15Oh, lame!
00:17:16Oh, all right, okay.
00:17:18I'll see you guys later.
00:17:19Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:20Aw, the moves.
00:17:2120 bucks says, by the end of the day,
00:17:23I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:25Yeah!
00:17:27They're fake anyway.
00:17:28Who cares?
00:17:30Okay!
00:17:32Oh, dude, dude!
00:17:35I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:40Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:42Here, let me.
00:17:43Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:17:45Come on.
00:17:47I win.
00:17:50Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:52I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:57Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:58Jake, I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:59It just, like, disappeared.
00:18:12Are these real?
00:18:13Of course they are.
00:18:15How come I haven't even met you before?
00:18:18I don't know.
00:18:19Maybe we're just gonna be around.
00:18:20Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:21Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:24Maybe upstairs.
00:18:25I don't know.
00:18:26Oh.
00:18:27Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:18:29That's probably where you went.
00:18:32Go roll.
00:18:35Liquid courage?
00:18:36Yeah.
00:18:37Atta girl.
00:18:38Vodka cranberry?
00:18:43It's really simple.
00:18:45Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:47I can go meet around.
00:18:49Sue?
00:18:50Are you okay?
00:18:51Sue?
00:18:52Relax.
00:18:54They're just guys.
00:18:56Okay.
00:18:56Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:57Seriously.
00:18:58You're gonna be fine.
00:18:59Is Chris here?
00:18:59Is Chris here?
00:19:05Wow.
00:19:05It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:08No.
00:19:08He does not have gay things.
00:19:10I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:12I'm gonna do it.
00:19:13I'm gonna do this.
00:19:28Good luck.
00:19:31Hey, you can do this.
00:19:33Just act like a slut.
00:19:37Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:43Yeah, my favorite chapter is Solomon Galore.
00:19:49Chris.
00:19:51Hi.
00:19:52Can I talk to you?
00:19:54Uh-huh.
00:19:55Um, in private?
00:19:57No.
00:20:10Hey, Lexi.
00:20:11Hey, Lexi.
00:20:12What?
00:20:13Chris.
00:20:15You're so sexy.
00:20:17Ever since you played Jesus at camp,
00:20:19I've just...
00:20:20I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:23And I really want to...
00:20:27Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:28Is that wrong?
00:20:30Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:32Nothing.
00:20:32I'm sorry.
00:20:33I don't know how to do this.
00:20:35Sue.
00:20:37Sue.
00:20:38Sue.
00:20:38Sue.
00:20:38Sue.
00:20:38I understand these urges.
00:20:43And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:48Really?
00:20:49You do?
00:20:49I do.
00:20:50I really do.
00:20:52I like you too.
00:20:54Really?
00:20:55You do?
00:20:55I do.
00:20:56I really do.
00:20:58It's just...
00:20:59I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:21:05Right.
00:21:06Lexi said you were...
00:21:07Jesus.
00:21:08Oh.
00:21:09That man.
00:21:10Of course.
00:21:11What did you think?
00:21:12Oh, nothing.
00:21:14So we can still do this then?
00:21:16Oh, Sue.
00:21:19You know, for me,
00:21:21When I think about that man
00:21:24Who died for our sins
00:21:27When I think about him
00:21:28Up there on that cross
00:21:30So helpless
00:21:32Yet so
00:21:33Muscular
00:21:35With his strong
00:21:36Thighs
00:21:38Crossed over each other
00:21:40So
00:21:41Delicately
00:21:43Beneath that
00:21:44Ragged
00:21:44Loincloth
00:21:46Growing so hot
00:21:48So sweaty
00:21:50Under that hot
00:21:51Hot sun
00:21:53I just feel such
00:21:55Compassion
00:21:56I think about those things too
00:21:58So you understand
00:22:00Why I can't do this
00:22:02Not really
00:22:03I just find it too hard
00:22:06It is
00:22:06To
00:22:07Give in to carnal pleasure
00:22:10When
00:22:10He sacrificed so much for us
00:22:13So
00:22:15No
00:22:16You're gonna go out there, right?
00:22:26Andy, we're gonna tell you
00:22:27Throw these on
00:22:27Hey, hi
00:22:28Whoa!
00:22:30Have you seen Jake?
00:22:32Uh, no
00:22:33No
00:22:33Alright
00:22:34Okay
00:22:35Alright, focus
00:22:39Focus, focus
00:22:39Oh, there he is
00:22:46Oh, there he is
00:22:46Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted
00:22:52How could he?
00:23:09Sue
00:23:09What happened?
00:23:11Did you guys do it?
00:23:12Sue?
00:23:13He doesn't want me
00:23:15Because he's gay
00:23:17No, he's not
00:23:18He just really loves Jesus
00:23:19Oh, come on, Sue
00:23:21The only reason we even liked him
00:23:23Is because you knew
00:23:24He was never a real possibility for you
00:23:26Look
00:23:27The only way
00:23:28You're gonna find out
00:23:29What kind of man you really want
00:23:31Is to know what kind of woman
00:23:32You really are
00:23:34Deep inside
00:23:36What?
00:23:37Come with me
00:23:38Were
00:23:39To meet your dark side
00:23:41Out
00:23:48Everyone out
00:23:49Sue
00:23:59It's time
00:24:00For you and your vagina
00:24:01To meet
00:24:01Face to face
00:24:03I really can't
00:24:14I really don't think
00:24:16I can do this
00:24:17I'm not letting you out
00:24:19Until you look
00:24:19I'm not letting you out
00:24:24Until you look
00:24:25Sue
00:24:28Can you see it?
00:24:32Sue
00:24:32I'm almost
00:24:36I'm almost there
00:24:38What?
00:24:45What?
00:24:46Sue, what happened?
00:24:47What did you see?
00:24:48A raccoon?
00:24:50What?
00:24:51You overshot it
00:24:52Aim the mirror further up
00:24:54I can't
00:25:01Please don't make me do that again
00:25:03Okay, fine
00:25:04Fine
00:25:05I didn't want to do this
00:25:07But you leave me no choice
00:25:08What?
00:25:09You really need an orgasm
00:25:12Honestly
00:25:13I don't know
00:25:13How you expected
00:25:14To ever have sex
00:25:15With someone else
00:25:16When you've never even
00:25:16Had it with yourself
00:25:17This really has to be
00:25:18Your first step
00:25:19Lex
00:25:20I'm waiting
00:25:21Coming
00:25:22Sue, uh
00:25:23My black vibrator
00:25:24Is somewhere in the top drawer
00:25:24Just find it
00:25:25And use it
00:25:26Wait
00:25:27What does a black vibrator
00:25:28Look like?
00:25:29It's black
00:25:30It vibrates
00:25:31Come on, Rod
00:25:34Let's go to Sue's room
00:25:36And don't come back
00:25:38Until you have
00:25:38At least one orgasm
00:25:40Hey, cutie
00:25:52Cutie
00:25:53Boomzai!
00:25:59Oh, yeah!
00:26:03Bang
00:26:03Bang
00:26:04Bang
00:26:05Bang
00:26:06Good boy
00:26:08Straighten up
00:26:08Good boy
00:26:10Good boy
00:26:11He knows over
00:26:13A hundred commands
00:26:13I'm sorry
00:26:16I can't see anything
00:26:17That is not funny, Cheryl
00:26:19What a bitch
00:26:20Fortunately, when you're blind
00:26:22You get used to things like that
00:26:24Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:32Ah!
00:26:32Ah!
00:26:37Ah!
00:26:37Ah!
00:26:38Ah!
00:26:39Ah!
00:26:40Ah!
00:26:40Ah!
00:26:41Ah!
00:26:42Ah!
00:26:42Ah!
00:26:43Ah!
00:26:43Ah!
00:26:44Ah!
00:26:45Ah!
00:26:45Ah!
00:26:46Ah!
00:26:46Ah!
00:26:47Ah!
00:26:48Ah!
00:26:48Ah!
00:26:49Ah!
00:26:49Ah!
00:26:49Oh, shit.
00:26:56What's wrong with this thing?
00:27:15Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:17Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:20He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:23For sure?
00:27:25I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:27so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:29That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:32No, it's awful.
00:27:34I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:41It's a text. It's from him.
00:27:43I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:45Okay.
00:27:46He's looking for you.
00:27:47He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:50Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:51Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:53No, you can't just leave.
00:27:55Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:58I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:28:00No.
00:28:00He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:28:04Either way, it's bullshit.
00:28:05I see only one option.
00:28:06I see only one option.
00:28:07Uh, he's looking for you.
00:28:08He wants to give you your birthday gift for you.
00:28:10He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:28:11I'm leaving.
00:28:12Revenge said birthday gift.
00:28:14Oh, I can't face him.
00:28:15Um, I have to go.
00:28:16I'm going.
00:28:17No, you can't just leave.
00:28:19Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing's...
00:28:22Re... I mean, what?
00:28:23What does that even mean?
00:28:24It happened.
00:28:25I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:28:27No.
00:28:27It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake...
00:28:30He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:28:34Either way, it's bullshit.
00:28:35I see only one option.
00:28:38I'm leaving.
00:28:39Revenge sex.
00:28:40Re... I mean, what?
00:28:41What does that even mean?
00:28:45I catch you.
00:28:48It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:55But he... I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:29:06He doesn't even care about me.
00:29:07I mean, why would...
00:29:07He's just into other girls.
00:29:09Trust me, he'll care.
00:29:11Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him.
00:29:14To his ego.
00:29:15To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:29:19Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:29:22No, I... I couldn't.
00:29:26Plus, I mean, there's... there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:29:30Eric!
00:29:31He's perfect!
00:29:32Eric Hall?
00:29:33Are you kidding?
00:29:34I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:29:36He likes your type.
00:29:38Really?
00:29:38And what type is that?
00:29:40He's funny.
00:29:42Yeah.
00:29:43Trust me, he's amazing.
00:29:44I fooled around with him once.
00:29:45He has this great tongue, right?
00:29:47Oh, no.
00:29:48I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:51Okay, then.
00:29:52Fine.
00:29:52We will find someone else.
00:29:54Someone that I haven't...
00:29:56fooled around with.
00:30:00Okay, what does it matter?
00:30:01That I fooled around with him?
00:30:02I mean, it's like you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:30:05No, I just couldn't do it.
00:30:07Fine.
00:30:07If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:30:12to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,
00:30:15and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:30:17and you chose not to do it,
00:30:19go ahead.
00:30:20But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:30:24I don't know.
00:30:27But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:30:31I don't know.
00:30:33Trust me.
00:30:34It's going to work.
00:30:35I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:44Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:45Okay, enough to chat with her.
00:30:47Oh, no.
00:30:58Hey.
00:31:00Happy birthday.
00:31:03Thanks.
00:31:05Have you guys seen Jake?
00:31:26So, happy birthday.
00:31:35Uh, do you know...
00:31:37Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:31:44But it's actually from us.
00:31:45U.S.
00:31:47America?
00:31:48United States?
00:31:51I know where we live.
00:31:52Right.
00:31:53Of course.
00:31:57I know where we live.
00:31:59Right.
00:32:00Of course.
00:32:05Hey, Jesus, Eric.
00:32:06Are you going to make your move or not?
00:32:08Oh, you want me to move?
00:32:09Yeah, no.
00:32:09I can totally move.
00:32:10Do you want me to move?
00:32:11No, you're fine.
00:32:22Are you the guy?
00:32:24No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:26Fine.
00:32:27If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right
00:32:30thing, to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly
00:32:35even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:32:39But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:43I don't know.
00:32:46But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:51I don't know.
00:32:52Trust me.
00:32:53It's going to work.
00:32:59I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:03Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:04Are you okay enough to chat with Jared?
00:33:06Oh, no.
00:33:07Hey, happy birthday.
00:33:22Thanks.
00:33:37Have you guys seen Jake?
00:33:49So, happy birthday.
00:33:55Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:33:59But it's actually from us, U.S., America, United States.
00:34:06I know where we live.
00:34:07Right.
00:34:08Of course.
00:34:12I know where we live.
00:34:14Right.
00:34:15Of course.
00:34:20Hey, Jesus, Eric.
00:34:21Are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:23Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:24Yeah, no.
00:34:24I can totally move.
00:34:25I just...
00:34:25No, you're fine.
00:34:39Jake!
00:34:41So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:34:44Oh.
00:34:45I'm sorry.
00:34:46It?
00:34:46Monkey bonin' and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:34:53What, um...
00:34:54It.
00:34:55Like, monkey bonin' and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:35:01Oh!
00:35:02Monkey bonin' and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:35:07Oh!
00:35:08Oh!
00:35:08You mean, like, uh, right now?
00:35:12I mean, well, yeah, you know, the sooner the better.
00:35:17Yeah, sure.
00:35:18I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:35:19Um, I just never realized that you...
00:35:21I mean...
00:35:24Whew.
00:35:26Uh...
00:35:27It's just...
00:35:29You're so...
00:35:32You're so beautiful.
00:35:34Okay.
00:35:34Um...
00:35:34Hmm?
00:35:36Uh, no cuisine.
00:35:38Right.
00:35:39Um, of course.
00:35:41Sorry?
00:35:41So, um, do you want to unwrap me?
00:35:49Oh, wow.
00:35:49Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:35:54Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:35:56You, uh, you're fresh.
00:36:00Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:02You, uh, you're fresh.
00:36:04Organic.
00:36:06Yep.
00:36:08So, the wrap.
00:36:10Right.
00:36:10Um, where's the, uh...
00:36:14It's, uh, the end that I just, like, right over here.
00:36:16Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:36:17Yeah.
00:36:17That's where I see it.
00:36:18Um, let me just, uh...
00:36:20Ow, ow, ow.
00:36:22Oh, sorry.
00:36:23Sorry, sorry.
00:36:24I, um...
00:36:25It's...
00:36:25It's okay.
00:36:26Here.
00:36:26Do it again.
00:36:29Sorry, I, uh...
00:36:30I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:36:32You know what?
00:36:32Let me just lay on the bed.
00:36:35Okay.
00:36:40Uh, let me just see.
00:36:44Oh, here it is.
00:36:45I got it.
00:36:46All right.
00:36:46This is him.
00:36:47United States?
00:36:48I know where we live.
00:36:49Right.
00:36:50Of course.
00:36:51Uh, I know where we live.
00:36:56Right.
00:36:57Of course.
00:37:01Hold it.
00:37:03Oh, let me just...
00:37:04Ah!
00:37:05Hey, Jesus, Erica.
00:37:06Are you gonna make your move or not?
00:37:08Oh, you want me to move?
00:37:09Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:37:10I just...
00:37:10No, you're fine.
00:37:14Oh!
00:37:16Oh, geez.
00:37:16Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:37:18You okay?
00:37:19Help!
00:37:19Help!
00:37:19Help!
00:37:29Uh...
00:37:29Jake!
00:37:35So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:37:38Oh.
00:37:39I'm sorry.
00:37:40It?
00:37:41Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:37:44What, um...
00:37:45It.
00:37:46Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:37:52Oh!
00:37:53Oh, you mean, like, uh...
00:37:56Oh, geez.
00:37:58Right now?
00:38:00I mean, well, yeah.
00:38:02You know, the sooner the better.
00:38:05Yeah, sure.
00:38:06I mean, yeah, of course.
00:38:07Um, I just never realized that you...
00:38:09I mean...
00:38:11I mean...
00:38:12It's just...
00:38:17You're so...
00:38:19You're so beautiful.
00:38:24Okay.
00:38:25Um...
00:38:25Hmm?
00:38:27Uh, no Cassine.
00:38:29Right.
00:38:30Um, of course.
00:38:32Sorry?
00:38:36Well, that was stupid.
00:38:38So, um...
00:38:39Do you want to unwrap me?
00:38:43Oh, wow.
00:38:43Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:38:48Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:38:50Uh, you're fresh.
00:38:54Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:38:56Uh, you're fresh.
00:38:58Organic.
00:39:00Yeah.
00:39:02Heck.
00:39:03Yep.
00:39:05So, the wrap.
00:39:07Right.
00:39:08Um...
00:39:09Where's the, uh...
00:39:11It's, uh, the end that I just like right over here.
00:39:16Oh, oh, yeah.
00:39:17Here it is.
00:39:17Yeah.
00:39:17That's where I see it.
00:39:18Um, let me just, uh...
00:39:20Ow, ow, ow.
00:39:22Oh, sorry.
00:39:23Sorry, sorry.
00:39:24I, um...
00:39:25It's...
00:39:25It's okay.
00:39:26Here.
00:39:26Do it again.
00:39:29Sorry, I, uh...
00:39:30I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:39:32You know what?
00:39:32Let me just lay on the bed.
00:39:36How you doing tonight?
00:39:37Good.
00:39:38Okay.
00:39:39Having a good time?
00:39:42Yeah.
00:39:42Good.
00:39:43Jake!
00:39:46Uh, let me just see.
00:39:50Oh, here it is.
00:39:51I got it.
00:39:52All right.
00:39:52It's, um, pull it.
00:39:54Let me just...
00:39:55Oh, jeez.
00:39:58Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:40:00You okay?
00:40:01Help!
00:40:01Uh...
00:40:02I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:40:08What?
00:40:08Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:40:09Oh, jeez.
00:40:16Well, that was stupid.
00:40:21Yeah.
00:40:23That's...
00:40:23I can't hear you.
00:40:30How you doing tonight?
00:40:31Good.
00:40:31You having a good time?
00:40:33Yeah?
00:40:33You good?
00:40:34Jake, I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:40:37What?
00:40:38I can't hear you.
00:40:40I don't have a beer.
00:40:42Chips are so damn salty.
00:40:47Hold on.
00:40:48Take a piss.
00:40:50Jake!
00:40:50Sorry, we're...
00:40:51Upstairs.
00:40:52What?
00:40:53Hold on.
00:40:54Take a piss.
00:40:56How much beer?
00:40:56What?
00:40:57What?
00:40:57What?
00:40:57What?
00:40:58What?
00:40:58What?
00:40:58What?
00:40:59What?
00:40:59What?
00:40:59What?
00:40:59What?
00:40:59What?
00:41:00What?
00:41:00What?
00:41:01What?
00:41:01What?
00:41:09What?
00:41:10Oh!
00:41:12Ah!
00:41:14Ah!
00:41:16Ah!
00:41:18Finally.
00:41:26I, uh, I'm gonna just get the blinds.
00:41:28Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:30Um, don't worry about it.
00:41:32What?
00:41:34I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:41:38Oh.
00:41:40Well, okay.
00:41:42Okay.
00:42:00Finally.
00:42:02Okay.
00:42:08I, uh, I'm gonna just get the blinds.
00:42:12Finally.
00:42:14I, uh, I'm gonna just get the blinds.
00:42:16Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:42:18Um, don't worry about it.
00:42:20What?
00:42:22I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:42:26Oh.
00:42:28Well, okay.
00:42:29Okay.
00:42:30Um.
00:42:32Um.
00:42:34Um.
00:42:36Um.
00:42:38Um.
00:42:40Um.
00:42:42Um.
00:42:44Um.
00:42:46Um.
00:42:48Um.
00:42:50Um.
00:42:52Um.
00:42:54Um.
00:42:56Um.
00:42:58Um.
00:43:00Um.
00:43:02Um.
00:43:16Um.
00:43:18Um.
00:43:20Um.
00:43:22do it um not yet more foreplay huh oh
00:43:35oh yeah so good oh yep oh my god draw draw draw draw what what ah ah
00:43:52lock jaw lock jaw is that even a thing i don't know ah are you okay
00:44:03no no no it's uh it's fine i'm just a embarrassed i it's probably tmj or fracture or swollen
00:44:14you sure you're okay yeah yeah okay great have fun
00:44:22now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:44:31now
00:44:36all right i'm gonna come now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:44:39no no no no no no no no no not yet
00:44:48Lexi! Lexi!
00:44:50Oh, sh!
00:44:50Oh!
00:44:54No, no, no, not yet!
00:44:55Lexi! Lexi!
00:44:56Oh, sh!
00:44:57Oh!
00:44:59No means no!
00:45:00Huh? Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:45:02I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:45:03It's been a really long time,
00:45:04and I haven't masturbated for anything.
00:45:13Oh, hey, Jake.
00:45:16How you doing?
00:45:18Good.
00:45:19Eric?
00:45:20Come...
00:45:21Eric, help me.
00:45:22I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:45:25Excuse me.
00:45:29Cheryl's in here.
00:45:35Sup, bro?
00:45:36What the fuck is...
00:45:39Hey, wait!
00:45:41Lex, I'm still waiting.
00:45:43Still waiting.
00:45:50Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:45:54Damn it.
00:45:55Hey, you!
00:45:56You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm going to teach you a lesson.
00:46:12I'm so sorry!
00:46:13I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:46:15Hey!
00:46:16Hey!
00:46:22I'm so sorry!
00:46:23I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:46:24Oh man, no more water balloons.
00:46:52This party's ass.
00:46:54This just isn't working on.
00:47:01Nothing.
00:47:02What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:47:07Lock your character, man.
00:47:10Lock sticks.
00:47:11Spark it up.
00:47:12Yes!
00:47:13Oh man!
00:47:14I love this game!
00:47:15We're in the controllers.
00:47:16We gotta play.
00:47:17Here, here, here, here.
00:47:18Okay, let me find another one.
00:47:19Whoa!
00:47:20Look at this!
00:47:21Oh my God!
00:47:22Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:47:24Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:47:26Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:47:29Oh my God!
00:47:30Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:47:31Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:47:32Oh man!
00:47:33Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:47:34Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:47:36Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:47:37Oh my God!
00:47:38Oh my God!
00:47:39Oh my God!
00:47:40Oh no!
00:47:41Oh my God!
00:47:42He's dead!
00:47:43Oh my God!
00:47:44Oh my God!
00:47:45Nice shot.
00:47:47Wasn't me.
00:47:52Whoa, whoa, nice.
00:47:55Are you sitting there or something?
00:47:58Hey, you found the grenade launcher. Nice, nice.
00:48:12Do you have the extra controller?
00:48:16What?
00:48:25Whoa!
00:48:27You are the controller.
00:48:29No, I just...
00:48:31I didn't, I swear, I...
00:48:43Hey, Sue.
00:48:45What are you doing, man?
00:48:48It's okay. Um, hey, Sue.
00:49:00Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:49:02Yeah, I just needed to, um...
00:49:05Oh, sure.
00:49:07Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:49:12You were?
00:49:14You mean...
00:49:15Yeah.
00:49:16Yeah.
00:49:20So you think we should give it a try?
00:49:23Could we...
00:49:24Wow, um, your toilet's...
00:49:25You go get a drink?
00:49:27Wow, um, your toilet's really...
00:49:30Go get a drink?
00:49:34Wow, um, your toilet's really...
00:49:37Clog, you...
00:49:39Clog, you...
00:49:41You know what? I gotta go.
00:49:43Um, happy birthday.
00:49:44Chris, no, there wasn't...
00:49:45I didn't...
00:49:46Oh, God, never mind.
00:49:47Oh, God, never mind.
00:49:49I'm .
00:50:00This was the worst idea ever.
00:50:05This was the worse idea ever.
00:50:08Never going to have sex.
00:50:10Excellent.
00:50:11Ow.
00:50:31Hello? A little attention here.
00:50:37Hello? A little attention here.
00:50:41Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:50:57Hello? A little attention here.
00:51:06Lex.
00:51:08Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:51:15Lex.
00:51:16Joe.
00:51:17I'll be selfish.
00:51:18Oh, right. Sorry.
00:51:19I'll be selfish.
00:51:20Oh, right. Sorry.
00:51:21I'll be selfish.
00:51:22I'll be selfish.
00:51:23Oh, right. Sorry.
00:51:24I'll be selfish.
00:51:25Oh, right. Sorry.
00:51:26I'll be selfish.
00:51:27Oh, right. Sorry.
00:51:28Sorry.
00:51:29Oh, jeez.
00:51:30Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:51:32Too much fucking multitasking.
00:51:33Screw it.
00:51:34Oh, jeez.
00:51:35Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:51:36Too much fucking multitasking.
00:51:38Screw it.
00:51:39Oh, jeez.
00:51:40Oh, jeez.
00:51:41Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:51:42Too much fucking multitasking.
00:51:43Screw it.
00:51:44Oh, huh.
00:51:45Oh, my God.
00:51:46despite this stupid position anyway.
00:51:47Too much fucking multitasking.
00:51:48Screw it.
00:51:49Ugh.
00:52:00Oh, jeez.
00:52:01Hmm.
00:52:02Oh
00:52:32Oh
00:52:44No, that was bad
00:52:48That was so bad
00:53:02Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:53:12I think that guy's name starts with a J
00:53:16Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:53:22Yes, it does
00:53:24So you're JJ?
00:53:26Uh-oh
00:53:32Oh
00:53:50Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS
00:53:52Would you like
00:53:54Hello
00:53:56Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS
00:53:58Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:54:00A nun
00:54:01Please punch in your credit card number
00:54:07Please hold
00:54:09Oh my goodness
00:54:131-900-CONFESSION
00:54:15How may I be of service?
00:54:17Confession
00:54:19How may I be of service?
00:54:21It's been one day since my last confession
00:54:23I accuse myself
00:54:25The following sins
00:54:27One day
00:54:31One day
00:54:33Is that too long?
00:54:35I would've come this morning
00:54:37But it's my 18th birthday
00:54:39Go on
00:54:41Um
00:54:47Okay, well I've been touching myself
00:54:49Inappropriately
00:54:51Well actually I didn't
00:54:52A washing machine
00:54:53What's her problem?
00:54:55A washing machine touch
00:54:57A-
00:54:59Alright, freak time's up
00:55:03What? What do I do?
00:55:05Just-
00:55:07All right, Freak, time's up.
00:55:10What? But what do I do?
00:55:11Just unplug the thing.
00:55:13No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:55:17Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:55:21I'm serious.
00:55:24You know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:55:26All right, Freak, time's up.
00:55:28What? But what do I do?
00:55:30Just unplug the thing.
00:55:32No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:55:35Well, then be happy.
00:55:37You found the perfect man.
00:55:39I'm serious.
00:55:40Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:55:43I'll tell you this.
00:55:46Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:55:48No contrigions?
00:55:50You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:55:54So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:55:57Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:56:00Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:56:03Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:56:05Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:56:08Huh.
00:56:10God's pretty cool that way.
00:56:11He sure is.
00:56:12Now run along.
00:56:17Wow.
00:56:18How do you know all that?
00:56:20Because I'm a nun.
00:56:21Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:56:24Huh.
00:56:34Accidental masturbation.
00:56:35Who'da thunk?
00:56:36Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idea.
00:56:56Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idea.
00:57:02Oh, God, I'm getting out of here.
00:57:10I guess I can scare you.
00:57:11I guess I don't feel bad.
00:57:13Yeah, admit it.
00:57:14I've got no game.
00:57:16I guess I can scare you.
00:57:17I guess I don't feel bad.
00:57:22Fucking douchebag.
00:57:25Damn it.
00:57:25No, I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:57:29You go, girl.
00:57:31What?
00:57:33What are you doing here?
00:57:35We needed someplace private.
00:57:37But hey, listen, if you're serious about getting laid.
00:57:40Yeah.
00:57:41If you want someone great, I mean, really, the best ever.
00:57:46No offense.
00:57:48Frank, the blind guy.
00:57:50Really?
00:57:51I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:57:55I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:57:57It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:58:00It was like we used all our senses.
00:58:03Everything.
00:58:06If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:58:09All right.
00:58:16What about him?
00:58:23Jeremy.
00:58:24Oh, yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:58:26Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:58:28I didn't know his last name, though.
00:58:31It's Jones.
00:58:33Jeremy Jones.
00:58:34This all makes sense.
00:58:36Excuse me.
00:58:38Jeremy.
00:58:39Hi.
00:58:41Who's on the phone?
00:58:42Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:58:44You'll meet her.
00:58:45It'll be here in, like, an hour.
00:58:47Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:59:01Oh, hi.
00:59:02Hi, Frank.
00:59:04Sit.
00:59:08Oh, you meant...
00:59:09You meant the dog.
00:59:13Relax.
00:59:13You need to relax and calm down.
00:59:26Oh, I'm...
00:59:27I'm...
00:59:28Oh, I'm...
00:59:33I'm relaxed.
00:59:34I'm fine.
00:59:35Why are you biting your nail?
00:59:36And your nail?
00:59:37I'm not.
00:59:41How did you know that?
00:59:45Corner.
00:59:49Sit.
00:59:51Roll over.
00:59:55Oh, you mean me.
00:59:58Roll over.
00:59:59Roll over.
00:59:59Oh, you mean me.
01:00:13Oh, how do you...
01:00:14How do you want me to...
01:00:16Just lay down.
01:00:17Oh.
01:00:17Oh, I...
01:00:18Oh, I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
01:00:32But considering it a teachable moment.
01:00:35Okay.
01:00:39Oh.
01:00:42See me with your hands.
01:00:43All right.
01:00:47All right.
01:00:48Uh...
01:00:49You know, I should really...
01:00:56I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.
01:00:58Really.
01:01:02Oh.
01:01:03Mmm, peanut butter.
01:01:13Oh, Frank.
01:01:33Frank.
01:01:34Frank.
01:01:34Oh.
01:01:38Oh, Frank.
01:01:43Oh, man.
01:02:06Oh, give me two.
01:02:09Bye.
01:02:09Yo, man.
01:02:13Dude, give me two.
01:02:14My chips, old boy.
01:02:16Dude, give me two, man.
01:02:17My chips.
01:02:18Dude.
01:02:19My chips.
01:02:19Dude, give me two.
01:02:20I'd talk a little bit.
01:02:21My chips?
01:02:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
01:02:26Sorry.
01:02:34It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
01:02:37That's all.
01:02:39Come on, let me do this.
01:02:43Go ahead.
01:02:44I got it.
01:02:44I got it.
01:02:45No, really.
01:02:45Please.
01:02:46I want to help.
01:02:49Okay, everybody out.
01:02:52Leave.
01:02:52I have to back you.
01:02:53You're not even getting the chips.
01:03:07They're over here.
01:03:10I see some dust over here, so...
01:03:12It's just so much dust on this floor.
01:03:19It's just a dirty floor.
01:03:21It's such a dirty, dirty floor.
01:03:25It's just a dirty floor.
01:03:32It's just a dirty floor.
01:03:34I see you.
01:03:34It's just a dirty floor.
01:03:36You need to go to the floor.
01:03:38It's just a dirty floor.
01:03:39I think I got all that, so I'm just gonna, I'll see how, oh.
01:03:59Frankie!
01:04:00Oh my, oh.
01:04:01What was that?
01:04:02What?
01:04:03Fucking shit.
01:04:04Man, we gotta smoke.
01:04:06Oh, we can smoke in here.
01:04:08Stop.
01:04:10Frank, stop teasing Frank.
01:04:13Oh shit.
01:04:14Sorry man, we're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
01:04:18Oh, I heard something.
01:04:19You wanna join us?
01:04:20Uh, no, I'm not sure.
01:04:21Come on, you gotta do it, come on!
01:04:23Seriously guys, I need to do it.
01:04:25What's your dog, man?
01:04:26What's it like being blinded?
01:04:27It's tripping.
01:04:32Frank?
01:04:33Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
01:04:36Bro, you are too funny.
01:04:41Thanks man.
01:04:43Ooh, this is some good stuff.
01:04:45I haven't smoked since junior high.
01:04:46Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
01:04:49Wait, wait, wait.
01:04:50I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
01:04:55Damn, I really can't remember, this is some good shit.
01:04:57Oh no.
01:04:58You're the devil.
01:04:59No more.
01:05:00JJ, I'm Jeremy.
01:05:02You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:05:15Please.
01:05:16Lex, I can't.
01:05:17I mean, I got a girlfriend.
01:05:18I really like this girl.
01:05:19Fine.
01:05:20It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties.
01:05:23With just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
01:05:24Oh.
01:05:25Ahh!
01:05:26We've got Lex for a long time.
01:05:27Oh, my God.
01:05:28I can't.
01:05:29You guys remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:05:31Please.
01:05:32Lex, I can't.
01:05:33I mean, I got a girlfriend.
01:05:34I really like this girl.
01:05:35Fine.
01:05:36It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties.
01:05:44with just a little string of pearl in front
01:05:47for extra stimulation.
01:05:49Oh.
01:05:54We've got, like, 30 minutes before she gets here.
01:05:56Perfect.
01:06:01Before she gets here.
01:06:02Perfect.
01:06:14Let's do it.
01:06:15Fuck me.
01:06:16Fuck me now.
01:06:21What?
01:06:22What's wrong?
01:06:23I can't.
01:06:24I can't get it in.
01:06:25Just try down there.
01:06:27It's like desert down there.
01:06:29It's sandpaper.
01:06:30I just...
01:06:31Okay, I get the picture.
01:06:33Just try it again.
01:06:36No.
01:06:37Why is this happening?
01:06:39We fooled around before.
01:06:41I was dripping wet.
01:06:42I came like four times, remember?
01:06:44Just do what you did then.
01:06:45Go on.
01:06:46I already did my thing.
01:06:47I already tried.
01:06:50What?
01:06:51What is different this time?
01:06:52I don't know.
01:06:54Last time...
01:06:58I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
01:07:00What?
01:07:02You're not JJ?
01:07:04But your name is Jeremy Jones.
01:07:06How can you not be JJ?
01:07:08Who the hell is this JJ?
01:07:10Where are you going?
01:07:12We're not done here.
01:07:13I can still do this.
01:07:14I just need a little bit of...
01:07:15What?
01:07:16I can do this.
01:07:17I don't need JJ.
01:07:18I don't need anyone else.
01:07:19We can do this.
01:07:22Go team.
01:07:27What?
01:07:28Just keep going.
01:07:33Shit.
01:07:34Where's Jeremy?
01:07:44Where's Jeremy?
01:07:45What?
01:07:46Uh, we were just...
01:07:47You know...
01:07:50Hey babe.
01:07:51Just working out.
01:07:56How could you, you bastard?
01:07:57You might wanna...
01:07:58What?
01:07:59What?
01:08:00Ah!
01:08:01Mariela!
01:08:02Mariela!
01:08:03Mariela!
01:08:04You know those aren't mine!
01:08:05At least not all of them.
01:08:06What is wrong with you?
01:08:07What is wrong with you?
01:08:08What is wrong with you?
01:08:09You used to be so pure.
01:08:10Well no more.
01:08:11That's it.
01:08:12Really.
01:08:13That's the last one.
01:08:15Actually.
01:08:16Oh!
01:08:17Seriously, girl, see you.
01:08:18Come on.
01:08:19Come on.
01:08:20All of them.
01:08:21What is wrong with you?
01:08:23What's wrong with you?
01:08:24You used to be so pure.
01:08:26Well no more!
01:08:27That's it.
01:08:28Really.
01:08:29That's the last one.
01:08:30Come on.
01:09:00Cheryl!
01:09:02What is it?
01:09:04What are you doing down here?
01:09:06Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:09:11What?
01:09:12Why?
01:09:13Nothing.
01:09:14Just this lying guy and his dog and...
01:09:16Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:09:18No, it's not okay.
01:09:20God.
01:09:21And you know whose fault it is?
01:09:23I'm sorry.
01:09:24It's Jake's.
01:09:26Jake's fault.
01:09:27That blind, cheating bastard.
01:09:29Yes.
01:09:30He is such a dickwad.
01:09:31You need to confront him.
01:09:32Yeah.
01:09:33Yeah, I need to confront him.
01:09:34I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:09:37Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:09:39You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:09:42Yeah, a big piece.
01:09:43A big old chunk of my mind.
01:09:45A big piece of it.
01:09:46Yeah.
01:09:47You know, you might want to...
01:09:49Oh, God.
01:09:50Oh, God.
01:09:51And you know whose fault it is?
01:09:52I'm sorry.
01:09:53It's Jake's.
01:09:54Jake's fault.
01:09:55You might want to...
01:09:56It's...
01:09:57You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:09:59Yeah, you're right.
01:10:00Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:10:02I don't know.
01:10:09I'm sorry.
01:10:10I'm sorry.
01:10:11I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:10:16I got no game.
01:10:18It's not important.
01:10:19Hey, um...
01:10:20Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:10:21No, no, no.
01:10:22I really need to talk to you.
01:10:23Really, Eric, I can't right now, sorry.
01:10:24No, no, no.
01:10:25I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier.
01:10:26And I'm just embarrassed and I want to make it up to you.
01:10:27Eric, really?
01:10:28I don't care.
01:10:29It's fine.
01:10:30No, but I do.
01:10:31I mean, I do.
01:10:32I care.
01:10:33And I'm just embarrassed and I want to make it up to you.
01:10:34Eric, really?
01:10:35I don't care.
01:10:36It's fine.
01:10:37No, but I do.
01:10:38I mean, I do.
01:10:39I care.
01:10:40I haven't known how to tell you.
01:10:41Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:10:42But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:10:44Sometime.
01:10:45And I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier.
01:10:47And I'm just embarrassed and I want to make it up to you.
01:10:50Eric, really?
01:10:51I don't care.
01:10:52It's fine.
01:10:53No, but I do.
01:10:54I mean, I do.
01:10:55I care.
01:10:56I haven't known how to tell you.
01:10:59Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:11:01But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:11:08Sometime.
01:11:09Soon.
01:11:10Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:11:14Really?
01:11:15Eric, you're shy.
01:11:16You have no game.
01:11:18Well, no, not really.
01:11:20Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:11:23Sorry.
01:11:24Okay.
01:11:25All right.
01:11:26I, uh, happy birthday, then.
01:11:32I'm sorry.
01:11:33I was trying to kiss you.
01:11:45I'm sorry.
01:11:46I was trying to kiss you.
01:11:55Wow.
01:11:56Here I come, baby.
01:11:57Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:12:09Oh, Eric, stop.
01:12:10Um, we can't do this.
01:12:11Sorry.
01:12:12Oh, God damn it.
01:12:13Not again.
01:12:14Sorry.
01:12:15Oh, no, um.
01:12:16Honey, happy.
01:12:17What the fuck is this?
01:12:18Who the hell are you, dude?
01:12:19Okay, guys, don't.
01:12:20Cheryl.
01:12:21Baby.
01:12:22What is this?
01:12:23Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:12:24You're...
01:12:25I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:12:26Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:12:27You couldn't find me?
01:12:28What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:12:30Cheryl, honey.
01:12:31No, no.
01:12:32We can work this out.
01:12:33Baby, I love you.
01:12:34Oh, no.
01:12:35Oh, no.
01:12:36Oh, no.
01:12:37Oh, no.
01:12:38Oh, no.
01:12:39Oh, no.
01:12:40Oh, no.
01:12:41Oh, no.
01:12:42Oh, no.
01:12:43Oh, no.
01:12:44Oh, no.
01:12:45Oh, no.
01:12:46Oh, no.
01:12:47Oh, no.
01:12:48Oh, no.
01:12:49Oh, no.
01:12:50Oh, no.
01:12:51Oh, no.
01:12:52Oh, no.
01:12:53Jake, no.
01:12:54You have to go.
01:12:55Baby, I'll be faithful from now on.
01:12:56Please.
01:12:57I promise.
01:12:58No, Jake.
01:12:59I can't do this.
01:13:00I'm sorry.
01:13:01Cheryl, come on.
01:13:02No.
01:13:03Jake, please.
01:13:04Just go.
01:13:05Just go.
01:13:06I'm sorry.
01:13:07You're a harmless bitch!
01:13:08How can you do it?
01:13:09Yay!
01:13:10You did it.
01:13:11I am so proud of you.
01:13:12You got your revenge sex.
01:13:13You've left him a mere shell of a man.
01:13:14Revenge sex?
01:13:17It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:13:20Right.
01:13:21It all makes sense now.
01:13:24Wow.
01:13:25I feel really stupid.
01:13:27Eric, I'm really, I'm really sorry.
01:13:30Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:13:33And you used me.
01:13:35Eric, please don't go.
01:13:36Please, Eric!
01:13:38Aren't you happy?
01:13:41Well, no.
01:13:42That's not exactly what I was supposed to feel like.
01:13:45Any mistakes?
01:13:46Was it?
01:13:47Yeah.
01:13:48No, we didn't quite do it.
01:13:49Oh.
01:13:50You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:13:52Really?
01:13:53I just never found the right guy.
01:13:54Or guys.
01:13:55Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:13:58People are starting to leave.
01:13:59I wonder how Sue did.
01:14:01I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:14:14This is bullshit!
01:14:15Oh!
01:14:16Oh!
01:14:17Oh!
01:14:18Oh!
01:14:19Dude, suck it!
01:14:20What the?
01:14:21God, I'm out of here!
01:14:23Yeah!
01:14:24He has good hair, though.
01:14:26Don't you puke on me.
01:14:31And don't puke in my car, either.
01:14:33Right, set, break, dot.
01:14:35I might need a vacation.
01:14:38Vacation, vacation.
01:14:41Take this information through your head.
01:14:45Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:14:49Was it from sex?
01:14:50Did you pop your cork?
01:14:51I don't think so.
01:14:52I'm out with the guy, anyway.
01:14:54Oh, don't ask.
01:14:56Every possible object.
01:14:58It's like every mechanical thing.
01:15:00It was like...
01:15:01Transformers.
01:15:02They just all became vibrators.
01:15:04I told you.
01:15:06It's addicting.
01:15:07So, what about Chris?
01:15:10Well, last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:15:12I told you he was gay.
01:15:13Oh.
01:15:14Well, I think I'm just...
01:15:16Oh, cramp.
01:15:18Oh.
01:15:19Oh.
01:15:20I think it's broken.
01:15:21So, wait.
01:15:22None of us cashed an RV card.
01:15:26Ha.
01:15:29Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:15:32So, I was gonna go grab some food.
01:15:34Wanna go?
01:15:35No.
01:15:37I think I should finish up here.
01:15:39Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:15:41No.
01:15:43I don't know.
01:15:44For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:15:47Or something.
01:15:48Why?
01:15:49Do you know him?
01:15:50Sort of.
01:15:51Oh.
01:15:52Well, hey.
01:15:53If you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:16:02Love him?
01:16:03Shut it.
01:16:04You wanna deal with him?
01:16:05I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:16:06You wanna get married?
01:16:07You wanna deal with him?
01:16:08I don't know.
01:16:35No.
01:16:36No way.
01:16:38Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:17:08It's you. I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:17:24Joanna.
01:17:33I'm coming.
01:17:43I'm coming.
01:17:48I'm coming.
01:17:53I'm coming.
01:18:59Oh.
01:19:01Yeah.
01:19:03I have to go see him.
01:19:08Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:19:11Mm-hmm.
01:19:11One-nine-hundred, confess.
01:19:24Sister Terese?
01:19:26Yeah, hon.
01:19:27Um, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:19:29I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:19:31Oh, sure.
01:19:33Oh.
01:19:34It's 271.
01:19:36Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:19:41Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:19:45Like, take you back?
01:19:47Sure, hon.
01:19:48Why not?
01:19:49As long as you're on the right path.
01:19:52Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:19:54I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:19:58Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:20:01Sister, can I get up now?
01:20:05I really gotta pee.
01:20:07No!
01:20:08Hush your trap!
01:20:10Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:20:15I will.
01:20:16Thanks.
01:20:20Sister?
01:20:21Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you sheep, fucker!
01:20:23Eric, wait!
01:20:46Eric, um, look, I am so sorry.
01:20:49Cheryl?
01:20:52Eric, um,
01:20:53Look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:20:57I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:21:00At the beginning, but then at the end,
01:21:01I didn't do that with you.
01:21:06The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:21:09Um, and I wasn't.
01:21:12I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:21:15The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:21:18Um, I...
01:21:20I do want to go out with you.
01:21:22And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:21:26I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these...
01:21:29Eric!
01:21:30Come on, I gotta get going.
01:21:34Oh.
01:21:35Wow.
01:21:35Um, Cheryl, um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister, Tina.
01:21:39Tina, Cheryl.
01:21:41Hi.
01:21:42Nice to meet you.
01:21:46Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:21:50When I get back?
01:21:52Yeah, sure.
01:21:53Oh.
01:21:59Sorry.
01:22:01No kissing, right.
01:22:02No, kissing.
01:22:02Oh.
01:22:03Hmm.
01:22:12Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:22:21I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:22:27Wait, what? I never did that.
01:22:30I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:22:31She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:22:38She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:22:41I wonder who it was.
01:22:51At least this birthday's over.
01:23:16Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:23:19I mean, if you could just...
01:23:21I don't know, like send me a sign.
01:23:51Excuse me, excuse me.
01:23:55Do you know where the church is?
01:23:57It's on Fountain Street.
01:23:59Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:24:02Or used to go to.
01:24:03Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:24:09You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:24:11Oh, um, I don't know.
01:24:13Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:24:23Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:24:28Like I said, you're more than welcome to torque.
01:24:31Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:24:33I don't think so.
01:24:37But thanks.
01:24:38What's your name?
01:24:39Sue.
01:24:40What's yours?
01:24:41Jesus.
01:24:43Really?
01:24:45Si.
01:24:45Maybe I could use the ride.
01:24:49If you haven't put it in, you want to use it?
01:25:03Oh, my God.
01:25:05Oh, Pooh!
01:25:06university in handyius.
01:25:08Oh, my God.
01:25:08Come on, deposit.
01:25:09Come on.
01:25:10I have no idea how to convert these trucks all over here,
01:25:12because of to make it plan for a season.
01:25:12You do not make it well or not?
01:25:13genetic review process,
01:25:13or try not to get to mate myself.
01:25:15You put a very random for the reason.
01:25:16That's okay.
01:25:17Almost you do not.