EastEnders 4th June 2025
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TVTranscript
00:00MUSIC
00:26Oh, smell that!
00:27Ah, you know what? I thought that was you.
00:30What told you about having a curry just before bedtime, eh?
00:32It's the smell of divorce.
00:34Shall I tell you what that is, Kat?
00:36That is the woody fragrance of hope, my love.
00:41Tinged with an underbelly of regret,
00:43but always believing that anything and everything is possible.
00:48That was Shakespeare right there, you know.
00:50See, what you've got to do, sweetheart,
00:51now you've got time to shake off the shackles of Phil Mitchell.
00:53Of course.
00:54Oh, listen, by the way, if I bring up the Harvey limo thing again,
00:57you're not going to kick off like last night, are you?
00:59It's a done deal now.
01:00Come on.
01:01And also, I'm going to have a chat with the photographer
01:03about the photo shoot next week,
01:04so if you want any input, I'll just do that.
01:06Yeah, great.
01:07Great.
01:08That'll be good.
01:09Gene, don't give him a tip
01:10unless he gets off his backside and helps with the cases.
01:13He's back.
01:14Gene, you're listening to me!
01:16What are you laughing at?
01:17I'm just laughing.
01:18What are you...
01:19They're not...
01:20It's funny!
01:21Just...
01:22I'll just sort that...
01:35Right, so, come on, then.
01:37What's your plan?
01:39I rang Dad first thing.
01:41And?
01:44I'm going for custody, Grant.
01:50I thought you'd be happy.
01:51I'm fighting for my boys.
01:53Peter, what about Lauren?
01:54You love her?
01:55No.
01:56No, no, no, not anymore.
01:59Oh, what, you think love is like a light switch
02:01you can just turn on and off?
02:03You should be grateful you've got a woman as strong as Lauren.
02:06As strong?
02:07Gran, she'll be back on the bottle any day.
02:09Any day.
02:10You know she tried the other day and Linda stopped her.
02:13So, no, I'm not leaving my boys with her
02:15and just hoping or praying that she don't relapse.
02:18It ain't happening.
02:19Well, maybe, if you work things out with her,
02:21she wouldn't need to relapse.
02:23You know what?
02:24Her people do stupid things at times.
02:27Look, darling, all I'm saying is
02:28don't be so quick to throw it all away.
02:31Just think about it.
02:33Before you go ahead and do something,
02:36that can't be undone.
02:44Come on, darling, you don't need Dutch courage.
02:46Look, you do things your way, I'll do them mine.
02:49Listen, she might not find out about it for a while.
02:51What planet are you on?
02:53The second she walks into the Vic,
02:55the second she walks into the shop,
02:57she'll find out that I've got into partnership with Harvey.
02:59Eh?
03:01Talk about your family sleeping with the enemy.
03:03Oh, no.
03:04That's when you were shacked up with Phil, remember?
03:06Shut up.
03:07It's like that saying, you know, when you fall off a bike.
03:09I've never had a bike.
03:11My dad said I never had the knees for it.
03:14No, you know, when you fall off and you've got to get back on it again.
03:18Well, what are you talking about bikes for?
03:19It's limos that Jean's going to be worried about.
03:22OK.
03:23Well, just tell it wasn't your fault, OK?
03:26And then you got duped into signing a deal before, yeah?
03:29I don't think she's going to care about the whys or wherefores.
03:32She's just going to look at me as Judas.
03:34She ain't going to be bothered.
03:35She ain't going to think about it.
03:36She's been on holiday.
03:37She's moving on.
03:38I bet she's having holiday romance.
03:39I'll give her a couple of days,
03:40it'll be some Greek bloke knocking on the door
03:42with a ring and a half-eating shish kebab.
03:44She stayed with Fat Elvis in his bungalow in Slough,
03:48not touring the meds.
03:50Oh, whatever.
03:51Come on, it's Jean.
03:52Just go and tell her.
03:54She's like the most understanding woman in the world, yeah?
04:02What are you doing here, Peter?
04:03I need to talk to you.
04:04I don't have time.
04:05Look, I'm sorry, OK?
04:07I'm sorry about being a bully about the kids.
04:10I am.
04:11Lauren, this whole thing, I'm out of my depths.
04:14I just want to do what's right for the boys.
04:16But I don't.
04:17That's what you said yesterday.
04:18Yeah, but I was wrong.
04:19Wrong.
04:20We've got to start fighting together, not each other.
04:22Alright.
04:23Well, what are you suggesting?
04:24Well, that we work harder.
04:26Whether it works out between us or not,
04:28we've got to put the boys first.
04:30Yeah, of course.
04:31And be honest with each other.
04:33How we're coping with it.
04:34You know?
04:35Honest?
04:36You don't think I'm being honest with you?
04:37No, yeah, I just mean, I mean how...
04:39Why are you even bringing honesty into this?
04:41I've just...
04:42I've got to move.
04:43I've got to go.
04:44Lauren, I'm in.
04:51You're late.
04:52OK.
04:53Well, we're only setting up.
04:54We don't start till tomorrow.
04:55That is not the point.
04:57I'm starting as I mean to go on.
04:59Felix, give him a job.
05:01Er, do you have a steady hand?
05:03Why?
05:04Back of the bar needs a touch-up.
05:05The paint is in.
05:06I'm not painting.
05:07I'm a barman, Felix.
05:08Yeah, well, like you said,
05:09we're not open till tomorrow.
05:10Come on.
05:11Be a team player.
05:12Come on.
05:15Hey.
05:16Has she paid you yet?
05:17What?
05:18She ain't paid me.
05:20It was.
05:24Morning.
05:25Oh, come on, George.
05:30You know, we need to be civil for the girls' sake.
05:35Civil?
05:37Well, as in fighting in the street or sleeping with my son?
05:40Oh, yes.
05:41I know I'm a complete failure, like most of my life.
05:45I wish I could turn about the clock.
05:47I really do.
05:48I'm sorry.
05:49Just words, Cindy.
05:50Did you have a nice time, then?
05:58Well, you go away for a couple of weeks
06:01and your fridge turns into a biohazard.
06:04Better to dream the world of good, eh?
06:06You must be joking.
06:08It done nothing for my sex life, neither.
06:10Fat Elvis kept going off the board cos of Moaning Myrtle.
06:13Moaning Myrtle?
06:15Yeah.
06:16She was in Harry Potter.
06:18Right, yeah, I know.
06:19Well, I didn't.
06:20So I sat through the box set twice
06:23just because I wasn't getting any action.
06:26Every time I got him in the mood,
06:28she never stopped wailing about Harvey.
06:31So she's still not over him?
06:33There's more chance of a donkey with three legs
06:36getting over Beaches Brook.
06:38Mo!
06:39Here we go.
06:40Never gets what I found under the bed.
06:42Hello, Jean.
06:43Oh.
06:44Did you have a nice trip?
06:45Harvey's lucky white fronts.
06:47Another slap in the face,
06:49reminding me of the best years of my life
06:51that I have wasted on that man.
06:58Cindy, a word.
07:00Oh.
07:01Interesting tone to use on your boss.
07:03Oh, a boss.
07:04Being the person who, what's that called again?
07:06Oh, yeah.
07:07Pay your wages.
07:08Yet we've been talking
07:09and none of us have been paid for last month.
07:11Look, come on.
07:12You know where these things go for budget.
07:14Our pay in a couple of months will be more established.
07:17Sorry, do I look like I work for free?
07:19Do any of us?
07:20Look.
07:21No, you look Cinderella.
07:22Look and watch as we walk out of here and stay walked out until you pay us.
07:27Let's go.
07:28Come on.
07:29Don't be stupid.
07:30We're all team players, aren't we?
07:36Alfie.
07:37Only just opened.
07:38Still, the early bird catches the worm and all that.
07:40Yeah.
07:41You okay?
07:42Er...
07:43No, not really.
07:44Well, I'm just...
07:45It's winding me up.
07:46You see, I'm...
07:47I'm organising this wedding photo shoot next week for the limo.
07:53Oh, yeah.
07:54Yeah, and, you know, we've got this idea for a big ad campaign where we've got to have
08:00the, you know, bride, groom, reception, that sort of thing.
08:03If you're looking for a bride, don't ask me.
08:05No, no.
08:06See, the thing is...
08:08I was thinking of asking Kat...
08:12Oh!
08:13To model?
08:14No.
08:15No.
08:16No, Linda.
08:17No, I was...
08:18I was thinking of asking her to marry me.
08:20Oh!
08:21Alfie!
08:22Has...
08:23Has her divorce come through, then?
08:25Yeah, just, but I just want to get in there quick before some other bloke comes swooping
08:28in, you know?
08:29If.
08:30She loves you.
08:31Yeah, no, I get it.
08:32But she did before, till she ended up marrying Andy Hunter.
08:34Who?
08:35I know you don't know him.
08:36He was a businessman that worked here Yonks ago.
08:39Anyway, I managed to stop it last minute at the altar.
08:42You know, I went tearing into me silver charger.
08:44Actually, no, it was Bill's chip van.
08:47Anyway, I just don't want to take the chance of that happening again.
08:49Oh, good for you.
08:51Yeah, but the thing is she's got so much on her mind at the moment, and I don't think
08:55now's the right time to pump the question.
08:57Well, there's plenty of time.
08:59Yeah, but...
09:00But this is the only thing I can think about at the moment.
09:03Well, look, if she loves you, then I say any time is a good time for a proposal.
09:07Now, are you having a drink or what?
09:08Come on.
09:09Hey.
09:10Maybe, you know, working out, sussing out the layer of the land, you know, before I drop
09:17the bombshell could work.
09:19It's a bit like, you know, remember Churchill, you know, planning dam busters.
09:23Anyway, it doesn't matter.
09:25Erm, OK.
09:26Save the world.
09:33Oh.
09:34Do you know, I've only ever loved four men in my life.
09:36Well, three, actually.
09:37And two of them have died.
09:39I'm not saying Harvey was my soul mate or anything, but...
09:43I'll tell you what really hurts.
09:46It's him looking me in the eye and blatantly lying.
09:51Cheating on me, going behind my back.
09:54And then the rejection.
10:01A therapist in hospital once told me that I've got abandonment issues
10:05on account of my dad walking out.
10:09That might be it.
10:11Oh, I don't know.
10:12All I do know is that I cannot bear this feeling of...
10:17not being good enough.
10:21No, you listen to me.
10:22You're good enough for anyone.
10:24Don't lie to me, Kat.
10:25I do know myself.
10:26Oh, for...
10:28You are never going to get over it with this attitude, alright?
10:30No wonder he chose Kathy.
10:33I'm sorry, look, you know I didn't mean that.
10:36You've just got to stop thinking that Harvey was your last chance of happiness.
10:40You've got to put Harvey and what he did behind you.
10:43He's not a monster like Rhys.
10:45He's just a bloke.
10:46He's not a bad person.
10:49How do I put him behind me?
10:52You've got to fake it to make it.
10:54You plaster a smile on your face and...
10:56when you see him, you wish him well in...
10:59his... new ventures.
11:02But I don't wish him well.
11:03No.
11:04If you pretend long enough, you start to feel it
11:06and then you're freeing yourself, aren't you?
11:08Freeing myself?
11:10Yeah, starting here, then the rest will follow.
11:13You know, what he does is nothing to do with you no more.
11:17Whatever path he chooses in life and who he takes along with him,
11:21it doesn't matter.
11:22It'll just be brilliant if you want to...
11:28Oh, God!
11:37How is she taking it?
11:39Listen, are you going to be long?
11:41Because there's something I want to ask you.
11:49Not there. They need to come inside.
11:50Just to the door, love.
11:52Oh!
11:54If they can get the paperwork finished in time,
11:55you should be able to move in next week.
11:57I'm glad you like that, flat.
11:59It'll be great having you round the corner.
12:01I need to buy a kettle.
12:03You need more than a kettle, son.
12:04I'll tell you what, you can have the toastie maker.
12:06Oh!
12:08We should help.
12:10No, this is not...
12:14Where's your staff?
12:16Oh, you mean the staff you've just walked out on me?
12:18Why'd they walk out on you?
12:21Who knows why Gen Z's and millennials do anything?
12:24Either you insulted big time, or you cut their wages.
12:28Or they found out I couldn't afford to pay them for the last month.
12:31I wouldn't mind, but it wasn't even my bar then.
12:33Why is the whole world against me, George?
12:36I'm trying to make a fresh start, not just with this place,
12:39but I need to prove to the girls that they can trust me,
12:43and that I love them,
12:44and they're the most important people in the world to me.
12:47In other words, they're all you've got left.
12:50Huh. Thanks, George.
12:52Sit the knife in, eh?
12:53Take your spanks a bit.
12:58Tell them about your flam.
13:00What about you?
13:02I'm gonna give her hand.
13:05Okay?
13:07So, where do you want these boxes?
13:08Er, just inside place, George.
13:10Okay.
13:11Yeah.
13:17Well, doesn't surprise me.
13:19Cheap is as cheap does.
13:21Exactamundo.
13:23Now, listen, this is on the house,
13:24so you know how much I value both.
13:26Thanks, Elaine.
13:28Now, don't you dare forget to be here tomorrow
13:30for my don't-break-my-mic night.
13:32Little bit of karaoke and some nibbles.
13:36Oh.
13:38So, how are things going with you and Felix?
13:39Er, yeah.
13:41Yeah, going good.
13:42Yeah?
13:43So he's your boyfriend?
13:45Well, we haven't made anything official,
13:48but, yeah, let's just say we're enjoying each other's company.
13:53Not a lot.
13:54Oh, sorry, honey. Sorry.
13:55You got a minute?
13:56Yeah, yeah, sure.
13:59Yeah, what's up?
14:00I, er...
14:01I need some legal advice.
14:03About custody.
14:04What, with Louis?
14:05Yeah, and Jimmy, both of my boys.
14:06Just in case it comes this week, mate,
14:07I need to be prepared.
14:09You, of all people, know what addicts are like,
14:11and Lauren could relapse at any minute.
14:13I'm just...
14:14I'm sick of giving her chance after chance.
14:17I can't trust her.
14:19So I've...
14:20I've got to put my boys first.
14:23Hello, darling.
14:25I'm into my flat next week.
14:26Yes!
14:27Well, how's it going?
14:29I need to get a kettle.
14:30Well, if you've got everything else, that's fantastic.
14:33Listen, I'm...
14:34I'm so happy for you.
14:35It'd be so good to get some independence.
14:42Well, that's something else I've got to celebrate.
14:44Oh, what's the other thing?
14:45The failure of Cindy's bar.
14:47Come on.
14:48Think of it.
14:49Oh, OK.
14:50Right, right.
14:51You've got it.
14:52You've got it.
14:54Kat.
14:56Now you've stepped out of the shadow of Phil Mitchell,
15:00you can now bask, you know, like this.
15:03You can now bask in the moonlight.
15:09You!
15:10Peeping through the window like a bleeding, peeping Tom.
15:14Well, I know.
15:15OK.
15:16It's only because I just didn't want to disturb you.
15:17That's all.
15:18Oh!
15:20That bunions and I've been playing up today.
15:23I just wanted to see how Jean was taking it, you know.
15:27I chickened out.
15:29I know.
15:30She won't forgive me.
15:31OK.
15:32Well, how about, um, some good news?
15:38I could settle for a plaster.
15:39OK.
15:41Wait.
15:42We are getting married next week.
15:48Oh.
15:49Don't give up your day job, will ya?
15:51Just hear me out, OK?
15:53Why have a fake wedding with a photoshoot
15:57when we can get Kathy and Harvey to cough up half the cash
16:00for the actual wedding?
16:02Come on, think about it, right?
16:03We'll have the big reception in the Vic,
16:05you in a white pavlova, me in a dicky, eh?
16:08You wanna fake marry me?
16:10No, I wanna marry you for real, but have a fake photoshoot!
16:13Who's put this rubbish in your head?
16:15So, what, what, I wanna marry you and you think it's rubbish?
16:20Alfie, we've been married.
16:22Yeah?
16:23And they're not married.
16:24And they're married again.
16:25OK, that's third time charm.
16:27Yeah, that's what serial killers say.
16:29You're for real, aren't ya?
16:38Yeah.
16:40Yeah, I'm for real.
16:42Cos, um...
16:44See, the thing is, Cat, right?
16:48I don't ever wanna lose you again.
16:51Ever.
16:53And I wanna make up for all the hurt
16:56that I've caused you over these years.
17:01And I'm hoping that me and you will grow old together.
17:05Like we always said, we would.
17:06And that we'll be wheeled into a care home together.
17:10We'll both be laughing and farting
17:13till our teeth drop out.
17:14So why aren't you on one knee?
17:20Well, you know, Daph...
17:21One knee!
17:22OK, right.
17:23Give me a sec.
17:24Cos you know I've got a dodgy.
17:25OK, why don't we do it?
17:26Oh, that hurts!
17:28Well...
17:31And?
17:33And what?
17:34Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry.
17:35I was, you know, I was rehearsing.
17:36Anyway, it doesn't matter.
17:37OK, um...
17:40Kathleen Slater.
17:41Previously Mitchell.
17:43Sure.
17:44OK, and previously Moon.
17:47Will you be...
17:50my beautiful, beautiful wife?
17:55For the third time.
17:59Yeah, all right.
18:01OK.
18:03Oh, well, OK.
18:05Come here, you.
18:06I love you.
18:07I love you.
18:08Oh, no!
18:09Hold on, no!
18:10He's got cramp.
18:11He's got...
18:12Oh!
18:13Hold on, no!
18:14Cramp.
18:15Oh!
18:16I've got cramp.
18:17Hang on.
18:18You're on me arm.
18:19I've got cramp!
18:21Oi.
18:22Did you see a Barney mugging Barney off?
18:24What?
18:25What's that?
18:26Ignore him, yeah.
18:27No.
18:28What are we talking about?
18:29Oh.
18:30He was waiting outside the school gates and then he tried to talk to her, but she just aired him.
18:33Like, you know, cos they hooked up and then he did something great.
18:35Barney and Barney?
18:36Dude, what a slapper.
18:38Shot it, bro.
18:39Well, that's true.
18:40That's what she is.
18:41First me, then Barney, one of you should get in there.
18:43That's free.
18:44That's easy.
18:45Tina, it's a big day.
18:47She's got no undoubt.
18:50No.
18:51No, I can't even believe you'd ask me that, to be honest.
18:53Well, look, I anguish this stuff.
18:55None of us will ever forgive you.
18:56Walk away.
18:57Just let the bar launch flop.
18:58And then you just wave goodbye to her as she buggers off in the back of the black cab.
19:02Cos, I mean, let's be honest.
19:03The minute she's got nothing left for us, she ain't even gonna say goodbye.
19:06Well, Peter's had a massive bust for Lauren.
19:08Anna's in Marbella.
19:09And take it for someone who never knew their real mum when you found yours.
19:12Now, you know, don't be so quick to turn your back on her.
19:16I'm gonna get you down for that.
19:17I'm gonna get you down for that.
19:18I'm gonna get you down for that.
19:19I'm gonna get you down for that.
19:20Damn.
19:21Custody?
19:22Of my kids?
19:23If you even try it, I'll make sure you never see either of them ever again.
19:40How did you find out about that?
19:42Honey, she told me all about your little conversation with Johnny.
19:45And just so you know, so you don't start accusing me yet, Honey is looking after Jimmy.
19:51I've not left him on the bar in the pub on his own.
19:54What do you want me to do, Lauren?
19:55Seriously, what do you want me to do?
19:56I'm not leaving them with you and just praying that you don't relapse.
19:59That's not happening.
20:00And even when I brought up honesty with you the other day, you went all weird like you're hiding something from me.
20:05Do you know?
20:08We're finished.
20:09We can't. Why would you...
20:10No.
20:11I mean it.
20:12We're done.
20:14For good this time.
20:15You know, you're just like your mum.
20:20You're scheming.
20:21Manipulating.
20:22I'm never gonna trust a single word you ever say to me again.
20:26We're not open.
20:35Cavalry's right.
20:39Oh.
20:40So you finally decided to acknowledge I still exist.
20:43I could go straight back out the door again.
20:45Sorry.
20:46She really does hate me, doesn't she?
20:51She's just inherited your ability to bear a crutch.
20:56After all the things that were said at Christmas, it's hardly surprising, is it?
21:00What is the point of doing any of this so my own kids can't stand the sight of me?
21:05Right.
21:06I've had a think.
21:07And I can hire you some agency staff and you can pay me back when you can.
21:20Why would you do that?
21:22For the girls and for Peter.
21:29You really need to make this work.
21:32But you also really need to stop letting them down.
21:40Right.
21:42Might as well make the most of me while I'm here.
21:45Come on.
21:46Yeah.
21:47All right, Varnie.
21:48I've been hearing about you and Barnyard.
21:49Speaking in my room.
21:50Hey, record this.
21:51Look, I just wanted to say that if you ever need anything, no, I'm still going to be here
21:52for you.
21:53So what?
21:54You're still interested, yeah?
21:55Yeah, of course I am.
21:56How about a kiss then?
21:57Okay.
21:58Yeah?
21:59Oh!
22:00Why'd you do that?
22:01Hey, Amy, post it.
22:02Married.
22:03I ain't fucking out for you two to get married.
22:04It's bad enough being tricked into a partnership with you.
22:06You're only paying for half of it.
22:07We're doing that bit.
22:08We're doing that bit.
22:09Yeah, I'm just kidding.
22:10I just wanted to say that if you ever need anything, no, I'm still going to be here
22:11for you.
22:12So what, you're still interested, yeah?
22:13Yeah, of course I am.
22:14How about a kiss then?
22:15Okay.
22:16Yeah.
22:17Oh!
22:18Why'd she do that?
22:19Hey, Amy, post it.
22:20Married.
22:21I ain't fucking out for you two to get married.
22:24Bad enough being tricked into a partnership with you.
22:29You're only paying for half of it.
22:30Cathy, respectfully, stop being grumpy.
22:33I think it's fantastic news.
22:35Yes, I do.
22:36But I do love love.
22:38You know, I can't help it.
22:39Love.
22:40Yeah.
22:41I've got an idea.
22:43Yes, I've got a vision.
22:45Bag scene, wedding planner, please.
22:46Yeah.
22:47Well, if I'm going into business with monkeys, I've got to be prepared to lose the odd crate
22:51of bananas, haven't I?
22:52And what's that supposed to mean?
22:53It means?
22:54All right, then.
22:55It's your funeral.
22:56It's my wedding, actually.
22:58Yeah.
22:59So, Kim, what ideas you got?
23:01Oh!
23:02Big ideas, mate.
23:03Make sure you make a massive, yeah?
23:05Because I want Cathy and Harvey to wince when they have to fork out.
23:09Now, a bit more, she'll write.
23:11Hang on.
23:12That's it.
23:13Right.
23:14Yeah, have a look.
23:15Come and look.
23:16Yeah.
23:17So, why are you keeping that gay bar?
23:20I mean, aren't you narrowing your market?
23:22Well, do you want me in direct competition with Vic?
23:24Well, no.
23:25I mean, people are either pub people or bar people.
23:27Well, I've done my research and there is not one single LGBT bar in this area.
23:33Plus, I can market this place much better than Cathy can.
23:37And also, do you know that most male strippers who work in gay venues are actually straight?
23:42Ah.
23:43So, you've got gay bars so you can meet straight male strippers.
23:46Ah.
23:47The carnage of...
23:49You're in here?
23:52She's got you wrapped right around her finger, hasn't she?
23:54No, no, she hasn't, no.
23:55Look, the only thing your dad is interested in is me proving to you that I'm not a complete failure.
24:02She already is a complete failure.
24:04No, no, no, no.
24:05That is where you're wrong, Gina, because I am actually a really good business woman
24:10and you could learn a lot from me.
24:12I mean, as a mother, yes, a complete and utter failure.
24:17I love the fact that I am.
24:20But the fact that you can't even look at me without that hurt and that anger in your eyes
24:27just makes me so ashamed.
24:30And I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what I've said and what I've done to you and Anna and Peter.
24:37I mean, it's a good job Steve and Lucy are dead, isn't it?
24:40Because at least I can't screw up their lives.
24:42Look, Gina.
24:44She's your mother.
24:45And despite everything, I believe, she sees this as her last chance to do the right thing by you.
24:52I do.
24:55Yeah.
24:56Okay.
24:57Well, what are we doing next?
25:00Um, well, er, these chairs all need sorting.
25:06We could put them in the storeroom.
25:10Please.
25:11Yeah, good idea.
25:14Right.
25:15Well, where's George disappeared after?
25:17I've no idea.
25:18And to be honest, I'm in too good a mood to care.
25:21If Cindy's bar fails, which it will, with any luck, she'll lift her skirt and hitch her right out of town.
25:27We can hope.
25:28Indeed we can.
25:29Oh no!
25:30Oh no!
25:31Oh no!
25:32Oh no!
25:33Oh no!
25:34Oh no!
25:35Oh no!
25:36Oh no!
25:37Oh no!
25:38Congratulations, mate.
25:39Yeah, nice one.
25:40Here's my one.
25:41Great things to come.
25:42Never give up.
25:43Let's never give up, my parents.
25:44Listen, I just wanna say, alright, putting my initial reaction aside, I wish you every happiness,
25:48Kat.
25:49Oh.
25:50Although, having the photos before the wedding,
25:52it's a bit like putting the cart before the horse, isn't it?
25:55Monkey, horse, anything else you want to call me?
25:57Oh, stop it.
25:58Ah, I've got a brilliant idea for the stag and hen.
26:01Oh, no, no, I'm not having one.
26:03Yeah.
26:03Oi, oi, oi, can't we talk about Kim?
26:04Of course we are, darling, we are.
26:05Look, I'm thinking joint party, I'm thinking iconic.
26:09Yeah, you'd have to be quick.
26:10Oh, tomorrow night?
26:11Yeah, let's do it tomorrow night.
26:12I'll organise it, yeah?
26:14I'm organising it as joint stag and hen.
26:16You mean a hag?
26:17Yeah, and what's a hag do without a theme?
26:20Let me tell you, I have got the perfect theme.
26:23More bubbly, everyone.
26:28That's not expected, I've only been gone a few days.
26:31They're not cheering us, you silly cat.
26:34Cat and Alfie are getting married.
26:38Right, what's she mean, you're getting married?
26:40I've never said anything before.
26:41I didn't know before, it happened so quick.
26:43Jean, whatever you're doing tomorrow, forget about it, yeah?
26:46I'm planning a joint stag and hen.
26:48Yeah, they're getting married next week.
26:50No, not exactly.
26:51We're going to have the reception and then we're going to wait a while.
26:54I'm a bit confused.
26:57Did you tell Harvey before me?
26:59No, it's not.
27:02Well, yeah, but it's not what it looks like.
27:04That's exactly what it looks like.
27:06You're trying to steal my family from me as well now?
27:08Drinking champagne?
27:09Why shouldn't you drink champagne?
27:11We're paying for half the wedding.
27:13What are you talking about?
27:14What's she talking about?
27:15You need to find out this way.
27:17Okay, what have you done?
27:18Okay, just, just, um, let's just pipe down, okay?
27:21It's nothing to get worked up over.
27:23It's just, um, well, me and Cat,
27:25we're going into a business partnership with Cathy and Harvey, all right?
27:28It wasn't my idea, all right?
27:30I agreed before I knew about the Harvey bit,
27:32but he's got all the contacts
27:33and I'm fighting a losing battle with all these cab apps.
27:36So you'd sell your own family down the river?
27:39That's rich coming from you.
27:42You're the one that went swanning off
27:44and left me dealing with Stacey climbing the walls.
27:46Oh!
27:48You marry Alfie and change your name back to Moon
27:51because as far as I'm concerned, you're no longer a Slater.
28:00Oh, dear.
28:03Well, life's a cabaret, new on BBC Three now.
28:06Glow up, ghost, theatrical,
28:08in the search for Britain's next make-up star.
28:11Now, does pop have more positive lyrics than indie?
28:14Radio One DJs play ranked.
28:16Press red now to watch on iPlayer.
28:18Here next, the repair shop hits the road.
28:20We're live on BBC Two now.
28:22Go wild with Springwatch.
28:30Go wild with Springwatch.
28:42Go wild with Springwatch.
28:42Go wild with Springwatch.
28:42Go wild with Springwatch.
28:43Go wild with Springwatch.
28:44Go wild with Springwatch.
28:45Go wild with Springwatch.
28:46Go wild with Springwatch.
28:47Go wild with Springwatch.
28:48Go wild with Springwatch.
28:49Go wild with Springwatch.
28:50Go wild with Springwatch.
28:51Go wild with Springwatch.
28:52Go wild with Springwatch.
28:53Go wild with Springwatch.
28:54Go wild with Springwatch.
28:55Go wild with Springwatch.
28:56Go wild with Springwatch.
28:58Go wild with Springwatch.
28:59Go wild with Springwatch.