Derek Sheen: Holy Drivel | movie | 2023 | Official Trailer - video Dailymotion

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Amid today's unholy drivel, some facts aren't flexible: gay men have the best yard sales, emotions can break your brain, | dG1fVTMxR2cwZzRGd1U

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00:00My best friend and his wife flew into town and brought their six-month-old baby daughter with them.

00:07And they let me hold the baby.

00:09And that's a big goddamn deal, okay?

00:12Because they trusted me to hold, and I hope I'm pantomiming holding the baby correctly.

00:19Because if you've never held the baby, it is a beautiful, enriching experience

00:23where you have a beautiful, malleable, and innocent life form who trusts you

00:29with everything.

00:31And that's a huge responsibility for one human to another.

00:35And it was so amazing.

00:38And she reached up with her little finger and touched my lips,

00:41and I was like, holy fuck, this hurts inside.

00:44I want one of these so bad.

00:45I want a baby.

00:50And my brain goes, hey, you're starting to get overly emotional.

00:56And our shield against public emotions and shows of weakness are to make jokes

01:02so that we can sort of break the ice.

01:05So what we should do right now is something to break the moment up.

01:08And I go, you're right, brain.

01:10Let's do that.

01:11And my brain goes, let's just use the nickname, just a cute nickname.

01:22And we will just call the baby a cute nickname, and then that'll make it okay.

01:26And they'll laugh, and you'll laugh, and it's innocent.

01:29And so I pick the nickname, and it's going around in a circle down my brain,

01:35through my cerebellum, through my spinal column.

01:36It's about to come out of my mouth.

01:40You ever had another word take the emergency staircase?

01:47Shoulder check that fucking word?

01:52Until what comes out of your mouth is like eight different words.

01:56And it's okay when you do it.

01:58It's innocent, and it's like a brain fart, and you're like, ah, blab him.

02:01And that doesn't mean anything.

02:02But it's not okay when you are holding your best friend's six-month-old baby daughter.

02:09And what comes out of your mouth is,

02:12who's Uncle Derek's little cookie pussy?

02:16That is not okay.

02:20That is never okay.

02:28Here's your baby back.

02:29I'm really sorry about that.

02:32I'm going to go talk to my brain for a second,

02:38and figure out what the fuck a cookie pussy is.

02:43It's two of my favorite goddamn words separately.

02:47Never together.

02:48Never.

02:49Those two words should never meet.

02:51What the brain?

02:53What the fuck?

02:53And a cookie pussy?

02:55Ah!

02:56Why would you want to?

02:57Ah!

02:58And it's probably oatmeal raisin,

03:00the least tasty cookie pussy of all.

03:02It's not fun for anybody.

03:04Everybody's disappointed.

03:05They came to the party.

03:06They were hoping for some chocolate fudge chunk.

03:08You give them fucking oatmeal raisin pussy,

03:10they're out of there.

03:11No fun for anybody.

03:12They came to the party.

03:13They came to the party.

03:14They came to the party.

03:15They came to the party.

03:16They came to the party.

03:17They came to the party.

03:18They came to the party.

03:19They came to the party.

03:20You

Derek Sheen: Holy Drivel | movie | 2023 | Official Trailer

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