00:00I'm not gonna lie.
00:01I have been through it, sister.
00:03And if it wasn't for my girls nurturing me back to life, I'm not sure where I would be.
00:09If it wasn't for them, I don't think my heart would really come back to form.
00:13It would have been back there, down in the dumps, flat.
00:23So I've written a lot of the music on the album with this writer named Nasri.
00:28Nasri has the ability to get a lot of things out of me that I don't really be telling people.
00:34And at the time, I think I was just going through something where I just felt redundant.
00:39I feel like I constantly experience the same thing over and over again when it comes to love.
00:45But I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to see it as a positive and I'm trying to not allow
00:52myself to have these experiences hard in me as a person.
00:55And I was taking pride in that.
00:57And I think I was just telling him, I'm like, yeah, I'm going through this.
00:59But you know what?
01:00Whatever.
01:01I'm gonna do it again.
01:01And I'm gonna find somebody else.
01:02And I'm gonna love again.
01:03And I'm gonna do it.
01:04And I'm gonna do it.
01:05And then we create a memory foam.
01:07There's always a lot of weight on my chest after the heartaches and all of that, but I'm always
01:26able to bring it back to its normal form in order to love somebody else.
01:32And he just compared it to memory foam and I thought it was genius.
01:35Maybe it's unrealistic, foolishly resilient to me just feels like sometimes I question whether
01:50my resilience is for a reason or not.
01:53The same thing happens in a different way over and over again.
01:57It's like, damn, am I dumb?
01:58Am I a fool?
01:59Am I doing something wrong?
02:01Is it me?
02:02But I can guarantee you it's not me.
02:22The tea about the video games.
02:24This was not a young love.
02:26You would think it was when I was in middle school.
02:28No, I was an adult.
02:29But what sealed the deal for me, during the pandemic he got addicted to video games.
02:35Streaming video games.
02:36I said, I'm losing to this one.
02:38I'm not even gonna fight for that.
02:39I wish him the best.
02:40He's a great guy.
02:41It was just weird times.
02:43Pandemic.
02:44We were lost.
02:52You would think trying again gets easier.
02:54For some reason in my experience, they get worse.
02:58I don't know what's going on, necessarily.
03:01I'm gonna keep trying, but something's wrong.
03:05It's not me.
03:05I feel like I'm evolving.
03:07I feel like I'm growing.
03:08I'm in my bag.
03:09My heart's like a blade of grass, and you can cut it to pieces, but it keeps going back.
03:24Another Nasri, a blade of grass.
03:26I will give him credit where I do.
03:28I guess he's good at songwriting or whatever.
03:31Because I would never say blade of grass.
03:32He is taking me out of my comfort zone.
03:35I wouldn't have thought of that.
03:36But it's so true.
03:37Actually, it's funny.
03:37When he said it, I was like, so whack.
03:41But then I was like, wait a second.
03:42It is like a blade of grass.
03:44Think about it.
03:44When it doesn't work out, it just felt like the trying again was pointless.
03:59But I will say every time I do try something again, and I do give somebody the opportunity,
04:04and I let somebody in, I learn something about myself.
04:08You know, I'm not perfect.
04:09Whatever, bro.
04:11I got an attitude problem, Anne.
04:13But I will say, every time I'm with somebody, they teach me something new about myself,
04:18and what I want, and what I don't want, and something I gotta fix, which is not much.
04:23But yeah, it really isn't a poor decision.
04:26But in the moment, it just is like, damn, why did I waste my time doing that?
04:38So I'm not typically an anxious person.
04:56I'm very intuitive.
04:58So if I am anxious about something, it's because my heart is telling you, girl, something's wrong.
05:06So with this last person, it is quite literally the last person I was talking to.
05:10I'm not gonna lie.
05:10They made me feel like I was an anxious person.
05:14Anxious slash insecure slash I got problems.
05:17When it turns out, no, no, no.
05:18This was my body in fight or flight and telling me that something is wrong.
05:23So the only side that they were able to see, it wasn't even the best side of me.
05:27It was just filled with anxiety.
05:36I was nervous that the again and again and again was gonna be annoying.
06:05Even when I was singing acapella, I was like, I'm annoying myself.
06:08But I knew what I wanted it to sound like and I know what I wanted to feel like when I'm performing
06:14and I know what I wanted it to mean.
06:16And so just the musicality of it all, I was like, let's start off really soft
06:21and I want to progress and get it bigger and bigger and bigger.
06:23Because I want that to feel like a relief for people when they're listening to it.
06:27That is literally how the song started for me was the bridge, which I've never done that before.
06:33And I was like, I want to get here at some point.
06:49My idea of the one, hopefully he really likes to cook because I like to eat.
06:54I don't like to cook.
06:55Hopefully he likes to cook.
06:55On a serious note, I think I just want somebody, like I said earlier, to only enhance my life.
07:00I'm very blessed and fulfilled in every other aspect.
07:04There's just a little tiny hole that I'm trying to fill eventually with love, an intimate love.
07:10The last line of the song is a little bit more vulnerable than I've even felt comfortable being
07:16in the past.
07:17Because I think it's just, for me, an admission that it's something that I really want in my life.
07:22I genuinely want to be in love and for it to be reciprocated in the most healthy way.
07:28I think it's important for people to hear that because maybe it's something we're afraid to admit.
07:33Because we want to come off as a strong, independent woman, which I am, but damn!
07:38There's only so much self-love I could do, girl!
07:42The music video for Memory Foam, I thought it was important for me to highlight how important
07:49my girls are in my life.
07:50They have been there for me through everything and we always talk about in the future when we
07:55do find that person, how beautiful it's going to be for us to look back at everything we went through together.
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