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Cinema Series US Film
  • 2 days ago
Poker Face Season 2 Episode 1

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Transcript
00:00So what's it like to leave everything behind and start fresh?
00:04It suits me. You get to meet all sorts of people, all sorts of lives.
00:08All sorts of lies?
00:09I got no idea.
00:11I have this thing. Bullshit. I can tell if someone's lying.
00:14Bullshit.
00:15It's a whole thing. It would take too long to explain.
00:17It's fine. I don't care.
00:18Bullshit!
00:19The real trick of it is to figure out why someone is lying.
00:21You ever think about joining the FBI?
00:23I'm not really about helping the man.
00:25I'm giving you an opportunity to work with me.
00:27We're gonna fleece this son of a bitch.
00:30I lost a friend. Natalie. She was my best friend.
00:35She did the right thing when she saw something awful.
00:38And you killed her for it.
00:45Charlie Cale.
00:46And Beatrix Asp, right?
00:48I'm here with the five families.
00:50There is no corner of the country deep enough to hide from us.
00:53We're gonna find you.
00:54Well, Bea, let's all of us find out together.
01:00Where are you from?
01:02Bye-bye.
01:02We're going live.
01:04We're gonna try to play.
01:05Godpeut.
01:12And we're gonna see...
01:18We're gonna see...
01:27Oh, yeah.
02:27Artist?
02:28Mm-hmm.
02:29That spangled garbage.
02:32Artist.
02:33You'll be the Gauguin of Etsy.
02:36Well, I wouldn't expect you to understand, Mother.
02:39Oh, no.
02:40But you do expect me to keel over, leave you my fortune, and bankroll your little artist's
02:47journey.
02:48Mother, don't be so morbid.
02:50I see you.
02:51I see what you're doing.
02:54Oh, that faithful child.
02:58So selfless, caring for that mean old woman.
03:03Can I get you anything else?
03:07Four daughters.
03:08And the one I kept closest is my biggest disappointment.
03:12Yes, well, my other sisters are not here.
03:15Washing your foot rags, cutting your charcuterie, and making you delicious homemade soup.
03:20It's tepid.
03:21Oh, good.
03:22Paul's here.
03:23Lawyer, Paul.
03:24Yes, I have to get my affairs in order.
03:27But we already made your will.
03:28We did it together.
03:29The doctor says that within weeks, my heart will give out.
03:42Once you're staring into the eyes of death, Amber, you realize what's really important.
03:50Rewarding those people who didn't disappoint you in life.
03:56Fetch me my ham.
04:01Paul?
04:02Amber.
04:03You look very nice.
04:18Paul, please, um, you have to tell me, what did she do?
04:25Look, no matter how much sympathy I have for your situation, I legally can't say.
04:32It's a confidential matter, and I could lose my license if I-
04:34Please.
04:35And I almost cut you out of the will.
04:37She what?
04:38Oh, God.
04:39Sorry, that was, like, involuntary.
04:40I'm a- I'm a people pleaser, and I- and I- that's my problem.
04:44But please don't tell her that I told you that.
04:46She can't.
04:47She- I- I've taken care of her when she's been sick this whole time, and my sisters have
04:51gone off and lived their life, and I've been here!
04:53I deserve this!
04:54I earned this!
04:55How could she be so cruel?
04:56No.
04:57Not your sisters.
04:58They're- they're not getting anything either.
05:00Well, then who's getting the fortune?
05:02My mom doesn't have any friends.
05:04She calls charity, organized, malinkering.
05:05No, Amber, no.
05:06I- I- I can't tell you.
05:08Legally, morally, the- the- the trust that is the bedrock of my profession forbids-
05:12Please.
05:13A woman named Felicity Price.
05:15Shit.
05:18Um.
05:19She gets the house, the money, the royalties.
05:22I'm not to make contact until after Norma dies.
05:23She doesn't want to be disappointed, and now I'm getting in the car before you can ask me anything else.
05:26Sorry.
05:32Who the fuck is Felicity Price?
05:34Only about lunch.
05:38Only about much.
06:08Felicity Price?
06:23Hi. I'm Amber. And I think we may be...
06:30This is a lot to process. I mean, I never knew. How did you find out?
06:48I was at a gallery show asking about a piece that I just loved when I saw your artist's photo and I almost passed out.
06:57Wow. Just... wow. It's... cool look.
07:03I took that before I moved out here. Off the grid.
07:08If you ask anyone in the art world who Felicity Price is, that's who they will describe.
07:14And I don't even recognize that person anymore.
07:18I, um... I've been completely isolated for about a year now.
07:24Stripped everything away. Fashion. Style. To see what was left.
07:32Only the art can reveal the artist, right?
07:36Totally. I'm also an artist. I, um... I make polymer clay figurines. Um, and I've been featured three times on Etsy.
07:46Cool.
07:47Cool.
07:51Wow.
07:53A long-lost twin.
07:55It's like finding a missing piece of myself.
07:58It's hilarious, isn't it?
08:02Did you, uh... Did you grow up with our dad?
08:05Oh, shit. Um...
08:08Yeah, um...
08:12We had the same dad.
08:17Benny's dead.
08:19Yeah, I'm sorry if you wanted to meet him.
08:22If it's any consolation, he was a complete asshole.
08:25He drove us drunk straight into a light pole when I was 17.
08:29How horrible.
08:31What about our mom?
08:33Dad. Yeah. Dad. Norma.
08:35She had this rare disease. All of her bones shattered inside her.
08:39It was so agonizing. So much pain and so much...
08:43Screaming.
08:46Wow.
08:50Uh...
08:51Yeah.
08:53Hey, um...
08:55I am actually a photographer. Kind of.
08:58On the side.
08:59And I could take a new, uh...
09:01Artist's photo.
09:03If you want.
09:04Maybe outside with your work?
09:08Sure.
09:11That's great.
09:13You look really cool.
09:18These are fantastic.
09:20You photograph so well.
09:24Do you have a cell? I can text them to you.
09:26No, but, um...
09:27I check my email at the public library.
09:29Every couple of days I can...
09:31Write it down for you.
09:32Oh, wow. Yeah, that'd be great.
09:33That's...
09:34That would be great.
09:45Amber, are you feeling okay?
10:07My mother's dying, Paul.
10:08How do you think I'm doing?
10:15You look like that little fat plumber in the movies.
10:45Mario wears red overalls.
10:49You knew who I was talking about, didn't you?
10:52It's okay.
11:07You can go now.
11:11I'm ready.
11:14I'm ready.
11:26I'm ready.
11:27I'm ready.
11:28I'm ready.
11:29I'm ready.
11:30I'm ready.
11:31I'm ready.
11:32I'm ready.
11:33I'm ready.
11:34I'm ready.
11:35I'm ready.
11:36I'm ready.
11:37I'm ready.
11:38I'm ready.
11:39I'm ready.
11:40I'm ready.
11:41I'm ready.
11:42I'm ready.
11:43I'm ready.
11:44I'm ready.
11:45I'm ready.
11:46I'm ready.
11:47I'm ready.
11:48I'm ready.
11:49I'm ready.
11:50I'm ready.
11:51I'll just show you mine.
11:52Period.
11:53Are you free next Friday?
11:54Heart emoji.
11:55You're late.
12:08I'm sorry, Miss Kaczynski.
12:09My sisters are inside.
12:10You can just drop it with them.
12:25You can leave the key inside.
12:49Nobody comes out here.
12:50So I got this weird email from this lawyer guy who says our mom died and there's a will,
12:58but you said our mom already.
13:00What in the living fuck?
13:03I thought you'd be flattered.
13:06You gotta be kidding me.
13:08This is ridiculous.
13:10What is this?
13:11You have everything I want.
13:17Everything I deserve.
13:18What is happening?
13:46Hi, sisters.
13:48I know you all didn't love mom, but she was my world, and I loved her, and I can't go on without her.
13:55So I've come to the bluff to jump.
13:58So when you see my body at the bottom of the bluff by our house, that's me.
14:05I'm sorry.
14:05I'm sorry.
14:06I'm sorry.
14:21No, no, no, no, no, no!
14:51You're supposed to be me!
15:05They're all gonna know that you're not me!
15:07How am I supposed to fake this?
15:08What am I supposed to do?
15:10Why is nothing ever easy?
15:21What am I supposed to do?
15:51What am I supposed to do?
16:21What am I supposed to do?
16:25What am I supposed to do?
16:29What am I supposed to do?
16:33What am I supposed to do?
16:35What am I supposed to do?
16:39What am I supposed to do?
16:43What am I supposed to do?
16:45What am I supposed to do?
16:47What am I supposed to do?
16:49What am I supposed to do?
16:51What am I supposed to do?
16:53What am I supposed to do?
16:55What am I supposed to do?
16:57What am I supposed to do?
16:59What am I supposed to do?
17:03What am I supposed to do?
17:05What am I supposed to do?
17:06What am I supposed to do?
17:07What am I supposed to do?
17:08What am I supposed to do?
17:09What am I supposed to do?
17:10What am I supposed to do?
17:11What am I supposed to do?
17:12What am I supposed to do?
17:13What am I supposed to do?
17:14What am I supposed to do?
17:15What am I supposed to do?
17:16What am I supposed to do?
17:17What am I supposed to do?
17:18What am I supposed to do?
17:19What am I supposed to do?
17:20What am I supposed to do?
17:21What am I supposed to do?
17:22What am I supposed to do?
17:23What am I supposed to do?
17:24What am I supposed to do?
17:25What am I supposed to do?
17:26What am I supposed to do?
17:27What am I supposed to do?
17:28What am I supposed to do?
17:29matchbooks baby shoes the unobserved pageant of the ordinary I mean the
17:37tales these cars could tell yeah hey how's that book very second-wage
17:45yeah Charlie Kale Beatrix hasp says a lot
17:55Well, that's what I'm saying.
18:13Late-stage capitalism is turning us all into zombies.
18:16That's why we have to unionize.
18:19I'm sorry.
18:20Are you saying I'm a zombie?
18:21Because I'm pretty sure I'm a mummy, so...
18:23I don't know.
18:25Here they come.
18:25Ready?
18:38Oh, shit!
18:45Gangs versus zombies!
18:46Gangs versus zombies!
18:48Gangs versus zombies!
18:50Gangs versus zombies!
18:55Gangs
19:09Hey!
19:10Pick up the picking pace, please.
19:12Oh, gotcha.
19:13Sorry, yeah.
19:14I just, uh...
19:14Takin in the rich pageant of...
19:16Uh, yeah. Yeah, sorry about that.
19:23You! Hey! Hey, you!
19:27We know this girl's working here. You seen her?
19:30Uh, she quit yesterday. Couldn't take the heat.
19:32Shit. Did she say where she was going?
19:34No. Sorry.
19:45Shit.
19:46I, uh, thank you.
19:55Yeah. Picking pace.
19:58Pick it up pronto.
20:00No problem. Apples all day.
20:01Can I ask you who you're hiding from?
20:18Oh, I'm not. Well, you know how it is. You crossed the wrong, uh, crime boss or five. It's a long story. You don't need to hear this.
20:27Not, not really, no.
20:28Yeah.
20:35Are you all right? Me? Yeah.
20:37Yeah, I'm cool. Okay. It's just like, uh, that uncanny thing where it's like, uh, you know, you've seen somebody before, like you grew up with them or something.
20:47Uh, when you were little, did you ever watch a show called Kid Cop Nights?
20:52No way.
21:02Yeah.
21:02Uh, excuse me. Kid Cop Nights over here. No, no, no, no. Stop. Stop. Stop.
21:05My God.
21:06Please, I'm so sorry.
21:07Oh, my. Would you? Wait, what? Did you just do it? I knew it.
21:10I knew it. I knew it.
21:11Let it go. Come on. I can't. I can't.
21:13Oh, shit.
21:13I went in too deep, Chief. I don't know where I start. And Crystal the Drug Mule ends.
21:43Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, butt munch.
21:49Huey.
21:50Yeah.
21:51Delia, did she?
21:52No offense, man, but that is some bad acting.
21:55None taken. That's not me. That's Amber, my sister. Or Hamber, as we like to call her.
22:01Get out.
22:02So you're an identical twin.
22:03Oh, no, no, no.
22:07Clone two, three, four. What do you call that? Freaky?
22:09Uh, quadruplets. We all played Kid Cop.
22:11That's the only way you can make 23 episodes a year, when you decide to set a kid show shot entirely at night.
22:17Gosh, boy, man, that sounds like a fun childhood, right?
22:23Yeah.
22:27Could have been.
22:29It wasn't for Norman.
22:31It's like a stage mommy type.
22:33Norman pitted us against each other every chance she got.
22:36I don't think we ever really recovered.
22:41She gave me my first drink, my second drink, and my 15th to settle my nerves on set.
22:52I went to five rehabs before I realized I had to cut her out of my life to get sober.
22:59Ma'am.
23:00Huh?
23:00The show ran forever. I'm doing the math. Why are you picking apples for a living?
23:06Norma took every cent.
23:08If I had a tenth of what I made back then, I could buy the old man out of his apple operation when he retires, and I could be my own boss.
23:17Every man's dream.
23:20What's yours?
23:21Oh, uh, not getting shot.
23:24Oh, come on. It's gotta be more than that.
23:26Introspection, it just makes me queasy. I, uh, tumble up, huh?
23:32What I would love, me personally, the one where Kid Cop faces off against the Zodiac Killer. Come on.
23:37You know it's a classic. Come on.
23:39All right.
23:39Oh, yes.
23:40Please.
23:43Yeah.
23:50Good. Good.
23:51Good.
23:56Hiya, partner. How you doing?
24:00Uh, Norma died.
24:01What?
24:03Ah, shit, I'm sorry. I think. How are you doing?
24:06Funeral's tomorrow. I asked if I could borrow a truck, but the old man can't spare one. It's gonna take at least a day to get there by bus. I'm not gonna make it.
24:14Are you sure you really wanna go to the funeral?
24:16Well, it's the only chance I can get my money back, but, and I'm sure Norma gave it all to Amber. Maybe I can talk her into sharing it with us.
24:23No, no, hey, it's okay. I'll, I'll drive.
24:25Wait, he's not gonna hold your job.
24:27Oh, no. Oh, I'm gonna lose my pension.
24:29Come on. Shit, man. I'm sorry.
24:32All right, so listen.
24:47Just like, uh, get in, get out, get the cash, buy the orchard, press-o.
24:53Good luck, buddy.
24:59Do you, uh, do you wanna come in for a minute?
25:03I mean, will your sisters really wanna have me at the wake?
25:08Trust me, nobody in there is mourning.
25:11Please.
25:11Well, I am a little curious to see all four Kid Cops in action.
25:19Leave the keys in the car. Nobody ever comes here.
25:23All right, boss.
25:25Okay.
25:27Four Kid Cops.
25:30Wow-wee.
25:31Yeah.
25:31Oh, boy.
25:34Hello?
25:35Oh, Kid Cop money, huh?
25:37Oh, shit.
25:42Phoebe?
25:44Hello?
25:45Good day.
25:45Cece?
25:47I'm here.
25:52Dee Dee.
25:53Oh, this is not gonna get confusing at all. Hi.
25:57No, thank you.
25:58Oh, right, yeah.
26:00I forgot.
26:02You're boring now.
26:03Okay, everyone, this is Charlie from work.
26:06She gave me a ride.
26:07Oh, hey, I'm, uh, I'm really sorry for your loss.
26:12Okay, uh, Charlie, this is Bebe.
26:15She's a DJ.
26:16Yeah, I noticed, uh, cool cans.
26:19Hey.
26:19And this is Cece.
26:20She's a teacher.
26:21Associate Professor of Comparative Literature.
26:25Wow.
26:26Uh, how'd you get French?
26:28Cece took a year of post-grad in Quebec City,
26:31and now she can't get over it.
26:33What Bebe does not understand
26:34is that one adopts the accent of one's peer group.
26:37This is why Dee Dee sounds like she grew up on a troller ship.
26:40Oh, okay.
26:43Have you guys seen the well?
26:45I assume that's why we're all here.
26:47Norma's lawyer's on the way.
26:48We all know who's getting everything.
26:49The best we can hope for is that Amber throws us a crumb.
26:52Well, where is Amber?
26:53Amber took a walk to process her new life as an orphan.
26:58She's been really bonkers lately.
27:00Even for Amber.
27:01You will love this.
27:04Hey.
27:05That's Amber.
27:06And she's been blowing up the group chat for weeks with this craziness.
27:09Look at that nose ring.
27:10Ugh.
27:11It's just a cry for attention.
27:13Oh, gosh.
27:14I mean, doesn't that mean she might just need help or something?
27:16Merde, non.
27:18Merde.
27:19Oh, jeez.
27:20Amber just sent another video.
27:22Oh, I cannot take Amber right now.
27:25Oh, wow.
27:28Gosh.
27:28Boy, oh, boy.
27:30You guys were really hot stuff for a minute, huh?
27:33Oh, what's this big boy for?
27:36Pointy.
27:37That's the Latvian Critic Award for Best Intergenerational Kiss.
27:41We won it five times in a row.
27:45Oh.
27:46Well, I'm sorry.
27:49So, favorite co-star?
27:51Oh, Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
27:53Kid Cop's first love.
27:55Ah.
27:56No.
27:57Tamara Dobson.
27:58She played the ghost of her paternal great-great-grandmother in Kid Cop Civil War Christmas.
28:03I forgot that it was so metaphysical.
28:05It's ahead of its time, really.
28:07Well, season nine took place entirely in the mind of a coma patient that Kid Cop's evil twin shot in the neck.
28:12It was a beautiful season in a coma.
28:14It's gorgeous.
28:15Oh, my gosh.
28:18Amber on the bluff.
28:31Amber.
28:32Oh, we know.
28:35Yeah.
28:39I understand why I would be in this position.
28:42Why would you let this happen without the rest of us knowing?
28:46Did Amber know about this?
28:47Who is Felicity Price?
28:48And how was Norma making that much in royalties?
28:51Yes, Amber knew about the will.
28:52Felicity Price is your secret fifth sister.
28:55Kid Cop is huge in Indonesia.
28:56Paul.
28:58Our mom just died.
28:59Amber just jumped off a bluff.
29:01And now there's a secret sister that's getting our inheritance.
29:06Gee, it's a lot when you say it all together like that.
29:10I'm sorry.
29:11That's probably her now.
29:22Thanks for coming.
29:25Can't find this missing foot.
29:27Lady Diana here.
29:28She got the best news in this.
29:30She'll find it.
29:30Wait, I'm sorry.
29:32You couldn't find the foot?
29:34What could have happened to it?
29:36On a public beach?
29:38Anything.
29:42This is fucked.
29:44I mean, long lost twins.
29:45It's so funny.
29:47It's like discovering a piece of myself.
29:49Pieces of myself.
29:51I don't want.
29:52Yeah, they gotta stop feeding these girls after midnight.
29:55I'm a mixed media artist.
29:57I work out of Vermont.
29:58Bullshit.
29:59I grew up on the run with our father, Benny.
30:02No, you didn't.
30:03He was a gambler.
30:05He died in a car crash when I was 17.
30:08I was with him in the car.
30:10What are you going to do with our money, Felicity?
30:13What my sister means is we understand that this must feel like a crazy windfall for you, but we earned that money from our TV show.
30:20Norma stole it from us when we were kids.
30:22She treated us like trash.
30:23Especially Amber.
30:25Oh, I wish I would have taken her more seriously.
30:28You do?
30:29Well, she was a hard person to take seriously.
30:32We could have tried, though.
30:34Even with her hemi acting.
30:35Oh, merde.
30:36Oh, Amber.
30:38I thought she won a People's Choice Award in R3.
30:41Oh, weak year.
30:43It was a weak year.
30:44And she kept trying to make butt munch happen as a catchphrase.
30:47Like, read the room.
30:49Vaguely homophobic.
30:51How?
30:52Oh.
30:52And then, after the show, she just lived a tragic, pathetic life.
30:57Groveling to mom, dressed like a dust bowl or key.
31:00Begging us to, like, post her sad Etsy sculptures.
31:05And the Spangles.
31:05Oh, my gosh.
31:07Ugh, the Spangles.
31:09She wrote the Spangles on a Holocaust memorial.
31:11They bring visual interest to the ones I've seen, incidentally.
31:19To answer your question, I'm taking the money.
31:22All of it.
31:27I grew up never knowing a mother's love.
31:29This is my reward.
31:31But we're sisters.
31:32This is very unfair.
31:33We never knew a mother's love, either.
31:35Okay, I think I'll take a quick enter at that buffet.
31:38Look, if you don't share that money, we'll sue.
31:42Right, Paul?
31:43We can do that, right?
31:45Uh, any heir can contest a will.
31:48Now, see, I thought this might happen.
31:50Give me it just a second.
31:54Ahem.
31:56Present for you.
31:56Ha!
31:57If you don't file a lawsuit, I'll give each of you $150,000.
32:09If we fight this, what are the chances we win?
32:17Yes, what are the chances?
32:19Not high.
32:20Norma was of sound mind when she drew up her will.
32:23That is correct.
32:24Baby, no.
32:29If we stick together...
32:30DG, just take the money.
32:32It's not worth the fight.
32:34Fuck you.
32:35I'm not having my money stolen twice.
32:41Well, two out of three isn't bad.
32:44It might be.
32:45If Delia files a suit, it'll hold up the estate for years,
32:48and nobody can get anything out of it.
32:49Oh, my gosh.
33:01Delia!
33:03Delia!
33:04I know this isn't going exactly the way you planned,
33:06but if you just...
33:06You cannot understand how painful this is.
33:09Norma was a monster.
33:11She killed Amber.
33:12She may not have pushed her off that cliff,
33:14but she whittled my sister down to a compliant little nub.
33:19And all that's left is the money that Norma stole from us.
33:23I won't let you take it.
33:25Well, I know the pain.
33:28Years of it.
33:29I've been hurt terribly.
33:31Tell my friend that I will be back with her car soon.
33:34I have to clean my head.
33:40You're leaking!
33:49Fucking fine, then.
33:59Give me the fucking forms, I'll fucking sign.
34:03That's a lot of fucks, Didi.
34:09Okay.
34:11So, when can we get the money?
34:12Delia?
34:20Delia?
34:22Hey, Delia!
34:24Get up!
34:30Hey-o!
34:31Hi!
34:32Oh, good.
34:33I thought I saw you come in here.
34:35You gotta check out the buffet.
34:36You know what?
34:37The old man should hire this guy for the retirement party.
34:41Oh, yeah.
34:42Old man, yes.
34:44What's going on?
34:45You going somewhere?
34:46Oh, oh.
34:48Cold.
34:49Okay.
34:51Cold.
34:52Oh, so, uh, what exactly do you want?
34:55Oh.
34:56Well.
34:57Look, it's no big deal,
34:58but at least, like, 60% of what your secret sister out there is saying
35:02is, like, total bullshit.
35:04How could you know that?
35:05Mm.
35:07Well, just now, when you said you were cold, that was a lie, right?
35:10Maybe.
35:11Mm-hmm.
35:12Yes.
35:13Yeah, well, anyway, I got this thing I can just, uh,
35:16tell when someone's lying.
35:17It's kind of a thing I do.
35:19This'll be fun.
35:20Okay.
35:21Tell me a fact about yourself,
35:23but don't dig too deep.
35:25Uh, you're freaking me out.
35:27True.
35:29Let's up the ante.
35:30Why don't you grab one of these, uh,
35:32spangly buddies from the peanut gallery,
35:33and, uh, uh, I'll turn my back
35:35and you tell me what you have.
35:46Squirrel.
35:47Bullshit.
35:48Elephant.
35:49Bullshit.
35:50Hammer.
35:51Mm.
35:51True.
35:52Although, not technically a spangly buddy, actually,
35:55so kind of a weird move.
35:56Anyway, you see my point.
35:58Believe me now?
35:58Um, how exactly does it work?
36:00Well, I'm not exactly sure, but it's not really the point.
36:03Okay, what we gotta do is talk to your mom's lawyer.
36:06I mean, surely he ran some kind of a background check
36:08when he found this chick, you know?
36:10Well, I mean, even if Felicity's lying,
36:13it doesn't change Nora's will.
36:15Well, it does if she committed fraud.
36:18Oh.
36:19Hang in there, okay?
36:20Whoever the hell is Anastasia,
36:22Dirty Rotten Scoundrel, Felicity,
36:23whatever the hell her name is,
36:25it's gonna be okay, all right?
36:26We're gonna figure this out.
36:28Fuck yeah.
36:29Fuck yeah!
36:29Fuck yeah!
36:41Ow.
36:43Hey.
36:44Hi.
36:47Norma's lawyer.
36:48Oh, gosh, that must have been a hell of a gig.
36:51Oh.
36:52Paul Fletcher.
36:53Who are you?
36:55I, I, I, nobody.
36:56I, just, uh, Delia's apple dumpling gang, uh,
37:00so, listen,
37:01long-long sister you dug up, uh, Felicity Price.
37:04Is, is she really a mixed media visual artist?
37:07Are you asking if she's a real artist?
37:10I'm, I'm not sure I'm qualified to assess that.
37:12I did take an intro to art history course during my semester at C,
37:16but the professor was not very engaging.
37:18It's too bad.
37:19No, no, no, I, uh, look, we just want to know if she is who she says she is.
37:24Oh, I see, yes, she, she is.
37:28Here's her.
37:28Here's her, here's her, ours.
37:30All right, that's her.
37:38Okay, you got celebrities, cool.
37:41Oh, boy, sandwiches, it's okay, it's hella eclectic, but yeah, I guess that's our time.
37:47Hey, what about the, uh, the backstory, uh,
37:50raised on the run by gambling addicts and so on, does that really check out?
37:52Yes, her father had the, uh, shady creditors of a gambling addict,
37:56and he died in a car crash, just as Felicity said.
37:59Gosh, uh, was she really in the car with him when that happened?
38:03Yeah, I, I looked up the, the hospital records.
38:06What, what is this all an aid of?
38:07Well, here's the thing, Paul, the lawyer,
38:08when you say something about Felicity, it's true,
38:11but when Felicity says the same thing, it's bullshit.
38:14So, I'm a mixed media artist, bullshit.
38:17Uh, my father was a gambler, he died in a car crash, true.
38:19Uh, I was in the car with him when he died, bullshit.
38:22It seems like she only lies when she's talking about herself or something.
38:26But, but, Paul proved all of that, so maybe your, your true thing is just broken.
38:38Huh.
38:41So, you all played the same kid, huh?
38:46Yes, and?
38:47And, uh, think about it.
38:48So, the lies, the wildly wavering accents, and...
38:52Uh, really, I hadn't picked up on that.
38:54Oh, sweetheart, Felicity's acting is second only to Hamber's crystal,
38:58the drug mule, uh, and God rest her soul, but...
39:00Well, this is getting a little crazy.
39:02Yes, stay with me here.
39:04So, what if this Felicity Price is some sort of a,
39:07I don't know, uh, an imposter?
39:09Uh, you know, another, another one.
39:13So, it's not, uh, quintuplets, it's a, what, what do you call that?
39:17Sex tuplets?
39:17Six tuplets.
39:18Sex tuplets.
39:19Yeah, it's what I said.
39:20No, no, sex tuplets.
39:21Sex.
39:22It's six.
39:22Sex.
39:23Yeah, because there's six of them, right?
39:24No.
39:25Yeah, so there's six.
39:26Sex.
39:26No, that's why you call it six.
39:28Sex tuplets.
39:28It's six.
39:29Sex.
39:29Sex.
39:30Sex.
39:30Sex.
39:31It's Latin.
39:31Sex.
39:32Sex.
39:32Dude, I'm just fucking with you.
39:35Come on.
39:35Sexy tuplets saucy, okay?
39:37And number sex is pretending to be number five.
39:42Well, is she fucking right or not?
39:45There's only one secret sister.
39:47Norma registered five births.
39:49Amber, BB, Cece, Delia, and Felicity.
39:52I've seen the documents myself.
39:54God, I'm starving.
39:55Delia, I know this is hard to accept.
39:58Kid Cop Nights.
40:01There's no legal freedom.
40:02Thank you so much.
40:04Freeze!
40:05I was still eating.
40:06Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge.
40:09Well, that's that then.
40:11No, no, hey.
40:12No attack.
40:14Confront the punk.
40:16Come on, Mo.
40:17Giving up that easy, that doesn't seem like you.
40:19Yeah, I mean, no.
40:21I mean, fuck it, I'll go.
40:22Hey, tell me bullshit detectives.
40:25Like they'll remember?
40:26Right.
40:27You have to do it.
40:29Yeah.
40:30No way, because I actually have conducted, like, a shocking number of these ad hoc interrogations.
40:35So the first line out of Felicity, and then boom, I'll just crack her wide open.
40:38Good.
40:39Um, go get him, Tiger.
40:41Okay.
40:42Oh, hey, one more thing.
40:55You think we can get some of these turkey legs to go?
40:57I don't see why not.
40:58Um, I left your keys in the car.
41:00Yeah, I remember.
41:02Appreciate it, though.
41:03Oh, yeah, I did prefer the other beanie.
41:05What?
41:06What?
41:27Hi there, Felicity Price.
41:30What in the hell are you doing in here?
41:32Why are you lying about who you are?
41:35I'm what?
41:36Well, I mean, everyone guilts the lily, but you.
41:39Every sentence out of your mouth is a perker.
41:42It's making my ears ring.
41:44Just what gives?
41:45I don't know what you mean.
41:47Okay, well, I mean, you're lying about being in that car when your father died.
41:52I am not.
41:52Well, there you go again.
41:53You're also fibbing about growing up on the run.
41:55Well, we weren't on the run all the time, obviously, but...
41:58Okay, and you're not a mixed-media visual artist from rural Vermont, whatever your bio says.
42:05So, you're obviously, you're scamming these sisters out of their inheritance one lie at a time.
42:11So, who are you?
42:13I am Felicity Price.
42:14Nope, try again.
42:16I am.
42:17Bullshit.
42:18God, it's so obvious you're not who you say you are.
42:20I mean, the accent alone, it's like, uh, dinner theater blinks du bois.
42:25If I called one of Felicity's friends right now, would they even recognize you?
42:33Give it up, lady.
42:34You cannot lie to me.
42:37I mean, well, I suppose...
42:44Fine.
42:47You're right.
42:49Felicity Price is an invention.
42:53A reaction to the cruelty I've suffered.
42:58The years of abuse.
43:01Do you know what it takes to become a real artist?
43:03Gosh, I don't know.
43:05I guess a big financial safety net, maybe some family connections to the art world.
43:10Pain and sacrifice.
43:13You must kill the old you to birth the new you.
43:19Re-invent everything.
43:23Your accent, your image, your entire personality, if you must.
43:30Every moment of every day.
43:35Felicity Price is who I was supposed to be.
43:39Proof of the passion and creativity that was smothered out of me.
43:46But no longer.
43:48No.
43:51I am Felicity Price.
43:54She is me.
43:57You call it a lie.
44:00I call it my truth.
44:05Oaky smokes, man.
44:07That's true.
44:08So, excruciatingly pretentious, but, uh, true.
44:13Get out.
44:15All right.
44:16Uh, hey, I'm sorry for overstepping.
44:18Uh, is there any shot that, uh, you could consider channeling some of that artistic empathy towards your sister, Delia?
44:25I mean, she's just, she's been through a lot.
44:27Please leave.
44:36Sorry.
44:38Holy bunch.
44:43Oh.
44:48Rest in Spangled Power, Amber.
44:50We love you.
44:51Oh, great.
44:57There you are.
44:58Hey, hey, buddy.
44:59I, I'm sorry, but I, I, you know, I did that whole lie detector routine on Felicity just like we planned that I'm sorry to say, but I just, I don't think she's an imposter.
45:08Imposter syndrome, maybe.
45:09What the fuck are you talking about?
45:11What the fuck are you talking about?
45:15All right.
45:17If you were just like tooling around the neighborhood for two hours like some angsty teen, then who was I even gabbing to?
45:25I, I mean, are you even you?
45:28I'm me, Delia.
45:29We met at an apple orchard.
45:34Charlie.
45:35All right.
45:36I, I see it.
45:38I don't understand why any of my sisters would pretend to be me.
45:41Hey, there you are.
45:42I wanted to get this to you before you leave.
45:47I'm glad you changed your mind, Delia.
45:49Good luck.
45:55That's why.
45:58Felicity offered us $150,000 to not contest the will.
46:03I guess one of my sisters wore my coat.
46:05Oh, and your beanie, right, the different colored cat.
46:08I'm a moron.
46:09And, uh, sign the contract.
46:10No, no, no, no.
46:12You, you gotta tear this up.
46:13We can prove that's not your signature.
46:15Charlie, I have been staring at that drinks table ever since we got here, trying to remember why it's not a fantastic idea to get wasted.
46:24Whoever did this had it right.
46:27Take the money and run.
46:29I mean, you can't even buy a whole orchard for $150,000, I, I'd assume.
46:33I am financially illiterate.
46:35It does keep me up at night.
46:36Money is replaceable.
46:37I pick peace of mind.
46:39Well, you know what?
46:40Sorry, buddy, but fuck it.
46:42I'd love for you to have both.
46:43Hey, Lady Diana.
46:45Lady Diana.
46:45Hey, whoa.
46:46Lady Diana.
46:47Hey, mine.
46:48Come here.
46:49Wrong leg, baby girl.
46:50All right, we're gonna get them next time.
46:51I promise.
46:53Sorry.
46:53No, it's, uh, Lady Dies now.
46:56Oh, okay.
46:57Hey, uh, how's that going?
46:58You still can't find that missing foot?
47:00Oh, God.
47:01Who would take Amber's foot?
47:02Wild boars, passing hobos, riding the rails, seagulls.
47:06You can't expect a human foot to just stay on the beach and no one take it nowhere.
47:09I don't know.
47:09It seems a humble enough expectation.
47:12And that's not even the worst part.
47:13Oh, okay.
47:15Shoot.
47:15What's the worst part?
47:16I got that song stuck in my head.
47:18Um, Footloose.
47:20Um, everybody cut loose.
47:23Footloose.
47:25Kick off your Sunday shoes.
47:27All day.
47:28Well, I did ask.
47:36Um, God damn it.
47:38It's like the smallpox of movie plot songs.
47:41I blame Bacon.
47:43Huh.
47:43Bacon.
47:46Bacon.
47:49Hold on a second.
47:50What?
47:51Well, portrait.
47:53Kevin Bacon in Footloose.
47:55Mm-hmm.
47:55Life-size bust.
47:56Daniel Day-Lewis, circa my left foot.
47:59Right.
48:00Footlong, $5 subway, cast in bronze, and a marble ruler, approximately 12 inches, always known as a foot.
48:09Is this a rule or an aneurysm?
48:12All of Felicity Price's artwork is foot-related.
48:15And?
48:16And, and, Amber's dead body is missing a foot.
48:20So that means I, uh, don't know.
48:23I, uh, geez.
48:26Synchronicity?
48:30No fucking way.
48:32Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
48:33Dance!
48:36I always say that art reveals the artist.
48:47Felicity.
48:48I figured you out.
48:53Before Amber saw Norma's new will, she was coping just fine with her mother's illness.
48:58Right?
48:59That's true.
48:59She was, she was very strong.
49:01Yes.
49:01But then, Norma, named Felicity Price, is the new heir of the Kid Copic Zillions, and, uh, well, Amber begins to transform.
49:10New hairdo.
49:11Weird piercings.
49:12Starting to dress like some kind of a cartoon plumber.
49:15Excuse me.
49:15Norma, she was having a breakdown.
49:16Yes.
49:17But, uh, not for the reason you think.
49:20You see, uh, those changes that Norma made to the will, well, they were causing Amber to become homicidal, not suicidal.
49:29Isn't that right, Felicity?
49:30Well, I wouldn't know.
49:32You stop my set for this.
49:34May I?
49:38Thanks, pal.
49:39You're welcome.
49:40And I can't go on without her.
49:41So, I've come to the bluff to jump.
49:44So, when you see...
49:45Bullshit.
49:46And pretty lame acting on top.
49:48Suffice to say, I can tell based on this video alone that, uh, well, she's lying.
49:54Amber had no intentions of jumping.
49:56You really shouldn't speak ill of the dead like this.
49:58Ah, well, that's okay, because Amber isn't dead.
50:03Felicity Price is.
50:05Amber's new look was a disguise.
50:09Designed to make everyone believe that the body at the bottom of the bluff was her.
50:13When, in fact, it was actually the body of your long-lost sister, Felicity Price.
50:22Sacré bleu.
50:23Oh, my God.
50:23It was a crazy smart scheme.
50:26Oh, boy.
50:27But there was just that one thing about Felicity that you couldn't fake, wasn't there?
50:34Something that you found out about after you murdered her.
50:39Her prosthetic foot.
50:41No.
50:41Shut up.
50:43You know, it was, uh, really some very quick thinking what you did with the train and, uh,
50:47well, those caps, yeah, they bought it.
50:50Take off your left boot.
50:51That is wildly inappropriate to ask her to do...
50:54Oh.
51:10Oh, wow.
51:12Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry.
51:14Oh, this is...
51:15Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
51:17No, dude, I'm sorry.
51:18How very dare you?
51:21I come here to meet my long-lost family at the wake of the mother I never knew.
51:28And how do you welcome me?
51:31You force me to bear my disability to you.
51:40Are you happy now?
51:42No.
51:42Or is there more humiliation in store?
51:57Uh...
51:58Oh, God.
52:01Uh...
52:02Oh, God.
52:11Uh...
52:12Oh, my God, that's so gross.
52:27Oh, God, ew.
52:28Holy butt-munching shit.
52:30I'm bad.
52:32The art reveals the artist.
52:35Spangles.
52:36Yikes.
52:37You know what?
52:37I'm gonna call cops.
52:39I did everything right.
52:42Everything Mom asked.
52:43It all should have been lying.
52:45Yeah, I'd like to report a crime.
52:49God, that was quick.
52:50Yeah.
52:50Sorry to barge in like this.
52:52We just fingerprinted the corpse's body.
52:54That wasn't your sister Amber down on those tracks.
52:57It was...
52:57We know.
52:58Felicity Price.
52:59So that means...
53:00Did one of you...
53:02She did it.
53:03It was a...
53:04Oh, she did it.
53:04Oh!
53:05Mm.
53:08Which one is this?
53:10Amber.
53:11Does that mean we all have different fingerprints?
53:13Of course.
53:14You're twins.
53:15Not clones.
53:16Oh, my God.
53:18Yeah.
53:18Oui, merde.
53:22I wish I'd have gotten to know her, you know?
53:29Oh.
53:31Yeah, sorry.
53:33So, uh...
53:34Who gets all the money now?
53:36Well, Felicity had no surviving family, so...
53:39All the K-Cup money comes to us.
53:40Oh, shit.
53:41Yeah.
53:42Whoa.
53:43Mm.
53:43So, enough to buy the orchard off the old man, huh?
53:46Two orchards, thanks to you.
53:48Me?
53:48No.
53:49Come on, I just asked a few questions.
53:53Why don't you, um...
53:54Come in on it with me.
53:56We make a good team.
53:57And if nothing else, it'll give you time to figure out your dream.
54:02Ah.
54:04Yeah, I don't know.
54:06Well, maybe I could use a little settling down.
54:09Form a little human connection, and...
54:11Oh, maybe get to know the name of a few apples.
54:13Don't set your bar too high.
54:15I mean, you're right.
54:16Shit, like, what am I even running from, right?
54:22Oh, right.