#casanova #romeoandjuliet #thescapegoat
Now a teenager, young Titus Groan rebels against the strict traditions of Gormenghast as he begins to explore the world outside the walls. Starring: Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Celia Imrie, Ian Richardson, Neve McIntosh, Christopher Lee, Richard Griffiths.
Now a teenager, young Titus Groan rebels against the strict traditions of Gormenghast as he begins to explore the world outside the walls. Starring: Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Celia Imrie, Ian Richardson, Neve McIntosh, Christopher Lee, Richard Griffiths.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Hold fast to the law of the lost gold tome, where the earth of the truth lies thick upon the page, and the loom of faith in the ink long fled, from the throne of the nip flows on.
00:00:30To the last of the first depart, and the least of the past is dust, and the dust, the dust is lost.
00:00:50Hold fast, come and bust, come and bust.
00:01:02Hold fast.
00:01:04Hold fast.
00:01:06Hold fast.
00:01:08Hold fast.
00:01:10Hold fast.
00:01:14Hold fast.
00:01:28The Parisian day of the ancient time of the 23rd.
00:01:38Oh, did he?
00:01:44The reading of the laureate,
00:01:48taking a meditation on art.
00:01:51Damned art, damned poetry, damned poetic ass.
00:01:59You won't have finished it, and you won't have changed it at the last minute, damned...
00:02:03Ass.
00:02:05Don't worry, damned asswipe.
00:02:07Your assistant knows the ritual of the poet off by heart.
00:02:11He'll do it for you.
00:02:14Like it is everything else.
00:02:21Excuse me, Lord Shep.
00:02:33Titus! Titus Groon!
00:02:35This is no racetrack, young sir.
00:02:37I am allowed to ride after breakfast,
00:02:39and in the castle, between 8 and 9 on a Monday morning.
00:02:42That's the rules, Professor Belgrove, sir.
00:02:44Quite, quite so.
00:02:45But no permission to trample your old schoolmaster half to death.
00:02:48Am I correct?
00:02:49Yes, I am.
00:02:51You look pale, young Lordship.
00:02:54Are you all right?
00:02:55Been riding over somebody's ghost, have you?
00:02:57There's no such thing, sir.
00:03:00Pontuality, Titus.
00:03:02Tardiness is next to cleanliness, and don't be late.
00:03:06They were flouting about 30 yards out.
00:03:09They're a long shoe hat.
00:03:12And a letter.
00:03:13No, no, no, no.
00:03:14What do you make of that?
00:03:25No more fire.
00:03:27Our lips are sealed.
00:03:29Our power is in water.
00:03:32Clarice and Cora.
00:03:33The appearance given, Mr. Secretary,
00:03:37is that the two ladyships have drowned themselves.
00:03:40Good riddance, if you ask me.
00:03:41Do you have a goat?
00:04:07A goat, ladies?
00:04:09Milk.
00:04:10For the cats.
00:04:11Ah!
00:04:12See what you mean, a goat.
00:04:14Have I got a goat?
00:04:14Oh, that's better.
00:04:25Bring my goat.
00:04:27Your goat?
00:04:29The goat man.
00:04:30Bring it.
00:04:33We haven't got a goat.
00:04:35I require service, not sophistry.
00:04:37Get my goat!
00:04:37I'm amazed, ladyship.
00:04:44Where are the traditions of service?
00:04:46How old are you?
00:04:48Uh, 38, madam.
00:04:51Sit down.
00:04:52Ladyship.
00:04:53How long since we've seen each other?
00:04:56Uh, five years, madam.
00:05:00I've been thinking.
00:05:01Since the burning of the library,
00:05:03and the disappearance of my husband,
00:05:04things have been wrong for years.
00:05:08Something uneasy.
00:05:09Do you feel it, Scora?
00:05:10And now Claris and Cora.
00:05:12Bodies not found, not buried.
00:05:15Uh, their note mentioned burning, ladyship.
00:05:18Perhaps it was they who...
00:05:20Burn the library?
00:05:21A groan?
00:05:22Burn a groan?
00:05:24Never.
00:05:24Made me think of it all again.
00:05:27There is something among us.
00:05:29There is stench.
00:05:31I can smell it.
00:05:32Do you mean...
00:05:35Rebellion, ladyship?
00:05:38Rebellion?
00:05:39Who would dare rebel against Gormenghast?
00:05:44Forgive me, madam.
00:05:45I want you to watch.
00:05:46Watch for me, do you hear?
00:05:48If there is such a thing as rebellion,
00:05:50we shall find it.
00:05:51Do you understand me, Squalor?
00:05:53I have no doubt, ladyship.
00:05:54I've found one, Doctor.
00:06:06Wrong sex, you idiot.
00:06:08You bring the female goat, you fool.
00:06:11The female goat?
00:06:14Take it away.
00:06:15I have a faith in you, Squalor.
00:06:27I don't know why.
00:06:28I'm honoured, ladyship.
00:06:29Mark my words.
00:06:30If this thing exists, it shall be crushed.
00:06:33Steer Pike!
00:06:38Steer Pike!
00:06:39You're a pest.
00:06:40Nevermind, I need you!
00:06:41Yes, sir.
00:06:43And don't call me sir, if you don't mean it!
00:06:47You obsequious rat!
00:06:49Double suicide, no bodies, no bodies, no funeral.
00:06:52Where are we then?
00:06:53Oh, we could bury their hat, sir.
00:06:55I'll wipe that grin off your clock, damn slug!
00:07:00Get me, corpses!
00:07:02And quick!
00:07:03No!
00:07:04As a matter of fact, I don't think I will, Mr. Secretary Barkentine.
00:07:21Ass-ripe and shit-licker, sir.
00:07:28What the case is this?
00:07:29What the case is this?
00:07:30Dugget!
00:07:31Is that really you behind that mask of grime and ink?
00:07:48And if it is,
00:07:50are you trying to carve your name
00:07:51in your desk
00:07:53when you thought your master was asleep?
00:07:55Yes, sir.
00:07:56Haven't you done with the whole thing where you dug it?
00:08:00Only done the first three letters, sir.
00:08:01Yes, well, you can leave the second G till later, boy.
00:08:04The second G, sir?
00:08:06Yes, there are two Gs in...
00:08:08Damn it, boy!
00:08:09Don't you know how to spell your own name?
00:08:13Come on, off you go, sir.
00:08:15It's brick, young old chip.
00:08:26Milk and a biscuit.
00:08:38Stop playing with your teeth, Belgrave.
00:08:41It's damn rude.
00:08:43I'm in pain, Mr. Perch.
00:08:44And what the hell of my teeth's got to do with you?
00:08:46You're a hoarder,
00:08:48you damn pedant.
00:08:50Get them extracted.
00:08:53Oh, poor old fangs.
00:08:57Fangs?
00:08:57Is that how you consider me, fluke, canine?
00:09:00I remind you that 15 short years ago,
00:09:03I was considered for headmaster.
00:09:04Yes, fluke, headmaster.
00:09:06Oh, pain doesn't exist, dear boy.
00:09:10It is merely an expression of inner disturbance.
00:09:13The fact that you imagine it to be in your teeth is interesting.
00:09:17Have you said something you regret lately?
00:09:20Ow!
00:09:21Pain doesn't exist, dear boy.
00:09:23Perhaps we've put our foot in it lately, have we?
00:09:26Ha!
00:09:26Ha!
00:09:27Death!
00:09:28I can hear it squeak.
00:09:30Here he comes.
00:09:33Mind, why forget?
00:09:35Mind, why forget?
00:09:36Yes, man.
00:09:37Yes, he has a name.
00:09:38Show some respect.
00:09:39It's the headmaster.
00:09:41Get out of it.
00:09:42He's got something to say.
00:09:43A notice for you all.
00:09:45Oh.
00:09:48Who are all these people?
00:09:52It's your staff, headmaster.
00:09:54Oh.
00:09:54Shall I get Bellgrove to read the edict?
00:09:58Why not?
00:10:00Oh, what an honour, headmaster.
00:10:02Edict.
00:10:03Read it, hurry up.
00:10:04Some Barkentine.
00:10:05Get your teeth into it, Bellgrove.
00:10:07Yes, can he understand more than seven words in a row?
00:10:11Silence!
00:10:12Professor Bellgrove.
00:10:14Reference Lord Titus, 77th Earl.
00:10:17I, being Secretary Barkentine, give notice to remind you that no privileges of caste, class
00:10:24or title shall be afforded, the aforesaid Lord, according to the ironclad presidents
00:10:28of Gormengast.
00:10:29He shall be of the ordinary, no more no less, until his time of reason and puberty.
00:10:35Take note.
00:10:36You exist to teach, not fawn.
00:10:39Fawn?
00:10:40Barkentine, you bastard bugger!
00:10:42Headmaster Diath, I would have you impress upon your staff the magnitude of their office
00:10:49and, in particular, those who confuse their calling with indolence.
00:10:53Signed, as for Barkentine, Steerpike.
00:10:57Steerpike?
00:10:58It's you, Bellgrove.
00:10:59The whole damn thing's aimed at you.
00:11:01Oh, dear!
00:11:02But you teach his lordship, don't you?
00:11:06Who did you say all these people were?
00:11:10Nothing you need be concerned with, Headmaster.
00:11:13Out!
00:11:14No!
00:11:15Yes, out!
00:11:16Oh!
00:11:19Steerpike, you bastard bugger!
00:11:23Oh, my God!
00:11:53It's worse. 300 dead and rising. And what a way to die. The fever, the boils, the blood.
00:12:06Most of them beg for the mercy of death.
00:12:08What about Gertrude?
00:12:10She's quarantined like you.
00:12:12Are you saying she's not even dead yet?
00:12:15Not even ill?
00:12:17I hear the Lady Fuchsia's looking feverish, so there's hope yet. Surely the time for you to emerge and claim your rightful power cannot be far away.
00:12:27We want some servants.
00:12:29If I knew they weren't infected, I'd bring you a hundred. But what would be more tragic for you to be struck down at the very moment when you were to mount your golden thrones?
00:12:40Are they ready? We want to see them.
00:12:45Ladieships! I am trying to keep the plague from your door!
00:12:50How dare you made these demands on me!
00:12:54How dare you! I won't tolerate it!
00:12:59Get under the carpet!
00:13:02Get under the carpet now!
00:13:07Get under it!
00:13:09Or you'll get nothing!
00:13:11No servants!
00:13:12No crowns!
00:13:14No thrones!
00:13:15Nothing!
00:13:16Get under the carpet!
00:13:20Thank you!
00:13:27Now I shall continue to protect you and return with provisions by and by.
00:13:32No.
00:13:33No.
00:13:34No.
00:13:35No.
00:13:36No.
00:13:37No.
00:13:38No.
00:13:39No!
00:13:40No!
00:13:41No.
00:13:42No.
00:13:43No!
00:13:44No!
00:13:45No!
00:13:46No!
00:13:47No!
00:13:48No!
00:13:49No!
00:13:50No!
00:13:51No!
00:13:52We could, couldn't we?
00:13:54We could do it together!
00:13:56together. Next time he comes, we could, couldn't we? We could kill him. The ninth day of the month.
00:14:10The ninth, Mr. Secretary. That's what I said. The egg should be blue, not red.
00:14:18The ninth, you don't! Didn't I say the ninth? The egg should be blue, not red.
00:14:26In addition to your Danish collected duties, Lordship.
00:14:29Eleven o'clock, release of the five hawks from the northeast turret.
00:14:35One fifteen, groaning of the dungeon with your sister, Lady Fuchsia.
00:14:44Four o'clock, blessing of the meat racks.
00:14:49Five o'clock, the ceremony of the laureate, the reading of the ten-year meditation on art.
00:14:54Most important, Lordship.
00:14:56Six o'clock, the eternity of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait.
00:15:00One, two, three, four, three, four.
00:15:01Two, three, four, five.
00:15:02One, two, three, four, five, four, four, eight, five, six, six, six, seven, six, seven, seven, seven, three, four, seven, nine, seven, seven, 7, zero, seven, 11, 12, 12,SUB now.
00:15:10I heard this.
00:15:42Listen, uh, listen over.
00:16:02Lordship, is it you?
00:16:03We must rehearse the ceremony of the laureate.
00:16:06Convair!
00:16:07The knights of the rigors of ancient learning.
00:16:09Where's the boy?
00:16:12Boy, sir? What boy?
00:16:14Don't bop boy me.
00:16:15There was a boy here in this corridor just now.
00:16:17I saw him. Where is he?
00:16:18With respect, Mr. Secretary,
00:16:20you are here confronted with the greatest group of experts on boys
00:16:23possibly ever assembled.
00:16:24We know what a boy looks like, what he sounds like, and...
00:16:26What the idiot had for dinner.
00:16:27If I may, Professor Perl.
00:16:29Where's the sodding boy?
00:16:31Bugger the bastard!
00:16:32I apologize for the tone of my colleague, Mr. Secretary.
00:16:36But not necessarily his intention.
00:16:42You have protected a boy with insolence!
00:16:47If I may say, sir, it was not I.
00:16:49Let me just say, Belgrobe,
00:16:52that this afternoon is the ceremony of the laureate.
00:16:56If every boy, and I mean every boy,
00:16:59is not there assembled,
00:17:00I will personally twist your malodorous intestines
00:17:05around your brainless skull!
00:17:08Stand back, sir!
00:17:09Titus!
00:17:16Titus!
00:17:17I know where you went, boy.
00:17:20Come on.
00:17:27Titus!
00:17:30Titus!
00:17:31Titus, come back!
00:17:33Launch your feet!
00:17:35It's the ceremony!
00:17:37You've got it!
00:17:38Titus!
00:17:39Oh, me, an expert on boys?
00:17:45You silly old fool, Professor Belgrove.
00:17:48I see.
00:17:58I see.
00:17:58Breeze!
00:17:59You sweet little fool.
00:17:59You silly or little fool.
00:18:01I'm almost..
00:18:01Janey.
00:18:02It's so smart.
00:18:03I'm like flying to the EU.
00:18:05It's so smart, right?
00:18:05I'm naked.
00:18:06I'm kind of naked.
00:18:07I'm kinda Kurzweil.
00:18:08Be near theforthes.
00:18:09amaan bienn
00:18:10The Hall of Bright Carvings.
00:18:19I must be near to the castle wall.
00:18:40The Hall of Bright Carvings.
00:19:10Out!
00:19:16I'm out of it!
00:19:40All boys ready for the day of the laureate, headmaster.
00:19:59Barkentine wants them counted.
00:20:05Is he asleep?
00:20:07Famous for somnolent awareness.
00:20:12Once a kitchen slug, always a kitchen slug.
00:20:16All boys, headmaster.
00:20:21Every single one of them.
00:20:24Dread.
00:20:24All clé.
00:20:36All clé.
00:20:38All clé.
00:20:50All clé.
00:20:54All clé.
00:20:58Look out, it's the headmaster.
00:21:05Look out, this is coming.
00:21:08Let's count, secretly, balkentine is ordered a leg count.
00:21:11All boys to be counted, the headmaster.
00:21:18Headmaster.
00:21:19Oh, my goodness.
00:21:29What?
00:21:29What?
00:21:30What?
00:21:33What happened?
00:21:35What?
00:21:37Asleep?
00:21:37Are you accusing me of dereliction of duty?
00:21:41I'll have you retract those words.
00:21:43I was cogitating a particularly deep problem on the nature of ambition, as it happens.
00:21:48Besides, what were you all doing in my inner sanctum?
00:21:52En masse, may I add?
00:21:54It's the young earl, sir.
00:21:56He's gone missing.
00:21:58Supposed to be in your class, wasn't he?
00:22:01My class?
00:22:02You mean he wasn't?
00:22:04Oh, bless my soul.
00:22:05What do you suggest we do about it?
00:22:08I suggest?
00:22:11Why should it be I who does the suggesting?
00:22:13Stupid bugger.
00:22:15Doesn't get it, does he?
00:22:16Headmaster, what are we going to do?
00:22:20Headmaster?
00:22:21The previous, if he could be said to have existed at all, now, without any doubt, doesn't.
00:22:28And as the most senior member of staff, Belgrove, whatever your qualifications, a burden now falls on you.
00:22:37Me?
00:22:38Head...
00:22:39Head...
00:22:39Headmaster?
00:22:43What do you mean, whatever my qualifications?
00:22:46Upstart, sluggard...
00:22:48And you could stop that fluke.
00:22:50Your wheezing sets my teeth on edge.
00:22:52Yes.
00:22:53Things are going to change around here, you know.
00:22:56A new order has begun.
00:22:58And the first thing you will all do is listen to your new headmaster.
00:23:04Out with it, then?
00:23:06Out with what, Mule?
00:23:07The earl, Tusspot!
00:23:08Oh, the earl, he's gone missing.
00:23:10What do we do?
00:23:11Calm.
00:23:12We stay calm, gentlemen.
00:23:13Your headmaster is here.
00:23:15Authority at last.
00:23:16What?
00:23:17Search.
00:23:18Search for him.
00:23:18That's what we do.
00:23:19Search parties.
00:23:20Yes.
00:23:20Never fear, gentlemen.
00:23:22The young earl shall be found, and I, Belgrove, shall find him.
00:23:26There we go.
00:23:37Bye-bye.
00:23:40Bye-bye.
00:23:44Bye-bye.
00:23:47Bye-bye.
00:23:48Bye-bye.
00:23:53Bye-bye.
00:23:55Titus, she will be your little sister.
00:24:08And you will love her.
00:24:20No! Wait! Come back!
00:24:25Wait! I think I know you. I won't hurt you. Wait!
00:24:35Come on! Come on!
00:24:43Where is he?
00:24:45Mr. Secretary, I would have you know that I've risen somewhat in my profession,
00:24:48and now, as you might say, at the zenith of it,
00:24:50and as head of our proud school,
00:24:52I would be grateful if you did not address me in such disrespectful tones.
00:24:55Shut up!
00:24:56You useless, elongated fart!
00:25:00I'm damned if I'll see the tradition of a thousand years
00:25:02ruined by some damn little...
00:25:04Little what?
00:25:05Oh, madam, little oh.
00:25:12Where is he?
00:25:14No sign, Mr. Secretary, I'm afraid.
00:25:15No sign, Mr. Secretary, I'll do it without him.
00:25:19Take a boy, any boy, put the ribbon in his hair, stand him down there, and when I say so,
00:25:24tell him to give the laureate his idiot poem.
00:25:28Well, do it! Sit there like some turd, stuck crab! Do it!
00:25:33Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Get up, boys!
00:25:34Who, sir? Me, sir?
00:25:34Who, sir? Me, sir?
00:25:35Yes, yes, come on.
00:25:36Hold this. Stand still, come on.
00:25:38Find him, piddle-brain.
00:25:40Quick! Stand still, stand still!
00:25:42Earl or no Earl, I'll teach him to flout the traditions of this place.
00:25:46There we are. Now, look lively.
00:25:47Over there. Go, go, go!
00:25:49Take it out! Up the steps, boys!
00:25:51Don't show off, doggy! Come on, you ass of a child! Up the steps! Up the steps, boys!
00:25:57Hurry! Come on!
00:25:59No! No! My eyes! My work!
00:26:03Ten years! Ten years of crap, no doubt!
00:26:06Leave it! Leave it!
00:26:09Damn his lordship!
00:26:11Damn him! Damn! Damn!
00:26:14Where is he? Where in hell is he?
00:26:21I'm lost.
00:26:29Where are you?
00:26:44Who are you?
00:26:53Flay.
00:26:55I've heard of you, Mr. Flay.
00:26:57You were my father's servant.
00:27:03Where is this?
00:27:05It's my own lordship.
00:27:09Are you ill?
00:27:11Not ill, boy.
00:27:12Banished.
00:27:15Banished?
00:27:18Why?
00:27:21Knew you right away, lordship.
00:27:26The eyes.
00:27:28Eat, rabbit.
00:27:30I snare, see.
00:27:32New life.
00:27:35Look after Flay.
00:27:36That's it.
00:27:42Duty gone.
00:27:45I'm very sorry, Mr. Flay.
00:27:49Mr. Flay, I saw something in a forest of trees made of stone.
00:27:53She was on a branch.
00:27:54She?
00:27:55Small thing, fast.
00:27:57She moved like lightning, Mr. Flay.
00:27:58Don't go near her.
00:28:00Why, Mr. Flay?
00:28:02She seemed to me to be very free and easy.
00:28:04Leave her.
00:28:06Free.
00:28:07Duty, lordship.
00:28:09Ancient duty.
00:28:11All there is.
00:28:14Your father said...
00:28:15I never saw my father.
00:28:17You did, boy.
00:28:18You saw him.
00:28:20What was he like?
00:28:23Earl of Gormenghast.
00:28:26Did he love me?
00:28:32Why would he say leave the girl alone, Mr. Flay?
00:28:35Not girl.
00:28:36Wild thing.
00:28:38Comes from carvers.
00:28:39Steals from own.
00:28:41Not of the stones.
00:28:45Bad, lordship.
00:28:47Bad.
00:28:47Bad.
00:28:47Bad.
00:28:50Sleep.
00:28:52Take you back.
00:28:55Eat.
00:29:10I like you very much, Mr. Flay.
00:29:12This whelp has searched.
00:29:18No sign, your ladyship.
00:29:20Then search again.
00:29:22And this time you'll succeed, Barquentine.
00:29:24Or I'll have your head on a spike.
00:29:26Yes, madam.
00:29:27He turned up in my room ten minutes ago.
00:29:32Mr. Flay brought me back.
00:29:34Why was he banished, mother?
00:29:36I know no Flay.
00:29:37Mother?
00:29:38I know no Flay.
00:29:41What do you do with him, Mr. Secretary?
00:29:43What can be done?
00:29:45He's gone.
00:29:46A fateful servant.
00:29:47We don't have many.
00:29:48The boy.
00:29:50What do you do with his lordship?
00:29:52He ran.
00:29:53What's his punishment?
00:29:57In you go, young sir.
00:29:58You brought it on your own head, remember.
00:30:02Use the time to think.
00:30:08Banished.
00:30:09Six for searching.
00:30:24Seven for heaven.
00:30:26Eight for aching.
00:30:27Ah.
00:30:35Nine for nothing.
00:30:37Ten for less.
00:30:39Lady Fuchsia.
00:30:41May I join you?
00:30:43What do you want?
00:30:44Just to walk with you.
00:30:46If it would please you.
00:30:47Nothing else.
00:30:49The wood is free.
00:30:50I can't stop you, can I?
00:30:52You can walk behind me if you like.
00:31:00Nothing's free, Lady Fuchsia.
00:31:03You said the wood is free.
00:31:05I don't believe anything is free.
00:31:07Except dreams.
00:31:08What do you know of dreams?
00:31:10We all dream.
00:31:12I dream of equality.
00:31:14As a matter of fact.
00:31:15I believe there should be no poor.
00:31:17No rich.
00:31:19No strong or weak.
00:31:22Equality is everything.
00:31:24Don't you think, Lady Fuchsia?
00:31:26I wouldn't know anything about it.
00:31:30I wouldn't know anything about it.
00:31:37Don't you think it's wrong?
00:31:39If some people starve and other people have so much they waste it.
00:31:44Don't you think the brave and the skillful should be rewarded?
00:31:46Don't you think talent is as important as wealth?
00:31:51It's raining.
00:31:53Don't you think cruelty and greed should be stopped for good?
00:31:55I'm getting wet.
00:31:58I'm getting wet.
00:32:04No.
00:32:06I'm getting soaked.
00:32:11No, Lady Fuchsia, not that way.
00:32:15Lady Fuchsia!
00:32:19Lady Fuchsia!
00:32:21where does it hurt
00:32:41I'm all right
00:32:42don't be a hero
00:32:44I know you're brave
00:32:45I want to know exactly where it hurts
00:32:47it's my leg
00:32:52I'm cold
00:32:54gently
00:32:58gently come on
00:32:59head wound doctor
00:33:02leg might be broken
00:33:04show me quickly dear boy
00:33:05fetch men in a stretcher
00:33:06I'll get my back
00:33:07don't move
00:33:09perfect
00:33:11you are magnificent
00:33:14thank you madam
00:33:15at your service
00:33:17at my service
00:33:21oh
00:33:24don't you try not to jolt her
00:33:27steady steady there
00:33:28this is no ordinary cargo
00:33:30oh my precious
00:33:31my precious
00:33:32oh
00:33:33not you
00:33:34kitchen boy
00:33:47life is amusing
00:33:49isn't it
00:33:50not a bone in the least broken
00:33:57anatomically quite sound your ladyship
00:34:00where's dear pike
00:34:01you don't want to see that horrid thing do you
00:34:04no no not at all
00:34:06no no not at all
00:34:06no no not at all
00:34:10I hate them
00:34:13I hate them
00:34:15I hate them
00:34:17who my agitato sister
00:34:19woof
00:34:20why do you never listen to me
00:34:24bless of my flesh
00:34:24to cut me
00:34:25would be to carve at the very marrow of yourself
00:34:27wouldn't the flap of an envelope be more appropriate
00:34:29why should I be punished like this
00:34:31am I without charm or grace or intellect
00:34:34bulging bag of all three my talented tyro
00:34:37why do I never have any advances paid to me
00:34:40are you speaking financially
00:34:41no alfred
00:34:42I am not
00:34:43and well you know it
00:34:45I mean what's wrong with your sex
00:34:46can't they see my neck
00:34:48my hair
00:34:49I move well don't I
00:34:51can't they see my carriage
00:34:53you're too powerful sweet white of egg
00:34:54that is the unpalatable truth
00:34:56I'm sorry to say
00:34:57but that carriage as you put it
00:34:58supercharged as it is
00:35:00terrifies them my spasmic one
00:35:02I hate them
00:35:03men
00:35:04blind
00:35:06stupid
00:35:07clumsy
00:35:08horrible
00:35:09vulgar
00:35:09heavy things
00:35:10and you
00:35:12are one of them
00:35:13arma dear
00:35:14I'm going to have
00:35:16a party
00:35:17bodily functions are nothing to be ashamed of
00:35:19via wind
00:35:20a party
00:35:20I put a party
00:35:21I am a pun squalor
00:35:23this
00:35:23this very
00:35:24oh can we have one
00:35:26a party my dear
00:35:27are you the type to give a party
00:35:28indeed are you the type to go to one
00:35:30oh but I see
00:35:31you are determined
00:35:31unutterably
00:35:32may I have the knife
00:35:33oh you're going to be the host
00:35:35I told you Alfred that I'm thinking
00:35:36I'm getting married
00:35:38to one of those you hate
00:35:39Alfred
00:35:39we'll find just the man for you
00:35:40my avenging angel
00:35:41now have you thought who to invite
00:35:43what they are to wear
00:35:44oh that simple
00:35:45evening dress
00:35:46oh such things can be cruel
00:35:47my fascinato
00:35:49oh
00:35:49few ladies have such
00:35:50resplendent gowns as you
00:35:51oh who cares
00:35:52there won't be any women
00:35:54no ladies
00:35:55I must be alone
00:35:56Alfred
00:35:56with them
00:35:57the mayor
00:35:58I see
00:35:59and have you considered
00:36:00who they might be
00:36:00these rams
00:36:01these tomcats
00:36:02these bulls are thicker than water
00:36:04I have in mind a gathering of 40
00:36:0540 men
00:36:06it is my last chance
00:36:08Alfred
00:36:09listen to me Irma dear
00:36:10listen to an affectionate brother
00:36:11you see
00:36:12in a smaller party
00:36:13you will find more time
00:36:15to size up the qualities
00:36:16of those present
00:36:1630
00:36:17doesn't
00:36:1820
00:36:19effort
00:36:19and don't argue
00:36:20I'm merely trying to put myself
00:36:21in your place Irma dear
00:36:21it takes an effort
00:36:22I can't do it
00:36:25any idea who this gallant score
00:36:27might be
00:36:28oh
00:36:28the professors
00:36:31it's so obvious
00:36:34why didn't I think of it before
00:36:36and it should be called
00:36:37a soiree
00:36:39rams
00:36:39soirees
00:36:40professors
00:36:41are not these terms
00:36:43mutually exclusive
00:36:44I shall issue invitations
00:36:45in blue and gold
00:36:46we shall soiree
00:36:47in 10 days
00:36:49Alfred
00:36:49oh lord
00:36:50in 10 days time
00:36:51a man of learning
00:36:53will be mine
00:36:53to keep
00:36:54I shall
00:36:55understand him
00:36:56administer to him
00:36:58and
00:36:58keep him clear
00:37:00Irma
00:37:00my dear
00:37:01do not think
00:37:02no
00:37:02but I do not think
00:37:03thought
00:37:04is for mortals
00:37:06I am a woman
00:37:08an invitation
00:37:11from Miss Prunesquala
00:37:13she has invited
00:37:14us
00:37:15shut up fluke
00:37:17this is a damned crisis
00:37:19nothing less
00:37:20crisis
00:37:21stupid bastard
00:37:22how long is it since you've seen a woman
00:37:24and how long is it since you have
00:37:26or have not
00:37:27professor mule
00:37:28she wants her husband
00:37:30long necked Irma
00:37:32wants her husband
00:37:34no no no no no gentlemen
00:37:38please please
00:37:39I will not have a lady's name
00:37:40oh bloody bugger
00:37:42it's him
00:37:43she wants him
00:37:44oh no
00:37:46oh yes
00:37:47gentlemen please
00:37:49stop it at once
00:37:50nonsense
00:37:51nonsense
00:37:51I
00:37:51I
00:37:52I
00:37:52there's no way to talk of a lady
00:37:54or
00:37:54of a headmaster
00:37:55him
00:37:56the very him
00:37:57the very head
00:37:59no
00:38:01no no no
00:38:02no it's not
00:38:02no no me
00:38:03I think it is you
00:38:04no no
00:38:06it's up to it man
00:38:07oh shush
00:38:07nonsense
00:38:08no she doesn't want me
00:38:10no
00:38:10does she
00:38:11perfect
00:38:20perfect
00:38:20only three days to go
00:38:35Alfred
00:38:36Tempest Fuget
00:38:38my seismic one
00:38:39Tempest Fuget
00:38:41Titus
00:38:52Titus
00:38:54Fuchsia
00:38:55here
00:38:57I brought you some sweets
00:38:59I miss you Titus
00:39:03and I miss you
00:39:05Dr. Prue's having some kind of horrid party
00:39:08a party
00:39:08all your professors are going
00:39:10yuck
00:39:11I hate them
00:39:12mother
00:39:14Barkentine
00:39:14I hate all of them
00:39:15I hate them for locking you up
00:39:17and I hate them for ignoring me
00:39:19Titus
00:39:23I spat out of my window today
00:39:26I spat on the stones
00:39:27I hate them all that much
00:39:29Titus can you hear me
00:39:33yes
00:39:35and I spit on the stones too
00:39:40can you feel my fingers
00:39:43Titus you're my brother
00:39:49and I love you
00:39:50you're my sister
00:39:51and I love you
00:39:52bye Titus
00:39:56remember what we said
00:39:58Fuchsia
00:39:59Fuchsia
00:40:00I hate them too
00:40:02all of them
00:40:03all of them
00:40:05well
00:40:06tonight's the night
00:40:09will I or won't I
00:40:11Irma
00:40:12Prunesqualler
00:40:14statement made in the staff room
00:40:16she's passionate about me
00:40:18consider
00:40:20one
00:40:22it's poppycock
00:40:23two
00:40:24my damn staff
00:40:25are damned interferers
00:40:26call themselves teachers
00:40:27they lie
00:40:28to add zest to the party
00:40:29three
00:40:31I haven't questioned their lies
00:40:32so they don't know
00:40:32that I've seen through it
00:40:33four
00:40:34so far so good
00:40:37five
00:40:38how do I turn the tables
00:40:40against these spoilers
00:40:41of all that is young
00:40:42and wonderful
00:40:43and let's face it
00:40:43lamb-like
00:40:44six
00:40:45what's wrong
00:40:47with Irma Prunesqualler
00:40:48anyway
00:40:49noses must be
00:40:51some shape or other
00:40:52or as that damned idiot
00:40:53Shred would say
00:40:54they wouldn't exist
00:40:55at all
00:40:56seven
00:40:57no bosoms
00:40:59to speak of
00:40:59true
00:41:00but then what are bosoms
00:41:02weighed against
00:41:03hmm
00:41:04quite
00:41:05eight
00:41:06I'm lonely
00:41:08oh
00:41:10Bellgrove
00:41:11such scouring
00:41:12not to say moving
00:41:13honesty
00:41:13nine
00:41:15what a catch
00:41:18I am
00:41:18for any woman
00:41:19ten
00:41:20oh god
00:41:22please make her mine
00:41:23you
00:41:25can't
00:41:26smile
00:41:27for
00:41:28monrocks
00:41:30a medical
00:41:31monrocks
00:41:34beside you
00:41:35madam
00:41:35why don't you make a sound
00:41:36can't you see
00:41:37I wear no spectacles
00:41:38no don't go
00:41:39monrocks
00:41:39just dust
00:41:40dust and dust again
00:41:41what
00:41:42I tell you what sister
00:41:44if you ain't a work of art
00:41:45I don't know what is
00:41:46Alfred
00:41:46hmm
00:41:47how do I seem to you
00:41:48I'm over here
00:41:49my dear
00:41:50turn round
00:41:51turn round
00:41:51oh
00:41:52oh
00:41:52to think the same blood
00:41:54batters our veins
00:41:55oh
00:41:55what do you mean
00:41:56I thought you were praising me
00:41:57and so I was
00:41:58but tell me now
00:41:58what is it that's
00:41:59somehow different
00:42:00my pneumatic one
00:42:01oh
00:42:01you've gained a bosom
00:42:03oh
00:42:03Alfred you've always said
00:42:04that busts are what you make of them
00:42:06my dear
00:42:06well I've made one
00:42:07from a hot water bottle
00:42:08a very expensive one
00:42:10don't you think
00:42:12it gives me
00:42:12pride of bearing
00:42:14just tell me
00:42:15tell me exactly
00:42:15mollucks
00:42:17be a dear
00:42:18go and talk to cook
00:42:19dear sister
00:42:26no Alfred
00:42:28I won't listen
00:42:28wait
00:42:29there's something else
00:42:30wait
00:42:30no
00:42:31well
00:42:33Alfred
00:42:35what flair you have
00:42:38don't spare me
00:42:40my only thought
00:42:43my Arabic one
00:42:44is that having so precisely
00:42:45positioned such a pair of
00:42:47watery protuberances
00:42:48as it were
00:42:48is it not spitting in the face
00:42:50of the divine
00:42:50to conceal them
00:42:51you're going to ruin it
00:42:52Alfred
00:42:52I know you are
00:42:53the vivacity of the visage
00:42:55sweet nicotine
00:42:56and the twin peaks
00:42:58of paradise
00:42:59are shall we say
00:43:00hidden beneath net
00:43:02dearest
00:43:03paradise
00:43:04paradise
00:43:04hidden
00:43:06never
00:43:07it is I
00:43:09Irma
00:43:10oh let them come
00:43:13my men
00:43:14from the mountains
00:43:15come along gentlemen
00:43:17two laces
00:43:18step by me
00:43:20like lance
00:43:21the slaughter
00:43:21don't tortle
00:43:23mule
00:43:24come on
00:43:24the bickering
00:43:26the bickering
00:43:27is necessary
00:43:28come on
00:43:28this way
00:43:31follow me
00:43:33come on gentlemen
00:43:36come on gentlemen
00:43:36poor old nanny
00:43:51you're the easiest
00:43:54so you can go first.
00:44:00All in the course of science, you understand.
00:44:13Good night, Nanny.
00:44:16Sleep tight.
00:44:21Professor Mew!
00:44:24There's a mule.
00:44:25Chop, chop.
00:44:28There's a mule.
00:44:32Evening.
00:44:35Bust!
00:44:39Bug!
00:44:42Pardon us.
00:44:44Yes, Professor.
00:44:46Female of the species.
00:44:49Strange.
00:44:51But true.
00:44:53Care for a canopy?
00:44:55Now?
00:44:58The last of them.
00:45:00Just a minute.
00:45:02Professor Belgrove, headmaster.
00:45:11Eve.
00:45:13Head.
00:45:14Madam.
00:45:15Master.
00:45:16Master.
00:45:16Bugger.
00:45:16Bugger.
00:45:26Bugger!
00:45:28No way to behave in front of a woman.
00:45:30Oh, bloody bugger bastard!
00:45:34Gentlemen, pass that armchair.
00:45:36Help me get him into it.
00:45:37Come on.
00:45:38One, two.
00:45:39Hey!
00:45:40Come on, man.
00:45:41Oh-oh.
00:45:42Oh-oh.
00:45:42Oh-oh.
00:45:43Oh-oh.
00:45:43Yes.
00:45:43One more ever, gentlemen.
00:45:44Help!
00:45:45Oh-oh.
00:45:45Oh-oh.
00:45:46Oh-oh.
00:45:46Oh-oh.
00:45:47Oh-oh.
00:45:47Stand back.
00:45:48Give him air.
00:45:49Forgive him, Madam Mayor.
00:45:50He is extended before you as a sign of weakness.
00:45:53We are all mere men.
00:45:55Is this not how we all feel?
00:45:57Oh-oh.
00:45:57Church, Luke, Throttlebound, convey the professor to his quarters where he may recover.
00:46:01Oh-oh.
00:46:02No, headmaster, I understand utterly.
00:46:05He has honoured me.
00:46:07Alfred, do something.
00:46:09Huh?
00:46:09He shall not be removed from this room.
00:46:11It's a full-blown spasm, dearest.
00:46:14Spasm or no spasm, he shall remain.
00:46:16Bollocks.
00:46:17That's my silver hammer.
00:46:19Oh, and scissors.
00:46:20We'll, uh, we'll need to snip his clothes off.
00:46:23Oh!
00:46:24This is no place for you.
00:46:25Headmaster, it is for you to speak and me to listen.
00:46:28Take my arm, such as it is.
00:46:31Oh!
00:46:32I shall accompany you, Professor.
00:46:34Excellent.
00:46:35Ah, I think.
00:46:36Where?
00:46:37The garden.
00:46:39The garden?
00:46:40It should be our first promenade together.
00:46:42There.
00:46:43I hardly knew you, headmaster.
00:46:45Ah.
00:46:46Ah, let's see.
00:46:47Ah.
00:46:48Maybe.
00:46:49Ah.
00:46:50Ah.
00:46:51Ah.
00:46:52Ah.
00:46:53Lilac.
00:46:54Can you not smell the lilac, my dear madam?
00:46:56I have a cold.
00:46:57Ah, yes.
00:46:58Women are such sensitive creatures.
00:47:00They require light, headmaster.
00:47:02A light?
00:47:03Certainly.
00:47:04I'm afraid you cannot see me.
00:47:07I would have you sit on my right.
00:47:09Ah.
00:47:10Well, um, what you would have, you shall be given.
00:47:13Ha, ha.
00:47:14Shall we rise together?
00:47:15Hmm.
00:47:16At last!
00:47:17How could you use such a word in front of a lady?
00:47:21Silence, am I not your headmaster?
00:47:23Oh.
00:47:24Oh, um, do forgive me.
00:47:25Do forgive me.
00:47:26I, I...
00:47:27Ah.
00:47:28Ah.
00:47:29Ah.
00:47:30Ah.
00:47:31Ah.
00:47:32Ah.
00:47:33Ah.
00:47:34Ah.
00:47:35Ah.
00:47:36Ah.
00:47:37Right, turn him over.
00:47:38Ah.
00:47:39Over.
00:47:40Ah, what's true happening?
00:47:41Ah.
00:47:42I knew it.
00:47:43Ah.
00:47:44Ah.
00:47:45Ah.
00:47:46So did I.
00:47:51My dear, you're cold.
00:47:52It's this damnable arbour.
00:47:55Oh, I will not have you use strong language in our sacred place.
00:48:01Well, you must, you, you, you must forgive, um, an old fool but I, I was just trying to,
00:48:07to damn this dark, which prevents me from seeing the proud beauty of your face.
00:48:24Go ahead.
00:48:26Oh, Erma.
00:48:33My man.
00:48:37No!
00:48:43No!
00:48:54Nani?
00:48:56Nani?
00:48:58Oh, my weak heart.
00:49:03Nani?
00:49:04Nani?
00:49:05Nani?
00:49:06Help! Someone help!
00:49:07Nani?
00:49:08Nani?
00:49:09Nani, what's wrong?
00:49:10Let me see.
00:49:11No, not you.
00:49:12You get the doctor.
00:49:13Yes, Ladyship, at once.
00:49:14Nani?
00:49:15Nani?
00:49:16Nani?
00:49:17Nani?
00:49:18Nani?
00:49:19Nani?
00:49:20Nani?
00:49:21Nani?
00:49:22Nani?
00:49:23Nani?
00:49:24Nani?
00:49:25Nani?
00:49:26Nani?
00:49:27Nani?
00:49:29Nani?
00:49:30Nani?
00:49:31See it as a gift from the kitchen, boy, Nanny.
00:49:52Have her buried in the graveyard for select retainers, Squalor.
00:50:01I don't feel anything, mother. Am I wicked?
00:50:06She was a good servant. You'll miss her.
00:50:10Cedric Squalor.
00:50:12Daddyship.
00:50:16You are not wicked, my dear.
00:50:24When are they going to let Titus out of the vault?
00:50:28It's not fair. He's just a little boy.
00:50:32He'll be out like a jack-in-the-box in no time at all.
00:50:35He must.
00:50:37And I want to see my daddy.
00:50:42My dear.
00:50:44Where did he go, Dr. Pru?
00:50:49He was a very sick man. Who knows what happened to him?
00:50:53Mr. Flay is still alive.
00:50:55Mr. Flay?
00:50:57Titus has seen him.
00:50:59And he also sells something else. A wild thing.
00:51:02A wild girl.
00:51:04And now he says he's in love with her.
00:51:08And I'm Nanny.
00:51:11I'm sorry, Nanny.
00:51:16I can't stand it.
00:51:18Go, go.
00:51:19Go, go.
00:51:34Now, learn, Lordship.
00:51:37Learn the code. Learn the canon.
00:51:40Learn who you are.
00:51:42Learn Gormenghast.
00:51:44It's my family, Mr. Secretary.
00:51:51And I'll learn what I'll learn in my own time.
00:52:14Starve, then.
00:52:15Starve, then.
00:52:43It's him. I hate him, don't you?
00:53:09This way.
00:53:13Titus, I'm frightened.
00:53:23I know what I'm doing.
00:53:25I want to show you something.
00:53:27This way.
00:53:27It's her. The wild girl.
00:53:47She was there. I saw her. She must be able to get in and out of the castle whenever she wants.
00:53:54I didn't come all this way just to see her.
00:53:57Come down.
00:53:58You said we were going to go and see Mr. Flame to find out what happened to father.
00:54:02This stupid wild girl. Why are you so interested in her? You can't be like her in any way. And if mother knew, what would she say?
00:54:10I don't care what she says. She never talks to me anyway. She's got her stupid birds, hasn't she?
00:54:16Well, now I've got something better. And that's what they don't like. They think they know everything.
00:54:22Well, now I know something that they don't. And I'll tell you something else, Fuchsia. I want to be just like her.
00:54:27Come on. Gone again? He's in your charge.
00:54:31I'm not his keeper, ladyship.
00:54:33Barkentine, find the boy. And his sister. Though you needn't waste too much time on that.
00:54:39Go away!
00:54:40I'll have you pinned to the rock with your eyes out, Barkentine. Believe me.
00:54:45Lordships come and lordships go, ladyship.
00:54:50Gormengast stays put.
00:54:52This wild thing. You think that's what this is all about?
00:54:58It would appear to be, madam.
00:55:00It's the brat from his foster mother, isn't it?
00:55:03I would hypothesize that quite possibly, given the history...
00:55:06Why can you not use one word when one will do, squalor?
00:55:10Yes.
00:55:11This thing's stealing from the carvers. Am I right?
00:55:14They say she steals only the best, only the most beautiful, your ladyship.
00:55:17What's that got to do with it? The carvers loathe her.
00:55:21And he is the male heir, squalor.
00:55:23Yes.
00:55:24That infested rag, Barkentine is right. Gormengast is all.
00:55:30The...
00:55:30I don't know what's worse. You clammed up, or you in full flow.
00:55:36Go away. I prefer my birds.
00:55:39Madam?
00:55:42The owls! They killed my father in the Tower of Flint.
00:55:46What he wanted, ladyship. Cook, slug, swelter, you went too, same time.
00:55:52Oh, noble mayor.
00:55:54Why didn't anybody tell me?
00:55:56Only I knew, ladyship. Lordship now, look to duty.
00:56:00Come back with us, Mr Flay.
00:56:03Can't.
00:56:03I could show you the tunnel. You could live in the East Wing. No one would find you there.
00:56:08Burnished. That's it.
00:56:11Look out for Steerpike.
00:56:12Why?
00:56:13Why always, Steerpike, it's not fair.
00:56:16People don't like him just because he's more brilliant than them, that's all.
00:56:21At least he talks to me.
00:56:23And at least he's better than this wild thing.
00:56:26Please come back with us, Mr Flay.
00:56:31Be ready, lordship. No tunnel. We'll watch. Come when you need me.
00:56:37Fuchsia! Fuchsia!
00:56:44Now you'll learn, because you'll stay there till you do!
00:56:47I'm so sorry, nanny.
00:56:56I don't know what to do.
00:57:02No one loves me.
00:57:07What shall I do?
00:57:10I can't dream forever.
00:57:12Lady Fuchsia.
00:57:28I had no idea you'd be here.
00:57:32I didn't know her well, but I thought...
00:57:35I'm sure your flowers will please her most.
00:57:38It's all stupid, anyway.
00:57:43And I didn't think you were so sentimental.
00:57:46I have my moods, too.
00:57:48No.
00:57:49How dare you?
00:57:53You please yourself.
00:57:55Why can't I?
00:57:56I understand.
00:58:04No, you don't.
00:58:06If I understand anything, I understand anger.
00:58:10And that's because I understand what it feels like to be rejected.
00:58:13And don't think I don't understand loneliness, too.
00:58:16I'm sorry.
00:58:17I'm sorry.
00:58:17I'm sorry.
00:58:26No, no.
00:58:31This is horrible.
00:58:32You are horrible.
00:58:37You leave me alone.
00:58:38You'll never come near me.
00:58:49I can wait.
00:58:50Stones.
00:58:57Stones.
00:58:59Stone.
00:59:01Rock.
00:59:03I hate it all.
00:59:08¶¶
00:59:38¶¶
01:00:08¶¶