The Gentle Pursuit of Love: The Cushing Story

Bullerology

The Gentle Pursuit of Love: The Cushing Story  What does it mean to love someone — truly, deeply, and over a lifetime? The Gentle Pursuit of Love is an intimate, heartfelt interview-based documentary that explores the early days of a lifelong relationship. Through candid conversations and personal stories, this film captures the quiet strength, subtle humor, and enduring faith that sustained a marriage through decades of life’s joys and challenges. Filmed with care and sincerity, this project is more than a love story — it’s a reminder that real love is often found in the gentle pursuit, the small gestures, the patient waiting, and the everyday choices to stay. 🎬 Why Watch? Discover a moving story of authentic love and commitment   Be inspired by timeless wisdom from real-life experience   Reflect on what it means to love and be loved   💬 Leave a comment to share your thoughts or your own love story.  📌 Subscribe for more films, stories, and creative projects.  #LoveStory #Documentary #Marriage #Relationships #Bullerology We would like to thank Scott Buckley for letting us use some awesome music. 'First Snow' by Scott Buckley - released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au  Thank you for all your likes, comments, shares and of course your support! Be sure to subscribe to the channel and share it with your friends. You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Rumble, Dailymotion and on our website.   Bullerology Links.  Website: https://jarredbuller.wixsite.com/bullerology  Twitter: https://x.com/bullerology  Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61555005095385&mibextid=ZbWKwL  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@bullerology  Rumble: https://rumble.com/user/Bullerology  Dailymotion: https://www.dailymotion.com/Bullerology  Linktree: linktr.ee/bullerology

Transcript

00:00Hi, my name is Jared Bullard.

00:05This is the story of an Air Force mechanic that met a nursing student.

00:10Spoiler alert, they fall in love.

00:12They also happen to be my grandparents.

00:15I've always been inspired by their unwavering love for each other and how they work as a

00:20team through compromise, how they believe that family is forever, and how they weather

00:25the storm, most importantly, together.

00:29And most of all, how they never stop pursuing one another.

00:34Their story has shaped the way that I think about love, commitment, and what it truly

00:38means to build a life with someone.

00:41So I wanted to share it with you and the world in the hopes that you might feel inspired

00:45as well.

00:47This is a story of my grandparents, Norma and Charles, a story of steady devotion and

00:53gentle strength.

00:54I call it the gentle pursuit of love, the Cushing story.

00:59I love my grandparents more than anything, and hopefully you will come to love them as

01:04well through the interview.

01:07I hope you enjoy and I hope you feel inspired.

01:10So here we go.

01:24I love my grandparents more than anything, and hopefully you will come to love them as

01:54well through the interview.

02:22We can start with, before you met, how old were you, where were you at in life, your

02:27goals and aspirations, and who were you looking for as a partner?

02:31I don't need to see that.

02:33I can remember.

02:34Okay.

02:35Well, I was 17 years old, and you're a year ahead of me, aren't you?

02:41Yep.

02:42So how old were you, 18?

02:4418.

02:4518.

02:46So you guys are a year apart?

02:47Approximately.

02:48A year apart, close to a year apart.

02:50A little bit more.

02:51I was born in July and she was born in November, so we're not that much a year apart.

02:55Same year, though.

02:56Yeah.

02:57Okay.

02:58And where were you at in life?

03:02I was in nursing school, a four-year course, to be a registered nurse with a four-year

03:11degree.

03:12Okay.

03:13And what is this other, who were you looking for as a partner?

03:20Yeah.

03:21Someone who knew Jesus Christ and to whom he gave his life.

03:29Both our lives and goals would complement each other.

03:33That's what I was looking for.

03:36So, Grandpa, how did you guys meet, if you want to tell the story?

03:41He can remember.

03:44It's fuzzy for me.

03:48Well, the college age group in Rapid City, South Dakota, used to meet every Sunday, some

04:05of them in the Methodist church and some in the Presbyterian church.

04:16And I was a Lutheran?

04:19The nurses made a habit of going from one to the other.

04:27To the different youth groups?

04:29Yeah.

04:30Okay.

04:31So, we were in the Lutheran, no, Methodist Presbyterian church at that time.

04:46I was in the Air Force, but I was attending South Dakota School of Mines.

04:59Yeah.

05:00So, I got to know the student that was leading the Presbyterian group quite well and his

05:13father, who was a Presbyterian minister.

05:18And so, I would attend the Presbyterian group.

05:24That Sunday, it was the first Sunday of the school year.

05:32So, everybody was introducing themselves.

05:38Her sister, Mickey, was in the group the year ahead.

05:47So, when she said her name, I asked her if she was a sister to Mickey.

05:59And she did.

06:00She said yes.

06:01So, the first thing she asked me was, my sister Mickey told me to meet Reverend Sam Cushing

06:10when I got here.

06:13And I said, I can introduce you to him.

06:18Yeah.

06:19He's my father.

06:22Makes it a little easier to introduce someone.

06:25Right.

06:26But he's out of town now, so you will have to wait.

06:29But we can meet him for sure.

06:34So, that was the first point of introduction.

06:42The Presbyterian youth group leader had a habit of taking the nurses out for coffee

06:53at a real nice coffee shop that everybody liked in Rapid City after the meeting.

07:02So, you guys would go to the coffee shop.

07:05I sat next to her.

07:08And I felt a very close connection to her at that time.

07:19Did you feel that connection at that time?

07:22No.

07:23No.

07:24She didn't.

07:25I saw him looking across at her.

07:27She thought I was looking at a blonde across the table.

07:32One of my students, I was a student with her in nursing.

07:38And she was very beautiful.

07:40She attracted a lot of young men.

07:43So, I thought, well, I'm lost.

07:49If he's looking at her, I can't.

07:52I'm not equal to her in soul.

07:55But the problem with that reasoning is that I was sitting next to her.

08:03So, I would have trouble looking at her at the table without being obvious.

08:11It was one of those half-round things.

08:15So, that was the whole problem in the situation.

08:21But anyway, so that's where my first response to her came from,

08:33was that I felt a connection sitting next to her.

08:40And it's always been that way.

08:44Did you guys start dating soon after that, or was meeting your dad first?

08:49Well, this group met every weekend, wasn't it?

08:54Yep, every Sunday.

08:56So, sometimes he couldn't make it, but that's where we would see each other.

09:02Otherwise, he was in the Air Force.

09:06But they, the nurses, they didn't know you.

09:12But they, the nurses, were housed in a dormitory of business school.

09:25And it got to a place where she and I would, I'd come meet her after.

09:35I was in the Air Force, so I had to work at the Air Force base.

09:41Yeah.

09:42Ellsworth Air Force Base, outside the town.

09:45So, when I could, I would come pick her up, and we would walk downtown to a coffee shop.

09:55Gotcha.

09:57That was our first dating, basically, was going for coffee.

10:07Okay.

10:09So, we did that on a pretty regular basis after we got to go, got together.

10:22Is there anything you can think of that drew you to wanting to pursue more of a relationship with Grandma?

10:33Just the feeling of connection, emotional connection to her, that I felt when I was sitting in the coffee shop with her.

10:46I thought that that was worth pursuing.

10:52Yeah.

10:54Because I felt definitely connected to her in that setting.

11:02How about you, Grandma?

11:03Was there something that you felt drew you to want to pursue more than just, like, casual?

11:11Yeah, I knew at the moment that when his focus on me turned from lust to love.

11:25I just saw that change.

11:29He asked me if he could date me, and I didn't know.

11:34I just didn't know it was God's will.

11:37Yeah.

11:38So, I prayed about it.

11:41For three months.

11:42Three months.

11:43Three months before she decided to start dating you.

11:46I know.

11:47Sometimes it takes a while.

11:48Coffee shop, and with the other people around, I saw that change.

11:53Oh, it was just the two of us.

11:55I saw the change, and I knew right then, and I had no qualms, no questions about it after that.

12:07Nice.

12:08I was his if he wanted me.

12:10There you go.

12:18And then you guys decided to start dating and take things more seriously?

12:24When school got out,

12:28she had graduated from nurses training, and she needed a job.

12:41So, she took a job in a congregational church camp in the Black Hills.

12:52So, we got to spend the summer together.

12:55Oh, there you go.

12:58At the camp.

13:01Since my dad ran the camp, I was there quite a bit.

13:06Yeah.

13:10Yep.

13:11So, you guys got to know each other pretty well through the summer?

13:14Yeah.

13:15That's good.

13:16We saw each other more frequently, and I wasn't, I had the summer off from school.

13:25And so, that didn't interfere with our getting to know each other.

13:33You know, I didn't have to be at school so many hours a day.

13:38Gotcha.

13:39Did you guys have any memorable moments or thoughts or feelings when you guys met each other's family

13:47and got to know each other for that summer?

13:51Well, I was in awe of Chuck's father, the congregational minister.

13:59He was kind and interesting to listen to.

14:03Chuck's mom, quote Helen, unquote mom, was his second mom, his first mom.

14:12Her niece died three months prior to his father.

14:17She died in January.

14:18I met her in September.

14:23Yeah, and he was from a big family.

14:26Yeah.

14:27Seven children, and I was just four of us.

14:33My family.

14:36So, seeing where he came from and seeing how, I've heard that grandpa's a lot like his dad and stuff like that.

14:45You got to see really his kind and gentle and how he was, and that, I assume, helped put your mind at ease.

14:54Mm-hmm.

14:55Yeah.

15:02So then, you guys got to know each other.

15:05How soon after that summer of you guys deciding to pursue a relationship and how soon after that did you guys get engaged?

15:13We got engaged in Rapid City, and I was in my junior year of college.

15:23And we went for a walk, do you remember?

15:27Mm-hmm.

15:28And Chuck asked me to marry him, and I said, I'd have to think about it.

15:34I wasn't sure yet.

15:36I hadn't had that.

15:38So, she thought about it a long time.

15:40I hadn't had that confirmation yet.

15:43Yeah.

15:47Because I believed, I didn't believe in divorce.

15:51Mm-hmm.

15:52Back then, it wasn't, people didn't get divorced as regularly as they do.

16:00Yeah.

16:01Nowadays.

16:02Nowadays, but, and I grew up, my mother and father professing that divorce is never an option.

16:15Yeah.

16:16But I learned, and that changed in my belief later on.

16:22Mm-hmm.

16:24But you just don't know.

16:27So that's why I waited, because I wanted to be awfully sure and wanted a sign from God,

16:32because I wasn't one to just divorce and find someone else or date someone on the side while I was married.

16:43You know, that wasn't something I would do.

16:47Yeah.

16:48So...

16:49So you waited three months before deciding to date him, and then you had to wait for how long after?

16:57Two years.

16:58Two years?

16:59Yeah.

17:00And when she told you that she'd have to think about it, Grandpa, what did you,

17:04what was your thoughts and feelings at that moment?

17:06Well, I told her, take all the time you need.

17:09I'm not going anywhere.

17:11Mm-hmm.

17:12I'll be here when you decide, because I've already decided.

17:18You have to make up your mind, whatever it takes.

17:22So that's what I told her.

17:26You can take all the time you like, because I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to.

17:32Unless you chase me away, I'm not going anywhere.

17:35Yeah.

17:36So she had to decide, and I just waited.

17:43Yeah.

17:46That's what Jeff says.

17:49You're always waiting on me.

17:52Yeah.

17:55He waited on her to start with, and he's still waiting on her.

18:01But, you know, that's why, like, I like to, whenever I think about this project,

18:07I've shared with you guys this story, is the gentle pursuit of love, you know?

18:14Yeah, I like that.

18:16Grandpa gently pursued you, didn't push you, didn't rush you, you know?

18:22Nope.

18:28And I've repeated that to her a number of times since we got married.

18:34And you what?

18:35Repeated that to you a number of times since we got married.

18:39Repeated.

18:40I'm not going anywhere.

18:42You'll have to chase me away if you don't want me around.

18:47Because I'm here until you chase me away, right?

18:53And with six kids, there's come times when she wanted to run away.

19:01I think we all feel that sometimes.

19:03Yeah.

19:07And I guess I'm pretty sure you pursued her even then.

19:10Oh, yeah.

19:11I chased her down the alley.

19:12Oh, yeah.

19:13She ran after me.

19:14I did run.

19:15Did you?

19:16Yeah.

19:17I wasn't going to go very far, I don't think.

19:18I just...

19:19She was running down the alley, and I went and chased her down and said,

19:22where are you going?

19:24You don't have to run away.

19:26My son, oldest son was...

19:30Trial.

19:31A trial.

19:33And I just...

19:36The moment before I ran, I just said, I just can't take this.

19:40I can't do it.

19:41I can't do it.

19:42I ran out, and he ran after me.

19:47Oh, yeah.

19:48But I would have come back.

19:50I just...

19:51Ah!

19:52It's like, ah!

19:53I got his arm here.

19:55Well, like I said, gentle pursuit.

19:57Pursued you.

19:58Brought you back.

19:59Yeah.

20:01You guys are in it together.

20:03I told her, you don't have to run away.

20:08If you need space, we can get space.

20:12We can find some place for you to live where you don't have to put up with the kids.

20:19You don't have to run away.

20:22We'll arrange it.

20:23We'll make sure it's okay.

20:28So that was my feeling all along.

20:34Through thick and thin, through the storm, right?

20:36Yep.

20:38My whole job as her husband was to take care of her first.

20:45Then I take care of the kids.

20:49But she doesn't have to run.

20:53I never ran again.

20:55You didn't?

20:56And that was it?

20:58Brought you back and made you stick around, huh?

21:01Yeah.

21:02I'm pretty sure that, like you said, probably wouldn't have gotten too far.

21:06No, yeah.

21:07Probably not.

21:10So then, so you guys got engaged.

21:13You guys...

21:15Did you get engaged before you guys got out of school in the Air Force, or was that after?

21:20Before.

21:22Yeah, before.

21:23So then you guys finished the school in the Air Force?

21:26Yeah, I finished my nursing class and graduated from Augustana College in Sioux Falls.

21:34Yeah, the last year I made seven trips across South Dakota from Rapid City to Sioux Falls

21:44because she was in school in Sioux Falls and I was in the Air Force in Rapid City.

21:51Wow, Grandma, he was really pursuing you.

21:53I made seven trips across that state.

21:58I learned to road across the state quite well.

22:02In fact, I built it.

22:06They were building it from the river to Rapid City that summer,

22:13so every time I went across, it was a little bit closer.

22:18There you go.

22:20I helped build that road all the way across.

22:26Well, too, I promised Mom that I would not get married until I graduated from college.

22:37Because she was paying for school.

22:39I was what?

22:41Your mother was paying for school, so you guaranteed that I would not interfere with you graduating.

22:50So you guys waited to get married until when he was done with the Air Force and you were done with school.

23:01Yeah.

23:02So how soon after the graduation and you getting out of the Air Force did you guys get married?

23:08Well, I graduated in 1966.

23:12We got married that year.

23:13Yeah, we got married in Augusta.

23:19So not soon after you guys graduated and got out of the Air Force and you guys got married.

23:25Yeah.

23:26I mean, I met Mother's concerns for me to wait.

23:33I got married.

23:34We got married two days after I got out of the Air Force.

23:38There you go.

23:40I met her desire, so I didn't have anything to say about it.

23:47They didn't like him, but I didn't care.

23:50I loved him.

23:51I know I loved him.

23:52I know he was for me.

23:55But a year or two or maybe we started having children and then Mom realized that he wasn't just going to marry me

24:07and get my money and run.

24:10Their thought was that I was going to marry her so she would put me through school.

24:16Oh, that's right.

24:19That was the whole thing.

24:21Yeah.

24:22Take the nurses' wages and get me through school.

24:29Then I would leave her.

24:32But they didn't know me.

24:34As time went on, yeah.

24:36That never happened.

24:38Did you guys have 52, 53 years going on?

24:41Oh, marriage?

24:43Yep, 53 years.

24:45I thought it was a lot more than that.

24:48Well, she thought it was.

24:50Oh, right.

24:51It seems longer to her.

24:53Well, he still hasn't left you yet.

24:56I got married in 66.

24:57Yeah, 66.

24:59Well, yeah, he hasn't left you yet.

25:03Can you guys tell me about your wedding day?

25:07Well, we got married in my hometown.

25:13In her home church.

25:15The Lutheran Church.

25:17The Lutheran Church.

25:20And my dad could not run the service because he was congregational and we were in the Lutheran Church.

25:29So he could marry us, give us the vows, but he could not run the service.

25:41Because the Lutheran Church wouldn't let a congregational minister run the service in their church.

25:49So we had three pastors on the stage.

25:55Oh, right.

25:56Wow.

25:57The Lutheran pastor.

25:58The Lutheran pastor, my father, congregational pastor, and my brother, who was a Presbyterian minister at the time.

26:06Oh.

26:07Yeah.

26:09Which brother was that?

26:10George.

26:11George. Oh, so George helped marry you too?

26:13No, he was one of my...

26:17Attendants?

26:18Attendants.

26:19Oh, okay.

26:22So we actually had three ministers on stage.

26:26But two of them were running it. Gotcha.

26:29But he wasn't my best man.

26:32My best man was a fellow student from South Dakota School of the Minds that we were good friends with.

26:46Who was your maid of honor?

26:50Mickey?

26:51Yeah, Mickey.

26:54Annie.

26:55Annie.

26:57Annie was...

27:02She's two years behind me, Annie.

27:05And then my youngest sister was just a little girl, so she was the flower girl.

27:14Was there a little boy on your side that was...

27:20What do you call the little...

27:21Paul.

27:22Paul?

27:26My youngest brother.

27:29Your youngest brother is...

27:32You mean Richard?

27:33Richard.

27:34Richard, yeah.

27:35Richard.

27:36Not Paul.

27:37Richard.

27:38The youngest son is Paul.

27:42Yeah, they walked together down that hill.

27:45Yeah.

27:49So it went really well. I mean, the two pastors were okay with each other.

27:54Yeah.

27:55There was no...

27:59Conflict.

28:01Yeah.

28:02That's good.

28:03Mom's wish came...

28:04My mother's demands came through.

28:09She wanted to have that church?

28:10Yeah.

28:11She was a member of that Lutheran church.

28:14She grew up a Lutheran in North Dakota.

28:18Gotcha.

28:19And lived on a farm.

28:20Was it a pretty big wedding?

28:25Big enough for me.

28:27I would say moderate.

28:29Yeah.

28:30There were 300 people there that...

28:33Oh, 300?

28:34Yeah.

28:35Oh, that's a big one.

28:36Yeah, that's a pretty good size.

28:38I didn't think there was that many, but...

28:42And students, some of the fellow nursing students came, those who could.

28:52Some lived far away and couldn't get there.

28:57So...

28:58Yeah.

29:01And then, I know Grandpa, you told me that you guys ended up staying

29:06a couple days afterwards because some family came into town and you guys...

29:09Oh, yeah, her mother's family was there.

29:15I think all of them.

29:21I don't remember now.

29:23Some of her sisters.

29:25The day after the wedding, they were all at your house and we just hung out with them.

29:31Yeah.

29:34So, we didn't go anywhere for a couple days.

29:39Then we traveled up to the Black Hills and visited Dad's congregation in New Underwood.

29:49Yeah.

29:51And then traveled across the state to University of South Dakota to start school.

29:57Yeah.

30:00I always thought that was kind of unique when you told me that because our families,

30:05throughout all our weddings now, have always been family comes in out of town

30:09and we kind of hang out for a couple days, whoever can.

30:14Interesting to figure out it started with you guys.

30:16Yeah.

30:18You guys have always instilled family.

30:21It's very important.

30:22Yeah, family-oriented.

30:25Even when families don't agree, we...

30:30Right.

30:31Like you said, even though they weren't completely okay with him, they still showed up,

30:34still supported you and still stuck around for a couple days to get to know him.

30:40Yep.

30:41I think that's really a unique thing that has continued on that we celebrate with the other sides of the families.

30:49Right.

30:51It all started with you guys.

30:54Yeah.

30:59So you, like Grandpa was saying, you guys headed out then to your first house.

31:03Yep.

31:04Yes.

31:05And that is when the camping trip happened, right?

31:09Yeah.

31:10So we're going to have to hear about that.

31:12So, Grandpa, do you want to tell the story?

31:14He has a different idea of it than I do.

31:19So how about Grandpa start and Grandma fills it in?

31:21I wrote it down.

31:23Okay, you can do it.

31:25We were on our way to Vermilion, South Dakota, where Chuck was going to attend the U of South Dakota University.

31:34We stopped at a picnic table in a campsite outside of Winter, South Dakota.

31:40She didn't know where that was.

31:42No.

31:43I had to tell her.

31:46We crawled under a picnic table and pulled a big open sleeping bag over us.

31:53Chuck went to sleep immediately.

31:56It started raining.

31:58Part of my body was over a hole that quickly filled with water.

32:03You know under picnic table where the feet are?

32:06Yeah, they kick that little divot out.

32:08That's where she ended up?

32:09That's where she ended up.

32:10Yeah.

32:11Oh.

32:12So I got soaking wet.

32:14When he woke up, I said in an angry voice, if this is camping, I want no part of it.

32:24So Grandpa's instincts to find higher ground even when he was sleeping kicked in, huh?

32:30He was very careful after that.

32:35So that's where it started, him collecting the stuff to make you comfortable to go camping?

32:39Always, yeah.

32:40The family when we started having children and what was good for them.

32:45You always had the family first thing what was best for them at any camping site.

32:52But I always like that because it's a funny story.

32:55And, well, not funny for you at the time.

32:58No, yeah.

32:59But it's funny to look back, but it's also a testament to you guys and your relationship

33:05that you knew how important camping was to him.

33:08But you were like, if I'm going to do this for you, then you got to make me comfortable

33:14and be compromised.

33:15And now our family camps in style because of that, all the stuff that he's accumulated

33:22throughout the years too.

33:23Yeah.

33:24Yeah.

33:25Your dad told me he had never, he may have camped once growing up.

33:34Jeff.

33:35Jeff.

33:36Yeah.

33:37They didn't camp too much.

33:38But he learned to camp and learned well.

33:44It was before Jeff and Kara got married.

33:48Yeah.

33:49They came, camped with us and our children.

33:52Well, they were married.

33:54Or they were just married, I think.

33:57Just married.

33:58They didn't have any children, I don't think.

34:00He learned to camp.

34:02He has learned to camp.

34:03He does a good job.

34:05Yeah.

34:06And our family learned to love it.

34:08Yeah.

34:09But like I said, just like the wedding started with you guys of us spending days with other

34:16family members and stuff like that after weddings and stuff like that.

34:19But just like that, the camping started with you guys.

34:21It was a legacy that started and rooted in compromise for each other.

34:30Yeah.

34:31Last year, your dad was fixing up the camper and getting ready to go camping.

34:40And she told me, I have never enjoyed camping.

34:46Really?

34:49You never told me that.

34:53Yeah.

34:54I mean, I don't think it was her thing.

34:56No.

34:57But I'm a mom.

34:58Like I said.

34:59And it was good for the children and the grandchildren.

35:02I don't know if we have grandchildren yet, but.

35:05We all went, we grew up going camping too.

35:07Yeah.

35:08There's plenty of camping trips that I have very fond memories of.

35:12And you guys were there.

35:13It was the whole family camping.

35:15Oh.

35:16So we did it as big groups growing up.

35:19Yep.

35:20Every time you go camping, it rains.

35:24Yeah.

35:26Me and my siblings, we always say every time our family goes camping,

35:29it's got to rain at least one of the days, if not two.

35:32Yeah.

35:33So you always prepare for rain.

35:34Yeah.

35:35He was always ready for it.

35:37We always brought enough tarps and enough rain gear.

35:39We all brought rain jackets and extra warm clothes for the rain days.

35:44But it clears out all the wimps.

35:46Right, Grandpa?

35:47Yep.

35:48Then you get campgrounds to yourself.

35:51Yeah.

35:52It was my job to make sure you were safe and sound in camp always,

36:01even if you didn't like to camp.

36:04Yeah.

36:05I didn't, but I did it for the kids.

36:09I learned to cook over the fire and all those things and taught them.

36:15But it wasn't a favorite thing of mine, but I went along with it.

36:20I'm sure you enjoyed it.

36:22I'm sure you enjoyed it.

36:23Yeah.

36:24No.

36:27When the children got older, they all could pitch in to help.

36:32The boys helped Grandpa with food and whatever,

36:36and the girls with the kitchen part and making meals.

36:42It got better as they got older.

36:45For one thing, we always had equipment to camp.

36:52Yeah.

36:53That's one thing.

36:54I spent a lot of effort getting camping equipment.

36:59Yeah.

37:00Your camping.

37:02Marion always said.

37:05His sister, Marion.

37:07I loved to go camping with Chuck.

37:12He knows how to provide and get things done.

37:15Yeah.

37:16You make the campground home.

37:18Yeah.

37:20I had a sergeant in the Air Force.

37:26That was one thing he made a comment that I never forgot,

37:32and that was when you go camping,

37:39the campfire and the surround is your kitchen.

37:45Your bedroom is somewhere else.

37:50You always separate your equipment so that you have.

37:57You're not cooking on top of your bed.

38:02Yeah.

38:04That's interesting.

38:07Never gave it a thought, but yeah, that's what you want to do.

38:12Separate where you are, what part of the camp is your bedrooms,

38:21and what part of your camp is your kitchen.

38:26That man lived in camp three weeks out of a month.

38:33Yeah.

38:36On his job, so he had a good idea.

38:39Yeah, there you go.

38:41When you have to live in camp all the time, you learn.

38:48So he gave me some good advice in camping.

38:57So you guys get your first house and have your first year of marriage.

39:03Do you have any memorable moments or challenges from that time?

39:10Many.

39:12Many.

39:14Oh, yeah, it was a little house.

39:18Our house was 48 feet square.

39:22Well, it's not very big.

39:25It was on a plot that was huge.

39:28Oh, yeah.

39:31The house was actually going to be the garage near the back of the lot.

39:37Yeah, and the house, the regular house.

39:41It was supposed to be built out front, but it never got built.

39:45Not while we were there anyway.

39:47So we had a front lawn that was 120-some feet long.

39:54Wow, there you go.

39:56It was a comfortable house.

40:01There was actually two bedrooms, but we just used one bedroom for storage.

40:06The smaller of the two bedrooms, we just used it for storage.

40:12We didn't have kids then.

40:14No.

40:16What challenges did you guys overcome in your first year of marriage?

40:21Challenges.

40:23For working and me going to school.

40:27Yeah.

40:29The opposite schedules was a challenge for you guys?

40:32Yep.

40:34I usually worked the 3-11 shift when I was in the hospital.

40:42And he worked day shift.

40:46Yep.

40:48If you had to tell other people going through their first year of marriage how to get through challenges,

40:57what do you think your advice to them would be?

41:01Keep going.

41:05See your way through.

41:10There will be challenges.

41:14You have to always look at seeing your way through it, not in it.

41:27Because there's always a way through.

41:33I mean, look how many people have lived through those years with growing families.

41:44So there's always a way through.

41:47You have to see your way through.

41:49See that it doesn't end here.

41:57You just have to work your way through it.

42:03Find a way.

42:06Weather the storm.

42:07Yep.

42:09Yeah, there were storms.

42:13But as you worked, you know, together, become like one together in heart and soul,

42:25it got easier to weather those storms.

42:30We were working together with each other, not against each other.

42:35Against each other makes it awfully, awfully hard.

42:40I don't know awfully is the word, but it made it very hard.

42:45Yeah.

42:47But we learned, you know.

42:53Well, like I just, you know, with us talking today, you know,

42:58gently pursuing each other continuously, you know, that's how you guys made it through.

43:04Always weathering the storm by, like the camping trip, compromising,

43:10understanding where the other person's coming from.

43:12I think that is what I've seen you guys continuously do.

43:16Seeing where the other one's coming from, compromising,

43:20working together as a team and weathering the storm.

43:24That's life.

43:26I'm saying that.

43:27That's life.

43:29Well, I think Frank Sinatra's life.

43:31Oh, Frank Sinatra.

43:32That's life.

43:36Do you even know who he is?

43:37Frank Sinatra, yes.

43:38Yeah.

43:39I like Frank Sinatra a lot.

43:43I know when Gramp and I were talking the other day, he told me that he always sang you the song,

43:53You Are My Sunshine.

43:55Oh, yeah.

43:56Do you remember that?

43:57Yeah.

43:58You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

44:02You make me happy when skies are gray.

44:07You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.

44:11Please don't take my sunshine away.

44:17He was telling me he always sang that to you.

44:21He said he always sang that to you.

44:23Yeah.

44:24It's funny that you brought up a song and then he brought up a song.

44:29I think we're almost done, but I'm going to do these reflecting on each other questions I have here in the back.

44:43Do you guys believe in love at first sight?

44:49She didn't.

44:53I was pretty convinced.

44:56I guess I needed confirmation.

44:59So I don't know if that's the right answer, no.

45:02But if you feel like you don't believe in this, because it takes time to, you know, I've always been told love is a choice, too.

45:10So, yeah, you can love at first sight, but then you have to continuously choose love.

45:14So you answering no is a decent answer.

45:19But at the same time, where you were saying lust to love, some people can confuse love at first sight for lust.

45:27So where he was convinced love at first sight, but you were like, I need to make sure it's love and not lust.

45:34So I think your answer no is pretty accurate to what you were saying.

45:41Grandpa, what makes grandma so special?

45:48Wow.

45:51She's beautiful.

45:55She's very sweet and loving.

46:01She has been a wonderful mother.

46:09So she's done everything that needs to be done as mother of six kids.

46:16So that's pretty beautiful.

46:21What makes grandpa so special?

46:24His sincerity.

46:27His never ending love of me.

46:30He's my, quote, second half, unquote, he'll always be my lover.

46:37Does that match what he's saying?

46:39Yeah, it does.

46:41Grandpa, what does grandma mean to you?

46:44She means that I never have to question her love.

46:51And that she will always care for me and my children.

47:04Even when she doesn't want to.

47:09What does grandpa mean to you, grandma?

47:13His love for me is pure.

47:19And I know, very sound, and I have no questions that he never stops loving me.

47:30And he's made a goal of helping me to be very happy in the marriage

47:38and also helping the children to know what love is

47:45and to grow up healthy in love.

47:54Healthy in what love really is.

47:59Grandpa, what is grandma's best qualities?

48:03Her best quality is that she is so sweet.

48:08She loves with all her heart.

48:18Beautiful to see her love for her family.

48:26What's grandpa's best quality?

48:31He's truthful, friendly, always sees the best in a person, easily forgives.

48:45Even if a person shows a very negative appearance or whatever attitude,

48:57he can find the good in him and focus on that.

49:03Grandpa, what's your favorite memory of grandma?

49:07How she loves me.

49:12Yeah.

49:18I have to say that's my favorite memory.

49:20She loves me with her whole heart.

49:27Grandma, what's your favorite memory of grandpa?

49:31When he asked me to marry him and when I knew it was God's will.

49:40And he's never changed from that.

49:52I know that he loves me as God wants him to.

50:00For the right reasons.

50:02And he was a very good father.

50:05And he's in a good life.

50:13Yeah.

50:14What were some of the best times in your marriage?

50:19Either one of you guys can answer that one.

50:24We're in the best time of our marriage.

50:27Yeah.

50:28Right?

50:29We are in the best time of our marriage.

50:32That's a good one.

50:33Yeah.

50:35I have put that the best time was after the children were out of the house

50:40and on their own and were prospering, were doing well.

50:52Raising children isn't always easy.

50:55Teen years are the toughest.

50:58Because they're confused.

51:03They're looking to be something and it's just a hard time.

51:10Yeah.

51:11And there's always a time where the children seem to want to push against the parents

51:18to do their own thing and don't want to do what their parents want.

51:26But you get through it.

51:28And if you love, you get through it.

51:32And we did a lot of praying.

51:36Yeah.

51:37Yeah.

51:40What lessons have you learned from your marriage?

51:50Well, through the years we've come to know that it was the best thing you've got.

52:05Yeah.

52:09Oh, that answers the question.

52:11Yeah.

52:14Similar to my mom always told me and my siblings that family's the only thing you got.

52:20At the end of the day, friends come and go.

52:23You know, money comes and goes.

52:25So similar to that's probably where she got it from is from you guys.

52:29You guys are what you guys got.

52:31Friends come and go.

52:32Money comes and goes.

52:34Yeah.

52:36But family is family.

52:38Yeah.

52:40You don't get to choose your family.

52:42No, you don't.

52:43I say you don't get to choose your family.

52:45No.

52:47They are yours and they'll always be there.

52:51Always be your family.

52:54That's the law of the land.

52:58It's never going to change.

53:00Yeah.

53:02What do you think are some keys to having a long and happy marriage?

53:08Well, I have put always make up after an argument.

53:14Do not let, and quote, do not let the sun go down on your anger, unquote.

53:21Forgive and forget.

53:24Frequently through the day, we express our love to each other verbally

53:30and show our love with a kiss and a hug.

53:36Now, you know, the children are gone and it's just us.

53:39A lot of times that's when the mother and father split, you know, after the kids are out.

53:46But our marriage is strong and we love each other.

53:53That gets us through thick and thin.

53:57We don't have much then.

54:01We are well taken care of here.

54:05We say that often.

54:07Family would come.

54:10We say that often that we are very well taken care of.

54:15Yeah.

54:18And the love and prayers of all the family, like you and Rose and Aaron's family,

54:29they keep us before the throne of God.

54:35Yeah.

54:36So you guys made it 53 years.

54:40That's how many years we were married.

54:43That's how many years we've been married.

54:45Fifty-three.

54:47We got married in 66.

54:49Sixty-six.

54:54So are you guys going to keep it going?

54:56How old is it now?

54:57Twenty-four.

54:59That's six.

55:01So that might be 52 going on 53.

55:05So I think that's 52 going on 53.

55:07Yeah, something like that.

55:09I'd have to write it down and figure it out.

55:14But does it matter?

55:15Does it matter?

55:17It's not coming to an end.

55:19We don't have an end date set.

55:21No.

55:22Oh, my God, the end date.

55:25And we'll meet each other in heaven.

55:28We'll be there with each other.

55:32Praising the Lord.

55:38Our faith in God means a lot to us and has brought us through a lot.

55:46It's brought us through and it will carry us on.

55:49Yeah, the hard times and the good times.

55:54Well, I think that's...

55:58And I told her when I chased her down, I'll never let you go.

56:03Yeah.

56:05And I won't leave until you chase me away.

56:09Right?

56:11Right.

56:13And she's never chased me away, so I'm good.

56:16She hasn't chased you away?

56:17No.

56:18No.

56:20So it's been good.

56:22Yeah.

56:26Yeah.

56:28It's good to grow old together.

56:31It is.

56:37Well, I think that is what I got for now.

56:41So, thank you.

56:43It went really good.

56:53Good-bye.

56:55Good-bye.

57:22Good-bye.

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