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00:00Traffic was up on the weekend. Let's keep the momentum going.
00:16We are HOOMAN. We go live next week.
00:21It'll be a cheap imitation. Cheap? No, no, they've spent millions.
00:25I'm Evelyn, Alex's mum. Yeah, I know.
00:29Sexy little minx, isn't she? You've overexpanded.
00:32I'm trying to find an investor. Your personal expenses are too high.
00:36I've decided to let the apartment go. Oh, Christ.
00:39I have a troll who attacks me on my own sight.
00:43My competition's launching. I'm in financial shit
00:45and I clearly need help regulating my emotions.
00:48Competition is great if it motivates. Let it fire you up.
00:52My love has no beginning, my love has no end.
01:12No front or back and my love won't bend. I'm in the middle, lost in a spin.
01:21Loving you.
01:31And you don't know, you don't know, you don't know, you don't know
01:35how glad I am. How glad I am.
01:44Mum, she wore my soccer boots again, left them outside
01:47and now they're all wet and muddy. OK, well, he used my deodorant
01:50and he left hair on it. Lunch is in the fridge.
01:53It was my deodorant. Royal pop star from New Zealand.
01:57Mum, the butt is hard. Can you come help, please?
02:01Morning. Mum, what are you doing here?
02:04Where's my blazer? Jenny hasn't had time to do my washing.
02:07She does your washing. I feel like I'm playing hide and seek with you.
02:09Mum, when will you be able to pick up my retainers?
02:11My teeth are going to go wonky again. Can you just look?
02:15OK, picking them up myself.
02:17Oh, who puts an empty bottle of milk in the fridge?
02:20Wasn't me. Wasn't me.
02:21Oh, it's me then, was it?
02:23Under the table. I wonder who put it there.
02:26Ew, that's disgusting, Mum. I drank out of that.
02:29You'll be all right.
02:31OK, will you pick me up from cadets tonight?
02:33Has everyone just piped down? Tell me a New Zealand pop star.
02:36Addy, let's go. I'm leaving. Yeah, I know, I know.
02:38Can Viv sleep over tomorrow night? And it's Lord.
02:43Well, can't she? Can who? What? When?
02:46Viv, sleep over tomorrow night.
02:48Where? How? In your bed?
02:51On the trundle.
02:54So what? It's no big deal, Mum.
02:58Oh.
03:00Says the hormonal teenage boy.
03:03Thank you. See you after school.
03:13I think it's time that we name our meeting rooms after...
03:16Inspiring women.
03:17I think it'll be a really good talking point for when the clients come in.
03:20Thanks, Paul. Chloe Kardashian?
03:22No. Kim?
03:24No. Chloe Sevigny?
03:26No. Malala, for the boardroom.
03:27Malala. Frida Kahlo?
03:29No, Paul. Why? The accident. What?
03:31A handrail literally went through her vagina, Paul.
03:33Well, that's even more inspirational.
03:35Jane Goodall. Jane Goodall?
03:38Daenerys Targaryen? What? No, guys.
03:41Real women.
03:42Sena, the warrior princess.
03:43But she's not real. To you.
03:46Jennifer. Oh, don't come at me. Chill out.
03:50Gaga.
03:51No, I don't think there should be celebrities.
03:53That feels different to someone who was literally shot in the face
03:55while campaigning for girls' education.
03:57She's right. Jeet's always right.
03:59Anne. Green Gable. Frank.
04:01Hathaway. Well, it has to be Frank.
04:03Please be Frank.
04:04Kind of a missed opportunity that Hathaway never played Frank, right?
04:07Like Princess Diaries of Anne Frank.
04:09That's a disgusting idea. It's insensitive.
04:11We need someone more cool.
04:13Yes, Penny.
04:14Inspiring Australian woman.
04:25Jemaine Greer.
04:26Jemaine Greer.
04:27Didn't she tell us to drink our own menstrual blood?
04:30She meant that figuratively, I think.
04:32Still don't get it.
04:34I liked it when she told us that ogling young boys was feminist.
04:37How did Frida come... What was she painting?
04:39Hmm.
04:43Just so I'm clear, you're feeling...
04:47undervalued and overworked.
04:50Hmm.
04:52But you've only been here a month.
04:55Paul had to pitch Ask Adam 20 times before I approved it.
04:59I'm always ignored.
05:03Do you really think it's okay to come in at 11am?
05:06Because I just... I need you to up the pace a bit.
05:08You're not at a magazine anymore.
05:10Things are really hectic for me right now, Evelyn.
05:12Are they?
05:13Yeah.
05:15Oh.
05:17Jeet would give her right arm to be at the top of the leaderboard.
05:22I think I need to take a few days off for my mental health and my chronic fatigue.
05:27All right.
05:28Oh, guys, it's light.
05:29It's good.
05:33Penn, you're on duty.
05:35Oh my God, I love that font.
05:38What are you guys looking at?
05:39Oh, boy.
05:41No, no, no, no, no.
05:43You're still very raw.
05:44I can see it in your face.
05:45Oh, no, no.
05:46I just had one of those plasma facials.
05:48I'm fine.
05:50Competition can be clarifying, you know?
05:55The Liberal Party only has eight female politicians.
05:57It's not good enough.
05:59Bit worthy.
06:00Bit true.
06:02I'm a lesbian, and no, I don't want your questions.
06:05We should be doing more with lesbians.
06:06What a wahair to your wedding as a feminist.
06:09That is a cute wah thing.
06:10Wah hot, wah air, wah ooh.
06:12Bit weak.
06:15I wonder if they'll have their own suite, Jane.
06:18I think she's a Eve Life exclusive.
06:20Guy!
06:21Guy!
06:22Ew.
06:24Let's set up a screen for the Hormone homepage.
06:27Be good for the writers to know what they're doing every minute of every day.
06:31Out here, then?
06:32In my office.
06:33No, no, in yours.
06:34How do you go viral if no one knows how to say your name?
06:38That's what we have that they just don't.
06:40A sense of humour.
06:42No, it's being serious.
06:46Eve, how much longer will I be expected to do my job,
06:49as well as Christine's job,
06:51as well as provide the moral support that Boris once did?
06:55Boris the dog?
06:56Yeah, and I'm super busy with my Ask Adam column.
06:59Which I agreed to, as long as it didn't impact your real work.
07:02It is real work.
07:03Also, can you please tell them,
07:05I definitely do have a girlfriend.
07:07Oh, Alex has a girlfriend, not you two.
07:09Yeah, and with that comes certain needs.
07:11Yeah?
07:12Like, she wants me home by six.
07:14Six?
07:15That's a red flag, Paul.
07:16Soon she won't want you to work at all.
07:18She has actually mentioned that.
07:19Yeah.
07:20She said she wants me nice and tender, like veal.
07:22Yuck.
07:24The point is, we need to replace Christine.
07:26Yeah, I have another meeting this afternoon with a potential investor.
07:30If we can get this one across the line,
07:32we'll hire someone, OK?
07:34Actually, maybe you should come to this one with me.
07:37I do value your opinion.
07:39Hmm.
07:40And your note-taking ability.
07:42My girlfriend likes it about me, too.
07:44She's a Virgo.
07:45Right, her name's Margaret O'Connell.
07:47I met her at the women in business breakfast.
07:49Oh, not the multitasker who puts coffee on her virtually?
07:53Yes, that's the one.
07:54Apparently she's into women, as in female companies.
07:57She sits on ten boards,
07:59she's mad about the environment,
08:00and she believes in climate change.
08:03We all believe in climate change.
08:05Oh, yeah, yeah.
08:06Massive environmentalists.
08:08It's just...
08:09Paper towel in the kitchen?
08:11Want to stop.
08:13I do.
08:16Oh, wish I had the confidence to greet visitors like that.
08:19Yeah, she looks like a beautiful middle-aged mermaid.
08:22Oh, brave, too.
08:23I hear there are hundreds of bull sharks in the harbour.
08:26Wow.
08:27Mm.
08:28Jesus.
08:29Evelyn Jones.
08:30Hi.
08:31Oh, Margaret, it's lovely to see you again.
08:33Oh, it's lovely to see you, too.
08:35It's lovely to see you, too.
08:36It's lovely to see you.
08:37It's lovely to see you.
08:38It's lovely to see you.
08:39It's lovely to see you.
08:40It's lovely to see you.
08:41It's lovely to see you.
08:42It's lovely to see you.
08:43It's lovely to see you again.
08:44Oh, and you.
08:45Oh, dear, you're a tough woman to get a hold of.
08:47And this must be Paul.
08:49Yes, enchanté.
08:50It's a pleasure.
08:51I'm the head of sales at Eve Life,
08:54and we are just such big fans of you
08:56and all the work you do with the marine conservation.
08:59I hear you love climate change.
09:01Well, not love it.
09:02I appreciate you.
09:03Yes, you as well.
09:06Thanks for coming to me.
09:07So sorry about this.
09:08I lost track of time.
09:09You would not believe the shit out there.
09:12Oh, wow.
09:13You need to get in and take a look for yourselves.
09:16Grab a wetsuit from the boathouse.
09:19Oh, not me.
09:21I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection.
09:26But Paul will jump in.
09:29I get ear infections.
09:30I would need plugs,
09:31and I hear there's bull sharks.
09:35The only predator out there at the moment is plastic.
09:38Oh, and Gary,
09:39who's got very big teeth,
09:41but he's harmless.
09:43Just don't frighten him.
09:47You're getting in.
09:52So, Eve Life.
09:55Tell me everything.
09:56I'd love to get a sense of who you are as a company.
09:59I've seen you on TV, of course,
10:01and read some articles.
10:03We reach about a quarter of a million women each month.
10:08Our core demographic is women 28 to 50.
10:12I mean, who are you?
10:15What do you care about?
10:19I care about making the world a better place for women.
10:23Which includes cleaner oceans.
10:27But you know,
10:28since the dawn of time,
10:29or at least since Genesis,
10:31women's lives have just...
10:32Enough of the waffly self, Evelyn.
10:34Come on, Genesis.
10:36I've been onto the site,
10:38seen some of your posts.
10:39One on the Gulf oil spill jumped out,
10:42but how are you different from other news sites?
10:45We want women to feel seen,
10:47heard,
10:48and understood.
10:50We're not the place to learn the news,
10:51but we are the place for women to know how to feel about it.
10:55That's something I understand.
10:57Why don't you come into the office and meet Cheet?
11:00She's the one that did the thing on the oil.
11:04He stopped moving.
11:06What?
11:10What did you see?
11:12A chip packet!
11:14Where?
11:16Salt and vinegar!
11:17No, where, Paul?
11:19Not what flavour!
11:22By the rocks!
11:25Go and get it!
11:31I saw Gary!
11:34Looks expensive.
11:35God.
11:36Would you read that?
11:37Fuck no.
11:38Looks like a dog's breakfast.
11:39Hate the font, hate the colour.
11:41It's all gloss and no substance.
11:44Keep going, this is helping.
11:47Your first competitor.
11:48You should feel proud, you're a pioneer.
11:50Officially.
11:51And why to make me feel old?
11:53Kids already think I'm out of touch.
11:54Hey, did I tell you that Alex wants Vivian to stay over?
11:58And?
11:59No!
12:01Too young to be a grandmother.
12:02Still have regular cycles.
12:04The perfect chance to show that you're not out of touch.
12:07Say yes!
12:08I've got to go.
12:09Finally I have found a show that Daniel and I can watch together.
12:14Let me guess, Game of Thrones?
12:16Yep.
12:18Alright, bye.
12:19Bye.
12:34I'm sorry.
12:35I'm sorry.
12:36I'm sorry.
12:37I'm sorry.
12:38I'm sorry.
12:39I'm sorry.
12:40I'm sorry.
12:41I'm sorry.
12:42I'm sorry.
12:43I'm sorry.
12:44I'm sorry.
12:45I'm sorry.
12:46I'm sorry.
12:47I'm sorry.
12:48I'm sorry.
12:49I'm sorry.
12:50I'm sorry.
12:51I'm sorry.
12:52I'm sorry.
12:53I'm sorry.
12:54I'm sorry.
12:55I'm sorry.
12:56I'm sorry.
12:57I'm sorry.
12:58I'm sorry.
12:59I'm sorry.
13:00I'm sorry.
13:01I'm sorry.
13:02I'm sorry.
13:03I'm sorry.
13:04I'm sorry.
13:05I'm sorry.
13:06I'm sorry.
13:07I'm sorry.
13:31Hair.
13:32Shall we? Just pull back on it a tad.
13:36Jeet, whip up a story on shark nets.
13:39OK.
13:40Not feeling well?
13:41No, I have a middle ear infection.
13:43I told you I need earplugs.
13:44Sorry, I thought only kids got ear infections from swimming.
13:48No, my doctor said that I have the ear canals of a seven-year-old.
13:52Oh, that's sweet.
13:53Are we pro or against?
13:55Against? I mean, who's a massive nethead?
13:58Swimmers.
13:59Well, they have ocean pools.
14:01But I pitched something on biodiversity months ago and you rejected it
14:04because you said it was boring and not relevant to the average woman.
14:07You made me write about Lindsay Lohan's fake tan debt.
14:09I had to do the maths on how many fake tans...
14:11Forty grand.
14:12That was a great story, Jeet.
14:14Women care now.
14:16I mean, more importantly, Margaret cares.
14:18And if Margaret cares, we care.
14:20Find a feature image of a baby seahorse stuck in a net.
14:24Women love horses.
14:25Shouldn't be too much of a stretch to make them care.
14:28Idiots do this, make me care.
14:30It's not fun at all.
14:36Psst.
14:37Any sense of poor man's traffic yet?
14:40I've been monitoring engagement across socials.
14:43Likes, comments and shares are all high,
14:45which is a good indicator of strong website traffic.
14:47Fuck.
14:48From the look of their avatars, they're young. Millennials.
14:51They'll give anything a go.
14:52Except hard work and cow's milk.
14:56Well, what about us?
14:58Would you read that?
14:59Why everyone I know needs a personality upgrade.
15:02Nah. Nah, absolutely not.
15:05I don't believe in personality.
15:07Do you think that Eve life is just for angry old women?
15:10Angry old white women?
15:14Sorry, Evelyn.
15:23The images on our site say a lot about who we are.
15:26They're stock images from iPix,
15:27and iPix think all women look like Kate with a C, except hotter.
15:30With a beaming smile that says,
15:32I just enjoyed a call on planes.
15:35We need a new image library.
15:37One of our own.
15:38With real women.
15:39Eve life readers.
15:42Paul, organise a photo shoot and find a client to pay for it.
15:46Opal, what do your people care about?
15:49My people?
15:50Young, cool people.
15:51Oh, of course.
15:53Uh, well, currently debating
15:56if liking another girl's photo on Instagram constitutes cheating.
15:59Dom did it, now everyone thinks I should break up with him.
16:02Write that.
16:03Put your face to it. Close-up.
16:05Shocked expression.
16:07Sad and betrayed.
16:11It's good.
16:12This is good. It's good.
16:21Any update from Margaret?
16:23She shared Jeet's piece on sharknets, which is a good sign.
16:26You gonna start interviewing?
16:28No, not till I get a signed contract.
16:30Pardon?
16:31Not until I have a signed contract.
16:33Don't need to yell.
16:35Anyway, you...
16:37You've changed.
16:38Fortune favours the brave, but being brave has cost me a fortune.
16:41Well, I've got a stack of applications. Should we start?
16:43No, none of that.
16:45I'll know when I see it.
16:46Just like with you.
16:48Christine hired me.
16:49Oh.
16:53Phew.
16:59It's good, darling.
17:00It's just a little bit repetitive in the first three or four paragraphs.
17:05Oh, Evelyn.
17:06I've been reading Eve Life.
17:09Really?
17:10Yeah. What do you think?
17:11I really like Opal. I feel like we're best friends.
17:13You're not the only one.
17:15Yeah, I really liked her breakdown of, um...
17:18Was it sex on her period and her thing on fetishes?
17:21You what?
17:22That's inappropriate.
17:24Turn around.
17:25I could tell you about my friend's fetishes.
17:27No, thanks.
17:28Come on, let's study.
17:30Look, it's not my thing, but cake-sitting, feather play...
17:35No, no.
17:36I'm thrilled that I don't understand either of those things.
17:39Viv, come on. Let's go.
17:40So, what are you writing now?
17:42Nothing.
17:43What's the latest seething feminist discourse?
17:45Five ways to work leftovers into a new meal.
17:49OK, come on. Let's go, Viv.
17:53She's so cool.
17:55Is she?
17:57Alex.
17:59Oh, girl.
18:14What's happened?
18:16I let Vivian stay over.
18:18He emotionally manipulated me.
18:20John's been so mean to me.
18:22But I can hear them doing things.
18:24I can feel it.
18:25You can feel it?
18:27Yeah, I can hear it, too. Listen.
18:31The only thing I can hear is you hyperventilating.
18:33That's her!
18:36Oh, it might be the dog, too.
18:38So, what do you want me to do from here? You want me to drive over?
18:41Oh, thanks, Jenny.
18:43I will have another bowl.
18:45Bowl?
18:46Homemade minestrone.
18:49Never cooks for me.
18:51Look, just go in there and tell them to go to bed.
18:53You're in charge, remember?
18:55You've given him the talk, haven't you?
18:56No, of course not.
18:57That's what Google's for. Google doesn't get embarrassed.
19:02Getting a dose of your own medicine, Ev?
19:04She was a frisky teenager.
19:06Fuck off.
19:07Sorry.
19:08Shit, shit.
19:10What? What's happened now?
19:11Finn Skoller's missing.
19:12She was talking about fetishes this afternoon.
19:15Cake sitting.
19:17What is that?
19:21What?
19:29I make a good coffee.
19:38How did you sleep?
19:40Good.
19:42Yeah, I crashed out. Eventually.
19:45Oh, relax, I'm on the pill.
19:46For my skin, Evelyn. I'm joking.
19:50I would never go on the pill for contraception.
19:53I mean, why is it always the woman's responsibility?
19:55Finn!
19:57Finn!
20:00What were you doing with that?
20:02He doesn't need that pressure around his neck when he's at home.
20:05Imagine sleeping with something applying constant pressure to your body.
20:09What you're describing is essentially a weighted blanket.
20:12People pay a lot of money for that.
20:15You're funny, Evelyn.
20:18I just think boundaries make dogs feel protected and safe.
20:30What?
20:31You don't have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
20:34Gross.
20:35You've got your whole life ahead of you, just a little boy.
20:41Did you do anything with that collar?
20:43Oh, my God.
20:46Oh, fuck. She makes a good coffee.
21:13Who men have started their own parenting column on the bed?
21:18I wouldn't worry about them.
21:20They wouldn't know a vaginal prolapse if it slapped them in the face.
21:24I think I get your point, but if that actually happened,
21:27I'm pretty sure they'd figure it out.
21:29Yeah, come on.
21:30What are you writing about?
21:32Well, I left Storm in the bath the other day with the tap running.
21:36Saw something on Mother Guilt.
21:37Yeah, I know it well.
21:39God, it's hard, isn't it?
21:41Just make sure you include some notes from your man.
21:44It's important to get the male perspective.
21:46Who's that?
21:49From a man.
21:52Hey, are we going to have our morning meeting?
21:54Yeah, I'm just doing it from here.
21:56What are you writing about, Jeet?
21:58Well, the Times have done something really incredible on rising sea levels.
22:01I want something original.
22:03What is it that's making you angry at the moment, Jeet?
22:06I'm angry about rising sea levels.
22:09And how do we make that meaningful to women?
22:11Well, there'll be climate refugees and half of them will be women.
22:16OK, go for it.
22:17OK, thanks, Evelyn.
22:24OK, best behaviour, everyone.
22:26This could be a really important partnership.
22:30Oh, Penn, lose the coffee cup. We've got Margaret coming in.
22:33My nippies are frozen. Can we at least have the heating on?
22:35Oh, not paper towels!
22:37We have to stop.
22:38Paul, put that in the mug.
22:40I just don't want to see any plastic around.
22:42Should we turn the lights off?
22:43I think we've got bigger problems than plastic.
22:45What's that?
22:46The hypocrisy of the eco-millionaire.
22:48Don't yell at me about coffee cups while boarding your private plane
22:51and living in your mansion.
22:52Who the fuck approved that?
22:54You did.
22:56You told me to get angry.
22:58I was thinking more plastic straws
23:00or literally anything else that wasn't going to financially doom the company.
23:04How long's it been up?
23:05One hour.
23:06Fuck!
23:07It's doing extremely well.
23:08We need to talk about luxury consumption.
23:10Not today, we don't.
23:11I've just been down a rabbit hole of pseudo-eco-warriors
23:14who pick and choose their causes for clout.
23:17Jesus Christ.
23:18I'm sick of millionaires who preach about climate change and sustainability
23:22just to board on super yachts and fly private jets
23:24and build mega mansions with a double sink in every bathroom.
23:31Hi, Margaret.
23:32Hi.
23:33Come with me. Come into my office.
23:37Well, it looks like you have a group of very young, hungry writers.
23:43Too much idealism and collagen.
23:46But that story was mostly about the Americans.
23:50She does raise some valid points, but that kind of cynicism
23:53is not helpful to the cause.
23:56Is it cynicism?
23:58I have some other concerns about your site.
24:01You've got articles on wasteful seasonal fashion,
24:04cooking stories with meat,
24:06and a paid partnership with a disposable nappy brand.
24:10You ought to be encouraging your readers to use cloth nappies.
24:14Oh.
24:15Look, I'm starting to think this may not be a good fit.
24:19You're right. We can do better.
24:22Sorry to interrupt, but I need you to sign for this delivery
24:25of a prototype pleasure machine.
24:28It says urgent and, weirdly, do not use while driving.
24:32Do not use while driving.
24:34Yeah.
24:35Volcano want a promotion before launch.
24:38There's another overlooked source of microplastics.
24:41No, no, they're silicon.
24:43They're lovely and soft.
24:45Seems a bit sad to have a clean, green planet
24:47if we can't have volcanic eruptions in our under area.
24:51Betty.
24:58That's a joke. She's just joking.
25:01Well, soon there won't be a planet to have orgasms on.
25:07That wasn't a joke.
25:11If you want my investment, I'm going to have to ask you
25:14for a stronger stance on the environment.
25:16Moon cups instead of pads and tampons,
25:20natural cleaning products, zero waste make-up
25:22and sustainable cooking ingredients.
25:25We're a business. We're not a not-for-profit.
25:29Not by choice, anyway.
25:30I can't invest in hypocrisy.
25:34Do you have kids, Margaret?
25:37Do you want my investment?
25:40Yes, I wouldn't have asked for it if I didn't want it.
25:43My business is at a point now where I can expand
25:46and grow with proper resources.
25:50And you do know how capitalism works.
25:53Yes, thank you.
25:55But why should the mental load of climate change
25:58sit entirely upon women's shoulders?
26:01No, it shouldn't. That's not what I'm saying.
26:03But you expect women to buy cleaning products
26:06that are more expensive and barely work
26:08and at the same time be arms deep in shit-soaked cloth nappies.
26:13I'm not going to use Eve Life to shame women for their choices.
26:17I'm just not going to. That's not what we do here.
26:20And sometimes women need toxic chemicals
26:23because kids make a fucking mess.
26:25And sometimes we need microplastics to satisfy ourselves
26:29because men are mostly useless at it.
26:31Wow.
26:33I think you might be missing the point.
26:41Maybe we did waste each other's time.
26:44And speaking of waste, one less for landfill.
27:15Someone?
27:25Oh, fuck.
27:30Hello.
27:31Evelyn.
27:32Oh, you look familiar.
27:34Sorry, I'm not blazing it.
27:36Yeah, I'm Erica.
27:39I'm sorry.
27:40I'm not blazing it.
27:41Yeah, I'm Erica.
27:44I'm the librarian at Addy's school.
27:47Oh.
27:49Isis knew a new school initiative to get the books back.
27:53Is Addy in trouble?
27:54She dog-eared the pages.
27:55Sorry, we all do that in this family.
27:57Yeah, you shouldn't do that.
27:59But no, it's not about the books.
28:02Sorry, I thought this was John's night.
28:04Isis, it's a work thing.
28:06I must have got the days mixed up.
28:08You did, which is honestly unlike either of us.
28:11But he did look frazzled today.
28:13I don't think he's sleeping well at your mother's.
28:16I'll give him a call and I'm sorry for disturbing you
28:19and say hi to the kids.
28:20Incest, still not following.
28:24I was coming over to see John.
28:26Yes, I heard that bit, but he's not here.
28:28Can I help you?
28:32He hasn't told you.
28:35I will give him a call.
28:38Okay.
29:08I'm sorry.
29:38I'm sorry.
30:08I'm sorry.